Private Tutor
by creampuffsteph
Summary: Bella takes a chance and goes to school far from where she's used to. But what happens when her extremely good looking TA seems to despise her for no reason? My first fanfic, be gentle please. all human, bxe, axj, rxem
1. Chapter 1

**disclaimer: I'm not Stephenie Meyer, just using her characters.**

**And please be nice to me, this is my first attempt at writing something like this. Review are welcome to help improve the story!**

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"I can do this…I can do this…I can do this…" My absurd mutterings were starting to sound like the little engine that could more and more these days.

"I can do this…I can do.." oh who was I kidding? I cannot do this. What compelled me to apply to Northwestern University anyway? And what were they thinking when they had let me in? I mean, sure I had decent grades, but nothing spectacular. I never even did any extracurricular activities while in high school. Maybe it was the essay. Was it that good?

I really need to stop this. No more second guessing myself. I promised myself. A new year, a new school, a new beginning. Which brings me back to why I applied to Northwestern in the first place. I needed this. As I stared at my reflection in the mirror, I mentally ticked off the pros on my list of reasons for attending Northwestern.

1. It was a well recognized university with an emerging masters program in creative writing.

2. I had family in the area in case I got homesick

3. It was far away from Phoenix. Leaving behind this place would hopefully mean leaving behind my "acquaintances" as well. I wouldn't really miss anyone here besides my mom.

4. Northwestern has a campus in Chicago and Evanston. And though I chose the latter, Chicago wouldn't be that far away. I was excited at the prospect of being so close to such a large city.

5. I know this is ridiculous, but maybe I'd fit in better in Chicago. I was nowhere near the epitome of a Phoenix girl. I was pale, ghostly white in my opinion. Though I was accustomed to the sun, I couldn't tan. Strictly sunburn fading to white. How does that even happen? Plus my unruly mud brown hair was so boring. Not quite straight but not quite curly, I would more often than not throw it up in a messy bun for sheer ease. I even had dull, plain brown eyes to match the hair. Then there was the fashion. I just could never justify spending so much money and clothes, nor could I afford it. It was just me and Renee after all.

Renee, my mom, was a different story. We definitely shared some features in common, but she was so much more vibrant and eager to experience life that she was always so much more attractive than me. Ever since she started dating Phil, her enthusiasm has increased, tenfold. I guess dating a younger man does that to you.

"Bella! Are you almost finished? Charlie will be here any minute. We don't want to keep him waiting, now do we?!" Renee was yelling at me from across the house, something I couldn't stand.

Renee's sense of responsibility wasn't fooling me. I knew her anxiety was caused by her feelings of loss over me. Ever since she left Charlie when I was just a baby, it's been just the two of us. We were more sisters than mother and daughter, and interestingly enough I was the older sister in this relationship.

"Bella, did you hear me?!"

Oops. I forget how my inner monologue can disrupt any sense of normal conversation.

"Yeah Mom, I'm done. I'll start bringing my stuff out front." I really don't like yelling across the house.

If it weren't for Phil I'd probably make due at a local community college, suffer inwardly and whatnot. Because my mom needed me, or at least someone, to help take care of those less important tasks in life. You know the ones, those trivial things like paying bills, going grocery shopping, cleaning the house…But Phil has been great for her. His love and care for Renee really helped me feel at ease about moving half way across the country. Besides, they were moving in together and I really didn't feel the need to be around for the pseudo honeymoon stage of their romance.

"Well, I think this is the last of it." Just in time as Charlie was pulling into the driveway as I spoke. "Mom! I thought you made him promise not to bring the cruiser!" My face was tinted a not so subtle red as I envisioned the drive from here to Evanston in a police cruiser.

Charlie, the police chief in Forks, WA, had insisted on taking me to Evanston himself, stating the need for father/daughter bonding time before his "little girl became a woman." When I protested by stating I hardly had enough luggage to deem a care necessary (I easily could've flown), my mother had surprised me with all the new furniture and accessories I would need for college living. I hated when anyone spent money on me, even my parents. Thus, Charlie felt even more of a need to take me to school.

"Well honey," she sounded pretty flustered now, "he probably couldn't find another car to take…and…well…weboththinkthiswillbesaferandquickerforyou." She inhaled quickly after rushing that last bit out.

I just couldn't bring myself to fight with her knowing I wouldn't see her again until Christmas.

"Ok Mom. I understand. But maybe next time a little warning?"

"Sure thing sweetie."

I heard a "knock, knock" and saw Charlie slowly open the front door. He poked his head in and yelled, "I'm here!" so as to alert us of his presence.

"We're in here Charlie!" Renee shouted from our small living room.

The smallest of smiles began to form on my lips. Though I didn't see Charlie as often as I'd like, I loved him. We were kindred spirits. I definitely inherited his quiet reserve, his eyes, and that stupid mess of hair. We didn't need to speak much to convey our feelings. So when he gave me that look, I knew what he was planning on saying.

"It's ok Dad. I know you and Mom decided to use the cruiser for my benefit. How about we don't drag this out anymore than needed and hit the road."

"Sure Bells, sounds good."

"Oh Bella, sweetie, I'll miss you so much. I'll call you every day and email every night and…" with that she launched at me, squeezing me into a vice like hug. I knew better than to expect a call and email from her every day. She was so enthralled with Phil, she hardly had time for anything else. Plus I didn't need her to do that. I was trying to start over. It's kind of hard to do that with an overbearing mother.

Fifteen minutes later and we were on the road. Just me, Charlie, and enough silence to get lost in the possibilities this year would bring.


	2. Chapter 2

Finally! We were an hour or so outside of Evanston. That trip had taken entirely too long. The worst part probably being the monotony of driving through Nebraska, which I've never personally visited but didn't enjoy seeing. The drive was pretty uneventful. Charlie and I were never ones for expressing emotions. But he must have felt compelled to 'bond' since he was, in a sense, losing his little girl. He tried to get us to stop every so often to look at different sites, but I was too anxious to get into Illinois.

"So Bells, I have a surprise for you." Ugh, I hate surprises. "Your aunt and uncle in Highland Park have this old truck they were trying to sell and when they found out you'd be so close to them, they offered it up for use while you're here. Plus they think it'll give you incentive to visit and get to know them better."

I couldn't help but notice the word "old" in that sentence. "How old is old Dad?" I wasn't picky. I mean, I've never had my own car before! But I was nervous about it breaking down in some foreign part of the Chicagoland area with no help available.

"Don't worry Bells. It's in great condition. You know how your Uncle John is about cars. They're practically his lovers. Seriously, I don't know how Jan puts up with him." I chuckled quietly at my aunt and uncle. I didn't know them very well. They lived so far away so I only saw them every other year at family reunions that Charlie dragged me to. Still, what I did know, I liked.

"Wow, thanks Dad! I really appreciate the thoughtfulness. Are we going to pick it up now?" Charlie just smiled and nodded.

As we pulled into John's and Jan's driveway, I could see why they might have trouble selling the truck. It was a rusty red color and looked to be from around the 50's. I loved the classis feel it gave off, not to mention the pure bulk of it, sure to keep a klutz like me safe if ever needed. It didn't help that they lived in a very nice neighborhood where such a truck stuck out like a sore thumb. The cars in all the houses looked very expensive. Like their neighbors; I saw a fun little yellow car and a sleek silver car parked out front. What would it be like in one of those?

"Charlie! Isabella!" My aunt and uncle ran out to greet us. I profusely thanked them for allowing me the use of the truck.

"Just promise me you'll treat Roxanne with all the respect a dignified lady deserves." John gushed the words with so much love and pride. I had to choke back a laugh when I saw Jan roll her eyes at me.

We stayed the night with them, enjoying pleasant conversation and good food. When it was time for bed, I had the hardest time falling asleep. I kept thinking about tomorrow, what my roommate would be like, how I'd like classes, etc, etc. I noticed a soft tinkling noise coming from outside my window. I tuned out all thinking so I could focus on the sound. It was a piano. Clair de Lune floated to my ears and I've never heard it sound more beautiful. With the sweet music in my ears, I drifted off to sleep, the worries at bay for now.

I awoke to the sound of squealing tires. I jumped to the window just in time to see the yellow and silver cars racing out of the neighborhood. Geez, like bats out of hell.

The four of us enjoyed a quiet breakfast and then Charlie and I were off. He followed in his cruiser while I drove the truck. John had warned me about the speed limitations, but I was in for a shock when I actually drove it. John suggested I stay away from the tollway, or suffer being flattened by oncoming traffic. There was no need for the warning though. The tollway looked and sounded like a death trap to me.

Before I knew it, we were pulling up outside my dorm. Charlie and I grabbed some stuff and headed to my building. Thank God my room as on the first floor. I braced for impact as I opened the door. Before I got a good look around, I saw a stunning, yet tiny girl step in my eyeline. She surprised me so much I almost didn't see where I was going and barely avoided tripping over my left foot.

"Oh my goodness, you must be my roommate! I'm Alic, Alice Cullen." The name sounded vaguely familiar. "It's so nice to meet you." Wow, she sure did talk fast.

"Hi, I'm Bella Swan and this is my dad, Charlie." Charlie gave a polite nod and said hello while stepping further into the room. As he unloaded his arms, I took the time to look over Alice. She _was_ tiny, probably not even 5 feet and under 100 lbs. She had jet black hair cut in the coolest short pixie style I've ever seen. She also had designer clothes on. And as I let my eyes sweep around the room, I noticed that everything she owned looked so expensive. She even had an LCD TV on her side for goodness sake!

"So Bella, would you like help? My brother Emmett is bringing up my last box of stuff." Where did the girl find space in this tiny box of a room? "And he and I could help if you'd like."

"Sure that sounds great. Thanks." I could see relief in Charlie's eyes. If it hadn't been for my mom, Charlie and I could've managed everything in one trip easily. However, the additions to my stuff meant a lot of heavy lifting. Just then, the most massive, muscular guy I've ever seen walked in with a huge box in arms.

"Emmett, just set that down wherever. I'd like you to meet my roommate Bella and her dad Charlie." Emmett must have noticed the shock registering on my face because his smile looked like it was holding back laughter. My face always did show my emotions too clearly. Damn open book.

"Hello Bella, Charlie, nice to meet you."

"Hi."

"Hello." Charlie looked a little wary of Emmett.

"I hope you don't mind Emmett, but I offered your services for Bella and Charlie. They could really use your help." He laughed and told us all he'd love to help. He sounded so sincere.

It only took two trips to unload all my things thanks to Emmett. Sooner than expected, I was saying my goodbyes to Charlie. Emmett wished Charlie safe travels and told me he'd most likely be seeing me later, then slipped out of the room.

"Bells, be careful, but have fun too. College is supposed to be the best years of your life."

"Thanks for everything. Call me when you get back to Forks so I know you're safe." He gave me a quick hug and with that strode out of my room, my new home for the next year.

"Well Bella, it's just you and me. We have so much to learn about each other and I know the perfect ice breaker, mani-pedis!" I really hoped this was not a sign of things to come.


	3. Chapter 3

I spent the rest of the afternoon getting to know Alice. Even though she was over the top when it came to anything feminine, we got along great. I was right to assume all her possessions were high end designer items. She didn't hide her disappointment when she saw my wardrobe.

"Hmm…we might have to do something about this. A shopping spree would be so much fun."

I knew I had to try and reign her in. "Alice, sorry to burst your bubble, but I'm not exactly rolling in the money. No shopping sprees for me." There. She couldn't expect me to go shopping if I had no money.

"Oh there is no need to worry." She pulled out a black credit card I've never seen before. "I've got it covered."

"Please, Alice, don't even start. I'll let you in on a little 'secret.' I don't like people spending money on me." She looked at me like I was delusional, but changed subjects pretty quickly. I was afraid this wouldn't be the only time my clothes became the focus of Alice's attention.

I learned so much about her that afternoon. She was the youngest of three children. Her two older brothers were attending Northwestern as well. Emmett, who seemed a little old to still be here, was apparently the Van Wilder of campus. He was taking it so slowly, I'd probably graduate before him. It wasn't because he wasn't smart enough; he just preferred it that way, no pressure and lots of fun. She also had a brother named Edward who was pre-med and apparently worked on campus part time.

Then Alice began telling me all about her one true love, Jasper Hale. She spoke of him as if he was some god, and knowing Alice and her tastes, he probably looked like one. They had been dating since high school and everyone that knew them just assumed that marriage was around the corner. He was a couple years older and would graduate soon, so they would probably wait til then. And apparently Jasper had a twin sister named Rosalie who was dating Emmett. She too was here for school. Wow, it all seemed so convenient and perfect that these friends should all end up together.

"Oh, and my dad's a professor here. He's taking a break from his medical practice to teach some biology classes." Now I know why the last name Cullen sounded so familiar.

'Carlisle Cullen, Professor Cullen, is your dad?" She simply nodded. "I have him for my biology course."

"Oh no way! I'm taking his class too! Should be an easy A right? I'll just have to suck up to the professor." She winked at that and then pulled out her class schedule for us to compare. "Look, we're taking it together AND we're even in the same lab!" She got the oddest expression in her eyes, but before I had a chance to decipher it, she asked me what my major was.

"Well, I'm an English major, but what I really love to do is write. So I want to do my master's in the creative writing program they just started. It's one of the reasons I decided to come to Northwestern. What about you?"

"Oh, I'm a theater major. I really love costume and make up design! I wanted to go to fashion school but my parents insisted I go to a 'real' school first. So this is the next best thing." I could totally see Alice doing anything with clothes and makeup.

Since most of our conversation had been centered on Alice's life, she decided it was time to learn more about mine. I explained how my parents had split shortly after I was born. I described life in Phoenix and the stark contrast of my summers spent in Forks. When she found out I was an only child, she got excited.

"Bella, I've always wanted a sister. And I have one at last! I know my brothers will treat you like family too." She really was the sweetest girl I knew. I was so lucky to have a roommate like her.

The next couple of days were spent getting acquainted with campus and settling in. Emmett came by often to chat. He was quickly becoming one of my favorite guy friends (well, my only guy friend). I even met Rosalie once. She was stunning, absolutely gorgeous. Her blonde hair and perfect body made me feel so inadequate. If that's what Rosalie looked like, Jasper was sure to be gorgeous as well. They did share DNA after all. I had yet to meet Alice's boyfriend because he wouldn't be on campus until the night before classes started. I hadn't met her other brother yet either. She said he was really busy with his studies and preparations for med school.

It was finally Sunday night, meaning I could feel the jitters and butterflies in my stomach start to overwhelm me. Was I ready for tomorrow? Too late now. Just when I thought I would implode form nerves, Alice walked in the room towing a handsome blonde, hunk of a guy. This was obviously Jasper.

"Bella, I'd like you to meet my boyfriend and love of my life, Jasper. Jasper, Bella."

"Nice to meet you, " I mumbled, slightly in awe of his good looks.

"How do you do, m'am?" he had the slightest hint of a southern accent. Alice told me how he grew up in Texas, but right before his freshman year in high school; his family came to live in Chicago. It was nice to see he still had his southern etiquette and charm.

The morning shone bright through our small window on Monday.

"C'mon, get up or we'll be late!" Great, she's a morning person. We got our bags and headed out the door. As we headed to our different classes, we promised to meet up just outside our Biology lecture. First day of classes turned out to be pretty boring. Did we really need to cover the syllabus in every class? I was really starting to look forward to biology with Alice. At least I'd have her to survive the monotony.

I waited for what seemed like hours for Alice, just outside the room. I was just about to head in without her when I saw her running towards me.

"Let's hurry so we can get a seat in the back. I really don't want my dad to see me and call me out. Nothing worse than being known as the professor's daughter, right?" I just laughed and followed her in.

We got lucky. There were two seats in the back row, right next to the aisle. Good. Now I wouldn't need to step all over people to get to a seat. My clumsiness would probably resort to falling in someone's lap.

As I was settling myself into the seat, I saw the most amazing guy walk by. I first caught a glimpse of his body. One word came to mind immediately, wow. I slowly let my gaze travel up his body. His dark jeans fit close to his body, a nice change from the baggy jeans I saw on most guys. The way they hugged his ass just showed off how nice it was. I had to sudden urge to squeeze it, something I would never do in real life. I was a little embarrassed at my own lustful thoughts towards this guy. The charcoal grey t-shirt he wore fit snuggly to his muscled chest. He had broad shoulders and amazing arms. They weren't huge like Emmett's but still built. He obviously worked out. I watched as he raised his arm to his head and run his hand through his hair. Wow, his hair was, wow. It was messy with that "I just rolled out of bed" look. While most guys had to work hard to pull off that look, it seemed completely effortless with him. At first I thought his hair was brown. But as he walked directly under the light, I saw it had a bronze tint to it that I've never seen on anyone before. His hair was practically begging to be touched and I was envious of the hand that was busy messing it up now.

I was saving looking at his face for last, thinking there had to be a flaw there. Nobody was that perfect looking. But I was wrong. Apparently he is that perfect. He had a strong jaw line with the most kissable lips I've ever seen. His nose was straight and perfectly proportioned to the rest of his face. As I moved on to his eyes I noticed he was looking at Alice, a smile slowly creeping on his face.

Of course. Of course someone that attractive would seek out someone else as attractive. Like he'd ever see anything special in someone as plain as me.

I was still staring openly, lost in my thoughts, when he turned his gaze to me. Oh! His eyes were the most brilliant green I'd ever seen. They looked like sparkling emeralds and were shocking against his creamy, pale skin. I realized too late that he had caught me staring. I blushed furiously and the red in my face only darkened when I saw his expression. It looked confused…and annoyed? Before I could correctly place it, he was swiftly walking towards the front of the lecture hall.

"I'd like to welcome everyone to class. I know this will be an amazing semester for us all!" professor Cullen boomed out. I lost track of what he was saying. My mine was too preoccupied with indecent thoughts about my mystery man.

It was finally Friday. The only class for both Alice and me was our bio lab. It wasn't until 2pm, so there was no rush to get up and get ready, or so I thought.

"Bella, it's 10am. Get up! We have to get ready!"

"Seriously Alice? We have like three hours before we even have to THINK about leaving. Besides, I already have my outfit picked out." I gestured to my chair. "I'll just throw it on and we're ready to go." My voice had gotten quieter and quieter while watching Alice's face, so by the time I said "ready to go" it was hardly audible. "What Alice?"

"You can't be serious." She shook her head and looked like I had just slapped her across the face. "Seriously? Seriously. Bella, don't you want to make a good impression? Labs are a lot more intimate, more one on one, than lectures. You could meet your future husband there!" I just laughed. It was my turn to be shocked.

"Seriously Alice? Wow. That's a good one. I'm hoping to be getting out of that class soon anyway." She looked confused. "Well, see, I took an advanced class in high school and Professor Cull…your dad mentioned that this was a beginners course and anyone who wanted to could test out of it for credit. As long as I get an 80 on that test, I'm golden." She did not look happy about that.

"There is NO WAY you're leaving me alone in that class. I need you!"

"Listen, I looked through the syllabus and I know all of the material already. Passing that test would help lighten my work load considerably. Don't worry though because I would still help you study."

She huffed at me, but after a few seconds her expression softened. "Ok then. But you should still wear something nice. Because you'll want to meet up with my dad afterwards to discuss this test thingy. First impressions Bella, first impressions."

I caved, much to Alice's delight. She began rifling through our closets. She pulled out a denim mini skirt and royal blue halter top for me.

"Um, Alice? Do you want me to try and seduce your dad into letting me pass out of the class or something?"

"Oh. Good point. It is a bit much." She hung the skirt back up and pulled out a pair of dark wash skinny jeans and a heather grey shrug to wear over the halter. I put on the clothes and twirled for Alice. I had to admit, I did feel good in the outfit. Alice whooped with delight and held out a pair of blue wedges for me.

"No Alice. I draw the line at any kind of shoes that put distance between my feet and the ground. I'll just fall on my face if I wear those." She had yet to witness any sign of my klutziness but I had told her enough stories for her to believe me.

"Also a good point. OK. Take these flats." They were a heather grey like the shrug. "And now for the makeup!" I just groaned. When it came to makeup though, there was no stopping her. My jaw dropped as she pulled out her collection of MAC products. It looked like she owned every product they made. Come to think about it, she probably did.

After literally hours, I looked down at my watch, only to notice it was 1:50.

"Alice! We gotta go. We're gonna be late as it is!"

"Shit! We gotta hurry!" I didn't want to be late but Alice seemed panicked and down right frightened at the thought of being late.

At 2:10 we were barreling down the hall towards the room. I saw someone inside go to close the door. Alice pumped faster and broke through before it was closed all the way. But she stopped, too abruptly and I found myself running into her as she started to apologize.

"Sorry Edward. We didn't mean to be la…OW!"

I only briefly acknowledged the fact that she knew our TA's name before colliding with her and feeling myself fall backwards. Before my ass could hit the ground though, a pair of strong arms wrapped around me and brought me back on my feet.

"Thank you. I'm so sorry about the disrupt…" My voice got stuck in my throat as I realized who had caught me. It was the same mystery man from lecture. My heart did a little flop in my chest at the thought of him in lab with me. I immediately blushed from the feel of his arms on me. I only hoped he didn't feel how hot my skin had become. He looked back at me with the most livid expression possible. I shrank back, hurt and confused.

"Please find a seat so we can start." He practically spat the words at me. Alice and I made our way to the opposite side of the room, getting as far away from him as possible. "As I was saying before being so rudely interrupted, my name is Edward and I'll be your TA for the semester. Oh shit. It's gonna be a long semester. All through the hour, Edward kept glaring at me. And when the hour was up, he practically ran from the room.

"Bella, I'm so sorry. I totally fucked up. Please forgive me?"

"Don't be so hard on yourself Alice. It's not your fault. And besides, who knew the TA would react like that?"

"Bella, you don't understand…"

"No seriously, Alice, don't worry. Besides, I have to go talk to your dad now about that test before his office hours are up."

"Ok, I'll se you later." Alice looked so sad and upset about the situation and I couldn't understand why she was taking it out on herself.

As I turned the corner, closing the distance to Professor Cullen's office, I heard voices. I normally don't eavesdrop, but when I heard _his_ voice, I stopped dead.

"Isn't there any way you could switch me around and TA for another section?" Even angry, his voice was so smooth and sexy.

"Edward, son," huh, that was a weird term of endearment for a professor and TA, "what's the problem? I don't understand. You told me this time was perfect for you."

"I know what I said, but I was wrong. Something's…come up."

"Well I'm afraid there's nothing I can do at this point. Everyone's schedule is locked up." Why did Edward want to switch sections? This couldn't possibly be because of me? No, surely not.

"Dad, please. Isn't there something you can do?" Oh. My. Gosh. I am going to KILL Alice! Edward, this Edward, was her brother. How had she so conveniently forgotten to mention that? I had enough. Now was as good a time as any to interrupt.

I knocked quietly on the door before saying "Excuse me, Prof Cullen? May I speak with you for a moment?" I saw Edward's jaw tense at the sound of my voice and his whole posture stiffened.

"Of course, Miss..?"

"Swan, Isabella Swan. But please, call me Bella." I was trying hard to sound polite and professional despite the anger and hurt coursing through my veins.

"Ok, Bella. What can I do for you?"

"Well sir, I noticed you mentioned a test available for students looking to pass out of the class. You see, I reviewed the course material and noticed I've already learned all of it."

"I see. Well, may I ask why you're even taking the course?" He didn't sound offended, just curious.

"I need the credits for my generals and unfortunately…" I blushed at this part, "my high school didn't have the budget available to offer AP classes. So while I took advanced courses, I had no way of actually earning college credit." I'm sure I was red as a tomato by now. I hated admitting how poorly funded my school was. It just showed how poor I was.

"Oh. Well, of course you can take the test if you'd like. However, it's not available for another few weeks. So you'll just have to be patient. Edward, why don't you get the information for Bella and we can resume our discussion later."

"It's fine Dr. Cullen." I wondered why he didn't just call him dad. Did he not want people knowing they were family? "I can tell there's really nothing left to be said as nothing can be done." He said all this while looking through a filing cabinet. "Here." He shoved a piece of paper at me and stomped out of the room.

"Edward!" Prof Cullen shouted after him. "I really don't know what's gotten into him. He's not usually this rude. Well Bella, I look forward to getting to know you, even if for only a few more weeks."

With a nod, I turned and walked out of his office. What the hell is going on?


	4. Chapter 4

**Sorry, i meant to mention a thanks to those who reviewed and those who put this story on alert/favorite. it makes me so happy to think you guys could like my little story! plus i do appreciate any comments to help benefit this story. **

**so, fyi the line breaks help separate time shifts and whatnot**

**and obviously this is in edwards point of view. i don't know if i'll continue to put some chapters in his pov or not. if you like it, let me know and i'll make sure to include it.**

**and because i feel like i have to, but shouldn't have to because it's obvious, i'm not sm, twilight and its characters/plot do not belong to me**

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EPOV

I had finally reached my last semester here at Northwestern. I couldn't be more thrilled about that. All those semesters crammed with too many credit hours were paying off. I wanted to graduate a semester early, with as little credits left as possible for a reason. The extra time I had would be spent preparing myself for my future career. My plan was always to attend medical school, become a doctor just like my father. I was pretty young still when I asked him what his job was.

"Well son, I'm in the business of helping people." I didn't quite understand what he meant. If he had just said "I'm a doctor" I would've understood. But as I aged, his answer showed me how he really viewed his chosen profession, an act of service as opposed to a chore. I've always admired him, but when I realized just how much he revered being a doctor, my admiration grew exponentially. So as I got older, I asked him questions nonstop. Every answer proved to me how much he loved what he does.

Even now, I know my father misses being at the hospital. But for so many years, he had to keep insane hours and was often rushing out the door to help some poor soul in need. We never resented him for it, but we did miss him sometimes. Now that all the children were out of the house, my mother and father wanted to more fully enjoy each other's company.

It was amazing the love they had for each other, especially after all these years. That kind of love and devotion was hard for me to envision in my life. True, I dated and had quite a few girlfriends throughout the years, but I was never serious with any of them. If I was being completely honest with myself, they were merely a source of release. I'm not proud of the fact. My only condolence was that I treated them all well, just not well enough to stay for long. I was much too focused on my future career. I told myself that once I had established a position in the medical field, I would look for my other half. I really was too busy for any kind of romance. With this semester being relatively stress free, I could focus more on getting a head start on the MCATS. Nothing would get in my way of accomplishing this.

The only set back was a promise I made to my father: to TA for his beginner's biology class. As a BioChem major, I saw the course as laughable. I know I was bordering on arrogant, but this just seemed beneath me. But Carlisle insisted he needed the help, saying someone "as qualified" as me could really benefit the incoming freshmen. I had a hard time saying no to him out of the love and respect I felt. My only source of relief in this mess was my baby sister Alice. She was a freshman herself, taking biology to fulfill a credit requirement, and also in my lab section. At least if I got bored I'd have Alice to entertain me.

I was really lucky to have my family so close by. We'd always been very close, a fact that helped persuade the three of us to attend the same college. Emmett was my roommate, naturally, and while he was sometimes too boisterous for his own good, he did help a lot in distressing my seemingly constant bad moods. My only big issue with living with him was his girlfriend Rosalie. I don't hate her, but I can't honestly say I like her either. She is just…Rosalie. But oddly enough the two of them work well together. At least Alice was dating someone I liked. Jasper was my best friend, practically family. And as luck would have it, he was at Northwestern too, just a year behind me. If only he and Alice weren't so vocal about their love life (part of the reason I chose not to room with him. Ugh, that's my baby sister!). Come to think of it, Emmett and Rose were like that too. It's just too disturbing to know what goes on behind closed doors, and to sometimes hear it too. Just the thought caused me to violently shudder in disgust.

Emmett had been gone for awhile. I know he was finishing helping Alice. He had told me to go relax for the move while he brought in the last box of stuff. That guy was a machine. With all the crap Alice had, I was exhausted. But he didn't seem to mind. I probably slowed him down more than I helped. But if he was just finishing up with Alice, what was taking him so long? As if on cue…

"Dude, Eddie, I just met the perfect girl for you!" I just shook my head at Emmett's casual use of the nickname "Eddie." Only he could call me that and get away with it. For whatever reason, I despised the name Eddie. It was just so juvenile.

"Em, how many times have I told you that I don't need help finding women. You know I'm capable of that."

"Sure, capable of finding a good lay, but I'm talking about a girl you could bring home to Mom."

"Whatever, Em, just don't worry about it. When I'm ready for something serious, I'll find me a girl."

"So you don't even wanna know her name or anything?" He looked so down hearted I almost agreed to meet her. Almost.

"No. Seriously. Leave it alone."

He let out a low, heavy sigh and lay down on his bed. Yup, nothing was going to stand in the way of my dreams. I'm too close to attaining the life I've always dreamed of.

First day of classes and I'm already running late. Carlisle's class was the first one for me. I only somewhat rushed to make it on time. I'm usually really punctual but since I've been dreading this for awhile, I was in no hurry. Plus, I knew I'd have no trouble finding a seat. Carlisle requested I sit up front to help if needed. I knew there'd be plenty of seats up there since most like to sit in the back. Vaguely, I wondered were Alice would be sitting. But as I walked into the lecture hall I spotted her right away. For someone so bite size she sure was hard to miss. Flaunting her newest fashion find, Alice was in the last row, on the end by the aisle. I walked by, smiled at her and was about to ask her to sit by me when I noticed her expression.

Alice, eternally perky, was extra exuberant right now. She was trying to discreetly move my focus to the person next to her by shifting her eyes in the girl's direction and waggling her eyebrows at me. It's a wonder she didn't go cross eyed from how quickly she was moving her eyes between me and this girl.

I have in, curious at Alice's persistence, and looked at the girl sitting next to her. I noticed her beauty right away. She was definitely the most beautiful girl I'd seen on campus, well anywhere actually. But she was just that, a pretty face. I watched her as she slowly met my gaze. I was mentally preparing myself for some skanky comment, but instead she blushed. The sudden pink in her cheeks looked stunning in comparison to her milky complexion. I was confused at her reaction. I was really not expecting that response. It was odd and very frustrating because I was so used to girls throwing themselves at me, sometimes literally, just to get a response from me. I decided to not even bother asking Alice; she was obviously staying with the gorgeous brunette. I had to clear my head a little bit and resumed my walk to the front of the class.

"I'd like to welcome everyone to class," my father began, "I know this will be an amazing semester for us all." Yeah, amazing was a good word to describe that mysterious girl.

For the rest of that week I had a hard time keeping the brunette out of my mind. I must've looked weird to Emmett because every once and awhile he'd ask if I was ok. I tried to play it off like nothing was wrong. There was no way I would let Emmett know a girl had an impact on me or he'd be sure to try and set me up.

It was Friday at last and I couldn't be more grateful. I was looking forward to finding something/someone to get my mind off that puzzling girl.

I got an early start to my lab. I briefly thought about calling up Alice to walk to campus together, until I realized she was probably still getting ready. I'll never understand the amount of effort girls put into getting ready.

I reached my destination and sat down waiting somewhat impatiently for the rest to arrive. People started trickling in and I scanned the room for Alice. Nothing yet and it was 2:00 exactly. She knew I hated tardiness. It was now 2:10. With a sigh I started to get up and walk towards the door to close it. I was in the middle of introducing myself when Alice came bolting through the half closed door, muttering out a hurried apology.

"Sorry Edward, we didn't mean to be la…OW!" I watched Alice stumble forward as a girl came hurtling into her. She looked like she had bounced off of Alice's motionless body, as if she were made of granite or something, and was about to fall when instinctively I reached out to catch her from the fall.

She quietly started to apologize when I realized who it was. This girl was _the _girl. The girl who had plagued my thoughts and dreams for the past 4 days. I quickly took in her appearance. She was too damn sexy for class. Sure a lot of girls wore more provocative clothes, but this girl's more conservative approach emitted a sexiness they could never achieve. I realized that this must be Alice's handywork since the first time I saw this girl she was dressed in just a casual shirt and jeans.

"Sorry for the disrupt…" She had finally looked up to see who her savior was and immediately blushed that same color I had grown fond of. But my mind was working at a million miles a minute. It suddenly clicked. Alice, trying to get my attention in lecture. Alice dressing this girl up. Alice bringing her to lab. Alice. She was trying to set me up with this girl.

I was angry beyond belief. Not just at Alice, either. I was beyond angry at this _girl _who was looking too good for _my_ own good. And for what purpose? So I could hook up with another bimbo? Even though she was much more than beautiful, I could not stand the thought of another dumb girl.

"Please find a seat so we can start." She looked a little frightened by my angry stare and hurried off to the other side of class. I repeated my introduction and out of the corner of my eye saw the girl turn even redder. The stupid girl! I would not let her beautiful blush distract me. Even still, I found myself glaring in her direction to see if she was watching me.

The period had barely ended before I was out the door and on my way to see Carlisle. I don't think I could handle being her TA. I could just imagine her using her lack of intelligence as an excuse for a "tutor." There was no way I would let her try and seduce me. I could not give in.

I walked in and started to talk in the calmest voice I could manage, but my annoyance and anger built with every thought of this girl. I was almost to a full blown rampage when I heard a knock on the door and then the devil spoke with the voice of an angel.

"Excuse me, Prof Cullen? May I speak with you for a moment?" Damnit, why now? I tried to ignore her as much as possible but couldn't help listening. She introduced herself as Bella and I found it a fitting name. Beauty. Yes she was. When she started discussing the placement test I gave up trying to ignore her.

"I've reviewed the course material and noticed I've already learned all of it." I was glad my father asked why she was taking the course because I desperately wanted to know at this point.

I watched in awe as she blushed furiously while explaining that her school didn't offer AP courses. Why should she be embarrassed about her intelligence? Did she not realize that a girl with intelligence was by far the most beautiful? Damnit. My hatred towards her was completely off base. I should've known better than to think Alice would try and hook me up with some ditzy bimbo. Because she wasn't either of those. She was gorgeous and smart, a dangerous combination. I could not be in this room with her anymore because I might give in and try to get to know her. Like I said before, I could not let myself get distracted. And she was the perfect distraction for me.

So it was all I could do to not flee from the room right then. I handed her the paper Carlisle requested and left the room as quickly as I could without actually running. I heard my dad yell after me, but I didn't care. I had to get out and I had to do something to forget about Bella.

But when I got to my room I discovered I had no desire to do anything but think about Bella. I found myself recalling details I had tried to shut out. She was so beautiful. Her silky brown hair smelled of strawberries (something I had noticed when I caught her) and made the perfect frame for a stunning face. Her amazing eyes were chocolate colored but with the most subtle flicks of gold, which created a mesmerizing effect. Her lips were a captivating natural pink and looked good enough to taste. As I remembered the feel of her body in my arms, I silently thanked Alice for the choice in clothes. They hugged her curves in all the right places.

Damnit. What the hell am I going to do about this ever growing attraction to Bella? I had no choice but to ignore her. Maybe then I could forget her and get back to focusing on med school.

* * *

**so another thing, i don't know which you'd prefer: longer chapters that maybe get updated every other to a few days apart, or shorter chapters that come more often. because i'd like to say i'll update every day (which obviously this time didn't happen) but in all honestly i can't say that. you gotta understand i like writing everything down in a notebook first and then transfer it to a comp. somehow it just helps me think and flow better. i'll try super hard to update often because i know how impatient i get with a story i like, and if you guys really do like it, then i wanna do this for you!**


	5. Chapter 5

**K, so it's lucky that my baby girl is up, fussy from teething, or i wouldn't have gotten this out tonight (or i guess this morning, since it's 1:30am) if there are lots of errors, please forgive me, i'm tired. oh and it's quite a long chapter. i kept meaning to cut it off at certain points, but i really wanted to get out all of this. and tho i had previously written it down, i found myself adding little tidbits here and ther.**

**also, you'll notice bella's slightly ooc, so before anyone gets upset thinking that bella would never offer to go clubbing, the whole point is that bella wants to try new things and reinvent herself. **

**As always, reviews are welcom, whether it's just to comment or to critique. i seriously love reading them. thanks to all of you guy who reviewed and alerted!**

* * *

By the time I reached my dorm room I was fuming and on the verge of tears. I couldn't help it. I tried to stop myself but thoughts of this Edward person kept creeping up. I was so disappointed, hurt, confused, you name it. He was so beautiful and of course I let my mind wander through possibilities of the two of us. I knew these "possibilities" were in fact impossible. He was way too good looking for me and it's not just that I wasn't that attractive. I must've disgusted him, or at least that's how he looked at me, and it really hurt.

And what was with him trying to switch labs? I tried rationalizing the fact that it couldn't be about me. He didn't even know me. Yet the death glares he kept throwing my way seemed too coincidental, as did the fact that once I entered Prof Cullen's office, he tried his hardest to get out as soon as possible. I couldn't get my mind around it. I had never been treated this way before.

I threw open the door, wishing desperately to be alone. Unfortunately, luck was not on my side; Alice was there. I started to yell before I even really looked at her.

"What the hell Alice? You couldn't have mentioned the fact that your brother was our TA? What were you trying to do? A little advanced warning about his attitude would've been nice. Did you see how he was looking at me? If looks could kill I'd be six feet under by now. And all because we were late?" Then I saw her face. Silent tears were trickling down her face. "Oh Alice, I'm sorry for yelling. I shouldn't take it out on you. It's not your fault your brother is an asshole. I just don't understand why you didn't tell me he was our TA."

She shook her head slowly. "Bell, it _is_ my fault. Completely, 100 my fault. I should've told you. But when I met you, I just knew." She paused for a second before continuing. "I just knew you were different, special. And I knew, or at least I thought I knew, that you would be perfect for Edward." I really didn't have much of an idea as to her reasons for keeping her brother's identity a secret. Even still, I would never have expected that for an explanation.

"Alice, what the hell are you talking about?"

"Bella, you don't understand the situation fully. I love Edward dearly, and he's a good guy, really he is. But he is so incomplete. His whole life he's been so focused and dedicated on accomplishing this goal to be a doctor just like our dad. He's kept himself guarded from experiencing any kind of real romance, out of fear of being distracted. And while he's always been a good brother and happy, I've never seen him joyful. Our whole family feels he's missing the most important thing in his life: love."

I still could not figure out where I fit in to all of this. But as if she could read my mind, Alice continued.

"Edward's dated plenty of girls, but none of them had much substance to them. And when you and I were talking and getting to know each other, I realized you are the perfect girl for him. You have the looks, the brain, the sense of humor, and the brutal honesty a person like Edward needs."

"You left out the most important thing Alice." She looked puzzled. "My ability to trip over thin air." She couldn't help it. She smiled weakly and let out the smallest of giggles. "But seriously Alice, be real."

"I am being real. You obviously don't see yourself clearly, but I do. You and Edward would be perfect. And I fucked it up. I know he felt an attraction to you. I know my brother. But now I think he realized my plans for hooking you up and will do all he can to keep it from happening, even if it means being an ass. Bella, what can I do to make this up to you?"

As much as I had dreamed about Edward the past few days, I knew how to answer her.

"Just leave it alone Alice. That's what you can do. Promise you won't try to get us together. We don't even need to talk about him unless it's important to class or something to do with your family." That definitely surprised Alice. But she nodded her head so fiercely I knew she'd keep her promise.

"I think I'll go email Renee now that our internet is up and working. I haven't had a chance yet and I'm sure she's exploding from the anticipation of an email."

I put on my headphones and set my ipod to shuffle. Tegan and Sara's "Walking with a Ghost" began playing. Even though the song is upbeat, it helped ease and relax me. Music always did have a cathartic effect on me. So as I felt myself let go of all the tension from the day's events, I opened all 20 of Renee's emails. I quickly scanned through them, noticing the slight panic build in each one.

_Mom,_

_Hey, sorry it's taken so long to email, it took awhile to get the internet set up in my room. So far everything is going great. I have a truck; thanks to John and Jan (did Charlie tell you that?). And I have the most amazing roommate, Alice. She's a lot of fun and I think you'd like her._

"Of course she would, what's not to like?" Ah, Alice was back in her normal mood.

_Her dad is one of my professor's. Can you believe it? And her brother Emmett is super nice and helped me and Charlie bring all my stuff in. You should see him, Mom. He's huge! But really nice. Like a giant teddy bear. Oh and she has another brother that goes here too._

_Classes are going well. But it's only the first week so keep your fingers crossed!_

_Lots of love,_

_Bella_

I hope she didn't notice my lack of detail on Edward. I wasn't even planning on mentioning him, but I had started talking about her family and it just slipped in.

As I finished the email, "Shut Up and Let Me Go" by The Ting Tings was on my ipod. All of a sudden, without really thinking, I said three words to Alice I never thought I'd hear leave my mouth.

"Let's go dancing." I thought Alice would faint from the shock, but she recovered quickly.

"What brought that on?"

"Well, I was listening to The Ting Tings and the beat really got me excited to dance. Plus I've never been to a club before. That wasn't really my scene in high school. But I want to experience new things, ya know?" The smile she threw my way looked almost devilish.

"But I thought you were a klutz. How will you dance?"

"Oh. Well, I can't dance, at least not in the traditional sense. But I can grind it Alice. That I am sure of!" Wow. I didn't know where this confidence came from, but I was liking it. Time for the new and improved Bella to introduce herself to the world.

"Alice, you know what to do. Just think of me as your life sized Barbie and do with me what you will." Alice looked like she had died and gone to heaven.

* * *

**EPOV**

I was still thinking about Bella, which was becoming more and more dangerous for my sanity, when Emmett came home from class.

"Eddie! How's it hangin' bro?"

"Short, shriveled, and always to the left." I replied with a grin. I knew that response would crack Emmett up. He loved Jim Carey in _Liar Liar_. Sure enough, he was rolling on the ground, laughing his ass off.

"Damn, little bro, you're in a good mood. What's up, get some action or something?" was I in a good mood? Hm. I was thinking about Bella too hard to notice. So I wonder what caused me to be so excited?

Just then Emmett's phone rang.

"Speak to me." He recited as he answered. "Oh what's up little one?" There was a pause as Emmett listened to who I could only assume was Alice, by his "little one" comment. "Yeah that sounds like a blast. I'll call Rosalie and tell her…Wait, what did you say?" I heard my name through the phone.

"What about me?!" I was getting curious.

"Damn Edward, how did you develop such super human hearing?" But he turned back to his conversation with Alice. "Yeah, he heard his name." There was an extremely long pause this time. "Well, I don't think I can_not_ tell him now…K, but what do I tell him?...Oh thanks for the help…K, see you soon. Bye"

"Em, what was that all about?"

"Well, Alice called up to see if me and Rose wanted to go clubbing with her and Jasper and…"

"Oh, so she thought I wouldn't want to go too?"

"No, it's not that." Emmett looked nervous.

"You don't gotta lie, Em. I know she thinks I can be frigid sometimes. But I want to go." This was the perfect opportunity to forget about Bella.

"Ok, yeah but that's not it Edward. Listen…"

"Emmett, seriously, don't worry about it. I'm looking forward to a little fun tonight. You better hurry and call Rose. You know it takes her hours to get ready. I gotta go run some errands but I'll be back and ready to go by the time we need to leave." And with that I headed toward the door to leave.

"Uh..ok. But Edward?"

I turned around to face him. "Yeah?"

"Oh…just…see ya later." Weird. Whatever, tonight should be really helpful to my increasing problem.

* * *

I was starting to regret my allowance of playing Bella Barbie. Alice had been crazy enough when dressing me for class. Now she was in a frenzy looking through all our clothes to find the perfect outfit. I think she ws having a hard time finding the perfect clubbing outfit because all my wardrobe really consisted of were jeans, shirts and a couple of skirts and nicer tops. None of which would pass Alice's critical judgement.

"That's it!" She suddenly exclaimed. "Tomorrow we are going on a much needed shopping trip. No exceptions!" I just sighed and let it go, for now.

She turned all of her attention to her own closet, probably desperate at this point. Seeing how she was a good 4-5 inches shorter than me, I doubted there'd be anything in there that would fit me.

"Hmm…I wonder." Before I had a chance to ask, Alice pulled out an amazing dress. I was hardly the kind of girl who liked getting all dolled up. But this dress made me want to actually put it on and strut my stuff (at least what stuff I had.). It had a square neck and barely there cap sleeves that made my arms look especially toned. The skirt of the dress was wide and banded, making the rest of the dress have a blouson shape. Best of all, or worst considering your perspective, was the color. It was an emerald color, the exact shade of Edward's. seeing that color instantly sent images of that rude, arrogant, stupid, intelligent, incredibly handsome man. 

My breathing quickened as I pictured Edward seeing me in the dress. I'm pretty sure Alice was clueless to why I was hyperventilating, because she tried to convince me to wear it, as if I needed that.

"Don't worry Bella, it'll look amazing on you. I know it'll fit like a glove." She handed it over, anxiously awaiting my reaction. As I undressed somewhat self consciously, Alice noticed my underwear.

"Bella, you can't wear granny panties and a sports bra with a dress like this! Don't you have anything sexier?" I hesitated for a minute, afraid to explain _why _I had sexy lingerie in my possession.

"Uh yeah…I can put that on." Alice peered over my shoulder as I tried to quickly grab the bra and panty set I'd never worn. I heard a gasp come from right next to me. All of a sudden, my hands were empty as I turned and saw Alice flit away with the lingerie in hers. How did she move so fast?

"_Where_ did you get these?" She held up a violet lacy thong with a matching demi bra. I had tried it on just once before and blushed as I remembered it barely even covered my nipples. She was clearly shocked that I owned them, as she should be. I was even shocked.

"Um..They were a present."

"From WHO?" Crap. I knew this question was unavoidable, but a girl can hope right?

"My ex boyfriend." Judging by her expression, Alice wasn't expecting that answer.

"Who? What? Where? When? How?" She was flustered and at a loss for words, for once.

"Listen, I promise to explain everything, but later ok? Please." I pleaded when I saw her expression. "It's not exactly my favorite thing to talk about and I don't want to ruin my mood for the night ok? Remember, first time clubbing? Kind of a big deal." I could almost hear the internal struggle Alice was facing. To question or not to question?

"Ok, but you _will _tell me. Now, change underwear and put that dress on." I made Alice turn away as I stripped completely naked. I was still shy about being naked around anyone. But Alice made me promise to show her how I looked with the panty set. So when I was covered up, sort of, I told her it was safe to turn back around.

"Damn Bella, you look S-E-X-X-Y. If I didn't love Jasper, I might think of playing for the other team for awhile" I was burning from the heat on my face by now.

"Shut up Alice." She was in hysterics.

"But seriously, that's hot. Now for the dress. You can't very well go to a club like that. Though I'm sure none of the guys there would mind. If you did."

So I slipped the dress on as quickly as I could. Alice was right. It _did_ fit like a glove, incredibly tight to my lover half, though it only reached me mid thigh.

"Wow, Bella. You look perf…Wait, we're missing the most crucial part of the outfit, SHOES!"

"Ok, now I _know_ our shoe sizes are different. There's nothing in that closet I could wear."

Alice's eyes gleamed as she thought of something. She quickly dove under her bed and pulled out a box with the name Jimmy Choo on it. I may not be fashion forward but I recognized that name at least. And that name meant expensive.

"Alice, what? No."

"Bella, listen. I found these shoes _on sale_. And I loved them. But they didn't have my size. I got them anyway knowing I'd find a use for them. Plus, they're perfect! You'll see what I mean." She opened the box to reveal a pair of peep toed pumps in the exact shade of the lingerie I was wearing.

"Wow." They were a soft sued with a small detail of snake skin by the toe. I tried them on and they fit. I felt like Cinderella trying on the glass slipper. Now I needed a prince to go with them.

"They're yours now, you know?" she smiled and went to work on my hair and makeup.

We finally finished getting ready. Alice was beyond gorgeous in a black sweetheart necked bubble tube dress. Her shocking pink heels looked like weapons. If any guy pissed her off all she had to do was take one off and stab him.

"So Alice, where to?" I asked as we headed out our room. I was starting to get nervous, doubting my ability to dance in a dress and shoes like these. As it is, I was walking slower than normal, trying to avoid a fall on my ass, or even worse, my face.

"Oh we're going to The Underground. It's supposed to be pretty chic, plus my old friend James is a bartender, so you know we won't have a problem getting drinks. Oh and tonight is their old school night, so we'll be dancing to music from the 80s and 90s. Fun huh?" I didn't feel like now was the time to reveal the secret that I had never drank before. "Oh, you should probably not mention James to my brothers, or Jasper as a matter of fact. They don't like him for whatever reason."

"Oh, ok. Sounds good. How are we getting there?"

"We'll be riding with Em and Rose in his car." As we got near the parking lot I noticed we were heading towards a bright orange Hummer. What a monster of a "car." Why does anyone need something like that? Alice noticed my expression.

"I know, it's a bit much huh? But Em's motto has always been 'go big or go home.' Oh crap, what the hell Emmett?" She whispered the last part more to herself than anything.

I noticed not three but four figures standing next to the Hummer. As we got nearer, I recognized them to be Emmett, Rosalie, Jasper, and none other than Edward.

"Oh, hell Alice. Remember how you were supposed to warn me?"

"Well..ok, here's the thing. I guess when I called Emmett to invite him and Rose, Edward overheard. I told Em to make sure he didn't come. He apparently didn't do a good job at that. I'm sorry." She did look sorry. I guess I'd just have to ignore him the whole night.

I didn't want to look at Edward, knowing I'd probably just embarrass myself. So I looked at Emmett, Rosalie and Jasper. They all looked so amazing. Emmett was wearing dark, almost black jeans that probably were meant to be loose fitting. But with the size of Emmett's legs, there was no way that would be possible. He had a simple white button up shirt. Nice and casual but still amazing on him.

Rosalie was wearing a strapless dress in a blood red color. It was tight fitting on top and flared out around her hips, just accentuating her perfect figure. Her black stilettos had ribbons that tied up her ankle. How the hell can anyone dance in shoes like that? I had been thinking I looked pretty good until I saw model Rosalie here. I began feeling pretty plain again.

Jasper was quite dashing in simple black trousers and a pale blue shirt that brought out the color of his eyes and made his golden locks look even sexier. He was more formally dressed than Emmett, but looked just as at ease in the outfit.

I decided a quick peek at Edward couldn't hurt. Just one curious glance, I told myself. But as I shifted my attention to his body, I found it impossible to look away. He was wearing black pants with the slightest grey pinstripe detail. They were straight legged and fit nicely. I knew if he turned around I'd see how nice they fit on his ass. It reminded me of the first time I had seen him. He wore a black button up shirt with the sleeves rolled up messily and the first few buttons undone. I could almost see his chest muscles from the small opening. Though the pieces he wore were formal, he wore them so naturally like he'd just put on the first things his hands had touched. And on top of that, he dressed the outfit down with simple black Chuck Taylors.

I knew I had been staring so I hesitantly looked up at his face to see if he had caught me. I was already working up a blush to my face at the thought. But when I looked at Edward, I noticed him staring at my body. His eyes were slightly bugged out. When he noticed me catching him in the act of staring he tried to compose his face into a mask of indifference. I noticed his face flush a slight pink.

Jasper immediately rushed to Alice's side to greet her in a lover's embrace. I felt like I was intruding, so I walked closer to Emmett's ride (I had a hard time calling it a car when it was clearly much more than that.). Rose and Emmett were deep in conversation. That left just Edward and me.

"Bella, right?" I was too busy memorizing that smooth, velvety voice to notice he was talking to me. "Um..Hi. I just wanted to formally introduce myself, since the first time didn't really…go well." He took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. "I'm Edward. It's nice to meet you." He stared at me expectantly.

"Oh. I'm _sorry_. Were you talking to _me_? Only I figured someone like you wouldn't waste time on someone like me. And I wish I could say the same about meeting you." I tried to reply with as much ice in my voice as possible.

Edward was stunned into silence. The shock quickly turned into anger. "Well, forgive me for trying to be polite." He just sat and stared daggers at me so I decided to quickly turn on my heel and close the distance between myself and Emmett's Hummer. Just when I thought I'd made a dramatic exit, my heel caught in a crack in the pavement and I started to fall forward. I groaned inwardly. Not now! I closed my eyes and put my hands out bracing for the inevitable fall. But just like the first time I had met Edward, he caught me before I could hit the ground. I was about to thank him but his words made me bite my tongue.

"Maybe you should work on watching where you're walking." He looked annoyed now. "You might not fall quite so much then." Oh no he did not say that.

"And maybe you should work on not being such an arrogant ass."

I heard Alice laugh and shout "woohoo!" in my direction. I hadn't realized our little interaction had drawn a crowd.

"You go Bella!" came Emmett's booming voice.

"Et tu, Emmett?" Edward just glared at his brother, who smiled sheepishly at him.

"Well, it's not every day we get to hear a girl talk back to you Edward. Usually they just drop their pants at the mere sound of your voice, even if you are being an ass."

I could not believe Rosalie had the guts to say that to him. He was fuming and I could almost see the steam coming out of his ears, he was so pissed.

At this point I just desperately wanted to escape inside to the safety of Emmett's car. I reached for the door but it wouldn't open.

"It's locked." Edward's voice sounded even sexier when angry, if that's even possible.

"Thanks for the heads up," I said sarcastically. I just stood facing the car door, too embarrassed and angry to look towards the group,

I felt a warm hand on my shoulder. The thumb on the hand gently caressed my bare skin. Though the contact was warm, a small shiver ran down my spine.

"I'm sorry." I heard Edward whisper. It figures that his skin on mine would affect me so intensely. I turned to look at him. The saddest expression played across his face. "I am an ass. You really should just ignore me. It's probably best that way."

"And what the hell does that mean?"

Edward opened his mouth, about to respond, when Emmett called for everyone's attention.

"Ok, so before we leave we just need to figure out our designated driver for the night. Suggestions?"

I would've volunteered had we been driving something other than the Hummer. My truck was big, but it was also ancient, and much much less expensive than the Hummer. I didn't need to worry about finding a driver though because everyone, besides Edward, shouted simultaneously.

"Edward!"

"What the fuck guys?"

"Oh Edward, we're just thinking of you. Someone as focused as you shouldn't have to worry about a hangover to _distract_ him." Alice sneered at him.

"Fine, but that means I drive."

"Well, duh," came Emmett's response.

"Oh not just back. But there too. It's my right as designated driver." Emmett started to argue but after awhile gave in. He didn't want to be stuck as driver for the night. So he tossed the keys to Edward and yelled "shot gun!" He sounded like a ten year old kid. Rosalie opened the back door and everyone climbed in. I noticed it only sat 5.

"How are we gonna all fit?"

"Don't worry Bella. We'll squeeze in. The three of us girls are small and thank God Jasper isn't as big as Emmett!" Alice laughed from inside the car.

I realized that I was going to have a hard time getting up in a dress as tight as this one was around my thighs. I took a quick glance around to make sure no one was watching, hiked up my dress a bit and tried lifting myself up to get in. One leg was up on the step, but as I started to pull myself up, I heard a gasp come from behind me, turned to look, and saw Edward staring at my ass. Apparently I didn't look well enough.

A slight breeze hit my bare skin and I realized, too late, that I hiked my skirt up a bit too much. I was flashing Edward my ass. Shit. I started feeling self conscious and lost my grip on the car.

Again, before I could fall, Edward was there to catch me.

"Maybe I should charge a fee to follow you around and make sure you don't fall every five minutes." He laughed as he hoisted me up into Emmett's Hummer. Still chuckling, Edward got in the driver's seat and pulled out of the parking lot.

I noticed him look at me in the rearview mirror every once in awhile, his eyes dancing with laughter. Every time I caught him looking I sighed in annoyance. It only caused a fresh round of laughter to come out of his mouth. The fact that he looked so sexy when he laughed only made me even angrier.


	6. Chapter 6

**So, i hope you can indulge me a little bit with the first part of the chapter. i listen to music to help me sleep and i must've drifted off to bohemian rhapsody because i dreamt about this part. i had to write it down. i crack up every time i think of it. so sorry if you dn't like it. but i hope you find it as entertaining as i do. **

**music is indicated by italicized...oh and the songs are older, obviously because they're at old school night. i also realize, that by their age, the cullens and bella probably wouldn't know the songs that well, but they're all ones i love. sorry if you don't recognize them. i'll put a list of them at the end.**

**if you like the chap, please review so i don't feel like an idiot for putting it in. if you don't, still review so i know not to do it again.**

**oh and i'm not stephenie meyer**

* * *

We hadn't been driving for very long when I heard a song come on the radio that I recognized.

_Is this the real life _

"Oh my God!" Alice and Rosalie squeeled in delight.

_Is it just fantasy_

"Oh no." I heard Edward groan

_Caught in a landslide_

_No escape from reality _

"OH YEAH!" Jasper and Emmett were shouting in delight

"What the hell is going on?" I demanded

"Well, one night we were all hanging out watching Wayne's World and I decided it would be fun if we learned the words to Bohemian Rhapsody so we could rock out to it. Now everytime it comes on we HAVE to sing along with it. Best of all, we make Edward sing the lead part because he gets so embarrassed by it." Alice was shaking with silent laughter.

"What?"

"Just listen. You'll see what I mean. He has to sing. We made a promise." Jasper starting moving his fingers as if playing a piano while Alice and Rosalie began swaying gently to the beat.

_Mama, just killed a man_

_Put a gun against his head_

_Pulled my trigger now he's dead_- I had to struggle to keep my jaw from becoming unhinged; it dropped that quickly. I thought his speaking voice had been sexy. But Edward's singing voice was unbelievable. How could one man sound so incredibly good?

_Mama, life had just begun_

_But now I've gone and thrown it all away_

_Mama, ooo, didn't mean to make you cry_

_If I'm not back again this time tomorrow_

_Carry on, carry on, as if nothing really matters_

I could tell Edward was trying not to enjoy himself. The corner of his lips kept twitching up playfully. He looked up at me through the mirror, this time not being able to keep the smile down. By the time the second verse started, Edward was really getting into it.

_Too late, my time has come,_

_Sends shivers down my spine_

_Body's aching all the time_

_Goodbye everybody, I've got to go_

_Gotta leave you all behind and face the truth_- God his voice was even hotter when he growled out the words

_Mama, ooo, _Alice and Rose joined in with _any way the wind blows_

_I don't wanna die_

_I sometimes wish I'd never been born at all._

Emmett began playing air guitar like a pro. He must have practiced this a lot to get the timing down so perfectly. I looked over at Alice and saw her start to bounce in her seat. She was impatiently waiting the next part of the song.

_I see a little silhouetto of a man_

Now everyone in the car was singing. -_Scaramouche, scaramouche, will you do the fandango_

_Thunderbolts and lightning, very, very frightening, me_

_Galileo _(came the girls)_, Galileo _(then the boys)

_Galileo, Galileo_

_Galileo Figaro, magnifico_

_I'm just a poor boy nobody loves me_

_He's just a poor boy from a poor family_

_Spare him his life from this monstrosity _–I smirked at that. Edward was anything but poor, and I doubt his life was a monstrosity. From what I'd gathered, he lived a life with many pleasures

_Easy come easy go will you let me go_

_Bismilah! No! we will not let you go, let him go_- the rest of the car responded every time Edward asked "let me go"

_Bismilah! No! we will not let you go, let him go_

_Bismilah! We will not let you go, let him go_

_Will not let you go, let me go_

_Will not let you go, let me go_

_No, no, no, no, no, no, no_

_Mama mia, mama mia, mama mia let me go_

_Beelzebub has a devil set aside for him, for me, for me! _They were all freakishly in harmony, like an absurd version of the Partridge family…wait, was that Edward hitting the high note? Holy shit!

With that, everyone started head banging very enthusiastically

"C'mon Bella!" I heard Alice shout over the music. "This is all you!" she pointed at me and I felt a surge of confidence as I stared at Edward's reflection in the mirror and directed my words to him.

_So you think you can stone me and spit in my eye_

_So you think you can love me and leave me to die_

_Oh, baby, can't do this to me baby_

_Just gotta get out, just gotta get right outta hear_

I saw Edward look up at me while I sang. I noticed his eyes darken and his smile turn into a grimace. As the tempo slowed, I noticed a significant change in Edward's mood. He looked down right depressed and forlorn.

_Nothing really matters, _

_Anyone can see_

_Nothing really matters, nothing really matters to me_

Alice and Rosalie practically whispered the last part.

_Any way the wind blows_

When the song had finished, everyone cheered like crazy. Edward tried to look happy with the rest but I could tell he was faking it.

I was pretty proud of myself though. I'd never really sang like that in front of anyone before.

"Damn, Bella. That was fucking awesome! You could give Eddie here a run for his money!" I laughed at Edward as he cringed at Rosalie for using his unfortunate nickname.

"Oh and what am I, chopped liver?"

* * *

We had finally reached The Underground and I was feeling a bit guilty, thinking I had hurt Edward's feelings. I mean, he _had _tried to apologize and I used the song to basically call him out on being a jerk.

"Wow, the line to get in is insanely long. It'll be morning before we even get in!"

"Please, Bella. We do not wait in lines."

We got out of the car and I saw Rosalie and Alice start strutting their stuff towards the bouncer, the guys falling behind. Alice roughly pulled me up with them in the front.

"Just look sexy, not like it'll be hard for you." Alice winked.

"Hey there hot stuff." Rosalie giggled at the bouncer and I was sure her lame ass line would be so obvious to him.

"Well hey there to you too. You ladies ready for a good night?" He lifted the rope out of the way and stepped aside. We walked in quickly, the boys in tow.

As my eyes and ears adjusted to the sights and sounds around me, I recognized Salt n Peppa's "Push It" playing.

"Oh my God! I haven' heard this song in ages." We all moved to the dance floor and started dancing. Thankfully Alice and Rose decided to dance with me instead of their significant others or I'd feel really uncomfortable with just Edward.

"Hey guys, I'm gonna go find a table for us." I heard Edward yell over the music.

"We'll come with." Emmett and Jasper shouted at the same time. I guess they didn't know what to do with themselves while we danced. I could feel the stares of people all around us, probably the horny guys turned on by girl on girl action.

When the song ended, we decided to go find the boys. We finally spotted them and sat down to rest for awhile.

"So, drinks anyone?" Alice chimed in. "Bella, will you help me?"

"Um, sure."

"Get us a couple pitchers and shots please!" Emmett yelled out after us.

We walked to the bar. I know Alice wanted to keep the fact that James worked here a secret.

"Ok, let's see…Oh hey James!" She waved her hands frantically, successfully getting his attention.

"Well hello Alice. Who's your sexy little friend?" He eyed me and I felt violated. Besides the mental undressing, he looked at me like I was a piece of meat.

"James, meet Bella. Bella, James." I said hi quickly and brought the conversation back to drinks.

"Alright James, ya know you wanna hook it up. Please?" She unleashed her full powers of persuasion. Her lips pouted out and her eyes got as big as saucers. She even leaned forward a bit, giving him a better view of her chest.

"Here," he said while handing us a tray of drinks. "It's on the house." He turned to me then. "Bella, it was a pleasure. I hope I'll be seeing you soon." He winked and turned around to help some other group.

"Damn, Alice, it's not very nice or fair to flirt boys into submission."

"Lighten up Bella. He knows I'm off limits. You, however, he couldn't get enough of." I blushed but shrugged it off.

We got back to the table and set the drinks down.

"I propose a toast!" Emmett grabbed a shot glass with what I think was tequila. "To new friendships!" He raised his glass up and well all followed suit. There was a clink of glass then I watched as everyone downed their liquor. I briefly sniffed at it before throwing it back. It burned and I tried to cover up the cough that was digging into my throat. Jasper seemed to notice though.

"First time drinking?" I smiled weakly at him and he chuckled quietly. "Just be careful. They kind of sneak up on you."

We chatted for a bit more, drinking casually, when someone walked towards the table holding a drink.

"From the bar, on the house." The girl handed me a glass with bright orange liquid inside. It smelled fruity. I turned and saw James wink at me again and wave. I waved back and everyone at the table turned to see who I was greeting.

"What the hell is he doing here?" Edward sounded severely annoyed.

"Alice, is this your connection? You know I can't stand him!" Jasper looked jealous and irritated.

"Don't worry Jazz, he's not gonna bother us. He's just being friendly."

"I'm not so sure of that Alice." Emmett looked at her skeptically. "Did you see how he was eyeing Bella? He's got her in his sights now."

"Don't drink it Bella." Edward's voice rang with authority.

"Yes _Father_." I stated sarcastically. I took a sip and enjoyed the fruity flavor. I couldn't even taste any alcohol in it. That was nice of James to send me something non-alcoholic. He must've sensed my awkwardness around liquor and sent it over. I smile and once more waved a thanks to him. Edward's frown deepened as he stared at my drink.

After awhile, Edward stated he was bored, excused himself and left

"Probably going to look for his next victim." Emmett laughed.

"Shut up, Em." Rosalie smacked him on the back of his head. Alice grimaced but true to her word, said nothing about Edward.

"Well, I'm bored. Let's go dance!" I really wanted to enjoy myself. Plus I think that shot was starting to have an effect on me. Is it possible to get drunk off one shot? We all got up to dance. I felt a little out of place, being the odd man out, but I didn't want that to bring me down. I was content to just dance by myself.

En Vogue's "Never Gonna Get It" started playing and I couldn't help but get into the song. I used to love it. As I got more and more into the song, I saw some girl walk up to me with a drink in her hands.

"Compliments of the bar." She smirked at me and walked away. Wow, James was trying a little too hard. The drink was a light green this time. I sipped it and tasted apple.

"Mmm."

"Is that another one from James?" Rosalie eyed it speculatively.

"And if it is?" I smiled lazily. Why do I feel so drunk? Oh God. "What kind of drink is this?"

"By the looks of it, an appletini." Alice sniffed at it. "And by the smell of it, heavy on the vodka and apple schnapps." So he wasn't being nice. He was trying to get me drunk, the skeez.

I scanned the club trying to locate James so I could avoid him. I couldn't see him, but I did see Edward frowning in my direction. I saw a skanky looking girl all over him. I turned away quickly, surprised at the jealousy I felt coursing through me. I know he was still an ass, but I thought I had seen a bit of the real Edward in the car ride up here. Guess not.

_I wonder if she can tell I'm hard right now._

Emmett it's our song!" Rosalie grabbed Emmett closer to her as "Too Close" started playing. She pulled him closer to her which I thought was physically impossible. They started grinding into each other. I almost felt like a voyeur watching them. If there hadn't been clothes in the way, they'd be having sex right here on the dance floor. I guess that was the point.

Alice and Jasper soon followed Emmett's and Rose's lead. I decided I didn't care, I was going to dance by myself. The alcohol was definitely filling me with an ego boost. I started running my hands up and down my body while gyrating my hips. It felt so liberating to be dancing like this. I felt sexy even if I wasn't with a guy.

All of a sudden someone came up behind me, pressing his obvious erection into me.

"Hey baby, can you feel that?" Ew. I turned around and glared at the disgusting man who had approached.

"You're pathetic."

"Oh baby, don't be that way. You got me all worked up dancing like that. The least you could do is help me out with my little problem."

"You're right. It _is_ a little problem." I leaned closer to him. His eyes were wide with excitement; he obviously didn't get the cut down. But before he could even put his hands on me, I kneed him in the groin. He instantly doubled over in pain.

"You BITCH!" I just laughed and walked away, still looking back at the idiot when I bumped into _him._ I knew it was Edward because I recognized his smell; it was something I couldn't really describe. He smelled almost sweet.

"Bella?" His voice sounded surprised but I could tell from his eyes that he had seen me coming.

"Edward." It was a good thing I was already flushed from the alcohol. I didn't want to blush over him anymore.

"Ahem." The girl wrapped around Edward looked irate.

"Oh…yes..Bella, this is Jessica." He looked really uncomfortable, which was highly amusing.

"Well, don't let me keep you any longer." I was about to walk away.

"No, you're fine. Stay if you'd like." Jessica looked pissed at those words. Edward just stared me down; a pleading look asking to be rescued.

The sober Bella would've left him to fend for himself. The drunk Bella wanted Edward all to herself, to have her way with him. But I'm not drunk, I thought to myself. Unfortunately my body said otherwise. I swayed a little and started to slump to the side.

"Bella, are you ok?"

"Yeah, just a little dizzy I guess."

"Jessica, I'm sorry," he sounded anything but sorry, "but I need to go take care of my friend here." Edward grabbed my arm and started pulling me away with him. Jessica stood there stupefied that Edward had just left her there.

Once we were out of sight I pulled my arm roughly away from him.

"So now we're friends?" I sounded incredulous.

"If you'd like to be. I know I would."

"But what about earlier?"

"Well I wasn't lying." I couldn't tell what his eyes were trying to convey to me. "It would be smarter to leave things be."

"Smarter for who?"

"Me." He smiled at me, but it was different. The right side of his mouth lifted up a bit more, making it look slightly crooked…and perfect. I have never seen him smile like that before. Good thing too because it made me feel dizzy just looking at him…or was that the alcohol working?

"So…" He trailed off, thinking about something. "What did that guy say to you that warrented a knee to the groin?"

"He asked if I could 'feel that' while pressing up behind me."

Edward had a look of disgust on his face. "What a pervert."

"I know. If he wanted to dance he should've just asked."

"Would you have said yes?" I shrugged. "I wonder…would you say yes if _I _asked you to dance?"

"No…well…" He flashed his teeth at me in a smile. He obviously saw my resistance crumbling around me. "Oh fine then." That crooked smile I was growing to love appeared as he grabbed my hand and led me out to dance.

_My mind's tellin me no_

_But my body, my body's tellin me yes._

I groaned. Why this song of all songs? Why now?

I must've groaned a little too loudly because I saw the right side of Edward's mouth smirk up even higher than before. It caused the slight crookedness to be even more prominent. God I bet he could get away with murder with a smile like that.

_I don't see nothing wrong_

_With a little bump n grind_

I guess I didn't mind if it was with Edward. He pulled me closer to him, our bodies dangerously close. He put his hands on my hips and started swaying from side to side, moving me with him.

_I know just what you want_

_And I know just what you need girl_

_So baby bring your body to me_

_I'm not foolin around with you_

_Baby my love is true_

_With you is where I wanna be_

_Girl you need someone_

_Someone like me_

_To satisfy your every need_

Abandoning all reason and thought I closed the distance between our bodies. Our chests were pressed firmly together and it wasn't even close enough.

_You say he's not treatin you right_

_Lady spend the night_

_I'll love you like you need to be loved_

_Girl won't you try some of me_

_No need to look no more_

_Because I've opened up my door_

_You'll never want another love_

I was just about to wrap my arms tightly around him, when he took hold of my arm and twirled me around. I don't know what made him decide to change our positions. I found my back pressed against his chest. The nerves from our contact were getting to me when he grabbed my waist and pulled me so close my ass was firmly against his front. There was no way to deny his growing "problem." But it definitely didn't feel little.

Feeling how hard he was against me caused a subconscious reaction from my body. I began grinding into his erection.

I heard Edward loudly gasp, then softly moan and tighten his grip on my waist. I vaguely heard "Bump n Grind" fade out to be replaced by "Weak" an old school favorite of mine.

_I don't know what it is that you've done to me_

_But it's caused me to act in such a crazy way_- this is crazy, dancing with Edward like this

_Whatever it is that you do when you do what you're doing_

_It's a feeling I don't understand _–how can he treat me so poorly sometimes but so nicely at othertimes?

_Cuz my heart starts beating triple time_

_With thoughts of loving you on my mind_

_I can't figure out just what to do _

_When the cause and cure is you _–he really was too beautiful for me to handle

_I get so weak in the knees I can hardly speak_

_I lose all control then something takes over me_

_In a daze, you look so amazing_

_It's not a faze, I wan't you to stay with me_

_By my side, I'll swallow my pride_

_You're love is so sweet it knocks me right off of my feet_

_Can't explain why your lovin makes me weak._

I was in awe as Edward slowly ran one hand through my hair, burying his face in it at the same time. I wanted to say something, or turn around to look at him. Maybe I could read the expression on his face. But I started feeling really sluggish. My legs didn't want to move anymore.

The music started sounding fuzzy, almost like I had cotton in my ears. It became increasingly harder to keep my eyes open, until at last my lids shut and didn't open again. After that, there was nothing.

* * *

**So the songs were Next's "too close," R. kelly's "bump n grind" and SWV's "weak" i highly recommend you check em out if you get the opportunity to. and i know, it's freakishly long chapter. i hope you guys liked it!**

* * *


	7. Chapter 7

**Sorry it's taken forever for me to update. i've had a hectic schedule. i hope this crazy long chapter makes up for it. and hopefully you like edwards view on the night. **

**also, as i'm sure everyone knows, once aug 2 rolls around, i will be absent from here til i finish the book, which wouldn't normally be that long, but with work, and a husband and baby to take care of...well, hopefully it won't be that long. i doubt anyone will miss the updates tho, everyone will be doing the same thing. **

**oh and sorry for typos or errors, i was ina rush to get this out. as always, feel free to review and let me know what you think. i love them**

**and i'm not sm, and these characters are not mine.**

Epov

I had quite a bit to do before meeting up with the gang tonight for dancing. I could not shake the remorse I felt for being such a prick to Bella. I figured the reason I kept thinking about her was due to guilt for mistreating a lady. So I would do all I could to right the wrong, then my mind would be set free from torturous thoughts of her.

Let's see. What could I do to apologize adequately? Obviously, a card and gift of some sort, but what? Most girls would appreciate the normal: flowers, candy, jewelry. But Bella wasn't like most girls, that much I was sure of, and normal just wouldn't do.

I was walking to the UC when I realized I could use my access to students' information to good use. I had the ability to find out exactly what she would like. Because I was a TA, I had access to those students' schedules that were in my section. I could look at the classes she was taking and base what she would like off that.

I scanned through her classes, noticing many English courses. She must be an English major. Hmm..that didn't help that much. But on closer inspection I realized she had an emphasis in creative writing. So what would she like?

Doubting she'd want anything expensive or elaborate, I settled on something she'd need. I found a beautifully leather bound notebook. She could fill it with her stories. Though it was quite pricey for paper, it was nowhere near as expensive as some of the things I had considered purchasing for her.

When I arrived back at my room, I discovered Emmett had already left for Rosalie's. She probably wanted "help" picking out her outfit. It was fine by me. I needed the privacy, otherwise Emmett would undoubtedly question what I was doing. I didn't want him to jump to any false conclusions.

As I looked at the notebook, I suddenly felt like it wasn't enough. What does every writer need? Pen, paper, oh I know, inspiration. And what serves as better inspiration than music? I quickly turned on my laptop, willing it to boot up faster. I needed to hurry and make this cd so I'd still have time to write her an apology and get ready tonight. Hopefully I could find a way to meet up with her to give her the gifts before I left. That should be enough to make the guilt go away so I could have a good night.

My eyes scanned my playlist. I decided to burn a copy of several pieces I had learned to play, even a few I had composed myself. After several years of lessons, I had become a proficient pianist. I didn't play as often as I liked, school got in the way too much. When I get through med school I'll make time to play more. I really did enjoy it.

After finishing the cd, I wrote a note in the card I had got for her.

_Dear Bella,_

_Please forgive my rudeness earlier. I was having a bad day and took it out on you. I know it's not really a good excuse, but still._

_Please accept this gift as a token of my sincere regrets. I'm sure you'll put it to good use and I only hope the music serves as suitable inspiration to get your creative juices flowing._

There. That didn't sound too needy or pathetic, did it? I had a hard time closing out the letter. How do I end it? Love, sincerely? Your TA? Yours truly? Well I wasn't hers, but I did truly feel what I wrote. So I settled on just

_Truly, Edward Cullen_

Perfect. Now to get ready and find out where she lived. Unfortunately Emmett came walking through the doors then.

"Aren't you ready yet? We gotta go. Hey what's that?" He turned and noticed the wrapped items sitting on my bed. "Aw, it's not even my birthday, you shouldn't have Eddie!"

"Shut Em, it's not for you."

'Then who?"

"Not important. Weren't you saying something about us needing to go?"

"Oh yeah. Well come on then." He had a gleam in his eye. The kind that let me know something was up. But what?

We walked over to where Emmett had parked his car. I really never understood the need for a hummer. One time I joked that he was over compensating for his short comings. That had earned me such a hard punch in the gut, the wind was knocked out of me. Needless to say, I kept my comments to myself from then on.

I just assumed we'd be piling into the hummer, but Emmett and Rosalie stood to the side waiting. I saw Jasper walk over to us.

"So, just waiting for Alice then?" I was growing impatient.

"Yeah…and her roommate." Emmett admitted.

"Oh, the girl you wanted to set me up with." I smiled at him, realizing now why he had that mischievous look in his eyes earlier.

"Yeah…"

"What aren't you telling me Em?"

"You'll see." Great, I hate surprises.

I didn't have to wait long. I saw two figures approaching us. They stepped under a street lamp and I had to bite my tongue to keep from gasping aloud. There was Alice, walking side by side with none other than Bella. Bella was Alice's roommate? Shit.

I turned my glare on Emmett. I hadn't told him about Bella. But I'm sure Alice had. Looking back at his conversation with her, I'm sure she explained what had happened between Bella and me.

"Thanks Em." My voice was dripping with sarcasm.

I saw Bella pause mid stride and say something to Alice. She looked infuriated and I couldn't blame her. I treated her horribly.

As the two of them finally reached the rest of us, I saw more fully what Bella was wearing. My god she looked even more heavenly than before. Though I suppose angels shouldn't look quite so alluring.

Bella's hair was left down and had soft curls in it. Her long bangs swept casually to the side. I noticed they sometimes fell across her face and I had to resist the urge to push them back for her. She wore makeup; I'm sure thanks to Alice. The Bella I remembered had no makeup on, because she didn't need it. But the smoky eye and glistening pout of her lips just enhanced her natural beauty.

And the dress. That green was simply stunning on her. The way it hugged her thighs and slightly rode up her legs made me think indecent thoughts. Those heels just emphasized her slender smooth legs. Mmm. Images of what she was or was not wearing underneath the dress filled my mind. I felt a slight stiffening in my pants at the thought. Just then I looked back at her face, only to realize she had caught me practically molesting her with my eyes. How embarrassing.

I noticed I was alone; Jasper having gone to Alice and Rose and Em in their own little world. Bella started to walk by me. Now was as good a time as any to apologize. Too bad her present was in my room.

"Bella, right?" she didn't say anything. I noticed her eyes were slightly glazed over. I decided to reintroduce myself. I wanted to at least be civil with this girl. It took a lot of restraint to not just reach out and touch her. I let out a deep breath from the effort of calming myself down. But her comment sent my mind in a tailspin.

"Oh, I'm sorry, were you talking to me? Only I figured someone like you wouldn't waste time on someone like me. And I wish I could say the same." Did she have to sound so, so mean?

Forgetting that this was really all my fault, I let my pride get the best of me. I was losing my patience with this sweet, innocent creature.

"Well forgive me for trying to be polite."

Oh that did it. I heard her inhale sharply and turn to walk away from me. But her heel caught and she started to fall. I reached out to catch her. God, the feel of her in my arms again. My thoughts were entering the danger zone. I got frustrated at my lack of mental self control and unfortunately I took it out on her _again. _

"Maybe you should work on watching were you're walking. You might not fall quite so much then." I regretted the words as soon as they'd left my mouth. God, I'd hurt her again. I was a monster. But before she gave in to the hurt, she snarled back at me.

"And maybe you should work on not being such an arrogant ass." It hurt because it was true. Worst of all, everyone knew it, because my friends and even my family were cheering her on.

Bella looked slightly embarrassed from all the attention and praise she was receiving. She tried to get in Emmett's car. I almost laughed at her flustered expression.

"It's locked." Damnit, why can't I stop with the sarcasm?

"Thanks for the heads up." At least she could keep up. Still, I could tell she was hurting. She turned away from me and I couldn't help but reach out and touch her in some small attempt to comfort her. And I couldn't help but extend my thumb to touch even the smallest bit of her skin. It was so soft and luscious. Her warmth spread through my thumb all the way to the rest of my body.

I had to tell her. I wanted to be something to her, but how could I when I couldn't be there like she deserved? School was my #1 and I knew I couldn't devote my full attention to both. I tried to explain.

"And what the hell does that mean?" Bella looked confused.

Right as I was about to explain that she was the most beautiful being I had ever layed eyes on, Emmett brought up the issue of a designated driver.

I hated this part. I inevitably was chosen. Sure enough, they all shouted my name in agreement. Of course I complained. Alice's comment about helping me say focused shut me up. I knew she was referring to my reaction to Bella. At least I could drive there. With that in mind, I hurriedly ran to my car to grab my ipod while everyone else got in.

But as I got back to the hummer I noticed Bella was still not inside. She looked worried about climbing up. Her left leg ws delicately raised on the step. That's when I realized her skirt had hiked up, providing me with the loveliest view of her ass in a delicate purple colored thong. A small breeze swept through and Bella must've noticed the contact on her bare skin because she turned quickly and gaped at me. The movement, unfortunately, caused her to lose her balance. 

But I was there to catch her again. I was really beginning to enjoy being her own personal savior.

* * *

Why did this song have to come on now? I should've plugged in my ipod before we left. Alice would never let us forget our "promise" to play karaoke night with this song. I was annoyed and nervous to sing in front of Bella.

I couldn't keep myself from watching her reactions to my voice. I smirked at her expression. She ws impressed, I could tell. I decided to put a little more effort into it. Ok, so I was showing off for Bella, but I was also having fun.

Just when I thought she'd be able to forgive me, she looked up at me with fire in her eyes, beltin gout the next part of the song. Was she directing those words to me? I know I hadn't been very nice but those words cut me deep. She did have a beautiful voice, he sound of an angel singing, even if there was anger laced in tit. I would need to get a better gift. I vowed to be on my best behavior tonight. I'll show her how good a guy I am.

We were at the club finally and the girls were dancing. Bella moved with more grace here on the dance floor. I wondered if her klutziness would kick in. Emmett and Jasper looked at me, noticed my staring, and grinned like idiots.

"Hey guys, I'm gonna go find a table for us." I needed to get away from Bella. But I didn't want to hear Emmett's or Jasper's comments either. Maybe they will stay on the dance floor. Nope. They followed me.

"Damn, Eddie, you got it bad huh?"

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"Edward, I don't know what you're so afraid of. There's nothing wrong with falling for a girl. Just look at me and Alice. She's the best thing that's ever happened to me." I couldn't stop my eyes from rolling at his comment. I was about to tell him how whipped he sounded when the girls walked back to our table. They hadn't been there long when alice practically dragged Bella to the bar. I tried to not watch her as she walked away. I couldn't help it though, the way her hips switched as she walked put me in a trance.

Rosalie interrupted my thoughts. "She's quite the hottie, huh Edward?"

"Yeah." Shit. Did I say that out loud? I wasn't really paying attention, thus the lack of mental censorship. "I mean, yeah sure, I guess." I doubted I had covered up my mistake, but I had to try. Rose opened her mouth and was about to say something when Emmett silenced her with one look. He knew when to leave well enough alone.

Bella and Alice were on their way back to the table. Thank God Emmett put a stop to what would've been a very embarrassing conversation.

Emmett proposed a toast and all of us, except Bella, threw back our shot. I was watching her out of the corner of my eye. She seemed hesitant and it made me worry for her safety. Jasper leaned in to say something to Bella. I know he loves my sister and would never do anything to betray her trust, but as I took in his proximity to her beautiful body, I felt a twinge of jealousy.

Just when I thought all the negative emotions coursing through my body couldn't get any worse, some girl from the bar walked up and handed Bella a drink. Who did she know that would be sending drinks over? I didn't have to wait long for an answer, as I saw her turn to wave to none other than James.

I hated James. He was the lowest of the lows, the worst kind of guy. I never understood why Alice befriended him. He clearly wanted nothing more than to screw her senseless. The presence of jasper in Alice's life was clearly the only reason james never acted on any of his fantasies. But I knew they lay there in wait for any chance. Emmett pointed out how James was staring at Bella. I recognized that look, like a predator stalking its prey.

"Don't drink it Bella." I wouldn't say I was paranoid, because there was definitely cause for the sense of danger creeping in my mind.

"Yes father." She rolled her eyes and drank it. What a stubborn girl. In any other instance, I may found her stubbornness endearing, but tonight I wouldn't let it be her undoing.

I excused myself from everyone. I wanted to look for James who had conveniently disappeared. He saw all of us and probably panicked. I needed to find him so I could watch and make sure he stayed the hell away from Bella. Just as I spotted him across the club, I heard on ehte most annoying sounds in the world.

"Eddie!" I turned around and came face to face with Jessica, a girl I had casually slept with for awhile. I knew she always viewed our relationship as more, which is why I broke everything off and avoided her at all costs.

"Jessica, nice to see you. But if you'll excuse me…" I started to walk towards James' direction and realized he was gone. Great, I lost him. And to top it off, Jessica saw my lack of movement as hesitation. She must have fooled herself into believing I really wanted to spend time with her because before I knew it, she had latched herself onto my waist.

I turned and spotted Bella with yet another drink in her hand, a server walking away with a smug look on her face. Bella's eyes connected with mine. I tried to convey my worries to her. _Don't drink it, don't drink it, _I silently pleaded, _for the love of God don't drink it. _She did anyway. Time to head over. If I can't find James, at least I can stay with Bella to make sure nothing happens.

I began gently pushing through the crowd to cut a path to Bella, Jessica still stuck to my side. When I saw a guy approach her from behind, I freaked out. I was so nervous it was James, and the rest of our group wer too distracted to notice anything wrong.

My nerves lessened slightly when I realized this guy wasn't james. I watched as he lowered his head to whisper in Bella's ear. Then, much to my amusement, Bella kneed him right in his nuts. Ouch. But he deserved it.

I had been getting closer and closer to Bella. But as she turned to walk away, I stopped. She kept looking back at the guy to laugh and I realized I was right in her path. She'd bump into me if I didn't move. So I froze and made sure my presence was unknown.

Sure enough she bumped into me and I noticed the look on her face. She was embarrassed, but the blush wasn't from that. It was from the alcohol. I tried to play dumb, but I knew she saw straight through me.

Jessica, at this point, was beyond annoyed. She decided to make her presence known and I recognized what I thought was jealousy register on Bella's face. She tried to dismiss herself, as if she thought I wanted to be alone with Jessica. What a silly girl. I needed an excuse to leave Jessica and be with Bella. Just then Bella swayed, almost losing her balance. I tugged her along behind my so as to get away from Jessica as soon as possible.

"So now we're friends?" I couldn't tell if she meant it as a statement or question.

"If you'd like to be. I know I would." Yeah, would like to take you home right now and make me you mine.

"But what about earlier?" I took a second to contemplate that question. What was I doig starting this? Could I really be satisfied having her as just a friend?

"well I wasn't lying. It would be smarter to ignore me."

"Smarter for who?" She couldn't possibly understand what she did to me.

"Me." I couldn't help but smile at her. Bella was indeed such an interesting and beautiful creature and like a siren, she ws calling me to my doom.

I had to find out what that guy said to Bella. She looked like she didn't want to say, but did anyway. What I heard disgusted me. Some men had no class whatsoever.

"I wonder…would you say yes if I asked you to dance?"

She immediately said no, but I decided to work some of my magic on her. I knew the effect my smile could have on women.

"Well maybe." I took in her expression and knew she would cave if I kept this up. "Oh fine then." Excellent. I couldn't help from smiling even bigger.

All of a sudden R. Kelly started playing. It's like someone wanted to torture me. There was no way I could control myself if I were dancing with Bella to this song. I heard a soft groan escape 

those delectable lips. I couldn't help a smug feeling of satisfaction that maybe she had come to the same realization as me.

We began dancing close, but not touching. It suddenly wasn't close enough. I had to reach out and grab her. The need was primal and animalistic. I wanted myself all over her and I wanted everyone around to see, to know she was off limits. In this moment she ws mine and I couldn't be happier.

As the song continued, I thought I detected a look that contained pure lust. Her next movement confirmed my assumption. She pressed her body right up against me. I could feel her perky breasts against my chest. I wondered if her bra matched the lovely thong I had seen earlier. Luckily our lower halves weren't touching, otherwise she'd know exactly the effect she had on me.

I gazed deeply into her eyes and found myself lost in them. I wanted to kiss her, badly. I even felt myself start to lean down. It seemed almost like an out of body experience because I found I had no control of it. But I had to stop. I couldn't kiss her. That would be my undoing. I saw her begin to put her arms around me.

Before she could close them around me, I grabbed her left arm and twirled her around. I though if maybe she wasn't facing me, I would regain some of my self control. But as I watched her tight ass bak into me, that self control flew out the window. She ground into my erection and it was all I could do to not take her right here. I had never been so turned on in my life. Thoughts of me inside her filled my over excited mind.

I hardly even noticed the song change. I distantly recognized it as one Alice used to listen to often. Bella's slow tempo was tempting me so much right now.

And of course I could smell her hair, so close to me. It drove me crazy. My hand went up to it, wanting to see if it did in fact feel like soft silk. I needed to burn the smell of her hair into my memory, so as not to forget. I needed to know what it felt like against my skin.

I knew I was fighting a losing battle. Any second now I would spin her around and kiss her. Yet, I noticed her body start to soften. I couldn't feel the intensity of her body pressed hard against mine. Did she not want anything to happen? Did she just see this as an innocent dance between the two of us?

Before I could let the hurt wash over me, Bella slumped down in my arms.

"Bella? Bella! Oh my God, Bella?!" I was lightly shaking her. This wasn't a result of alcohol. What the hell did James put in those drinks? Emmett came running over with Jasper, Rosalie and Alice close behind. I let go of the knowledge of them spying on us for now. I was too scared to get angry with them.

"Edward, what happened? She just passed the fuck out. Is she ok?"

Then I saw him. The smallest of girns on his face. When he saw me, he composed himself.

"Edward, I think I should take Bella back to the office, get her away from all the noise and heat. I'll call an ambulance to come take her to the hospital. We need to leave this to the professionals."

I passed Bella off to Emmett, who looked confused as to how and why James was here trying to help.

"Fuck the professionals, and fuck you too you asshole." I punched him as hard as I could in the nose. I heard and felt the sickening crunch when I made contact. Blood started gushing from the point of impact.

"Oh, shit! What the fuck do you think you're doing Cullen?"

I couldn't stay here anymore. If I did, I'd probably end up staying the night in a jail cell.

"Emmett, I gotta get Bella out of here. This poor excuse of a man slipped something in those drinks he was sending her all night. Take care of him for me, will you? I'll get a cab and take her to the hospital." Emmett stood there growing angrier with every word I said.

I picked Bella up bridal style and ran as fast as I could outside. There were, of course, a line of taxis waiting outside, anticipating intoxicated patrons unable to drive themselves home. I opened the door to one of them and layed Bella down in the backseat. I got in and lifted her head to rest in my lap.

"Evanston Hospital, as quick as you can please." The taxi driver looked nervous. I wonder if he thought _I _had done this to Bella. Why would I be taking her to a hospital if I had? "Hurry, please, it's an emergency." I threw a 100 his way. That seemed to snap him out of his reverie. As we drove I pulled out my phone and dialed.

"Dad. It's Edward…I know it's late but it's an emergency…" I told him the story of what happened.

"Ok, I'll meet you there. Just let the ER know you're waiting for me, though I'll probably beat you there anyway." My father's calm voice soothed some of my fears.

We reached the hospital fairly quickly. I flung another 100 at the driver and was outside with Bella in my arms before he could ask half heartedly if I needed change,

Carlisle must've been waiting for me because he came running out the doors towards me.

"Give her to me Edward, I'll bring her in. You look exhausted."

"No." Carlisle stared at me for a heartbeat, nodded his head and led me back inside.

Once we were situated in an exam room, Carlisle began checking all her vitals. The lack of any comments was a bit disconcerting but eventually he stopped and turned to me.

"Well, it looks as if she's fine. Her heart rate is normal, as well as blood pressure, nice even breathing. It looks like whatever James gave her was solely to knock her out. It's lucky you were with her or who knows what could have happened to her." We both shuddered at the thought.

"Wait, I recognize her. This is Bella from my class." I watched as he made the connection in his head, realization dawning on him. "She's special to you, isn't she? That's why you were acting that way in my office, why you wanted to switch labs."

I couldn't find my voice. I could not admit to my father of my growing fondness for Bella Swan. He just smirked knowingly.

"Well there's no need for her to stay here. You should take her back to her place. I'm sure Alice will be nervously waiting up for her."

"Thanks Dad." He patted my shoulder and we said our goodbyes.

But when I got back to Alice and Bella's place, Alice was not there. I'm sure they're still "taking care" of James for me. God knows he deserves it.

I place Bella in her bed as gently as I could. I sat at the foot of it and just watched her, wary of any change in her physical state. Alice soon came running into the room, looking livid as hell.

"Is she ok? Oh my God Edward. What happened? What did James give her? I wanted to kill him but Emmett and Jasper wouldn't let me do anything. They said they wanted to pleasure of beating him to a bloody pulp all to themselves."

Apparently Emmett and Jasper had dragged james outside and beaten him so bad he couldn't move. They made sure he was still breathing and left him there. They then went inside to tell security, who insisted that James would be fired and reported to the police. As they left, one of the guards kicked james' stomach for good measure. I wish I could've seen that, been a part of that.

"It's ok, Edward, you can go. I'll keep an eye out for her."

"No, you look tired. You can sleep. Just let me run to my place and get something really quick. I need to stay with her and make sure she wakes up and is ok."

I didn't wait for an answer. I just got up and ran to my place. I reached it and saw Emmett look up at me, full of questions.

"Edward, is she ok?" but I was in and out before I could even answer. I had to get back, had to see she was still safe. The trip there and back ws so quick it was a blur.

I noticed when I got back that Alice had changed Bella out of the dress and in sweats and a tee. Under any other circumstances, an unconscious Bella would mean free reign for Alice's fashion takeover.

"Edward, what do you have/" I saw her gesture to the wrapped items in my hand, looking puzzled.

"Just something I got for Bella."

"Oh, ok. Well goodnight. Wake me up if anything happens." Thankfully Alice knew not to question me right now.

I sat and watched her sleep off the drugs and alcohol all night. She didn't stir at all until the sun had risen.

That's when I heard it, the sweetest sound I could imagine leaving those lips.

"Edward." It was so quiet it was almost a sigh. I couldn't help it, I moved closer, not wanting to miss anything else. But that was all she said.

I realized I could not possibly keep myself away from this girl anymore. I slid the notebook out of the wrapping paper as best I could without tearing anything. I needed to tell Bella how I felt, but I couldn't do it on paper. I needed to do it in person. Still I wanted her to know I wanted to talk to her, get close to her.

_Bella, _(I wrote on the first sheet in the notebook)

_You have to know how sorry I am about how I treated you in the past. Please say you'll forgive me. I don't know what I'll do if you don't. you are the most amazing and beautiful woman I have every met. When you are feeling up to it, I would love to talk to you again. Hopefully, if you'll allow it, I can become a part of your life._

_Love,_

_Edward_

_555-2600_

I rewrapped the notebook and placed it on Bella's desk as she began stirring in the bed.

"Alice," I hissed. "Alice, wake up. Bella is waking up and I need to leave."

"What? Why? You should stay. She would want that."

Bella's eyes began to flutter open. I was up and out the door before she could see me. I don't know why I felt I had to leave. I just prayed to God she would call me.

* * *


	8. Chapter 8

**i just wanted to thank everyone once again, for the alerts and reviews. i really enjoy reviews, even if it's something small or to just chat. so hint, hint, you should review. i'm also really excited that you love edward's pov. i was and still do get nervous when i have to write from his pov bc i'm not a guy so i don't know exactly how they think. Anyway, hope this chapt is good. it'll be the last one til after i am finished reading breaking dawn (i'm so freakin excited!) oh and sorry for the pov shifts in this chapter. kind of felt it necessary and it's hopefully not really confusing or anything.**

* * *

_I could sense him behind me, though I saw no one when I turned around. I knew running was pointless. He was impossibly fast. As I rounded the corner, all I saw were two blood red eyes staring me down._

"_And where do you think you're going, my pretty?" He growled the words and I felt myself choking and gagging on the stench of his breath. _

"_Please, stop! Leave me alone!"_

"_Oh no. No, I don' think so. You are far too delicious to pass up." He reached out to grab me, his movements quick like lightening, and had his lips inches away from my bare neck. I let out a whimper of defeat. Just before his teeth could graze my skin, I heard the voice of a God, calling me to safety._

"_If you don't let her go, my vengeance will be swift and terrible." The voice must have surprised my attacker because he let go and backed away inch by inch. _

"_Bella my love, come here. You will be safe with me." I ran to the voice without hesitation, never looking back. I could trust those words. I knew he could protect me._

_I fell into his arms and he turned us around to leave. Though he did not run, the scene faded behind us at light speed. _

_The two of us were alone now, standing in a breath taking meadow surrounded by trees. The sun broke free from the clouds and the god before me glistened like diamonds. _

"_My Bella, you never have need to fear again. I will never leave you. I will forever keep you safe."_

_I breathed out his divine name, the only thing I could say in response. _

"_Edward."_

All of a sudden it was too bright and I heard voices that were too loud. I tried to open my eyes, but they refused to be subjected to the harsh light surrounding me.

"Bella? Can you hear me?" Ugh why was Alice screaming at me?

"Mmffhphm." I tried to talk but my throat felt like I had swallowed a bucket of sand and my voice was too raspy.

"Bella, I need you to open your eyes. I need to know you're ok."

"Mmm..fine. But please try and use your inside voice Alice." She just looked at me, clearly not understanding. "You're yelling."

"No, sweetie, I'm not." Really? She sounded so loud. I couldn't understand why I felt so shitty, why the light seemed to hurt me as if I were some vampire, or why my sense of hearing was so heightened. Then bits and pieces of the night's events formed a fuzzy flashback in my mind. Shots, dancing, beers, Edward, alcohol, James, more alcohol, dancing with Edward…Oh no.

"Oh God, Alice, how drunk did I get? Did I make a complete ass of myself? No wonder I feel so shitty. If this hangover is the consequence of drinking, I promise I will never do that again." I expected Alice to smile, laugh, mention how I made a fool of myself, but she did none of those.

Instead her eyes looked sad and wary. What did I do? Was I a mean drunk? Did I hurt Alice's feelings? Oh no. Could I have confessed to Edward how utterly attracted to him I was? Did he reject me? Tears started welling up at the thought.

"What Alice? What happened?" She walked over, sat down next to me, and wrapped her dainty arms around me.

"Do you remember what happened last night?"

"Just bits and pieces."

"What's the last thing you remember Bella?"

"Well…dancing with Edward I guess." I felt embarrassed when I admitted it. Alice didn't seem to notice though. She heaved a sigh.

"Bella, you're not hung over, at least not in the traditional sense. Do you remember those drinks james sent you?" She didn't even wait for an answer. "Bella, there were drugs of some sort in there. James was trying to drug you up so he could…."

She trailed off when she took in my expression. My mouth had formed a rather large "O" in surprise.

"Did he..?" I couldn't finish the sentence.

"No. Luckily you passed out when you were with Edward. He took you to my dad at the hospital to make sure you weren't in danger, then brought you back here. He even…" She stopped mid sentence, clearly not meaning to have said that much.

"Even what Alice?"

"Um, he even waited til I got home so I could take care of you."

"Wow, that was nice of him."

"You have no idea." She had a far away look in her eyes that I couldn't understand.

"So what happened to James?"

"Well he's sporting a broken nose thanks to Edward."

I gasped. "Well at least he's nice enough to defend some girl he hardly knows." Alice mumbled something under her breath. I thought I could just make out the words "not some" and "ridiculous" and "he obviously."

"Ahem…Care to finish the story?"

"Oh right. So Edward left with you dead to the world." I could tell she felt a little more relaxed, able to joke with me after my light hearted tone. "He told Emmett to, and I quote, 'take care of him for me.' So naturally Em took it as a personal invitation to use James' body as his own personal punching bag. Even jasper joined in. it was really hot watching him take charge and defend your honor…sorry." I was glaring at her. I didn't need to hear about how Jasper turned her on. "Well, we told security about the situation and they said they'd call the cops and handle it. They'll be in touch if they need any statements."

I couldn't believe what I was hearing. All three of these boys were taking care of me as if I was family, even Edward who I'm pretty sure hates me. Alice must've been able to read my reaction.

"Em and Jasper love you like a sister you know. They'd do anything to protect you." I noticed she left Edward's name out. Hatred confirmed.

"And Edward?"

"Well, um, that's different I guess." I thought so. "Hey Bella, what's that on your desk?" She sounded like she was trying to change the subject but still genuinely looked interested.

"Oh! I didn't even notice. When did that get here?" I picked up the two wrapped objects in one hand and a card in the other. On the envelope, I noticed my name written in amazingly beautiful and neat calligraphy. I slowly opened it, nervous and anxious. Alice looked like she was having a hard time containing her excitement.

"Read it out loud bella, hurry!"

I cleared my throat, still a bit raspy.

_Dear Bella,_

_Please forgive my rudeness earlier. I was having a bad day and took it out on you. I know it's not really a good excuse, but still._

_Please accept this gift as a token of my sincere regrets. I'm sure you'll put it to good use and I only hope the music can serve as suitable inspiration to get your creative juices flowing._

_Truly, Edward_

I sat there frozen in place, astounded that this was from Edward.

"But when?"

"Oh he brought it up after dropping you off." So she knew, the little imp.

"Thanks for keeping me in suspense. Care to tell me what these are?"

"Well, that I don't know for sure. But I'm willing to bet my shoe collection that the smaller one is a cd of some sort." Obviously, even I could tell that.

I opened it and revealed a burned disc, clean of any writing or trace of identification.

"Ooh, play it! I want to know what's on it." I popped it in Alice's fancy stereo and pressed play. Soft piano music began playing through the speakers. I heard Alice gasp in surprise.

"Wow, it's quite beautiful. I don't recognize the composer though, do you?"

"Only vaguely." She was misty eyed.

My attention turned to the bigger package. I opened it quickly, excitement taking over. When I saw the notebook, I was stunned. How could he know that earlier that week I had admired the same exact one, only to not buy it because of the price?

"Open it up, see what's inside."

"It's just paper Alice, I happen to know it's blank inside, meant for writing in."

"So, writes something already." She seemed so adamant that I use the notebook this instant. I couldn't. I felt guilty.

"Alice, seriously. I can't use it. I feel bad. It's expensive and I don't feel right making Edward spend so much money on me."

"If you don't use it, you'll just be wasting his money."

"True, but if I give it back, I'm sure he has the receipt. He could return it and get his money back."

"Bella, you're completely absurd, you know that right?" She looked slightly annoyed but laughed just the same.

"I know. I'll just thank him for his thoughtfulness but explain I can't accept his gift."

"Whatever. Oh, and don't think I forgot about our shopping trip. I know I said no exceptions, but I'll let you off the hook today due to the traumatizing events at The Underground. But tomorrow you are all mine!"

It was Sunday morning, early by the looks of it and by how tired I still felt. I opened my eyes to see a pair of blue ones mere inches from mine.

"Agh!" Of course I sreamend. Who wouldn't? Alice just bust out laughing.

"Oh good, you're awake. C'mon, time to get ready for our shopping excursion. We're going to Woodfield Mall today, ever been?"

I could only shake my head in response. I was still trying to slow my racing heart and regain control of my rapid breathing.

"You're gonna love it. It's a little bit of a drive, since it's in Schaumburg, so we need to hurry up and leave if we want maximum shopping time." Did I mention my annoyance about Alice being a morning person? Ugh. I was not looking forward to the frenzy of today's activities. I could already imagine tiny Alice looking like a kid in a candy store there. I guess clothes and shoes were her versions of gummy bears and pixie sticks.

Yesterday had been so relaxing. I just lounged around in my bummy clothes all day. Alice said she'd "allow" it because of everything I'd gone through.

Emmett and Rosalie showed up midday to see how I was doing. It touched me that they'd check on me, especially Rosalie since she didn't come across as the friendliest person.

"I have some bad news, Bella." Emmett looked murderous and I assumed it was from what he was about to tell me.

"Ok..?"

"They let James go. Police said there was no proof that it was him who drugged your drinks. No one at the bar saw him do it. Plus they said we were lucky, can you believe that, lucky James wasn't pressing charges against us for assaulting him. I'm sure he isn't because it would draw too much attention to his sorry ass and then more girls would come forward about what he has done. I almost decked the cops right then and there when they told me that though. Luckily Rose was there to calm me down."

"Yeah, or _you'd _be in jail." She shook her head disapprovingly.

"There'd always be conjugal visits to look forward to though." A goofy grin was plastered across his face. Leave it to Emmett to bring everything back to sex.

Even Jasper came by, though I suspected it was to see Alice more than anything.

"I'm so sorry you had to go through that Bella." Looking at his expression, he seemed pained, almost as if he could feel how scary all of this had been. He patted my shoulder and I relaxed at his touch.

"Thanks Jasper, I really appreciate it."

But the person I wanted to see most never showed up to check on me. And none of my visitors thought to mention how Edward had been the one to take me to the hospital and then back home. I was beginning to think Edward suffered from severe mood swings. One minute he treats me like scum, then he says he wants to be friends, only to dance with me like _that _and be my knight in shining armor, back to treating me like I didn't exist. I don't get him, not one bit.

Unfortunately, I had to snap back to the present because alice was not so gently tugging me away from our room, out the door and to the parking lot. We stopped in front of a little yellow ccar. Alice must've noticed my gaze.

"Do you like it? It's a Porsche 911 Turbo. It's so fast, I love it!"

"Yeah, it's great. I saw one just like this at my Aunt and Uncle's neighbors'."

"Well whoever lives there has _excellent_ taste." She unlocked the doors and we climbed in.

Alice had said the trip to Woodfield would take awhile, but I felt like we had barely left campus when we were already nearing our exit. I looked down at the speedometer only to notice she was going 110 mph.

"Holy Hell Alice! Where's the fire?!" She just grinned at me and slowly let off the gas as we got closer and closer to our destination.

Woodfield mall was, well, big and slightly confusing. There seemed to be ½ levels and depending on which ramp or flight of stairs you took, it always let you somewhere different. Thank God for Alice who seemed to have the entire floor plan memorized and just led me whichever way she desired.

We went into countless different stores, sometimes more than once if Alice remembered something she liked but hadn't gotten. Alice was overwhelmed with bags. I carried some too, all Alice's as well.

I heard a loud, low grumbling noise and it took me awhile to realize it was my stomach making the noise. I hadn't eaten all day, thanks to how quickly I was forced to get ready and leave. And it was now well into the afternoon. I was famished.

"Good Lord, was that your stomach? C'mon let's get you something to eat."

"Can we head home after that? I think my blisters have blisters at this point." Alice just rolled her eyes at me.

We stopped at the foodcourt for much needed nourishing. All that grease was sure to settle well in my stomach. Yeah right. Shopping had distracted me from my thoughts, needing the extra brain power to motivate me and send much needed endorphins to keep me out of a sour mood. Now that we were resting and shoving our mouths full of burgers and fries, I wandered over to my memories of Edward. Alice hadn't brought it up all day. She was making good on her promise from Friday (was it really only 2 days ago?). Even though I heard the events told from 4 different perspectives, I felt I was missing something. I decided to try and press Alice for more information.

"I still can't get over Friday night."

"Oh, Bella." She looked distressed and worried, like I was now just going to go in shock, scream, or some other extreme reaction.

"Oh, no. Don't worry Alice. I just meant I can't believe how I managed to attract that much trouble without even trying. Who would've thought James would see me and decide to go all psycho stalker on me?"

"Yeah but that is my fault. I should never have trusted him. I should've listened to E…my brothers and Jasper about him. He was always so careful not to show his true colors around me I guess." Speaking of careful, had she been about to say Edward? I wonder if she knew what I was up to. I decided I didn't care. I would still try and get her to talk more about what happened.

"I mean seriously, I was just dancing and all of a sudden I was out."

"Yeah, it was really scary. I saw how you just blacked out."

"Oh really? I was dancing by Edward right?" I was hoping she'd correct me. I knew that she knew I was dancing with him. She had been watching me apparently.

"Mmhmm." Her response or lack thereof told me she was on to me.

"I mean, I was really lucky he was nearby and nice enough to help or who knows what would've happened."

Just when I thought I would elicit some kind of response, Alice's phone rang. She glanced at the caller id and held up her finger to indicate she'd be a moment.

"Hello. Why haven't you…Yes, she's fine. We're out right now actually…I said she was fine…Oh, she seems to be doing well…" Alice eyed me nervously. "Ok, love you too. Bye Dad." She closed her phone and put it away. "Carlisle just wanted to check up on you. He was worried." That did _not_ sound like a conversation she'd have with her dad.

* * *

**EPOV**

She hadn't called yet like I'd hoped. Oh god, I'm a moron. Of course she wouldn't call. She probably despised me. But I had to know she was ok. I need to call alice and find out. I kept putting it off, hoping against hope that Bella would just call. Still nothing. Time to call my little sister.

"Hello. " It wasn't even a question, she knew it was me. "Why haven't you…"

"Alice, is Bella ok?" I was so anxious to hear the answer, I didn't even let her finish.

"Yes, she's fine. We're out right now actually…"

"How is she feeling?" This time I didn't mean her physical well being, but her mental state. I was worried she'd have a hard time taking the news of what had almost happened.

"I said she was fine."

"I meant how is she handling what happened Friday night?"

"Oh she seems to be doing well."

"Oh thank God, Alice." I ended the call before she could keep talking. She was with Bella and I didn't need Bella thinking or knowing how worried I was. She obviously did not care for me like I did. How else could I take her lack of a phone call? I had basically put myself out there for her. If our dancing hadn't tipped her off, calling her amazing and beautiful surely did. Not that I really blamed her for brushing me off. I am an ass.

Then a thought struck me. I had to see her every Monday, Wednesday and Friday in biology. Oh, heaven help me, how will I face her?

* * *

**BPOV**

Sunday evening passed with still no word of or from Edward. The most eventful thing was me coming back into our room from the bathroom, only to find piles of clothes on my bed.

"Alice, get all your clothes off my bed. I'm tired and want to sleep."

"Don't you get annoyed at me, Miss Swan. They're _you're _clothes. You put them away."

"But..how..when?" I just sputtered my words out at her.

"Oh, well, when you were done trying things on and still in the changing room, I just ran to the register and paid for the things I liked on you. And don't even try and return them, all the tags are ripped off and I've thrown away the receipt already."

"You must be one of Satan's little minions, you know that?"

"You know you love me."

Monday morning, before I left for campus, I carefully placed the notebook in my bag. I didn't want to damage it at all, then he wouldn't be able to take it back.

I got to class early, hoping to catch Edward before his dad started to lecture. I didn't see him, so I sat were Alice and I had last time, last row by the aisle. There were only a couple of minutes til class started. Alice showed up and sat next to me.

"Looking for someone?"

"No." I didn't feel like admitting I was looking for her brother.

"Carlisle stepped up to the podium and began talking. I noticed that the first row was filled with girls. Carlisle was extremely good looking (he obviously passed on his good genes to his children), and I'm sure they were admiring the view. I started to giggle at the thought when I heard a door creak open behind me. I saw Edward walk past me, turning slightly to look at me for the briefest of moments before hurrying to the front.

The hour was long and tedious, not because Carlisle was boring, but because I kept looking forward (and not in a good way) to talking to Edward and giving back the notebook. But when class was over, I saw a messy head of bronze half way out the front doors before anyone else had stood up to leave.

Wednesday's class happened much the same way and I felt a twinge of annoyance. Why was he avoiding me? Did he regret how nice he was, thinking he'd led me on and now I was obsessed? Well, I mean I was slightly obsessed with him, but by no fault of his. Unless he could help how insanely gorgeous he was.

I reserved hope for Friday. At least I knew I could talk to him in lab. I would give him the stupid notebook back in the middle of class if I had to. There was no avoiding me this time. But I was wrong. I walked into the classroom with Alice only to find some girl I recognized as another TA.

"Hi, I'm Leah and I'm just filling in today because your normal TA is sick."

"Is that so?" I rounded on alice. She just stared straight ahead. "Alice, why is your brother avoiding me?"

"I really have no idea what you're talking about Bella." This was getting ridiculous. I was becoming more and more frustrated with Alice with each passing day. She was taking the promise I had made her keep too far.

"Oh, thank God he's not here today. He seemed like kind of an ass, huh?" Some boy with blonde hair who I think was named Mike was turned in his chair, talking to me. I just ignored him. I had much more pressing matters to attend to.

"Damnit Alice," I hissed trying to keep my voice as low as possible to avoid being heard by everyone else. "I am unmaking that promise about Edward. Now spill!"

"Geez, Bella. I suggest you open that damn notebook you've been carrying with you all week." Was she serious? _That _was her response? "Just do it. Trust me."

I pulled out the notebook and opened it slowly, confused and slightly afraid at what I would see. There written in the same amazing handwriting that graced the card, was another note from Edward.

_Bella,_

_You have to know how sorry I feel about how I treated you in the past. Pleae say you'll forgive me. I don't know what I'll do if you don't. You are the most amazing and beautiful woman I have ever met. When you are feeling up to it, I would love to talk to you again. Hopefully, if you'll allow it, I can become a part of your life._

_Love, Edward (555.2600)_

He thinks I'm amazing and beautiful? He gave me his number?

"I'll bet he thought you were purposely not calling him."

"Why didn't you tell me Alice?"

"Well, first off, because I didn't know _what _he wrote, only that he wrote something which he didn't realize I had seen him do it. Second off, you made me promise not to talk about him. That definitely would've broken my promise and I don't work that way."

"He's not really sick, is he?"

"Nope." She popped the "p" to emphasize it.

"I'm leaving right now." With that I collected my things and started to stand up. Alice's laughter caught my attention.

"In the middle of class, Miss Swan? Shock and horror!" I could see the delight radiating from her expression.

I was out the door before anyone could say anything else. I was in a hurry; I had plans for Edward.

* * *

**so let me know what you think. sorry it's kinda a cliffy. ooh. i hope it makes you review and ask for more! heehee**


	9. Chapter 9

**a/n: thanks to all of you who review and alert this story. i feel the need to thank you every time. sorry i don't thank personally on here. it would take up space and time. but i so appreciate it. i get the biggest, goofiest grin when i see them. i love it.**

**So, sorry it's taken awhile to update. Though i finished breaking dawn on sunday, it took awhile to try and forget about the real vampire world and resume things from the human world i have invented. i did like it tho, quite a bit. and while i know some do not agree bc of how different it was from the other three, all i have to say is this: _(PLEASE SKIP IF YOU HAVE NOT READ BREAKING DAWN YET, JUST IN CASE. DON'T WANT TO SPOIL IT FOR ANYONE.)_**

**of course it was different. anyone who wanted bella to be a vampire should expect a different kind of story since she would be different. and while i never thought sm would take it in that direction, i liked it and saw it as a necessary tool for taking her story to where it needed to go. nessie was the perfect foil in the story. so whatever. i liked it.**

**enough ranting. this chap isn't as long as i'd like it to be but i just didn't see a need to add any more. maybe i'll do it from epov, maybe. if i get enough requests to, i will. so there's some incentive to review. if you want it, you gotta ask for it. and even if you don't want it, i still love reviews. **

**oh, and i am on vacation from work right now! yippee. which means more frequent updates. i will have a lot more time on my hands so i will fill the void with my story (and family, i do have a life, sorta). and i really did mean to have this up at a much more reasonable time. but i had family in town to entertain and that always means late nights for me. i swear, i don't stay up this late on purpose. i had everything typed out and ready to go when i had to leave and i just got back to post it. sorry for any typos. i'm ridiculously tired at this point. i stayed up to post just for those who appreciate this story.**

**ok, enough of this. longest author's note ever (for me at least)**

I knew Edward wasn't sick, but Edward didn't know that. I was going to use this situation to my advantage. I contemplated calling him, but I did not want Edward knowing I skipped out of lab because of him. I did not want him thinking he had that much influence over me. So I'd just stick to the original plan.

I found my way to Roxanne, my neglected truck. I hadn't had much need of a vehicle as of yet. So I was kind of nervous about driving around town by myself. I cursed myself, thinking I should've invited Alice. She knows her way around town more than I do. Oh well, too late now.

So off I headed, in what I hoped was the right direction, to find a grocery store. I stumbled along a Jewel and quickly parked. I decided to buy a get well card for Edward, along with some Dayquil. I knew he didn't need it really, and I probably shouldn't spend my money on it, but he started it. I don't know what even came over Edward to buy something for me. But I felt like I had to even things out, since he obviously couldn't return the notebook, not now that I knew about the note he had written for me. I thought about writing him a note in the card, maybe expressing my sincere thanks for saving me from the despicable James, but instead I just signed my name. I wanted to keep it simple, and I wanted to keep Edward in the dark about how I felt exactly.

As I neared campus, I made a last minute decision. I pulled into the parking lot of a Panera Bread. Chicken noodle soup, how more perfect could I make this charade seem? I bought myself some broccoli cheddar soup in a bread bowl to go, simply because it was too delicious to pass up. By the time I had finished buying everything, lab was over. Perfect timing. Now I just had to make a phone call to Alice to find out where exactly Edward lived.

"Why do you want to know?" I could hear her smiling through the phone.

"Oh, I just wanted to drop off some things for him, since he's under the weather and all." She laughed at me and told me where his apartment was.

Now, time to call Edward. I walked over to his place while I dialed his number. It rang a few times before I heard that smooth like honey voice pick up and answer.

"Hello?" He was curious as to who was calling since he didn't recognize the number. I felt a stab of nervousness as I opened my mouth. What am I doing? Why did I think I could play this off? Oh I so royally screwed. "Hello?" The smoothness was now giving way to annoyance.

"Hi, is this Edward?" I heard a gasp and what sounded like a thud. It was silent for a few seconds.

"Bella?" I smiled. He recognized my voice already. "What's up?"

"Oh, well Leah told us in lab today that you're not feeling well."

"Yeah, that's right." I heard him force out a very unconvincing cough. I had to cover my mouth to keep the giggles from escaping.

"Well, I heard how nice you were to me Friday night, taking me to the hospital and dropping me off at home with Alice…"

"Wait, what? Dropping you off with Alice?" He sounded angry yet relieved at the same time. I couldn't figure this boy out.

"Um..yeah..so anyway, I asked Alice for your number so I could call you. And I thought I'd come by to check on you. Ya know, repay the favor?" He didn't respond at first. I wondered if he thought I made up the asking Alice for his number part because I didn't want to admit that I had chickened out of calling him once I read his note.

"Bella that's really not necessary. I would hate to think that you got sick because of me."

"It's really no trouble at all. I have a great immune system. I kind of have to, what with how accident prone I am."

"No, please. I insist. I'm fine. I just need rest." Though he was trying to sound firm, I could still sense the pleading undertone.

"Oh but.."

"Really. I'll be fine. I'll just see you later in class. No need to bother coming over." If he only knew. It was too late because I was already outside his apartment.

"Ok." I covered the phone and knocked on his door.

"Hmm. Listen Bella, I need to let you go. There's someone here. I'll talk to you later though?" He ended it like a question as if he wasn't sure.

"Yeah, ok. Bye." He said his goodbyes and hung up.

I could just barely hear footsteps from inside. The door swung open and there stood Edward, more beautiful than anyone deserved to be, more beautiful than even my memories of him. They just didn't do him justice. I guess nothing really could.

"Surprise." I smiled hugely. It was obvious from his gaping mouth that he had no idea he would find me on the other side of his door.

"Wha..what are yo…you doing he..here?" Edward stuttered? That was definitely a first. He was usually so articulate and witty.

"Well I know you said not to bother coming over, but I was already on my way. Plus, I brought you something." I held up the bags so he could see I wasn't empty handed.

"Oh." Not quite the response I was expecting.

"Aren't you going to invite me in?" He blushed and stepped out of the way, allowing me entrance. I noticed at once how nice his place was. There were big leather couches in the living room, surrounding an entertainment unit, complete with big screen plasma and theater like surround system. I noticed an Xbox 360, Wii, and Playstation 3, along with more games than I could count. Geez, how many video games could a guy play? I shouldn't have been surprised by all the nice things, knowing the kind of stuff Alice had.

"Nice digs Edward."

"Um, yeah thanks. My mom had fun decorating in a 'manly' theme or so she said."

"Is it just you living here?"

"Oh no, Me and Em share a room and Jasper has the other one. I would've preferred sharing with Jasper but Alice comes over too often for that to be comfortable. At least Em can leave for Rose's."

"Well, back to the reason I'm here. I know how bad you're feeling right now so I brought you some things that might help."

"You really shouldn't have." He grumbled so low I don't think he meant for me to hear.

"Anyway, here." I handed him the card. He opened it, rather excitedly, and read it right in front of me. It looked like his face fell when he saw all I did was sign my name. "And you'll definitely need these." I took out the Dayquil and set it on his kitchen counter. "And of course, you'll need this." I set the bag from Panera next to the Dayquil. I saved the chicken noodle soup for last. It was the icing on the cake.

"Wow, Bella. That is really kind of you."

"Well, I do sorta have ulterior motives for stopping by." His eyes lit up with curiosity.

"You do?" The excitement was back.

"Yeah. While I appreciate the thoughtfulness, I really can't accept your gift," I pulled out the notebook, "even if it is amazing and beautiful." I couldn't help but use his own words.

"You didn't use it, not even open it up?" He looked at me skeptically.

"No I couldn't, I happen to know how expensive it is, because I had been eyeing it for awhile." I extended my arms, trying to get Edward to take the notebook.

"Then by all means, keep it." He was trying to push the notebook back towards me.

"I can't do that. It's not right."

"Then I can't accept all this." He swept his hands across the counter where all of the cold remedies sat.

"But those are things you _need_ when sick. And I know when I'm sick I don't have the energy to get out and get things myself." I watched as Edward's shoulders slumped and he cast his eyes down.

"I have a confession to make…I'm not sick. So you _really_ shouldn't have bought those things for me."

"Then why weren't you in class today? That's not very responsible Mr. Cullen." I really enjoyed toying with him.

"Well, you see, I um.." I was really starting to enjoy this flustered version of Edward.

"Could it possibly have anything to do with me not calling you all week long?" His eyes snapped back up to my level.

"You did see the note!" Edward looked mortified. I couldn't help but laugh at this point. That only made his face turn sour.

"Well, yes, but only a few hours ago when Alice insisted I look inside the notebook." He looked confused so I continued. "I really _don't _feel comfortable accepting a gift like this. I never even cracked it open when I got it. I was planning on returning it to you on Monday. But I never got a chance because you kept running off. Then today I was so sure I'd see you only to find out you were 'sick.' Alice finally confessed that you had written something in it and I should read it."

"But how did she see me write in it? I was so sure she was fast asleep when I did that." It was my turn to be confused.

"What are you talking about?"

"Hmm. Well, Friday night I was pretty worried about you so I stayed the whole night in case of any emergency." He rushed through his sentence, blushing again.

"What?!" Why would he do that? That has to be the sweetest thing a guy has ever done for me. Could he possibly care for me, even an iota of how much I already care for him? It couldn't be possible.

"I was just really worried I guess." He answered my question before I had a chance to voice it. I was slightly disappointed, hoping he'd confess some undying love for me. But yeah right, dream on Bella.

"So you didn't just drop me off like Alice said? Why didn't she tell me? Oh my God I didn't do anything embarrassing, did I?"

"You were pretty much passed out the whole night. Why would you think you did something embarrassing?"

"Well, I have been known to talk in my sleep."

"Oh, is that so?" He flashed a smile my way and I had the sinking suspicion that he _had _heard something. All I know is I had a crazy dream about a vampire James chasing me and Edward saving me. I hope he didn't hear anything incriminating.

"At any rate, thanks for staying with me that night. That was too much. Now I really can't accept your gift. It's just too much."

"But Bella, it's already written in. I can't return it and I have no use for it. But I know you do. So keep it, please. What about the cd? Did you enjoy it?"

"Yes, it was amazing. But I didn't recognize some of the songs. Who was the composer?"

"Me." He stated it so easily, as if it was no big thing.

"Y-y-you?" Now it was my turn to stutter.

Edward, clearly more comfortable now, started looking in the Panera bag.

"So what kind of soup did you get me?"

"Duh, chicken noodle. What else would a sickie need?" I just rolled my eyes at him.

"So then, what's this?" Oops. I had forgotten to pull out my food before I got here.

"Mmm. Broccoli cheddar and a soup bowl? I think I'll have this instead. Much better for my ailment than chicken noodle." Edward grabbed my food and walked over to the kitchen table with it.

"Hey! Hands off! That's mine!"

"But Bella, I'm sick." He gave me the most adorable puppy dog eyes. It was probably a Cullen thing. I've seen that look on Alice before.

"You're not even sick, you faker!" I had to look away from him or I was toast.

"Please? It's my favorite." His voice was incredibly hard to resist at this moment, as if he knew exactly what he was doing. He probably did. I'm sure he's used these tricks for his gain too many times to count.

"Yeah, mine too! Which is why I bought it, for me!"

"Would you share it with me then?" Ugh. He could be so damn charming when he wanted to be. And too ridiculously hot for my own good.

"Fine." He patted the chair next to him so I sat down with a 'humph'. Edward just laughed at me. I had never heard him laugh so freely before. Granted, I had only known him for a short time, but what I had gotten to know seemed so controlled and almost rigid.

"So Bella, tell me about yourself."

"What do you want to know?"

"You're not from around here, are you?"

"No, I grew up in Phoenix." And with that I started telling Edward about my life in Phoenix with my mom and rainy Forks with Charlie. He asked about any friends I had left behind. He sounded incredulous when I told him that I didn't keep in contact with anyone from high school.

"Not even a special someone?" He nudged me playfully and smiled. But his eyes looked darker and the smile didn't reach them.

"No. I did date someone for awhile down there, but that's been over for a long time. I left all of my associations behind me when I came out here for school."

"Oh, ok." He sounded nonchalant again while ripping off some bread to dip in the soup.

"What's your favorite color?"

"Green." I answered without thinking. It really is green, but now that I'd seen Edward's eyes, the color green had a whole new significance to me. I blushed, but only slightly. I don't think he even noticed, which was a good thing. I don't think I could handle any questions about that response.

"Your favorite band?"

"Ooh, that's a tough one. I like so many it's hard to just choose one." He kept looking at me expectantly. "Ok, if I had to choose just one, Brand New. Easily one of my favorites. But I like so many different groups. Like Tegan and Sara, Clap Your Hands Say Yeah, Death Cab, The Faint, Alkaline Trio…" I had to stop before I went on forever. I love music.

"Interesting selection." I was waiting for him to comment more, I wanted to know if he liked any of the same music, but he didn't. You know Brand New is coming to town soon. We should go see them." Was that Edward asking me out? No, I knew better. He just wanted to go see a band together, hardly a date. But still, it would be an evening spent with him. Still good in my book.

He continued to ask me any and every question he could think of. I lost track of all sense of time. That is, until my phone rang. I noticed what time it was. Oh shit, 6:30. I opened my phone and before I could answer, Alice was screaming.

"Bella! Where the hell are you? You were supposed to meet me in the library a half hour ago!" I held the phone away from me while she screeched to preserve my eardrum. Edward chuckled at my predicament. I just glared at him.

"I know what it feels like to be on the receiving end of Alice's rants."

"Is that Edward? Oh my God Bella, are you still at his place?" I had to stop her from saying anything more.

"Yes Alice. Now please stop yelling. _We_ can hear you loud and clear." I hope she got the hint.

"Oh. Ohhh." The second oh was a knowing one. Like an 'oops, I shouldn't have yelled that because Edward obviously heard' kind of oh.

"Yeah, so I'm sorry. I lost track of time. I'm leaving now though so we can study together." Out of the corner of my eyes I noticed Edward frown down at the soup.

"K, I'll _talk_ to you later." Oh great. I'm sure Alice wanted a play by play from me. I hung up and turned to say goodbye to Edward.

"I had a lot of fun today, even if you did hog my soup, you faker."

"Me too. We should do this again soon." Yes!

"Yeah, it's great we can be friends after we got off to such a bad start.

"Yeah, friends." His lips turned down just the slightest bit. "Here, don't forget your notebook." He handed it to me and I put it in my bag.

I turned to walk out the door when I felt Edward place his hand on my shoulder. He turned me back around and hugged me. I thought I would faint from the contact. I know I had been close to him before, like when we were dancing, but this was different. He wrapped his arms around me and held me tightly to his chest.

"Be sure to call me sometime soon, _friend._" He whispered into my ear, causing me to shiver. He let me go and I stumbled out his door. I remember hearing him laughing at me, but after that, who knows how I made it to the car and then the library in one piece. I know I said I would never get drunk again, but I already was. I was so drunk off of Edward it was unreal.

* * *


	10. Chapter 10

**a/n: not stephenie meyer (i wish tho)**

**thanks again to all of you lovely reviewers. it's gotten to the point where i crave them. i'm addicted to your reviews. and seriously, if you have comments, questions, ideas, i take em all seriously.**

**So this chapter is a lot of dialogue for the first part. but it provides some nice back story for those of you who were interested in where the purple lingerie came from. hmmm with that, i leave you to read!**

* * *

Stupid freakin college with its stupid freakin work, making me freakin study on a freakin Friday night." I couldn't help but laugh at Alice. Though she had thankfully refrained from swearing, her rant was loud enough for everyone around to hear.

"Alice, could you try and keep it down? People are staring and I'm pretty sure you're disrupting their concentration." I mock glared at her.

"Bella! About damn time!"

"Shh." I felt awkward as the people at the surrounding tables all turned to stare at the two of us.

"Oh right. Sorry but you've got a lot of explaining to do."

"Ok, ok. But can we go somewhere not so _quiet _and _public_?" She just grabbed my hand and dragged me outside to a bench where we could be by ourselves.

"So?" She just stared at me expectantly.

"So what?" I knew what she wanted, but I was stalling.

"Quit stalling." Damn. "Tell me what happened."

I quickly went through the part of the story where I bought everything for Edward. Alice stopped me when I got to the part when he opened the door and saw me.

"What did he do?"

"At first he just stood there, eyes and mouth wide open. He looked kinda like a frog hoping some bug would fly in his awaiting mouth." Alice giggled hysterically at the mental picture. "Then he stuttered out a 'what are you doing here'."

"Oh that's good. You clearly have a big effect on our dear Eddie boy. So what happened next?"

"Well, I gave him the stuff along with the notebook, which I called amazing and beautiful. You should've seen the look on his face. But I played it off as if I didn't know about the note inside. He tried to turn down the Dayquil an d soup, but when I insisted he needed it, he finally admitted he wasn't sick. So I told him the truth, that I did read the note, but not until today." That reminded me of something. "Why didn't you tell me Edward had stayed with me the whole night after the club?"

"Honestly? I didn't know how you'd take it. It was so obvious how attracted you were to my brother, but I also could tell how determined you were to not like him. And I could tell it was the same for Edward, though he caved way before you. When you started waking up he all but ran out the door. For some reason, he didn't want you to see him there, probably because then he'd have to admit to his growing attraction to you." So Edward was the other voice I had heard that morning. It all started to make more sense.

I finished the story off by telling her how we got to know each other better by playing an impromptu game of 20 questions. When I got to the part about me telling Edward I was glad we could be friends, Alice tisked at me.

"What?"

"Bella, what were you thinking? Don't you want to be _more_ than friends?"

I couldn't help but blush. Of course I wanted to be more! Who wouldn't? To be able to touch him and kiss him whenever I pleased…But I didn't feel like admitting all that to Alice.

"Yeah, sure I guess so." I'm pretty sure Alice knew what I really meant.

"Well that friends comment might've thrown Edward off. He might be a little bit more apprehensive to do anything now."

"Oh please Alice, as if he wants anything more."

"For someone so smart, you sure are stupid, ya know that?" I just let that comment slide. I couldn't let myself hope too much that me and Edward could one day be an "us."

"Besides Alice, I'm pretty busy with school. It sounds like Edward is too. And I'm not exactly looking for a boyfriend. I've had enough bad experiences to last me awhile."

Speaking of boyfriends…" Oh crap, why did I bring that up? Alice was right. Stupid, stupid Bella! "Well I believe now qualifies as later. You promised me you'd tell me about one of your boyfriends, the one that gave you that sexy lingerie."

"The only one." I corrected. She didn't understand so I went on. "I've only ever dated one guy. His name was Laurent. And I was completely head over heels for him. A senior when I was a freshman, he was also French so he had a sexy accent to go along with his upper classman status."

"Oooh, this is getting good!" I wish.

"He had been dating this girl, Victoria, for most of high school which I hardly even knew about seeing as how I wasn't there yet. But they broke up senior year and somehow, for some reason, he asked me out. Of course I said yes. Who wouldn't? I was the envy of my entire class, not to mention most of the rest of my high school. Laurent was amazingly handsome." Though still no Edward, I thought to myself.

Unfortunately, he was graduating and I was so down thinking that we would obviously break up so he could go to school. But he got accepted to ASU and told me he wanted to keep dating. I was ecstatic. He was choosing me over college girls.

So we got together on weekends and breaks. He always drove down to spend time with me. I wanted to visit him at school but he told me it wasn't safe. He didn't want guys checking me out and trying to steal me away from him.

It was finally my senior year and I had every intention of going to ASU to spend his last year there together. I would've quit school if he needed to move. I would've followed him anywhere." I couldn't help the wavering in my voice. I was finally getting over him, but thinking about our relationship was still difficult.

"We had yet to actually have sex. We had messed around plenty but he told me he wanted our first time to be special, not something rushed between visits. That just made me fall for him even harder. I took it as a sign that we were meant to be together. I asked him to be my prom date. Some people made fun of him for coming to a high school prom, but it made me feel special. I know it's cliché, but I knew prom night was the perfect night. The big night arrived and I was so nervous. It wasn't like I expected. It hurt and he rushed through things, just pleasing himself.

In the weeks that followed, it was like I had opened a flood gate. I guess because we had finally had sex he felt he could come over and get it any time he wanted. He bought me that purple set one time, pleading for me to wear it for him. But I couldn't. I know he had seen me naked, but it felt uncomfortable to be dressed up in that for him. So I never wore it. I guess the fact that I felt that way should've clued me in that we weren't as close as I thought.

Our time spent together became less frequent. It was to the point where he'd only call me when he was horny. I seriously felt like some cheap booty call. So early in the summer I decided to surprise him at his place in downtown Phoenix. I knocked on the door but Laurent didn't answer. It was Victoria, the girl he had dated all through high school, and she looked like she was about 8 months pregnant."

Alice gasped as her tiny hands flew to her face in horror, then muttered a soft "Oh my God."

"I know, but it gets worse. She clearly didn't recognize me, because she asked if I was selling something. She thought I was some summer sales person. When I asked for Laurent she said, 'Oh I'm sorry, but my husband's at work right now. If you want to leave your card with me I'll have him contact you.'

It took every ounce of my being to not cry and run from the spot. But I knew I had to say something. So I told her, 'Yes, if you could just leave this message for him: Tell him Miss Swan discovered his dirty laundry and it's taken care of. There's no need for him to come by because I won't be offering my services anymore.' She just looked politely confused and said she'd tell him. As soon as she shut the door I broke down.

I couldn't even go home. I was too embarrassed. How could I have not known he was cheating on me? How long had he been married? Had he been with Victoria the _entire_ time? I felt like a fool. Of course he didn't really love me, how could he? He was just using me to get off. It was so hard to take in. I had loved him and I honestly thought he felt the same."

"That sick bastard! What happened when he found out you knew?" Alice was red in the face with rage.

"Nothing. He never called me again, so I assumed he got what I was saying. I was glad he didn't call. I wouldn't have been able to take it.

But then there was the problem of college. I couldn't go to ASU now, not with the chance of having to see him, however slim it was. Luckily I had applied to Northwestern, on a whim really, because I was interested in their creative writing program. Amazingly enough, they had accepted me.

My mom was so confused. I could not, of course, tell her about what really happened. She would have killed him, then called Charlie and he would have come down and then killed him again. I just told her that Laurent and I had drifted apart and I wanted a fresh start."

"Bella, that's awful. I'm so sorry you had to go through such a bad experience. Your first love should not be that way. Come here."

She reached out her arms and wrapped them around me. She hugged me fiercely, as if to let me know she understood and that she knew it would get better. I hadn't realized I was crying until I felt the moistness on Alice's shirt.

"Oh god, Alice. I'm sorry. I hope I didn't ruin your shirt."

"Please, this ol' thing? C'mon, let's blow off school work tonight and eat Ben and Jerry's while watching some sappy movies." She knew me too well.

So we just vegged out watching _Two Weeks Notice_ and _13 Going on 30. _We decided to watch _Pretty Woman_ last. When the scene with Richard Gere and Julia Roberts on the piano came on the screen, I couldn't help voice my fantasy.

"Man, wouldn't it be incredibly hot to have sex on a piano?" Alice gave me a wicked grin.

"You know Bella, I happen to be very close to someone who plays the piano. I could arrange that." Oh God. How could I forget that Edward played the piano!

"That's not what I meant and you know it!" She started laughing and soon I was joining in. We both crashed out shortly after that. I woke to the feel of my phone vibrating against me.

_Hey friend_

_Hope the library was fun_

_If you're not back at home yet_

_Then you need to hang out _

_With some more _

_Exciting friends_

_Sweet dreams,_

_Edward_

I couldn't keep myself from smiling at that. I hoped he was trying to imply he'd like to spend time with me. I knew it was late but I had to respond.

_No, I'm not actually_

_You woke me up from _

_My beauty sleep._

_Thanks a lot friend!_

_Bella_

Within a minute of sending the text to Edward, I felt my phone buzz again with his response.

_Hey, what are friends for?_

_It's not like you need beauty s__leep anyway._

_Sleep tight._

_Edward_

The fact that he said I didn't need beauty sleep put me on a huge high. I drifted back to sleep thinking about different things we could do together.

--

One minute I was dreaming blissfully about a certain green eyed angel, the next I'm waking with an abrupt start. I looked around me, instinctively looking for Alice, who had formed the habit of jarring me from sleep rather rudely. But Alice was gone. I glanced at my alarm clock and it read 11:27 am. Holy shit, how had I been asleep for so long? And what made me wake up so suddenly? My only guess was that Alice was feeling generous today after my little break down. But my body had been so accustomed to her wake up calls that I just anticipated something. As I got up, I noticed a note from Alice resting on my desk.

_Bella, aka sleepy head,_

_It's about time you woke up! We're all over at the boys' place. So hurry that pretty little ass of yours and get over here._

I was actually amazed she hadn't waited til I woke up so she could help me get ready.

_And don't worry; I already picked out an outfit for you! Now hurry and get a move on!_

_Alice_

I was practically shaking with the excitement of seeing Edward as I walked to his apartment. I just couldn't get over the knowledge that we were on speaking terms, and the texts last night were a little surreal. I stood outside his door and was about to knock when I heard Alice yell.

"come on in Bella, it's open!" how the hell did she know I was outside?

"Finally!" Emmett started laughing at me when I frowned at him. "How much sleep does one person need? I mean, you're pretty runty, how much energy do you really need to restore?"

Rosalie, as usual, just hit Emmett which made us ll laugh. I scanned around the living room and noticed it was void of a certain bronze haired god.

"Where's Edward?" Why did I ask that?! Everyone exchanged knowing looks. I blushed terribly and was just recovering when he walked out, hair slightly damp and looking sinfully good in low slung jeans and a pale blue polo. He stretched his arms up and I caught the tiniest bit of his lower abs. I could just barely make out the V they made, peeking out from where his boxers sat, also low on his hips. The red rushed back to my face with a vengeance.

"What's up?" Edward looked around the room, finally resting his eyes on me. He gave me a little nod and one corner of his lips tweaked up in a smile.

"It seems Edward is just barely getting up and ready for the day too. That is so weird Edward, you never sleep in. It's just such a waste of your precious time, right?" Alice jeered at him.

"Oh shut up short stuff. I couldn't sleep last night."

"Something on your mind, brother dearest?" That wicked smile was back on Alice's face. Edward shut his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose in annoyance. Rosalie smirked at me. And Emmett, well, Emmett just looked lost. Poor guy, he was out of it.

"Well, if you guys are done being all secretive and stuff, can we get going? I'm bored!" Emmett sounded whiney, clearly wanting to be a part of things.

"What are we doing?" I asked Alice as we all left the apartment.

"We decided on a movie and dinner afterwards." So we all walked out to the parking lot. Edward must've been walking towards his car because Emmett cut him off.

"Uh uh little bro. we're taking my car again. You're car is just too _little. _It'll never get the job done. We definitely need my _big_ car to get this party started."

"My car is not little. And it does just fine, thank you very much. Besides, I've never had any complaints." It didn't sound like they were talking about cars anymore.

"Children," Alice shouted out, "why don't you just whip em out and measure already?" Edward gave her an uneasy smile while Emmett roared with laughter.

I heard Edward mumble "not little" as we walked to Emmett's hummer.

"Shot gun!" I heard Rosalie yell as we got in sight of the car. That left me, Alice, Jasper, and Edward in the back seat. Just great. And of course Alice maneuvered it so Edward and I sat next to each other. Admittedly, it was nice being so close to him.

"Did you get to enjoy the rest of your beauty sleep?" He said it so quietly only I could hear.

"I did, thanks for asking. I'm sorry you had a hard time sleeping though. Are you ok?"

"Yeah, just had a lot on my mind is all." He turned his entire body towards me and unleashed that dazzling crooked smile again. I lost all sense of my surroundings as I tried unsuccessfully to not stare at him. I thought looking at his smile was dangerous, so I moved up to his eyes. But when I saw those emeralds sparkle and smolder at the same time, I knew I was a goner. I didn't even realize we had reached the movie theater already until I felt Alice poke the back of my head.

"Hello? Earth to Bella? Were you planning on joining us anytime soon or would you rather us just fill you in on the movie plot later?" Damn my body's reactions. My face flushed again, and it was so bad I didn't think it would ever die down. Edward laughed softly and got out of the car. When I turned to Alice she just rolled her eyes, as if saying "I knew it" and got out too.

We all decided on _The Dark Night _which I had been looking forward to watching. Again, Edward and I were sitting next to each other on the end of the aisle. We were all just messing around, throwing popcorn at each other and talking about school, when the lights dimmed and the previews started. The light and carefree air about us changed, or at least for me it did. I was suddenly hyper aware of Edward sitting just inches from me. I was sitting ramrod straight in my chair, trying very hard to not accidentally brush up against him. I risked a peek out of the corner of my eye and noticed Edward looked just as uncomfortable.

Just when I thought it couldn't get any worse, the movie started. I knew this batman would be darker but I was not expecting to be so thoroughly creeped out. Quite frankly, I was scared out of my mind. And unfortunately for me, when I watch scary things, I have the tendency to grab on to the closest person to me. Alice, on my right, was practically sitting in Jasper's lap she was so scared. That left Edward. And I wasn't about to break down and grab onto him. I just couldn't. I felt it would be crossing our newly found friendship boundaries. So instead, I just clutched onto the armrests with so much force that when the movie ended I had a hard time moving my fingers.

"What was that all about?" Edward asked when the lights came back on.

"Oh.." I forced out a shaky laugh. "You noticed that, did you? Well Heath Ledger's Joker really scared me. I mean, clowns in general are just really freaky, so that didn't help the situation out at all." I can't believe I just told him about my phobia of clowns. It was just too easy to blurt out things to Edward.

"Scared of clowns huh? If you were that scared, you could've held on to me. At least I could tell you to ease up if you were hurting me. Those poor armrests though, they were just defenseless." I probably should've been offended or something, but all I could think was _he told me to hold on to him! He told me to hold on to him! _I stored that bit away for future reference.

I was starting to worry about my decreasing funds, what with buying Edward unnecessary items, movie tickets and now dinner, I was running low. I needed to really stick to my college budget or I'd have to start working earlier than I had planned. I knew I'd need a job, I just wanted to wait until after the semester was over.

"Hey guys, where are we going to eat?" I was nervous. Please let it be McDonalds or some other inexpensive fast food place.

"Mmm. It's called Flat Top Grill. It's so good Bella. It's a build your own stirfry place and you can do all you can eat. My kind of place!" Emmett was practically drooling at the thought of the food he was about to eat. I laughed, but I was worried again. It sounded a little pricey.

Edward must've noticed my expression because he spoke softly to me again.

"Don't worry friend, I got you covered." I was about to object but he went on. "I really do feel bad about you spending your money on me, especially when I didn't need any of it. Plus I did kinda eat most of your soup. So I owe you." After he put it that way…

"Ok, but just this once. I don't like people spending money on me. But you did hog my Panera, so after this we'll call it even, ok?"

"Sounds good to me."

Dinner _was _good. In fact, it was down right amazing. I had never been to a restaurant quite like it before. I loved that I could basically create my own dish. And every time I wanted to get up for more I could try something different.

Emmett was an eating machine. I don't know how he packed away all that food. And I was reminded of the one Simpsons' episode where Homer gets kicked out of an all you can eat seafood buffet. I was waiting for management to do the same thing to Emmett. They probably lost money on how much he consumed.

Before I knew it, the night was over. Despite the fact that I had slept in so late, or maybe it was because of that, I was dead tired. The Cullens and Hales really wiped me out. Alice and I said goodbye to everyone and made our way back to the dorms.

I kept my phone by my side in case Edward decided to text me again tonight. Before I could fall into a deep sleep, I was rewarded.

_Sweet dreams, Sleeping Beauty,_

_Edward_

**And in case any of you were wondering, flat top is a real place, as is everything i mention. it is so yummy. unfortunately for me, i don't live in chicago anymore, so part of the fun of writing this story is reminiscing about all the places i miss!**

**if you like it, review it!**

* * *


	11. Chapter 11

**a/n: not stephenie meyer. i seriously shouldn't have to tell any of you tht. **

**also, i don't usually do this, but i wanted to give a shout out to some faithful reviewers. thanks to icefang7, grtchn, shwriteme, IloveJasperWhitlock for the regular compliments and encouragement. but major kudos to carmelinagunn who not only is super great bc she mentioned her fave part of my story but also has an amazing story you should all check out, seriously one of my faves. sorry i didn't mention everyone of you who reviewed, if i did that, i'd be here awhile. but if you like seeing your name up here, then keep reviewing. is that a shameless ploy to get you to review? kinda. **

**so, my longest chapter so far! another late update due to extenuating circumstances. and i'm not sure how i like this one. i like bits and pieces but i had a hard time putting it all together for whatever reason. please let me know what you think bc i'm having doubts about it people!**

I was starting to regret not doing my work on Friday night. Even though I needed the girly time with Alice, now I was stuck doing everything on Sunday. To make matters worse, I found myself having to reread things, sometimes 3 times before the information sunk in. And it was all due to _him. _Edward and his unreal good looks were infiltrating my mind. My mind kept returning to these damned texts too. Stupid Edward Cullen and his stupid, sweet text messages.

Ironically, my biology readings were the hardest to get through. Even though I knew the material, I felt it was a good refresher for the upcoming test, plus Alice was a little lost and kept asking questions, so I needed to be prepared to answer her. Why, God, why did Edward have to be my TA? Was this some kind of cruel cosmic joke?

"I don't know about you, but I need a break!" I turned to Alice, only to find her texting, probably to Jasper I guessed.

"Huh?"

"Nevermind. Tell Jasper I said hi." She smiled at me and resumed her conversation.

I checked my phone. It was becoming a bad habit of mine. Ever since Edward's and mine's exchanges through texting had started, I found myself eagerly anticipating more. But I hadn't heard anything from him all day.

I was starting to doubt whether Alice knew what she was talking about. She kept stating Edward's attraction for me as fact, but his lack of action spoke louder than words.

I found myself falling helplessly into an increasingly dark mood. I can't believe I was letting that stupid guy have such an effect on me. I couldn't go back to reading feeling like this.

"Alice, I think I'm gonna go to sleep early tonight."

"Oh, ok. That's too bad because I was just about to suggest going to the boys' place. Are you sure you wouldn't rather do that?" she smirked at me.

"No, I'm really not in the mood. But you go have fun." Though I really did want to see Edward, I didn't want to admit that and possibly admit to Alice that not seeing him was the source of my crabbiness.

"Okaaay. I might not come home tonight so I'll see you tomorrow in class?"

"Yeah see ya." So Alice left and I was alone with my thoughts. I needed to take my mind off of everything.

It had been awhile since I'd talked to Charlie. He wasn't much for talking on the phone, so I decided to send him an email. It was much needed, since I still had no idea where I'd be spending the holidays. It was at times like this that having divorced parents was most challenging.

_Hey Dad!_

_Just thought I'd check up on you. I hope everything's great. How's the weather (haha, like I need to ask)? School's going great and I'm loving Evanston and all the cool things to do here!_

_By the way, I don't know if you've talked to Renee about this, but am I spending Christmas with her or you? Thanksgiving break is too short for me to travel so I'll just spend it here. Don't worry, it won't be too bad by myself. _

_Anyway, get back to me whenever you can!_

_Lots of love, Bella_

Writing the email helped a little, but I was still cranky. I got ready for bed and tried unsuccessfully to sleep, to give my overworked brain a break. I tossed and turned for what seemed like hours. I was about to give up and turn the lights on to read something when my phone buzzed.

I lunged at it, and in my haste to grab it, knocked it off my desk, further away from my reach. As I tried to reach down for it, I got tangled in my comforter and fell face first. It didn't help that my bed was raised on cinder blocks, making the fall that much farther. After making contact with the ground, it took me a minute to recover. My head was throbbing and I reached up to touch what would most certainly be a bump in the morning. Ow. What is wrong with me? Just trying to get out of bed was fraught with peril.

I must've been sitting there for awhile, just zoning out, not snapping out of it until I felt my phone vibrate again. Oh right! Edward!

_Dearest Friend_

_Why didn't you come with Alice?_

_I missed you!_

_Edward_

The whole friend bit was getting old. I don't know if he did it to get under my skin or if he truly liked calling me a friend. Either way I was annoyed.

_Bella, are you ok?_

_I didn't wake you did I?_

_Alice said you were sleeping_

_But I didn't believe her._

_Edward_

I knew I had to respond quickly before he freaked out.

_I'm fine._

_I just fell and hit my head kinda hard._

_Bella_

After I hit send I regretted telling him about my accident. Even through texts I found it impossible to censor my words. I was mentally slapping myself when my phone rang. I looked at the caller id and almost fell out of bed again when I saw it was Edward.

"Hello?" my voice was shaking.

"Bella, I just got your text. Are you ok? What happened?" Wow. He was so worried he called. Though I felt stupid for telling him about my little incident, it had pushed him to make the final leap from texting to actually talking on the phone.

"Hello? Bella, can you hear me?" His voice sounded frenzied now.

"Oh. Yeah. Sorry. Don't worry, I'm fine. I just fell is all."

"How?" Ugh, I didn't feel like sharing details. That was too embarrassing.

"Hmm.. oh I dunno. It was nothing, just a klutzy moment."

"Bella, I need you to tell me so I know if I can relax or nt. You seem to have knack for this kind of thing. I need to know you're ok."

"I said I was fine."

"Bella.." It sounded like a warning.

"Fine! The sound of my phone going off when you texted me the first time kinda scared me and I knocked the phone to the ground." Almost true. He didn't need to know the real reason. "And when I bent down to pick it up I got tangled up and fell."

I heard his soft laughter now. Thank God he couldn't see me. I was ten different shades of red at this point.

"Do you need me to come over and check your head? You might have a concussion. Any other person I wouldn't worry about, but with you, who knows what kind of damage you could've inflicted."

"Thanks, _Dr. Cullen. _But I'm fine. I've had enough experiences with head injuries to know if I have a concussion or not." There was a very poignant pause before Edward spoke again.

"Dr. Cullen huh? I like the sound of that." His smooth voiced response, slightly lower in tone than usually, made me shudder at doctor fantasies starring Edward. But he could not know that.

"Alright, doc. Thanks for the concern, but I'm a-ok." There. I couldn't say the word "doc" without thinking about Bugs Bunny. "So you missed me huh?" Did I really just say that?

"Well I have to admit, saving you has kinda become an ego boost for me. Nothing like saving a damsel in distress to make you feel good about yourself."

"I am not a damsel in distress. I did survive just fine without your help!"

"Maybe that was true in Phoenix, but for whatever reason, your well being is in need of major assistance here."

We talked for about 45 minutes, until I yawned loudly and Edward told me it was time for sleep.

"So, I guess I'll see you tomorrow in class?" I questioned it because I wasn't sure.

"You can count on it."

So once again, I drifted to a peaceful sleep with thoughts of Edward to occupy my dreams.

--

The first part of my classes on Monday were a blur. I couldn't wait til biology where I could see Edward. I didn't even wait for Alice anymore. I just walked to the last row and took our usual seats. I sat in the seat one in, leaving the end open for her.

I turned my head away for a minute, searching for Edward, when I felt someone sit next to me. I knew it wasn't Alice by the sound of someone plopping down, much too ungraceful for the little pixie.

"Sorry, this seat is taken. I'm saving it for my friend." I stated the fact before I even bothered to look at the person.

"So I'm not your friend anymore?" I turned to see a vision of bronze hair and green eyes sitting to my left.

"Edward!" He had the cutest fake sad pout on his lips, which made them even more irresistible. If I was less of a lady, I would've just thrown myself on his lips. "What are you doing here?"

"Well, I am a TA, have you forgotten?" He just shook his head and laughed at me.

"No, what I meant was, why are you sitting here? You usually go up front."

"Oh." His expression went from happy to sad in less than five seconds. "I can go if you'd like."

"NO!" I practically screamed it at him. "It was just a surprise, a good surprise." That crooked smile that had been haunting my dreams was back.

"Alright then."

"But you'll probably want to scoot in one so Alice can have the outside." I went back to scanning the lecture hall, this time for my tiny friend.

"Um…I don't think she'll be in class today. She had a rather, er, late night." Ew. I suddenly felt very sorry for Edward. He did, after all, have to sleep just down the hall from Jasper.

"Did you get any sleep? Or did they keep you up?"

"I ended up wearing headphones and listening to music to block out the sound." Edward looked really disturbed at recalling the memory of his best friend and sister. It was hilarious to me and when I couldn't keep the giggles in anymore, Edward just glared at me.

"I think it's time to be quiet. We should probably stop talking so we can pay attention."

"I guess, if you really want to stop talking…" He then, unleashed the single most devastating look I had seen. His head was slightly tilted down and I noticed him look up at me through his impossibly long lashes. They were swimming with different emotions I had a hard time placing. His lips though, were killing me. He was chewing on one side of his bottom lip. I was jealous of his mouth then. I wanted to be the one nibbling on his bottom lip.

I couldn't think straight, my mind having effectively been turned to mush. All I could do was smile back. Edward must've taken this as a good sign because he leaned in closer then and whispered in my ear.

"Good. Because I don't know how I'd get through class without talking to you. It's not like this class is really important anyway." He was teasing me, that much was clear. Well two can play this game. I leaned in close to talk, definitely not wanting anyone to overhear.

"How do you know it isn't important? Listening to your dad is my new favorite past time. I mean, look at him! Maybe I should've sat in front with the other girls to get a better look."

Wow, the look on Edward's face was priceless. He was jealous! I laughed a little too loudly, people sitting nearby turned to stare at me.

"I don't see what's so funny." He released a loud, long breath through his nose.

"Edward, did you just snort at me?" That just made the laughter resurface. "I was _joking_ Edward. I am not attracted to your dad! Give me a break. Out of all the Cullens to choose from, he would definitely not be number one."

"So who would be number one?" Oh crap.

"Hm…Alice I guess. She's pretty hot." He just wrinkled his nose at me. Again, a fresh wave of laughter rolled through me.

"Oh Edward, it's too easy getting you all riled up." I reached over and playfully punched his arm. He grabbed hold of my hand before I could retract it. That warm tingling feeling was back, settling in the pit of my stomach. I would've thought he'd let go of it by now but he didn't. Instead he softly brushed the back of it with his thumb, tracing small circles all around it. I was on the brink of combustion when Edward let go.

"I almost forgot, how's your head?" He reached up and gingerly touched my forehead, looking for a bump. Huh, had my head been bothering me before? Because now all I could think of was his touch, setting me on fire. It was quite a pleasant burning though.

"Oh, it feels great." The sincerity in my voice was clear, but he still looked doubtful.

For the rest of class Edward and I talked and joked about different things. Emmett seemed to be a popular topic. I hadn't realized how close we were leaning into each other until Dr. cullen's booming voice broke through with an announcement.

"As some of you remember, we are offering an exam for students looking to test out of the class. I wanted to inform you all of the date and time. The exam will take place next Monday at 9:00am sharp. The proctor cannot allow anyone in after the test begins and it cannot be rescheduled so make sure if you want to take it, you are there on time!"

Oh, I had forgotten about the test. I really didn't want to have to take this class but now that Edward and I were getting closer, I would miss seeing him in class. Who's to say we'd talk much if he didn't have to see me 3 days a week? I turned to ask Edward if he knew what the test was like. I was surprised to find him openly staring at me.

"What?"

"Are you planning on taking that test?" his voice was rough and grittier than I was used to.

"Oh, well, yeah. I mean, why would I stay in a class if I didn't need to, right?"

"Yeah, I guess you're right. I'm sure you'll do well on it. Then you won't have to suffer through this class." He tried to smile but it came out as more a grimace.

"I'm not suffering through it. In fact, today was the most fun I've had since class started."

"Just don't let Alice hear that. She would be hurt." Edward smiled at me then, but it still looked off.

Class ended shortly then, and with it all excitement. I hated the fact that my first semester was filled with a lot of pointless, at least in my opinion, gen. ed. Courses. I just wanted to get to those classes that truly interested me.

I made it home to find Alice in bed.

"Are you still recovering from last night?!"

"How'd you know about that?" she sounded surprised but not embarrassed like I would've thought.

"Edward told me about it. Poor guy. You know he had to put headphones in to block you and Jasper out?"

"When did you talk to Edward?" I found that to be a dumb question. Did she forget he was in our bio lecture?

"He came and sat by me in bio."

"Aw! How cute! Did you two hold hands and write love notes?" she was clapping her hands now.

"Shut up Alice." But I couldn't help the smile that overtook most of my face.

"Edward and Bella, sittin in a tree. K-I-S-S-I-N-G…"

"What are you, 5 years old Alice? Now if you'll excuse me, I need to check my email."

I sat down to my computer and Alice still chanting that annoying song. I ended up wearing my headphones to block her out. I smiled a little, knowing Edward had to do the same to block out his sister, though for much different reasons. How could someone so tiny be so hugely annoying and loud?

I saw a reply from Charlie in my inbox and opened it.

_Hey Bells,_

_It was good to hear from you. You'd be surprised to hear this but the last couple of days have been sunny! Great fishing weather._

_I don't' know if Renee told you or not, but Phil is apparently going to travel to Florida in December for some baseball convention and Renee's going with. So she won't be in Arizona for Christmas. If you'd like to, you can spend it with me in Forks. Don't worry about a plane ticket, I already got you covered._

_As far as Thanksgiving goes, you know you don't have to spend it alone. John and Jan are there! Speaking of which, they've been asking about you. Why don't you go see them this weekend? I know John is dying to see Roxanne, I mean you. Haha. But seriously, call them please Bella. You know they love you._

_Dad_

I let out a soft sigh. I knew this was coming. I really did want to spend time with my aunt and uncle but in all honestly, I was holding out hope that Edward was going to maybe ask me out this weekend. We had been getting so close and he had all of class to ask me without Alice's interference. He didn't though, so it seemed like a lost cause.

I called and Jan picked up after only a few rings. When I asked if I could come visit, she was through the roof.

"Of course! It'll be so nice to have you stay with us. Plus, our neighbors have some kids around your age. You could always introduce yourself if you get bored hanging out with us two old geezers."

"C'mon Jan. I wouldn't get bored! I mean, Charlie is my dad. If I can handle hanging out with him, I can handle anything." She knew it wasn't meant s4eriously, just a fun poke at Charlie.

So we set it up, I planned on leaving Friday evening. It wasn't a far drive at all, but they wanted me there for dinner. I was happy to oblige, no dorm food!

I still felt a little nervous, wondering if Edward would call and ask me out but when Monday came and went with no call or text from Edward, I was glad I had made plans with my aunt and uncle.

--

Tuesdays were a light day for me. I was glad, because I planned on getting ahead in my classes a little bit. I didn't know how much work I'd get done at my aunt and uncle's.

Just as I was getting into it, my phone rang. My heart stopped for a brief moment, anticipating the sight of "Edward" flashing on the caller id. But it didn't. it read "Emmett" instead. What the hell?

"Hello?" I knew my voice sounded disappointed.

"Well, hello to you too." Emmett laughed at me and I couldn't help but smile. His good mood was infectious.

"What's up?" I had no idea what he could possibly want.

"Well, a little birdie told me that you're an English major and I'm looking for someone to proof read my paper. So, what do you think?"

"Of course, Em, I'd love to. Do you want me to come over now?" I was excited at a possible Edward sighting.

"Ye..no. I uh, can just, erm, come over there if that's ok. My place is really messy."

"Ok, sure no problem." I highly doubted that was the real reason. While I could imagine Emmett being sloppy, I could not see Edward or Jasper letting the place get that way. My only other idea was that Edward didn't want me over. And that was a horrible feeling. I've said it before and I'll say it again, I just don't get Edward.

Emmett came over shortly after our conversation on the phone. I got through his paper pretty quickly and surprisingly it wasn't bad.

"Good job Em!" I handed the paper back with only minimal mark ups.

"Thanks Bella. Hey listen, what's going on with you and Edward?" That question took me by surprise.

"What do you mean? We're friends, why?" I was suspicious. Was this the real reason for coming over?

"Well, it's just that, anyone with eyes and ears can tell you both totally want each other. So what's the deal? Why aren't you guys together yet?"

"God, Emmett, I have no idea what you're talking about. Edward and I are just good friends. I don't want him and I know for a fact he doesn't want me."

I really wish my body could just cool it with the blushing. I was trying my best to lie without being caught, a feat hard enough without the unwillingly reddening of my face. Was I that obvious? It was a disturbing thought. If Emmett could tell, when he's kind of not all the way there all the time, then Edward for sure saw it. I felt like a fool. I would have to do better at not wearing my emotions on my sleeves.

"Bella? Bella!" Emmett was shouting my name now. Oops. Those damn inner monologues were always distracting me. "Don't freak out. I know you're embarrassed, and you might not believe me, but Edward totally has the hots for you. And why wouldn't he? You're a grade A babe. Didn't you know?" he flashed me a toothy grin, showing off his adorable dimples.

"Aww, Emmett, c'mon." I don't think my face could take anymore blood rushing to it.

"All I'm saying is, trust me. And it might be helpful if you made a move. Edward's pretty dense and he sometimes needs a swift kick in the rear to get him going. Just remember that ok?" He got up and left with his paper in hand, leaving me wondering if all he said could be true.

I know I kept hearing it from Alice, and now Emmett, but I still had a hard time believing someone as handsome as Edward could be interested in me. I was rather plain, and I've seen the type of girls that look at him, the sexy ones. I don't know how I stood a chance. Still, I told myself before I came out to Illinois that I would try and be more confident. So, I decided to make a "move" on Edward. It was a rather weak one, but still an accomplishment for me.

_I'm looking forward to sitting _

_Next to you tomorrow in class!_

_;) Bella_

--

Biology was my new favorite class now that I sat with both Alice and Edward. Alone they were funny, together they were hilarious! We were laughing so loud during Wednesday's lecture that I noticed even Carlisle look back in our direction. Normally I would feel guilty, but I was with the professor's children.

"Remember that one time Emmett dared you to ask mom what and where the clitoris is?" Alice was laughing so hard she had tears in her eyes.

"Oh my god, don't remind me. Esme almost fainted. And then I had to suffer through dad's "sex talk." Little did he know I had heard plenty of that from Emmett."

"Yeah, but at least you got Em back."

"What did you do?" I wasn't sure if I wanted to know. If the punishment fit the crime, I'm sure it was deviously good.

"Well, a few months later Emmett came and asked me to help him make a mix tape of songs for his girlfriend. They hadn't been dating long, so she didn't really know him well. And he wanted all the songs to be sweet and romantic." Edward and Alice started shaking with laughter.

"Well?"

"So some of the songs were not so…innocent." He started listing off a few: Tenacious D's "Fuck Her Gently," 504 Boyz "I Can Tell," and David Banner's "Play." I laughed too. I happened to know all three of those songs, and all three are filthy, raunchy songs.

"Needless to say," Alice started, "his girlfriend dumped him. I mean honestly, I'm sure Emmett was thinking all those things anyway, but he didn't want her to know that yet!"

Seriously, having those two in class with you was the only way to get through lecture. It was the highlight of my day, the rest being pretty tame in comparison.

Thursday, like Tuesday, was an easy day for me. Unfortunately I didn't have much of anything to do. I was rereading _The Time Traveler's Wife, _one of my new favorites, while Alice painted her toenails. My phone started ringing. I didn't really think much of it; Edward hadn't called or text me in awhile. So when I saw it was him calling, I felt a little light headed.

"Hello?"

"Hey Bella, what's up?" He sounded kind of on edge.

"Well, I'm just sitting around reading a book. I'm kind of bored actually." Take a hint Edward, ask me to do something.

"I'm sorry to hear that. If I wasn't so swamped with homework, I'd come keep you entertained." It's amazing how just hearing him say that turned me on. I let out a little nervous giggle. Alice heard and gave me a questioning look.

"That is too bad." I didn't know what else to say. _So what? Come over anyway and ravage me, please?_ I think not.

"But, I do have the weekend to look forward to." He stopped for a minute and cleared his throat. "You see, I was kind of wondering, maybe if you want to, I mean it might be fun if.."

"Spit it out Cullen." At this point Alice had joined me on my bed. Her eyes were wide and her eyebrows had almost disappeared behind her bangs.

"Do you wanna get together and do something this weekend?"

"Are you asking me out on a date?"

"If you want it to be." He sounded a little dejected.

"That sounds nice." I was so busy thinking about Edward and I on a date together that I completely forgot about my plans to stay with my aunt and uncle.

"Great! I was thinking…"

"Oh shit, Edward. I can't. I'm really sorry but I forgot I already promised to spend the weekend with my aunt in uncle. I'm really sorry." I didn't know how else to get across the point that I desperately wanted to go out on a date with him.

"Oh. I see. Well…have fun then. I should be going, ya know, get back to all that homework."

"Wait, Edward.." I had to make him understand.

"I'll talk to you later, bye." He hung up. Shit.

"BELLA!" Alice was shouting and jumping on my bed.

"I know. What the hell was he thinking waiting so long to ask me though? I can't just go back and say nevermind to my aunt and uncle. They'd be really disappointed."

"You're right, of course. Edward was never the best with his timing. Don't worry though, it'll all work out. I'll try and defuse the situation while you're gone. I'll make him see the light, and he _will_ ask you out again, mark my words."

"Thanks for the help." I was so bummed out that night. I had a hard time sleeping. If I could just try talking to Edward again, maybe he would know how bad I felt.

_Edward_

_You know if I didn't already have plans_

_I would be hanging out with you this weekend, right?_

_Bella_

I thought that sounded good. He couldn't be mad or disappointed still, could he?

_It's fine. I just thought it would be fun_

_Ya know, a nice __friendly __outing._

_But we can get together whenever,_

_What are friends for?_

_Your friend, Edward_

How many times could he possibly squeeze the word friend in? Maybe I had misjudged his intentions. I felt the tears stinging my eyes. I'm so stupid. I knew he couldn't like me. I knew I was right. I'll never listen to Alice or anyone else again.

--

Friday was by far the hardest day to get through. I was not looking forward to my weekend anymore. For the briefest of moments, I had thought Edward had wanted me. It was a nice feeling. Now I was left feeling awkward and confused by our whole situation. Did he realize that I liked him? Is that why he sent that text? Would he act differently around me?

Yes he would. Lab was excruciating. It went by so slowly I felt like time was going backwards. Edward told us all that we would be using the time to study and prepare for an upcoming exam (not the test being offered on Monday). I didn't crack my book the whole time. I just sat and stared at Edward, willing myself to be able to read his mind. What I wouldn't give to know what he was thinking right now. He in turn, would look up from his laptop to look at me every so often. He would always give me a rather weak smile and return to whatever it was he was doing.

At one point, that blonde boy that sat in front of me turned around to talk to me.

"Hi Bella, how's your week been?" I found it slightly annoying that he remembered my name from our introductions at the beginning of the semester. I know it sounds hypocritical, since I remembered he was called Mike, but to my defense, I have a good memory. There was just something slightly creepy about him knowing my name. He seemed nice enough, so I don't know what my problem was.

"It's been alright. Mike, right?" His face cracked into a massive grin. He was mildly attractive I guess. It was just hard to think of anyone else when there was a god in the same room. And Mike's smile was no where near as breath taking as Edward's.

"Yeah, hey you remembered! I was wondering if maybe you'd like to do something this weekend. We could study for the exam if you'd like." At that question, I noticed Edward's head snap up. He glared at Mike then turned his eyes on me. He was waiting to hear my answer.

"I'm sorry, but I have plans for this weekend, I'm visiting with family."

"That's alright, sometime later then, yeah? We could do whatever. I'm sure we'd have a fun time together."

Mike didn't look too disappointed, like he thought if I didn't have a prior commitment I would be hanging out with him. I needed to make sure he did not reserve hope for that. Even if Edward didn't want me that way, I would never be able to settle for anyone else.

"Yeah, I don't know about that Mike. See I'm kind of just trying to focus on school right now. I'm not really looking to start anything with anyone. You understand though, right?"

"Oh, yeah sure I guess so." Now he looked disappointed. Good.

Edward must've heard me too. His eyes were closed and he had his fingers held up to the bridge of his nose again, pinching there to relieve some tension from who knows what. When he opened his eyes, he looked me straight in the eyes and I suddenly felt so exposed, like he was trying to look deep inside me. It was a little unsettling.

When class was over I got up as quickly as possible without offending Mike. I walked over to Edward to talk to him.

"Have fun this weekend." That's all he said and he was out the door.

Alice and I walked slowly home. I don't know if it was my bad mood that was bringing her down or what. But she wasn't her normal bouncy self.

"Hey Alice, you live in Hyde Park right?"

"Yeah why?"

"Well, I was wondering if you could help give me directions to my aunt and uncle's place. I don't' really remember how to get there."

"But of course my dear." I gave her the address and I noticed a little gleam in her eyes. I had her write the directions down, just in case. The entire time she just mumbled under her breath. And I noticed her normal chipper self return.

She helped me pack, trying to stuff the most random articles of clothing in my bag. I tried to reason with her. I wouldn't need anything more than some sweats and my pile of dirty clothes, since my aunt and uncle so graciously offered up the use of their washer and dryer.

"You never know, Bella. You should always be prepared."

I was finally ready to go around 5:00pm. Alice helped drag down my dirty clothes to the truck. She hugged me goodbye and I got in, ready to leave. As I drove away she waived and shouted out to me.

"Have fun this weekend! I'll see you soon!"

* * *

**so another sorta cliffie. again, if you want more show some love! also, for those songs i mentioned, it helps if you're at least a little familiar with them to get how funny they would be on a mix tape for a new girlf. the tenacious d song is so crudely hilarious. and the other two are just dirty. i could so see emmett singing tenacious d. thanks everyone!**

* * *


	12. Chapter 12

**a/n: not sm. **

**sorry it took longer than i expected to update. i got rather busy, studying for an exam i had to take on wednesday. so please accept my humble apologies. **

**shout outs go to: VanessaHW, manyafandom, ILoveJasperWhitlock, I.am.BellaCullen, MelissaTheTwilightFan, Mdots, icefang7,distorted realities, Michelle62092, edwardandbellabelong2gether, stardust1989, bringmeback, justm, ivmar2990, and carmelinagunn for the reviews last chapter. and thanks to all of you who put me on alert, there are too many to list here. **

**longest chapter yet, oh and it's a special treat, EPOV for you to enjoy. hopefully you do enjoy it.**

* * *

I don't know what made me do it, cowardice I suppose, but I'm glad I did. Faking sick to get out of TAing was the best idea I'd had. The end result was spending 3 ½ glorious hours with none other than Bella.

When she called to see how I was feeling, I actually dropped my phone from the shock of hearing her on the other end. It amazes me still how the sound of her angelic voice can evoke the most powerful emotions and reactions.

Up until that phone call, I had no idea Alice had kept my overnight stay with Bella a secret. A large part of me was grateful that my normally gossipy sister had kept her mouth shut. I didn't want Bella to know because I wasn't sure if I wanted to admit my feelings for her yet. But then there was the part of me that was disappointed. Alice blew the chance to show me off as the chivalrous guy I am.

I hadn't realized anything could top hearing Bella's sweet voice call me until I opened my front door and found her waiting there, for me! Granted, I found out it was all a ruse, to call me out on lying about being sick. But she had played her part well; even buying cold medicine and chicken soup. Funny enough, the chicken soup sat cold and forgotten while Bella and I shared her broccoli cheddar soup. I secretly reveled in the fact that we shared the same favorite meal at Panera. It just proved how great we were for each other.

That visit with Bella proved to be an important one. She found out that I had stayed with her all night long. She seemed really surprised, then worried at the possibility of embarrassing herself. I couldn't let her know that I had heard her say my name in her sleep, even if it did please me immensely. Though I had a hard time keeping the smile off my face, so I don't know if she believed me. I had to know if she liked the cd. Some of those songs were mine after all. When she wondered at the composer, I had to try really hard not to brag. It's not that I'm an overly proud person, but I wanted to impress Bella so badly. From the look on her face, I _had _impressed her. And I found myself biting the inside of my cheek to keep from smiling at her.

Her visit was also important because I found out more about the girl I was fast falling for. Most important: she was single. She didn't have anyone waiting for her at home. Though, the way she spoke of her ex made me wonder. Something in her voice sounded so pained and it made me think that whatever had happened between her old boyfriend had been bad. I had to change the subject before the past could affect the present. So I asked her just everyday questions that I still wanted to know. Her favorite color was green, an admittance that made her blush. I was dying to ask what that was about, but thought better of it. I didn't want to embarrass her right after the topic of significant others.

It seemed that Bella was very into music. She was probably the closest to rivaling me in that category. And I was amazed at her favorites. I always felt you could tell a lot about a person based on their musical preferences. It was nice to know that Bella had a deep soul while still enjoying herself. Brand New was one of my favorite bands as well, and I knew they were coming into town soon. I hoped she would go with me. One of my favorite things to do was go to concerts, something I hadn't done in awhile due to my extreme school schedule. But I would definitely make time to go with Bella.

When Alice called, successfully ending my time with Bella, I knew she'd have a million questions for my brown eyed beauty. Time moved too quickly when I was with her. I resented the fact that my baby sister, who already saw Bella more often than me due to their room assignments, was stealing away my own personal Aphrodite once more.

But Bella's parting words caught me off guard. Her use of the word "friends" was confusing. Was that all she wanted from me? Did she view our budding relationship as friendly? Is that the vibe I had been sending her all evening? I hadn't thought so. I found myself doubting any possible feelings Bella may have for me. But I wouldn't give up, no, I _couldn't _give up. Her entire presence just called to me, sang out a lovely siren song, leaving me helpless. I had to touch her just once more before she left. And when I held her close to me, I thought I could sense more than just friendly emotions stirring within her.

Now that Bella was gone, I was left with nothing to do but my school work. I just couldn't concentrate on it though, something that had never happened before. I decided to go pay my best friend a visit. I knew he'd be available, seeing as how his other half was currently waiting for Bella.

I knocked lightly on Jasper's door, then opened it, not waiting for his response.

"Yeah, sure come on in Edward." I knew he hated when I did that, but I couldn't help it. Jasper wasn't often the sarcastic one of the bunch and I enjoyed seeing him that way. "To what do I owe the pleasure?"

"I just couldn't sit around and do anymore work."

You would have thought I had bitch slapped Jasper, the way he looked at me. It was annoying. Did my friends really think my whole life was consumed with solely school?

"I never thought I'd live to hear the day you'd say that, Edward." I guess they did. My hand went up to my hair, running it through and tugging slightly in an effort to release the irritation I felt. I knew it was a habit of mine, and a dead give away of just how frustrated I was.

"Dude, what's got you so worked up?" I could tell Jasper, couldn't I? I trusted him with my life. I could share this one little secret.

"Well, other than the fact that you seem to be under the impression that I breathe, eat, sleep everything school related…" here goes nothing. "I think I like Bella." Even though I had made up my mind to tell him, I couldn't help but whisper the words. I didn't know what the result of this would be.

"Excuse me, what was that?"

Ugh, I knew he heard me. Jasper's ears were almost as good as mine. He just wanted me to repeat it, or admit it is more appropriate, seeing how he and Emmett had been trying to get me to do just this for some time now.

"You heard me you jackass, I think I like Bella."

"God, it's about time you admitted it, you pussy." Now it was my turn to stare in shock. I had never heard Jasper call anyone a pussy, he thought it was demeaning.

"Do you kiss my sister with that mouth?"

"Sorry. I've been hanging out with Emmett too much. Alice is spending so much time with your _girlfriend_, and you're spending your free time pining for her. That just leaves me with Mr. Sensitive. He starts to rub off on you after awhile."

"Tell me something I don't know." We shared a brief laugh before Jasper brought the conversation back to Bella.

"So what are you going to do about it? Are you going to ask her on a date already?"

"I've thought about it, but I just don't know how to do it. She told me how glad she is that we are friends. And I don't want to overstep any boundaries and make a move that will make her uncomfortable."

"While you have a good point there, I highly doubt she just wants to be friends. She wants you so bad I can practically feel the lust roll off her body. Just man up and do it already."

"I know, but…"

"I mean, what's the worst that could happen? She says no because she just wants to be friends, so being the gentleman you are you politely agree and never mention it again, all the while having to jack off on a daily basis because you are so pent up with sexual frustration? Seriously dude, how long has it been since you've gotten any? A couple weeks by my estimation, and that's the longest I've ever known you to go without."

"God Jasper, I don't ever want to hear you talking about me and masturbation again!" Jasper started laughing at me then.

"Seriously Edward, it's so easy to rile you up. Lighten up, it was a joke. Bella won't reject you. She totally wants to ride the E-train."

"Wow. You really have been hanging out with Emmett too much."

"Tell me something I don't know." He just rolled his eyes at that.

After my little conversation with Jasper, I felt a surge of confidence. I tried really hard to fall asleep, but I couldn't get Bella off my mind. After lying in bed with no success, I decided I wanted to talk to Bella. However, it was after 2am, and I didn't want to wake her up. I could always send a text to her though, then she'd know I was thinking about her.

_Hey friend_

_Hope the library was fun_

_If you're not back at hom yet_

_Then you need to hang out _

_With some more _

_Exciting friends_

_Sweet dreams,_

_Edward_

I hope she would notice my implications. I could be a _far more_ exciting friend than Alice ever could be.

I was surprised when I got a text back from Bella, mere minutes after sending mine. I let out a nervous laugh as I opened my phone, grateful that Emmett was spending the night with Rosalie.

_No, I'm not actually_

_You woke me up from _

_My beauty sleep._

I scoffed at the thought of Bella needing beauty sleep. If she got anymore beautiful the entire male population would be in trouble. I'd definitely have more competition than I'd like. As if James wasn't enough trouble, there was that puny little Michael kid in my lab who drooled over Bella.

_Thanks a lot friend!_

_Bella_

There was that damn friend word again. Though I had used it first, twice actually now that I thought about it. Huh, maybe she was messing around with me. Better safe than sorry though.

_Hey, what are friends for?_

_It's not like you need beauty _

_Sleep anyway. Sleep tight._

_Edward_

She didn't respond after that so I figured she fell back asleep. She was lucky. Though I wanted to escape to dreams of Bella, my mind wouldn't shut down properly. It wasn't til some hours later that I finally drifted off.

I woke up later than I had since my freshman year in the dorms. Knowing Alice, I would be in trouble. I'm sure she had something planned for today. So I quickly got up, showered and 

dressed. When I walked into the living room it was to find everyone there waiting, Bella with the hint of a blush on those silken cheeks.

"What's up?" I had to rush out the question before the yawn overtook me. I stretched out my arms wide, trying to rid my body of the weariness I still felt after such a poor night's sleep. I darted my eyes over to Bella and noticed a faraway look on her face and noticed the apples of her cheeks were now the same color as the fruit. What I wouldn't give to know what went on in her mind.

"It seems Edward is just barely getting up and ready for the day too. That is so weird Edward, you never sleep in. It's just such a waste of your precious time, right?" Leave it to Alice to find as many ways possible to poke fun at me.

"Oh shut up short stuff. I couldn't sleep last night."

"Something on your mind, brother dearest?" It was too soon for Alice to be getting on my nerves this much. I was about to say something nasty in retaliation when Emmett jumped in, announcing his boredom. What's new? I swear Emmett had the worst case of ADD sometimes.

Alice had decided for us all that we were going to see _The Dark Night_ and then go out to eat afterwards. I was glad she had picked the movie, though slightly surprised. It wasn't a typical "Alice" movie. But she was always one to throw me for a loop so I didn't think much of it.

I was really looking forward to driving myself to the theater. Emmett crushed my thoughts though, damn him.

"Uh uh little bro. we're taking my car again. You're car is just too _little. _It'll never get the job done. We definitely need my _big_ car to get this party started." Oh I knew what that jerk was doing. It was payback for my comment on his hummer from some time ago. But why he chose this moment to do anything was beyond me.

Then I saw him tilt his head in Bella's direction. That fucker! While usually my brain doesn't think in profanities that strong, it was the only word I could think of to use on Emmett. Did he think he was being funny emasculating me in front of Bella? I couldn't let him get away with that. I didn't want Bella wondering if I was lacking in that department.

"My car is not little. And it does just fine, thank you very much. Besides, I've never had any complaints." I didn't want to be overly obvious. It's not my style to be so blunt about things of that nature. Hopefully Bella got the hint.

"Children, why don't you just whip em out and measure already?" Leave it to Alice to say something like that. She always had a talent for embarrassing me.

"I'm not little." I said it more to myself than anything.

Rosalie naturally called shotgun, leaving the four of us to squish in the back seat. Thank god Alice made sure Bella sat next to me. The feel of her body pressed up against my side made me relive the memory of dancing with her. The urge to wrap my arm around her was overwhelming. And I had to practically sit on my hands to keep them from acting on their own accord. I leaned into her body, just to fill my nose with her sweet scent. I didn't want to look like a creep though, so I whispered to her.

"Did you get to enjoy the rest of your beauty sleep?"

She seemed honestly concerned with the fact that I hadn't been able to sleep well. I wonder how she'd feel if she knew her alluring body was the cause. But I couldn't tell her that. That was not the type of conversation you wanted to have in a car surround by family. It was sweet of her to ask if I was ok.

"Yeah, just had a lot on my mind is all." And all of the lustful thought from the previous night returned to the forefront of my brain. How her hair, like waves of satin swung so gracefully along her back and around her face, which was so beautiful I could hardly comprehend it. How the soft swell of her breasts and the curves of her hips and ass made me crazy with passion and desire. God I had to think of something else before I was incapable of movement.

Apparently Bella was lost in her own thoughts as well, because Alice was trying with all her might to get Bella's attention. I couldn't help but laugh at the two of us, so completely oblivious to our surroundings once our minds started churning. I could only be so lucky to have Bella's thoughts involve me.

Alice's hand was involved in getting Bella and me to sit next to each other. Once the lights dimmed, I felt nervous. Again, that ever present desire to reach out and touch her took over my senses. I hardly saw any of the previews because of it. I dared not be too bold though. If I reached out to her and she shook me off, I would feel like a fool.

As the movie progressed, I noticed how Alice and Rosalie were holding on to their boyfriends for dear life, scared out of their minds. I wonder if that was Alice's intention when picking the movie. Did Bella scare easily? I looked to her and noticed her grip the arm rests tightly. I didn't think she could hold on any tighter, the skin over her knuckles already white and stretched thin. What was causing all of that tension? I had to know, so I asked once the lights came back up.

"What was that all about?"

"Oh you noticed that, did you?" I wonder if she realized just how lovely she was when she blushed. "Well Heath Ledger's Joker really scared me. I mean, clowns in general are just really freaky, so that didn't help the situation out at all." Clowns scared her? I found it oddly endearing.

"Scared of clowns huh? If you were that scared, you could've held on to me. At least I could tell you to ease up if you were hurting me. Those poor armrests though, they were just 

defenseless." Translation: next time I want to hold your hand Bella. Next time hold on to me when you're scared. I would make you feel safe.

When Emmett announced we would be eating at The Flat Top Grill, I noticed Bella's hesitation. Sometimes we took it for granted how well off we were. But I doubted Bella had the luxury of an endless amount of money at her disposal. Not everyone had grandparents who had set up trust funds for them.

"Don't worry friend, I got you covered. I really do feel bad about you spending your money on me, especially when I didn't need any of it. Plus I did kinda eat most of your soup. So I owe you." I'm glad she didn't refuse. A part of me did a little dance of joy. Somehow buying dinner for her made it seem just a little bit more like a date, even if I knew it wasn't that way at all.

The night ended much too soon for my liking. It seemed like I'd never get the chance to be alone with Bella, we were always surrounded by someone. I had to take the time to let her know I thought about her though, hopefully she'd come to the realization that being friends just wasn't good enough.

_Sweet dreams, Sleeping Beauty,_

_Edward_

--

I found myself waist deep in homework on Sunday. Putting it off on Friday was stupid, especially since I had been so busy fawning all over Bella on Saturday that I didn't accomplish anything. I so badly wanted to call her up just to hear the voice that drove all my cares and worries away. But I couldn't. I needed to get back to responsible Edward.

It was a little after 8 when Alice came walking through the door. It had become so common to find Bella right behind her, that I strained my neck trying to see her too. Alice noticed my expectant gaze.

"She's not coming over tonight, brother. She's going to bed early. Seems she's kinda in a bad mood. I think she was expecting to talk to someone today." I didn't know who that someone was, but I didn't care. If it wasn't me then it didn't matter.

"I see."

"Do you?" Alice sounded doubtful. "Because if you did really _see_ then you'd know it was _you_ she wanted to talk to today. You're so damn dense sometimes Edward. Just like Bella, you're pretty stupid for someone so smart." Alice was feisty today.

"Calm down Alice, good gracious."

"Say it Edward, just fucking say it already."

"What are you talking about?!" She was beginning to really piss me off.

"It's probably better if you just admit you like her, before Alice rips your throat out." I might as well call Jasper Benedict Arnold, that traitor.

"He admitted it to you?" Alice looked hurt at that fact.

"Yeah but just barely. You know I was going to tell you. I just hadn't had a chance yet." He clearly didn't want Alice turning her wrath on him next.

"Alright Eddie boy, when are you gonna ask her out already?" Great, now Emmett was in on it.

"Ooh, where are you going to take her? Somewhere romantic I hope. But don't get all handsy with her Edward. Be sweet. She's not one of those hoochies you're used to being with." Did Rosalie think she was the most qualified to offer up advise, the girl who slept with my brother on their first date?

Their babbling broke out into loud torrents of ideas and thoughts concerning me and Bella. Thank god she was asleep because otherwise I was afraid she'd hear it, all the way over in her dorm.

"If you could all just please SHUT UP now, that would be great." The room got silent. "Ok. Yes, I do have feelings for Bella. Are you happy now? Shall we go yell it from the rooftops?"

"Yes! Maybe then Bella would believe that you totally want her." Alice was so excited she was bouncing around on Jasper's lap and clapping joyously.

"It doesn't matter if she knows or not, it doesn't change the fact that I am no way near good enough to be with her."

"The boy never spoke a truer word." Damn Rose and her two cents.

"Edward, if I could talk to you in private." Alice got up and headed towards my room. This should be interesting. No sooner had I entered the room and closed the door than Alice had rounded on me, anticipation filling her eyes.

"When are you going to ask her out?"

"I don't know. I hadn't really planned on it, seeing how I don't know how she feels about me."

"Please, Edward, God gave you a brain for a reason, use it. She's crazy about you. Ask her out already. I bet you have ideas for your first date." I let my brain process the thought that Bella cared for me. It was possible. I could use that to fuel my decision to ask her out.

"Well, she mentioned to me that one of her favorite bands is Brand New. And they're coming to The Metro a week from Sunday. So I was thinking of inviting her to come with me."

"Hmm. It's not the typical first date. But I think it suits Bella perfectly. She's so atypical, in a good way, and she wouldn't have to worry about you spending hoards of money on her that way."

"I dunno, Alice."

"Just do us all a favor and ask her already." With that she left me alone in my room. I didn't feel like joining them anymore. I just wanted to talk to Bella, to find out if she wanted to spend time with me.

Alice had said she went to bed early, but she had also said she was in a bad mood because she wanted to talk to me all day. I didn't want to wake her up, so once again I texted her instead. Just in case she was awake, I wanted her to know that I enjoyed her company.

_Dearest Friend_

_Why didn't you come with Alice?_

_I missed you!_

_Edward_

I waited and waited for a response. Even if she had been sleeping, the sound of her phone would've woke her up, like last time. And I just figured she'd text me back like she did all the time now. Hm… maybe the text hadn't woke her up. I should send another just in case.

_Bella, are you ok?_

_I didn't wake you did I?_

_Alice said you were sleeping_

_But I didn't believe her._

_Edward_

Finally I got a response from her. She hit her head? I hope she was ok. I mean, I have never met a girl who could get into so much trouble before. I decided that a phone call was necessary now. If she was hurt then talking would probably be easier than texting. Plus, I wanted to hear her voice and now that I knew she was awake I didn't feel so bad for bothering her.

I asked her what happened and she sounded very hesitant to tell me. It couldn't be that bad, could it? After finally revealing the story, I couldn't help but let the laughter leak out some. That girl could hurt herself anyway it seemed like.

"Do you need me to come over and check your head? You might have a concussion. Any other person I wouldn't worry about, but with you, who knows what kind of damage you could've inflicted." I had laughed but I was still pretty worried.

"Thanks, _Dr. Cullen. _But I'm fine. I've had enough experiences with head injuries to know if I have a concussion or not."

Did she have any idea just how sexy that sounded? I couldn't help it. Before I knew it, I envisioned Bella in a tight fitting nurse outfit, visiting me while I did my rounds at the hospital. I could just see her drag me into the on call room, having her way with me until I was paged for my next patient. Stop it Edward, get a hold of yourself.

"Dr. Cullen huh? I like the sound of that." I noticed my voice was lower, rougher, a definite sign of my arousal.

It was cute how Bella thought she didn't need rescuing. Of course she did. She was in constant need of my saving. I planned on being there to do it too. The conversation was a lot lighter and we talked until she yawned loudly in the phone. That was my cue to let her go to sleep.

--

Monday in class, I noticed Bella sitting by herself, looking around for Alice I presumed. I decided to sneak up on her and scare her a bit. With any luck she might grab on to me. I smiled unconsciously at that.

When I went to sit down though, I was a bit louder than I planned, and Bella sensed me there without seeing me. She didn't realize it was me though, telling me to clear off before her friend came to sit.

"So I'm not your friend anymore?" The sound of my voice did startle her a little bit. It was clear to see she had not expected me to be the one sitting next to her.

Her question to as to why I was sitting next to her saddened me. Did she not want me next to her? I couldn't help feeling rejected. But then she told me it was a good surprise to find me there next to her. Good. Good was not bad. I felt better.

She was still looking for Alice so I told her about last night. She thought it was funny that I had to suffer through Alice and Jasper's escapades last night. In fact, she laughed at me! She laughed up until Carlisle started class, then stated we should be quiet and pay attention. As if I could pay attention to anything with her here. Besides, it's not like either of us needed to. I was just there for moral support for my father, and Bella already knew it all. Class wasn't important and I told her so.

"How do you know it isn't important? Listening to your dad is my new favorite past time. I mean, look at him! Maybe I should've sat in front with the other girls to get a better look."

What?! Was she really attracted to my father? I know he's good looking and most women swoon at his sight, but Bella too? If my eyes weren't already green, they sure would be now. My body filled with jealousy. To make matters worse, she laughed at me. Did she find it funny that she was more attracted to my dad than me?

"I don't see what's so funny." I couldn't help but release the long breath I had been holding out of frustration.

"Edward, did you just snort at me? I was _joking_ Edward. I am not attracted to your dad! Give me a break." Oh thank god. It wouldn't have been the first time a girl I knew had a thing for my dad. "Out of all the Cullens to choose from, he would definitely not be number one."

"So who would be number one?" Please say me.

"Hm…Alice I guess. She's pretty hot." Could she just be serious for one minute? I was getting annoyed. Why didn't she just answer the damn question!

"Oh Edward, it's too easy getting you all riled up." I guess that is true. It was the second time someone had told me that in the past few days. But before I could contemplate my issues with my temper, Bella lightly punched my arm. Oh that's it. I might be able to control myself when she keeps her hands to herself. But once she touched me, all bets were off. I grabbed her hand and held on to it lightly, enjoying her baby soft skin.

Then I remembered her head injury. I used it as an excuse to reach out and touch that heavenly face. Now that I had touched her, the floodgates had been opened. I didn't think I would be able to stop touching her.

We started talking about other things now and I found myself forgetting where we were. It didn't matter that we were surrounded by hundreds of people. I wanted to kiss her, right here, right now. I was ever so slowly leaning towards here when Carlisle spoke up, breaking the flow of energy coursing between us.

Oh, the test. How could I have forgotten about it? Bella was planning on taking it and the thought of not being able to see her in class depressed me. But maybe she'd forgo taking it, just to be with me.

"Are you planning on taking that test?" I had to know. Maybe I would get lucky.

"Oh, well, yeah. I mean, why would I stay in a class if I didn't need to, right?" I knew I shouldn't have expected her to stay in the class. But I had thought we were connecting. I thought she could like me. And maybe, just maybe, I was enough of a reason to stay in the class.

Class ended and with it hopes of me and Bella. I don't know why it hit me so strongly, but I just couldn't see her with me anymore. Why would she choose me over all the guys she would meet? And if she weren't in class anymore, would she really want to talk to me anymore?

All night long I debated calling her. But I couldn't bring myself to do it. I had been planning on inviting her to come with me to the concert, but I just felt foolish about it now.

--

Tuesday passed in a blur. I only slightly remember Alice coming over to yell at me about not having asked Bella out yet.

"Damnit Edward, cool it with the whole self loathing thing. Ask her out before it's too late!"

But no matter how many times she persisted, I couldn't. I already felt rejected enough, I didn't need to call and have it confirmed in words.

Then, before I went to sleep, I got a text from Bella.

_I'm looking forward to sitting _

_Next to you tomorrow in class!_

_;) Bella_

Maybe I would ask her out after all.

--

I wanted to talk to Bella about the concert all during class on Wednesday, but I never had the opportunity. Alice kept us talking about childhood memories. It was fun, but not what I wanted to do. Bella was less focused on me now that Alice was here too.

Later that day proved to be inopportune as well. My professors had slammed me with work and I was busy well into the night with it.

So Thursday I decided would be the day to ask her out. I talked myself up all day long. _You can do this Edward. _It became a chant, my mantra, for the day.

Finally when I didn't think I could stand it anymore, I picked up my phone and called Bella. With every ring of the phone, I felt myself sweat more and more out of nerves. She finally picked up. Here goes nothing.

"Hey Bella, what's up?" I hope she didn't hear the shakiness in my voice. I wanted to sound smooth.

"Well, I'm just sitting around reading a book. I'm kind of bored actually."

"I'm sorry to hear that. If I wasn't so swamped with homework, I'd come keep you entertained." If only I could right now. Spending time with Bella would be much more enjoyable than doing homework

"That is too bad." She did sound kind of disappointed. That's a good sign, right?

"But, I do have the weekend to look forward to." Deep breaths Edward, you can do this. "You see, I was kind of wondering, maybe if you want to, I mean it might be fun if.."

"Spit it out Cullen."

"Do you wanna get together and do something this weekend?" There, I said it.

"Are you asking me out on a date?" Crap, did she not want it to be a date?

"If you want it to be." I guess that could be left open to interpretation. If she wanted a date, it would be. If she wanted just a friendly visit, it could be that too.

"That sounds nice." Good! She wanted it to be a date! Now I could tell her about the Brand New concert.

"Great! I was thinking…"

"Oh shit, Edward. I can't. I'm really sorry but I forgot I already promised to spend the weekend with my aunt in uncle. I'm really sorry." Oh. Maybe she didn't want it to be a date after all. I'm sure my enthusiasm made her rethink her answer.

"Oh. I see. Well…have fun then. I should be going, ya know, get back to all that homework." I'm such an idiot.

"Wait, Edward.." I didn't want to hear an excuse. She didn't want to go out with me, that's all there is to it.

"I'll talk to you later, bye." I'm such an idiot.

Later that night Bella texted me. I almost didn't read it, too embarrassed at what it might say.

_Edward_

_You know if I didn't already have plans_

_I would be hanging out with you this weekend, right?_

_Bella_

So she felt bad for turning me down. It's not her fault that I have no right being with her. But I didn't want her knowing just how hurt I was. Maybe I could play this off as some friendly outing.

_It's fine. I just thought it would be fun_

_Ya know, a nice __friendly __outing._

_But we can get together whenever,_

_What are friends for?_

_Your friend, Edward_

I didn't want to feel hurt anymore. Maybe if I told myself enough times that all I wanted was a friendship, I'd eventually believe the lies.

--

I had a difficult time concentrating for lab on Friday. So I just told everyone to use the time to study. While I pretended to do work, I just stared at the page of my book, not taking anything in. Every once and awhile I'd look up to find Bella staring at me, a pleading look in her eyes. She wanted to apologize and I didn't want to hear it. I tried smiling to prove I was fine, but I wasn't convincing anyone.

All of a sudden that Michael kid turned to talk to Bella. He was flirting with her! How dare he do that in front of me. Then I remembered that I had no claim on Bella. He was free to flirt with her, and she was free to flirt back. The thought made me sick.

I tried to just watch them out of the corner of my eye. I didn't want to be completely obvious. But when he asked her out, I couldn't help but look up at them. Stupid Mike, how could you think you deserve anyone as beautiful as Bella? But I was wondering what Bella would say? Had the whole weekend with her aunt and uncle been a lie to get out of spending time with me? If she did want to go out with Mike, would she accept the invitation, right in front of me?

She turned him down politely, giving him the same reason she did me. It comforted me only slightly. And I don't think it deterred Mike in the least. He tried making plans to do something later.

"Yeah, I don't know about that Mike. See I'm kind of just trying to focus on school right now. I'm not really looking to start anything with anyone. You understand though, right?"

Was that true? Did she not want a relationship with anyone at all? Her reasoning was sound, after all I had used it too many times to remember. But the idea of never getting a chance with her was staggering. I pinched the bridge of my nose, another sign that I was irritated when I noticed Bella had caught me eavesdropping on their conversation.

Class ended and Bella came running up to talk to me. Like I said, I really didn't want to hear an apology from those luscious lips.

"Have fun this weekend." I turned and angrily left the room, reminding me of my first encounter with Bella, only three weeks ago.

I made it home and plopped on my bed, not wishing to resurface until Monday when I would have to go to class. I wouldn't even get to see Bella, because she'd be taking the test that morning and not return to lecture. How could this week, which had started out so great, end so poorly?

I must've dozed off a bit, because the sound of my phone startled me awake.

"Bella?" I don't know why I thought she was calling. I probably should've looked at the caller id before I answered.

"Sorry to disappoint, but it's Alice." Oh she was sure to tease me for that later. "Listen, mom just called and asked if we could come down for the weekend. She really misses us."

"Why didn't she call and ask me?" she always called to talk to me when she wanted me to visit with her.

"I dunno. Maybe she thought you'd be too busy and try and refuse. Either way, she asked and we're going. Hurry and pack your bags, I'll be there in 15 minutes. And be happy Edward. This weekend is gonna be so much fun!" I highly doubted that. A weekend without Bella could never be fun.

* * *

**por favor, let me know what you think. your reviews are like the life blood of this story. i need them to keep me sustained! haha**


	13. Chapter 13

**a/n: not sm, duh**

**i need to make a slight correction from last chapter. i'm pretty sure i put hyde park as the city bella's aunt and uncle live in when i meant to put highland park. hyde park is a street in another chicago suburb. i dont think anyone really noticed, but i did, and it bugged me. so until i have the time to change it, there ya go. **

**shout outs to: manyafandom, x-rosepetals-x, icefang7, bringmeback, Mdots, ScarboroughFairy, MelissaTheTwilightFan, ILoveJasperWhitlock, Becca, distorted realities, musicluv585, carmelinagunn, Michelle62092, ivmar2990, and Rosie jo. You guys make my day when you review. **

**again, longest chapter yet! i'm really excited for you guys to read it, esp after you all described anxiously waiting to find out what would happen over the weekend. i hope it doesn't disappoint. i know i like it.**

"Bella! It's so good to see you!" Jan came running out the front door when she heard Roxanne pull up into the driveway.

"Roxanne!" Oh my god, I can't believe John's thoughts rested solely with the monster truck I was driving. Again, Jan and I exchanged rolling eyes at the man who loved his cars just a little too much.

"Well, come on in, dinner's almost ready! John, why don't you grab Bella's things." So Jan and I walked into the house and towards the delicious smell of roast. My mouth started watering immediately. I had missed real food. The stuff they gave you in the cafeteria just couldn't compare.

I helped Jan set the table and finish off with dinner preparations while John took my luggage upstairs and my dirty clothes to the basement for washing. After finishing the last minute details, I took a few seconds to survey the house. I loved Jan and John's place. It was a restored Victorian, with all the original details restored. But it also had the modern perks like central air, gourmet kitchen, and even an elevator for goodness' sake. It wasn't overly big, but much larger than they needed. Jan and John never had any children, but they did have several nieces and nephews, along with many empty rooms to house them when needed. I was happy to stay with them, knowing they truly did love the niece they hardly knew.

"Well, let's dig in, shall we?" It amazed me how, even though my aunt and uncle lived a relatively posh lifestyle, they were still so down to earth. I mean, what other house in the neighborhood would even allow something like Roxanne on the driveway?

"So tell me how things are going dear." John seemed interested in my life, which was a change from his one track mind on cars.

"Well, I have a really great roommate. Her name is Alice."

"Ooh, you should have her come stay with us one time!" Jan was eager to house as many people as possible.

"I'll keep that in mind, though she lives near here so she would probably just go stay with her parents." Jan's face fell a little bit. It was really cute. Dinner passed with more talk of college life. I carefully avoided any topics that might lead to interests in boys. I didn't feel like talking about Edward tonight. I was so stunned by his reaction to me earlier in lab. Talking about him would lead to thinking about him. And that was a dangerous road to travel down.

After dinner I helped Jan clean up while John went to the living room to watch a game in true Charlie fashion. You'd think they were brothers, rather than Jan being Charlie's sister, with how much alike they could be. Just then the phone rang.

"Hello?..Why hello Mary dear, it's been awhile. How are you enjoying school?...That's lovely dear…But of course you can. You'll get a chance to meet my wonderful niece Isabella…See you soon…Bye." Jan hung up the phone and turned to me, excited at this new turn of events.

"That was our neighbor's daughter, Mary. She's stopping by to drop off some of her mother's homemade pumpkin chocolate chip cookies. They're John's favorite!"

"Did I just hear you say pumpkin chocolate chip cookies?!" Jan and I laughed at John's selective hearing. Mention food and he was sure to respond, even during college football.

A few minutes later and there was a knock on the door. Jan got up to answer it and I heard her talking animatedly to the girl on the other side.

"Bella, come here and meet Mary!" I got up, rather sluggishly from all the food I ate at dinner, and made my way to the door. "Bella, this is Mary. Mary, Bella." Jan stepped out of the way and I found myself starting down at none other than…

"Alice?!" her smile lit up her small fairy face. Jan looked back and forth between us in confusion.

"You two know each other?"

"Jan, this is Alice, as in the Alice that I'm rooming with. I thought you said her name is Mary."

"Oh, Mary is my given name. But I go by Alice. Jan here just likes to call me by Mary because it reminds her of her childhood friend by the same name." Alice turned and smiled at Jan, who in turn smiled back. Seems that Alice's charm was far reaching and affected people, regardless of sex or age.

"Well don't just stand there in the doorway. Come in!" Alice followed us inside and to the living room. John dug into the plate of cookies straightway, holding one in each hand. He really did love those cookies. We all chatted about college at this point, well all of us except John who kept simultaneously shushing us and turning up the tv.

"Good lord John, give it a rest! We have dvr, just record it!"

"You know it's not the same!" John looked offended at the thought of watching a recorded game. Men.

"Jan, I was wondering if I could show Bella my place, maybe hang out for a bit. Would you be alright with that?" Alice had that same smile on again, the one that could melt the stoniest of hearts.

"But of course. Go have fun Bella. We'll leave the back door unlocked. Come back whenever, we won't be waiting up." I had to hand it to my aunt and uncle, they sure were easy going about me.

As soon as we left the house I rounded on Alice.

"What the hell Alice, you couldn't tell me you were their neighbors when I gave you the address?" This was becoming a trend, Alice leaving out crucial details.

"I could've…But where's the fun in that?" Now she was flashing that little wicked smile at me. "Don't be mad Bella. When I found out you were coming here, and who your aunt and uncle were, I knew I just had to come home too and spend some time with you! I would've missed you this weekend." She pouted at me then, trying to gain forgiveness.

"Don't you use that pout on me, missy! You just better not have any other tricks up your sleeves."

"Of course not!" Her look was a little too innocent. I did not trust my smallest of friends.

We were at her house at this point and I gasped at the sight. The architecture was modern, yet organic, reminiscent of Frank Lloyd Wright. The way the house blended in with the surrounding landscape was immaculate. The last time I was over at John and Jan's I wasn't able to see a majority of the house, it being too obscured by the trees, just the driveway with Alice's yellow Porsche. That stupid yellow car that should've clued me in to who these neighbors were the instant Alice had taken me to the mall. I can't believe I was so unobservant.

She opened her front door to reveal a stunning foyer, with bamboo flooring ("It's a renewable resource so of course my mom had to have it!") and the most amazing spiral staircase I'd ever seen.

"Wow Alice. Your place is gorgeous!"

"And you've only seen the outside and foyer. Come on, I'll give you the grand tour."

"Where are your parents? I'd love to meet them."

"Oh, you just missed them. They left a few minutes ago. They'll be gone all weekend on a mini vacation." I didn't understand why Alice looked so smug right now.

We walked along the bottom floor. They had a great room with a remarkable stone fireplace, squashy armchairs surrounding it. In one corner was a black baby grand piano which I could envision Edward sitting at, his gracefully long fingers dancing across the keys. The kitchen was state of the art. It had rich red cherry wood cabinets and dark grey granite countertops. Of course all the appliances were stainless steel. The dining room just off the kitchen was equally beautiful, with a very expensive looking crystal chandelier. But the living room was the highlight of all of those rooms. It was slightly sunken in, with those same bamboo flooring, only a parquet similar to that in Versailles. Though none of the seating was the same, they all went well together. There was such a wide variety of style that seemed to blend to form a rich environment. I had thought Edward's entertainment unit had been impressive, but it had nothing on what was in this living room. It too had a stone fireplace; with the largest tv I had ever seen hanging above it. Every movie you could think of graced the shelves surrounding it. And the electronics that went with it looked all too complicated for me to use.

"I have to say it again, wow!"

"Time for the upstairs!" So I followed Alice up the beautiful spiral staircase. "There are a total of 6 bedrooms and 5 bathrooms. One of the bedrooms, Edward's that is, is in the basement. We sent him to live in the dungeon because he's such a troll. The others are up here. I'll show you mine!"

We walked up to what was obviously her room. She opened the door and I was shocked at what I saw. I had expected to see the room coated in pinks, like our room. But it was a mixture of purples and greens, varying in hues and intensity. The overall effect was strange, it both excited and calmed at the same time. I guess it was true to the very nature of Alice.

"Do you like it?"

"Yes! Did you do the decorating?"

"But of course Bella. I am my mother's daughter after all." She looked pleased at my approval. "You wanna check out Edward's room?"

"Why would I want to do that?" I had to say that out loud. But on the inside I was dying to see what it looked like. I might be mad at him, but I didn't want to pass up the opportunity to nose around through his stuff.

"You know, denial isn't just a river in Egypt." I started laughing so hard I almost choked. I hadn't heard that joke in years. Hearing Alice say it was so odd; oddly hilarious.

"I can't believe you just said that! Alright, let's go snooping through Eddie boy's stuff."

"That's the spirit!"

We walked down the stairs that led to the basement and I noticed at once another piano, along with a drum set, guitar and trumpet on the far right side.

"Does Edward play all of those instruments?" How could one man be so talented?

"Yeah, he's annoyingly perfect sometimes."

Upon further inspection, I noticed a pool table, ping pong table, another large tv, and a bar in the far corner. It was definitely a place to come to hang out. To the left was a door, I assumed leading to Edward's room.

"Go ahead, take a peak." I stepped in front of Alice and slowly opened the door. It was kind of exhilarating, knowing I would see the room that Edward had spent so much time in.

"Leave me alone Alice. I'm still pissed off at you." What? Edward was in the room, facing away from me, looking down at something in his hands. He turned around and our eyes connected. I noticed his face flush a slight pink and felt my own face blaze with the heat of mine.

"Bella? What are you doing here?"

"I-I-I…Um..Alice was, um, giving me the tour of, um, your house." Why did I have to see him now?

"So if Alice is your tour guide, where is she now?" He craned his head to look around me. I spun on the spot about to yell at that little hellion, only to find myself utterly and completely alone.

"I hate you Alice." I mumbled to myself, so annoyed that she would do this to me. I was so completely out of my element that when Edward stepped up behind me and placed his hand on my shoulder, I nearly jumped out of my skin.

"Whoa, calm down. I didn't mean to scare you. Why don't you sit down?"

"No thank you. I'd much rather leave now." I was mad and I wanted him to know it. If I sat down in his room with him looking at me like he does, you know, all sexy like, then all traces of anger would disappear.

"Please, I insist." He not so gently pushed me towards his bed. "Sit." Is it weird that given the situation, hearing a commanding Edward was a turn on? It was. I am a freak.

"I really don't have time to sit and chat, I'm sure my aunt and uncle are wondering where I am." Lie. "So if you'll excuse me."

"About that, why are you even here? How did you get here? Alice left for a few minutes to take something to our neighbors' and all of a sudden you're walking into my room."

"It seems you're sister is a conniving, scheming, little imp."

"Well, yes, that's true. But what has she done this time?"

"My aunt and uncle are your next door neighbors, which Alice conveniently forgot to mention when I asked help with directions. Just like she forgot to mention our TA also happened to be her brother. Seems Alice has been behind all of this from the start." I felt my brow furrow in irritation at the nerve of my tiny friend.

"Yes, it seems that way, especially since she told me my mother wanted to spend the weekend together, only for me to find out that my parents would be gone the entire time. I really should thank Alice though." A hint of a smile graced those alluring lips.

What? What? What? That's all I could think. What? How could one man be so annoyingly bizarre? The weight of the past few weeks came crashing down on me and I suddenly felt very weary from the mental exertion I had spent on Edward's behalf.

"I really can't stand this anymore Edward. I don't know if you just suffer from multiple personality disorder or what. But I can't handle how often your whole self changes on the drop of a dime."

"I know, and you have to believe me when I tell you I'm sorry for that."

"I am so sick of your apologies Edward. I feel like you're always telling me sorry for one reason or another. Did it ever occur to you that you should just treat me in a way that made the apologies unnecessary?" I was yelling at this point, slightly hysterical. But it felt good to release this built in tension. I had been wanting to say this for awhile, but never really having the occasion to do so.

"Of course you're right. And for that I'm so…"

"Just shut up already with the sorries! What the hell is wrong with you?" Now I felt the hot tears running down my cheeks.

"Bella, please. Please don't cry Bella. Please, it breaks my heart. I know you don't want to hear me apologize but I need to. I have been horrible to you and there's no excuse for it. I will always feel the need to apologize because someone as wonderful as you should never cry over someone as horrible as me." I looked up at him now and found his eyes. I saw the glistening of moisture in them and wondered at this strange beautiful man standing in front of me.

"You're not horrible Edward. Maybe misguided, but never horrible. I wish you wouldn't put yourself down at my expense."

"Just let me explain myself and then if you want you can ignore me. I'm sure you will want to, and I wouldn't blame you." The mystery of Edward was finally unraveling in front of me. I sniffed and huffed a little, trying to get my overworked emotions in check.

"I'm listening." Edward smiled slightly at me again.

"I wasn't prepared to meet someone like you Bella. I had my whole life planned out: graduate, go to med school, become a doctor, things I had wanted my whole life. And then you show up, a temptation I hadn't dreamed of. Your very presence threatened to undermine my plans. And for that I thought I despised you. I'm sure you remember our first encounter. Looking back, I wasn't mad at you. I really despised myself. Because when I looked at you I saw what I had been lacking all these years."

"What? What were you lacking?"

"In a minute. I need to get this off my chest." His hand came up to his hair, running through those bronze locks, trying to ease the nerves he was feeling. I loved that gesture and wished I could run my hands through his hair too. "So I was rude to you, something I was brought up to never be, especially to a lady. But I couldn't deny just how physically attracted I was to you. The night at The Underground, before we got there, I realized the attraction extended past just your looks. You had a brain, something I was not used to seeing in most beautiful women. When I saw how James was eyeing you, I found myself becoming possessive and jealous, two things I had no right to feel concerning you. At this point I was still trying to push aside any feelings. But after our dance together, I knew I was in trouble. There was just no avoiding you.

Then, of course, James proved himself to be a bigger asshole then we'd originally thought, and I found myself afraid for your safety. Just as I was discovering these new feelings for you, you faced danger and I could not leave you. When you didn't call me that week, I felt stupid. I thought you were rejecting me. And I didn't know how to face you. Last Friday was amazing, Bella. I got to know you even better. I wanted to spend as much time with you as I could. But being the idiot I am, feared more rejection. If you did not share even a portion of the feelings I have for you, I didn't want to mess up the growing friendship we had."

"Edward, I…"

"Please Bella, let me finish. Did you know our texts and phone calls became the highlight of my week? I thrived on you. But still I couldn't ask you out. I am a coward. When I finally worked up the courage to ask you, thanks in part to Alice's persistence, you turned me down. Even then though, I was never mad at you. I berated myself. Because I should've known better than to think I stood a chance with you. You are so much more than any man deserves. And when I heard that vile Mike try and ask you out, I just couldn't handle it. To think of you with any guy drove me crazy. I didn't want you to see me like that, especially since you don't feel that way for me. If I can't have you like that, then I would settle as being friends. Do you understand now?"

"Yes, I think I do. But you never answered my question. What were you lacking before?"

"Don't you see Bella? All this time, my life was missing that one crucial piece, you." His voice was a ghost of a whisper. I almost didn't hear him. But my ears were so trained to the sound of his voice by this point.

"Edward…" I couldn't handle seeing him look so tortured. His eyes were swimming with unshed tears again and he was nervously wringing his hands. Here was the most handsome man I had ever laid eyes on, confessing his feelings for me; telling me _he _did not deserve _me._ I needed to tell him exactly how I felt, but suddenly words just weren't enough.

My fallen angel was looking at me expectantly. I saw trepidation in his eyes, waiting for me to turn him down, to tell him that I wanted to be just friends. The resolve in my body stiffened and I walked over to him as confidently as I could. I took hold of his face, placing each of my hands on his cheeks and pulled him down to meet my awaiting lips. I didn't dare close my eyes. I 

needed to see his reaction. Shock registered in his emerald eyes, but then softening considerably the look changed to elation, before his lids slid shut. I allowed myself the same liberty.

The sensation his lips caused on mine was indescribable. I felt an electric current escape through his lips and spread to every part of my body, leaving those parts tingling in its wake. Our lips moved in a rhythm meant for more practiced partners. He drew his tongue out, lightly tracing my lower lip and the sensation caused me to audibly gasp. My open mouth was used to his advantage, as his tongue slipped inside my mouth. I felt him explore inside of my mouth and pull my own tongue out to dance in the rhythm our kiss had created.

My hands traveled from his face down to his chest as his hands came around my neck and pulled me in closer, tangling in my hair. He ran his long fingers down the length of it, moving them agonizingly slow down my back, coming to rest at the small of it. Suddenly, the need to feel his hair in my hands was too strong. When my fingers felt the softness of his gorgeous bronze hair, I took hold and began tugging and pulling it into a messy tangle. It felt so good to finally do what I had dreamt of doing from the first time I saw him. I was starting to feel light headed from the intensity of our kiss and from the lack of oxygen. I probably should've tried breathing through my nose, but all thought processes escaped my brain while kissing Edward.

"It's about fucking time!"

"Way to kill the mood Alice." Edward mumbled the words against my lips, sending pleasurable vibrations through my mouth. I had to resist the urge to moan in pleasure. I felt him smile then, in response to my reaction.

"I don't know whether to hug you or kill at this moment." I had been so annoyed, but if it wasn't for her meddling ways, I may not be in the arms of this god.

"You know you love me."

"I should've shut the door earlier." He winked at me and a soft giggle erupted from my lips.

"Did you ask her yet?" Alice was bouncing on the balls of her feet, staring down Edward.

"Um. No not yet." I turned and stared at him, wondering what else he had to say.

"Are you kidding me? Don't tell me you're nervous after kissing her like that!" Edward gave her the evil eye, silently asking her to shut the hell up.

"So Bella, I was wondering if maybe you would like to, I dunno, go see Brand New with me on Sunday. That is, if it's ok with your aunt and uncle."

"Edward I'm surprised you even have to ask! Of course I would love to go see them with you!" His crooked grin graced the handsome features on his face as he pulled two tickets out of his back pocket.

"So it's a date?" I asked him and he looked at me, a little weary, due to the last time this conversation had taken place.

"If you want it to be." I smiled at him, knowing full well he meant yes.

Unfortunately Alice didn't leave our sides for the rest of my time there. And all too soon Edward was walking me to my aunt and uncle's back door.

"Goodnight Bella. Will I see you tomorrow?"

"You can count on it."

He kissed me softly and left after making sure I was inside safely. We still had a lot to talk about, but after Edward's confession, I felt I understood him so much better. My lips were still tingling from the aftermath of our kiss. Thank god John and Jan were asleep. I didn't want them questioning my disheveled appearance.

Saturday I woke up to the smell of crisp bacon and eggs. I could get used to this! I came down the stairs and to find Jan at the stove and John stuffing his face at the table.

"Good morning sleepy head. Did you have fun with Alice last night?" With Alice…yeah right….

"I did, thanks for asking."

"She is such a sweetheart and a beautiful girl. Really, the entire family is good looking. The middle son, Edmund is it? You should meet him! He's quite the looker. He gets it from the father I'm sure. Carlisle is quite handsome."

"Hello? Jan you do know I'm right here. Stop drooling over other men in front of your husband."

"John, silly, you know you're the only man for me!" I was laughing in my chair throughout their entire conversation. For starters, Jan had called him Edmund. Really? And if she only knew how well I knew Edward…Plus her verbal ogling of Carlisle really was too much.

After breakfast I took a quick shower and pulled on my sweats, getting ready to start in on my massive pile of dirty clothes. I grabbed my book, knowing I'd have plenty of down time in between loads and headed for the basement.

"Bella, sweetie, John and I are going to run a few errands. We'll probably be gone until before dinner. Are you ok by yourself for awhile?"

"Oh yeah, I'll be busy with all this. Go on ahead, I'll see you later!"

I started my first load and was sitting down in the basement, trying to read but failing miserably. _The Time Traveler's Wife _was an intense love story and I found myself imagining Edward and I in the places of the two main characters. My mind was trying to contemplate having a man who loved you so much.

"I wonder what it's like."

"What what's like?"

"AGHHH!" I had to grab my chest in pain from my heart stopping so suddenly. Laughter filled my ears as I recognized the owner of the voice.

"Damnit Edward! What the hell are you thinking? Do you like sneaking up on poor unsuspecting women? You nearly gave me a heart attack! And how did you get inside? My aunt and uncle are gone!" His laughter died down abruptly and the smile he was wearing turned into a frown.

"I'm sorry. I didn't know I'd scare you so bad. I just wanted to surprise you is all. I saw John and Jan were leaving and I asked if I could go inside and keep you company. So they let me in. I didn't think there was a problem with that."

"Well they probably figured you'd announce yourself first instead of scaring the living daylights out of me."

"Don't be mad, please?" He was pouting at me, and the sight of his lips just emphasized the longing to kiss him again.

"You know I can't stay mad at you, otherwise I would've stopped talking to you a long time ago." His crooked smile was back as he closed the distance between us.

"Good, because if you had stopped talking to me at the beginning of the semester, I wouldn't be able to do this." He wrapped his arms around my waist and bent down slightly to kiss me.

Just like the night before, I felt the electricity flow between our lips. Edward's kissing was beyond words. I could spend all day attached to his lips, I wanted to. But before he could deepen it, the buzzer on the dryer went up, causing us both to jump.

"Hmm…seems I lose track of where we are when I'm kissing you." And he leaned in to steal another small kiss. When he pulled away he looked at me for a second before voicing his question. "This is ok, right?"

"It's more than ok. You know, all those things you told me last night, about how you felt and the fear of rejection? That's how I felt too, just so you know." Even though he had admitted all that to me last night, I still felt embarrassed saying it.

"So you like me?" cue that sexy smile.

"Yes."

"Good. I like you too." I highly doubt it's as much as I do. But hearing him say it is still nice. "So what's on the agenda for today?"

"You're looking at it." I gestured to the pile of clothes surrounding me.

"Would you like help?" I can't believe he was offering to help me with my laundry.

"Well, yes I would, but I don't want to keep you from your priorities. I'm sure you have school work that needs to be done."

"No I don't actually. I got ahead in my work when I had originally planned to invite you to the concert…besides, today you are my priority." It was so cheesy but still so right hearing that come from Edward.

We sat around in my aunt and uncle's basement talking easily about whatever came to mind. He asked me about the book I was reading. But as I explained it, he became really confused so I stopped. It was just something you had to read for yourself.

As my clothes dried, he helped me fold everything neatly. I didn't realize we had reached my underwear until Edward pulled out the purple thong I had worn the night of the club.

"I recognize these." He gave me a sly smile and wiggled his eyebrows at me. Oh my god. My face was on fire from the memory of Edward getting a nice peek at my ass.

"Give me those!" I tried snatching them away but he held on tight.

"What? It was a very memorable point in time for me. I didn't realize you had such sexy panties."

"Stop it Edward, you're embarrassing me."

"Do you have more like this?" He began rummaging through the pile of clean undergarments, in a desperate attempt to find more lingerie.

"Stop looking through my panties you perv!" I started slapping his hands away and he laughed like a mad man at my futile efforts to stop him. Seeing him so giddy made me laugh and before I knew it, he had me pinned to the ground, tickling me to the point of tears.

We were so distracted that I didn't hear Jan come down the stairs.

"Oh. Sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt anything." I'm sure the scene she walked in on was very suggestive. There we were, rolling around on the ground, my purple thong still in Edward's hand, with him on top of me, both of us gasping for air.

"Um, sorry Mrs. Stevens." Edward tried to straighten himself out and keep the blush down from his face.

"Jan, it's not what it looks like!" I was completely mortified.

"Ok, whatever you say. I'll be upstairs. When you guys are finished come on up." She walked away with a big smile on her face. Heaven help me if she told Charlie anything.

"I think we should go up now." I let out a nervous giggle.

"Yes. I agree." So without finishing my laundry we headed up to join John and Jan.

As we walked into the living room, I saw Alice chatting with John about, what else, cars. His face was lit up with enthusiasm as they discussed the pros and cons of foreign cars. When Alice spotted us she shot me another one of her wicked smiles. Oh great, what was she planning now?

"There you are Bella, I've been looking for you everywhere! I was wondering if you'd like to spend the night with me, we could do makeovers and everything!" I glared at her. She knew full well that I did not like makeovers. But she just winked at me.

"I think that sounds like a lot of fun Bella!" She smiled at me then turned to look at Alice. I didn't see the look Jan gave her, but it caused Alice's smile to grow ten times as big. So my aunt was in on it, whatever it was.

After gathering some things I followed Alice and Edward out the door to their house. No sooner than we had walked in the door when Alice announced she was going out with Jasper tonight.

"But, the sleepover?"

"Yeah, you two have fun with that." She waved and headed to the garage.

"You gotta hand it to her, the little girl knows what she's doing." Edward sounded a little excited and I found myself nervous at the thought of spending the night alone with him.

We decided to just order in, agreeing on Chinese and then made the decision to watch a movie.

"How about we watch a movie? You're pick?" I walked over to the wall of dvds and was overwhelmed with the choice.

"Really, we'll watch whatever I want? Hm…what about _Fight Club_?" Edward eyed me for a minute before he said anything.

"Is this just to watch Brad Pitt walk around with no shirt on?"

"Give me some credit, please. It's a good movie!"

Edward got the movie started and we settled down on the couch. I didn't know how close or far away I should sit from him, so I just sat in the middle of the couch and let him decide. He was at the far end, and when he saw where I sat he pouted at me and patted the spot right next to him.

When I sidled up next to him, he wrapped his arm around me, pulling me even closer to his chest.

"Much better."

We enjoyed the movie in silence until about half way through when I decided to tease Edward a bit.

"You know, you were right. I do enjoy looking at Brad Pitt shirtless. He has a really sexy body. Mmmm."

"Excuse me? What about me?" he looked genuinely hurt.

"Well I've never seen you shirtless so I can't really compare." It took him no time at all to whip his shirt off for me. I sat in stunned silence.

"Edward!"

"Like what you see? How do I match up to the ever popular Brad Pitt."

I did like what I saw. Edward's chest was lean and hard. His stomach sported a nice six pack, not overly defined but still chiseled. I couldn't stop my hand from reaching out and caressing every muscle there. I felt them tense and relax at my touch. How did I get so lucky as to be sitting next to this man, feeling him up?

"Well? What's the verdict?"

"Yes, hmm..it's quite nice…" He scooped me up and placed me in his lap then kissed me hard.

"Better than Brad Pitt?"

"Most definitely." My voice came out breathy and strained.

"Good, let's finish the movie." But he didn't move me off of his lap, a fact I was grateful for. I nuzzled in close to his chest and unwillingly started drifting to sleep with the comfort of his body so close to mine.

Sunday morning I found myself lying down in the most luxurious bed I'd ever slept in. I was so relaxed that it took me a minute to realize that I was laying next to Edward, his arms wrapped tightly around me.

"Good morning beautiful." He leaned down to give me a kiss but I shook him off.

"Nu uh." He looked hurt and confused at my rejection. "Morning breath." I mumbled the words in my hand so I wouldn't offend him with my breath.

"I'll survive." And he swooped down to kiss me before I could protest further.

"Have you been awake long?" he sounded much too cheerful this early in the morning.

"No, not long. But long enough to notice how peaceful you look while you sleep. You really are Sleeping Beauty." I don't think I'll ever get used to all of his compliments.

I wanted to stay in bed and just lounge around, but Edward told me it would probably be best to spend time with John and Jan since later that evening I'd be going to the concert then heading back to campus. So reluctantly we got up and after showering and changing, I headed back over to their house. Edward stayed at his place, to avoid suspicion, though I suspected Jan knew Alice's intentions all along.

I spent Sunday just being lazy with my aunt and uncle. John of course hogged the tv, flipping back and forth between the two football games. So I mostly read, getting close to finishing my book.

"Do you have plans for tonight Bella?" oops, I had almost completely forgotten that I hadn't told them about going to the concert tonight.

"Oh yeah, Edward is going to take me to a concert in the city."

"Sounds like fun!" Jan really was a great woman. I loved how enthusiastic she was. At times it reminded me of Renee, which is maybe why Charlie felt such a strong pull to my mother. I had to stop thinking about that though, because it was sad to see my father by himself when he still obviously loved my mother so much.

Edward came to pick me up a little after 8. In the driveway was the shiny silver car I had noticed the first time I stayed with John and Jan. He walked me over to my side, opening the door for me. He really was the perfect gentleman.

"So this is your _little _car huh?"

"It is not little. How many times do I have to say it! It's a Volvo!" he was getting really angry, that is until he heard me laugh. Then he cracked a little smile and joined in.

"You know, the night before I moved on campus I stayed with John and Jan and I noticed your's and Alice's car in the driveway. Funny how things worked out huh? I guess it really is a small world."

"That is funny. If I only knew the wonderful woman just feet away from me…maybe we could've avoided all the complications from before."

"It's odd because that night I had a really hard time falling asleep, nerves and all, but I heard Clair de Lune playing in the background and it helped me fall asleep-why are you smiling at me?"

"That was me." I gasped. But I really should've known. After listening to his cd, nothing should surprise me when it came to anything musical.

"You are way too amazing for your own good. Is there anything you can't do?"

"I dunno, but we can always find out later, right?"

We headed towards the city in comfortable silence. I was getting wound up in anticipation for the concert. I loved Brand New and was so looking forward to seeing them live again. Plus I kept hearing how amazing a venue The Metro was. Tonight was going to rock, literally.

"C'mon Edward, let's get closer!" As soon as we got in the building I was pulling him towards the stage.

"I dunno. Wouldn't you feel more comfortable in the back? Or maybe we could go sit somewhere."

"No way! Part of the experience of concerts is getting up close!"

"Yes, but it's so crowded and smelly and sweaty. Plus something could happen to you. Let's just stay back here."

"I don't think so pretty boy. You're coming with me up there." I knew most people hated being crowded, and most of the time I would agree. But when I went to concerts I loved to be right up there with everyone, feeling the bodies around me moving to the music. It was a strangely therapeutic feeling. And I never missed a chance to get as close to my favorite bands as I could.

Just then, the biggest, smelliest guy came walking up next to me. He had a beer in hand and no shirt on to cover up his gut. He turned away to say something to his friend and spilled his beer all over Edward.

"See? This is why we should've stayed in the back." I just laughed at how ironic the situation was.

We sat through the other acts, Edward glancing around nervously and me fidgeting impatiently for Brand New to take the stage. Finally it was time for the set. They walked out and I started yelling like a mad woman. Edward saw how excited I was and smiled in response to my enthusiasm.

They opened with Millstone, one of my personal favorites from their latest album. Watching Brand New at The Metro really was amazing. I found myself letting go of my inhibitions a bit and moving and singing along with the music. They played some more of their newer songs then started into Seventy Times 7, from their first album. Again, one of my favorite songs; it reminded me of Laurent and how much I wished I could scream the lyrics at him. The crowd got a little bit more rowdy with the beat of the song.

Edward and I were getting pushed further and further into the middle of the thrashing teenagers. Before I knew what was happening, I felt myself being hoisted up by the surrounding guys. I tried to grab onto Edward's hand but they pulled me up so quickly I didn't have a chance.

"Bella!" I saw Edward jump up, trying to grab a hold of me but it was no use. The crowd was carrying me far away from him. I was starting to get scared as random guys were putting their hands all over me. Then, the scariest thing of all happened. All the weight underneath me suddenly disappeared and I felt myself falling to the ground. I tried to turn around and catch myself, but I only twisted around halfway before I hit the beer covered ground.

"Owww.." I tried to stand but when I put weight on my left leg, I felt a stabbing pain shoot through it.

Apparently nobody noticed I fell, because the people around me were still jumping around. Someone's knee collided with my head while another person's foot made contact with my ribs. The pain from the fall and now the people running into me was becoming overwhelming.

I saw Edward running towards me, obviously yelling something, but I couldn't make out the sounds. He picked me up bridal style and started running toward the door. He was asking me questions but I had a hard time concentrating.

"Edward, I'm feeling really sleepy."

Again, he was trying to say something but I couldn't focus in on his words. My eyes started drooping until I felt Edward shake me and finally his words broke through.

"No sleeping Isabella!"

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**So what did you think? is the end too dramatic? i know, bella is always getting into dangerous situations, but that's bella for you. and it had to happen, sorry. hopefully i won't leave you waiting too long to find out what happens. maybe if you review i will be quicker. nah, i don't want to blackmail you guys. **

**but what about bella and edward huh? originally, i hadn't planned them to have their first kiss this weekend, but edward and bella were begging me to let them kiss already. and how could i deny edward when he says 'pretty please.' but i hope you guys liked it, since we've all been waiting for a bit now for the two of those to kiss already. **

**reviews would be splendid, let me know what you think, either way please! just imagine edward saying pretty please to you.**

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	14. Chapter 14

**a/n: not sm, nothing is mine but the plot, and even then i borrow some well known phrases from the ever lovely sm. **

**many apologies to those waiting for an update. i had a hard time with this chapter for several reasons. one i had to go back to work this week. and it sucks a lot. why can't my life be a perpetual vacation? sometimes being an adult and responsible really sucks. it is time consuming and kept me from updating like i really wanted to. also, i got caught up in the olympics. and then the notebook was on tv this weekend and i got caught up in that as well. being the hopeless romantic i am, i couldn't stop thinking about the movie. and i didnt want any of that to seep into my story. i'm trying to be original here.**

**thank you to all of you that reviewed, the ones who are my regulars and all the new people discovering this story. i want to mention you all but i'm in a desperate hurry to post this chapter while i can. so please forgive me for not publicly thanking each and every one of you. tho i do have to give hugs to i'mwiththevampires08 who is so freakin awesome for mentioning me and my story in hers: so, this is love? which i recommend to all. it is a very _intriguing_ idea, and that's all i have to say about that. heehee. i do enjoy being review whores together. who doesn't love all the reviews?**

**um...i think there's more to say, but at the end so here you go. oh, and sorry this isn't as long as my pst couple of chapters. again. i'm just trying to get this out to you and quickly.**

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"Wake up sleeping beauty." I felt a set of soft warm lips press against mine briefly before my eyes fluttered open. My vision focused in to notice the white walls, fluorescent lighting, and monitors surrounding me. I could feel the starchy stiffness of the pillow underneath me and the sheets covering me. And the ever present grogginess clouding my brain, despite me being fully awake.

"Oh no."

"What's wrong? Are you ok? How do you feel?" Edward's concern was evident as his eyes scanned over my body, looking to find whatever was bothering me.

"Well let's see…I'm in a hospital which is never a good thing. Seems like this is becoming a habit for us, isn't it? And also, I feel like someone dropped me and the trampled all over me. But other than that, I guess I'm pretty good." Leave it to me to use sarcasm in a situation like this.

"Yes, that does pretty much sum up what happened." Though he chuckled at my response, I could still see worry lingering in those beautiful eyes.

"You were right." I hated to admit it and was nervous for the inevitable gloating.

"I usually am. But what specifically are you referring to?"

"Don't make me say it." He flashed an evil grin, reminiscent of his little sister. But he stayed silent, urging me on.

"Ugh, fine. We should've stayed in the back. Happy now?"

"No, Bella. I could never be happy with you injured like this. But only you could be in that much danger at a concert." He shook his head at me teasingly.

"So what's the damage, doctor?" I tried to make my voice as tempting as possible. His eyes darted to my face before quickly looking away, smiling the whole time.

"Well, you broke your ankle, a result from the fall." I grimaced when I saw the bulky cast on my left leg. "A couple of ribs were bruised too, presumably when those imbeciles around you failed to notice your fall. Plus you received a concussion, again from those idiots."

"Yes, we kept you over night as a precaution." An unknown voice interrupted our conversation. "I'm Dr. Weber by the way." I saw a young female doctor walk towards me, smiling at the two of us and holding my chart. "We did a CT scan and everything looks normal with your head. You may experience some side effects as a result though. Headaches, dizziness, vomiting, impaired balance…"

"Oh great. As if my balance isn't impaired enough." Edward cracked up at that and Dr. Weber just continued smiling sweetly at me.

"Yes, well, good thing Mr. Cullen is here to take care of you. The best thing for you now is rest and pain meds. As far as your ankle, we put you in a longer cast for now, to ensure proper placement and healing. But in a few weeks we should be able to remove that and replace it with a walking cast. Everything should be fine. But if you notice any of the symptoms I mentioned earlier worsen throughout the week, please come see us again."

"Thank you Dr. Weber." Edward shook her hand in appreciation.

"My pleasure. Tell your dad I said hi."

After being discharged, Edward led me out to his car. Despite my complaining and try as I might, I could not convince him to just let me hobble over there. He ended up pushing me out in a wheelchair. Damn him and his need to "save" me. It was sweet, though a little embarrassing.

"I called my dad and asked him to tell your professors about your incident, so you're clear for the rest of the day. Now all I want you to do is relax and let me take care of you."

"Oh no! Edward your dad!"

"What?" He was completely confused at why I seemed troubled about his dad.

"I missed the test, Edward. Damnit, I missed the test!" I yelled the second time, which I instantly regretted. My own shrill voice caused a ringing in my ear and my head felt like it was splitting in two.

"Shh. Calm down. Don't worry Bella. We can talk to my dad about it. I'm sure there's something we can do about it. I mean, it wasn't your fault you missed the test."

"No, he can't. He told us if we missed it, that was it! Don't you remember?"

"Er…I wasn't really paying attention." He gave me a sheepish smile.

"Great! I'll be stuck in that class now for the rest of the semester! Why? Why do I have the worst luck ever?"

"Would it be so horrible to stay with me in the class?" He pulled up to my dorm and parked the car. I heard the hurt in his voice but he kept his gaze down and away from me.

"Edward…"

"Let's get you inside and in bed. You really need to rest."

He helped me out of the Volvo and led me to my room. Still, he kept his gaze away from me. The silence between us was deafening. I would've screamed if I wasn't afraid it would hurt my head again.

I stumbled into bed awkwardly due to my stupid cast. Edward moved to go sit on Alice's.

"No. Stay with me." I yanked him back towards me.

"If you want." He climbed in next to me, carefully avoiding my leg. And still he kept those brilliant eyes hidden from me.

"Edward look at me." Still nothing. "Please." I placed my finger under his chin and lifted his face towards me. His eyes were dark and dull. I was left puzzled at the change in them; how they could sparkle like a jewel and then turn flat like lead.

"It's not horrible, spending time with you. It could never be horrible." I saw a slight twinkle in his eyes at my words. "You're the best thing in that class, in my life." His eyes shimmered back to life. "I'm sorry if I hurt…"

His lips crashed into mine with a fierce passion. My hands went up to his hair, instinctively, pulling him closer to me. Our tongues began to dance together and I felt my head spin again. I didn't know if it was from the kiss or the concussion. I drew in a deep breath to clear the fog and felt a sharp pain in my side.

"Oh!" I clutched at my side, waiting for the pain to ease up. Edward backed away so quickly he almost fell of the bed.

"Bella, I'm such an idiot! Shit, I'm sorry. I should've known better. Let me get you some ibuprofen." He shot up and ran to Alice's side, rummaging through a drawer until he found a bottle of Advil. He grabbed a bottle of water from her mini fridge and bounded over, taking just two steps to reach me.

"Thank you." I gratefully gulped the pills down. "Now come back to bed."

"Ok, but first…" He grabbed a couple of Alice's pillows then gently lifted my leg to place them underneath. "There. Comfy?"

"I will be once you're next to me." The feel of his body next to me was the best medicine. Edward started humming a soft melodic tune, all the while stroking my hair.

"Edward that feels so nice, but you're making me sleepy." I could hear my words slurring together.

"Good. You need to sleep. Rest that pretty little head of yours." He kissed my right temple and kept humming as I fell asleep.

I woke up to the sound of Alice storming into the room.

"What did you _do_ Edward?"

"Alice, be quiet! You'll upset Bella." His tone was firm and authoritative.

"I leave you alone with her for the weekend and what happens? She winds up all broken and bruised! I might have to suspend your visitation rights brother."

"Alice, chill. I'm fine. Don't bug Edward, it's not his fault."

"See?" Edward stuck his tongue out and blew a raspberry in Alice's direction. I couldn't help but laugh at his immature side. I loved seeing it.

"Whatever, _Eddie."_ He growled at her which made both Alice and I laugh together.

We told Alice about the concert and what happened. She "oohed" and "ahhed" at all the right spots.

"Well you didn't miss much in bio at least. It was so boring without the two of you though." I felt Edward stiffen at the mention of biology, probably worried about my reaction from earlier. But another thought came to me.

"Edward! You missed all your classes!" I can't believe I hadn't realized that before.

"Really? I think that's a first. You've never skipped out on class for _anything_." Alice was amused, clearly. She gave me an approving nod, as if she had been trying to get her brother to be irresponsible for awhile, which she probably was.

"Don't look so surprised. What kind of a guy do you think I am? Of course I stayed with Bella." I knew he cared for me, but that revelation really touched me. I felt my eyes fill with tears of happiness, but I quickly blinked them away before Edward could notice. I didn't need him to freak out over me again. I was so busy with my thoughts, I hadn't noticed Alice's departure.

"Where'd the little hellion go?"

"She's staying at my place so I can take care of you tonight."

"Edward, you don't need to stay with me tonight. It's bad enough you were bored all day long watching me sleep. I'm sure you have responsibilities to attend to."

"Bella, dear," I could really get used to hearing him say my name like that, "You are my only priority. And I wasn't bored. I love watching you sleep." I blushed furiously but he just kissed me softly.

I tried to pull him down closer to me, to deepen the kiss. I was beginning to think his lips held some sweet drug, the kind that brought an instant high and left me hooked and helpless.

But Edward, apparently didn't feel the same way because he pulled away from me.

"I don't think so Bella." I couldn't help it. I pouted. But it wasn't a Cullen pout, it was childish and immature.

"You are so adorable when you don't get your way. But I'm afraid I must insist. Kissing you in your bed, without the interruption of my little sis, is just too tempting. I can't afford to lose control with you in this state."

"Fine you party pooper." He just barked out a laugh again, a little too loudly for my unfortunate head.

"Sorry dear."

We sat together listening to music for most of the night. I discovered that Edward and I did like a lot of the same music. He flipped through my songs, sometimes listening to the whole thing, other times only pausing to identify the music before changing it again. He stopped to listen to a song I had completely forgotten was on my ipod.

"Keith Sweat huh?" But before I could justify that song he started to sing along.

_Let me lick you up and down til you say stop_

_Let me play with your body baby, make you real hot_

_Let me do all the things you want me to do_

_Cuz tonight baby, I wanna get freaky with you_

My mind was on overload. Did he have any idea how hot he made me, singing that song? I felt my panties moisten at the thought of what his tongue could do to me. I definitely wanted him all over me, but knew it was too soon in our relationship, one I wasn't even completely sure of what to call. My injuries would also get in the way of that.

"I think you need to stop singing those words in my bed." My voice was strained, trying to keep my body from responding to Edward's alluring voice.

"Why my sweet? Do you _want _me to lick you up and down?" His voice dripped with unbridled lust. And all I could do was hum in response. "Because you don't have to worry. If that's what you want, I will gladly give it to you." And then he mentioned, as if an afterthought, "just not tonight, unfortunately."

I changed the song quickly, trying to push away the promise Edward had just made me. Soon we were playing a game of sorts. I would pick a song and see if he knew the words.

_Whoa, I never meant to brag_

_But I got him where I want him now_

_Whoa, It was never my intention to brag_

_To steal it all away from you now_

_But god does it feel so good_

_Cuz I got him where I want him now_

_And if you could then you know you would_

_Cuz got it just feels so,_

_It just feels so good._

His voice was high and shrill and with the last words, he ran a hand down my side, barely missing the side of my breast. It kind of weirded me out to be turned on while he sang like a girl.

_With so much drama in the LBC_

_It's kinda hard being snoop d-o-double g_

_But I, somehow some way_

_Keep coming up with funky ass shit like every single day_

Rapping Edward sounded so abnormal. His smooth velvet voice just didn't mesh well with Snoop's lyrics.

_The sun is a mass of incandescent gas_

_a gigantic nuclear furnace_

_where hydrogen is built into helium_

_at a temperature of millions of degrees_

Hearing him recite They Might Be Giant lyrics was also a bit strange. But he still sounded good.

_Mucho gusto, me llamo Bradley_

_I am hornier than Ron Jeremy_

He wiggled his eyebrows at me, resulting in almost literally rib cracking laughter. I changed the song yet again.

"Chicago?" One eyebrow cocked up in surprise.

"What? I love them. How can you not?"

"I just didn't think you were a Chicago kind of girl." I just shrugged at him. What could I say?

_Right before my very eyes_

_I thought that you were only fakin it_

_And like before my heart was taken in_

_Baby what a big surprise_

_Right before my very eyes_

_Yesterday it seemed to me_

_My life was nothing more than wasted time_

_But here today you've softly changed my mind_

His voice was like honey, gliding smoothly through my ears, filling me with my desire for him.

"How do you do that?" I whispered.

"Do what?"

"Dazzle me so effortlessly."

"I dazzle you?" His eyes lit up and he smiled crookedly at me.

"As if you didn't know." His smile stretched out even wider.

"I'll make sure to remember that."

We played our game for awhile longer before Doctor Cullen, I liked how the title sounded in my head, ordered me to sleep. I insisted he sleep with me, being the only real cure for what ailed me. I knew I should probably be more unhappy with my current physical predicament, but with Edward here I felt no pain. In fact, I could hardly feel anything but him, seeing how I'm pretty sure all the bones in my body had liquefied by this point.

Tuesday morning I just couldn't bring myself to get up and go to class. Something about hobbling around on crutches deterred me from my usual strict school attendance. Edward suggested a wheelchair teasingly, but admitted more rest was a good idea, since yesterday we had gotten carried away with our song game. He suggested staying with me but I shot it down quickly, resulting in that ever so convincing Cullen pout.

"Don't you try to charm me, mister. You need to go to class!"

"I wasn't trying to charm you, Bella. I was trying to _dazzle_ you." Why did I tell him that again? It was just adding fuel to the fire that was his ego.

"You know if you stay I won't rest. Go please. Don't slack off for me." He finally agreed, leaving me with a parting kiss and caress on my cheek.

I slept most of the day, only getting up to eat the food Edward had so thoughtfully left for me and awkwardly showering while keeping my cast dry. It felt nice to catch up on much needed sleep and to be able to sort through my thoughts.

Edward was incredible. Edward and I were unbelievable. How a god of a man like Edward could want me was beyond my comprehension. I was just so plain and it made me feel unworthy of his affection. He had been the one to confess his feelings first though, so that had to mean something, even if he was too good for me.

But it wouldn't be the first time someone out of my league sought me out, I thought bitterly. Laurent was Mr. Popular and he had asked me out. Yeah, and look what happened there. I was with him for so long, my feelings so strong for the man who betrayed me. But Edward wouldn't do that to me. He wouldn't leave me like Laurent did. I mean, Edward would leave me eventually, I wouldn't be lucky enough to keep him forever, but he wouldn't sneak around behind my back.

Edward treated me better than any man ever has. He was so thoughtful to my needs, something I had found out in a matter of days. Thinking about Edward made me realize something with terrifying clarity. I felt more strongly for him, a man I had known for weeks, than I ever did for Laurent. And I said I loved Laurent. What did that mean I felt for Edward? It couldn't be love, could it? Not this soon. Maybe I didn't really love Laurent, and that's why my feelings for Edward were stronger. That had to be it. It wasn't love; I had to tell myself that. Because I was afraid that if I did love Edward, my heart would stop beating the minute he was gone. So no, it wasn't love. At least, that's what I'd tell myself.

My door suddenly flew open and there was Edward, standing in the doorway, a bag of Panera in his hand and a smile on his face.

"Would it be too much to admit that I missed you so much today?" He asked me as he quickly jogged to my bed, setting the Panera down on my desk.

"No. I missed you too." He really was too much.

"I'm so glad to hear that." He brought his hands to my face, cupping it gently, and kissed me tenderly. Before the kiss could get too heated, he pulled away again.

"Don't pout at me this time. It's too good to resist. How about some food? I figured I ate all your broccoli cheddar that one Friday, so I'd get you some more."

"But you bought me dinner at Flat Top grill to make up for that."

"Don't be stubborn. Just eat it and enjoy." He handed me the bowl and I enjoyed the thick, warm soup as it traveled down my throat and into my stomach.

"How were your classes?"

"Ok I guess. I had a hard time concentrating on my professors. I kept thinking about this insanely gorgeous brunette, lying in bed waiting for me to get back from class."

"I suggest you go find her then. She'd probably be mad at you for taking the time to help me." I tried to throw him a dirty look, even though I knew he was teasing me.

"Please, Bella. _You _are the gorgeous brunette. And you were waiting for me right? I hope you weren't expecting someone else to walk through your door."

"Now that you mention it, Mike did say he was going to stop by." I couldn't help it. I wanted to see what his reaction would be.

"What?" I thought I was a horrible liar, but apparently I convinced Edward I was telling the truth. He was fuming. "And why would that _boy_ be trying to pay a visit to my girlfriend?!"

I was about to laugh at him, but at the mention of the word 'girlfriend,' I sucked it back in, wincing from the pain it brought to my side. Edward saw my face and mistook it as a result of what he said.

"I'm sorry. Is that not the right term? Do you not want to be my girlfriend? It doesn't have to be like that if you don't want." He sounded nervous.

"Well, yes I would love to be your girlfriend. It's just that, well, you never asked me, so I didn't know if that's what you wanted either."

"Bella, more than anything I want you to be mine and only mine. And I want to be yours and only yours too. Please say you'll be my girlfriend." His voice took on a low and husky sound.

"Ok, sure I guess." Edward rolled his eyes at my not so enthusiastic response.

Alice stayed with Jasper again, leaving Edward and I alone for the second night in a row. It was too bad my damn body could not take advantage of this situation. Stupid head, stupid ribs, stupid ankle. Though our lack of intimacy was probably for the best. Edward studied and I caught up on readings and other work I had missed from the past two days. We had to be responsible sooner or later.

Wednesday I unfortunately went to my classes, shuffling around on my crutches, feeling very conspicuous in my cast. I got to biology and found Edward and Alice waiting for me in our usual seats.

"Hey beautiful." Edward smiled at me and helped me into my seat, the one on the end so I could stretch out my bum leg.

Once I was situated, Edward took hold of my hand with one of his and used the other to play with my hair, rub my back, touch my face, really anything to be in contact with my body.

"Mmm. You're skin is so soft, Bella. I can't keep my hands off you."

I was about to say "then don't" when Carlisle walked past us, trying to get to the front of the room before class started.

"Hello Alice. Edward. Bella?" Carlisle took in the sight of Edward and me and gave us a worried look. But he didn't say anything, he just kept walking to the front.

Class went by as normal, but when it ended, Carlisle called Edward and me up to the front to talk to him before we could leave.

"Ooh, you guys are in _trouble."_ Edward laughed at Alice, but I got scared. What if we were in trouble. A TA wasn't really supposed to date students in his class. And it's not as if Edward had tried to hide the fact that he was almost feeling me up when his dad walked by.

"Why don't you two follow me to my office." Carlisle suggested as we approached him. We followed in uncomfortable silence. I was starting to sweat slightly from fear.

Carlisle waved us in then closed the door behind him. He sat behind his desk as Edward and I went to sit in the small chairs next to it.

"So Bella, I noticed you did not take the test on Monday morning."

"Well, as you might've noticed, I got into a bit of an accident and couldn't make it."

"That really is unfortunate."

"I think she'll manage alright though, what do you think Bella?" Edward turned to smile at me and I couldn't help the returning one I gave. Of course Edward was glad I missed the test, it meant I could spend a majority of my days with him.

"Damnit Edward." Carlisle slammed his fist down on his desk. I jumped at the sound, but Edward just glared back at his father.

"Dad, calm down."

"You couldn't have _tried _to hide your relationship? You don't think other students will be suspicious of a relationship between a TA and another student? I mean, Bella would ace the course no problem, but other people wouldn't know that. They'd think you were favoring her."

"But I do favor her." He smiled back at me and I shook my head in disbelief. Now was not the time for Edward to be all smug.

"Edward! You know if it got out that you were dating, the university would have my head on a platter. You are my son!"

"Yes, but the other students don't know that."

"The university does. Once they found out about you two, it would come out. And you know how hard I had to work to let them allow you to TA for me." So that's why Edward had referred to Carlisle as 'Dr. Cullen' the first time I was in this office. It was not common knowledge of their familial relation. They wanted to keep it a secret. "And not to mention letting Alice in the class. The only reason she is in your lab is because I ensured them that you wouldn't favor her, but exactly the opposite, you would be hardest on her work."

"I'm sorry dad, I didn't think about that."

"Clearly you did not. And that test was the only thing saving your relationship and your job. If Bella had tested out, you two would have been free to do whatever you wished. But the way things are now, I cannot allow you to continue to be her TA."

"What are we supposed to do?" It was the first time I had spoken the entire conversation.

"Well, this is where it's difficult. Edward cannot change labs. It's just impossible. I could ask you to switch…"

"But that wouldn't work. This section was the only one that worked for my schedule. Otherwise I would've switched after that first Friday." Edward gave me a disappointed look. "Sorry, it's true. You were an ass." Carlisle laughed a bit, then stopped suddenly, bringing us back to the present.

"The only other option is to put you in a different class all together, one that fills the same requirement you need and also fits into your schedule."

I did not like the sound of that. But what option did I have? I could not continue a relationship with Edward and remain in the class, not now that Carlisle knew about us. But I could also not discontinue my relationship with Edward just to stay in class. So Carlisle helped me look through the different courses I could take instead of biology. At last, we found the only other course I could take that would fulfill my biological science requirement: Human Anatomy.

"Bella, I think you should know, this class is much more difficult than mine. I'm sorry. I wish there was another way, but…"

"I know. It's ok. I'll make it through, no need to worry about me."

We left after filling out the appropriate paperwork to switch my class over. Edward stayed quiet and pensive. It bothered me because it kept him from touching me in anyway.

"Edward, what's wrong?" I grabbed his hand.

"This is all my fault. If it weren't for me, you never would've gotten hurt in the first place and missed that test. And if it weren't for me, you wouldn't have to be taking anatomy instead of just getting the credit like you deserve. You should be angry at me."

"Oh will you please stop beating yourself up over me?! It wasn't your fault I got hurt at the concert. I loved every minute of it until…well you know. But you couldn't have done anything different to save me. And as far as biology, it's fine. I'm actually looking forward to taking anatomy." I gave him a sly smile before whacking him with my crutch playfully.

"How can you be excited to take that class? Do you have any idea how much work it'll be? I've taken it and it almost kicked my ass freshman year!"

"Exactly. You've taken it already." He just looked at me, baffled at my optimism. "You could be my very own private tutor, get me well acquainted with all of the_ human anatomy._" I winked at him and kept walking, leaving him standing stunned in my wake.

* * *

**Songs from this chapter, in order of appearance:**

**Keith Sweat's _Make You Sweat_, Paramore's _Misery Business_, Snoop Dogg's _Gin and Juice_, They Might Be Giant's _Why Does the Sun Shine_, Sublime's _Caress Me Down_, and Chicago's _Baby What a Big Surprise_**

**I'm sure by now most of you realize i listen to music while i listen, and these were just a few of the random songs i came across that i found to be entertaining coming out of edward's mouth. **

**oh, and i know, some of you may be thinking the same thing: human anatomy is not a gen ed course...i know. and while i usually like to keep things very accurate, it was necessary in keeping with the story. so just go along with it por favor.**

i could really use all of your imput here. like i said, i was having difficulties and i'm afraid this just didn't flow with the rest of the story. even tho i was rushed to get it all out, i don't want it to seem rushed. does that make sense? i hope so. what did you think? i can take it, just let me know. crosses fingers and thinks happy thoughts


	15. Chapter 15

**a/n: agh! i don't know what my problem is but it's taken forever to get into the groove of things. everytime i would get somewhere something would hinder my prgress. but i promised that i'd get this out either sat or sund. so i'm barely making the cut off. **

**fyi: date of first day of classes was sept, 23. nu is on quarters so that's why they start later. **

**thank you to all for the alerts and reviews. again, i wanted to list you all but i'm short on time since i have a self imposed deadline to make. but many hugs and love to I'mwiththevampires08 for being the sweetest review whore ever.**

**i could really use your imput bc lately i've been feeling so frustrated and disappointed with myself. i need to know this is turning out well for you. i know where i'm going with this story but it's some of the little things that have me stumped. so if you have any suggestions or whatever, i'd love it!**

* * *

We made it back to my place, Edward having a hard time keeping his hands off me after my little comment. I opened the door and found Alice sitting on my bed, arms crossed in displeasure.

"How could you do this to me, Bella? I thought you loved me!"

"What are you talking about?"

Alice merely pointed an accusing finger at my bed. I followed its path and saw a package, addressed to me, already opened.

"You do know opening someone else's mail is a federal crime." I don't know what had gotten her all pissy but I found the situation funny.

"It was an accident. The real problem is this!" she pulled a card out of the box.

After taking it out of the envelope, I read the outside in dismay. There, in large glittering letters, the words "Happy Birthday" were plastered. I groaned and heard Edward come up behind me.

"It's your birthday? How could you not tell me?"

"Tell me about it!" It was hard to tell who sounded more hurt, my boyfriend or my best friend.

"No, no, no. My birthday was on the 13th, before I even got into town. There was no need to bring it up, it's already passed." I tried to make it seem like no big deal. But something told me Alice wouldn't accept that.

"Don't you think we would've loved to get you a gift too?" Alice pouted, gesturing to the gift still tucked away in the package.

"Yes well, the real question is who this is from. Renee and Charlie already got me something. I don't know who else would be sending me things."

I opened up the card and felt my hands start to shake as I read what was written inside.

_I wanted to give this to you in person on your actual birthday but it seems you've moved away for school. It took awhile to find out where you went. But I visited your mom and she gave me your address. She's a real sweetheart. I just wanted you to know that I thought of you instantly when I saw this. I knew it would make a perfect addition._

There was no signature but I recognized the handwriting. I was on the verge of fainting.

"Bella? What's wrong? Who's it from?" Alice was asking me as her petite arms grabbed a hold of my quivering frame.

I shook my head. Not now, not in front of Edward. Hadn't I just been thinking about this; thinking how my feelings for Edward were so much stronger? Why did this package have to 

show up and make all those painful memories resurface? I was sick of the tears. I was sick of them flooding the earth around me with my sorrow. I was done. I wouldn't let Edward see me like this over _him._

"Who the hell would send _this_ to you?" There was fury in his eyes as he pulled out a lacy baby doll, the exact same color as the lingerie Edward had seen the night of the club.

"Laurent!" Alice gasped out his name and I suddenly found it wasn't so hard to keep from crying. The rage burning inside of me was enough to turn all the moisture trying to escape into steam fueling my hatred for Laurent.

"Who?" Edward was bewildered by now.

"My ex." I spat the words out. I felt like venom had replaced the blood coursing through my veins. The nerve of that arrogant son of a bitch. It had been months since I'd even spoken to him. Not to mention his wife and baby. What the fuck was he thinking sending this shit to me? I wanted to rip the offending piece of clothing to shreds then burn it to ashes.

"Your….your ex?' Edward looked worried. I don't know why though, considering my reaction to the gift was pretty harsh.

Edward came and sat in front of me, taking hold of my hands in his large masculine ones. Alice was behind me, trying to sooth and calm by rubbing my back. I think the two of them were equally shocked to see me so infuriated. I had never showed this kind of emotion in such a high concentration. I'm sure I worried them. So I let them calm me down as much as I could. Edward waited until I was done fuming, before he spoke.

"Alice, could you leave Bella and me alone for awhile?" He looked up at his sister, speaking with his eyes a conversation I couldn't quite understand.

"No problem. I'll just stay with Jazz tonight." I had never heard her sound so soft to her brother, they were usually too busy trying to egg each other on. I guess they really were worried for me.

As soon as Alice left, Edward fixed his eyes on me again.

"Bella, do you want to talk about…whatever it is that is going on?"

No not really, I didn't. It was shameful, admitting to the man of my dreams that I had not been enough to satisfy some washed up, high school jock. If I could not satisfy him, how could I possibly satisfy Edward?

I didn't want to tell him that the guy I had thought I loved, the guy I had dated for so many years, had been sleeping with another girl, knocked her up, and gotten married, right under my nose. How dim-witted could I possibly look?

"You don't have to if you don't want to. But you should know, whatever it is, I will be there for you." He placed his hand on my cheek and slowly danced his fingers along my jaw, melting my resolve to keep this story from him. I guess he did have a right to know, now that we were dating.

"Laurent is my ex." I heaved a heavy sigh as I began my tale of woe. "Remember how you asked about me leaving behind a significant other in Phoenix? I had told you I dated someone for awhile, and that was Laurent. I dated him for my entire 4 years of high school."

Edward let out a long drawn out whistle.

"Yeah, well…things got pretty bad. There was a reason for me coming out to Evanston for school, to get away from him and everything that I associated with 'us'."

"Do you want to keep going? You don't have to if you don't want to." It was so sweet hearing Edward concerned about me. I felt a little bit better about telling him.

"Well..you have to understand, he was a senior when I was a freshman, so most of our relationship was long distance. I didn't see him as often as a normal couple does. And I had never done anything with a guy before Laurent. He was my first and only at _everything_. I thought we were in love, because he told me so, and I thought I wanted to marry him." Edward scowled at the words love and marriage. "But when I graduated and went to visit him I met his pregnant wife instead of seeing him."

"WHAT?!" Edward's face was red with rage. "I WILL KILL THAT FUCKING BASTARD!" he did look murderous and I felt a little scared, not for me but for anyone who could make him so mad.

"Edward, please. It's not worth it. It's over, I told you that. I left my feelings behind in Arizona. I got a fresh start out here and I got you. So I think it was worth it." I tried to smile at him, hoping he would calm down.

"No, Bella. You are so very worth it. You are the most beautiful, inspiring, intelligent, caring…"

"Edward…"

"…person I have ever met. And any _thing _capable of using you like that does not deserve to breathe the same air as you. I almost hate him more than James, which is saying something. I just can't believe he would take your love and turn it into something so despicable. The man you decide to love should revere that as a gift, a blessing from the gods. Because you are an angel, Bella. I hate him. I hate him and I've never even laid eyes on him. I'm so sorry that happened to you. You never deserve anything like that."

I wonder if he realized that I felt myself falling hard for him. Would he still feel the same if I said those three little words to him? Stop it Bella, you do not love Edward. Repeat after me: you do not love Edward.

"Thank you." They were the only words I could force out, seeing as how my mind and heart were waging war inside me.

"No, thank you." Edward wrapped his arms around me and pulled me softly to his chest, placing kisses on my forehead and cheeks.

"For what?" Why is he thanking me?

"For gracing me with your presence." His lips found mine and I felt that familiar tug in my lower stomach.

Again I found it scary that Edward could evoke these types of feelings and reactions from me. I had been with Laurent for over a year before I even began to feel a fraction of the desire I felt for Edward.

"Bella, I…I.." Edward took a deep breath and continued. "am so happy to be here with you. You have no idea. I've never met anyone as incredible as you."

"I was thinking the same thing." His words left me breathless. How could he feel the same way for me? It was beyond description how happy his words made me.

We returned to kissing, the power of Edward's words putting even more passion into the movement of our lips and tongues. I felt Edward slowly take my bottom lip in between his and suck and nibble on mine. I moaned in his mouth and he lowered us on the bed in response. He brought one hand up to my hair, stroking it softly. His lips traveled from my lips, along my jaw, towards my neck. I felt him nip gently at my skin, sucking every so often. I took the absence of his lips to my advantage. I found his ear, and let my tongue reach out to lightly lick the outside of it. He groaned at the sensation and I felt emboldened from the knowledge of how I could affect him. I took his lobe in my mouth and started biting at it, tugging, and releasing it to blow on it.

"Bella." My name was a moan from his lips, his hot breath fanning across my now wet neck.

I moved my hands from his hair down to his chest. I had the sudden urge to touch his muscled chest and the smoothness of his skin. My fingers fluttered at the hem of his shirt, finding confidence with every moan that escaped his luscious mouth. I felt the skin on his lower stomach, reveling in the softness of the path of hair that disappeared under his pants. But no, I couldn't let my hands wander south no matter how much I wanted to feel the bulge that was straining against his jeans. Instead, they made their ascent, touching as much of the heavenly skin as possible. All of a sudden, Edward's hands came down to still mine.

"Bella, we can't." the words came out breathless, possibly because all his air was occupied in the heavy pulls of his lungs.

"Give me one good reason." I was hurt. How could he be rational at a time like this?

"Well, there's this." He gingerly touched my side, reminding me of my painful bruised ribs.

"And then there's this." He placed his hand on my head, indicating my concussion.

"Also this." Then brought his hand down to wrap around my cast.

"But most importantly, I want to do this right. I've never been in a relationship before…just… casual dating. And I want to make sure that we are both ready for this. Especially you Bella. Your break up with Laurent was only a few months ago. And when the time comes for us to be intimate, I want you to know without a shadow of a doubt that it is because I care for you and want to share that with you, not because I am horny and just want to get off."

"How did you get to be so perfect?" Edward's only response was a smile and a chaste kiss on my lips. He was right. I shouldn't rush into something physical with Edward just because my hormones were raging inside of me. But just the mention of him wanting to wait was enough to drive me crazy with lust. I would just have to keep telling myself to cool down.

--

"I'm doomed!" I walked into the boy's apartment, flinging my backpack onto the leather couch that wasn't currently occupied by Edward and Jasper. I just wanted to rip my hair out, or punch somebody, or cry…something to relieve myself of the tension building up inside me.

"Sweetheart, what's the matter?" He looked up at me, taking in my exasperated appearance, then got up and jogged over to me. I felt his warm arms embrace me tightly, somewhat relieving the anxiety I was suffering.

"Eddie! What are you thinking?" Emmett, who was sitting on the floor to be closer to the tv, threw down a controller and stood up to shout some more at Edward. "We just lost thanks to you, lover boy. I hope you're happy!"

"Halo." He responded to my confused face. "So?" He waved his hand in front of him, gesturing me to answer his question.

"Do you realize that today was my first day in my anatomy class and I already have to take an exam on Wednesday? They've already learned about cell, tissue and skin structure! And I have to catch up on all that in just 4 days! I'm doomed!" Tears were starting to leak out of my eyes at the thought of my eminent failed exam.

"Come kill some drones Bella. There's nothing like slaughtering the Covenant to make you feel better." I laughed until I realized Emmett was being completely serious.

"I dunno Em…I've never played that game before. I probably suck."

"Really?" Jasper sounded disbelieving.

"_That _game? _That _game? That game is none other than Halo, Bella. Now get over here and start shooting some bad guys. You have to now. No one should ever go without playing Halo."

An hour later and I was starting to get the hang of things. Taking out my aggression on weird alien things was strangely satisfying.

"Get him! Get him!" I was screaming at the tv, bouncing in my seat. Wow, this game was addicting.

"Bella, maybe we should take a break from Halo. Why don't we start getting you ready for that test." Edward was trying not to laugh.

"Huh, what? Sure, sure."

"C'mon love." That pulled me out of my video game stupor. Did he just call me love? What did that mean?

"Alright, let's go." My voice was shaky, wondering at the possibilities of having Edward call me 'love.' But he must've mistaken the edge in my voice to be nerves at the daunting task ahead of us.

"Don't worry. We'll get you ready. You're going to ace your test." He placed a kiss on the top of my head as he pulled me up and away from the couch.

"Aw Eddie. You are a fun killer. I like playing with Bella. She's way more entertaining than you!" Emmett pouted at Edward and I giggled at the sight. So it was a Cullen thing.

Studying with Edward was really distracting. He would do something as simple as touch my forearm and my mind would veer off to much more explicit thoughts. Before I knew it, we were lying in his bed together, making out.

"Bella…we need to stop." What was it with him and his extraordinary powers of resistance?

"I know. It's just too hard."

"That's what she said!" Emmett poked his head in the bedroom and cackled at us. Edward just picked up his pillow and threw it at him. Emmett managed to close the door just before the pillow reached him. My face burned with the force of my blush.

"He's been watching his dvds of _The Office _and he's been dying to say that line for awhile now." Edward rolled his eyes at his childish brother. "So where were we?"

I leaned in to resume kissing him but Edward put his hand up to stop me.

"I meant, where were we with your class?" I sighed in frustrated acceptance. This weekend was going to suck.

--

Sunday night Edward came up with a brilliant plan.

"Ok, let's go over the rules again. Every correct answer earns you a kiss, no tongue. But you can save up 5 right answers for some tongue action, max of 2 minutes. Got it?" He eyed me speculatively, as if he doubted I could keep my word.

"Got it."

"Alright, tell me…what is the function of a ribosome?"

I bit my lip in concentration. I know this…Remember Bella, it's important. It means you get to kiss Edward!

"Oh yeah, I remember! They're used for protein synthesis. Right? Did I get it right?" I eyed Edward eagerly. He had a grim expression on his face.

"I'm sorry Bella, but you're…RIGHT! Come over here and give me a kiss."

I immediately jumped on Edward, planting my lips firmly to his. But I didn't stop with just a peck. Once our lips touched, my body took over, despite my brain telling me to stop.

"You're not sticking to the rules Bella. My self control is not that good." He frowned at me, but I could tell he wasn't upset.

"I know. I'm sorry. I just couldn't help it."

After that, I decided to save up for one long kiss. Anything less was just unacceptable to me. My lips simply had to have Edward's for longer than a simple brush against. But I had to hand it to him, the plan was working. Motivated with his kisses, I found my brain more readily able to contain all of the terms and processes associated with the body.

--

I was really missing Alice and Edward in class on Monday. I chose a seat in the last row, a tribute to the Cullens I had left behind.

"Hi. I haven't seen you before. Are you new in the class?"

I turned to my right and noticed a guy with dirty blond hair and blue gray eyes. He was pretty cute, though he had nothing on Edward, and I thought it really nice of him to say something to me. I had been feeling lonely.

"Yeah, I just added it on Wednesday. To be completely honest, I'm scared shitless of this class. It wasn't exactly my first choice. And I don't know how well I'll do ." I don't know why I blurted out my insecurities. I think maybe because I had been feeling kind of lost in the class without Edward's help, I lashed out on the first unsuspecting victim to talk to me.

"I wouldn't worry. You seem like an intelligent girl. I'm Dan by the way." He extended his hand out for me to shake.

"I'm Bella. It's nice to meet you." I took his hand and felt a wave of gratitude towards this man who was literally extending a hand of friendship to me.

We stopped talking after that because class had started. After lecture was done, Dan picked up the conversation we had started.

"So how are you feeling about this exam coming up? Do you think you'll be ready by then? A group of us are getting together tomorrow night for a study group. You in?"

"I _think _I'll do alright…my boyfriend took this class already and he's been helping me prepare for it. But I'm down for any extra help I can get." I noticed his eyes narrow at the word 'boyfriend.' But he quickly relaxed his face.

"Sweet. Why don't you give me your number and I'll call you to let you know when and where we're meeting?"

He took out his phone and punched my number in. I took out mine too and had him program his in for me, just in case I needed to get in touch with him. We said goodbye and I couldn't help but like the guy. I could see us becoming good friends and it's always nice to have one in class.

I walked into my room to find Alice and Rosalie on Alice's bed, hunched over something. They looked up at my arrival.

"Hello Bella my dear! It is so lovely to see you!" I knew Alice was up to something, because she was being especially nice to me. Her sweetness was causing my teeth to ache.

"What?" My voice was accusing, and it did not go unnoticed.

"It seems Bella has caught on quick. She can see right through you!" Rosalie started laughing and I noticed how ethereal her voice sounded. Her perfect laugh matched her perfect…everything else.

"So…what's going on?" I looked between the two of them, waiting for whatever it was they had planned.

"Well, we were just trying to figure out Halloween costumes! It's only a week and a half away and we need to be prepared. Oh, by the way, you're invited to a Halloween party at my parents' house that night. It's gonna be so much fun." The longer Alice spoke, the faster and higher her voice got. By the time she finished I figured only dogs could hear her.

I was a little confused. Why did they have those wicked grins covering their beautiful faces? Halloween seemed innocent enough. And a party at the Cullen house sounded like fun.

"So what's the big deal?" Both girls looked at me in horror.

"Bella! Halloween is a very big deal. We have our costumes all picked out and ready to go. But you, my dear, do not I'm sure. I bet you spaced it was even Halloween. So we have decided to take matters into our own hands. You can help us narrow down the choices now that you're here." Alice patted her bed and I walked over to look at the different costumes they had found.

"You're kidding me right? That all just looks like porno costumes. I could _never_ wear something like that. I don't want to look like some skank.

"Have you never seen _Mean Girls_? 'Halloween is the one night a year when girls can dress like a total slut and no other girls can say anything about it.'!"

"I cannot pull off anything like those costumes! Not to mention I have an ugly cast on right now. I don't think that'll look too sexy. What are you guys wearing anyway?"

"Ooh I'm dressing up as the green fairy from _Moulin Rouge_!" She pulled out a picture of a costume that screamed Alice.

It was a very light, pale green tube dress with sequins adorning the trim around the top and bottom. It came with a pair of white wings. It was extremely short and looked to be tight fitting. But on Alice I could hardly call it slutty. She was practically a fairy after all.

"Me next!" I was a little scared to see what Rosalie would be wearing. "Take a look!" She pulled out a picture of her costume and my mouth gaped at the sight.

The costume was clearly supposed to be a take on Little Red Riding Hood. The top was white and black and cropped short, just barely enough to cover Rosalie's chest. The bottom was a red ultra mini skirt, with white toile underneath, making it poof out. And on top of that, there was even a short cape with a hood, detailed with cherries on the inside.

"Um..Rose, are you even going to get a chance to make it to the party?"

"What do you mean?" She looked perplexed at my question.

"I just don't think Emmett is going to leave you alone once he sees you in that outfit. If you even make it, I'm sure you and he will disappear within five minutes."

"Now that's one wager I won't bet against!" Alice laughed and Rosalie just looked pleased with herself.

"But what for Bella? What can she wear that will drive both Edward and little Eddie mad with desire?" Rosalie had an evil glint in her eyes.

"Yes, we do need something that screams 'sex.' Then I'm sure he'll kidnap you so he can have his way with you within minutes as well." How could Alice talk so nonchalantly about her brother having sex?

"I doubt it. We are taking things slow, ya know after the whole Laurent thing." Rose nodded, meaning Alice had told her. I wasn't mad though, she'd find out sooner or later.

"You guys haven't had sex yet?" Alice was amazed. I immediately reddened at her question. "He must really care for you Bella. The Edward we all know had sex on a weekly basis." After the words left her mouth, she looked embarrassed. "I probably shouldn't have said that."

"It's ok. I kinda picked up on that. As long as he's not out screwing every girl he sees anymore. It's just getting very frustrating, controlling our raging hormones." My lips twitched down in a frown.

"I think you'll appreciate his patience with the matter, in the long run." Rosalie patted my thigh as she spoke. It was weird hearing that come from Rosalie, someone I viewed as a very sexual person. Alice had told me her and Emmett slept together on their first date. Though, looking at the two of them, you knew they were meant to be, so I didn't see it as skanky.

"Ok…what should Bella be?" I can't believe Alice was still hung up on finding the 'perfect slutty costume' for me.

"Naughty nurse?" Rosalie suggested.

"No." Alice immediately shot that idea down.

"Frisky fire fighter?"

"No" Alice just made a face at that.

"Sexy school girl?"

"No. No, no no. All those things are too cliché." She perused through the different pictures until finding something that seemed to pass her critical judgement. "Bella, take a look at your perfect costume!"

--

"Breathe Bella." Edward was coaxing me into a more relaxed state. Tomorrow was Wednesday, my first exam in human anatomy.

"I can't do this Edward. I'll forget everything and I'll fail. I can't fail! I'm trying to get on scholarship! Oh shit, I'm so fucked right now!" I was shaking my head at the growing fear that was bubbling inside of my stomach. "I think I'm going to be sick."

Edward sat behind me and started to rub my back. His hands on me were magic. My muscles, previously so tight and wound up, seemed to melt like butter under his very capable hands. Oh god those hands.

"Relax Bella." His warm breath on the back of my neck made me shiver in delight. Just then my phone rang. "Who is Dan?"

"Oh! I forgot to tell you. This guy in my class told me about a study group he and some other people from class were having." Edward frowned at me.

"You don't need to go. I can get you ready just fine."

"Is someone being jealous?" I couldn't help but smirk at him.

"Yes." His answer was so absolute. I wasn't expecting it

The phone fell silent, neither of us speaking and me not daring to answer.

"Edward, you don't have to worry. I only have eyes for you. I was just thinking it would be helpful." I placed a kiss on his cheek, trying to chase away his worries.

"For tonight, why don't you just stay with me and study here. I missed you all day. I need my Bella fix. Please?" Damn him and his 'pleases.' I guess if I was being honest with myself, I didn't want to leave Edward either.

"Fine. I guess I'll stay." I smiled sweetly at him and decided to change the subject before he could think to ask me about Dan from class. "Did you know I'm being forced into the most absurd costume for that little Halloween party at your house? Your sister and Rosalie are ruthless!"

"Wait, Alice and Rose picked out your outfit? Hmm..that could make for a very interesting Halloween." He flashed a crooked grin at me and I shivered again at what his reaction would be to my costume. Alice was so sure Edward would forget all about our promise to wait until we were ready to make that next step and just jump me right then and there.

"Let's hope so." I tried to make my voice as seductive as possible. It must've worked because I noticed Edward's vibrant eyes darken just slightly at my words.

"So, what is it?"

"You know I can't tell you! Alice threatened to kill me if I told you."

"Please?" He pouted at me. Oh, he was clever. He knew exactly what he was doing. And it normally would work, if I wasn't so terrified of his miniature sister. For someone so small, she was incredibly tough.

I shook my head at him. I didn't trust myself to speak. Knowing me, my mind would be thinking 'no' but I'd still blurt out 'ok' and then spill everything.

"Fine, let's get back to studying." He looked slightly disappointed as he pulled my text back on his lap.

"No! I'll tell you! No studying now."

"Too late. Give me four examples epidermal derivative."

--

"EDWARD!!" I almost bashed the door down in my haste to get into Edward's place.

"Well? What's the verdict?" Edward was patiently waiting to hear the results of my exam, or at least appearing to be patient. I could see his leg bounce slightly.

"I PASSED! 87 BABY!" I flung myself into his lap and began ferociously attacking him with my mouth.

"Good…job…Bella…I…knew…you could…do it." He kept getting interrupted by my kisses.

"It's all because of you. I never would've done it without your help!"

"What's all the commotion?" Jasper came out of his room and walked over to us, looking bemused at the sight of me in Edward's lap.

"I passed Jasper!"

"I think this calls for a celebration!" Emmett came running into the living room next, a huge smile plastered on his face. "I'm thinking the Hundo, Friday night!"

"What's the hundo?" Emmett gave me a sly smile

"You'll see Bella. You're gonna love it, trust me."

Knowing Emmett like I do, I did not, in fact, trust him.

* * *

**if you love it, review. if you hate it, review. psh, if you just read it, review. please!**


	16. Chapter 16

**a/n: not sm, never have been and never will be. Though my husband is urging me to become the next stephenie meyer. Haha, he just wants the money.**

**I originally posted this and somehow it came out as chapter 15, who knows how. sorry for the confusion if any of you got multiple alerts!**

**THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU to all of you who reviewed. After such a frustrating last chapter, they made my day and totally helped me get out of my little funk. So I felt the need to publicly thank you all: mangogal, distorted realities, driia (who I can't respond to, so just know thanks), icefang7, MelissaTheTwilightFan, Crystal Heart 2393, DarkMagic10, rosie jo (who I also can't properly thank through replies).**

**Extra special thanks go out to: danger101 whose review totally made me smile and made me feel better!, Mdots who gets my need to have them wait a bit before getting down and dirty, Sheenabe123 whose review had me giggling madly, A Rainbow In Grey Scale who I ranted on about Mean Girls with and who always leaves me great reviews, streadaway for loving my story so much, and of course my review whore I'mwiththevampires08. I added in a certain line, just for you, something you mentioned in your shout out to me, I hope you find it funny. I was laughing as I typed it. **

**Oh, and ILoveJasperWhitlock, I missed you this last chapter! You're reviews totally get me going. Come talk to me soon!**

**Just so you know, all your support totally helped me out. This chapter was so much easier, better, more fun to write and I hope you like it as much as me. **

**There are a lot of songs in this one, but as you'll soon find out, it's kinda necessary and hopefully it adds to the fun of things and doesn't detract. If you get sick of the lyrics, just skim through them. They're not as important as the actual story. But still…I'll list the songs at the end.**

**And because I've been a bit of a drag lately, enjoy a special treat towards the end of the chapter! Can you guess what it is?**

**Sorry, I'll end this and leave you to it! Enjoy!**

* * *

Emmett wouldn't reveal what "the hundo" was and made everyone promise to keep whatever it was a secret from me. But even that couldn't shake my good mood. It was Thursday and I was still reeling from the high I was on once I found out I passed my first anatomy exam.

The phone call from Evanston Hospital made me even giddier.

"Miss Swan? Dr. Weber would like you to come in to do a follow up visit on your ankle. If everything is healing correctly, she wants to put you in a walking cast."

I really hoped everything looked good. I was getting so sick of the damn cast imprisoning my left leg. A walking cast, while still annoying and not very attractive, was 

definitely a major improvement. And besides, maybe the switch would help convince Edward I wasn't as breakable as he thought. Then maybe we could take our relationship to a new level.

My face flushed a slight pink at my mind's ability to take my thoughts from my ankle to a scantily clad Edward.

"What are you thinking about that's got you so flushed?" My immediate response was the darkening of pink to crimson in my cheeks. I had forgotten Edward was right next to me, driving me to the hospital.

"Thanks for taking me Edward. But I could've driven myself."

"Hm, I didn't even know you had a car. Not that it matters though. Where you go, I go. And if I go, I drive." He flashed a smile my way. "And don't think it went unnoticed that you are trying to avoid my question."

My eyes grew wide at his statement.

"Damn, I thought I was being smooth."

"It's ok, I'll let it go…for now." He winked at me then, causing my heart to flutter in my chest like a bird trying to escape its cage.

After a few x-rays, Dr. Weber confirmed that I could indeed replace my cast with a walking one.

"This is really going to help you heal Bella. Plus it will aid in rehabilitating the use of those muscles that have been restricted since the break. But I need you to take it easy on that leg still. Don't push yourself or we'll have to put you back on crutches." I cringed at the words 'take it easy,' knowing Edward would take them to the extreme.

After they removed my full leg cast and replaced it with the walking cast, I felt so much more comfortable. But my leg felt weak and I wobbled when I got to my feet.

"Allow me." Edwards arm snaked around my waist and pulled me in so I was leaning into his side. We walked, or should I say _he _walked while practically dragging me, back to his car.

"So are you going to tell me what's going on tomorrow?"

"As much as I want to, no." He shook his head slightly at me.

"Why not?" I could see his eyes pleading at me before he answered.

"Emmett threatened to give me a 'haircut' in my sleep if I did."

"He wouldn't DARE! You're hair is much too gorgeous to even joke about!" I reached my hand out and ran it through his bronze locks, something I loved I could do whenever I liked now. His eyes partly closed at the sensation, then widened at me, his mouth forming into a tight line.

"That's not the hair he was talking about Bella."

I didn't get what he meant at first. He peeked at me out of the corner of his eye, clearly a little uncomfortable and not wanting to say more. Then I noticed him shift nervously in his seat, drawing my attention to his lower half.

"Oh!" I clapped my hands over my mouth as realization dawned on me. I couldn't even begin to imagine how Emmett could pull that off.

"I'm a deep sleeper." He answered as if he knew what I was thinking. We both shuddered at Emmett's devious side.

--

When I got back to my room I was white as a ghost.

"How was lab?" Alice looked up at me and noticed my lack of color.

"Why didn't anyone warn me about cadaver labs? I have to cut up dead people!" Alice let out an 'ew' as I continued to rant. "And worst of all, a guy who had previously had himself elbow deep in a body, pulled out his tuna salad sandwich and took a bite out of it. He just _ate _it! Like he wasn't just fondling some guy's internal organs!"

"Disgusting." She wrinkled her little button nose at me. "This will help, sugar is good." She handed me a coke which I gulped down greedily.

I plopped down in bed with my coke, looking forward to relaxing some. My eyes slid closed but after a few minutes. I was startled awake by my bed shaking thunderously under me.

"EARTHQUAKE!" I screamed as my hands flew up to cover my head.

I heard tinkling laughter and what sounded like choking.

"Oh my god Bella! An earthquake?" her voice was so loud I knew she was close. I also knew the source of my shaking bed.

"Alice!" I growled the words at her, then noticed we were not alone.

Jasper was on the other side of the room, extremely red faced. His hand was by his face as he spluttered and coughed, tears rolling down his cheeks.

"You almost killed poor Jazz!"

Jasper had apparently been mid drink when I shouted about the earthquake. As a result, he tried to simultaneously swallow and laugh at the same time; not to mention the fizz traveling up through his nose. Just the sight of him caused me to erupt into a fit of giggles, all insult forgotten.

"Jasper if you've recovered enough, Bella and I need to get ready for tonight. So shoo!" She pushed a still very red and runny nosed Jasper out the door.

"What are we getting ready for?"

"Duh! Your celebration night! I'm so excited to go to the Hundo."

"Which still means nothing to me!" I was getting frustrated at them all for keeping this from me. I hate surpriseds.

"I'll tell you this: it's a fave of the college scene. You'll love it, trust me!" Alice was my best friend and all, but that didn't mean I trusted her much more than Emmett. The Cullen siblings equaled sneaky, I had quickly learned.

Alice so _graciously _allowed me to wear jeans. They were 7s skinny jeans she had unknowingly purchased for me, but they were still jeans. It could be worse, I could be stuck in a skirt.

She let me pick my top, but it had to be one of the items she had bought for me when we went to Woodfield Mall. I decided to go with the most comfortable thing I could find.

"Is this a _t shirt_ Alice?" I mocked horror at the thought.

"Yes, well, it's Marc Jacobs so it makes it alright."

I slipped it on. The shirt was a coral pink with a black fishnet print on it. The neck was slightly boat necked with short sleeves. And it fell just below my hips. Again, Alice was being nice when she held up a pair of white slip on Keds.

"We don't want you to trip in front of everyone!" She laughed at that, but I didn't quite get why she'd think I'd be in front of a lot of people.

When we finished getting ready, we walked over to the parking lot. I automatically headed towards Emmett's hummer when I felt a hand grip my shoulder and a voice in my ear whisper.

"Silly Bella. You and I are taking my car tonight."

"Oh yeah, the _little _Volvo." It was just too easy. I couldn't help myself.

"I'll show _you _little!" he picked me up and threw me over his shoulder.

"Is…that…a…promise?" I squeaked out through my laughs, smacking his butt playfully.

"Yes." His voice was rough and husky.

He set me gently on my feet, remembering my bad ankle. But the look in his eyes was anything but gentle. His normal vibrant green eyes were smoldering and looked almost black in color.

"C'mon you two! Get a move on! You can go at it like bunnies when we get back!" I blushed at Rosalie's comment, which she had to yell across the parking lot, allowing anyone within a 25 foot radius to listen. Edward just gave me a sexy smirk.

"Have I told you just how beautiful that color is on you?" he reached out and stroked along my cheek. Of course the color in my cheeks deepened at that. "It's quite exquisite." Oh this man would be my undoing.

--

We pulled up next to a building which read '1800 Club.' That didn't really clear up anything. As Edward and I walked up to it, I heard the sounds of bad, drunken singing.

"Please tell me this is not what I think it is!" my friends wouldn't hurt me like this, would they?

"KARAOKE!" Emmett threw his arms up and started doing the 'Frank the Tank' motions from _Old School. _

"No!" I looked at Emmett and Rosalie who were laughing at me.

"No." I looked at Alice who was bouncing up and down, and Jasper who was trying to restrain her.

"No?" My eyes met Edward who gave me a reassuring smile.

"It'll be ok. You don't have to sing. Watching Emmett perform is your reward for passing. He puts on quite the show." I relaxed at his comforting words.

We walked into the Hundo, only to be confronted by a vast crowd of NU students. The place was packed.

"Usual table guys?" A girl with long dark hair appeared in front of us. "Oh, 6 tonight instead of the usual 5?"

Edward pulled me to him tightly before nodding his head at the girl.

"Cool! I'm Leah by the way." She pulled me into a tight hug and showed us to our seats, situated around a table close to the stage.

Emmett ordered a round of drinks and I as pretty hesitant to let myself swallow any alcohol that night.

"Don't worry, Bella. I won't let anything happen to you tonight. Trust me."

He was right. There was no James and Edward would make sure to never leave my side tonight, especially if I asked him. I took a sip. There was nothing wrong with enjoying a few casual drinks with friends.

My ears were assaulted by the sounds of drunken sorority sisters singing _Lady Marmalade. _

"Get off the stage you skanks!" Rosalie stood up to yell at the stumbling girls.

"Seriously, the three of us are _way _sexier than those girls without even having to rub on each other!" Alice started yelling at me and Rose, trying to be heard over the music. "We should show them how it's done!"

"I think I'd need a few more drinks in me to do that!" I was joking but Alice and Rose must've taken me seriously because they called over Leah for some drinks.

Emmett stood up suddenly and pulled Edward out of his seat.

"C'mon little bro! It's our time to shine!" Edward gave me a goofy grin while being dragged on stage.

The music started and I began laughing when I thought of the band that had gotten Emmett in trouble all those years ago.

_This is the greatest and best song in the world…Tribute_ – Emmett bowed his head before bringing it back up to continue

_Long time ago me and my brother Eddie here _– he pointed at Edward, who was standing on his left

_We was hitch hiking down a long and lonesome road._

_All of a sudden, there shined a shiny demon_

_In the middle of the road_

_And he said _– Edward ran over to the right of Emmett, to play the part of the demon

"_Play the best song in the world_

_Or I'll eat your souls"_

_Well me and Eddie _– Edward ran back to the left of Emmett

_We looked at each other_

_And we each said_

_Ok_

_And we played the first thing that came to our heads_

_It just so happened to be_

_The best song in the world_

_It was the best song in the world _– Edward joined in for the harmony

_Look into my eyes and it's easy to see_

_One and one make two_

_Two and one make three_

_It was destiny_

_Once every hundred thousand years or so_

_When the sun doth shine and the moon doth glow_

_And the grass doth grow_

_Needless to say_

_The beast was stunned_

_Whip crack went its schwumpy tail_

_And the beast was done_

_He asked us _– Again Edward ran to the other side of Emmett for the demon part then back for the Eddie part

_Be you angels?_

_And we said "nay_

_We are but men_

_Rock_

Emmett and Edward both started the "ah's" and "oh's" with impeccable harmony, reminding me of how they sang _Bohemian Rhapsody._

_This is not the greatest song in the world_

_This is just a tribute_

_Couldn't remember the greatest song in the world_

_No, this is a tribute_

_To the greatest song in the world_

_It was the greatest song in the world_

With that the two brothers began skatting the next part of the song, resulting in hoots and hollers from the crowd

_And the peculiar thing is this my friends_

_The song we sang on that fateful night_

_It didn't actually sound anything like this song_

_This is just a tribute_

_You gotta believe me_

_And I wish you were there_

_It's just a matter of opinion_

_Ah, fuck! Good God, God lovin',_

_  
So surprised to find you can't stop it_

When the song finished we jumped to our feet to applaud the brothers on stage. Emmett started pumping his arms doing his "Frank the Tank" impersonation again as Edward patted him on the back, smiling from ear to ear.

They got back at the table and I gave Edward a kiss to show him a job well done.

"Wow Edward! I'm impressed."

"Yeah, Tenacious D is a guilty pleasure Em and I share."

"So do you know all the words to "Fuck Her Gently" too?" I loved doing this to him

"Yes, shall I jump back on stage and serenade you?" he got up, ready to do it as I screamed for him to stop

"No! I was joking!"

"Later then. I'll serenade for you when we're alone."

I was starting to feel warm all over, and not just from Edward. I guess it was easier to drink when there aren't any rufies slipped in.

"I need to go to the bathroom."

"No Bella! You can't break the seal!" I didn't really understand Emmett's comment but decided I didn't care. If there were any repeat performances like the one earlier, I would pee my pants without the aid of a bathroom first.

I felt very relieved after finishing in the bathroom. As I was walking back, I bumped into someone walking towards the bar.

"Oomph!" the guy seemed taken aback from the knock.

"I'm sorry."

"Bella?" A vaguely familiar name called me. "It's me, Dan, from anatomy?" He smiled at me then.

"Oh yeah of course! How are you?"

"Good. Especially now. But you a drink?"

"Um…I don't' think so." It would be a long time before I accepted drinks from anyone outside my circle of friends.

"Aw, c'mon. It's not like I'm gonna slip anything it it!" He laughed but I visibly blanched at his comment. "Oh my god. Did someone do that to you?" I just continued to stare at him. "Oh Bella. I am so sorry. I didn't mean anything by it, honestly!"

"It's…it's ok. You didn't know. How about we talk about something else though."

"Ok…how did you do on the exam?" He seemed eager to know.

"I passed! I got an 87! That's actually why I'm out here tonight, to celebrate!"

"With her boyfriend." I heard Edward behind me, then felt his hands pull me back, hard and possessively.

"Edward?" Dan had a shocked look on his face.

"Dan." Edward greeted him back in what he thought was a polite voice. But I could hear the jealousy and animosity hidden in the background.

"Hm. I didn't take you for the relationship type. Though I can understand your change. Any guy would be lucky to have Bella all to himself."

Edward growled at Dan's comment about me. I just flushed pink.

"How do you two know each other?" I was confused.

"Dan was in my anatomy class, freshman year."

"What? So why are you taking it now?" I could not understand what I was missing.

"I'm a TA in the class Bella." Oh the irony.

"You should know better than to flirt with one of your students, Dan."

"But…" I started to speak but Edward squeezed me to keep quiet.

"_Technically _she's not my student, she's in a different lab. Fair game in my opinion." He winked at me and I blushed again at the unwelcome attention, which I think he misread.

"Well, she's off limits, so go find some other girl to seduce."

"That's fine. See you in class Bella!" Dan laughed then walked away.

"What was _that_ about?" I demanded once we made it back to our table.

"Let's just say I know Dan pretty damn well, from back when I was a lot less…noble. I'd prefer if you'd stay away from him in class." I rolled my eyes at him for a response. What did it matter if I was anywhere near Dan? He could never catch my attention like Edward.

"Ladies, I think it's time." Rosalie declared as yet another group of slutty girls got finished singing "Milkshake."

Alice and Rose pulled me aside to ask if I recognized the song they'd chosen. When I said I did, they both got that wicked look in their eyes.

"Leah!" Alice waved down Leah and leant over to whisper something in her ear. "Make sure it gets sent over to them ASAP!"

Leah giggled and nodded so much she resembled a bobble head.

I had no idea what these two girls were planning. Frankly I was scared.

"Don't worry, Rose and I will sing the first two verses by ourselves and you join in on the third if you'd like. Oh and here, you'll probably need this." Alice, sensing my nerves, handed me a double shot of vodka.

"Thanks." I said after slamming back the liquor. I needed to be drunk and quick or I'd start thinking about what I was about to do. "But I think I'd like to try singing the third part by myself."

We got up on stage and saw Leah bring over to the boys three bowls of chocolate ice cream. Another server brought us girls three ice cream cones. This could only mean trouble!

The music started as Rosalie and Alice sauntered closer to the mic. I tried to follow suit but don't know that I pulled it off. Rosalie took a big lick of her ice cream before she started singing.

_I can give you what you want. _

_  
I can make your heart beat short. _

_  
I can make you ice cream _

_  
We could be a sweet team _

_  
Melting in your vice dreams, sport._

Watching Rosalie work the song was truly astounding. I had never seen a woman more alluring. Her hips swayed back and forth sensually. I had a hard time paying attention, wishing I could look like that. But immediately following her lines, Alice started in.

_I can be the sauce you crave. _

_  
I can spell what you can't say. _

_  
Chocolate flavor love theme _

_  
Treat the treats you so mean _

_  
Covering your nights and days._

The three boys were staring, open mouthed at us, spoons raised midway to their mouth. I smirked at their dessert when I heard Alice mention the chocolate flavor. I couldn't think on it long because I was up next. I mentally prepared myself, trying to sex myself up for this.

_Let me give you what you'd like. _

_  
I can make your mouth run dry. _

_  
Drink me like a liquor _

_  
C'mon and dip your dipper _

_  
Show me what you're here for, guy._

The lyrics were all too appropriate for my situation with Edward. At the words dip, I rocked my hips in a circle then dropped my butt low to the ground. Once I was finished I slowly swayed back up, taking a lick of my cone. Edward had taken a bite of his ice cream and I noticed how slowly he swallowed it, his hand gripping the spoon so tightly it was starting to bend.

_I can give you what you want. _

_  
I can make your back real taunt _

_  
Fantastic flavor fancies – _

_  
Sick like Syd and Nancy – _

_  
Wicked as a joyride jaunt._

The three of us singing together looked to be too much for the guys to handle. I noticed Emmett stand up, wishing to approach the stage. Rosalie gave him a wink then took another lick of her cone, which was starting to melt by now. Alice put the whole scoop in her mouth, twisting it around with her tongue. Jasper was sweating slightly at the sight. I decided to be a bit daring. I took a bite out of the end of the cone and started sucking out the ice cream. I thought Edward was going to faint from the sight.

_What you want _

_  
I can give you what you want_

_  
What you want _

_  
I can give you what you want, you want _

_  
You want _

_  
I can give you what you want_

_  
What you want _

_  
You want _

_  
Whatcha whatcha want now_

I noticed we were having similar effects on the rest of the male population. When the song was over, the guys snapped out of their reverie and took in the rest of the men in the room. They rushed on stage to hurry us off. As we exited, the guys in the crowd all whistled and applauded for us. Some were even shouting for an encore.

"That was…that was…" Edward tried to vocalize his feelings but couldn't quite.

"Wow." Jasper finished the sentence for him.

"Yeah." Emmett's eyes were glazed over as he took in Rosalie, ice cream cone still in hand.

"Thanks boys!" Without another word, we all took our seats, leaving the guys staggered and still.

"Gents, I think we need to confer over here." Edward pulled the guys to a corner and they started whispering and looking over at us, trying for mysterious.

"Did you see them?!" Alice was clapping her hands at our sexual prowess.

"See, we are way hotter than any of the two bit whores here!" Rosalie was nodding her head up and down as if to confirm her statement.

"That was a lot of fun. I didn't think I'd be able to do it, but I did!" it had been very invigorating to sing up on stage, especially when I saw how much Edward seemed to like it.

"God, I thought little Eddie was going to burst!" Rosalie giggled and Alice started clapping again at her comment.

"How you can talk about sex and your brother in the same sentence is so disturbing!" I don't think I'd ever get used to it. "What do you think they're planning?"

"Our revenge I suppose." Alice looked bored, as if she didn't think they could come up with anything useful.

Just then, the lights dimmed and Edward, Jasper, and Emmett walked on stage. The music started and I got really nervous at what was to come. Jasper came up to the mic first, his eyes only on Alice.

_Come inside, take off your coat, I'll make you feel at home._

_  
Now let's pour a glass of wine 'cause now we're all alone._

_  
I've been waiting for you girl, just let me hold you close to me,_

_  
'Cause I've been dyin' for you girl, to make love to me._

I heard Alice sigh loudly and stare back at Jasper longingly. Then Edward came up next. I held my breath, knowing whatever he'd sing would be that much better because of the sex so evident in his voice.

_Girl, you make me feel real good._

_  
We can do it 'til we both wake up._

_  
Girl, you know I'm hooked on you,_

_  
And this is what I'll do..._

I found myself lost in the words he sang to me. The idea of us together, all night long was too much to handle. He stepped back a little to allow Jasper next to him. Then the two of them sang together for the chorus

_I wanna sex you up.  
_

_All night.  
_

_You make me feel real good._

_  
I wanna rub you down._

_  
I wanna sex you up_

Next up was Emmett, and he had a smug look on his face, knowing the words he was about to sing to Rosalie.

_Let me take off all your clothes._

_  
We'll disconnect the phone so nobody knows._

_  
Let me light a candle,_

_  
So that we can make it better._

_  
Makin' love until we drown._

Rosalie started fidgeting in her seat, probably from imagining the two of them together so intimately. Edward came back to the mic to sing again.

_Girl, you make me feel real good._

_  
We can do it 'til we both wake up._

_  
Girl, you know I'm hooked on you,_

_  
And this is what I'll do..._

The way his eyes roamed over my body made me giddy with excitement. The three of them started singing the chorus again, slowly gyrating their hips in our directions. Three pairs of eyes worked their way down to the guys' lower halves. I'm sure every girl in the building was doing the same thing too.

Emmett and Jasper stepped back from the mic, allowing Edward free reign of the song. The next lines he sang came out lower than usual, hitting the bottom part of his vocal range.

_Girl, you just make me feel so good_

_I just wanna, I just wanna look at you_

_Don't say anything at all_

_Just lay back and enjoy the ride_

_Make sweet lovin' all night long..._

Feels so right it can't be wrong...

_Don't be shy girl rescue me..._

Open up your heart and I'll set you free...

_Oh, I wanna touch you in all the right places baby_

_I wanna make love to you baby, yea_

_All night, all night, yeah_

His baritone voice caressed every word, making me pool wetness between my legs. The urge to pull Edward off stage and drag him to a darkly lit corner was overwhelming. Of course, that was his intention. He was trying to seduce me and it was working. If he doesn't go through with any of those words tonight I think I will fall apart at the seams.

Their song ended but none of us girls got up to get them. We were too overheated to move. The guys walked slowly over to us, all three grinning hugely at how we must've looked.

"Did you enjoy the show ladies?" Emmett was flexing his muscles in front of Rosalie, trying to show off even more.

"You guys play dirty." Rosalie scowled at him, but I could tell she liked it.

"We like to get dirty, don't we?" Edward smirked at me and I was left dumbfounded at his use of sexual innuendos in front of Alice.

We decided that we all needed to cool down before we lost it right in the middle of the Hundo. Leah brought some more drinks and we began chatting about plans for Halloween, trying to distract us some more.

I wasn't really paying attention though. My mind refused to leave the memories of Edward on stage, singing to me about how much he wanted to make love to me. God, please let him mean it, tonight. How much could one girl possibly take? I decided if he didn't make a move tonight then I would. Screw him and his "noble" side, as he called it earlier. I wanted dirty Eddie to come out to play.

The entertainment was lacking and I was feeling majorly buzzed.

"Someone needs to go up there and rescue us from the mundane!" I was whining and I knew it, but the alcohol in me didn't let me care.

"Bella! I have the best song for you to sing!" Alice dragged me out of my chair and to the stage. She told the DJ which song it was and left me to fend for myself. I was too drunk to be nervous, especially after the ice cream fiasco. Once the music started, I smiled lazily over at Edward.

"Hey, I know this song!" I yelled it into the mic and I heard sniggers coming from all sides. I decided to focus all of my attention on Edward as I sang. This should be my theme song, I thought briefly before singing.

_First time, that I saw your eyes_

_  
Boy, you looked right through me, mmm mmmm_

_  
Played it cool, but I knew you knew_

_  
That cupid hit me, mmm mmm_

You got me trippin, stumblin

_  
Flippin, oh, fumbling, oh_

_  
Clumsy cause I'm fallin in love in in love_

_  
You got me slippin oh, tumblin, oh_

_  
Sinkin oh, crumbling, so_

_  
Clumsy cause I'm fallin in love in in love_

_  
So in love with you  
_

_Can't help it_

_  
Girl can't help it (oh baby)_

_  
Can't help it_

_  
Girl can't help it (oh no)_

_  
Can't help it_

_  
Girl can't help it (no how)_

_  
Can't help it_

Can't breathe, when you touch my sleeve

_  
Butterflies so crazy, mmm mmmm_

_Whoa now, Think I'm goin down_

_  
Friends don't know what's with me Mmm mmm  
_

_You got me trippin oh, stumblin, oh_

_  
flippin Oh, fumblin so_

_  
Clumsy cause I'm fallin in love in in love_

_  
You got me slippin oh, tumblin oh_

_  
Sinkin oh, crumblin so_

_  
Clumsy cause I'm fallin in love in in love_

_  
So in love with you_

Can't help it

_  
Girl can't help it (oh no)_

_  
Can't help it_

_  
Girl can't help it (oh please)_

_  
Can't help it_

_  
Girl can't help it (oh no)_

_  
Can't help it_

You know this ain't the first time this has happened to me

_  
This love sick thing_

_  
I like serious relationships and _

_  
A girl like me don't stay single for long_

_  
'Cuz everytime a boyfriend and I break-up_

_  
My world is crushed and I'm all alone, _

_  
The love bug crawls right back up and bites me_

_  
And I'm back_

Can't help it

_  
Girl can't help it (in in love)_

_  
Can't help it_

_  
Girl can't help it (oh god)_

_  
Can't help it_

_  
Girl can't help it (I'm back in love)_

_  
Can't help it_

_  
Can't help it_

_  
GirL can't help it (I'm back in love, yeah)_

_  
Can't help it_

_  
Girl can't help it (I'm back in love, yeah baby)_

_  
Can't help it_

_  
Girl can't help it (I'm back in love, yeah)_

_  
Can't help it (I know you got me)_

You got me trippin oh, stumblin oh

_  
Flippin oh, fumblin so_

_  
Clumsy cause I'm fallin in love in in love_

_  
You got me slippin oh, tumblin oh  
_

_Sinkin oh, crumblin so  
_

_Clumsy cause I'm fallin in love in in love  
_

_So in love with you_

Clumsy cause I'm fallin in love in in love

_You got me slippin oh, tumblin oh  
_

_Sinkin oh, crumblin so  
_

_Clumsy cause I'm fallin in love in in love  
_

_So in love with you  
_

_So in love with you  
_

_So in love with you_

After the song finished I found my seat and Edward cuddled up next to me.

"You sing beautifully, love." His voice had a slight shake in it but I couldn't tell why.

"Thanks! It was just for you Eddie boy!" I leaned in to kiss him but he pulled back slightly which resulted in a pout from me.

"You're drunk." He frowned and his eyes closed ever so slightly.

"How could you tell?" I giggled furiously.

"You called me Eddie." He sighed then came back to my lips to kiss me.

--

EPOV

This whole night has been crazy.

First, finding out that the Dan who had called Bella, the Dan in her class, was none other than Dan Anderson. Dan Anderson who I used to go "fishing" with. We hung out back in the days when all I was seeking was a one night stand. To my knowledge, he is the same way now as he was then, just looking for some tail. I may trust Bella, but I do not trust him. I knew I had to lay low though. If Dan found out how jealous I was, he'd be sure to tell Bella horror stories about our more reckless past. I knew Bella knew I was 

less than honorable with women before, but I didn't need her to hear it almost straight from the horse's mouth.

Then, watching Bella sing that song with the other girls…I felt myself harden in my pants just from watching her mouth form those words. Then when she bit the tip off her cone and sucked out the ice cream, I thought I would lose it completely and cum right there, without even needing her touch. I knew she was sexy, but I had never seen this temptress side of her. Damn, I wanted her, tonight.

I wanted to show her just how much I wanted her. So when Emmett, Jasper and I got on stage, I had eyes only for Bella. I wanted the lyrics to sink in. Please Bella, let me sex you up. Those were my thoughts the entire song. Every word I sang rang true. I wanted to lay at her feet, worship her sensual curves and pay homage to her silky smooth skin. I wanted my hands to touch and caress every inch of her body. I would leave no part of her unexplored. My mouth watered at the very thought of being able to _taste_ her. Mmm, I know she'll taste delicious.

Sure, I'm a man, and as such, pretty easy to arouse. But I had never felt this longing so powerfully before. It burned me up inside, leaving a fire that only she could quench. I knew now that no other woman would be able to sate my thirst. Did she realize what she did to me? I felt myself exploring all these new feelings with her. They were stronger than anything I could imagine. For God's sake, I almost professed my love for her. When we were sitting on her bed, after talking about that rat bastard Laurent, the words nearly slipped out. I did manage a quick cover up. I couldn't proclaim my adoration for her that strongly, not yet anyway. I did not want to overwhelm her, no matter how true the words were. So I would keep them inside until I knew her heart was one hundred percent, completely mine. And then I would never let her go again.

Just then, Bella got up and started singing "Clumsy," a song I didn't really care about. But with Bella singing it, it was my new favorite! I laughed when I thought of how clumsy she is in real life. The title of her life fit her well. She was swaying to the music, unknowingly, and it was turning me on even more. The fact that she didn't know she was doing it made it all the more appealing. And every time she sang the word "oh" she rolled her body skillfully. Where did she learn to move like that? God I bet she's good in bed. The way her hips moved put me in a trance and once again, I was harder than ever before.

But when she reached the chorus, I felt myself stiffen in a different way. "Clumsy cause I'm fallin in love"? Is Bella falling in love with me? Could I be so lucky? I didn't think she'd confess such deep feelings to me in a song, but maybe it was easier for her that way. The entire song, all I could think of was that Bella Swan was falling in love with me, _me!_ I am the luckiest guy in the world.

Bella swayed her body over to me after she was done singing.

"You sing beautifully, love." In fact, she sounded like an angel, such heavenly words I had never heard before.

"Thanks! It was just for you Eddie boy!" Bella never called me Eddie. She knew I hated it. It was then that I noticed her swaying wasn't due to her tries for seduction.

"You're drunk." The knowledge of it struck me hard. Of course she was drunk.

"How could you tell?" she giggled at me then, and even though I was disappointed, her sweet laughter filled me up

"You called me Eddie." I sighed, probably a bit too loudly. Those words, the "falling in love" part, they were all just meaningless words in a song. She didn't mean them. She probably didn't even know what she was singing. She didn't love me. The truth hurt more than a thousand knives piercing my skin. But I vowed that I would be the one to make her fall in love. I would make her see. I will do everything in my power to make sure Bella Swan falls hopelessly, madly, deeply in love with me.

By the time we got back to the dorms, Bella was asleep. I guess my plan would have to wait until tomorrow.

* * *

**So the songs are: Tenacious D's "Tribute" (I know, I've used them before kinda. But I just totally see Emmett being a fan. I think it fits him), New Young Pony Club's "Ice Cream" Color me Badd's "I Wanna Sex You Up" and Fergie's "Clumsy" I highly recommend listening to the songs if you aren't familiar with them, bc I think it adds to the whole effect of the chapter!**

**As always, reviews are gladly received. I'll take the good with the bad. And if you alert my story, I'd love a review too! They're so much fun. Like I've said before, I crave them. I truly am a review whore!**


	17. Chapter 17

**a/n: not sm. Though if I were, I'd finish midnight sun. I'm so disheartened to think she may never finish it. Why god why? It's torturous news. Do you all agree with me? If she doesn't finish it I might just cry. I'm literally pouting right now thinking about it. **

**Anyway**

**I wanted to briefly touch on a common thought I ran across in reviews. In regards to Edward dismissing Bella's declaration of love as drunkenness: Bella does love Edward, yes, but even she won't admit it to herself. If you've ever seen Hercules the Disney version, then you might understand if you think of that one song Meg sings…"at least out loud I won't say I'm in love" or however it goes…(is it lame to use Disney to illustrate a point?) she is confused a bit, thinking it impossible to love someone so suddenly and readily after coming out of a 4 year relationship just months earlier. Plus she hasn't known Edward that long. Edward doesn't think she loves him, not yet at least, because she is just singing the lyrics and he feels like he hasn't done enough to earn that yet. He realizes how tender her heart is after such a hard thing to go through. I know (and I mentioned this to some of you) if a guy was singing to me, talking about loving me, while being drunk, I'd have a hard time accepting it for absolute truth. More like the absolut talking than the heart. Haha. **

**Shout outs go to: notthesun, justm, ieatsourgrapes, manyafandom, cheesy-brain10, icefang7, distorted realities, stardust 1989, MelissaTheTwilightFan, A Rainbow In Grey Scale, DarkMagic 10, danger101, iheartryan, jenuhlyn, sweetlovein, mara-elisa, tw-i-see-light, Rosie jo, carmelinagunn, muggleinlove (I'm glad you're a review whore too. We do all need to stick together), iloveJasperWhitlock (I'm glad you're back!), and i'mwiththevampires08 (my fave review whore. Hurry and update! you know I'm impatient!) of course, thanks to all who alert this story or me as an author. There are way too many of you to publicly thank. Though if you do review I will make sure to do just that. (that's a verbal nudge to the side to get you to review. Haha)**

**Sorry again for the delay in the update. life happens and I found myself busy with it. So even though this chapter is a bit shorter than the last, I hope it lives up to all of your high standards..it's getting harder and harder to do at this point. **

* * *

"Bella, wake up love." Edward's hands came up to brush my cheek.

"No." I nuzzled into his hand, trying to burrow further into my covers.

"C'mon sleeping beauty, for me?" even though I couldn't see him, I knew he was pouting.

"You know, in the story the prince has to kiss sleeping beauty to wake her up." I kept my eyes shut tight while I spoke, trying to keep myself from smiling.

"If it's in the story then…"

Before I could react, Edward's lips were on mine. I expected something sweet and chaste. Instead Edward's tongue slid out and was forcing my lips apart. I gratefully allowed him to, longing to feel his tongue stroke mine.

My hands reached out of their own accord, grabbing onto his hair and pulling him down on top of me forcefully. When our bodies made contact we both moaned in pleasure.

He left my mouth to suck and bite along my neck. His hands traveled up my sides, slipping underneath my top, rubbing along my soft skin.

"Oh Edward, that feels so good."

His touches were forcing my mind to shut down. My body now had full control, and what it wanted was Edward. My hips began moving, grinding against his, letting me feel just how excited he was.

"Bella…oh…if you don't…oh…stop…I won't be…oh…able to." Each moan was like an exclamation to his sentence.

"And if I don't want you to stop?"

Edward stopped moving, and I think even breathing, for a few seconds before leaning down to my ear.

"You really shouldn't have said that."

He gave me a wicked smile then sat me up. I didn't realize what he was doing until I felt him pull my shirt up and take it off.

"Edward!" I screamed a bit from shock.

"I told you." Again he smiled at me.

All of a sudden, Edward pushed me roughly back down on the bed. He crawled up my body, looking like a lion about to dig his teeth into its meal. The description wasn't too far off because next thing I knew, Edward's mouth was clamped over my right breast, gently biting through my bra.

"Oh Edward!" His teeth grazing my nipple through the lace of my bra was so erotic.

"I need to see if they taste as good as they look."

And with that his hand slipped underneath me, behind my back, skillfully unclasping my bra. He pushed my bra up out of the way, not even bothering to take it off completely in his hurry. His mouth came down again, this time taking in my left nipple. His clever tongue ran circles around it, giving occasional flicks. I whimpered at his touch.

"Mmm…They do taste quite delicious. I bet the rest of you is even more exquisite though." And, with wide eyes I watched as Edward trailed his tongue lower and lower, pausing to suckle at my hip bones, before pulling my pajama bottoms off.

His head went between my legs. And my previously damp panties were now completely soaked.

"Mmm" He repeated. "Your smell is so alluring Bella."

My body was tensed, ready for his mouth to devour me. But Edward seemed to find his patience at last. He made no move to continue.

"Please, Edward."

"Tell me what you want Bella."

"Oh!" I couldn't speak because his warm breath blown against my sopping wet panties made me shiver in delight.

"Bella." I still couldn't respond. "Bella?" Edward's voice sounded different, but how?

"BELLA!"

I snapped up in bed, only to find Edward gone. In his place, Alice was watching me warily.

Oh god. It was a dream. I was having a wet dream about Edward.

"Wow. What were _you _dreaming about?" the look on her face told me she had a pretty good idea what it was. But I thought I could still try.

"I was having a nightmare about my cadaver lab." I hope I wasn't sleep talking, because then she'd know I was lying flat out.

"So, you're a necrophiliac?"

"What?!"

"You're into dead people. I guess it helps if they're named Edward too, huh?" She smiled at me and I felt my face redden with embarrassment.

"Oh my god Alice, just shut up about it." Her laughter rang out like a bell.

"It's ok Bella. Just be grateful Edward didn't stay the night. Otherwise…well…those dreams would've become a reality."

"What was I doing in my sleep? Wait…Edward didn't stay with me last night?" Since we began dating I don't' think either of us had slept alone.

"No, I don't know why he didn't stay, probably to keep from taking advantage of you while you slept! As far as what you were doing…well, you were moaning a lot and you said 'Edward' over and over. Plus, it looked like you were feeling yourself up." She started laughing again.

"This is really embarrassing." I let my head fall in my hands, trying to hide.

"So I take it little Eddie still has yet to make an appearance in your relationship?" I nodded my head, which was still hiding behind my hands. "He's never been so considerate of a woman before. You know, he really likes you. But I don't think he'll be able to hold out much longer. After last night, I'm surprised he didn't bust his load. I'm sure if you use your feminine wiles, he'll be putty in your very capable hands."

I thought about it for a minute. He _did _seem really turned on last night. And the boys' song choice was surely indicative of their true feelings, right? I'm sure I could tip the scale in my favor…I would just need the right opportunity.

Since Alice always decided to wake up at an ungodly hour of the morning, and she had jarred me from my rather _vivid _dream, we had plenty of time to kill before the boys would even be up. So we decided to be good and do some homework. I found it hard to concentrate, again, thinking about Edward. My mind went back to last night. Dan and Edward had been, for lack of a better word, friends. But Dan's words kept coming back to me. His tone of voice, so surprised at Edward being in a steady relationship, kept looping in my brain. That conversation had me wondering what Edward had truly been like.

I was in the middle of writing down some notes when my phone rang. The shrill ring breaking the silence caused my pen to fly across the paper in surprise. My heart beat was racing, and seeing Edward's name on the caller id only made it go that much faster.

"Hello beautiful." He spoke before I even had a chance to answer properly.

"Hi. I missed you this morning." I sounded breathless and felt my stomach flutter at having just admitted that to him.

"Me too. I don't sleep nearly as well without you. I've grown very accustomed to having you in my arms." I thrilled at his words. "So I was wondering if you'd like to do something today." He sounded so unsure, I almost laughed.

"Of course!" And naturally I sounded all too eager.

"What's your stance on roller coasters?"

"I'm pro roller coasters, why?" The truth was, they frightened me a little. But having Edward with me seemed to eliminate all fears and doubts.

"Great. Because there's a Six Flags near here and they always go all out for their 'Fright Fest.' I thought it would be fun to go. I haven't been in years!"

--

Though Edward wanted us to spend the day alone at the amusement park, the rest of our gang somehow found out about our plans. So to our dismay we found ourselves smashed together inside Emmett's hummer. I was afraid Edward's scowl would be permanently etched on his face.

"Get over yourself Edward." Rosalie threw him a dirty look over her shoulder.

We had decided on just the one car due to expensive parking prices. But still, I was disappointed Edward and I couldn't share the car trip by ourselves. I wanted to try out my attempts at seducing him, but I guess that would have to wait til later.

"If they get too annoying, we'll just ditch them." I winked at Edward which caused his lips to twitch up into a faint smile. "So the city we're in, it's called Gurnee?" the name sounded oddly familiar.

"Ugh, Bella. It's pronounced Gur-_knee_ not _gurney_. You sound like Eddie in _Christmas Vacation_." Emmett shook his head disappointingly from the driver's seat.

"Oh yeah! I knew I'd heard it before." I laughed thinking about the movie and the fact I was in a place mentioned in it.

Pretty soon we had parked in the mammoth lot and were making our way to the entrance.

"Wow. This place is huge!"

I had never been to such a big amusement park. The excitement was starting to build, even if there were way too many people here.

"Oh, I thought you should know Bella," Jasper started, giving me a pointed look, "There are these really annoying people who work here. There sole job is to snap your picture and try to get you to buy it. Like I said, really annoying. It's best to just keep your eyes averted and walk as quickly as you can to pass them."

"Thanks Jasper, I'll keep that in mind."

After waiting in line for what felt like hours to get our tickets, we finally got inside. The entire park was decked out for Halloween. Tombstones littered the grassy patches along the concrete. Park workers were dressed up in 'scary' costumes, some of which would follow you around to frighten you. And Halloween music pumped from the speakers. It was pretty fun. Halloween was, after all, my favorite holiday.

Like Jasper had predicted, we had walked not even twenty feet before we were stopped by someone holding a camera. The girl asked us to stop to pose and most of our group looked like they didn't want to stop.

"Wait guys! I want a picture! I've never been here before and I want to remember it!"

After a few different poses, the girl handed us a card, telling me I could purchase the pictures at some building after an hour.

"So what ride first?" I turned to look at everyone and they all seemed to be deep in thought over my question.

"I think we should go on the Eagle first! It's practically an institution here." Emmett pointed to a big white, wooden coaster.

I heard the girls groan. I turned a questioning eye to them.

"It's pretty bouncy." Alice tried to sound nonchalant but I noticed her wince slightly.

We all walked to the line which eventually split into two.

"Let's race!" Emmett grabbed Rosalie's hand and pulled her one way. She giggled at his exuberance.

"Race?" I had no idea what he was talking about.

"Oh, this ride has two cars: red and blue. And when we were younger we'd split up and see which car came in first." Edward answered me, excitement flashing in his eyes.

"I predict…red will win." Alice took Jasper's hand and followed after Emmett and Rosalie.

"Well Bella, it looks like me and you on the blue." I started giggling madly. "What?"

"Oh god, you rhymed. You're a poet and you didn't even know it!" The fact that I said that lame line made me laugh even harder. Edward joined in as we ran through the line. We got through before the others did, but we let people pass us so that we'd board the blue one at the same time as the others boarded the red one.

"May the best man win!" Jasper yelled at us before we took off.

"Yeah, which means us, since we're the only _men_ here!" Emmett held his hand out to slap five with Jasper and started howling with laughter.

With that we shot off, rising higher and higher up the wooden hill. We reached the summit and Edward leaned over to whisper in my ear.

"Are you ready to go over the edge with me?" I couldn't help but shudder at his double meaning.

As soon as we descended, I realized what Alice meant by "bouncy." The old wooden coaster was incredibly bumpy. And the worst part was that it hurt my breasts, terribly. I winced at every twist and turn. It got so bad, that one of the arms I had raised over my head went down to hold them to my body. I should've worn a frickin sports bra. I knew I used to wear those for a reason. Damn Alice and her lacey, provocative, non supportive bras.

Edward turned and looked at me, a huge grin on his face. But when he saw the pain in my face he looked anxious. He noticed me holding my breasts tightly, then let a sexy smirk cover his face.

"Let me help you with that." He reached an arm over to replace mine, securely grasping my breasts, erasing any pain I had felt and replacing it with pleasure.

Just then a flash of light temporarily blinded me.

"What the hell was that?"

"The camera."

He didn't say another word after that, which annoyed me greatly. He just sat there with that stupid, sexy smug look on his face. I wanted to smack or kiss it off. Either way, something to rid him of that look.

Unfortunately for us, the red car won. Emmett was yelling out words of victory, doing his "Frank the Tank" again. I wasn't looking forward to all of the gloating that was sure to follow us all day long.

"We won! We won! In your face!" Ok, now I wanted to smack _him _instead.

"Ooh! Let's go check out our pictures!" Alice skipped over to the end of the line and I was pretty confused again. It seemed a common trend when I hung out with these people.

We neared a booth at the end that had several tv screens. As I approached the booth I finally put two and two together. The camera. The pictures. That camera on the ride took pictures that were on display here. There was a picture of Edward grabbing me for the whole park to see. No wonder he was so smug.

I broke out of my epiphany from Emmett's and Rosalie's whistling. I looked up and there we were. Me with a look of shocked pleasure on my face, which was turned to look at Edward's. Edward was looking back at me, with that self satisfied expression, arm and hand tightly gripping me.

"I'd like to buy two of those please." Edward pointed at the screen with our picture on it. He handed the money to the worker and waited patiently for his copies.

"Why are you buying those?!"

"I'd like to preserve the memory."

"You want to keep the memory of the first time you felt me up, which was on a roller coaster of all places? You're proud of that are you?" Edward's brow furrowed and his lips scrunched up for a moment before he shrugged.

"Yup." He smiled at me, grabbed his copies, then turned to leave.

"Seriously?" I could not believe him.

"Well, when I decide to 'feel you up' for real, I don't think we'll be in any position to take pictures…unless you're into that sort of thing." He saw my stunned expression and started chuckling.

Oh this boy was too good.

--

"Let's go on the Whizzer!" Edward got excited again and pointed to a line in front of another roller coaster.

"Edward! That ride is _so_ not exciting. There is no way I'm wasting my time on that dinky little ride." Alice stomped her little Prada foot at him. I laughed, thinking about _Legally Blonde _when the gay pool boy mentioned something about last season's Prada shoes to Elle.

It seemed that everyone agreed with Alice. And I noticed Edward looked disappointed. I couldn't let him look or feel that way, even if he had annoyed me earlier with his little camera thing.

"I'll go on it with you Edward." At my words, his whole face lit up.

"Cool!" He started walking towards the line, but before I could follow, Emmett grabbed my hand to hold me back.

"Heads up, ever since we were in middle school Edward has wanted to go on this ride with a girl. He's never gotten the chance to, until now. So he might be a little over excited, if you know what I mean."

I did not know what he meant. But I decided to politely smile and nod at him. I caught up to Edward who still had a huge smile plastered on his face. He took hold of my hand and led me 

through the crowd. When we got in sight of the car, I realized why Edward would want to go on this ride with a girl he liked, why any guy would like that.

The cars were situated so that the two passengers had to sit one in front of the other. I felt a plan formulating in my brain. Time for operation: seduce Edward Cullen.

With that same goofy smile, Edward got in the car, then held his hand out to help me in. I nestled in between his legs and felt his arms wrap around my middle. He pulled me in tighter, almost to the point where I was sitting on his lap.

"Are you ready for a great ride?" He kissed my neck. Oh, the innuendos keep on coming tonight. And I could feel that he was indeed over excited, like Emmett had mentioned.

The ride started and I felt a thrill in my lower stomach at what I was about to do. I could kill two birds with one stone: payback for Edward's little stunt and also practice for my seduction.

I slowly started to shift my lower half, on the pretense that I was readjusting to get comfortable. I felt Edward and little Eddie start to stiffen from my movements. When I didn't stop my movements, Edward's grip on me tightened.

"Bella, what are you doing?" His words were a hiss from his mouth.

"Just getting comfy." I smiled, though he couldn't see my face.

I allowed him some time to feel at ease again. But that false sense of security ended shortly. I began to grind into him more fervently and Edward's arms unwrapped from me, only to have his hands hold firmly to my hips. He was trying to still my movements but I was not having it.

"Let go Edward. Aren't you enjoying the _ride_?"

"A little too much actually." He almost sounded pained. I wondered if it was from the effort it took to stay in control of his body.

As I moved my pace faster and faster, his hands slid up higher towards my breasts again. And I could even feel him move ever so slightly with me. It was clear he liked what I was doing but was trying not to respond, trying not to encourage me. I was enjoying this friction between us. It felt really good, not as good as it would with no clothes to act as a barrier, but still…I had to resist the urge to moan, which Edward was now doing quite audibly and frequently. His hands just below my breasts began to tremble slightly.

"Bella…if you don't stop..I'll…I'll…" His throaty moan cut off his sentence.

"You'll what, Edward?" I turned to look at him over my shoulder, giving him an innocent smile.

"Fuck Bella, I'm gonna come." He let out a guttural sound and I felt him twitch beneath me.

I couldn't help the smug look on my face.

--

**EPOV**

That woman was maddeningly perfect. How could she have such a powerful effect on me? Her petite, hot body rubbing against mine was enough to send me over the edge. Granted, it had been weeks since I had…well, you know…since I had taken to not self gratifying myself and was not getting any from Bella (yet). Even still though, when I was young and still a virgin, no girl had even been able to make me come just by rubbing up against me. If she was that good with clothes on…ugh I had to stop that train of thought before I got excited again. As it was, I had to run to the bathroom to clean up my mess before meeting up with everyone else.

We walked away from the ride, my mind still in a post ejaculation daze, to find the rest of our group crowded around a game. Emmett had just made a basket, winning a stuffed animal for Rose. I noticed Alice held a similar animal.

"Wow! You guys can actually win at these crazy games?" Bella seemed genuinely impressed.

Well, if that kind of thing was impressive to her, I would just have to win one myself.

"Yeah, it's pretty easy when you're this good." Emmett held his fist in front of his face, blowing on his knuckles and then rubbing them against his chest. Cue eye roll.

"Would you like me to win a stuffed animal for you?" I gave her my most winning smile.

"Sure, after a ride like that I think I deserve a prize." I blushed red at her comment. No one else would understand, but it still made me slightly shy to think of what had just occurred.

"Is that Edward_ blushing_?!" Rosalie was in shock. And when everyone else turned to look at me, I noticed similar expressions.

"No…I'm just…I'm just kinda hot I guess." The man working the game handed me the ball and was tapping his foot at me, trying to get to me shoot.

"Sometime today please."

Still flustered, I took my shot and missed.

"Damnit." All I got in response was a round of laughter. Emmett was slapping his knee for god's sake. "Here." I slapped some more money down, waiting for another ball. But every time I was about to take a shot, someone asked a question as to why I looked so hot and bothered. And Bella was no help, shaking from laughter so intense it was silent. And every time I missed the basket. So I kept throwing money down, expecting the next shot to sink in. it never did.

"Wow. Edward I've never seen you so flustered. What exactly happened on that ride of yours?" He wiggled his eyebrows at me. "I think you've spent enough money to cover the price of a ticket! It's ok if you don't win her one. I can do it for you if you need me to."

"No damnit, I can do this!" I was beyond pissed at this point. I was trying to woo Bella, make her fall hard for me. And I couldn't do something as simple as make a ball go through a hoop.

"It's not important Edward." Bella whispered in my ear as she wrapped an arm around my waist. "You know I like you regardless of your game winning abilities." She raised up on her tiptoes to kiss me on my cheek. And just like that, the tension was gone. I shot and made it.

The worker shook his head and muttered "About fucking time" before handing Bella a rather ugly blue dog.

"What are you going to name him, Bella?" Alice asked her.

"Hm…I think I'll name him Whizzer, so I always remember this wonderful night." Her answer made me blush again.

"That's twice now. What the hell happened to you two?" Jasper looked at me, his eyes piercing mine. His gaze moved to the rest of my body. I don't know what he saw, but he suddenly smirked at me like he knew exactly what happened. He leaned over to speak to me quietly. "Your load a little lighter now?" He smirked again then walked away laughing loudly. I just hoped he wouldn't mention this to anyone else.

--

**BPOV**

"No! I'm not going in there! Edward tell them no!"

I was in hysterics. We were standing in front of a haunted house, a circus themed haunted house. That meant there would be clowns. And Edward knew how I felt about clowns.

"Bella, shh. It'll be ok. You'll just hold on to me. Ok?"

"No, I can't. I don't want to!" But no one was really listening to my pleading. Edward held my hand tightly and led me towards the haunted house.

"Don't worry; I'll be right next to you the entire time. It won't be that bad."

Oh but it was that bad. There were clowns everywhere. There was even one clown who had no legs, walking around on his hands. I screamed and literally jumped into Edward's arms.

"Holy shit! Get away from me!" I was screaming so loud my throat hurt.

Of course, once I'd given away just how terrified I was, the clowns took it upon themselves to follow me throughout the rest of the haunted house. By the end of the whole disaster I was in tears.

"Bella? Bella are you ok? Shit. You're really scared aren't you? I didn't realize how much clowns freaked you out. God, I'm sorry." His arms wrapped around me, and I buried my face in his chest. "Guys, I think Bella's had enough for one night."

No one argued with him, for which I was grateful. We had left the circus from hell and I was feeling slightly better. We had almost made it out of the park when I remembered the pictures we had taken when we first arrived. So I hurried over with Edward, who refused to leave my side much to my pleasure, to pick them up. Edward insisted on buying them all for me.

"I really need to do this for you Bella. My lack of judgment with the whole haunted circus is really getting to me. I should've known better. Please let me try and make up for it a little bit." When he put it that way…

When we got back to Evanston, I was still feeling a little shaky.

"Edward, can I please stay with you? I don't feel comfortable sleeping by myself tonight."

"Umm." Edward started, but then Emmett leaned over to him, whispering something. Edward's face brightened. "Sure. I'd love nothing more than to have you stay with me tonight." He pulled me into a hug and kissed me deeply. When he pulled away I let out a sigh of relief. "Emmett was just telling me that he'd stay with Rose tonight, so we'd be by ourselves."

"Good."

We settled into Edward's bed, myself tangling up in his body. I needed to be close, to feel something solid and real next to me, to keep my imagination from running away with thoughts of scary clown monsters.

"Sleep well love. No evil thing will harm you, ever. Because I will always be here to protect you.

I fell asleep mush more easily than I thought possible, because I believed Edward whole heartedly.

**Please don't kill me for making that first part a dream. I know some of you are dying for a lemon…which will come…I'm just not rushing it. Though you all (Bella included) are dying for it. So I thought I'd give you a little taste of what might be to come soon. Haha. But it was my first attempt so I don't know how it went. Reviews would be helpful, ya know, feedback on how you liked that little lemonade or whatever it's called (I seriously don't know fanfic lingo that well) oh and i hope you don't mind the pov shifts. i thought it went better that way (again reviews letting me know if i thought right are helpful)**

**I feel in necessary to share that a lot of what I wrote about in this chapter comes from real life (which is why this is coming to you at the end of the chapter, so you can skip it if you want). **

**The eagle does really make your boobs hurt, trust me. The whole using one arm to hold them down is something I had to do ever since I hit puberty and developed. It was still fun and I love it, just slightly painful**

**When my husband and I were dating, we went to a carnival (not the six flags mentioned, tho I did frequent there often when I was young) and we were with a group of people. All of the guys had won stuffed dogs (yes they were blue) for their dates and my husband could not make the damn basket (not for the same reason as Edward). He blew so much money trying to prove he could do it. I still have the dog, a tribute to his stubbornness. **

**And also, the guy with no legs dressed up as a clown…shudder…I went to a haunted house with just such a person. It was by far the creepiest thing I have ever witnessed. I was on a blind date (the guy thought he was all slick taking me to a scary place, forcing me to hold onto him. I don't scare easy, so I never touched him, that is until I saw that clown guy. Ugh, another shudder)**

**With that being said, please review. You know I love them so much. I love responding to them as much as I love reading them. You guys seriously are awesome and I can't thank you enough for the kind words!**


	18. Chapter 18

**a/n: can youall just assume by now that i'm not stephenie and only borrowing her characters for my own (and hopefully yours as well) entertainment? if iwere stephenie meyer, i would be writing midnight sun right now, so the poor fans could enjoy some good ol' vampy edward. **

**thanks go to mangogal, justm, pierce.me.through.with.sadness, notthesun, cheesy-brain10, B'n'E4life, iloveJasperWhitlock(i'm anxiously awaiting to hear back from you to learn more about your story), icefang7, muggleinlove (thanks for feeding my need of reviews, thus making whoring that much easier), A Rainbow In Grey Scale, distorted realities, jenuhlyn, iheartryan, shoutoutloud91, hamistasty, i'mwiththevampires08 (my heart goes out to you as you suffer in jury duty. you should just write more of your story while you sit there. i'm sure no one will mind. haha), MelissaTheTwilightFan, Miss.Megan, iheartlibros, stardust1989, sounds of music, crystal heart 2393, DarkMagic 10, laibballfan, Vampiregurl2286, Bri285536, psychodancechick89, TheGodsCanDance (thanks for rescinding your threat. ugh legless clowns), Angelgirl18647, star-chan89, vampygirl19, and xXShamrockXx. i hope i didn't forget anyone. if i did i'm sorry. it's due to the overwhelming amount of reviews i feel like i am getting. plus thanks as always to those who alert this story. you should really send me a review so i can thank you properly. heehee**

**i was amazed at how many of you (seriously a vast majority) are frightened by clowns. i blame my phobia on my brothers who decided it would be a good idea to make their 4 or 5 year old baby sister watch stephen king's it. ugh.. i think my fear of spiders stems from that movie as well, tho rewatching it only makes me wonder how anyone thought that was realistic. i digress. i lost count of how many reviews i got saying how the little haunted house part brought up bad memories. haha i'm sorry. hopefully this chapter erases all those bad memories and replaces them with good ones.**

**oh and thanks for those who encouraged my budding lemon writing skills. it's good to know that you like what i've got to offer for now. it'll only get better from here!**

* * *

"Bella, wake up." Edward's hand went to my hair and gently curled it around his fingers.

"Nuh uh." I buried my face into his chest, inhaling his heavenly scent. If only I could somehow bottle and market it as cologne, I would make millions.

"Yes. It's time for sleeping beauty to rise and shine."

At this point I was starting to experience a strong sense of déjà vu. Had I not just dreamt almost the exact same scenario the night before? Am I dreaming now? I discretely pinched my arm. I definitely felt the pain; so not dreaming then. Maybe if I played this out like my dream it would result in the same thing.

"If I'm sleeping beauty, then kiss me and wake me up properly." I smiled into his chest before pulling away, awaiting my wake up call.

"Your wish is my command beautiful."

Edward leaned down to kiss me. And the chaste kiss I had expected in my dream made its appearance. He pulled away before I even had a chance to deepen it. I let out a frustrated sigh.

"What's the matter."

"Nothing. I should probably go freshen up." I got up as quickly as possible in my damn walking cast.

I could feel traitor tears starting to snake their way down my cheeks, the feeling of rejection cutting me deep even though Edward hadn't actually done just that. Luckily I was behind the safety of the bathroom door before he could notice.

I looked up and caught my reflection in the mirror. What I saw just made my tears fall faster. Last night I had decided to take a chance and make the first move with Edward. My little sexual stunt on the Whizzer filled me with confidence. To think that I, Bella Swan, could do that to Edward Cullen. I had thought that after _that_, he'd want to, I don't know, repay the favor? And unfortunately for me, I had been scared shitless by those damn clowns. So I hadn't expected much last night. But this morning…I guess with my dream so fresh in my memory, I had hoped for more. But honestly, why would he want anything physical with me when he could have any girl he wanted? My hair was a bird's nest, my eyes comically big on my face, my skin too washed out. God, look at my pores! Have my lips always been so oddly shaped?

I tried taking deep, calming breaths as I sat down to pee. It was then that I noticed the crimson streaks in my underwear. Well, that would explain my rant. Leave it to my period to send me in a tizzy. I really should know better than to belittle myself. Edward clearly saw something in me. And Dan's words came back to me. "Any guy would be lucky to have Bella all to himself." Maybe I was a catch. It couldn't be coincidence that I kept attracting all these hot guys. Man, the sudden shift in my mood was a bit overwhelming.

"Bella? Are you almost done in there? I kinda gotta go."

Oops. How long have I been in here? I got lost in my thoughts again. I had to rush through my morning routine: brushing my teeth and scrubbing my face a little more vigorously than usual to destroy any evidence of my tears. After a quick comb through my hair with my fingers, I stepped out.

Edward ran in, not even bothering to shut the door behind him in his haste to relieve himself.

"Ahhh…"

I laughed as quietly as I could. I didn't want him turning around and seeing me digging around my purse. Where was it? I kept a spare here for emergencies. Finally! I found a tampon and hit it in my hand, turning around just as Edward had finished washing up.

"Sorry, that wasn't very proper. But I've had to pee since like 3 am. But you were holding onto me so tightly, I couldn't leave your side." He unleashed his bone melting crooked smile and I almost forgot my need to stopper myself up.

"If you'll excuse me." I stepped into the bathroom again. Before I shut the door, Edward asked,

"Why do you need to go in there again?" I just held the tampon out as my answer. Let him feel embarrassed at that.

Another realization hit me as I finished up in the bathroom. Operation: seduce Edward would have to be put on hold. My monthly friend couldn't have come at a worse time. Just as I was trying to push Edward's boundaries, it showed up, bringing everything to a screeching halt. Ugh. I guess I'll have to be patient for a bit longer.

--

"Bella, would you like to spend the day with me, and _only _me?" Edward asked me after we'd had the chance to shower and get dressed for the day.

"You know I would." Any time spent with Edward was time well spent.

"Excellent. I have the best idea!" he started rubbing his hands together, as if forming some evil plan.

"Should I be worried?"

"Nah, you just might want to dress warm." He said no more, just waited while I grabbed a jacket and scarf.

We stepped outside and it was indeed chilly. The air was crisp and clean and slightly numbed my exposed cheeks. Autumn was definitely upon us.

"C'mon, let's get you in my little Volvo." Edward gave me an exasperated look, as if beating me to the punch. I had taken to down sizing his car so often, he expected it.

"Edward, it is _not_ little. It's powerful and sleek." I kept my tone serious and gave him a stern look.

"Damn straight."

--

"We're spending the day in the city?" my head hurt from trying to take in all the sights around me.

"Yup. You haven't gotten much of a chance yet. So consider me your own personal tour guide." He took hold of my hand and pressed his lips to the back of it.

"Chicago, Cullen style? Sweet." I was really excited to see the city through the gorgeous, gleaming green eyes of Edward (nice alliteration, Bella).

"Welcome to the "Windy City," "The City of Big Shoulders," "Chi-town," home of the Cubs, the Bears, the Bulls, and unfortunately…the White Sox, Chicago!"

Edward's enthusiasm was contagious and I found myself grinning ear to ear.

"So what are we doing first?" my eyes darted around, trying to figure out what Edward had planned.

"I was thinking about a late lunch at one of my favorite Mexican restaurants. You do like Mexican, right?" I nodded my head vigorously because at the mention of lunch I found myself ravenously hungry. "Good, then first off is El Famous Burrito."

"El _Famous_ Burrito? Why isn't it El Burrito Famoso?" I had no idea why anyone would decide to leave just one word in English.

"Well look at you Miss Spanish speaker. Don't knock it til you try it. the food there is amazing. Seriously. They have burritos the size of footballs."

"Alright. C'mon el guapo, teach me the ways of the famous burrito."

I had a hard time deciding what to get. Everything sounded pretty good. After a minute I decided on the chicken tacos, something not expensive, since I was pretty sure Edward would try and pay for me. I was not about to let him spend more money than needed. When I placed my order I reached for my wallet and Edward stopped my hand.

"My treat Bella. It's all part of the Cullen Chicago Experience." I knew it.

I took a bit of the rice and beans first and nearly moaned in pleasure. It was that good.

"So, what do you think?" Edward was eyeing me warily.

"Mm. this is so good. I think I might've just had a mini orgasm in my mouth." I took a bit of the taco and this time I couldn't stop the moan. Edward's mouth fell open.

"God you're sexy. Do you even know how crazy you're making me? I never thought El Famous Burrito could be such a turn on for me." I laughed, pleased with myself and the power I had over Edward.

When I had finished my food, I had to fight the urge to pick up my plate and lick it clean. I wanted to enjoy every last morsel.

"Please tell me there's an El Famous in Evanston. Because if not, I'm in trouble."

"There's not, but this one isn't that far away to make trips to satisfy our cravings."

I wiped my hand across my forehead dramatically. That earned a hearty laugh from Edward.

"Good. Now all you have to do is supply it for me on a daily basis and I'll love you forever."

I saw Edward's eyes widen just barely and I then realized what I'd said. Oh god, I said the word love. What did edward's reaction mean? Maybe I should just pretend what I said was no big deal. That's how I had intended it anyway. No reason to draw attention to the fact I would declare eternal love for him, even if it was over Mexican food.

"And I thought the way to a heart was through a _man's _stomach!" Edward graced my ears with another laugh. "Still, I'll keep that in mind for later." Now what did _that _mean?!

My mind was still reeling from Edward's words when we stepped out onto the chilly Chicago streets.

"Now, what kind of tour guy would I be if we didn't pay a visit to the famous Sears Tower?"

We headed in that direction and I saw the gigantic skyscraper looming ahead. When we reached the sign out front, it dawned on me that I didn't have a camera to capture all these new memories I was creating.

As if on cue, Edward pulled a small digital camera from his pocket. The man thought of everything. He motioned for me to stand by the sing so he could take a picture. I felt a little weird standing by myself. I saw Edward stop a man on the street and ask him to take a picture of the two of us. Edward jogged over to me and wrapped his arms around me, pulling me into a kiss. The man snapped the picture. Then without warning, Edward swept me up and carried my 

bridal style. I was laughing hysterically when the man took another picture of the two of us. We both thanked the man and headed into the Sears Tower.

We had to wait in line for so long before finally getting to the elevator that would take us to the very top. The wait had been worth it. stepping to the edge to peer out at the city sprawled before us was a sight to behold. I had never seen anything quite like it.

"The view here is amazing, isn't it?" I asked while taking several pictures.

"Yes it is amazing. Quite beautiful too." I turned to look at Edward and found him staring intently at me.

I blushed deep red under his intense gaze. I tried to look away, but Edward's smooth hand stopped me. He cupped my chin with his hand then bent down to kiss me. His tongue traced the line of my mouth once, twice, before I parted my lips to let him deepen the kiss. It was a kiss with more passion than before, if such a thing was possible. And while it made me want every part of him, I was also content to just stand here and kiss him like that for..well for forever.

"Mommy, why is that man eating the woman's tongue?"

My eyes popped open as I hear a little boy's comment. I pulled away from Edward, very much red again, in time to see the boy's mother hurrying away from us.

"He was just giving her mouth to mouth resuscitation."

"What's mouth to mouth res…resus…thingy?"

Edward's laugh snapped me back to reality once the mother and son were quite a distance from us.

"God that's embarrassing." I brought up my hands to cover my face.

"Never ever try and hide that gorgeous face of yours from me. But maybe we should go now before we frighten away any more small children."

Edward took me to the Art Institute next to see the famous green lions. More pictures were taken as we tried to hoist ourselves up on them. We didn't actually go inside. Edward said a whole day needed to be set aside for that so we could devote all our attention to the works of art inside. This man was perfect. Musically gifted, intelligent, sexy as hell, amazing kisser, and appreciative of the arts? At this rate, who needed El Famous Burrito? I was bound to end up falling in love with him forever, right here, right now.

"How are you feeling, beautiful?" Edward looked down at my walking cast.

"A little tired actually." We had been walking to our destinations (Edward having parked his car to avoid the hectic Chicago traffic) and I was starting to get worn out.

"I thought you might be feeling that way." He took my hand, and as we rounded the corner, led me to a car I'd never seen before. It looked beyond expensive.

"What the hell is this?" I wasn't angry, just confused.

"An Aston Martin." He shrugged his shoulders then opened the back door for me.

"Don't I get to sit up front with you?" I pouted at him.

"Silly Bella, I'll be joining you in the back."

I didn't understand until I got in the car and noticed an unknown man at the wheel.

"Good day, Miss Swan." He nodded at me and Edward slid in.

"But…how…" I spluttered the words.

"Shh. Don't even worry that pretty little head of yours."

"Where to Mr. Cullen?"

"How about…Buckingham Fountain?"

The driver nodded again and we sped off. I was in awe of this man of mine. Just when I thought he couldn't get any better, he pulled a stunt like this and I was proven wrong.

We pulled up to a beautiful fountain, water arcing gracefully through the air.

"If only it were warmer, I'd go play in it!"

"Just when I thought I had you all figured out, you go and say that and take me completely by surprise!" he flashed a smile at me.

"What? There's something so childlike and care free about splashing around in water. You wouldn't do the same?"

"Not in the past, no. but now, I'm beginning to think there isn't a thing I wouldn't do if it involved you."

He turned his eyes on mine and I saw them blaze with raw emotion. Edward walked over to me and took both my hands in his. His fingers closed over my significantly smaller hands, wrapping them up and infusing them with warmth.

"Bella." His voice was barely above a whisper. "I…"

But he was cut off by the sound of squealing tires.

"Get off the road, ya jackass!" some taxi driver was yelling after a car. I turned to Edward ad saw him shake his head slightly as if trying to clear his thoughts.

"What were you saying?"

"I was saying, I think we should go to our next stop on the tour."

We spent the next few hours driving all over Chicago. We visited the Loop and saw the different sculptures by Miro, Chagall, Calder, and Picasso. Pictures were taken at every one. Next we went to the Newberry Library where I stood in awe of their collection. Edward knew me all too well, taking me to a library where I could marvel at all the books I longed to read. I stood under the sign at the Chicago Theater so Edward could snap another picture. I knew I'd be making a copy for Renee. I stood on the Michigan Avenue bridge with Edward, looking out at all the buildings set against the backdrop of the lake. Edward asked if I wanted to take a stroll along the Magnificent Mile since it had amazing shopping.

"Who do I look like, Alice?"

"God I hope not, otherwise I have serious issues!"

"Let's just not mention to Alice that I passed on the shopping 'opportunity' or she'll be dragging me over here next chance she gets."

"My lips are sealed." He even locked his lips up with an imaginary key that he tossed over his shoulder. I was in a fit of giggles over this playful Edward. It was fun to let loose around each other. "Now…the very important and ever popular…Wrigley Field!"

I'd never been a huge baseball fan, but Charlie had instilled a love for the Cubs, despite the curse that loomed over them. So I was genuinely excited to visit Wrigley Field. I even let Edward buy me a Cubs hat and jersey.

"You'll need them if you're going to be living here for awhile. You will be a cubs fan, right? Because if you decide to go for the Sox, I don't think we can see each other anymore." He tried to look serious but I could see the slight twitch in his lips.

"Of course I'm a cubs fan!" I put the hat on and Edward snapped a quick picture. "I'd love to go see a game sometime"

"I'll take you sometime. Obviously the first time we'll have to sit in the stadium, for the full effect and whatnot. But then, we absolutely have to get some roof top tickets. Carlisle will be able to get some for us."

"Roof top tickets?"

"Oh yeah, it's so much fun. You can enjoy yourself at the bar or go sit on the roof to watch. You'll love it!" he smiled at me and again his good mood permeated mine. Then my stomach grumbled.

"C'mon beautiful, let's get that sexy little tummy full of goodness." He rubbed my stomach playfully.

"What kind of goodness?"

"Ever heard of Lou Malnati's?" I shook no. "Best Chicago style deep dish pizza, ever!"

We got in the car, and the driver whose name I think was Tyler, headed off in that direction. The restaurant was pretty crowded, but when we reached the hostess, Edward told her about a reservation for two under Cullen.

"Right this way sir."

The bleached out blonde swayed her hips as she walked in front of us, looking back every once in awhile to stare at Edward. I couldn't help the angry scowl on my face. Who did this little skank think she was, staring at _my _boyfriend? We were passing a pretty crowded section and the girl decided to look back again. I noticed a server walk towards her, not looking either as he talked to some people at a nearby table. _I really should warn her…_ I thought about it but just couldn't bring myself to do it. Seconds before impact, the girl turned to face front and just barely swerved out of the way; but not before running into a man sitting at his table with a beer in hand.

"Damnit! What the hell?!" The guy stood up angrily, trying to stop the beer from going everywhere on him.

"Guess you're not the only clumsy one here tonight, huh?" Edward nudged me a little bit.

"She's only clumsy because she couldn't keep from staring back at you." I couldn't help the bitter tone from seeping out.

"Really? Hmm, didn't notice." Well that, coupled with our hostess making a fool of herself, helped me feel better.

The pizza at Lou Malnati's did not disappoint. I'd never had pizza like that before; the kind where you _have _to use a knife and fork to eat it.

"Wow." It was hard to talk with all the food shoved in my mouth.

"Would you say it's _orgasmic_?" Edward was egging me on, trying to see if I'd have a reaction similar to the one at El Famous.

"Hell yes." Edward's eyes sparkled.

After I had eaten so much I wanted to unbutton the top of my jeans, we decided to go. Edward told me he had one last surprise for me, something no one should miss when visiting Chicago.

"What is this place?" I gasped, looking at all the different lights and sounds surrounding me.

"Navy Pier!"

I had heard of it, but never seen it before. I was so excited to be here, with Edward of all people. I couldn't help but think Edward was trying really hard to impress me. Honestly, it was working. Everything Edward did today just made my feelings for him intensify. The atmosphere was one that helped create magic. And I was definitely starting to view my relationship with Edward as such: magic all the way.

We walked along the pier and decided to go on the old fashioned carousel. I hadn't been on one since I was young. Edward helped me up on a horse then climbed on after me.

"I don't think you're supposed to ride it with me."

"I don't care. I'm riding with you Bella…unless you tell me to leave."

"Never." I responded with a little too much ferver.

"Good." Edward brushed my hair to one side and kissed me slowly on the side of my neck. The feeling gave me goosebumps.

"I think you need to stop. There are a lot of innocent children on this ride. We don't want a repeat of sky deck at the Sears Tower, do we?"

After a turn on the carousel, we made our way to the swings. I was having so much fun trying to reach out for Edward as we swung round and round. He tried to reach back and grab my legs to link us together, which resulted in some yelling from the person working the ride. All we could do is laugh at our "rebellious" side.

Once the swings stopped, Edward dragged me after him.

"I've saved the best for last, beautiful." We were approaching a huge, magnificent Ferris wheel.

"Yay!" I began clapping and couldn't resist the thought that I must look a lot like Alice right now.

We waited in the line and as the attendant held up the harness for us, Edward put his hand out to help me in.

"After you, Bella."

We got situated in the car, me snuggling into Edward's side and him wrapping his arms around me. As we started going up, I caught a beautiful view of the city, lit up in the night sky. Chicago was fast becoming my favorite city, and I couldn't keep myself from envisioning a life spent with Edward here. _Don't get carried away Bella. You haven't been dating that long. You two haven't even said 'I love you' yet. _I hadn't realized I had sighed until Edward spoke.

"What are you thinking Bella?" I could see the longing in his eyes.

"Just thinking how perfect it is being here with you." I was thinking that…only slightly modified. But he didn't need to know where else my thoughts were taking me.

"I couldn't agree more. This day has been unbelievable Bella. Thank you for letting me take you around Chicago."

He leaned over and kissed me. I wasn't worried about any children watching us this time. So I did not hesitate when Edward licked my bottom lip. My mouth opened in a soft moan. Our tongues began to twist together in a maddening frenzy. My hands flew to that fabulous mess of bronze hair, pulling and tugging at it.

"Bella…" He groaned out my name, panting slightly as he broke away to breathe.

Even though I knew nothing could happen due to our current location and my stupid period, I cursed the bar that was keeping us from moving too much. I desperately wanted to climb onto Edward's lap and rub up against his, what I was sure to be, very hard erection.

"Bella." Edward repeated my name, pulling back slightly to look at me. "You are so beautiful. I am the luckiest man on earth. I don't know how nobody snatched you and kept you all to himself, but I'm so happy no one did. Now I have you all to myself."

"Edward, you're dazzling me." I was breathless at his words.

"Good. That was exactly my intention. I was wondering though, could you be dazzled anymore?" He leaned in to resume the kiss. As our car reached to top of the Ferris wheel, fireworks broke out in the night sky. The timing was impeccable.

"Edward! Look at the fireworks!"

I was pointing and giggling like a schoolgirl. How much more romantic could the night get? Edward, I had decided, was indeed perfect. He said he was lucky, but I was the luckiest. He said he couldn't imagine how I wasn't taken, but really, how was _he_ not taken? I had never been happier in my life. The word love kept creeping into my mind, curling around, as if with tentacles, attaching to every part of my body. _No, it can't be, not yet. It's too soon. People don't fall in love this fast._ _Take it slow, Bella. Keep it cool. Make sure it's real. Make sure he feels it too. _I was beginning to believe that I was indeed in love with Edward. But I could not bring myself to say it first. I had to know if he felt it too, otherwise..well otherwise I was afraid we'd end up like me and Laurent.

"You still with me love?" the word love dragged me out of my reverie. I was thinking so hard about it, that naturally it made me come back to the here and now. There was that word; Edward had called me love a few times now. But it was probably just more a term of endearment than anything. I doubted it could be a show of his true affections.

"C'mon Bella, we gotta get off now, the rides over."

Tyler drove us back to Edward's Volvo and by the time we got back on the tollway, I felt my lids get heavy with sleep. It had been a long day, both physically and mentally. So it was no wonder I was asleep within minutes.

--

"Hey Bella, how was the rest of your weekend?" Dan came and sat next to me in lecture on Monday. I wondered briefly if I should tell him to find another seat since Edward didn't like him.

But then I realized Dan was a well of knowledge to Edward's past.

"It was a lot of fun. I went to Six Flags on Saturday and Sunday I spent the day in Chicago with Edward." Dan frowned at me.

"So I take it things are still going well in the love department?" I just rolled my eyes at him.

"Yes Dan, everything is just lovely." He let out a soft "whatever" my way. "Hey, don't make me regret going against Edward's wishes by sitting with you. I could get up and leave, ya know?" I knew I'd get a reaction out of that.

"Edward didn't want you to sit with me during class?" He smiled like the cat caught with the canary in its mouth. "Afraid of a little competition is he?"

"Well, not exactly 'competition.' He doesn't think very highly of you, says you're not the best guy when it comes to women." Take the bait Dan.

"_I'm _not the best guy when it comes to women? What about _him_?" I could tell he took the bait. His face was slightly redder from anger pulsing under his skin. "Do you even have any idea what that guy was like before you?"

"No. why? What was he like?"

"Well, you may see him as all gentlemanly and shit, but that guy was a regular player. Every time I saw him he had another girl on his arm. When we went out, we'd have contests to see how many girls we could hook up with by the end of the night. I swear, I'm surprised he's not banned from some clubs the things he did with girls in there."

"What do you mean?" Maybe I didn't want to know what Edward was like before we dated.

"C'mon Bella. Think about it. Edward is a very focused student, there's no doubt about it. But he is a man. And with all the stress he felt from studying, he had to find some release. And he found it, in the many willing women he met around campus. As long as she was attractive and willing, he would comply. Some nights he'd finish up with one just to go meet up with another. The guy's a machine. He was my idol. " I think he noticed how green I was becoming. "But, he's obviously not like that anymore…I mean, he spends all his free time with you, right? I haven't seen him at any of our old haunts in weeks." That didn't help much. "You know, I've changed too. I think I could be a one woman man, if it was the right woman." He placed a hand on my thigh.

"Don't." I hissed the words, then got up and left right in the middle of lecture.

--

I found myself outside an apartment I had never even visited. I knocked quickly on the door, praying the tenant was there.

"Bella?" the voice sounded shocked for sure. I was just as shocked to be there.

* * *

**So a bit of a cliffie for you. dun, dun, dun! (that's my written form of evil music in case you were wondering.) if you'd like to guess who bella's visiting, send me a review. i will even tell you if you are right or not. so if you're curious...the only way to quench that thirst is to review. do it, you know you wanna. or you could just review to tell me what youthink. i would love to know what you guys thought of their day in chicago. love it, hate it, indifferent, ideas for the future? (tho if your idea is that they should get it on and in a hurry...already noted. but not like it could happen for awhile at least due to bella's monthly friend)**

**oh and by the way, el famous burrito is in fact _that _good. i miss it so much. and writing about it had my mouth watering. mmm...if you are ever in the chicagoland area, get some. then imagine you are eating it with edward, who is offering it to you in exchange for your eternal love (i think it is a fair trade).**


	19. Chapter 19

**a/n: not stephenie meyer.**

**K, sorry but I have to forgo thanking all of you who reviewed for last chapter bc I'm in a super rush to get this out. it's freakin almost 2 here and I need some sleep. But I **_**had **_**to get this out. just had. **

**I just need to take the time to give kudos to: iloveJasperWhitlock, clockkeeper13, and Mdots for guessing who Bella went to see correctly. I was surprised to see a lot of you said Laurent. He's still in Arizona people. But will he make an appearance in the story later? Hmmm..we shall see.**

**Oh and I wanted to let you guys know that my friend I'mwiththevampires08 has a new story out, Bittersweet Symphony that is looking good. You should go show her some love. **

**Oh and one last word: i didn't have time to look over this well, so I hope you don't mind any spelling or grammar problems. So sorry! You know most of the time I'm anal about it. But like I said, I'm rushed rushed rushed!**

* * *

"Bella, what are you doing here?" I was staring at a very flushed, half naked Rosalie. She stood in a thin silk robe, barely closed around her. She must've answered in a hurry, not bothering or able to fully cover up.

"I needed to talk to someone, to you." I was fighting back the tears.

"_Sky rocket in flight, afternoon delight! _Rosie, who was at the door? Come back in here so I can start fu…" Emmett walked out in the open, completely nude, and stopped mid sentence once me saw me, thankfully.

"Oh my god Emmett! My eyes! Please, put something on and cover up little Emmie!" the sight of Emmett completely bare actually wasn't unpleasant. He was very well endowed. But it felt wrong to Rosalie and Edward to be seeing him. Though why I would feel bad for seeing another guy naked when Edward has…

"Hey!" Emmett stood there, still naked, with his hands placed angrily on his hips, not a care in the world that I could see every last bit of his manhood. "I am anything _but_ little!" he did a little pelvic thrust in my direction and I had to close my eyes to try and rid myself of the image. "And how _dare_ you nickname it Emmie. That's a chick's name!"

"Em, just get the hell back in the bedroom. _Little Emmie _will have to be patient and wait a while longer." Rosalie shouted at him, pointing towards her bedroom to emphasize the need of his departure.

"Rosie! You too? It's not little." I almost smiled at his words, words that so reminded me of Edward and his stupid, shiny Volvo.

"Now, please!" Emmett turned and left the room, sulking the entire time.

"Rose, I'm sorry. I didn't realize I was interrupting…"

"It's ok. Now, you said you needed to talk to someone. Can I ask why you chose me and not Alice?"

"Oh, I'm sorry. I won't bother you." I started to get up to leave but Rosalie put a gentle hand on my shoulder.

"Bella, that's not what I meant. It's just you always seemed to be so close to her." She sounded kind of sad. "I'm really glad you came to talk to me. I want us to be close to, ya know?"

"Yeah, I want that too." I smiled at her so she'd know I meant what I said.

"So? What's all this about?"

Now that I was here, I didn't know how to start. The fact that Edward's brother was here, separated by a few thin walls didn't help either. I didn't want Emmett knowing what was wrong. What if he told Edward? What if he told me more things I didn't want to hear? I'm sure he knew all about Edward's sexual conquests, what with being his brother and all. Brothers talk about that stuff, don't they?

"Well, it's about Edward." I saw realization flicker in Rosalie's eyes. Of course I didn't want to talk to Alice about her brother. She could see that. "See, there's this guy Dan in my anatomy class who used to hang around with Edward, and…"

"Dan? Dan Anderson?" the look of disgust was clear on her flawless face. Even with the unpleasant look there, she was still drop dead gorgeous.

"yeah, well see, I ran into him at the Hundo Friday night. And he saw me with Edward."

I told her the story: how shocked Dan had sounded when Edward had called himself my boyfriend, the implications of Edward's past, and how Edward had warned me to stay away from Dan. Throughout the entire thing, Rosalie nodded in agreement, as if she already knew it all. I stopped to gather my thoughts, but Rosalie mistook it as the end of my story.

"I don't understand what's got you so freaked out."

"There's more. Today in my anatomy class, Dan came and sat down by me. I was curious as to what _exactly_ Edward had been like." Rosalie gave me the 'uh oh' look as I continued. "Is that really how Edward was before I met him? Did he just use girls and throw them away? I mean, I knew he 'got around' but I didn't think…I mean…what does that say about him? About us?" I was on the verge of hyperventilating.

"Bella, I need you to calm down, ok?" she waited while I tried to swallow as much air as I could. When she saw that I had relaxed a bit, she took a deep breath and fixed her eyes on mine. "Yes, Edward was…like that for the most part. But what you have to understand is that he didn't really "use" any of the girls he was with. Because they sought him out too, for exactly the same purpose. And when he approached them, he always made his intentions clear. Every girl was ok with that because they just wanted him physically. The problems would start afterwards. Edward has always been a gentleman. And as such, treated the girls with way more respect than they deserved. Once they saw that side of him, they tried to rope him into relationships. Situations like that just made it easier for Edward to distance himself from any form of commitment."

"But how? I just don't get how he could just go from girl to girl, sometimes in the same night!"

"It's not that hard to understand really, if you think about it." I stared at Rosalie, dumbfounded. She sighed and I saw the hint of tears in her eyes. "I was a lot like Edward before Em and I got together. I knew men were attracted to me and I used that to my advantage. I think after my parents died I tried to keep myself from getting too close to anyone, so I wouldn't ever have the chance to be hurt with loss again. In high school I went from guy to guy. As soon as they showed signs of wanting more, I bailed."

"So how did you and Emmett get together?"

I was amazed to learn all this about Rosalie. I knew her parents had passed away shortly after moving from Texas, but I never knew the effect it had on the Hale twins, especially Rose. I had just assumed her and Em had gotten together immediately; love at first sight, sorta like Alice and Jasper. I couldn't believe I was wrong. And I couldn't believe I hadn't taken the time to learn more about them.

"Lord knows Em didn't try to get us together." She laughed lightly. "The minute I saw him I knew he'd be trouble. Just in looks, he was exactly my type. And so I never even gave him a chance. If I did, I was afraid my carefully constructed façade would crumble. Only after he _literally _dragged me on a date at the end of senior year did I let go of my fears."

I couldn't help but draw some parallels to my life. The whole "player" thing was obviously not one of them. But the fear. I was so afraid of rejection that I was doubting my feelings. And I was afraid of rejection so much that I found it easy to dismiss Edward's as well.

"Bella, I don't think you understand just how much Edward has changed since meeting you. I could hardly stand to be in the same room as they boy. But now…he's bearable. You shouldn't let the fact that he was acting like an idiot before he met you ruin what could be. Can you really fault him for the past? I think the only thing that should matter is the future. You may be wary concerning how real his change of heart is, but I don't doubt it. Everyone can see it written on his face. He's definitely different, an excellent kind of different."

Just listening to Rosalie made me realize that I knew this already. I really shouldn't judge him for anything. I just needed to trust him. And so far, he hadn't done anything to make me not trust him.

"You're right. I just…I dunno. Maybe it's my damn hormones out of whack – like a serious case of PMS or something – causing me to overreact. Edward has been nothing but a perfect gentleman to me. We haven't even had sex yet…"

I cut myself off. With getting over my fear of Edward's past, a new (and maybe more truthful) cause for concern showed up. My words echoed back to me with perfect clarity. _We haven't even had sex yet. _My eyes overflowed with tears.

"Bella? What's wrong?" Rosalie shifted closer to me, confused and concerned at my sudden turn for the worst.

I just shook my head, unable to speak due to my throat suddenly closing up. And unfortunately, Emmett chose that moment to emerge from the back of the apartment. The only lucky thing was he was now at least wearing pants.

"Are you guys almost done having your Oprah moment? I'm hungry…" Emmett stopped dead in his tracks. "Bella? What happened?" He rushed to my side in a flash. Even as emotional as I was, I still found the time to be amazed at how agile this hulking man could be. "Who was it? It was Edward, wasn't it? I'm gonna kick the shit out of him. That fucking asshole!"

"Emmett…Emmett!...EMMETT!" I had been calling his name, but his ranting was so loud he couldn't hear me. My scream finally broke through and he stopped, one hand balled into a fist about to punch his other hand in a menacing gesture. "Edward didn't do anything, ok?" He eyed me suspiciously.

"Ok…If you're sure…I'll just go back to the bedroom." He pivoted on his heels to leave again. "But Bella," he stopped and turned to fully address me, "If he ever hurts you, I'll gladly kick his ass. He may be my brother, but you're practically sister to me, and as such, need my protection." I felt a stream running from my eyes at his words. He walked away, completely oblivious to how deeply touched I was.

"It's true ya know? He does see you like another sister." Rosalie hugged me tightly. "So do I. which is why I'm so concerned again. What were you thinking now that had you so upset?"

"Rose, we haven't even had sex yet!" She tilted her head to the side, as if saying 'so what?'. "Don't you see?! He was so willing to have sex with any pretty face that offered it up to him. But with me, he won't. I bet I'm not even half as pretty as the girls he slept with. And I'm probably not even that good. I've only ever been with one guy, and he finished so quick that it's not like I had a lot of time to 'practice.' I bet he doesn't want to have sex with some stupid, little, inexperienced girl."

"Bella, didn't you hear me last time we talked about this? It's _good_ that you two are waiting. I know I'm one to talk, but sex shouldn't be rushed into, especially when both of you are kinda messed up from the past. Edward has been going about things so wrong lately. All he wants is to do right by you. It'll happen. Just appreciate how much he cares for you by waiting. You know it's literally paining him to not have sex."

As much as I wanted to listen and feel what Rosalie said, my heart still hurt. If he cared for me so much, why couldn't he show it through physical intimacy? This was Edward, practically a sex god, and he wasn't going to even _try_ to seduce me? I still felt like something must be wrong with me, otherwise Edward would be breaking down my door just to get in my pants. I may be thinking all this, but I didn't want Rosalie to know that. She'd just keep me here longer, beating me with her words of encouragement. I couldn't really hear it anymore. It all sounded like lies.

"Of course you're right again Rose. I am being stupid, aren't I?" I gave her a weak smile, which probably looked more like a grimace. But before she could respond I intervened. "Maybe you should go check on Em now. Who knows what kind of trouble he is getting into by himself."

"Yeah…maybe you're right." She glanced over to the hallway towards her bedroom. "Last time I left him alone, I came back to find him wearing one of my night gowns." I was beyond disturbed at this point and needed to get out fast.

"And with that, I'm leaving. That is something I _definitely _do not want to see. Thanks again Rose."

Lucky Emmett's strange cross dressing habits distracted Rose from my more than obvious lie. I figured I'd fake it til I made it. I'd prove to Edward that I was something to be desired, even if I had to tie him down myself. I figured Halloween would be the perfect time for it, with the party and me dressing up like a whore basically. And if he rejected me then, well, then I knew what his true feelings were. I would be right after all.

--

The week passed by relatively quickly, with nothing eventful happening. I never told Edward what I had learned from Dan and Rosalie. And luckily Rosalie and Emmett kept their mouths shut about my little break down on Monday. It was pretty surprising that Emmett had managed to keep it a secret, seeing as how he never shut up about anything. Rosalie must have threatened celibacy if he leaked out what happened.

Edward's and I interactions got pretty heated. We'd get together to study and invariably end up making out. Though I was on my period still, so I never pushed things further. Neither did Edward, which in my mind, was just proof of what I already assumed.

I hated to admit it, but the lack of anything physical other than kissing did make room for finding out more about each other. It seemed like God had created Edward with me specifically in mind. how could two people have so much in common? We were even known to finish each other's sentences, a fact that greatly annoyed our friends. I could not even begin to understand how Alice could get annoyed though. She and Jasper didn't even need to voice words in order to communicate. They could just stare at each other and hold conversations so seemingly private that you'd feel like an eavesdropper just standing in the same room as them.

Finally, the day I had been both anticipating and dreading at the same time arrived. It was lucky that Halloween fell on a Friday, so everyone could get as shit faced as they wanted to without having to suffer through a day of classes. Alice had worked herself up into a frenzy, trying to convince me to skip my anatomy lab so we'd have enough time to get ready for the party.

"Alice, I get done at 3. The party doesn't even start til 9:30. What could you possibly need 6 ½ hours for?"

"Bella! We need all that time for primping. I'm skipping my lab to get the house ready. But shh, don't tell Edward or he'll blow a gasket. The 6 ½ hours is for us. Don't you want to look sexcellent for Edward tonight?!" She winked at me.

"Um…right. So, I'll just go straight to your place from campus. You'll have everything already there right? Because if you leave it up to me, I'll forget."

"Duh. Of course I will. I'll be prepared, don't you worry."

Class passed in a blur. I was starting to get nervous for tonight. I don't know how prepared I was to wear the costume Alice and Rose had picked out. I don't know how I was going to move in it without flashing everyone my wobbly bits, a term I had taken to using since watching Bridget Jones. I was also anxious to see how Edward would react to my costume. Would he like it? Maybe if I pulled it off well, I wouldn't need to seduce him; he'd just jump me right then and there…I was praying for that. I don't know how well I'd mastered the art of seduction. I knew he was good at it, so I just needed to get the ball rolling hopefully. Thankfully my monthly friend had left so I didn't have to worry about that at least.

I pulled up in the Cullen's drive way. Alice came running out, my loud engine probably having alerted her to my presence, and waved me down to the garage.

"Just park in there for the night!"

As I pulled in, I noticed a myriad of cars, including the Aston Martin Edward and I had rode around in through the city. His family _owned _that car? I had done research on it when I got home. That car cost a fortune. Holy shit. How much money could one family have?

I was still in a daze as I walked in the back door and up to Alice's room. I normally wouldn't have felt so comfortable with just entering the unfamiliar house, but I knew that her parents weren't home. That made things slightly less awkward for me.

"Hurry up Bella, we don't have all night ya know!" I heard her yelling from her en suite bathroom.

I made my way to where she was and gasped at the sight in front of me. I thought I had seen all her make up at our place. But I was obviously wrong. Here in front of me, spread out like some delicious buffet, were more beauty product than I ever conceived as being possible. Blushes and lipsticks and eye shadow, not to mention gels and mousses, then there were brushes and combs, curlers and flat irons, sprays and perfumes….I bet the money she spent on all this could feed a small country for a year. And to think, there were starving children out there. But I shook the thought away, it wasn't her fault that her family was very, very well off.

"Alright, let's get you stripped, cleaned and polished for tonight!" I didn't like the eager tone in her voice.

--

Alice had used up almost the entire 6 ½ hours getting us ready, well, mostly me ready. I'd felt like I was in _Miss Congeniality _and any second a swarm of troops would come barging in, ready to tackle their project.

I had asked where Edward was, to which Alice replied that he was getting ready at his apartment so he wouldn't ruin the surprise of his costume. She gave me that all too familiar wicked smile and I was left scared. Whenever Alice was scheming, I had to prepare for the unexpected.

Finally, Alice put the finishing touches on me, adding a coat of gloss to my peachy lips.

"Edward is not allowed to kiss those, for at least a while, ok? I don't want him ruining my masterpiece."

"Ok, Da Vinci." I rolled my eyes at her.

"Well don't just sit there, let's go! We'll be meeting everyone in the foyer." She held out her hand for me, to help me up.

I needed all the help I could get. Alice had fitted a death trap at the end of my one good leg. I wore a black leather Burberry bootie. It had a black buckle on it, adorned with studs. It was an amazing shoe…but it was also 4 total inches of my inevitable demise. How was I expected to walk with one foot in a shoe like this and the other stored in the ugly walking cast. I would be lopsided as I walked, not something especially helpful to someone who can't even walk on a flat surface under the best circumstances.

Somehow I made it down the twisting, spiral staircase of doom without much incident. Alice was freakishly strong and able to hold me upright. The boys and Rosalie must've heard me clumping down the stairs (Alice walked so gracefully you'd think I was by myself), because as we reached the bottom there they stood, waiting for us.

I stopped, in awe of the jaw droppingly gorgeous man in front of me.

There he stood, my perfect Clyde, with a perfectly altered black pinstripe suite, tailored to fit and define every kissable muscle of his well toned body. He wore a matching black fedora, tilted down to one side, ever so slightly covering his right eye. The other green orb shone brightly at me, catching the light from the over hanging chandelier, and practically glimmering like the emerald it so resembled. In his left hand he held a toy tommy gun, raised up to sling over his shoulder. His mouth was curved up at one side, forming that irresistible crooked smile that made me weak in the knees. Clearly, Alice had her hand in this, just like everything else. No doubt she told Edward to dress up like Clyde so we'd match. Together we were the perfect gangster pair.

"I…I…I" I was clearly speechless.

"Well hello to you too, beautiful."

--

EPOV

There she stood, the hottest motherfucking Bonnie I'd ever seen. I shifted uncomfortably at the sight of this sinfully gorgeous woman. I didn't think I'd be able to leave her alone all night, not looking like _that _anyway.

Her dress, if you could even call it that, was black and pinstriped, same as mine. However, hers barely came down to cover that sexy little ass of hers. I wondered if she was wearing any panties underneath. If she was, definitely a thong was in order, because the dress was so tight, it clung to every delicious curve. To make matters worse, the dress zipped up the entire length of it, stopping just at the valley between those beautiful breasts of hers. The white collar surrounding her neck and chest just brought my eye to the plentiful cleavage the dress provided. Now there was no way she could be wearing a bra with a dress like that. It was too low cut, but so tight against her, it made her soft swells push together. Luckily she wore a short tie that sort of covered her up, because otherwise I would've sunk my face in right there and drowned in her heavenly tits.

I don't know how I managed to form a coherent sentence. Good thing I spoke before I took in her face. Staring at me was the face of Aphrodite herself. Bella was donning makeup to match the unlawfully attractive costume. I noticed the smoky eye, courtesy of Alice no doubt, and the shimmering soft lips that I wanted to suck on all night.

Her expression, one of surprise I assumed since her mouth was formed into a rather large "o," left me imagining how her lips would feel wrapped around my dick. God if I didn't stop this train of thought I wouldn't make it past tonight. But maybe I didn't want to. Maybe tonight I could finally express my love for the drop dead gorgeous woman in front of me. Lord knows she was my undoing already.

"Ahem!" Jasper cleared his throat loudly, effectively cutting off my fantasizing, which I'm pretty sure was the point. "Why don't we get ready to greet all our guests?"

We stood in the foyer, not having to wait long as the bell pealed through the air, announcing the first of our friends. Emmett opened the door to lead the group in and Alice and Jasper led them to the basement, where most everything was set up. It was after all, the perfect place for a party, what with the well stocked bar and sound system to rival any club in the area. Emmett made to close the door again, but another group came pushing through.

"Why don't I just leave this open."

Throngs of people crowded into our house, more than we'd ever had before. The basement filled with people and pretty soon, there were many masked men and women milling around the main floor. Alice, as usual, had foreseen this happening and cleared the way of anything valuable and/or fragile. There was another make shift bar in the kitchen to satisfy all the partiers looking for free beer.

"How about you and I go downstairs and dance?" I held out my hand, awaiting the feel of the warm skin of hers. I had been waiting all day to dance with Bella, remembering how we were at the club. If we danced like that then, imagine how we'd be tonight, now that we were dating.

"I don't know if that's such a good idea." She pointed down to her left foot, encased in that damn walking cast. I couldn't wait for that thing to go. Then I wouldn't feel the need to be quite so careful around her.

"It'll be ok, love." She scrunched up her eyebrows at me as if in deep thought. "I'll make sure no one comes near it. Besides, that's not the part of your body I want or need moving that much anyway." She blushed, something I could not get enough of, and took my hand.

I lead her down the stairs and to a relatively less crowded part of the basement. I could see Alice and Jasper dancing close together. I quickly turned away, not wishing to see my sister doing anything provocative. I scanned the floor for Emmett and Rosalie but couldn't find them anywhere. I wouldn't doubt they'd already gone up to his room. I saw the way he was looking at her the moment he saw the costume. I wondered briefly if the costume was even still in one piece. He probably ripped it off in his haste. Not that I would blame him. If Bella and I had been alone upon seeing her like that, her dress would be ripped to shreds too…

A fast hip hop song came pumping through the speakers and I felt Bella sidle up against my body. Every inch of her delicious body was pressed so hard against me I could hardly keep my raging erection a secret.

"Mmm." That noise coming from her mouth had such a powerful effect on me. I found myself grinding into her as hard as I could, not getting as much friction as I wanted. These damn clothes were in the way. As the song continued, I felt myself losing more and more control, gripping her waist tightly, practically pounding myself into her sweet ass. Then I remembered how she'd made me let go on the Whizzer at Great America. I couldn't let that happen now, that would be beyond embarrassing. So when the song ended, I pulled away. I heard her whimper at the loss of contact and I couldn't help the smug smile on my face, knowing I had an effect on her too.

"I think I'll get us some drinks, ok?" I led her over to a chair and went up to the bar to fix us a drink. I got in view of Bella and I almost dropped the cups in my hand at the sight in front of me.

There was Dan, that fuck head, standing over _my_ Bella, so close to her ear I thought he was kissing it. I chugged down my beer, hoping to free my good hand so I could wind up for a punch. What the fuck was he even doing here anyway? I didn't think he'd have the nerve to show up this year. As I approached though, I saw Bella nod her head and wave him off. He responded with a smile and walked away. When Bella saw me, she gave me a big toothy grin, patting the chair next to her. I don't know what the hell just happened, but maybe I was over reacting. I decided to let it go, for now. But if he so much as looked at her again, I was going to beat him senseless with my fake gun.

"Hello hot stuff, got something there for me?" Bella licked her lips at me, which made my dick twitch in anticipation. She noticed the now lone drink in my hand and shot me a questioning look.

"I, uh, got thirsty on the way over. Here." I thrust the cup in her hand a little more forcefully than I should've, still a bit angry over Dan's presence.

"Careful! You'll spill beer all down my dress."

"We wouldn't want that, now would we? Because then I'd just have to take it off before the stain set. I'd be able to help clean it off your skin though." It was my turn to lick my lips, which made her rosy cheeks redden even more.

I watched as she drank the beer down quickly, a determined look on her face.

"What's the rush?"

"I don't like beer that much." Oh, how had that escaped me? I just assumed she liked it because she was always drinking it with us.

"Well what would you prefer? We have pretty much anything you can think of."

"Mm…maybe a rum and coke?"

"Your wish, my command." I gave her a quick smile before heading off to the bar again. I made up the drink and headed right back over. I was pleased to find no one over by here this time.

"Thanks handsome." She sipped on her drink, assessing my bartending skills. When it passed her inspection, she began taking bigger gulps. "Mmm" again, that noise. It drove me crazy.

"Care to dance some more?"

Bella got up and we made our way once more through the crowded floor. She still had her drink in hand, taking the occasional drink in between grinding her ass into me. God this woman was incredible.

Flo Rida's "Low" came on and I saw Bella's eyes brighten. I could see the excitement there and it in turn made me tremble with anticipation. I knew the lyrics to the chorus well, who didn't, and couldn't wait to see if she'd go low on me too.

I was not disappointed. The first time the chorus rang through, Bella's tight little body started swaying down lower and lower to the floor. Her ass stuck out a bit more with every swing of her hips. When she got so low she could almost touch the ground, I noticed a lacy white thong just barely peeking out from the bottom of her dress. I groaned audibly at the sight of her sweet cheeks exposed to me. but I had to move in closer, afraid any other guy would be able to see this alluring woman as well.

Just then she slid her ass back up my legs, ending with a little pop as she hit my crotch. The feel made me buck my hips out to her. This. Woman. Was. A. Temptress.

The song ended before I busted a nut in my pants again, luckily. She pulled back a bit and shook her cup at me.

"Care to freshen me up?" I grabbed the cup and fixed her another drink as quickly as I could. I was a little hasty and didn't realize how much rum I had put in there. Oops, hopefully she wouldn't mind.

I could see Alice approach Bella and whisper in her ear. Bella gave her a wicked smile and nodded quickly. When she saw me coming back, she gave Alice a little push and turned toward me.

"Thanks, you are the best." She took a huge gulp then. I wondered why she was going through her drinks so quickly. She wasn't usually like this. I shook the idea off, she probably just wanted to get buzzed a bit quicker, like most everyone else. I couldn't drink though. I didn't want my memory to be hazy. I needed a clear mind so I could forever remember just how damn sexy my girlfriend looked tonight. That image would help me get through my long and boring days in class.

At the end of every song, Bella needed a new drink. And at the start of each new song, Bella's dancing got racier and racier. I wasn't complaining though. As her legs widened for me I noticed how her dress rode up her creamy smooth thighs. My mouth watered at the sight and idea of what I could do in between those legs.

"I know what you're looking at. Say the words and whatever you want, is yours." My breathing hitched slightly at that.

"Bella." I wanted to sound stern, warning her to stop with the sexual comments, but it came off more as pleading.

"C'mon Eddie." Oh man was she drunk. She never called me Eddie except for when she was drunk. "Don't tell me you don't want to take me over there," she pointed to the closed door leading to my room, "and fuck me senseless." Her right leg came up to wrap around my hips, pushing her hot center into my increasingly hard bulge.

"Shit, Bella. What are you doing? Not now. Put your leg down, people can see you! I don't want these horny bastards being able to tell what color your thong is!"

Bella's demeanor changed abruptly. Her leg came down and she pushed away from me. Her face was one of anger and I could tell they were watery, foreshadowing tears.

"Oh, I get it. You can go around and fuck any horny, fake ass bitchy girl you like as long as she throws herself at you. But not me. You wouldn't dream of having to do something as disgusting as sleep with me." She stormed away, heading for the closest thing that offered her safety, my bedroom. I was left speechless and confused.

What the hell just happened?

I ran to my bedroom, so fast the surrounding people became blurs. I don't know what happened, but I had to find out. What was she thinking? How cold she even believe the words coming out of her mouth? Hadn't she felt how excited I was? Did she not remember how just the feel of her rubbing against me on the roller coaster made me cum? Was she insane? No, she was drunk. Still, how had she gotten the idea of me wanting to sleep with women in her head, and then decided I didn't want her because of it?

"Bella?" I called softly as I stepped into my room. I turned to close and lock my door. Now was definitely not the time for interruptions.

She made no response, though I could hear her sobbing lightly into my pillow. She lay face down, arms and legs held tight against her body, as if trying to make herself as small as possible.

"Bella, please. Talk to me. What's going on?"

I got nothing in response except for more crying, only louder and more ragged than before. I could not take to hear her cry like this. It broke my heart. I made my way to the bed and sat softly next to her. I reached out to pull her to me, but she cringed away from my touch. That act almost brought tears to my eyes as well.

"Please. I don't know what I did wrong, but I can't make it right unless you talk to me."

"You…don't…want…me" Each word was interrupted by her small sobbing hiccups.

"How can you even say that?!"

I was angry, but immediately regretted my harsh tone. It just made her cry that much harder. I wasn't angry at her, just at the idea of her thinking I didn't want her. All of a sudden, her sobbing stopped. She sat up and turned to stare at me, eyes full of anger. The look scared me. I had no idea what possessed her to look at me like that.

"Please!" She spat the word at me. "Don't pretend that what I said isn't true. I know all about your little sexcapades. Are you trying to tell me you didn't go around, sleeping with as many girls as possible? Tell me, what's the record? How many girls have you slept with in one night?!"

Everything went dark around me, though all the lights remained on. Even my brain was spluttering, trying to come up with an answer.

"How…how did…" My brain just couldn't function.

"Dan told me." Was that what they were talking about earlier? But she hadn't looked so fierce then. "It wasn't tonight; I know you saw him with me. He told me on Monday." Monday?!

"What?! If this upset you so much, why didn't you bring it up then?!" I was beyond comprehension.

"Because I told myself, the past didn't matter, which it doesn't. What matters is the fact that you don't want me like that. And I'm supposed to be your fucking girlfriend!" I was again left dumbstruck that she could even think it possible that I did not want her in everyway possible.

"Bella." My tone was soft and pleading. "Bella, I want you. Oh God how I want you." She looked like she wanted to interrupt. "I don't want to hear you say otherwise ever again. You have no idea just how much you tempt me, especially tonight."

"Then why?" She waited for a moment, expecting a response. But I didn't know what she was asking. So when I didn't answer she continued. "If you want me, then why haven't you slept with me yet? Why, if I'm tempting you so much tonight, did you tell me to stop when I was trying to have sex with you? Why, why why?"

"Because Bella." I grabbed onto her, despite her protests, and clutched her to my chest tightly. "I care so much for you." I couldn't say the word love, not while she was drunk and like this. She'd think I was merely saying it to console her. "You have no idea how much. And I don't want the first time I make love to you to be when you're drunk. I want you completely sound and aware so you can feel just how very much I want you." Her eyes went wide and I noticed she held her breath. "When I make love to you, every inch of your body will quiver and quake from the intensity of my desire." Her breath left her lungs in a soft whoosh of air.

"Edward, I'm so sorry." She hung her head dejectedly. "I just, was so sure that you didn't want me, and I'm so drunk I'm not really thinking straight. God I want you so bad. I'm sorry. You're right, I don't want to be drunk for our first time. I'm sorry."

"Shh, don't apologize anymore. I'm sure you're just really wound up. How long has it been, Bella?" she stared at me, confused. "How long has it been since you've orgasmed?" She blushed at me, the red intensifying as my hands trailed up her silky smooth legs. I leaned in to kiss her and she gasped.

"But, I thought you said…you want to wait…" I cut her off as my mouth reached out to lick her bottom lip.

"And I meant it. But just because we can't make love yet, doesn't mean I can't help you out, relieve some of that tension. I do owe you."

Without hesitation she leaned into me, searching for my lips with a hungry resolve. Her tongue battled with mine for dominance, but I won out, taking her tongue in mine and bringing it back into her warm, moist mouth. I leaned her back down on the bed, pushing myself on top of her for the briefest of seconds. I knew if I stayed there I wouldn't want to leave, then my will power would probably fail me and I'd end up taking her right now.

My hand trailed from her hair, down to her chest, grazing her nipples, hardened with arousal. I wanted to save those for when I really got the chance to pleasure her. They were like a gift, wrapped up and waiting to be opened, but tonight wasn't Christmas, so I had to be patient. Though no one said I couldn't shake my gift to try and figure out what was inside.

After grudgingly moving south, over her tight stomach, I stopped at the hem of her dress, so tactfully ending right at the spot I wanted to touch most. Ever so gently I lifted the dress up, so I could just barely make out the little lace thong she was wearing. I made sure to keep my face as far away as possible, for fear of letting go of all reason and diving in, but even at this distance I could smell her arousal. I let my forefinger take one long stroke against her through the panties.

"Oh god Bella, you're so wet." I groaned out the words, so turned on by her evident arousal for me. my mind battled with my heart. Just rip them off and have your way with her. No, take it slow, she deserves it. It was like having my own personal devil and angel sitting on my shoulders.

Not giving in to my more primal urges, I allowed my finger to trace up and down her slit through the soaking wet fabric. Bella's moans were music to my ear. And I couldn't help the smile on my face. I was doing this to her.

"Edward. Oh, oh Edward, please." If Bella's moans were music then my name on her lips was like a intricately arranged symphony, the likes of which only she could write.

"What do you want, love?" Her breathing hitched in pleasure.

"Touch me, please." Her hips bucked up at me, trying to close the distance between her wet pussy and my finger. But I wanted to keep this part of her a secret as well. It wasn't Christmas after all.

I spread her folds, still confined to her panties and began rubbing her soft bundle through the lacy fabric. Every stroke was accentuated by her moans, by the gyrating of her hips.

"Mmm, yes, oh god yes." I knew I loved when she made that noise.

I leaned down and began to kiss her again as my finger rubbed circles around her covered clit. I wanted so badly to touch her, skin to skin, but I had to wait. Still, I felt like I could do more to please this goddess writhing beneath me.

My thumb replaced my finger on her clit. In one gentle movement, I pushed my way through her opening, bringing the material of her panties with me. Bella let out a hiss of pleasure at the sudden sensation of my finger inside her. Even through the panties, I could feel how warm and tight she was. God I can't even begin to imagine how good my cock will feel inside her.

"Edward, please, more, I need more."

Her wish, as always, was my command. I let a second finger enter her, pushing more fabric in. I could imagine the feel of the fabric against her tight walls added a new and different pleasure. Faster and faster I pumped my fingers in, all the while rubbing that sweet bundle of nerves. I could see the faint shimmering of sweat gather in between those beautiful breasts and I suddenly felt the need to taste this part of her. I licked her sweat away slowly, tracing my tongue up and down, side to side, but still being careful to go too far.

"Fuck Edward!" That word did amazing things to me. I could almost come here and now from the sensation of pleasuring her and hearing her say that.

"Bella, I want you to come for me. can you do that love?" I pushed my fingers in harder, adding a third one, stretching her tight walls to accommodate all of me plus the increasingly misshapen panties I was probably ruining. I pinched her clit between my thumb and the knuckle of my finger currently pulsing inside her. The sudden action made her buck up at me wildly, her back arching far off the bed as if in an attempt to get even closer to me.

"Yes! Yes, I'm gonna come. Don't stop!"

As if I even could or wanted to. I watched in awe as her walls tightened around me, her body jerking and twitching from the orgasm ripping through her body. Her face was angelic, a look of pure bliss gracing her heavenly features. Slowly, her body stilled and Bella opened those beautiful brown eyes to look up at me. I carefully pulled my fingers out, rearranging her underwear to cover her up, as well as I could anyway, without actually touching her.

"Thank you. That. Was. Amazing." Her breathing was loud, still not fully recovered from the force of her orgasm.

"No, thank you for letting me show you, if just a fraction, how much I truly want you."

Bella curled up into me then, her eyelids heavy with sleep. She needed it. I had done a good job and pleased her so well, she was exhausted. Another smug smile crept on my face. Within minutes, Bella was sleeping, a hint of a smile on her lips.

"Bella," I whispered, knowing she couldn't really hear me consciously but hoping she could subconsciously, "I love you."

**So? This is 16 pages of pure bliss (longest yet people), in my opinion, even the convo with rose, because bella got to see Emmett naked singing "afternoon delight" oh classic. Plus, you can understand more why Edward acted how he did…don't judge him. He's just a man with needs, very sexy dirty needs. but he's changed. He still has those needs, but now only bella can fulfill them!**

**oh, and did you like their costumes? i had so many reviewers, anxious for the reveal that i hope i didn't disappoint. i saw a pic of bellas costume and it was hot, then i immediately thought of edward dressed as a gangster and my mind said 'oh hell yeah, edward would make a sexy gangster.' hope you liked it. **

**I hope you liked the last bit. I know it's not exactly what you wanted, but hopefully you are somewhat satisfied with the little lemon and the I love you. I'm nervous about it! Review and tell me if I did a good job or not. I need to know your thoughts concerning Edward's pleasuring of bella. Was it hot and steamy and what you dreamed it could be like? Seriously, I need to know bc when the time comes for the big shebang, I will know if I'm on the right track and writing it well for you guys. **

**Pretty please, with sprinkles and Edward on top!**


	20. Chapter 20

**a/n: disclaimer-I'm not stephenie meyer**

**I am so so so eternally sorry for taking so long to update. After the race, I had some traumatic experiences with my hands, i don't want to get in details, bc this a/n will be long enough without it. Just now that it was with much diligence that I finished this chapter...which is epic in length. I hope you guys don't get tired before you reach the end. There's a lot that happens in this chapter. Lots of important things that I wanted you all to read about, and as such could not keep out, making the chapter go on forever. But hopefully it's a happy forever.**

**Major thank yous go out to: ILoveJasperWhitlock, icefang7, Cullenheroin10, AliceCullen-forever, I'mwiththevampires08 (you know you are my ff bff, and I love you hardcore for sharing some of your secret stuff with me. Plus em shouting my name, muah!), xiomara209, hope4more (your review had me so happy. I have so experienced odd looks from the hubby while reading particularly hilarious stories. I'm glad you like it so much!) , for being total sweethearts and wishing me luck on my race, which was…a fiasco. If you care to know details, you can pm me. I won't waste time here. **

**Then there are also major hugs and kisses to doreansmomma who, while reading for the first time, left a review for each and every chapter as she caught up. Like I told you, I love you! And amgglekim who I love too, totally making me blush from all the nice things you've said. **

**For all of you other lovely people who reviewed, I'm sorry I can't write you all down. You have no idea how much I want to publicly thank you all because I can't get over how freakin awesome you all are! As more and more of you discover this story and feed my whorish need for reviews, I find it harder and harder to keep up with putting you all down here. Tho I do reply to every single review I get. So if for some reason I didn't, please forgive me this time, give me a swift kick in the rear by pm and I'll make sure to show you some love that way. **

**And before I end this ridiculously long a/n to accompany my ridiculously long chapter: shout out to lovedforeternity. Check out her story Trapped in Heaven. If I could be trapped in an elevator, hanging on for dear life, with anyone, it would def be Edward. **

**And with that…get comfy and settled in for a long, hopefully pleasurable chapter 20!**

I woke up with the most delicious smell filling my nose. It was a clean soapy scent, ever so slightly musky. I inhaled deeply and noticed how turned on the smell made me. I opened my eyes to see the most heavenly sight in front of me. Edward's head was nuzzled into my crook of my neck, his messy locks so near me I wanted to bury my face in them. I followed the line of his spine, noticing his broad shoulders, bare because he was shirtless. I quickly took inventory of myself, wondering if we'd…but no, I was still dressed in my costume from last night. Edward was curled around me, I realized, and once I moved to sit up, I felt one muscled arm pull me back.

"Where do you think _you're_ going?" he mumbled the words into my shoulder, causing me to shiver.

"Nowhere I guess." I settled in closer to him, reveling in his warm body, so close to mine.

"Good." He pressed his lips to my shoulder, then ran kisses up my neck. "Good morning love. Did you sleep well?" I noticed his use of the pet name love. It had become increasingly more common. I nodded in reply, not wanting to contemplate on the implications of that one 4 letter word. "I figured. I'm sure you were _exhausted_ after last night."

I blushed at his words, remembering last night for the first time. Edward's hands trailing over my body, making their way to my…my face went even redder. He smirked in response.

"Yeah, last night was amazing. God Edward, I guess those fingers are good for things other than playing piano." I couldn't believe I just said that to him. It was true, though. No doubt his years of playing had helped bring about the agile, graceful movements I felt last night.

"My mom always told me to stick with my practice, that it'd pay off later. Guess she was right." He had a cocky, self congratulatory look on his face. "So what do you want to do today?"

"Can I just lay in bed with you all day?" Please say yes, I thought. It increases the chances of us finally being able to get naked and…

"Your wish, Bella." He didn't need to finish the statement. I knew he'd end it with 'my command.' I loved when he said that to me.

Just as I was moving in to kiss him, Edward's bedroom door flung open.

"Morning!" I heard the high trilling voice of Alice.

"Alice, ever heard of knocking? What if I was naked, what if Bella and I were…"

"First of all," Alice interrupted, "I've seen you naked before, nothing special. And second, you and Bella weren't doing anything. You're being too big a pussy for that." The corners of her mouth curled up in a devilish smile.

"Get out." Edward sounded murderous.

"That's fine, but I'm taking Bella with me." Alice walked closer to Edward's king size bed.

"No!" Edward pulled me in tighter against him. I could feel his morning wood pressed up against my barely covered ass. I ground into him ever so slightly, teasing him with my movements. "Bella." He chided huskily. "What do you think you are doing?"

"Getting prepared for the day's activities once Satan's minion leaves." I whispered in his ear so Alice wouldn't hear.

"Fine Alice, just make sure you bring her home at a decent hour so I can enjoy her company as well." Edward gave me a soft push towards the edge of the bed. I felt like turning around and screaming at him.

What the fuck is wrong with him. He pleasures me last night, without actually making skin to skin contact might I add, but doesn't want to do anything more in the morning.

"Yay!" Alice squealed, startling me from my thoughts. "C'mon Bella, we need to get ready."

"What are we doing?"

"Going shopping with Rose." Insert implied 'duh' here.

"You better not secretly buy me stuff Alice."

"I can't promise you anything." Her eyes glittered with mischief and I groaned internally.

"Fine, just give me a minute and I'll be up."

"Ok, but if you are not upstairs in 5, I'm coming back down. Just put a tie on the door if Eddie here decides to grow a pair." I heard Edward scoff as Alice left, closing the door behind her.

"Before you say anything," Edward started effectively cutting me off, leaving my mouth wide open, "I did that because it's not right."

"What's not right about this?" I pointed at the two of u.

"The timing, it's not right. I just…want it to be…right. You get that, right?"

"You're saying right too much." Edward grimaced.

"I just mean that I want things to be perfect. And I want you to be 100 ready. And I don't want the possibility of anyone walking in on us."

"If you're waiting for a fucking sign that I'm ready then here!" I shoved my finger down my panties, scooping up some of the moisture on my finger. "Here's your damn sign.' I held it out for him to see.

Edward had a feverish look on his face as he leaned in towards my finger. His eyes glazed over. His nostrils flared, smelling me. And I saw him start to open his mouth, the tip of his tongue peeking out between his teeth. Then all of a sudden the clouds in his eyes parted and he moved away.

"Fine! I hope you know what you're missing." I wiped my wet finger across his still slightly parted mouth and got up to leave. As I did I swear I saw him lick his lips.

--

"Bella, what's up your ass?" Rosalie, always so eloquent, asked while we were making our way through Old Orchard mall. "By the way you and Eddie were dancing, I would've thought you got some last night."

"I did, but not really, well kinda." Rose and Alice just blinked at me, confused at my words. "He didn't want to, um, go all the way because I was drunk. But he, ya know…"

"What, ate you out?" rose just blurted it out, completely oblivious to the surrounding group of teenagers giving her weird looks.

"No, not that." Of course I blushed, who wouldn't?

"Oh, so he fingered you." Alice cracked a smile.

"God Alice! Do you have any idea how much it weirds me out that you can talk about _that_ with your brother?"

"Why? He's not doing it to _me._" Good point. "And why are you having such a hard time talking about this? Don't act like your ass is all virginal and pure!" I blushed more and tried to hide myf ace as an elderly couple gawked at us.

"Sh! Can't we talk somewhere not so public?"

"Alright, fine. We'll cut this spree short so I can hear details." Rose was more excited than I've ever seen her. I hadn't really expected that. Alice pouted a bit but stopped when she realized she'd get the goods on me and Edward.

So we hopped in Rose's ridiculous beamer and headed back to campus. We decided to go to Rose's place, less of a chance of someone walking in and disturbing our conversation.

"Alright, spill." Alice leaned forward in her seat.

"I still think it's weird." I mumbled under my breath. "Well, as you know, we were dancing and having a good time. Well Edward left to get me a drink and Dan came up to me to see how I was doing and I think Edward saw because…"

"Wait, what?" Oh, I had forgotten to tell Alice everything that went down.

"You remember Dan Anderson." Rose looked at Alice suggestively.

"Oh, that Dan, Pig Dan." I assumed she was referring to how he treated women.

"Yeah so he's in my anatomy class and he saw me at the Hundo and kinda referred to Edward's past. So in class I asked about it and…"

"Oh Bella, that's not the way I would've liked you to hear about that."

"It's ok. I had a chat with Rose. She helped me sort through my issues about his past." I glanced at Alice, afraid she'd be hurt that I had not confided in her. But I saw a look of elation on her tiny features as she looked between me and Rose, clearly pleased at how our relationship was growing.

"Alright, go on with the story." Rose tapped her foot impatiently.

"So Dan knew I was upset, I left in the middle of lecture, and he saw me at the party and wanted to apologize. He said he felt bad for telling me all that. But I wasn't sorry. I think I deserved to know." Rose and Alice nodded in agreement. "so I think Edward saw because he looked all pissy for awhile. I had to take his mind of it so he'd calm down. I had a plan to seduce him, but needed some courage in the form of alcohol or I'd never do it right. When I told him how much I wanted to have sex with him, he stopped me. I thought it was because he didn't want me. I was drunk, I ran and hid in his bedroom, I cried, he came in, and he fingered me. The end."

"Oh, I think not honey. I need more than that." Rose gave me a death stare.

"Fine, he told me he wanted me very much but wanted to wait til I was sober, but that he still wanted to help relieve some pent up frustration."

"Finally, on to the good stuff!" rose reminded me of Emmett then, clearly wanting to enjoy any kind of sexual tale.

"God it was amazing. He didn't undress me, just did it all through my underwear." I felt myself get bolder, wanting to gush about his amazing, talented fingers. "I mean, when his finger entered me, fabric and all, I almost lost it. it was really sexy. I've never orgasmed like that before, never. And it was just with his finger. Just wait til he uses his mouth, or his dick!" I frowned at that, remembering this morning.

Alice's nose was scrunched up slightly, probably somewhat uncomfortable. Well, she asked for it.

"So what's the problem? Mind blowing orgasm, great right?" Rose looked boggled at my sour expression.

"Well this morming,I ya know, tried to initiate things and he all but kicked me out of bed."

"Ew! Is that what you guys were whispering about when I was there? Yuck! That's crossing a line Bella, ugh! My brother!" I couldn't help but laugh at her outburst. Maybe now she'd stop pestering me about details.

"I wouldn't worry about it Bella. He probably wants to plan it out and make it perfect and shit, like lay rose petals on the bed. You know how Edward over thinks things." I thought about what he said earlier, about the timing not being right. Was he planning it out to make it perfect?

After all the girl talk, I headed over to Edward's. I think he was worried that I was mad at him, but I just didn't' have it in me. If he was trying to make things perfect I didn't want to hold it against him. But I was feeling really tired, so when Edward suggested we go out to a movie, I turned him down.

"Bella, are you still upset with me?" He gave me his Cullen pout. If I was upset before, I wouldn't be now, that's for damn sure. But his pout couldn't help me be less tired.

"No I'm not, I just am really tired. Is it ok if we just have a bum night?" I saw relief wash over his features at my assurance that I was not upset.

We decided to just watch some movies on his TV. I didn't last long. I only remember him putting in some dvd before I fell asleep.

--

Early Sunday morning I woke up in a cold sweat, shivering despite Edward's warm body pressed up next to me and the comforter tucked around my body. My stomach was in pain, like little knives pricking at it. I tried to fall back asleep, despite the pain I felt, but I couldn't escape that way.

Maybe if I get up and use the bathroom the pain will go away. I gently removed Edward's arm from around my waist and headed for his bathroom.

As soon as the toilet entered my line of sight, the need to vomit overtook me. I just made it in time to empty my stomach into the porcelain beneath me. I tried to be as quiet as possible, so I wouldn't wake Edward, but when there was nothing left in my stomach, my body gave way to violently loud dry heaving. I heard fast footfalls approach me from behind.

"Bella, what's wrong? Are you ok?"

"Oh I'm fabulous, just puking my guts out here." I retorted in between my upheavals.

"How can you be sarcastic at a time like this?" he smiled at me sadly while tenderly holding my hair out of my face. I felt his hands rub circles on my back, trying to comfort me. When he noticed my sweating he placed one soothingly cool hand to my forehead. "Bella, you're burning up!" He sounded fearful. I wasn't too worried though. The only thing that was weird was how long it had taken me to get sick.

"Every year around the same time I get sick, like the flu or something. Usually it's around the start of school. Maybe the change of scenery delayed the inevitable. I'm cursed. I heard Edward mumble "danger magnet, before scooping me up slowly to carry me to bed.

"Stay here love. I'm going to get you some Gatorade and Tylenol."

I don't even remember Edward coming back. Everything was hazy. I could hear him whispering words of comfort and encouragement, that the sickness would soon pass. All I could do was shake and shiver in response. At one point I felt something cold pressed against my forehead and knew Edward had put a damp wash cloth there.

When I woke up on Monday, I found a bottle of water, Gatorade, ginger ale, and saltines next to me. On the pillow, beside my head, was a note from Edward.

_My dearest Bella,_

_I'm sorry I had to leave you but I had to go to class to turn in some assignments. Text me if you need anything and I'll leave the second you ask me to. I'm here to take care of you, always._

_-Edward_

I melted at his words, words that convinced me of the truth that had been staring me in the face for awhile now. I was completely 100 in love with Edward Cullen. But now that I was being honest with myself, how do I act? I know he cares for me, but I couldn't tell him until I knew he loved me too. I'm just a coward like that. I guess I'll just play the waiting game then.

My throat ached from all the retching I had done. I grabbed the bottle of Gatorade and chugged it down. Not even a minute later, I felt the unwelcome churning in my stomach and had to bolt to the bathroom. After rinsing out my mouth repeatedly, I stumbled back to bed. It seems my stomach was still too raw to handle that much fluid.

My timing was just fucking perfect. I knew I'd be out of it for a few days. Not only would I get behind in classes but Edward would be even more careful around me.

--

I lost track of time as Monday rolled into Tuesday, Tuesday in Wednesday, and Wednesday into Thursday. I spent all my time in Edward's bed. Emmett had cleared out to stay with Rose, declaring theh room officially quarantined. He should just move in there already.

Edward only left my side when absolutely necessary. He was too much. My heart ached as each day my love for him increased. I felt bad though. The whole room smelled of sick and I didn't want Edward to catch what I had. He told me not to worry, because he supposedly had an immaculate immune system. of course. Everything about him was perfect.

Finally, four days later and ten pounds lighter, I felt well enough to get up and go to my lab. I was surprised when I saw Dan there, instead of my normal TA. I had a sinking suspicion that when he didn't see me in lecture, he thought I was mad at him. I bet he asked my TA if he could come in today to check on me. He was overly polite to me, trying to make up for what his words had done. I guess he felt bad for telling me tales of Cullen's past, even if they were true.

The weekend came and with it a slight change in Edward. I think he sensed my frustration with our physical intimacy, or lack thereof, because now as we made out, he'd let his hands wander a bit. He'd even taken to allowing us to grind while kissing. I felt like two teenagers humping in the living room as our parents slept upstairs, none the wiser. But any time we came close to getting past that part, he'd stop. I decided to not press the issue. He was clearly not ready, who knew why the hell not. Rose's words kept coming to mind: "you know how Edward over thinks things." It was true. All I knew was if he didn't do _something _soon, I'd have to invest in some toys to get the job done.

--

**EPOV**

I knew Bella wanted to have sex. Hell, I wanted to have sex. But I just couldn't. I needed for her to know that I loved her first, and I needed to know if she felt the same. Not that if she didn't love me I wouldn't sleep with her, because I would still if she wanted it. I just needed to know her feelings first. I was in too deep to really stop this. It would be ok if she didn't love me, I felt enough of that emotion for the two of us. But if she did love me back, well that would just intensify our first time being intimate.

It was getting harder to resist her. Every night as we lay together, I felt the need to just touch every part of her gorgeous body. But the timing of telling her how I felt was always off. I wanted it to be perfect and somehow laying in my bed in the apartment I shared with two guys just didn't feel like the right place.

Luckily, or unluckily depending on how you viewed things, midterms were upon us. And every spare second of our time was spent studying. I knew Bella was working that cute little ass off to earn a scholarship and I needed to maintain my 4.0 GPA to impress the different med schools I hoped to get into. And unfortunately for me, being with Bella had me slacking. So I _really _needed to do well on my exams.

We weren't allowed to study together because we were distractions for each other. She even had to resort going to study groups for anatomy with Dan. I bet he was loving that shit. But god, how I missed her. That rich mahogany hair, how she twirled her finger in it when she was deep in thought, and how she stuck her tongue out slightly when she concentrated. I loved this beautiful girl. I had fallen hard.

I tried listening to music as I studied in my room, but it seemed every song tied to Bella somehow. _This is impossible_! I pulled out my phone and texted Bella the lyrics currently being sung by Incubus.

"_I wish you were here" listening to the song and it's true –E-_

I leaned back in my chair, hoping she'd respond soon. I needed to hear from her, even if I technically wouldn't _hear _anything, but read it. Bella was in the library after all, insisting the dorms were too loud to study in.

_Incubus? –B-_

_Yes beautiful –E-_

"_I need you boo, I gotta see you boo" –B-_

_Chris Brown? Really? Scoff! –E-_

_Hey, even I can like trendy teeny bopper pop sometimes. It's what's playing on my ipod right now. –B-_

That's how we were communicating a lot these days. I wished I could talk on the phone, rather than text, but she was always at that damned library, and she said she felt rude being on the phone while hundreds of other students tried to study. So grudgingly, I accepted this small part of Bella while she was diligent with her studies. Though I did notice a common trend in her texts lately, something that drove me crazy. Every text contained lyrics to songs she was listening to, songs that were rather obvious in tone. She was trying to kill me.

_I feel so untouched_

_  
And I want you so much_

_  
That I just can't resist you_

_  
It's not enough to say that I miss you_

_  
I feel so untouched right now_

_  
Need you so much somehow_

_  
I can't forget you_

_  
I've gone crazy from the moment I met you –B-_

I only knew the song because I had heard her listening to it one day. I could just imagine her making all the ooh and ah noises in that song. It turned me on, which I think was her point.

_Bella, don't make me come snatch you away from your books –E-_

It was an empty threat and she knew it. We both needed to be serious with our studying. So she wanted to torture me, that was the likely conclusion. It was no secret she was always in the mood. Me not giving her what she wanted was probably fuel for her 'payback.'

_I'd like to see you try._

"_I want to love you, feel you, wrap myself around you_

_I want to please you, squeeze you, I just can't get enough_

_And if you move real slow, I'll let it go" –B-_

And now the only thing I could think of was Bella's legs wrapped around my waste, her pussy squeezing my cock…Damnit. She was evil that girl. I didn't even have time to respond before she sent me another text

_Break me off, show me whatcha got_

_Cuz I don't want no one minute man –B-_

God, she was driving me crazy. She was taunting me now. I couldn't let her get away with that. I was definitely not a minute man.

"_How 'bout in the library on top of books_

_  
But you can't be too loud" –E-_

I hope that line drove her crazy because every text she sent me was doing just that.

_If only you'd lick me from my head to my toes. _

_I gotta get back to studying, _

_See you back at your place later tonight. –B-_

Even though I couldn't hear her voice, I could still sense the dejected tone in her words. I wish I could tell her. I wish I could tell her that I was in love with her right now, then sweep her up and run to my place so I could do everything she wants me to do to her body. But I knew she needed to study. I knew she needs these grades; otherwise she'd have to find a part time job. And I was too selfish to share her with anyone or anything else.

I decided I'd make it up to her over Thanksgiving break. It was just a week away. We'd be busy with exams til then, so it would be perfect. I'm going to tell her I love her then, and show her how much, even if she didn't feel the same.

--

BPOV

I was excited. Only a few more days until two momentous occasions.

The first was Thanksgiving break. The Cullens had invited John, Jan, and me over for their annual turkey bowl and Thanksgiving dinner. Though that situation brought up a new and different, slightly nerve wracking occasion: officially meeting the parents. Obviously I had already met Carlisle, but it was in a strictly professional setting. And I had yet to meet Esme, though I had seen pictures. She was gorgeous, more than gorgeous, and extremely intimidating. Edward kept reassuring me that his parents already loved me because I was the one girl with enough personality and looks to rein in their wayward son.

The second occasion was that I was _finally _going to see Dr. Weber who would hopefully be giving the ok to take off my cursed walking cast. She assured me that it would be off by Thanksgiving, so the appointment was merely a formality. I was beyond ecstatic. I would still need to take it easy on my leg, but at least I could wear two shoes now, and not worry about accidentally kicking Edward in the shins with my bulky cast. Edward seemed really excited about the whole situation. Maybe he has been waiting for the cast to be off. Maybe that was what was holding him back.

--

"You ready to be rid of this thing?" Edward looked down at my left leg briefly as we headed over to the hospital.

"Fuck yes I am." I was more than ready.

Edward's eyes bulged out of his sockets a bit at my use of the word 'fuck.' I didn't use it in casual conversation that often, but I had been hanging out with Rosalie and Emmett more. Fuck was probably the most over used word in their vocabulary.

"I'm sorry, did I offend you?" His expression was starting to worry me.

"Quite the opposite actually. You have no idea how much of a turn on it is to hear you say 'fuck'."

"I'll remember that." I stored that tidbit away for future use. Next time we were alone I would be sure to use it often.

--

Dr. Weber gave me the ok to remove the cast and I felt like jumping for joy, only my left leg was still too weak for activities such as that. So I settled on a slight bounce and a loud cheer once it was finally gone for, hopefully, good.

Edward and I celebrated by making out in my bed for a change. Alice walked in and interrupted us before things could get too NC-17 rated. I noticed Edward's look of disappointment. Hm, that's odd. It seems like he's getting as anxious as I am to finally have sex. This Thanksgiving break was going to be amazing, I could feel it.

--

Exams were finally over and I felt a huge weight lifted from my shoulders. Wednesday morning, Alice helped me pack for the long weekend, shoving everything her dainty hands could get a hold on. I noticed she took extra care to pack as many baby dolls and bra and panty sets as possible. When she noticed my questioning look she turned to me.

"What? Don't act like you're not going to use this time to try and seduce him. I'm just helping you out. You'll thank me later. But you don't have to bother with telling me about it. I don't need to know those details." I smiled at how she had definitely learned her lesson from last time.

Edward came over shortly after Alice and I had finished packing, ready to help us load all of our luggage. For only a five day visit, you'd think we'd be going on a month long vacation. He seemed to notice that.

"Exactly how long are you planning to stay?" He winked at me when we saw Alice huff out of annoyance.

"Honestly Edward, just because you don't know how to accessorize and plan ahead for any possible occasion doesn't mean Bella and I don't as well!" She placed her hands on her hips in a very Alice pose, and turned to call Jasper.

"C'mon, let's bring your stuff down to my car." Edward's hands reached out for my suitcase.

"Actually Edward, I am taking Roxanne to Highland Park." Edward looked at me, not understanding.

"Who's Roxanne? I didn't know you were bringing a friend for Thanksgiving." I couldn't help it, I laughed and a little snort escaped.

"Roxanne's the truck my uncle gave me to use at school. He'd be really disappointed if I didn't bring it back to visit. He loves that thing just a little too much." Edward's face fell.

"But I wanted to ride back with you."

"It's not exactly a long drive Edward, I'd see you in like 10 minutes, well maybe 20 with how slow Roxanne goes." Edward looked both hurt and disgusted.

"I don't care how long of a drive it is. I don't like being apart from you. And did you say _slow_?" I forget sometimes what a speed demon he is in that little Volvo.

"Just ride with me in Roxanne, I'll even let you drive." That seemed to do the trick. He sighed out a "fine" and started picking up all the luggage he could carry.

When we made it to Roxanne, Edward started looking around expectantly.

"Well, where's your truck?"

"You're looking at it." I pointed straight ahead and noticed how Edward did a small double take.

"That is not your truck Bella." He shook his head a bit, as if trying to convince himself of his words.

"Yes it is. Why would you think it's not."

"Look at it. It's…it's…" He was at a loss for words.

"Don't you dare insult Roxanne. If John hears you, he won't hesitate to defend her honor and challenge you to a duel."

"Fine. I won't talk about Roxanne. Just don't expect me to be driving this once we get home."

"But you're Volvo will be here on campus."

"Oh I have other cars I can use." He gave me his crooked smile while loading up our stuff.

After a short drive, though admittedly longer than it should've been, we pulled into John and Jan's driveway. John came out to help bring in my stuff, lingering outside longer than normal to inspect Roxanne for any damage. Edward brought my bags up to my room and plopped down on my bed.

"I'm beat." Edward closed his eyes, bringing his hands up behind his head to relax.

"It's not even noon and you already want to nap?" I climbed in after him, snuggling against his chest.

"I never said anything about napping, now did I?" He turned to his side so he faced me. I saw his eyes flicker down to my lips and lean down towards me. I brought my head up to meet his lips, which were centimeters apart, when I heard Jan yell up from the bottom of the stairs.

"Edward dear, your mother's on the phone!" Well, that ruined the moment. Edward sighed heavily before getting up to go downstairs. I followed after him quickly, disappointed that we were interrupted.

Edward was on the phone for only a minute before he hung up and turned to me.

"Esme wants to meet you, now. Plus she need help getting ready for tomorrow. So…care to join me?" He held out his arm, waiting for me to take it so he could lead me next door.

"Alright." My voice was shaking and Edward heard the nerves.

"Don't worry love. Esme is the sweetest woman I know, besides you, and she will love you. My whole family loves you. How can they not?" He smiled at me, which I hesitantly returned. I couldn't help but wonder why, if his whole family loved me, he did not?

"Jan, we'll be over at Edward's helping Esme for awhile." I called over my shoulder to my aunt.

"Oh, I'll be there in a bit. I'm helping her out with some pies!"

The walk to his house seemed painfully long. I felt like an inmate on death row, walking the green mile. I don't know why I was so nervous. Maybe it was because I didn't feel good enough for Edward. And I was afraid Esme would agree. I mean, I was no match for the gorgeous man on my arm. I was no match for anyone in that ridiculously good looking family.

Edward opened the back door of his house and before I had a chance to get inside, I felt two slender arms encase me in a tight hug. My eyes were wide, frantic as I tried to see who it was.

"Oh Bella, it's so nice to meet you finally!" I heard a soft undulating voice, that I instinctively knew belonged to Edward's mother.

"Mrs. Cullen, I'm glad to finally meet you too." And I was now, her show of affection helped ease my tension considerably.

"Please, call me Esme dear." She stepped back from me and I noticed that she was even more beautiful in person. Her hair was the color of caramel and came down in soft waves around her high cheek bones. She had the face of a haute couture model. And her body gave no indication that she had carried three children. Some women have all the luck.

We sat around the kitchen talking like old friends, catching up after years of not seeing one another. I fell in love with Esme almost easier than I had Edward. She was an amazing woman, and I knew she was the reason for such an incredible family.

"Oh Bella, you have to look at this!" Esme got up and walked briskly to the living room, returning with a rather large photo album not too long afterwards.

"Mom, please. Don't bore my girlfriend." Esme just beamed at Edward's words. It was clear I was the first girl he had brought home, a fact that pleased me immensely.

"I'm not boring her, am I Bella?" I could tell Edward did not want me looking through the pictures, but I wasn't about to turn down the chance of seeing him when he was younger.

"Not at all!" I leaned in closer to the seat Esme had returned to, anxious to see as much of Edward's family history as possible.

I 'aw'ed and laughed at all the different pictures of little Edward. Then Esme showed me what was quite possibly the most adorable thing I'd seen yet. The picture had all three Cullen children, posing for the camera in their pajamas. Emmett was so charming in his footy pajamas and Alice was beyond sweet in her Rainbow Bright night gown. But Edward, he topped the cake. He didn't have on any pants, which Esme couldn't remember as to why not, just small cartoon printed underwear, and a shirt that read "Here comes trouble" printed across. He had his arms up, flexing as if he was the Incredible Hulk.

"Oh my god Edward, do you still have that shirt?" I was in hysterics. Edward sulked like a child as Esme and I laughed so hard I thought I would pee my pants. "What's that on your underwear?"

"Oh, those are Thunder Cat panties, right dear?" Esme turned to look at Edward.

"Please mom, don't." Edward's eyes were closed and he was slightly pink in the cheeks.

"Panties?" I questioned Esme's word choice.

"Oh yes, panties. You see, we were filming a video of the children to send to my parents. Edward was really excited about his new underwear, so he came out wearing only that. He turned to the camera and said, 'look grandma, Thunder Cat panties!' and he wiggled his butt at the video recorder." I laughed at that, turning to look at a very embarrassed Edward.

"I remember that." Carlisle came walking into the kitchen. "Because I remember getting mad and yelling at you."

"Yes, we couldn't send the tape because Carlisle kept yelling and swearing. 'Esme, what are you teaching our boys? Men don't wear panties! It's called underwear, damnit!"

I laughed even harder at the thought of Carlisle, usually so calm and collected, flustered over his son calling underwear panties.

"If you still have that video, I have to see it!" I looked at Esme who winked at me.

"I don't know, I'd have to search for it." I had a feeling she knew exactly where it was.

"Well if you two are quite done now, maybe we should get to what's really important?" Edward was flustered and we knew it, so we changed topics.

--

After our chat around the table, Esme had us busy preparing Thanksgiving dinner. She made all her pies by hand every year, so the women were in the kitchen making the dough and pie filler. The men, on the other hand, busied themselves with football watching. It hardly seemed fair, but it was fun getting to know even more about the Cullen family. I was exhausted and by night time, ready to pass out on my bed. Edward walked me home and gave me a quick kiss goodnight. He didn't dare draw it out because John and Jan were right behind us.

"So John," Edward started after pulling away from me, "are you ready for tomorrow morning? Think you can keep up with us _old man_?"

"Please, I can run circles around you, _whipper snapper." _What the hell were they talking about?

"Bella, will you be my cheering section tomorrow?" Edward turned back to me, giving me that smile I loved best.

"For what?"

"For our annual turkey bowl. It's me, Jasper, and Emmett against Carlisle and John."

"That hardly seems fair." I whispered to Edward as my aunt and uncle stepped inside. "I mean, look at you three, there's a definite unfair advantage going on."

"You'd be surprised. Carlisle is quite the football player. And John can hold his own. Besides, Emmett usually gets distracted by Rose to be much use. I think Carlisle must pay her off for that." I gave him a confused look. "You'll see tomorrow morning. Maybe she can convince you to…I mean, I wouldn't mind a distraction in that form." Edward left me with another parting kiss, utterly perplexed by his words. "Until tomorrow! Sweet dreams sleeping beauty!"

--

Thanksgiving morning I was shaken awake by Alice and Rose. I could tell by how groggy I was, that it was early in the morning. I tried to pull the covers over my head, to block them and the annoying sun from my eyes, but they yanked them away.

"Out of bed you!" Alice was pulling on my arm, slowly inching me closer to the edge of my bed.

"No, too early. Wake me when the turkey's done." I ripped my arm out of her grip and tried to roll over to the other side of bed.

"I don't think so!" Rose's arm shot out, pulling me back towards the two of them. "Don't you want to watch Edward get all hot and sweaty playing football? The best part is the end, when the guys take their shirts off."

I sat up at her words, really thinking about the visual of Edward sweaty and shirtless. I looked over at Rose, grinning, when I took in her appearance.

"What are you wearing? Halloween is over, or didn't anyone tell you?"

Rose was wearing a "ref" outfit. The black and white striped shirt was way too tight, make her chest pop out almost obscenely. And the little black bootie shorts left little to the imagination. On her long slender legs Rose wore knee high black socks, ending in perfectly white tennis shoes. She even completed the look with a whistle.

"Oh I know, this is for Emmett." She flashed a shit eating grin my way.

"But it's cold out there. Like, 20 degrees. How do you not freeze your ass off?"

"Don't worry, Emmett always 'warms her up' afterwards. It's an unspoken rule to stay away from his room after the game." Alice was a lot more bundled up. I guess being so tiny with no body fat made you a lot more susceptible to the cold.

"Whatever, you're crazy Rose." I shook my head as I got out and dug through my bag for something warm.

We headed over to the Cullen's massive back yard, the guys already playing. They took this turkey bowl seriously. It looked like the boys were running John and Carlisle into the ground, that is, until Rose walked by Emmett. He had been running with the ball, about to bowl over my poor uncle to score, when all of a sudden he stopped. John didn't miss a beat; he pummeled him to the ground.

"Oh yeah! You like that Emmett?" He started making fun of Emmett, doing the Frank the Tank movements Emmett so lovingly did.

"Not fair." Emmett pouted. But when Rosalie bent over him to check if he was alright, Emmett returned to his normal boisterous self.

I quickly lost track of the two of them, watching Edward play. He was amazing. The speeds he could reach were better suited for a mountain lion. And the craziest part was that he didn't even look winded. Oh man, this boy had stamina. I bet he could go all night in bed. I had never seen him play any sports before, something I regretted now. He was so good, it was a turn on. The highlight of the game came whenever Edward would pull up his shirt to wipe away the sweat on his forehead. It gave me a great view of his stomach. One time he turned to look at me and caught me staring. He flashed a sexy crooked smile and pointed at me.

"This is for you Bella." He set up next to Jasper, who hiked the ball to Emmett. Edward took off in a flash, making his way to the opposite side of their make shift field. Carlisle, reading the play, was back near the end zone, trying to beat Edward to the ball. In an amazing play, Edward shot up in the air and made a one handed catch, landing gracefully on his feet. He threw the ball up in the air as a sign of victory.

"Hell yes! We win!" Emmett came barreling over, and hoisted Edward up over his shoulder. "_We are the champions, no time for losers, 'cause we are the champions, of the world!"_

All the girls cheered madly at their respective partner. I noticed Emmett, after putting Edward down, scoop Rose up in similar fashion and run off with her. Good thing too because she was starting to look a little blue. Good thing skin to skin contact was the best way to warm a body up.

After the men got cleaned up, I noticed Emmett and Rose were the last to reappear, we got ready for Thanksgiving 'dinner.' I had a hard time calling it dinner since it was more of a late lunch. But I was starving at this point, smelling the delicious cooking turkey all morning long.

We gathered around the Cullen's huge dining table, more than ready to partake in Esme's feast. I had never experienced anything like it. Growing up with divorced parents, I never spent holidays with a large group of people. It was either me and Renee (and the occasional boyfriend) or me and Charlie. I never thought I missed out on anything by not being a part of a big family, but after the day's meal, I wished I had been able to experience it sooner. I could feel all the love, overflowing by this point, threatening to bust the walls down of the Cullen's mansion of a house. I could quite cry tears of happiness watching everyone interact. It was also great seeing John and Jan with everyone, a couple who so wanted children but were never granted that gift. _This day is perfect. Nothing could ruin the feelings I'm experiencing now. _

Emmett asked for the gravy. Edward picked it up, handing it to me to pass along to Emmett. I tried to grab for it without looking, a stupid mistake I know, and instead of my hand making contact with the gravy dish, my elbow did, successfully spilling it all down my front.

"Ow!" So much for not ruining anything.

Everyone at the table got up, trying to rush to me to help get the hot liquid off me before it burned.

"Don't worry, I'll just run next door and change. I'm fine really!" I didn't want them worrying. Yeah it burned a bit, but nothing serious. I was more upset that I had managed to klutz it up at Thanksgiving. I should've known it was too good to be true.

I reached the door and realized Edward was right behind me.

"You don't have to come with me, I'll be fine. Stay and finish dinner with your family. I'll be back before you have the chance to miss me." I smiled and gave him a quick peck on the cheek.

"Not likely love. I already miss you." He pouted at me. "Hurry back." I took off at a quick jog over to John and Jan's wanting to hurry so I could be back next to Edward.

After running up the stairs, a little slowly due to my ankle and the fear of falling upwards, I grabbed the first shirt my hands made contact with. I didn't care if I matched, I just wanted to get back. When I realized what shirt I grabbed, I changed my mind. I probably should try harder, or Alice would send me right back to put something on a little more "decent." It wasn't obscene, just not what would pass Alice Cullen's seal of approval.

I finally shoved what I considered a nice shirt over my head and rushed down the stairs. I made it out the door and almost ran into a very solid someone.

"Edward, I thought I told you to wait."

"Who's Edward?" I recognized that voice. My stomach dropped, fear overtaking my senses. I looked up and gazed into the blue eyes I hated most.

"What the hell are you doing here?"

--

**EPOV**

I desperately wanted to go with Bella. I wanted alone time with her, something scarce since we came up to stay with my family. Plus, if I was being truthful, I wanted to watch her change. I'm a guy, so sue me.

I walked back over to the table, my mother just having returned with another bowl of gravy.

"Good, I'm glad there's more. No one gets in the way of me, my mashed potatoes, or my gravy!' Emmett picked up the silver dish and poured copious amounts onto his food, drowning the green beans and salad along with everything else.

I kept looking back over my shoulder, waiting to see Bella return. It must've started to annoy my family because Jasper interrupted my searching.

"She just went next door Edward, calm down. What's the worst that could happen?"

"Knowing Bella? A lot of things."

All of a sudden I heard screams coming from the front yard. I got up so fast I knocked over my chair, but I didn't pause to pick it up. I ran as fast as my feet could carry me to the front door, throwing it open, almost taking it off its hinges. Because the person screaming Bella.

I got outside and noticed her face to face with a guy I didn't recognize. Though now I realized her screams were not ones of terror but fury. She was red in the face, pushing and shoving the man that was way too close for my taste.

"Bella! I yelled out before I could reach her. I guess I wanted to give fair warning to the asshole that was accosting my Bella. She turned to me, a look of fear and gratitude etched on her face.

"I'm assuming you're Edward." How did that little prick know my name? Wait, does he have an accent? Shit, this cannot be happening. Why the hell would this asshole show up now? And today of all days, the day I was planning on proclaiming my love to Bella. Would his appearance ruin that? Would Bella feel confused at seeing the man she used to love for so many years? After what felt like eternity, I reached them. I noticed the little shit with his outstretched hand, as if I would shake it.

"I'm Laurent, Bella's boyfriend." He had a cocky little smirk on his pretty boy face; I wanted to bash it in.

"You are not my boyfriend. Are you fucking stupid? Get away from me. Where's your _wife_ and your _baby?!_" Bella looked like she wanted to bash his face in too, though she didn't have the strength for it. That's ok, because I'd gladly do it for her.

"Calm down baby, I just missed you is all. Victoria and I are…on a break. She isn't the one I want. It's always been you." Laurent leaned in closer to Bella, attempting to graze the side of her cheek with his hand. I grabbed onto it before he got the chance. I gripped down on it hard, hearing his knuckles pop and crack from the force of my hand.

"Don't you fucking touch her. Don't you ever fucking try and touch her again. Do you hear me?" my voice was shaking and I knew that at any second I could snap. My father had taught me better than to just lose my temper and attack someone. But this guy was testing me.

"Calm down Romeo. I'm just here for a visit." He smirked at me again, as if he were just patronizing me. "Bella, why don't we go somewhere a little more private, hmm?" He reached his hand out, expecting her to take it. When she didn't, his hand shot out, grabbing tightly onto her wrist. "I said let's go." Oh hell no.

"I said, don't ever fucking touch her again." My hand went to his wrist and I squeezed so hard I knew I'd leave bruises. He dropped her wrist as if it burned his skin.

"Listen you _fillette, _Bella is mine, always has been, always will be. So back the fuck off. I have missed her sweet _chatte_."

"What?" I didn't speak French. How the hell was I supposed to know what he just called me, or what he missed?

"Same word, two meanings." Bella spoke for the first time in awhile. Her eyes moved down to point at something. I watched her eyes come to a stop on a part of her body, a part I knew would be sweet but had only barely touched once before.

"What the hell?! Don't you ever talk about her like that. _That_ is not yours!" The nerve of this man. Did he realize I was seconds away from punching him so hard he'd be unconscious?

"Oh do shut up already. I bet you can't please her like I can." Again with that foul smirk. "He doesn't, does he Bella?" I saw her go white. Shit, now I was regretting waiting. She didn't have anything to say because I hadn't pleased her, not yet.

"You never pleased me Laurent. Your dick was too small for me to even feel. Please. Edward can get me off without even _touching _me." The thought of him inside her made me nauseous. But her declaration of my abilities made my inner animal roar in delight.

"You've touched her?!" Laurent moved away from Bella to face me. He started closing the gap between us, clearly enrage thinking that Bella and I slept together. "You pathetic American?" He shoved me. "You think you have a right to sleep with her when she is mine?" He shoved me harder, almost making me lose my balance.

"You seem to be delusional Laurent. Bella is not yours, she is mine for as long as she'll have me." Bella turned to me, and I saw her mouth the word 'forever,' making me soar. I walked over to Bella, about to embrace her, when Laurent shoved me again, knocking me into Bella. That little shit almost made me hurt my Bella.

"If you have any sense of self preservation, you'll stop."

"Come on _fillette_ and fight me like a man. Though it would be kind of hard for you since you aren't one."

"Give me a reason Laurent. Give me a reason to beat the shit out of you and I will not hesitate to do it."

Laurent was bobbing around on his feet, trying to taunt me. All of a sudden his hand flew out to slap my face. It didn't hurt much, but it shocked me that he had the audacity to actually slap me. _Who does that?_

"That's it. I'm sorry you had to see this Bella." I pulled my arm back, winding up, and let my fist fly. It connected with his jaw, which I'm pretty sure was broken, after the crunch I felt. God it hurt my hand, but I could care less. All I cared about was that he was hurting more. He deserved to hurt after what he did to Bella.

"_Merde!"_ I was smart enough to know what that meant. He was in obvious agony, but he decided to try and fight back anyway. He threw a punch my way but I ducked out of his blow easily. He just cursed more as he tried, unsuccessfully, to fight me. And my laughs just taunted him more. I didn't hit him again, afraid that if I did so I'd lose control and kill him. I wanted to. But Bella deserved better than to be with a killer.

"ENOUGH!" Bella's look was terrifying and I worried that she was pissed at me for breaking Laurent's jaw. "Laurent, come here." Shit. Was she choosing him over me? He walked over to her, a triumphant look on his ruined face. "I'm sorry for this." She stepped closer slowly, then all of a sudden brought up her knee to hit him in the crotch. He let out a small cry before collapsing onto the cold sidewalk.

"I _never_ want to see your face again. Do you understand me?" I kicked him viciously. I knew you were never supposed to kick a guy when he was down. But he wasn't a guy. He wasn't even human in my mind. it felt good and I would've kept going except Bella's warm hand came up to my shoulder, stopping me effectively.

"Bella, let's get inside. We can call the cops and have this guy removed from our lives forever." She smiled at me and leaned in to kiss the knuckles on my right hand. All pain disappeared as she lovingly caressed my knuckles with her lips.

We turned around to enter the house when I noticed the curtains flutter closed.

"I think we had an audience." Bella let out a little giggle. "Let's take care of that knuckle, ok?"

We entered the house, with no one in sight, amazingly. Bella walked over to the freezer and pulled out a bag of peas. I loved how natural she looked doing it. She handed me said bag which I gratefully pressed against my now sore knuckles.

"C'mon, let's go downstairs." I followed her to the basement, glad we'd be away from anyone who could ask us what happened. I was still raging mad. I wanted to do more. I should've done more. I should've defended her honor. Maybe Laurent was right. Maybe I was a pussy. Only a pussy would act like I did, right? I thought it was love. Does love make you a pussy?

"Hello? Are you in there?" Bella was waving her hand in front of my face vigorously.

"Yeah, I just…I have a lot on my mind. Do you care if I play some? It always helps focus my thoughts and calm me down." I moved to the baby grand in the basement, grateful for the sound proofing my father had installed for when I played music. I knew if my family heard me playing they'd be worried about me. they hadn't heard me play except for when I was truly upset.

"Are you sure you can? Won't it hurt your knuckles?" She was amazing, so worried about me.

"Yeah, it'll be fine. It doesn't hurt that much anymore anyway." I tried to smile.

"Then by all means, play. I have wanted to hear you play live for so long." Her words shocked me. I hadn't realized how much she wanted to hear me play. If I had known that, I would've taken her home to play as often as she liked.

I sat down on the bench, Bella scooting close to me. I was upset and needed to vent, using the only outlet seemingly fit enough. My finger grazed over the ivories, worn in spots, from the love and attention I had shown it over the years. Instinctively I started playing Beethoven's _Moonlight Sonata _a piece I knew so well I didn't have to think much to perform. Funny that it fit my mood so well: brooding, melancholy, angry…the final movement was a perfect description of how I felt, murderous. It never ceases to amaze me how music can fit every possible human emotion, ones you've never felt before listening to that piece. I chanced a glance at Bella to see tears flowing down her face. I worried that my playing was effecting her negatively.

"I'm sorry, I can play something _happier_ if you'd like." I stated while I continued to stroke the keys.

"It's beautiful. You're…beautiful. I can't believe…wow you amaze me." She seemed a little over powered by my playing.

"How about I play something different, maybe something you're more familiar with? I know you know the song, I've heard it on your ipod before."

The song was simple, the words were what made it a great song, a song perfect for my Bella. I let the first note resonate before continuing.

--

**BPOV**

I recognized the song almost immediately and new tears started to streak down my face. He played each note with crystal clear perfection. And when he began singing, his voice was so beautiful it made my heart break and swell at the same time. He was singing this, for me. He felt this, for me. and I knew because he could not hide his emotions while playing. They were written to plainly for me to not see.

_I roll the window down _

_And then begin to breathe in_

_The darkest country road_

_And the strong scent of evergreen_

_From the passenger seat as_

_You are driving me home_

_Then looking upwards_

_I strain my eyes and try_

_To tell the difference between_

_Shooting stars and satellites _

_From the passenger seat as_

_You are driving me home_

_Do they collide_

_I ask and you smile_

_With my feet on the dash_

_The world doesn't matter_

_When you feel embarrassed then I'll be your pride_

_When you need directions then I'll be the guide_

_For all time_

_For all time_

When he had finished, he moved his hands from the keys and turned to face me, reaching out for my face. I noticed his knuckles, already purple from bruising.

"You shouldn't have hit him. Why did you do it?" I wasn't angry at him, just worried for his safety.

"Because I love you."

"I mean, what if he hurt you? I couldn't live with myself knowing you got hurt over me."

"Bella, did you hear what I just said to you?" He looked slightly alarmed.

"No." My mind was thinking too loudly to hear anything.

"I said I love you." I stared at him. I saw his mouth move, but heard no sound. My ears were full of the sound of my blood pumping through my body to my brain.

"I'm sorry, what did you say?"

"Isabella Marie Swan. I love you." This time, his words did not fall on deaf ears.

"Oh." Oh? I am in love with this man, have been probably since day one, and the only thing I can say back to him after he admits he loves me is oh? Damnit Bella, what the hell is wrong with you? "Edward I…"

"You don't have to say it back, love. I just needed you to know. I had to hurt him. Because he hurt you. And I love you too much to let him get away with that.."

"But I do have to say it back. Because Edward, I do too! I love you. I love you too. I am so in love with you." Edward's face broke out in the most beautiful smile I had ever seen. It was like the sun parting through stormy clouds, lighting up my soul.

"You do? You love me? God Bella, I'm the luckiest man alive. I love you so much."

He leaned down to kiss me but I beat him to it, crawling into his lap, wrapping my legs around him to be as close as possible, then lifting up to kiss him with as much emotion as I could muster. His hungry lips devoured mine, licking and tasting my mouth as much as possible. His hands roamed over my back and sides, tracing the curves of my body. And I felt his arousal very prominently against my stomach, pressed between the two of us.

"Bella, I-I want to make love to you."

"Finally." I sighed. It was then that I realized why Edward had waited. He wanted to wait til I knew he loved me. and the fact that he did, and that he knew I loved him in return would make our first time even more special.

Edward chuckled at me as he stood up, my body still firmly wrapped around his waist. He hugged me close to his chest as he walked into his room, shutting and locking the door behind him.

He placed me lightly in the middle of his bed, not wasting any time as he crawled up my body. His lips reattached themselves to mine and he let me take control, exploring the cavern of his mouth, marveling in his taste, rich and smooth like butterscotch. His tongue stroked mine, lapped in my taste. The sensation brought a moan from my swollen lips. At the sound of me, Edward pressed a little harder into me, allowing me to feel every delicious line of his hard body.

"Bella, you taste amazing. I want to see if all of you tastes as good." He licked his lips at me, causing a shiver of thrills to pass through my body.

All of a sudden, Edward ran his tongue along the side of my neck. His touch was a comet shooting against my skin. Its trail lit up my senses like the night sky. He continued his path to my ear, sucking at the sensitive skin behind it.

"Mm, yes that does taste good."

I wanted to respond but my tongue was lead in my mouth. But my silence didn't seem to bother Edward. He just continued his journey by licking back down my neck, this time pausing to bite at my skin. He reached my collarbone and began sucking there.

"Oh god Edward." I found my voice at last. Edward smiled against my skin and I felt his hands tug at the hem of my shirt.

"I need more Bella, I want to taste all of you." His emerald eyes locked onto mine, making me feel already exposed to him. I couldn't look away while he began pulling my top up. He broke our gaze only to slowly lick at the skin of my stomach slowly being revealed to him.

The sensation of the cool air hitting the warmth his mouth left behind made my muscles twitch with anticipation. Higher and higher my shirt rose and his mouth followed. He stopped once he reached the underside of my bra.

"This all has to go." The shirt came off completely and I felt his hands come behind me to unclasp my bra. He brought his hands to my shoulders, grabbing hold of the straps. Ever so slowly he slid them down my arm, exposing my breast to him inch by inch. He finally removed it completely, and stared unabashedly at my chest. I felt a little self conscious under his gaze and moved to cover myself.

"Don't." That one word made me freeze. Finally he looked up to me, passion in his eyes. "You are so beautiful."

I blushed again and felt his hands move to my heaving chest. His palms cupped each breast, kneading and massaging them. Then his fingers trailed to my hardened nipples, pulling and twisting them slightly, making me gasp for more. Never have I experienced anything so erotic, and we hadn't even moved past second base. My panties were dampening more and more with every touch.

"Edward, that…feels…amazing." I had a hard time getting the words to come out, I was panting too much.

"Good love, I want all of you to feel amazing." With that being said, I watched as Edward bent down to kiss both my breasts before moving to the left to take that nipple into his hot mouth. His tongue flicked at it roughly, causing me to moan loudly. Every once and awhile his teeth grazed my nipple, making me arch into his mouth for more. When he had finished with that one, he moved on to the other side, licking and biting again until I was completely soaked through. My lower stomach tingled and ached, needing more.

It was as if Edward could read my body. He sat up, away from my breasts, and I whimpered at the loss of such an incredible feeling. I watched him remove his shirt and was frozen at the sight of his muscled torso, just like always. Then, with anticipation burning in my eyes, I watched as he unbuckled his belt and lowered his pants, along with his boxers, allowing me to finally see all of him.

I gawked, open mouthed, at his full glory. He was big, too big, bigger than I thought possible. Would he fit? Would I please him? What if I wasn't enough? Edward, always so perceptive, leaned down to whisper in my ear.

"Don't worry love, I was made for you and you for me."

With that, I felt my insecurities vanish. Edward's hands came to my pants to undo them. He slid them and my panties off as well, leaving me completely bare to him.

"You're a goddess." I could see the love in his eyes as they swept over my body. As much as I wanted to be self conscious, I couldn't be. Not with the way his eyes caressed my body.

He lowered himself slightly to me, keeping his distance, so that his hand could come down to my dripping wet core. He let his finger slide up my slit, catching my juices on his finger. And then I watched, amazed as he brought his finger to his mouth, letting his tongue lick off what was there.

"I've wanted to do that since the Saturday you told me you were ready." He brought his finger into his mouth, sucking off anything that may have remained.

And then before I knew what was happening, he was kneeling in between my legs, pushing them apart more, to be able to look at me closely.

"Your pussy, Bella, is fucking amazing." I was suddenly grateful for the regular maintenance I kept down there. Waxing may be painful, but so worth it. It seemed he enjoyed my bare pussy.

He lowered his face in between my legs and began licking my folds, separating them with his long fingers. His tongue found my swollen bundle of nerves, flicking it lightly before drawing it into his mouth. My hips bucked up reflexively, wanting more. He granted my body's request by slipping one finger inside.

"You're so wet love." He mumbled the words against my swollen clit.

He continued his assault with his mouth and finger, adding one after the other, until I was screaming so hard I knew I'd be hoarse the next morning. My body began to shake under his skillful touch. I was on the edge, I knew, ready to drop any second. Edward could tell I'm sure, and began to pump faster inside me as his teeth grazed my sensitive clit.

"Edward, I'm gonna…I'm gonna…" and then I fell over the edge, completely blissful in my free fall.

Edward moved his tongue to my entrance, lapping up the juices that were now, I'm sure, flowing freely from me. He stayed there until I had ridden out my orgasm completely.

"God Bella, you're so fucking delicious." He came up to kiss me and I could taste myself on his lips. I let out a moan at the taste, which must've turned Edward on even more because he let out a soft "oh god" against my lips.

"Edward, I want more. I need all of you, now." I brought my legs up around his waist, hoping to pull him down to meet me. He gratefully allowed me this, pushing up against my heated, wet core.

"Bella, I love you." He whispered before he entered me completely. He went slowly, knowing that I needed time to adjust to his size. I felt my walls stretch to accommodate all of him. And soon he was completely sheathed in my heat, our pubic bones pressed tightly together. Edward leaned back to gaze into my eyes as he began to slowly move inside me.

"Bella, shit, you're pussy, it's so fucking tight, ah." Edward's eyes rolled back into his head as he began to pump faster.

He felt amazing, as if he belonged there, as if I wasn't whole without him. And I knew that that was true. He filled me up, completing me. We were one now, on so many different levels.

"Edward, harder please. I need you faster." I had waited so long to feel him and now I couldn't get enough.

"Your wish my love." He grunted out the words as he threw all caution to the wind and began to pound into me furiously.

I felt a coil begin winding tightly in my lower stomach and knew that Edward was going to make me orgasm twice. I had never come during sex. It was a completely new and different experience. As he went faster and harder, it wound tighter and tighter, until finally…

"Bella, love, I want you to come for me." And I felt my release hit me again. It was an out of body experience, Edward's name on my lips the only sounds reaching my ears. I continued to meet Edward's thrusts, wanting him to reach his climax as well, wanting him to bury his come deep inside me.

"Bella, I…I don't think I can hold out…I'm gonna come." Edward began to rock into me slightly faster as I felt him twitch above me. His face was more beautiful than I had yet seen while he orgasmed for me. The heavy perspiration on his forehead, his bronze locks fallen into his eyes. He was perfection.

Edward's body went limp above me, coming down to rest on me, his full weight pressing down. I loved it, having him on me, feeling all of him. It was like our bodies trying to fuse themselves together. I loved how his weight made us sink deeper into his mattress. After he had regained some energy, Edward rolled off of me; slipping out of me and making me feel a bit empty.

"I love you Edward Anthony Cullen." I rolled to my side to nuzzle into him, kissing as much of his bare chest as I could reach.

"Bella, that was…my…first time." Edward said still slightly breathless. I couldn't help it, I let out a sarcastic laugh escape my lips.

"Edward, you've been with countless women. It's fine, it doesn't bother me, you don't need to.."

"No, Bella, you don't understand. That was my first time making love to a woman. You are the only woman I have ever made love to, because you are the only woman I have ever loved."

I curled my body against Edward's, tears of love filling my eyes as his words sunk in. We drifted off to sleep, still tangled together.

**So…how did you enjoy it? I hope you enjoyed the first real lemon of the story. For those of you who read my one shots for Jayeliwood's contest, you'll notice this lemon is not so…dirty(?) as those. I wanted ExB first time together to be sweet and romantic. How did I do? (if you want raunchier dirtier eddie, go check out the one shots: bring the handcuffs and geek squad to the rescue. i'm shameless, i know. i'm tryin to whore it up)**

**Ps-I don't speak French, I'm a Spanish girl. So if those French terms are off and you recognize that, sorry. I tried. And in case you didn't catch it, Laurent was calling Edward a pussy, thus also talking about bella's pussy. **

**Review, review, review. You know you want to. Major love to you all! **


	21. Chapter 21

**a/n: Not stephenie meyer, you know that**

**The response to last chapter was mind blowing. for those who were shocked that Laurent came back in that chapter, you have I'mwithwithvampires08 to thank for that. She asked if he would make an appearance which I had honestly not planned. But her question inspired that part of chapt 20. So if you like it, thank her. **

**Thanks to jenNnN, psychodancechick89, ANGELICAWROTE, jackiehydelover (**_**because you asked, I'll let you in on a little secret, this is the chapter you were hoping for**_**), Sophie Girl, TheGodsCanDance (**_**who gave me my first review orgasm. Hot damn woman, that review still gets me going**_**), amgglekim (**_**who is doing an awesome Halloween contest. Part of me says you should enter it because it will be fun. But another part says don't because I want to win the amazing grand prize. I wrote an entry for it-getting into the spirit of things-if you wanna check it out. More to follow on that too**_**), MelissaTheTwilightFan, octoberangyl, stregs, manyafandom, iheartlibros, I'mwiththevampires08 (**_**your smut detective is here to deliver on some much needed dirty eddie. You rock my bff**_**), antiaol, muggleinlove, hope4more (**_**no I didn't pull a Bella, though I've been known to do that. BTW, love that expression. And your review totally made my heart swell, awesome**_**), distorted realities, notthesun, A Rainbow in Grey Scale (**_**hope the schoolwork's not bogging you down**_**), yaya122, DarkMagic10, icefang7, Crystal Heart 2393, cheesy-brain10, doreansmomma, hamistasty, RayInn, drkvctry, bug2001, lovedforeternity, pippapear, Inneranomaly, ieatsourgrapes, stardust 1989, BITTENEV (**_**you so rock for all the fabulous reviews, and for those who don'tknow about your story Stitches and Scars yet, go read it, now**_**!), latuacantante4him, morethaniwanttobe, carmelinagunn (I **_**can't wait for MMM!**_**!!), sugarhigh123, Maddy, Bri285536, rockstar112, Sarkule, Becky2gt2bstr8, oxsvcullenox555, ILoveJasperWhitlock (**_**hope your life de-crazifies so you can send me some more chapters. I will be looking over your chapt 3 right after I post this**_**.), JennCullen87, wannabcullen, sunshine4047 (**_**thanks for all the long and interesting reviews. You know I'm glad you enjoy listening to allthe music I include**_**).**

**Which leads me to: sorry, I usually put which songs I included. I forgot. I don't have the time to list them because, as usual, ths a/n is getting out of control long. So if you want to know, pm me. I'm more than willing to list them. **

**I could definitely use some thoughts on this chapter. Parts I loved, parts I didn't so much. Please let me know. I'm not beyond begging.**

**Be warned: this Edward is different from the last chapter. Interpret that as you wish…things get a little dirty here.**

**And lastly (yes lastly) voting for Jayeliwood's sexy Edward contest is happening now. So if you love me, which I hope you do, go vote for either of my one shots. Geek squad's doing pretty well and I would just love to see it go past the first round. I know in the beginning I thought I wouldn't care about getting votes. But votes equal reviews kinda in my mind. And we all know what a review whore I am. So seriously, show some love my friends!**

EPOV

I woke up with a smile on my face, happy at how the previous day's events had unfolded. I rolled over in my bed, arm stretched out to take hold of the beauty sleeping next to me. But my hand touched only bare sheets, cool as if Bella had gotten up some time ago.

"Bella?" I called out to her, hoping she had merely gotten up to use the bathroom attached to my room. But there was no answer.

My lids slid open and my eyes began scanning my room for any trace of my love. Where is she? I got up and walked towards my door. Maybe she got hungry and went upstairs. I opened the door and heard the soft tinkling sound of random piano keys being struck. When I got closer to my piano, there Bella sat, a vision in my NU shirt. It was so large on her that the collar came down to the side and exposed the soft pale skin of her neck and shoulder.

She hadn't heard my approach from behind. As I got nearer, I saw her hunch her shoulders over as if in frustration as her fingers repetitively tapped the ivories beneath them. Bella was sitting as close to the piano as possible, bottom resting on the edge of the bench, probably trying to reach the pedals she didn't even know how to use. So as quiet as I could, I snuck up behind her, placing a hand on her shoulder as I sat behind her, pulling her on my lap.

"Bella." I whispered in her ear.

Her body, tense at first from surprise, instantly relaxed at the feel of my body against hers and my voice in her ear.

"Edward." She sighed out my name.

"What are you doing out here?"

"I couldn't sleep anymore but I didn't want to wake you."

"Why not? I can't think of a better way to wake up, lying next to the most beautiful woman I know." I leaned in to breathe her in. her heady scent made my mouth water, saliva pooling around my tongue. I buried my nose in her hair, content to stay there as long as she'd let me. "I love you in my clothes. It's so very sexy." I growled on her skin, making her tremble on top of me.

"Well…I'm sorry I didn't wake you. If I had known this would be your reaction…I just thought I'd come out here and entertain myself, try to figure out how you can play this thing." Her bottom lip puckered out as her fingers fumbled around, trying to pick out a familiar tune. I couldn't resist her full pouty lips. I leaned in and claimed them as mine. I didn't linger long though, knowing the awkward angle her neck was making was bound to hurt soon.

"Do you want me to teach you a song?" I placed a long kiss on the side of her neck.

"Sure." Her voice sounded controlled, as if holding back something.

"Here, put your hands on top of mine." I brought my arms out to either side of her, longing to stop there so they could wrap tightly against her body. But they stayed in front of me, resting on the familiar keys. Bella's soft, small hands lay on top of mine.

"I'm ready. Show me, please, how your fingers work their magic." I smiled at her words, remembering the "magic" my fingers created with her sweet tight pussy last night.

I moved my fingers slowly, tapping out a simple "Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star" melody. Bella's fingers did not move as easily, trying to stick close to mine at all costs. After several attempts, she moved them with mine smoothly.

"Do you think you can try it on your own?" I pulled my hands away, leaving Bella slightly panicked. "Don't worry love, you can do it."

"I love that you call me that." She pressed her back into my chest more, resting her head back on my shoulder.

"Call you what?"

"Love. You've been saying it for awhile now, even before you told me you loved me. I don't think you even realized you were saying it. But I love it." I could hear the smile in her voice. She was right. I hadn't realized that I was letting that term of endearment slip even before my declaration of love for her.

"Well, I'm glad you love it. Because I plan on calling you 'love' as often and as long as you'll let me." I could only hope that would be forever.

"Ok, I think I can try it on my own now." She replied with a slight flush to her beautiful cheeks.

She began to slowly move her fingers, imitating what I had just shown her. As she gained more and more confidence, I noticed her speed pick up and a huge toothy grin replace the look of concentration.

"You're a natural." I kissed the exposed skin of her shoulder, allowing my tongue to dart out and taste her skin. When I did, she faltered and missed a note.

"Edward! You made me mess up." She pouted again.

"My apologies love." But as she resumed her playing, I let my mouth wander again, nibbling at as much skin as I could reach. When that wasn't enough, I pulled down the collar of my shirt, exposing more of her heavenly collarbone. I bent my head forward, wanting to reach that spot on her that drove her crazy.

"Edward…Don't start something you can't finish."

"And who said I planned on stopping before I finished?"

Bella moaned loudly, a sound that made my dick jump in my pants. I loved hearing her noises. They drove me to the brink of insanity. As I continued sucking on her sweet flesh, my hands traveled down to her knees. I grabbed hold of her, pressing her back into me even harder. I let my hands trail up her heavenly legs, pulling up the shirt as I went. Inch by glorious inch her creamy thighs were exposed to me.

As I got nearer to her core, my hands moved inward to the place I so desperately wanted to touch. When my fingers made contact with her slippery wet folds, I gasped in surprise.

"No underwear this morning, Miss Swan?" She turned to look me in the eye.

"No. I didn't see a need for it actually." She was biting down on her full bottom lip, seducing me without even trying.

"And why did you see no need for your underwear?" One eyebrow raised of its own accord, giving her my sexiest smirk.

"Why would I wear it if we're just going to be busy fucking all morning?" She gave me a wicked smile as I groaned. It was such a turn on to hear her use the word fuck so casually. She had no idea what that one word did to me.

"You better not be teasing, love, because I'm ready to go right now." I lifted up off the bench slightly to emphasize my point.

"I know." Again that sexy smile twinkled in front of me. "Good thing you didn't bother covering up, or there'd be more clothes in the way." I looked down at myself and realized I was only wearing a pair of navy blue boxer briefs. She had a point. Less clothes meant more time spent having my way with Bella.

"Stand up, love." My voice was gruff, lust choking up my throat.

"Ok." Bella whispered, eyes fluttering closed. As she stood I kept hold of her shirt, pulling it up farther on her body, exposing her perfectly rounded ass to me. I wanted to grab hold, but first the shirt had to go. "Arms up." She raised them high above her head and I removed the oversized obstacle that kept her hidden from me. "Your ass Bella, god it's perfect." I let my hands come back to her cheeks, massaging them lightly before I drew my right hand back and slapped one cheek had.

"Ooh!" Bella let out a squeal.

"You like that Bella? You like it rough?" It sounded like she tried to speak but nothing came out, so she just nodded her head weakly. My left hand went from her ass to her head, finding her hair to tangle my fingers in. I tugged her hair, pulling her head back and tilting it to face me. "Answer me when I ask you a question. Now I said, do you like it rough?"

"Yes, Edward." She panted out. Her eyes were glazed over, completely lusting for this new side of me she'd never seen.

"That's what I thought." I smirked and smacked her ass again, noticing her cheek start to redden under my hand. "It makes you wet, doesn't it love? When I spank you?" I smacked again, then brought my hand between her thighs, already feeling her pussy juices running down her legs. "Fuck, you're dripping for me. Spread those legs for me baby." She did as I commanded, whimpering at my rough husky voice.

I could just make out the hint of her pink pussy lips from where I sat behind her. But I wanted a better view. My left hand trailed from her hair to her upper back, pushing down so she would be bent over and splayed before my eyes. Bella's hands came crashing down on the piano keys to steady herself. The discordant noise was the sweetest music I'd ever heard.

"That's it love. Mmm. You smell so good." I inhaled deeply, loving the smell of her arousal. "You taste even better though." I stood up and roughly shoved two fingers into her heated core, a loud moan emitting from Bella's throat. I pulled them out, marveling at the glistening juices coating them. I desperately wanted to suck them off, but brought my fingers in front of Bella's face. "I want you to taste yourself, see how fucking delicious you are." I thrust my fingers into her mouth before she could respond.

"Mmm…" Her eager tongue lapped her own juices from my fingers. God that sound.

I dropped to my knees, resting between her open legs. I looked up and saw heaven in those velvet pink folds.

"Bella, I'm going to fuck that pretty little cunt of yours with my tongue and you're going to scream my name." I smirked, then drove my tongue into her entrance.

"Oh my god Edward!"

I continued drilling her with my tongue. Her taste was so fucking delicious, like warm smooth honey drizzled on my tongue. And her moans were so fucking intense, like thunder booming overhead.

Her legs were shaking, about to give in on her from the fierceness of the orgasm about to hit her. Before she could buckle under the pressure, I wrapped an arm around each leg, hoisting her up a bit. The force of my movement slammed her tits into the keys, adding more beautiful noise to the symphony of her delicious sounds.

"I'm s-s-so cl-cl-close Edward."

I burrowed my face into her soft pussy, using my chin to rub against her clit.

"Edward! Fuck Edward!" Bella screamed out as she climaxed, juices running down my chin as I tried to drink it all down. When the flow slowed down and I had glutted on her taste sufficiently, I stood up behind her, allowing my erection to press into her back side.

"Are you ready for my cock Bella?" I didn't give her the chance to speak. I found her entrance and thrust into her awaiting pussy.

"Uhh, I love how tight you are." Bella's moans filled my ears, making me lose all sense of control. I had been gentle and sweet last night while making love to her. But now it was time to fuck her senseless. I wanted her to be sore by the time I was done with her.

"Fuck, Edward! Harder, please, harder!" I loved that she was begging for a pounding. I don't know how I didn't split her tight little body in two with the force of my thrusts.

I was getting close, but I wanted her to come again.

"Bella love, touch yourself. Reach down and play with that beautiful clit of yours." She quickly obeyed me, slipping one of her tiny hands between her legs to flick and squeeze her sensitive nub.

My hands, which were on her hips previously, traveled up to her perfect, luscious tits. I grabbed onto them, using them as handles to pull her body back onto me harder. Our bodies slammed into each other, skin slapping against skin making us both feverish for more. I felt my balls swing up with every thrust, hitting her hand. Bella's crafty hand pleasured herself while also grabbing onto my boys, squeezing them to add to the intense feelings I was already experiencing.

"More Edward. I need more!"

With those words, my fingers found her hardened nipples, pinching and twisting them. I could almost feel the pleasure pass through her body as she began trembling violently.

"Edward!" she screamed my name, cumming hard and coating me with that amazing cream of hers. Her tight walls clamped down on me, milking my cock and bringing me to the most intense release I'd ever felt.

"Shit." I groaned out, not wanting the feeling to end. I shook while I pumped into her faster, letting every last drop of my cum coat her insides.

When I pulled out, I sunk to the ground, completely exhausted, taking Bella with me.

"God Edward, that was…"

"Fucking fantastic?" I finished for her.

"Understatement of the century." She gave me a tired smile, the corners of her mouth having trouble lifting fully.

I heard the door at the top of the stairs open and footsteps on the stairs. I quickly stretched out to grab my shirt and underwear so Bella and I would at least be covered up. I could give a flying fuck who saw us like this, but I knew Bella would be embarrassed to be so exposed in front of my family.

"Dude, it reeks of sex down he…" Emmett trailed off as he took in our haggard appearance. "Oh I get it. It's ok for _you _to fuck on the piano but not me. So fucking not fair!" Emmett stormed away, clearly enraged.

"Well, it is _my_ piano after all." I gave Bella the crooked smile I knew she loved best.

"Why don't we take a nap between fuck sessions, hm?" Bella's smile grew as we headed back to my room.

--

BPOV

For the next week, Edward and I only emerged from our rooms for classes. We had a lot of catching up to do in our opinion. We had a few close calls with friends walking in on us. Luckily our loud cries always warned them of what we were up to before they got close enough to actually see what exactly we were doing.

Sex with Edward was beyond amazing. I had reached some sort of sexual ascension. When I was with Laurent, everything was so rushed and I wondered if I'd ever truly _enjoy_ it. I knew Edward would be different. He showed me it was not just enjoyable, but crave-able as well. And that's what I did, crave it, him. We were insatiable.

It wasn't just enjoying the earth shattering orgasms either. Something about the way he fit me, like God had cast us from the same mold. As if we weren't complete until he was inside me, filling my void. We became one being, our souls stretching through the boundaries our bodies created, enveloping each others' essence. I loved him with every cell of my body. I breathed him in like he was much needed oxygen to my brain. And it scared the shit out of me. I would be hopeless without him. and I felt like, inevitably, he'd move on to bigger and better things. And when he eventually left, Bella as I knew her now would no longer exist. There'd simply be an empty shell of me left.

But with each kiss and sweet embrace, every whispered "I love you," and all the shared touches of pleasure reassured my fearful heart, at least for now. I had mouthed the word "forever" to Edward outside his house on Thanksgiving and I meant it. even if he moved on, he'd hold my heart forever.

--

It was now December and it had turned bitterly cold. I had never experienced anything like Chicago's wind chill. How is it possible for it to feel like _negative_ degrees?! I thought that I would definitely miss Arizona at times like these. I was partially right. Walking to class was torture, especially since we were right off Lake Michigan. But there were times I embraced the cold. Like at night, when Edward and I cuddled together as close as possible to keep warm. or stripping down under the covers and enjoying the heated friction our bodies created while we made love to each other passionately.

Unfortunately December also meant finals. They loomed in the distance like dark heavy clouds. I was nervous for two reasons:

#1- I needed to ace my finals in order to receive a scholarship. I definitely did _not_ want to have to work next semester. It would already be hectic enough with my classes and Edward prepping for the MCATs. Work would just mean less time spent with Edward. I was not willing to allow that to happen.

#2-this was Edward's last semester at NU. He would be graduating in a few short weeks. I was anxious for what the next semester would mean for us. We had discussed it ad naseum. Edward wanted to make sure I knew that he'd be busy with studying for one of the most important tests he'd ever have to take. Our time together would be limited. I don't know how many times he had warned me that things would be different. I always thought I saw flashes of regret or worry when we had these kinds of conversations, but as quick as those flashes sparked, they extinguished to be replaced by love. Yes I was nervous, but I knew that I could handle not being with him as much as I would like if he at least still loved me. Our love could bridge the gaps in time we'd lose while apart. And if I was lucky enough o be with him through med school, my love would be the support system through the inevitable hard times.

Right now though, I needed to stay focused on what was in front of me, a shirtless smirking Edward.

"Ok Bella, answer this right and I'll lose…" He trailed off suggestively.

"The pants?" I knew I was pushing it.

"Nope! A shoe." A shoe? _A_ shoe?! Not even the pair? One measly shoe. Edward and I were playing a game as a study aid. For every right answer I got, Edward removed an article of clothing. For every wrong answer, Edward put an article of clothing back on.

"C'mon _Eddie_, don't be like that. You gotta give me more than that. I've been busting my ass with all these questions. I deserve some more eye candy."

"And what about me, huh? You think it's fair for you to be just sitting there completely covered up from my view? Don't you think there are parts of me that want to _bust_ right now?" I giggled hysterically at his admission. "Let's get serious now, please." Edward used his sternest voice with me but I saw the corners of his mouth twitch in the beginnings of a smile.

"Fine." I huffed but was really grateful for his help. It wasn't every day your gorgeous boyfriend helped you study for an anatomy test on the reproductive organs…

"Maybe we should start off with the different parts of the female external genitalia." He was just asking for trouble with this one. And I'm pretty sure he knew that.

"Ok…Well there's the labia majora, the labia minora, the clitoris…" Edward interrupted me.

"And where on the body would one find these parts?" Oh he definitely knew what he was doing here.

"Why don't I show you." I winked at him as I slowly took off my jeans and panties.

--

Finals were over and graduation day was upon us. I sat in the audience of family and friends, waiting for Edward to walk across the stage and receive his diploma, or at least the folder that would hold his diploma once it was sent to him. Carlisle, Esme, Emmett, Rose, Jasper, and Alice were all in attendance. Carlisle and Esme were busy snapping picture after picture, proud of their first graduate (though he was the second born, Emmett still on the long road to graduation). I noticed that Emmett brought a PSP to play on while he suffered through the speeches. Rose tried to take it away from him once when Emmett got a bit too excited and whooped out loud. But she gave up and eventually pulled out a compact and started meticulously reapplying makeup. Alice had brought a sketch pad, penciling out different clothes that she hoped to start on during the Christmas break. Jasper actually listened to the speaker. I, well I just stared at Edward. The black of his robes set off his beautifully pale skin. And his dazzling green eyes glittered from the spot lights over the graduates. Even at this distance he was hauntingly perfect. Every once and awhile he turned and met my stare, smiling at me crookedly and wiggling his eyebrows back and forth. I knew what he was thinking.

Celebratory sex.

As if we needed an excuse. But Edward was adamant. He insisted it was necessary to clarify our next time as a celebration of his graduating with honors. Plus he liked the idea of us running off somewhere secluded, leaving his family wondering where we were. Though I highly doubted anyone would wonder. it appears that everyone was well aware of our sexual habits, including is parents. Alice told me that Edward and I rivaled the sexual energy of Emmett and Rosalie. I blushed and Edward beamed. Apparently that's a compliment. But if I wasn't careful, Emmett would soon be challenging us to sexual duels; see who could have the most sex in a month, a week, a day. I'm pretty sure we'd win, but I didn't like the idea of turning our sex life into a competition.

"Edward Anthony Cullen."

Oh good, I had effectively let my mind wander through the boring crap that takes up most of graduation. Now to the good stuff; watching Edward strut his stuff across the stage. He really was too beautiful. He moved lithely across the stage, turning towards the row all of his family occupied to bow and smile. Emmett jumped to his feet and started shouting.

"You the man, Eddie!" Emmett did his "Frank the Tank" impersonation, causing the surrounding people to turn and glare. Esme looked a little embarrassed as she tried to tug Emmett's hulking frame back down to his seat.

When all the names had been called and we were all ushered outside to wait for our respective graduate, Edward came strolling over casually to our big group.

"Honey I'm so proud of you!" Esme wrapped her arms around Edward in a warm motherly embrace.

"Yes, well done son." Carlisle came over to pat his son on the back. "Now on to the hard part, eh?" He smiled at Edward and I noticed for the first time that it was a bit crooked. So that's where Edward got that.

"Yes…the _hard_ part." Edward let go of his mother and walked over to me, grinning wickedly. This boy had a one track mind. And apparently so did I, since I knew exactly what he was talking about.

"Not _that_ kind of hard Edward, ew!" Alice shook her head as if trying to clear away a mental image.

"Yeah, there's no time for that now. We need to head over to your house for the luncheon." Jasper threw Edward an apologetic smile, as if he felt bad that Edward would have to wait.

"I'm glad you're comfortable with me sweetie, but I think that's a bit too comfortable, don't you?" Esme rolled her eyes at Edward and somehow made it still sweet and motherly.

So it turns out everyone knew exactly what Edward was talking about.

"Let's just go, shall we?" Edward's face was frozen in a mask of indifference. I could tell he was disappointed above all else. He had talked of nothing but his celebratory sex since last night. He said it was the only reason he was even walking today.

Edward and I got into his Volvo and followed the small caravan to his house. He still looked upset. I hated seeing him so upset. So I did what I knew would cheer him up.

"I'm sorry we can't have celebratory sex Edward. But you know, there's always a celebratory blow job."

"Bella, we don't have time. Once we get inside the house, my parents will keep us busy getting everything ready for the luncheon."

"OK, maybe I should've clarified. There's always celebratory road head." I kept my eyes fixed to his face to see his reaction.

Edward's eyes almost popped out of his eye sockets. His eyes shifted over to my face, trying to see a hint of joking there. But I was completely serious. When Edward realized that, he broke out into a huge face splitting smile. He looked like the cat who caught the canary.

"Bella, as hot as that sounds, maybe it's not such a good idea. I mean, it can be dangerous." He sounded like he was trying to convince me I didn't need to do that for him, as if afraid I didn't really want to.

"Oh Edward, just shut up and drive."

"And what if someone sees us, you, doing that?"

"Tinted windows, remember?" I gave him a sly smile and slowly lowered my body towards his lower half." "Just enjoy it Edward."

I let my hands brush up against his already hard cock. The mere mention of road head had him ready to go. His pants looked painfully tight against his erection straining to get free. I helped him by slowly unzipping his pants. I pulled his cock out of his underwear, caressing it softly, feeling it twitch in my hand.

"Bella…" Edward was struggling to keep his eyes open, wanting to lose himself in the pleasure he was feeling. It was only going to get better and he needed to stay in control.

"Eyes open, or we turn your precious car into a Volvo pretzel." I said before lowering my open mouth onto his awaiting dick.

"Yessss." He hissed out the word as I began to slowly bob my head up and down his thick shaft.

There was just so much of him. i relaxed my jaw as I went down lower and lower on him, feeling his head hit the back of my throat. My lips tightened around his shaft, allowing my tongue to swirl around it, humming lightly.

"Oh god Bella." One of Edward's hands came to rest on the top of my head, slightly tugging at my hair.

I slid my mouth up and off of him, letting him fall out of my mouth. Edward's expression looked confused.

"You taste so yummy Edward. I want you to come in my mouth." I lowered myself back onto his cock, sucking harder and using one hand to stroke the part my mouth couldn't reach.

"F-f-fuck." Edward's hand began guiding my head up and down faster on him, helping set a steady pace.

I began humming louder, knowing the vibrations I was causing would feel good against his dick. Edward's hand left my head and reached over to grab onto my ass, squeezing it hard, then smacking it loudly.

"Yes, just like that. Your mouth…fucking…you fucking me with your mouth…god…"

As I came up his shaft, I let my teeth just barely graze over his sensitive head, spending time licking at the small opening on his tip. When I dipped in and tasted his pre cum I let out a throaty sound of pleasure.

"Mm, you do taste so good. Cum for me Edward." Again I bent down lower to suck him off.

Edward was beginning to tremble lightly, his grip on the steering wheel tightening so hard his knuckles had turned white. With my mouth sucking his cock and my right hand stroking, I let my left come to fondle his testicles. Edward was groaning and moaning my name. I felt his balls tighten to his body right before he exploded in my mouth. His hot cum shot out and slid down my throat where I greedily gulped it down. I had never swallowed before, never wishing to. But Edward had an amazing taste and I wanted to share everything with him, including his cum.

"Bella, you…didn't have to…swallow…that." Edward was struggling to get his words out between pants. I tucked Edward's not flaccid dick into his boxers and zipped him up

"Yes I did." I licked my lips, trying to savor the taste of Edward that still lingered there. "And you said _I _was delicious. Edward you are fucking delectable." I smiled at him then sat up to kiss him. "I love sucking your cock." Edward moaned slightly at my words and I felt him stiffen a bit in his pants. "Really, again?"

"Only for you my love. Only you can get me this hard."

We finished just in time, Edward pulling into his neighborhood as I sat back in my seat.

"Now maybe you should, um, try and smooth out your hair? Sorry." I didn't understand what he was trying to tell me so I looked at my appearance in the mirror. My hair was everywhere from his hand in it while I went down on him. It definitely screamed sex. Edward watched me and saw realization dawn on me. "I don't think my family needs to know what happened on the drive over here, do you?"

--

"Are you sure you have to go?" Edward gave me his famous Cullen pout. I would've caved and gave into him if it were possible.

"You know I do. I promised Charlie months ago that I would spend Christmas with him. He booked the flight months ago. I can't do that to him, he spent a lot of money on tickets for me." I shook my head, trying to come to terms with the fact that I'd be spending almost 2 weeks away from Edward, the longest time yet.

"I could always pay him back." Edward gave me a hopeful smile. He really should know better. It was hard enough having Charlie spend so much on me. I wouldn't let Edward spend even more, especially if it meant wasting perfectly good tickets.

"No Edward. I can't do that to Charlie. He's been looking forward to having me home. Plus, he's got no family. He'd be spending Christmas alone if I didn't come."

"Well then, I'll just come with you." I gaped at him.

"You can't do that!"

"And why not?" Edward looked hurt.

"Well for one, you should spend it with your family. And two, I don't know if I, I mean Charlie is ready to have my boyfriend over for Christmas." I hope Edward didn't hear my slip up. As much as I loved Edward, I had a hard time thinking of him meeting either of my parents. I'm sure Charlie would flip and do his whole "bad cop" routine to frighten Edward.

"Alright…" Edward sounded so dejected and I couldn't help but try and kiss away his frown.

"Don't worry Edward, I'll be here for New Year's. So we can party together like it's…2009." I smiled at him, hoping to reassure him that the two weeks would fly by, though I knew better. These would be the longest two weeks of my life. I had no idea how I was going to suffer through them. Maybe I could sleep most of it away.

"Call me, everyday, ok?" I don't know why he had to ask.

"More like every hour." I gave him a sheepish smile, slightly embarrassed by my obsessed admission.

"Good. I need to hear your voice that much. I'm going to miss you love. So much it's unbearable already." He leaned in and kissed me passionately, allowing his tongue to twist with mine sensuously. My hands flew up to his hair, gripping it, longing to pull him tighter to me. "I guess we should get you to your flight then. Wouldn't want to miss that."

At the airport, we said our goodbyes, the curbside checkers giving us dirty looks as we made out and groped each other openly. As if I cared what they thought about us.

"I'll miss you love, more than you know."

"Me too." I was starting to tear up. No, damnit! Don't cry here in front of Edward. Wait til you are alone on the plane. I didn't want to look pathetic.

Edward's lips came up to my eyes, kissing away the tears there. I heard his breath hitch slightly and noticed the smallest hint of moisture in his eyes

"Don't cry love. We'll be together sooner than you think." Edward tried to sound convincing, but I don't think he even believed himself. This time away would be equally hard on both of us.

"Ok." I turned to pick up my suitcase. "What about presents?" Edward looked dumbfounded at my question.

"You want to exchange Christmas presents? You?" Ok, I understood. I hated any kind of gifts. No wonder he was surprised. But Christmas was kind of different, especially when I had someone so important to buy a present for. But in all the craziness of finals, Edward's graduation, and me getting ready to leave, I had forgotten about getting something for Edward.

"Yeah, I just didn't have time to get you anything yet. Can we exchange them when I get back?" Edward broke out his crooked smile.

"I'm so glad to hear that. Because…I kind of already got you some things." Edward wrapped his arms around me and hugged me close to his body. "Of course, when you get back we'll exchange gifts." I smiled at him as he leaned down to kiss me again. The sound of someone clearing his throat made us break apart.

"Well I guess I should be going." I frowned and felt the tears well up in the corners of my eyes again. "I love you."

"I love you to Bella. Call me as soon as you land."

I turned around to walk into the warmth of the airport. Edward had walked back to his car and was almost in it when I thought of something.

"Did you say 'some _things_'?" Edward gave me a sly smile and winked at me as he opened his door.

"Goodbye my love. I'll miss you!" He stepped into his car, effectively ending the conversation and leaving me fuming. I had no issues with giving each other _a_ present. But multiple presents? Leave it to Edward to go all out. I just hope he didn't spend too much money.

After what felt like hours, I finally got through security. The hard part was trying to find my terminal. No one told me O'Hare was so confusing and so big. I wished Edward could be here to help me. But he wasn't. He was on his way back home, where I wanted to be too. It was a bit of a shock to realize that I viewed the Cullen's house as my home too. I felt more comfortable there than I ever did at Charlie's or even Renee's. I don't know how I was going to get through these next two weeks without the people I had grown to love most. And as I finally stepped through the gate and got settled into my seat, I realized that Edward was my life now. I belonged to him, body and soul.

**Ok, so I hope you all liked the chapter. I realize it was nowhere near as long as the last one. But honestly, how could I keep up with that kind of writing. **

**So I need your help: I have some ideas for Christmas presents for Bella and Edward but I was wondering what you guys thought would be good. So I'm asking for your ideas. Send them in reviews or PMs, either way, let me know. Like I said, I have some ideas but it's not set in stone. **

**so be kind, review and give me your thoughts,ideas, praise, critisism, etc. You know what would be amazing, if everyone that alerts this story also reviews it. If you did, i would update tomorrow just to appease you all and thank you. so hint hint. if you alert, review please! i'm dying to hear what you think!**


	22. Chapter 22

**A/n: not stephenie meyer, obviously**

**Boy am I glad that ff caught up to all the reviews and alerts it shorted me yesterday.**

**Just a couple shout outs: hope4more-oh man, your review totally rocked. Yes I want to pull an edward all night long. And jenNnN, haha still laughing at your review. As always, I'mwiththevampires08, you're my fave. That last chapter of STIS? Was beyond amazing. And I'm anxious for bss. Oh, and for those fans of carmelinagunns' story, IEWIS go check out the sequel More, more, more, or as I like to call it "Mmm" because that's what her story is, delicious. ILoveJasperWhitlock, it's almost October, will we be getting your story then? All of you should go check out my profile for a picture that the lovely grtchn sent me, one that reminded her of last chapter. It's very sexy and I think you should check it out, then thank her for the nice mental image. Thanks to all those who sent me ideas of gifts, I still am looking for more, so keep them coming. **

**I thought I'd be gracious in including this warning (bc I get reviews concerning this rather often and I've been meaning to do it for awhile): If you are reading this at work, in class, or even with your husband (or other family) be warned. Parts of this chapter may lead to heavy breathing, pupil dilation, and the need for cold showers (maybe).**

**And even though I didn't get reviews from all the many who alerted me (shame on you) I needed to post this. I may be kept from updating in the future (damn hand) and I want to get as much out to you as possible. Because you guys deserve it. you are all the best and I love you hard**

**Enjoy!:**

"Bells!" Charlie called out to me as I neared the baggage claim he was standing by. "It's so good to see you!" He walked over to me, arms outstretched, ready to embrace me, which was odd. Charlie was never one for showing much affection.

"Hi Dad, it's good to see you." I met his hug, surprised when my feet lifted ever so slightly off the floor. I giggled softly. "What's gotten into you?"

"What? Can't a father be excited to see his daughter?" He tried to play it off as nothing, but I saw his cheeks tint slightly with pink at my question. He knew as well as I did that he wasn't one for hugs.

"Charlie, is that Isabella? Oh my, it's been so long! She's all grown up, isn't she?" I heard a soft female's voice, just as a woman, around Charlie's age, with long thick black hair came into view.

"Dad, who…" I trailed off, confused as to who this woman was.

"Bella, you remember the Clearwaters, don't you?"

"Vaguely." I racked my brain, trying to remember who exactly the Clearwater family was and what they all looked like.

"I'm Sue. It's so nice to see you again. You've really grown into a beautiful woman." She gave me a very warm smile and hug while I blushed at her words. "Why don't I pull the car around while you help Bella get her luggage. Give you some time to catch up, ok?" She gave Charlie a knowing look and walked outside.

"Ok, seriously dad, what's going on?"

"Well, Harry, if you remember him, was my best friend. We went fishing all the time. Do you recall our fishing trips when you were young?" I thought back and memories of sitting in a small cramped boat for hours filled my head. Suddenly, flashes of a tan skinned man with raven hair came to me: Harry. "Well, he passed away a few years ago. Sue was his…wife. Over the years I've helped her out with everything from coping with the loss of her late husband, to fixing things around the house, to advice with her son. And she has really helped by bringing me over dinners when I was busy at the station. So anyway, we…" Charlie's voice left him, as if he was choking on the words he was about to say.

"You…what, are dating?" I couldn't help the smile that filled my face. Was Charlie really worried about what I would think of him dating someone? How could I be anything but ecstatic? How many years has he been pining over Renee when she so obviously was over him? This was some of the best news I'd heard all year, short of Edward loving me and all.

"Is that ok with you?" Charlie looked so worried I had to laugh. That response made him cock his eyebrow up in question.

"Dad! Of _course _I'm ok with you dating! I'm only mad that you waited to tell me. How long?!"

"Um, shortly after you went off to Northwestern…"

"What?! Why didn't you tell me sooner?" I questioned as we walked out the doors to Sue waiting for us in an old Toyota Camry.

"I guess I just wanted to make sure how…serious…things were before I told you." Charlie blushed.

"Aw Dad, you _love _her don't you?" I smiled hugely at him and he just blushed again, never denying it.

We reached the car and Charlie helped me load everything into the trunk. Sue got out to let Charlie drive.

"Do you want to sit up front with your dad?" Sue questioned, heading towards the back door.

"Oh no, go ahead and sit up front with him. I want to kind of relax in the back. Ya know, stretch out and stuff after the long flight. Besides, you should sit up there with him." I winked at her, hopefully conveying that I was happy the two of them were dating. Her answering smile told me she did.

The ride home was pleasant, with Sue doing most of the talking. Charlie was never much of a talker, but Sue seemed to bring out a whole new side of him. He seemed so much more vibrant, youthful and just all around happy. My heart ached with the joy I felt for my dad. He deserved so many good things in this life. And finally, better late than never, he was finding that.

"Oh, Bells I forgot to tell you, we'll have a full house for Christmas." I didn't quite understand what he meant. It was always just me and Charlie. I guess now Sue would be joining us too. Hardly what I'd consider a full house though. "Yeah, Sue's son will be joining us. His name's Seth. I think you'll get along with him, he's such a good kid. And then Billy Black and Jake will be coming too." Charlie's eyes crinkled as he grinned at me through the rearview mirror. "You do remember Billy and Jake don't you?"

"Of course." I rolled my eyes, which Charlie didn't see, luckily. "It's been a long time but I remember them." Jake and I had always gotten along really well, and hung out when I used to spend summers in Forks with Charlie. It's been close to 4 years since I'd seen him though, hopefully he was still the sweet little kid I knew back then.

My phone rang, disrupting me from my thoughts.

_Touch my body_

_Put me on the floor_

_Wrestle me around_

_Play with me some more_

What the hell? I pulled out my phone as quickly as possible and answered before even looking at who was calling, though I had a sinking suspicion I already knew who it was. Question is, when did he change my ringtone? God I hope my dad did not hear that, otherwise we would be having a very awkward conversation later.

"Hello?" I very nearly shouted into my phone.

"Bella! Are you ok?" Edward was sounding frantic.

"Yeah, why wouldn't I be?"

"I asked you to call me as soon as you landed, and that should've been an hour ago. I've been going crazy with worry over here!"

"And how!" I heard Emmett yell in the background, making me laugh.

"It's not funny Isabella. I've been going through all the worst case scenarios. Like your plane crashing, or some creep stealing you away once you landed. Or.."

"Calm down Edward. I'm fine. I'm sorry I didn't call sooner. I was a bit distracted with some rather big news." I tried to say the last part as quietly as I could. I didn't want to draw unnecessary attention to me. "Which I'll tell you about later." I added that part in, knowing he was about to ask me what it was.

"Oh, ok. Sorry for freaking out. I just miss you so much already and I was worried something bad happened. I love you." I heard a chorus of "awws" in the background. "Shut the fuck up guys. Give me some privacy, will you?" I could just imagine Edward's look of annoyance, probably pinching the bridge of nose as he spoke. The thought of him made me ache. I missed this boy hard.

"I know, me too." I wanted to say the words, but I was nervous my dad would hear the words "I love you" and have a heart attack behind the wheel and we'd all go careening off the side of the road. I decided to change subjects before Edward would call my lack of verbiage into question. "Mariah Carey, really?"

"I thought you'd like that. Don't pretend you're not silently agreeing with every word Miss Carey is singing while I call you." I could almost see his smug expression.

"That may be true, but it's not exactly…family friendly." I hope he understood.

"Bella, does your dad not know about us?"

"No." How could I explain that Charlie still saw me as a little 6 year old with my two front teeth missing? That if he found out some punk kid was robbing me of my virtue (ha, yeah right) he'd hop the next flight to Chicago and shoot Edward?

"Does this have anything to do with the fact that Charlie's a cop and carries a loaded weapon? Should I be nervous Bella?" He chuckled lightly, clearly not as worried as I was.

"Oh, be afraid. Be very afraid." With that he roared with laughter.

"Well why don't I let you go so you can spend some time with Charlie. Call me when you can ok?"

"Definitely, first chance I get." I waited for Edward to say goodbye, but was met with only silence.

"Bella, I need to hear you say it."

"Goodbye?"

"You know what I want to hear." He was smiling; I could hear it in his voice. I mumbled out the words as quickly as I could. "I'm sorry, I didn't quite catch that. What did you say?" Oh he was just asking for it.

"I love you." I said it a bit slower, but still quiet as a mouse, hoping the two other occupants in the car hadn't heard. I looked up and saw that Charlie was still staring straight ahead, vigilant in paying attention to the road. But when I turned to look at Sue, I saw her head move to face front, as if she had it turned slightly towards me just moments before. And I swear I saw a small smile playing on her face.

"I love you too Bella. Call me as soon as you can. Bye." I hung up with Edward, feeling slightly on edge. It wouldn't be so bad if Sue heard, as long as she didn't tell Charlie. I just wasn't ready to get into a heated discussion about my boyfriend.

We pulled up to Charlie's house, and I noticed nothing had changed. There were still the blue shutters around the windows, still the slightly chipped white siding, and the ever infamous cruiser parked in the driveway. I'd have to thank Sue later for making Charlie take her car instead of his.

"Home, sweet home." Charlie announced as he got out and began hauling my things inside.

Sue lingered back with me as I grabbed my carry on. Odd, I thought. It was drizzling, an all too common occurrence, and I didn't think she'd want to stand outside with me and get wet.

"So Bella, I'm assuming Charlie told you about the two of us?" Oh thank god, I had thought she'd be bringing up the whole phone conversation I had with Edward.

"Yeah he did. And I just wanted to tell you how happy I am for the two of you. My dad's been lonely for a long time and he deserves the happiness he's found with you. And seriously, I mean it, I've never seen him more alive before." Sue smiled at me and wrapped me in a tight hug.

"Thank you so much. You have no idea how happy I am to hear that." She gave me a quick kiss on the cheek and let me go, stepping back slightly. "And it seems you've found someone to make you just as happy, am I right?" I blanched at her comment.

"I don't know what you m-m-mean." I stammered out, hoping against all odds that I sounded convincing.

"Bella, it's so obvious you're in love. You look radiant. Whoever the guy is, he's extremely lucky." I gaped at her, completely unaware that I looked any different from my usual self. "Don't worry though, I won't tell Charlie anything. That's your job. You might want to tell him soon; he's going to notice you getting a lot of calls from a certain boy. I wouldn't worry about it though. You may find him much more understanding now that he is a fool in love too." She winked at me and motioned for me to head inside.

"Thank you." I whispered as we reached the door. I was beginning to really like Sue Clearwater.

--

"Hello gorgeous." Edward purred out the words, making me shiver and miss his touch terribly.

I had called Edward as soon as I had things settled in my room, but couldn't linger on the phone because Sue was making dinner for the three of us. It was a nice change, I'll admit. Whenever I stayed with Charlie I was the designated chef, not to mention maid, seeing as how Charlie could live in a state of total disarray and not give a damn.

But it was now late. Sue had said goodnight to Charlie and me and left. I wondered if she normally stayed the night but was leaving out of respect for me. either way, she was gone, which meant Edward and I could talk the night away. I texted Edward letting him know I'd be in the shower and would call him as soon as I was done. Apparently he was impatient though, because as I stepped into my room, my phone was about to vibrate off my dresser from his call.

"Hiya big boy." I tried to sound as sexy as possible, hoping to get a rise out of him.

"What are you doing right now?" I noticed Edward's voice was deeper and had that gravelly texture that I knew meant he was aroused.

"Oh, I just got out of the shower, but I can't decide what pajamas to wear, so I'm still just wrapped up in my towel." I heard Edward gasp on the other end and an evil smile played on my lips. "It's so cold it's making my nipples hard. I can see them poking through the thick cotton towel." If that didn't give him more of a mental picture, I don't know what would.

"Bella." He groaned out my name. "You have no idea how badly I wish I could see that right now."

"What, the idea of water dripping down my naked body excites you?"

"Yes, god yes it does." I giggled at his response. He was clearly turned on, his voice strained with lust.

"Well then, maybe I should just take this towel off…" I let my sentence hang there for a moment, "and put on some clothes then. I don't want to get you all worked up for nothing."

"Too late, love." He huffed the word out, clearly depressed at his current predicament.

"Well, you could always give yourself a hand if you needed to."

"Bella, do you know how long it's been since I've had to do that? Well, I guess technically not that long because it was pretty much a daily ritual for me before we had sex..but that's beside the point." My eyes widened at his confession. "I can't go back to that knowing what the real thing is like."

"If you needed some, ya know, encouragement, I would be happy to supply it." I blushed at what I was suggesting. I had never done anything like this before.

"Love, are you telling me you want to have _phone _sex with me?"

"Ugh, when you put it that way it sounds so seedy and scandalous."

"On the contrary, it sounds fucking amazing. I've never had phone sex before, but I'd love to try it with you." I felt my lower stomach start to tingle at his words.

"I don't really know what to do." My voice whispered out, suddenly fearful that Charlie would over hear what this conversation entailed.

"Well why don't you start by taking off that little towel of yours and get comfortable on the bed. I'll start, and you jump in when you're comfortable, ok?"

"O-o-ok." I stammered out. My heart was beating painfully at my chest, anxious for the dirty words Edward was about to speak to me.

"I need you to close your eyes love." My eyes slid shut willingly. "Now, I want you to start at your feet and work your way up, run your hands all along your legs. How do they feel?"

"Soft. And smooth. I just put lotion all over them."

"Good. I want you to imagine my hands there instead of yours. And I want you to do everything I say, no questions asked, got it?" he waited patiently for my answer while I worked up the nerve to agree to such a demand.

"Alright."

"Bella, you are so fucking hot. I love touching your naked body. If I were there right now, I'd run my hands up your legs, massage your inner thighs, and make you squirm for my touch."

"God Edward, tell me to touch myself. I can already feel how wet I am." I whimpered into the phone yet.

"Not yet love. I wouldn't touch you yet. I'd let my fingers just barely graze past your hot, wet sex, moving upwards past your stomach and to those glorious tits of yours." As he spoke, my hands moved up towards my breasts, phone secured between my ear and shoulder.

"I bet your tits look so amazing, nipples hard from my touch and the anticipation of what's to come. I'd take your nipples in between my fingers and twist them hard, making you scream out in pleasure." I did as he said, and let out a loud moan. "Shh, love. Not so loud or your father may come in seeing what the disturbance is all about. We can't have him interrupt us, now can we?"

"No" I breathed out.

"Then, where were we? Oh yes, so I'm twisting those beautiful hard nubs of yours, pulling at them and making them pucker with pleasure." I let out small whimpers as I acted out the scene. "And ever so slowly I'd move my mouth down to lick and suck on your tits, alternating between the two so they both get the attention they deserve." I hesitated.

"I can't do that."

"Yes you can love. Those tits of yours are big enough, luscious enough for you to pull them up to your own hot mouth and suck on. I want you to do that to yourself because that's what I'd do if I was there." Edward's breathing was becoming more labored and I heard a rustle of fabric on his end, probably him getting undressed.

"Um..ok, I guess I can try it."

I very hesitantly took my left breast in my hand, pushing it up as high as possible as I brought my mouth down in an attempt to meet it. Edward was right, it was big enough and reached my awaiting lips easily. Behind my lids I envisioned Edward's mouth coming down to suck on me as my lips made contact with my pert nipple. I moaned at the feeling. My tongue began to swirl around, flicking the hardened nub. I could hear myself making different noises of pleasure as I tasted myself, licking myself for Edward.

"Bella, oh god, those noises are so fucking incredible. If I were there with you, I'd bite down on your nipple, hard. Do it Bella."

This time I didn't hesitate, biting down hard on myself. The pain pulsed through my body, creating a purely delicious sensation throughout. A part of me could hardly believe I was doing this. But the other part was reveling in the utter freedom I felt at pleasuring my own body, knowing that Edward was enjoying this just as much as me. I let go of my nipple, wanting to take this further.

"Edward, do you know what I would do if I was there with you right now?" Edward's rapid breathing hitched. "I'd slip your pants and underwear down, letting your hard cock spring to attention, enjoying the release from its prison."

"Uh huh."

"Then I'd grip onto your cock with my hand, tightly, letting it slide slowly up and down. I'd tease you until you begged me to go faster, give you more…Beg me for it Edward."

"Please Bella, faster. Pump me faster." I can't believe I had Edward on the phone, begging me for more. I loved this control. "If you go faster, I'll stop teasing you too. Don't you want me to _touch_ you? Don't you want to feel my fingers stroke at your tight pussy walls?" God he knew me too well. All it took was the thought of him touching me to switch around the roles.

"Yes, yes I want that. You know what else I want? To make you come. But since I can't wrap my tight warm lips around your cock, I'd let my hot spit coat every inch of it, making it slippery under my touch. You'd like that, wouldn't you?"

"Oh fuck yes. And while you stroke me hard and fast, I'd slip two finger into your wet pussy, pumping in and out while you thrust into my touch. Does that feel good Bella?"

"Mmhmm." It was the only thing I could say as I pleasured myself to Edward's words

"Then, just when you thought you couldn't take anymore, I'd start circling my thumb around your clit, swollen from all the pleasure I'm giving you."

"Oh god Edward." I had to muffle my words and moans in my pillow, afraid of Charlie overhearing me reach my climax. "More Edward, faster, harder." I meant it for both of us, wanting us to orgasm together.

"Shit Bella, yes, faster, and more and uhhh." Edward's voice shuddered as he came hard. The sound of him hitting his release sent me over the edge, cumming onto my fingers, juices dripping down my thighs.

"Ohh Edward!" I bit down on the pillow stifling my screams.

The two of us sat on the phone, panting while we came down from our highs.

"Bella, do you know how amazing you are? I've never, ever experienced anything like that. God I love you so fucking much."

"Mmm Edward. I love you too." I yawned, tired from what had just happened.

"Love, go to sleep. I'll call you in the morning ok?"

"No Edward, I want to talk to you longer." My words were slurred together, a sure sign that I was minutes away from sleep.

"You need your rest, love. Save some energy for tomorrow's repeat performance ok?" He laughed, a sweet lullaby to my ears. I giggled at his comment, knowing he was probably already getting excited again at the idea of more phone sex.

"K, I just need to put on some pajamas." I began digging through my suitcase, the one I was supposed to unpack and put away. So I'm a procrastinator…I know.

"I packed something special for you to wear."

"Oh really?" He intrigued me.

I began rummaging through my suitcase, searching for something Edward might have packed for me. I expected to find some kind of lingerie, but after pulling out everything inside, I discovered the grey NU shirt I had worn the morning of Edward's and I's rather musical performance. I held the shirt up to me and breathed in deeply, taking in his amazing scent. "Ahh." It was almost refreshing to breath it in. I slipped it on, not needing to put on anything else since the shirt came to my knees. I had to fight hard not to burrow my nose into it right then and there. I'd wait til I was off the phone with Edward first, then I'd fall asleep with my nose pressed against the fabric.

"I see you found it."

"Yes thank you."

"I expect you to wear that every night Isabella, thinking of me. Goodnight, I love you." His voice was softer, lulling me to sleep again.

"Ok. G'night Edward. I love you." Again, Edward laughed at my voice, thick with sleep.

"Sweet dreams, I know mine will be, filled with you."

--

"Bells, it's time to wake up!" Charlie pounded on my door, effectively waking me from an amazing dream about Edward and me.

"Ugh, give me another half hour dad!" I rolled over, pulling my comforter over my head. Being in Forks had at least one upside: hardly any sun to disrupt me from sleep.

"Not a chance. We have a busy day today. We need to go tree hunting!"

Tree hunting? Seriously, I know Sue was bringing out this new side of my dad, but this was beyond strange. Who was this man and what did he do with my father? I had never heard Charlie sound so excited about Christmas. Granted, he didn't usually have anyone to spend it with so this was probably all new to him. I'm betting he wanted to make up for past holidays that weren't exactly joyous for him.

"Fine. Let me get ready."

"Ok, but hurry!" I heard Charlie's footsteps pound down the stairs.

I had to act quickly, shower and get ready at top speed so I'd have plenty of time to talk to Edward this morning. After the quickest shower of my life, I threw on the first things my hands touched: old jeans and an oversized hoodie. It didn't really matter what I wore. Alice wasn't here to go fashion Nazi on me, and I would be spending my day trudging through the woods cutting down a tree. Once I threw my hair back in a messy bun, I pulled out my phone and dialed Edward.

"Hello sexy." I sighed the moment I heard his velvety voice.

"I missed you last night. Good thing I was so tired otherwise I'd never have fallen asleep. It's not as comfortable without your arms wrapped around me." I was almost embarrassed at how honest and open I was being this morning.

"Tell me about it. I woke up searching for you until I realized you weren't there. You wouldn't believe how sad it made me. I even pouted for a whole minute."

"You poor baby." I mocked which brought a soft chuckle from his glorious lips.

"So what's on the agenda today love?"

"Hunting down the perfect Christmas tree. And you?"

"Huh, the same actually. Alice is breathing down all our throats, not wanting to 'ruin' Christmas." That made me giggle, imagining Alice storming through the big Cullen house, shouting out demands.

I stayed on the phone until I could hear Charlie shouting from the bottom of the stairs, wondering what was taking so long.

"Gotta go Edward, everyone's waiting for me. I love you."

"I love you too. I can't wait for tonight." I knew Edward was smirking on his end of the phone as we hung up.

--

We didn't have to drive long until we came to a part of land thick with trees. Charlie, Sue and I began the short hike to a dense patch of beautiful evergreens. Apparently Sue's son Seth was meeting us there, along with some of his friends from the reservation. We came upon 4 hulking figures, backs to us, as they surveyed the land around them. The smallest of the boys must've heard our approach because he turned around, and upon seeing us, shouted out.

"Mom! Charlie!" He ran over to us to hug both of them. When he saw me, he stopped short, and just stared. His gaze was a little unnerving. Did I have something on my face?

"Um, hi. I'm Bella." I extended my hand out to greet him with a shake. He looked at my hand for a minute before pulling me into a tight hug.

"Hi! I'm Seth. It's nice to meet you…again! Seeing how I don't really remember the first time we met." He was very warm, literally, and a sweet boy. Charlie was right, I would like him.

"Bella?" the tallest of the four guys turned around to face me. He must have stood at close to 7 feet. His russet skin was beautiful and he had long silky black hair tied back into a low ponytail. His eyes were big and so dark they were almost black. But they were instantly recognizable. They had a certain spark in them that I remembered from when I was younger. But this was not the boy I was expecting to see. This was a man. And what a man. Is it possible to grow that much?

"Jake?! Oh my god, you're huge!"

"That's what she said." One of the others said, making the other laugh along with him. I blushed at the blatant sexual innuendo. Apparently this was the Emmett of the group.

"Shut up Quil." Jake shot the tan version of Emmett, now known as Quil, a death glare. I noticed Jake was blushing slightly at Quil's words.

"Jake, seriously, what have you been eating? You're practically a giant!"

"Only compared to you, short stuff." He walked over and pulled me into a bone crushing hug. He lifted me at least a foot off the ground. I heard Charlie chuckle lightly, clearly pleased with the two of us. "it's been a long time. How are things going?" He set me down on the ground and we started walking towards a cluster of trees. I turned and realized that we were by ourselves, the rest of the group going their separate ways.

"Really good. I like it at Northwestern."

"Oh yeah? That's good. I bet you're having a blast out there. I'm sure it's more exciting that boring old Forks." He kind of grimaced at that statement, making me giggle.

"Well…ok, I'm not going to lie to you. It is way more exciting. But Forks has its charm too." I tried to give him a reassuring smile. I know Jake always hated feeling like he was trapped in such a small town setting.

"Like what?" His grimace was a full blown frown by now.

"Um..well you're here!" I said the words before I realized the implications.

"So you think I'm charming huh?"

Shit.

"Bells! Jake! We've found it!"

Thank god for Charlie. I didn't know how I'd get out of that one.

Jake and I walked over to the rest of the group, all huddled around the most massive tree I'd seen.

"Dad, is that even going to fit in the house?" I had my doubts.

"Sure, sure." Charlie sounded so confident. Sure it would fit…if we cut a hole in the roof.

Three miserable and cold hours later, the tree was down and strapped securely to the top of Embry's large Jeep. Seth joined Charlie, Sue, and me in the cruiser as we drove behind, making sure the tree stayed put. We all drove at a snail's pace, afraid that hitting any kind of bump at high speed would send the giant tree flying, free to cause total destruction wherever it landed. I laughed thinking about how Edward would react to our slow speed. I'm sure if the Cullens were here, the tree would be strapped to Emmett's hummer, all of them cruising down the highway towards their house.

My phone buzzed in my pocket. I pulled it out and saw a text awaiting me from Edward. He had great timing, as if he knew I was thinking about him.

_Hey love, hope you're not lost in the woods._

_Miss me yet? _

_-E_

I quickly replied.

_Definitely._

_It's too cold here without you._

_-B_

_If I were there I could keep you warm._

_Would you like to know how?_

_-E_

"Who're you texting?" Seth broke me from my Edward spell, craning his neck to sneak a peek at my phone. I snapped my phone shut, not needing Seth to start reading my texts aloud, something I wouldn't put past him.

"Shh." I didn't need to be having this conversation right now.

"Ooh, Bella do you have a boyfriend?" Seth was sing songing the words at me.

"I said, shh."

"What?!" Charlie cut in. If he hadn't been driving, I know his neck would've snapped at the force of his head turning to look at me.

"Charlie…" Sue put a hand on Charlie's right leg, a calming gesture. It worked. His body physically eased up at her touch. Wow, this woman had some strong powers on my father.

"Um…well yes actually, I do. His name is Edward." I held my breath, waiting for Charlie's reaction.

"Oh."

That was it?

"Um, ok then." I turned to look out the window, confused at Charlie's lack of reaction. Was he just waiting til we were alone to talk about this? I had a sinking suspicion he was just biding his time. I knew he'd inevitable approach me and give me his whole "boys only have one thing on their mind" speech.

We pulled into the driveway, right next to Embry's jeep. The three guys inside had already started to untie the tree. Charlie and Seth joined in, carefully trying to slide the tree off the car and lift it away towards the front door. Sue and I just stood back and gave helpful directions to the men. Jake stood in the front, carrying the end of the trunk and thus most of the weight, and was about to open the door when I heard a soft thump.

"Ow, what the fu…"

"Language Jacob." Charlie growled out.

"Yeah..uh sorry. I just stubbed my toe on something sitting on your porch."

Well that piqued my interest. I ran forward, squeezing in front of Jake to find out what he had hit. I couldn't tell at first, branches obstructing my view of the object. So I leaned down and picked the item up. It was pretty heavy. I opened the front door and almost fell forward, catching myself at the last second before I hit the ground. When I had steadied myself sufficiently, I looked down and saw the item was a package addressed to me. Upon further inspection I noticed the return address.

"Edward Cullen." I muttered under my breath.

--

I had to wait until the tree had been set up. It was a miracle it fit. Though all the pine needles and sap covering the house was not pleasant to clean up. I also had to sit through everyone drinking hot chocolate and eating coffee cake. I was astounded at how the Quilute guys could pack away the food. I was beginning to think they'd never leave, until Billy called the house wondering when Jake would be back.

"Well Bella, it was fun today. I'll be seeing you around, right?" He flashed me a smile, teeth almost brilliantly white set against his dark skin.

"Yeah of course."

He gave me a quick but tight hug and walked out the door, Quil and Embry following behind. Once the door shut, I all but ran up the stairs shouting my goodnights, anxious to open the package that was sitting on my bed.

"Edward Cullen, what have you done?" I wondered aloud.

I ripped open the package and saw two items wrapped in Christmas paper. The top one had a note that read "Do not open until Christmas, when you're alone." What could that mean? I lifted it out of the box. It didn't feel very heavy. I shook it, wondering if any noise would give it away. But there was nothing, no rattle or anything. I set it aside on my bed, in a hurry to get a look at the other one beneath.

This present also had a note on it. But its message was much different. "Open me now" it read. Well, Edward didn't have to tell me twice. I took it out of the package and noticed that it was significantly heavier than the first present. I didn't need to shake this one, not having to wait til Christmas to discover my surprise.

I tore through the paper, slightly shaking with nerves. What could he possibly be sending me? Didn't we say we'd wait until I came back to exchange gifts? Once I got the paper off I stared, numb with wonder at what Edward had gotten me.

I cannot believe he bought this for me. I was going to kill Edward Cullen.

**So what do you all think? I got this update out for you in record time! I know it's a bit shorter than usual, but like I said, I wanted and needed to get this out to you. You are all favorites!**

**I hoped you enjoyed the phone sex. i'm not too sure how I did with that, having never really done it myself to be honest. So hopefully that came across as hot and steamy as Edward and Bella thought it was. Also, the last part of the chapt was not especially pleasing to me. but I had a hard time going about it any differently. Review please and let me know what's up. Hopefully this time won't be so frickin stupid and I'll get all the reviews and pms and alerts that all of you lovely people send my way.**


	23. Chapter 23

**a/n: not smeyer, obviously**

**first and foremost, I wanted to thank all of you who voted for my one shot "geek squad to the rescue" for jayeliwood's sexy Edward contest. Because of you all, I have made it past round one! Whoop! So now, I will just pitifully beg you to vote for me during the final round which I believe starts October 10****th****? Check out jay's profile or the sexy Edward c2 for details. Votes are like reviews, both of which are just what a review whore like me wants and craves!**

**Shout outs to: **_**hamistasty**_** who's mom is apparently reading this now too? Oh good gracious! What a crazy turn of events!, **_**ILoveJasperWhitlock**_** who has just put out a story which I am beta-ing called **_**More Than Just Friends**_**. Check it out, it's quite good! And I'm sure she'll turn into a review whore too, so feed her need as well, **_**Carmelinagunn**_** who I of course love because she is amazing, **_**jenniferalycexo**_** who had a bad day and said that my story made it a bit better: hope things are happier for you, **_**hermionebrowneyes**_** for the fab review (I just love long ones!), **_**hope4more**_** who wants to nickname me hot and steamy-I'll totally accept that title!, **_**I'mwiththevampires08**_** who is my total bff and co queen-I love you hard! The last bit of this chapter is for you friend, **_**BITTENEV**_** who can appreciate the hotness, **_**MelissatheTwilightFan**_** because she made me laugh with her exclamation of holy f-ing monkey balls, **_**psychodancechick89**_** who should never ever feel pervy for loving all things dirty eddie!, **_**fiberkitty**_** who declared last chapter to have the best phone sex she'd seen (and as a side note, check out her story **_**The Tie That Binds**_**, interesting stuff people, I love it), **_**amgglekim**_** who I love chatting with about all things ff and is so another favorite, **_**Loverofallthingsliterary**_** for the amazingly kind words on my take of smeyer's characters. Love you for it.**

**And last but not least, thanks to all you smutty minds who thought Bella's gift was a vibrator. I totally did not even think of that. You guys need to get your minds out of the gutters! LOL**

**Another chapter for your eager eyes, super late since I'll be busy with family all weekend long:**

* * *

"Edward. Anthony. Cullen. You are in major trouble!" I yelled into the phone before Edward even had the chance to say hello. "You are so lucky that I am several hundred miles away, otherwise I'd kick that lovely little ass of yours so hard you wouldn't be able to sit for weeks." I was huffing and puffing from the anger I felt.

"I assume you received my package?" His voice held no sound of remorse.

"You assume correctly. What were you thinking? I can't accept something this nice and expensive. We weren't supposed to exchange gifts til I got back. And how on earth am I supposed to get you something that even compares to this?!"

"Love, calm down. It's really more of a gift I bought for myself. You just need to have it in your possession for it to do any good."

"That doesn't make any sense Edward."

"Sure it does. Open it up and turn it on. I've already set everything up so you're all set to go." My mind was doing back flips in my head, trying to figure out what the hell he could be talking about.

I looked down at my lap, the perfect and new Macbook Pro sitting there. It was sleek and beautiful and I felt bad for secretly loving it. These things are expensive, even at the most basic level. And I'm sure Edward got it with all the upgrades possible, knowing his over the top lifestyle. After getting everything out of the packaging and finally hitting the power button, I spoke.

"Edward. You really shouldn't have done this. How much did it cost you? I can't keep this. It's too much."

"Stop Bella, I told you I really got it for me." I was about to say something when he interrupted me. "Just be patient. You'll see what I mean in a minute."

The laptop finished booting up and all of a sudden a window popped up on the screen. I looked on, only to see a pair of brilliant green eyes staring back at me. I almost fell off my bed at the shock.

"Edward?" I saw a smile crack on that glorious face of his and I felt mine mirror him. "What the.."

"Webcam love." I watched as Edward's finger pointed up towards the top of the laptop. I looked up and saw the small lens built into it. I watched on as Edward hung up his phone.

"Wait! How will I hear you?" I over enunciated the word, hoping he could read my lips.

"There's also a mic Bella." He bit his lower lip, stifling back a laugh.

"Oh." I blushed, feeling stupid for not realizing that earlier. "So how is this really a present for yourself?"

"Well, I was dying on the inside every day I went without seeing your heavenly face, love. I had to figure out a way to see you whenever possible. And since I figured you wouldn't like it if I kept buying plane tickets back and forth to see you for the next week and a half, I went with the laptop."

"Well aren't you quite thrifty." I rolled my eyes, forgetting that Edward could see me now.

"Hey! I saw that." He scowled at me for a half a second then his face smoothed out and looked thoughtful.

"What are you thinking?"

Edward's green pools stared at me intensely and one corner of his luscious mouth turned up into the crooked smile that sent my heart fluttering.

"You're so beautiful, did you know that? Even in your ultra pixelated form. I just…I mean, I'm so in love with you. I can't get over it. You take my breath away."

He was wrong. He was the one who took my breath away. At his words I was without breath. How is it possible that I could fall even more in love with him?

"Bella? Are you ok?" Edward was starting to look concerned, probably at my lack of response.

"I'm more than ok. I miss you Edward. Not being with you is too hard for me. I love you too much."

"Is that even possible, to love someone too much? I don't think so. It's never enough for me." Edward winked at me and I longed to be able to reach out through the laptop screen and touch him

"Maybe you should've just bought those plane tickets. I need you here with me."

"It's not too late love. I can buy some tickets and be there tomorrow." Edward's grin widened as he got excited at the prospect. He actually pulled out his phone and wallet, intent on purchasing outrageously expensive tickets to Seattle.

"Wait! I was joking! There is no way I'm letting you spend even more money on me. And don't try to tell me it would be for you. I'm the one who suggested it…as a joke."

"Bella." He was too adorable when he whined.

"Bella?" I heard Charlie call my name as he knocked on the door.

"Yeah dad?"

"Is there someone there with you?"

Shit.

"No! Just on the phone!"

"Oh, ok. Well, I just wanted to say goodnight."

"K, goodnight Dad!"

"Oh and Bells? How about you and me spend some time together, just the two of us, tomorrow. We can catch up on things." Hm. 'Catching up on things' was definitely not one of Charlie's usual euphemisms.

"Sure, sure. Sounds good." I heard Charlie's retreating footsteps as he headed towards his room. The door creaking closed told me he was out of hearing range.

"You still haven't told him about me?" Edward sounded genuinely hurt.

"I did too…It was just kind of weird. He didn't really react to the news."

I skimmed through the events of Seth taunting me about my texts and how Charlie just gave a quick "ok" in response. To my surprise, Edward started laughing at me, eyes twinkling with delight.

"What's so funny?

"Oh man Bella, prepare yourself for tomorrow. Your catching up time will be spent with your dad interrogating you about me." I groaned, knowing Edward was right. He was always right, damnit. "Maybe I should say goodnight, give you plenty of rest for tomorrow's little chat." Edward's crooked smile filled the laptop screne.

"Oh, ok." I didn't want to say goodbye but it was getting late and who knew how long I'd be suffering through Charlie's questions. "I love you Edward."

"I love you too, my Bella." I smiled at his use of the possessive. I was _his_ and I liked it, a lot.

--

"So, Isabella…" Oh no, he's calling me by my full name. That is never a good sign. "You're dating someone?"

"Uh, yeah I am."

Charlie eyed me for a moment, as if expecting more of an answer. Honestly, what more did he want from me? _Yeah dad, I am dating someone. He's incredibly gorgeous and is amazing in bed. You should see him, he's huge! _This was Charlie here, not my bff or something.

"Well…details?" I couldn't help the giggle that escaped my mouth. He reminded me of Alice in this moment.

"Really dad?" I put my hand to my mouth, covering it to hold off the hysterical laughter building up. Maybe he was spending too much time with Sue. She seemed to be rubbing off on him.

"Did that sound weird? Sorry. I just want to know more about the boy who is dating my little girl." I noticed Charlie's eyes dull a bit, looking slightly emotional.

"Dad, I'm not a little girl anymore. And Edward is not a boy. He's 21." Charlie, who had been taking a sip of coffee at that moment, spit it out at the mention of Edward's age.

"He's 21?" I could see and hear him spluttering on words and coffee still in his mouth, though most had found its way on the kitchen table.

"Yeah, do you have a problem with that?" I crossed my arms in front of me, eyes narrowing slightly in preparation for battle mode.

"Bella, don't you know older men mean trouble? He's probably only interested in one thing. And I'm not about to let some little punk take that away from…"

"Are you insinuating that I am stupid enough to date a guy who only wants to use me for sex?" I cringed for a moment, realizing that I had in fact been stupid enough to date a guy who only wanted me for sex. Damn that Laurent. But I was also only 14 when we had started dating. Hardly smart enough and more than naïve enough to realize that not everyone had good intentions and pure hearts.

"No…I just meant…" Charlie was spluttering again. Thankfully the coffee was far from his mouth. I don't think I could handle another spray of it. I could only glare at him. "It's just that you're my only child, my daughter, and I don't want to think of you with some man who does not treat you with all the love and respect you deserve. I don't think I could stop myself from tracking this Edward person down if he hurts you. Plus, if I'm being completely honest, I don't like the idea of you dating _anybody._ That just means that you really are an adult and won't be my girl anymore. You'll be someone else's. I just haven't had enough time with you. I'm not done being your dad."

My heart ached at his words. I had never heard Charlie talk like this. Never one to dole out the lovey dovey words, Charlie just showed his love through simple everyday actions, like replacing my windshield wipers every summer so I could see while driving through the buckets of water falling from the sky. Charlie had a point though. We were never able to spend the time together we deserved. Renee's and his separation saw to that. He tried to make up for it as much as possible during the summer visits, but it just wasn't the same as having him there year round.

"Dad, don't worry. You will always be my dad, there's no replacing you in my life. There's no man who can change that, I hope you know that." I smiled and stood up to hug him. His arms were heavy and warm around me and I suddenly felt so small and little again. "And you shouldn't worry about Edward. He's a good man. He treats me with so much love and respect, he'd never do anything to take advantage of me. trust me."

"Did you say 'love'?" Charlie pulled away to look me in the eyes. I tried to hide it, but I let a sheepish grin pull at my lips.

"I love him dad. A lot." Charlie's grip around me tightened ever so slightly as he took in my confession.

"And what about him?"

"Edward loves me too. We are…very much in love." It was a bit odd admitting it all to my dad, but it also felt good, letting him know how serious my relationship was.

"Bella, I'm in love with Sue." Charlie took a deep breath. That sentence probably took a lot of effort to speak aloud.

"I know."

"You do? How?"

"Dad, it's pretty obvious. It's written so plainly on your face. I've never seen you happier."

All of a sudden Sue's words came back to me. She had been able to tell I was in love by looking at me too. Love really does change someone, transform them into the potential their other half already saw. It was an amazing realization.

"Oh…" Charlie cracked a reluctant smile, then pulled me into a tighter hug. I'm sure he felt relieved to have finally told me himself. "Bella, I wasn't joking earlier." I didn't follow his thought process. To what was he referring?

"If he hurts you, I _will_ hunt him down. If he makes you cry, and I mean ever Isabella, I will make him cry too."

Charlie's voice was menacing and the look on his face almost frightened me. I had never seen him like this. but now I realized how he could do his job so effectively. If that's how he looked at criminals, I'd be wary of breaking the law too.

--

_Touch my body_

_  
Put me on the floor_

_  
Wrestle me around_

_  
Play with me some more_

"Edward!" I squealed into the phone, excited to talk to him after the conversation with Charlie.

"Hello my sexy love. Care to join me on the laptop?"

"Sure!" I ran to the desk in my room, turning on the macbook and sitting down to wait while it booted up.

Finally, after waiting for hours, though not really since it was actually an incredibly fast machine, I was looking at the most beautiful man ever created. I sighed, happy to see his face; every chiseled line of his jaw and nose, the smooth lips and bright lash lined eyes. Perfection.

I heard Edward sigh too as we hung up the phones, not needing them anymore. He stared at me without blinking, drinking me up with those eyes. His gaze warmed me up, creating that familiar tingling sensation in my lower stomach. God, he could turn me on just by staring at me.

"How did the talk go?" He sounded slightly worried and I stared in amusement as his eyebrows furrowed just a bit.

"Oh fine. I just thought I should issue the warning that Charlie will come looking for you if you ever hurt me." I was joking, making light of Charlie's rather frightening threat.

"I guess I'll just have to never hurt you then."

Edward's voice was so sincere that my heart almost stopped. Could Edward actually keep that kind of a promise? No. I don't think he fully realized what that promise meant. Because leaving me at all would be pain beyond measure. And it's not like he would be staying with me for the rest of our lives.

"What are you thinking love?"

"Oh, just thinking about us being together." It wasn't technically a lie, right?

"Together? How?" He smirked at me and I saw his eyes darken with lust. That boy's mind was apparently always in the gutter.

"Edward, not like that! I'm trying not to think of things that cannot come to pass right now. It just leaves me frustrated." I shook my head, trying to rid images of a very naked and sweaty Edward hovering above me. Oh god…

"But love, you know there is a way. All we have to do is…" But what we had to do I'd never know because just then my door swung open.

"Bella!" Jake came bounding into the room, not a care in the world that he had entered without knocking. For god's sake, I might have been naked in here. Naked…Edward…No more dirty thoughts.

"Bella?" Edward's eyes widened and I saw one corner of his mouth turn down into a rather unpleasant grimace.

"Um." It was all I could say. I was sandwiched between two men, though one wasn't actually there. "Jake, meet Edward. Edward, meet Jake."

Edward just glared at Jake, clearly jealous that he was in the room when Edward so wanted to be."

"Hey man, you one of Bella's friends from Northwestern?" Jake came to stand beside me, resting a hand on my shoulder. I blushed, slightly uncomfortable with Jake's lack of personal boundaries. What surprised me was the noise coming from the laptop. It sounded like a growl.

"_Boy_friend actually."

"Oh." Jake's hand fell away from me in a flash. At least he could take a hint. Jake's eyes moved to look at me. "Well Bella, I was just coming to invite you to go sledding with the gang. It'll be fun. But I guess if you're already occupied for the day we can do it another time." I noticed Jake's eyes shift to try and look at Edward in his peripherals.

"I.."

"It's cool, just give me a call if you change your mind." And with that, Jake turned on his heels and exited the room, closing my door behind him.

"Well, that was interesting." I mumbled under my breath.

"Who is _Jake_?" He sneered the name like it was a dirty word.

"An old friend." I eyed Edward carefully. Was he _jealous_?

"Hm…are you sure?"

"Excuse me?" What was with men questioning me today. "Do you honestly think I had time for Jake during the four years I was busy being duped by Laurent?" I growled out the words, enraged.

"Bella…" Edward's voice was softer, but I didn't care.

"Honestly Edward. Jake has always just been a friend. I haven't even seen him in years. Once Laurent and I got serious, I stopped going to Forks, not wanting to leave during the summers. I've never felt anything for Jake. Last time I saw him he was just a gangly little preteen."

"Love I'm sorry. I don't know what came over me. I guess I'm just not used to this feeling of jealousy. I've never had experience with it. Forgive me?" His lips pouted out and I had the strongest desire to kiss him.

"Alright. Besides, it's kind of cute when you're jealous. Though you have no reason to be so."

"Apparently you didn't notice how he was staring at you. He probably didn't think much of it, not realizing I could see him. But he was eyeing you like a dog admires a new bone."

"That was a weird analogy." He just shrugged his shoulders at me. "Jake does not think of me like that."

"Think what you like love. But I am a guy and as such, know how their minds work."

"Whatever." I rolled my eyes which made Edward smirk at me.

"But I think you should go sledding with him and his _gang._" What?

"What?"

"I think it would be fun. It's a good idea. No need to spend all day inside, pining away for me."

"But I want to stay in and talk to you…or do you have something planned for today?"

"Nothing special, just staying inside all day pining away for the love of my life." I smiled at his words.

"Not fare. If you can pine, so can I." I tried pouting but I doubted it would work.

"Seriously Bella. Don't let me keep you from doing something fun. I won't take no for an answer. Just call me when you get back."

"Edward…"

"I mean it." He gave me his sternest look possible.

"Fine. But I won't enjoy myself."

"Yes you will. Call me later love."

We said our goodbyes and I left to call Jake and tell him the "good" news.

--

"Sweet! The guys will be excited to spend the day with you. Maybe a little too excited if you catch my drift." I could just picture Jake on the phone, wiggling his thick eyebrows at me.

"Ugh Jake! You're disgusting."

"Disgusting I may be, but honest I am also. Just head over to my place, we'll all ride together."

--

"I don't like the looks of this hill." I let my eyes travel down the steep slope in front of me. It had "death trap" written all over it.

"Don't be such a baby Bella. Just take a deep breath and go for it." Embry was egging me on and I knew it.

I didn't care if I was a baby. There was no way I was going down that hill. I shook my head violently.

"Is that a no, Bella?" Quil was laughing at my rather large, scared eyes, Seth joining in when he saw my expression.

"That's a hell no." At that, all four boys laughed.

"C'mon Bella, you can ride with me. I'll make sure no trees jump out and attack you on the way down."

"Very funny, ass." I bit back at him, making the guys double over from their rather boisterous laughs. "Shut up!"

"You're so chicken!" Embry started making clucking noises, flapping his arms like wings.

"At least I don't look like a complete idiot!" I shouted back, making him stop immediately. Ha, take that.

"We can't leave you up here by yourself. What if a bear comes out and gets you?"

I stiffened at his words. Bears? There were bears here? I silently went over the scenarios. How would I fare better, with an irritable grizzly or a downward slide to hell? Hmm…

"I'll take my chances with the bears. They're hibernating anyway."

"No, you're coming with." Jake ran at me and picked me up before I had a chance to move. He threw me over his shoulder and walked towards his sled. He sat down, pulling me in front of him to sit in between his legs. "I'll hold on to you and make sure you don't go flying off, ok?"

"Jake!" I was whining and I didn't care.

"On the count of 3. One…" I took a deep breath. "Two…" I exhaled sharply, waiting for three. "Go!"

"What happened to three?!"

I shouted as we started our free fall to the awaiting earth below. My heart flew up to my throat as we soared, actually lifting off from the ground for a minute. The wind was frigid and biting against my exposed skin. My teeth hurt from the cold. But it was exhilarating. I let out a loud scream of enjoyment as we picked up more and more speed.

All of a sudden we hit a small divot in the snow, just enough to make us topple over. True to his word, Jake never let go. Unfortunately that meant taking me with him as we went rolling down the side of the hill. I briefly thought about us accumulating more snow with each roll, turning us into a giant snowball like in cartoons. I laughed as we continued to roll, thankful we lived in a place I liked to call reality, until we came to a stop.

But my laughter died away as I took in the position Jake and I were in. He was completely on top of me, every inch of his warm body pressed against me. I could feel every part of him, including a part I wished was not currently stiffening against me. I blushed furiously as I looked at Jake's face. His eyes were half closed, mouth slightly opened and breath coming rapidly. He was enjoying this? Oh god, Edward was right. Again, damnit.

"Um, Jake…can you please get off me?"

"Oh! Shit, sorry…uh yeah..shit." He rolled off of me quicker than a flash of lightening. I saw, out of the corner of my eye, Jake adjust himself and I couldn't help but blush again. Jake made eye contact with me and I noticed his cheeks flush too. He knew that I felt that and I'm sure he was quite embarrassed.

For the rest of the day, Jake kept a respectful distance from me. I'm sure he didn't want a repeat of earlier, not being entirely in control of his body's reactions. It was getting late, and quite dark, when we decided to call it a day. The guys dropped us off at Jake's house. Since I didn't have a car, Jake was driving me home.

"Bella, about earlier…" It was the first time Jake had spoken to me since we climbed into his Volkswagen Rabbit. "I didn't mean…It's not like I…"

"Jake, as far as I'm concerned, nothing happened. We just enjoyed a fun day of sledding." I smiled at him, hoping he'd know there was no need to talk about what happened. It wasn't a big deal if we didn't make it one.

"Cool." Jake kept his eyes on the road and only barely turned to look at me when I said goodbye and hopped out of the car.

"See ya later Jake."

"Bye Bells." He waited til I got inside then took off, peeling out of my driveway.

--

"How was sledding?" Edward asked once I had settled down in front of the computer.

"It was fun." I didn't want to go into much detail, and I especially didn't feel like telling Edward about Jake's little problem. That would probably result in Edward buying a one way ticket to Seattle to kick some ass.

"I'm glad you enjoyed yourself. Your cheeks are still all red from the cold. It's so cute." He gave me a loving smile and I realized I was still chilled from the long day in the wet snow. I shivered a bit.

"Yeah, I think I may need to take a hot shower to warm me up. You don't mind waiting do you?"

"Not at all love. I'll sit and wait." He winked at me and I got up, eager to stand under the hot water of the shower.

--

EPOV

The entire time she was gone, I could not keep my mind from wandering to her luscious naked form, water dripping off every curve. Before I knew it, I was hard as a rock. I was in complete awe of my beautiful Bella. Only she could get me so worked up. This Christmas vacation was becoming quite challenging. All I wanted to do was run my hands over every inch of her skin, lick every sweet spot on her body. But those thoughts didn't help me right now. The only thing that could help me right now was a nice visual of Bella and my right hand. I closed my eyes, thinking of Bella in the shower, when I heard the door from her end open and shut quickly. I opened my eyes and saw the most beautiful sight ever. Bella stood before the laptop completely nude, beads of moisture still clinging to her creamy skin.

"Hi Edward." She sang the words to me. I thrilled at the sound. "I was so dirty before, I'm glad I could take that shower and get all cleaned up for you." She let her right hand graze down her body, pausing at her right breast to fondle it for a moment, before resting it on her inner thigh. I followed the moment with hungry eyes. When I looked back up to Bella's face, I saw her bottom lip caught between her lips. God, the lip biting was too sexy for me to handle.

"I'm sorry to tell you this love, but I have a feeling you'll be getting dirty again very soon." I smirked at her, excited for what was about to come. I'd be lying if I hadn't hoped this exact thing would happen when I purchased the laptop for Bella. I wanted a webcam for a reason…

"But Edward…" She pouted at me and the hunger multiplied ten fold.

"Bella, you've got me all worked up over here. I was hard before I even saw you, imagining your wet, naked body."

"Oh, I'm definitely wet, baby." I saw her right hand move from her thigh and disappear in between her legs. When she pulled it back out, I could see the light catch on the juices now coating her fingers. She held them up to her nose and sniffed deeply. Then, before I could catch a breath, Bella placed her fingers in her mouth and began sucking loudly.

"Oh god Bella."

My hands moved down to my pants, undoing them so I could give my raging erection freedom to expand to its full potential.

"Do you like this?" Bella sat down in the chair, spreading her legs to give me an excellent view of her beautiful shaved pussy. Her fingers began stroking at her slit, teasing herself.

"Yes, I love watching you please yourself." I let my right hand come to grasp my cock, slowly pumping it as I watched her finger probe between those sweet lips.

"I want to see you stroke yourself to me Edward." Her eyes took on a lustful glaze as I tilted the screen to point more towards my lap. "Mm Edward, you're so hard. I can just imagine feeling you inside me right now." And then Bella pushed three fingers into her awaiting pussy.

I instinctively gripped harder, pumping myself faster as I watched on, imagining my dick in place of her fingers. Though, her fingers working on herself was almost as erotic.

Bella's breath picked up as she went faster, her thumb working slow circles on her swollen clit. I let my thumb graze my tip, catching some of the pre cum there, rubbing it against my shaft as I worked myself harder for her. My eyes began to roll back in my head from the feeling.

"Keep those eyes open. I want you to see me make myself cum." Bella commanded, and it sent a violent shudder through my body. A commanding Bella was sexy as hell.

"Yes m'am." I snapped my eyes back to her dripping pussy lips, mouth watering as her juices began to overflow and leak down her hand.

"Oh Edward, my pussy is so tight, and warm. It misses the feel of you inside it. but I love fucking myself with my fingers." Bella moaned louder and I felt my dick begin to twitch in my hands.

"Ohhh Bella." I grunted loudly, grateful for my basement room.

"Play with your balls Edward. If I were there I'd be squeezing and pulling at them." As she spoke, her speed and pressure on her clit increases. She was getting close and so was I.

"Mmhmm." It's all I could manage to say as my left hand came to massage my boys.

My strokes became harder and faster, almost painfully so as I neared my climax. My grunts mixed with Bella's moans and the sounds spurred me on, making me even more aroused.

"Edward, I'm gonna cum." Bella breathed out, fingers pumping almost erratically as she began to cum all over her fingers. She bit down on her bottom lip, trying to silence her rather loud screams of pleasure. I loved that she was a screamer. But I didn't want her dad finding us like this, though it did make this all the more thrilling.

Her "O" face was so beautiful, and so erotic. I felt my balls contract, dick stiffening even more as I braced myself for the orgasm about to shake my body.

"Fuck Bella." My toes curled into the carpet underfoot as I shot out hot cum, trying to use my free hand to catch the sticky mess. When I had completely emptied myself out, I let out a deep sigh, only slightly content because I really wanted Bella here to satisfy me the way I needed. But I wouldn't complain. That was amazing, and more than I could ever ask from Bella.

"Oh Edward, I'm really glad you bought this laptop for yourself." Bella winked at me, and I figured she knew I had been hoping for this all along. I gave her a sheepish smile, slightly chagrinned at being caught. "Really, I am." She had a wicked glint in her eye and I was suddenly excited for more nights like tonight. If I had to be away from her for so long, at least we could share our nights like this.

I suddenly became aware that my hand was cupping a whole shit load of my own mess. The thought kind of grossed me out.

"I'm sorry love, but I really need to get going so I can clean up." I gave her an apologetic smile as I held up my left hand for her to see. Bella giggled.

"Well since I'm not there to help," she licked her lips, "I guess I'll let you go."

"Thanks. I love you, you know?"

"I love you too."

Tonight's dreams of Bella would be very pleasant, I had a feeling. I couldn't wait for tomorrow. Maybe I could convince her to dress up for me...

* * *

**Ok, so this chapter really is shorter than most. It's like 3 frickin am and I am still up finishing this for you all because I am madly in love with you and your love for this story. So, make my sleepless night worth it and review. I'm sorry but it'll be the last for the week. Tho I still have yet to get my other entry up for amgglekim's contest. So I may squeeze in time to post that.**

**Reviews are love people! tell me your thoughts, i beg of you!**


	24. Chapter 24

**a/n: still not smeyer, though I wouldn't mind trading places for a minute or two…then I'd be responsible for creating the sexiest vampire known to mankind. Sigh…**

**I know it's a bit late, but how bout that Twilight trailer? Is everyone's finger sore from hitting play repeatedly all weekend long? I know mine is. And the kiss scene, just too sexy. Hurry up Nov 21!**

**anyway, sorry my lovies for the delay. I have been mulling over this new idea for a story, a couple of you friends have heard about it from me, and it has totally been taking over my every thought. So much in fact that I have been writing that instead of PT just to clear it out of my brain. So here are my apologies. Please accept. Pretty pretty please.**

**I just thought you should know, that besides being a review whore, I have discovered that I enjoy pimping stories (as fiberkitty so lovingly told me). So that's why I like to mention all my faves. When I find one I love, I feel the need to share the wealth. You should all be enjoying these stories as much as I do. If you haven't checked out ILoveJasperWhitlock's story More than Just Friends, you should. I am betaing for her and totally love the story. And Twilighter620's story A New Sensation is also one you should check out. And if you haven't yet seen, I wrote another one shot for amgglekim's contest-Becoming Jessica Rabbit. You should check that out, because I love all your kind words.**

**Voldemortperfumes has started a new c2 that I think you will all enjoy, so obviously that means smut snickers. Check it out. I have the pleasure of being on that staff so I can add my faves there. Ooh la la!**

**To my bff I'mwiththevampires08, we'll wallow in disappointment together shall we? Damn our teams for losing. Damn them to hell. Hopefully this chapter sends some much needed comfort your way. And to my newest friend Izzers who shares my love of Brand New and has amazing ideas. **

**Finally (I know…) MysticIce24, your present idea makes an appearance here ;) just for you, well and for me and Bella and Edward, since we will all enjoy the benefits of it. **

**Now on to the main event:**

* * *

This was slightly awkward.

Here I sat with my father's girlfriend, sipping coffee like casual friends at her kitchen nook. Charlie wanted us to get to know each other and asked if I would spend the day with her. He guaranteed that we'd be by ourselves since Seth was planning on hanging out with his friends all day. I don't know if alone time with her was a blessing or not. Not that I didn't like Sue, because I did, I just wasn't sure how easily we'd fall into conversation.

And right now we were both silent, staring into the depths of our mugs, searching for something to say. I saw Sue look up at me and part her mouth, about to say something. Her face looked anxious and it made me in turn nervous for what she was about to say.

"So Bella, how are things going with your boyfriend? What was his name again?" I wonder if Charlie put her up to this…because that could only spell trouble in my opinion.

"Edward, his name is Edward. And things are going really well." I couldn't help but smile as I thought about last night. Edward was a sex deviant, and I loved it. I had never thought of using a webcam for any kind of sexual activity before I met him.

"That's really great!" Sue's answering smile seemed genuine enough, as if she just wanted to hear about my life. I felt a little bad for assuming she only asked because of Charlie. "How did you two meet? I mean, if you don't mind talking about him that is. I feel like I'm surrounded by males all day long. It's nice to have another female around to talk to."

I could understand how she felt. Since I arrived to Forks, I had very little contact with another girl. Alice and I talked a bit, but she was usually with Jasper and busy getting the Cullen house ready for Christmas. And while Rosalie and I were becoming friendlier, it wasn't to the point where we'd call and chat about whatever.

"No, I don't mind at all. it's kinda nice. My best friend back at school is actually his brother so it's hard to talk to her about him. But that's how we met, through Alice. Well, that and he was my TA." Sue's eyes grew round with surprise. I explained, at least a little bit, what had happened between Edward and I: the misunderstandings, tension, and finally the big first kiss.

Sue was such a good listener. She didn't interrupt like Alice and Rose did. She made small comments here and there, like when I talked about the concert and my broken leg.

"Oh, so that's how it really happened! I knew your excuse for Charlie seemed a little fishy."

"Hey, I am super clumsy, it's not too impossible."

I had told Charlie that while at the concert, I had stepped onto a platform and accidently slipped off. I didn't want him to know that I had forced my way into the middle of a mosh pit. He'd probably chastise me and try to ground me or something, as if that would even be possible. But Charlie knew my long history of accidents and had believed my story in a heartbeat. Apparently Sue was much more observant.

"So, how are _things?_" I didn't miss the tone she took with that last word.

"Sue!" My cheeks stained red. Could she really be implying what I think she is? She's Charlie's girlfriend for heaven's sake.

"What? I know I'm dating your father, but I'm not your mother Bella. I want to be your friend. And I'm not as old fashioned as you might think. From how you described Edward, how can you _not_ be having quite a good time with him."

Oh God. She was trying to embarrass me to death.

She stared at me more, and I finally met her gaze. It would be nice to be friends with Sue. She was a good woman. But could I really tell her about my sex life? I didn't have many people to gush to about Edward and his amazing abilities. Maybe I'd start out slow and if she responded well I'd continue.

"Seriously Bella, you are a consenting adult and my friend. You can talk to me about it, who else do you have? I can't imagine talking to his sister is very enjoyable." She smiled at me and I relented.

"Ok, fine. Things are good. Better than good. They're great. Edward is beyond great." The heat returned to my face as I realized I was really going to be talking about this.

"So how big is he?"

--

Never in a million years would I have imagined myself talking to my father's girlfriend about my sex life. But Sue was easy to talk to. She ate up the conversation like some rather tasty pound cake to go along with her coffee. I found myself giggling at her questions and my answers. She wanted to see a picture of Edward and I felt bad that I didn't actually have one on me, other than a shot on my phone. I pulled it out and held it up for her inspection.

"Wow, he's gorgeous!"

"Tell me about it." I sighed and eyed the picture longingly.

Just then, Edward called me. He asked what I was up to and when I tried coming across as nonchalant, Sue giggled in the background.

"What are you up to love?"

"Oh nothing, just chatting with Sue."

"Hi Edward! I bet it's _hard_ not being with Bella right now, huh?" Sue spoke up so that Edward could hear her over the receiver. Her laughter rang out, Sue not even trying to stifle it.

I couldn't help but laugh at her small innuendo. It was amazing how our relationship had quickly progressed to this: her teasing Edward about not being with me. It reminded me of Alice and I felt a surge of emotions for Sue, the newest part of my hodge podge family.

"Uh, yeah it is…what's going on?"

"Nothing Edward, I'll call you later ok?"

After hanging up and taking a few minutes to calm down from our laughing fit, Sue decided to be a bit more serious. She wanted to know about our future together and I had no idea how to answer her.

Of course I loved Edward, loved him more than I thought was even possible. I couldn't even begin to imagine a life without him. But I wasn't ready to admit out loud that I wanted to be with him forever. That implied some serious commitment and who knew what the future held? Edward would be moving on to med school, whether that be near or far from me. I had no idea what would happen to our relationship if he chose a school out of the state of Illinois. And frankly, I didn't want to think about it. the possibility of it all made me cringe.

It was nearing dinner time and Charlie showed up after a rather tedious day at the station. Sue and I were making dinner together in the kitchen when Charlie sneaked up behind us and wrapped an arm around each of us.

"How are my two favorite girls doing?"

Sue giggled like a teenager and leaned closer to give my father a kiss. I loved seeing him like this. He was so much happier than the many years I had known him. Sue was the best thing that has happened to him, even counting Renee. Because Sue would never leave my father. She had confessed to me that she wanted nothing more than to marry Charlie. I could only hope for that. After all, those two had suffered a lot of heartbreak and loss. They deserved to be happy together.

We spent dinner together, talking and laughing, and for the first time I felt like a part of a family. I had never had this growing up and I lamented the years spent going back and forth between my parents. But I guess it's better late than never. At least I was getting to experience this now.

Afterwards, Charlie and I hugged Sue goodbye and drove back home, both silent but communicating more than words could.

"I had a lot of fun today. I really like Sue." I finally spoke up as we pulled into the driveway.

"I'm so glad Bella, she means the world to me." Charlie's eyes crinkled in that familiar smile and I found myself leaning across the car seat to hug him. We sat like that for a few minutes, embracing as if it were a common occurrence. Who knew that when I came out here for the holidays it would resemble more of a Norman Rockwell print than an Edvard Munch?

Edward and I talked late into the night, enjoying each other's company in more ways than one. My body ached whenever I saw him. I had to wait until Charlie was fast asleep before I could strip off my clothes and touch myself in ways that made me long for Edward. I loved watching Edward please himself as he watched and listened to me. He was the most beautiful man I had ever laid eyes on. His naked body was perfection and I missed how my hands would explore every hard plane of his body. All I wanted for Christmas was Edward, and I had to wait until New Year's Eve to get that. It sucked.

"Edward, what is the other thing you sent me?" I picked up the box, still wrapped, that told me to open it when alone.

"Patience Bella." He should know by now how impatient I was. I fingered at the tape on the paper, hoping it would magically unpeel itself so I could see what lay hidden beneath.

"But Edward…"

"No buts my love. You'll just have to wait until Christmas is all. Maybe in the morning when you wake up you should call me. I want to watch you open this first gift. It would make me really happy to see the look on your face when you discover what it is." Edward flashed me his perfect crooked grin and my heart tightened with love.

"First gift? Edward, please don't spend any more money on gifts. I can't tell you how hard it is for me to know you will be wasting it on me."

"Spending money on you can never be a waste. You are the most wonderful person to ever grace this earth. You deserve to be spoiled. And what kind of boyfriend would I be if I didn't?"

"A good one?"

"Nice try. I would be an ungrateful one. You give me so much by just being with me every day. Let me _try _and repay you."

"But what if my gift to you isn't as good?" I frowned, knowing my question would probably be true. I didn't have much money to spend on anything of great importance to Edward.

"Whatever you get me will be more than good enough. It will be the best present ever."

"No pressure." I mumbled under my breath.

After we bid our goodnights, I lied awake for some time thinking of what I could get Edward. What do you get a man who has enough money to already get whatever he wants? The only thing I was really familiar with was books. And I doubted there was a book he didn't already own that would capture Edward's attention. I mean, what were the things that Edward loved most?

Me-I smiled gratuitously at that

Music-I can't imagine a songbook Edward would need. He seemed to know every song already. And I don't think he'd be interested in books about composers.

Medicine-ugh, that just sounded boring. No thank you.

What else did Edward really enjoy? Oh.

Sex

Oh.

I had an idea. It wouldn't be his main gift. But at least it would be something more tangible. I would be needing to make a trip to a bookstore. I'd need someone to take me since I had no method of transportation. I couldn't take Charlie, because that would just be way too awkward. No need to bring up a conversation I was probably _never_ ready to have with him. And though Sue and I had talked about it, her seeing me buy the book would be weird still. So who could take me? I had only one other option.

Jacob Black.

It would be weird still, especially after the incident at the bottom of the hill during our sledding excursion. But what other option did I have? I would just make him promise to stay away from me while I was there, and then hide my purchase before he could figure out what it was.

Now all I had to do was make sure he was available to take me.

"Hey Bella, what's up?"

"Jake, can you take me up to Olympia tomorrow? I need to go to Barnes and Nobles and get a gift." No need to mention it was for Edward.

"Oh yeah? Got some last minute Christmas shopping for Charlie?"

"Uh, no not for Charlie. For my friend Alice back in Evanston. We're doing a gift exchange when I get back into town."

"Cool. Yeah that's fine. I'll come get you around 9, is that cool?"

So it was all set. I hope I'd be able to find the book by myself, because I _was not_ going to ask for help.

--

**EPOV**

"Edward, quit moping. You are so pathetic; can't you go a few days without seeing her?"

Alice was annoying me, as usual, by not letting me "mope" in my bedroom.

"Don't act as if you'd be any different if Jasper were gone. And it's not a couple days, it's a couple weeks…and I know I'm pathetic. I'm pussy whipped."

"As long as you own up to it I guess."

My little sister gave me a smile and patted me on my back. I hated that she patronized me like this. but she refused to leave. Where the hell is Jasper? He is my only source of safety when it comes to the pixie standing beside me. I bet if Bella were here Alice would turn to her and try to unleash her powers of shopping seduction on my innocent girlfriend. Then she'd leave me alone. Of course if Bella were here, I wouldn't let Alice steal her away from me for anything.

Bella.

It was beyond me how I became so attached to someone so quickly. Well I guess, not completely beyond me. She was quite possibly the closest thing to perfection I had met. How could I not obsess over her? I didn't enjoy being away from her. Not at all. and it made me nervous for the next semester.

How was I going to survive spending time away from her? I was signed up for so many damn prep courses I didn't know what to do with myself. It was all in an effort to get as ready for the MCATS as possible. The long hours of studying meant less time with my beautiful love. Bella tried reassuring me that I didn't need to worry, that I'd do fine and score well and she'd be ok with less time with me.

But I had my doubts. The exam was extremely difficult, and I didn't want to be one of the many who had to retake it. I wanted to have my choice of med schools to attend, not fear that I'd be rejected by all. So that meant becoming a hermit to cram as much information into a head that already seemed too full. Already full of all things Bella.

I wanted to be accepted into all the prestigious schools. And if I did get the acceptance to the one school I had always dreamed of attending, that meant that time would not be the only barrier in our relationship. Distance would add to that strain. John Hopkins was in Baltimore, much too far away from the little bubble I had created in and around Evanston.

I'd never admit it, but I hoped that Bella would follow me out there. That she'd pick up her entire life and transfer somewhere close to me, so I could have her nearby. I loved her too much to let her go. But then I realized that I was being entirely too selfish. How could I expect that of her? She had told me that she specifically chose Northwestern for its Creative Writing program. How could I make her choose between her life and me?

Because I hoped I had become her life.

But I knew that was not true. She may be my life now, but I was not hers. I wanted her to have more of a life than just me, for the most part anyway.

And even if she did follow me out to Maryland, I'd be so busy that I'd hardly see her there. I'd take her away from everything that she had grown to know and love and then leave her lonely and disoriented. What kind of a monster was I?

So where did that leave us?

"Edward, are you ok?" Alice came to sit next to me on my bed.

"Yeah, just thinking." That answer would have to do. I didn't want to scare Alice with my inner musing.

"I'm sorry I was teasing before. I know how much you love her. I'm sure it's rough not being able to be with her."

"It is. I miss her a lot." I let out a sigh, letting go of the worries in my mind and focusing only on my need for Bella. "I think I might buy a ticket and surprise her on Christmas."

"Oh no you don't!" Alice's loud tone shocked me.

"And why the hell not?" I don't see why that would be such a bad thing. Isn't that romantic? Isn't that what every girl wants in a man, spontaneity and romance?

"You know how she is with you and spending money Edward." True. "Plus, how do you think she would feel having to deal with her dad meeting her boyfriend on Christmas of all days? That's a little much, don't you think?"

"Well, I guess so, but…"

"Not to mention the fact that I'm sure he is oblivious to the fact that Bella is now an adult and does 'adult' things. He'd make you sleep on the couch." That wouldn't be a problem, I would just sneak up to her room while Charlie slept. "And as far as sneaking up to her room, I'm sure her dad would be sleeping in front of her door with a shotgun, just waiting for you to try something. Because you would try something. You two can't go a day without any kind of sexual release. There's no way you would last the remainder of the holidays celibate. You'd end up getting shot at, something I'm sure Charlie can cover up since he is the police chief. I doubt Bella would appreciate all that money being spent just to have you end up in the hospital with a gunshot wound."

All I could do was sit and stare at her, mouth hanging open at the words she spoke. It wasn't just that she had prattled off that little scenario at lightning speed, it was the fact that she had even come up with the scenario to begin with. Where did she find the time to think about all of that?

"What? I knew you were toying with the idea of flying out there. And it made me nervous. I'm pretty sure at least parts of that would happen if you did go out to Forks. Maybe the time spent away from each other will make you appreciate what you have even more. You know what they say, 'absence makes the heart grow fonder'." Alice turned to leave me alone, finally.

"Whoever said that is full of shit." I heard my sister giggle as she walked back upstairs, effectively allowing me to wallow in my thoughts.

What I needed now more than ever was Bella. She always had a way of keeping me sane and making me feel better, even in the most dire of situations. We had worked out arrangements for her to fly back on New Year's Eve, it was the soonest and cheapest she could get back into Chicago, Bella's only requirements. I tried to bump her up to first class where there were more tickets available, but she had put her foot down on that. Charlie was purchasing the tickets, and even though I told her I would pay for the upgrade, she wanted nothing to do with it. She was so damn stubborn; it made me love her even more.

--

**BPOV**

"So Bella, how are things going with your boyfriend?" Jacob was trying to sound casual but I saw the corner of his lips turn down ever so slightly as he tried to sneak glances at me while driving.

"Fine."

"Just fine?"

Why was he pushing my buttons right now? Did he want me to admit how I really felt? I was almost sure that would make him uncomfortable, the last thing I wanted to do. I rolled my eyes hoping that was enough of an answer for him. But Jacob kept waiting for something more. As if the one word answer I had given him could imply something else. Well, he was asking for it.

"Alright, you got me." I saw Jacob's eyes light up, thinking my admittance meant something else. "Things are great. I really love him." I sighed for dramatic effect. Let him mull that over. Hopefully it would shut him up.

"Oh, like you loved Laurent?" I grimaced at that.

Besides Edward and Alice, Jacob was the only other person that even remotely knew what happened between Laurent and me. After I had recovered enough from the shock of finding out that Victoria was married to him and carrying his baby, I had called Jacob. He was shocked to hear from me after so long, but I had to tell someone and I didn't know who else to turn to.

I didn't tell him everything, god no. He'd just go find Laurent and kick his ass. But Jake knew that Laurent had left me broken hearted and alone. He had asked me on several occasions if Laurent had cheated on me, which I firmly denied. But I don't think Jake ever believed me. All I know is that ever since I had told Jake about Laurent, he had been fiercely protective of me, even from such a large distance. He had called and sent me emails right up until I left for Northwestern.

"Stop it, Edward is nothing like Laurent. He's the most decent and respectful man I know."

"Ouch Bells!" Jacob clutched at his chest, feigning hurt.

"Oh shut it. You know I love you like a brother." I hope he caught that last part.

"Right." Jake's tone was noticeably different as we pulled into the parking lot at Barnes and Noble.

After a somewhat awkward walk into the store, I had to persuade Jake to leave me alone while I searched for the book I needed. He was hesitant to leave my side, not knowing why I needed to be by myself. I eventually convinced him that he'd be bored out of his mind as I looked for the perfect book on fashion.

Crisis averted.

I had to walk by the musical section, finding a beautifully bound notebook containing sheet music. I hadn't even thought of that as an option for Edward's present, but it seemed like a good idea now. He could use it; I know how much he loved all things piano. And the notebook wasn't that expensive, why not get it too?

I cautiously made my way over to the section that I figured the book would be in, glancing over my shoulder ever few seconds to make sure Jake was at a safe distance. I saw him over by the "graphic novels" at the other side of the store. Thank god he was such a boy at heart. Those should keep him occupied for a long time.

My eyes scanned through several titles, widening at some of them. I stopped to gape at a cover that showed a man's naked body from the neck down, his leg strategically bent to cover up his manhood. The title read "Blow Him" with the rest of the title in small print reading "away: How to Give Him Mind-Blowing Oral Sex." Holy hell, I was in over my head. There were so many different books that I didn't even know where to start. I just needed the classic. Do they print that anymore? Hmm…_365 ways to make the day and night more exciting_? That sounded interesting. I wonder if that book was like those vocabulary word a day calendars, instead offering a new sex tip each day. That could be useful.

Then I found what I was searching for, the jackpot and mother load. There were still a few options to choose from, so I decided to pick the one that had the least offensive cover, that way if anyone happened to glance my way they might miss what lay inside the book.

"What's that?" I felt hot breath on my neck, making me shiver and jump at the same time.

"HOLY SHIT!" I dropped the book like it was on fire.

I went to retrieve it, only Jake beat me to it, bending down and picking it up faster than I could move.

"_This _is the fashion book you wanted for your friend Alice?" His eyes swept over the cover and then his hands made to open it up. Absolutely not, I was not letting him look inside that thing. My hand shot out to slap the book closed. "Is there something you're not telling me Bells?" Jake cracked a huge smile. Why is he smiling, I would have thought he'd be grossed out. "Are you really dating Alice instead of Edward? Because if you are, that's cool. I mean, I wouldn't mind that. That's actually really hot."

"What? Ew, god, what is with men and their affinity with lesbians? It's not for Alice you dumb ass, it's for Edward." I blurted out the words before I realized it. Jake's face fell, then scrunched up in disgust and anger. Shit, I really should think before I speak.

"Bella, what do you think you're doing with this Edward person? You should not be having sex with him, you're too young." I let the laughter burst from my mouth.

"Are you kidding me? I'm older than you! You sound like my fucking father Jacob. I don't need your lecturing. Do you have sex? because last time I checked you are not even 18 yet, I think that's illegal."

"It's different."

"Why, because you have a penis? That's fucking ridiculous and you know it. Now if you'll excuse me.." I turned on my heels and marched away to pay for my book.

I was so mad I didn't even have the chance to feel embarrassed when the guy at the check stand eyed me appreciatively. Jake was by my side in an instant, apologies rolling off his tongue like slobber from a dog. I didn't want to hear it. I just need to be by myself for a minute. And the only place I could go right now to be alone was somewhere Jake wouldn't follow. The bathrooms were on the other side of the mall, so I headed for the familiar pink that would keep Jake outside.

"I need to buy a couple of things in here. So if you could just wait for me please." I stared Jake down, daring him to challenge me or have enough guts to walk in with me.

Jakes dark brown eyes looked up at the sign, then flitted down as he lowered his head.

"Yeah sure, I'll just sit on the bench. Come get me when you're done."

I walked into the overly pink store, bras and panties draped over every available space. I hardly ever came to Victoria's Secret to purchase any kind of undergarments. Usually the only thing I got here was the different body sprays and lotions.

But as I perused the selection, I kept noticing different "outfits" that I fantasized wearing for Edward. He would appreciate the lingerie. I had never worn anything special for him before, just some of the sexy panty sets Alice picked out for me.

My eyes landed on the store's sexy Santa outfit: hot pink push up bra with a barely there hot pink skirt that ruffled out a bit. There was even a matching hat. Edward would die if he saw me in this, I thought ruefully, longing for his presence this holiday. Then I remembered his especially thoughtful gift to himself. There was a rather convenient webcam on it. And Edward had asked me to call him first thing when I woke up on Christmas and open up his gift online so he could see my reaction. Wouldn't it be nice if he had a nice little present waiting for him? Of course I would be doing the unwrapping in this case..

I had to get it. I don't care if it was a bit pricey. It would be worth it. Especially since my other gifts didn't cost much.

I smiled the entire way to the cash register. The girl behind it gave me a knowing smile in return as she rang me up.

"I don't think you'll be needing a gift receipt." She winked at me while handing the bag to me.

"Listen Bella, I'm sorry if I offended you back there." Jacob was trying to apologize again, breaking the tension filled silence on the car ride home. I still didn't want to hear it.

"Don't even bother Jake. I would rather we not talk about it, or anything at all right now as a matter of fact."

Jacob's mouth snapped shut, his teeth biting down together hard. But he listened to me, not opening his mouth to speak to me again until we reached my drive way.

"I guess I'll be seeing you around Bella." I noticed Jake's hands clenched on the steering wheel.

"Yeah, on Christmas, right? Have a good night. Thanks for taking me out today." I was still pissed at him, but grateful for his services as chauffer basically.

I don't know when or how it happened, but things between Jacob and I had gotten so complicated. Ever since I came home for the holidays and he found out about Edward…you'd think Jake was jealous, but he had never acted that way about or towards Laurent. So it couldn't be that he was really jealous. Maybe he was just over protective like Charlie.

Whatever it was, I didn't like it, and I wanted things to go back to how it used to be: just Jake and me, two friends.

--

"Merry Christmas!" I chirped into the phone, overly excited despite the time.

"Merry Christmas to you too, love." Edward sounded fully awake. "You sound quite awake for it being 6am there. Are you eager to see what Santa brought you?" His musical chuckle filled me up, making my heart feel light.

"Well yes, I am eager to see my gifts, but not the ones from Santa. I want to know what I have waiting by me right now. Though I do think Santa has something special for you." I smirked into the phone as I started up my macbook.

"What do you mean love?" the confused tone in his voice made me even more anxious for his reaction.

I was sitting in my chair, robe wrapped tightly around me. It was too cold to be sitting around in next to nothing. But as soon as the laptop finished booting up, I shimmied my way out of the terrycloth. I stepped away from the laptop so that I wouldn't be seen right away, waiting by my stereo for Edward's face to appear on the screen.

"Bella? Where are you?" That was my cue to hit play.

I sauntered my way into his sight as the vocals of Marilyn Monroe rang out quiet enough so that Charlie didn't wake up, but loud enough for Edward to hear.

"Bella? What's going on? What are you do…oh." Edward's eye grew wide as he took in the sight of me in my Santa outfit.

I had never done anything like this before, but I wanted to try for him. The fact that he wasn't actually physically near me made it easier. I could just pretend that he couldn't see me, make it easier for me to do this.

My hips swung to the beat as I stepped closer to the laptop. I could hear Edward's breathing pick up as he took in what Santa was giving him this year. I ran my hands along my body, pausing at my breasts to brush against them. At the words "hurry down the chimney tonight" I dropped down low, popping my ass out as I came back up. Edward let out a low guttural moan as I did that. I made sure to turn and give him a nice view of my ass, shear white boy short panties hugging my cheeks under the skirt.

"Bella, this is..this is..the best fucking Christmas ever." Edward was panting as I continued my little show for him.

"The best is yet to come." I winked at him as I continued. He didn't realize I was just warming up the act.

When the lyrics reached "Think of all the fun I've missed" I let my hand go up my legs, brushing my thighs and disappearing under the skirt. My fingers grazed against my wet slit through the underwear. This was just as much for me as it was for him.

"Oh god, Bella, yeah…" I saw Edward pull down his pajama pants a bit, his thick cock springing up in front of the laptop.

"Mmm." I licked my lips as my other hand went to my shoulder, slipping off the strap there. I had to remove my busy right hand from under my skirt to my other strap. That slid down too, allowing the satiny material covering my breasts to loosen a bit, exposing more flesh for Edward's hungry eyes.

"Keep going baby." Edward's hand had found his cock, stroking himself to the rhythm my hips were still moving to. "Give me more, please."

It was so unusual to hear Edward beg me for more, I had to comply. I reached behind my back, undoing the clasp of the bra swiftly, letting the material fall away from me to allow my now heaving chest to be ogled by Edward.

"God I love those tits of yours. I wish I was there so I could fucking bite them."

I moaned at his words, loving the pleasure his teeth sent through my hard nipples. I let my fingers pinch at them, rolling the buds between forefinger and thumb, trying to emulate what Edward did with his teeth.

"Oh Edward, you've been such a good boy, what do you want Santa to give you this Christmas?"

"I want you to reach that hand down your body and touch yourself. Tell me how wet you are love."

My hand traveled down my chest, over my stomach and dipped underneath the waistline of my skirt. I slipped in to my panties, finding the wet warmth waiting for me.

"I'm so wet Edward, I've soaked through my panties. It's all for you."

"Good, then I want you to finger fuck yourself while I stroke my cock for you." Edward's breathing was labored, since he had been doing just that for a bit now.

I went to slip my finger inside, but found the material still covering me restricting. I pulled down the skirt and underwear as quickly as I could. When I was completely bare to Edward I heard a loud groan.

"I miss that sweet cunt of yours. It's been too long since I've seen it, felt it, touched it, fucked it. Oh god I need you."

His words sent me into a frenzy, two of my fingers finding their way into my entrance, pumping madly at the thought of all the things Edward longed to do to my pussy.

"Yessss." I hissed out the word as I enjoyed the sensation of my fingers filling me up.

"That's it love, keep going. Make yourself cum. That is the only gift I want, is to watch you cum all over your hand."

Edward was pumping himself harder and faster as I continued my self pleasuring. I had to reach out and grab onto the table for support as my knees weakened under me. I needed the extra balance as I knew my release would hit me soon.

I spread my legs out wider so I could gain more access to my tight walls. I imitated Edward's actions whenever he pleased me with his fingers. My thumb brushed against my sensitive swollen clit as my fingers curled inward, brushing against the sweet spot Edward always stimulated.

"Oh god Edward, I'm close…I'm gonna…" I let out a loud moan as I felt my walls tighten around my finger, juices flowing down my hand.

"Fuck!" Edward yelled as he came all over himself.

"Bella?!" I heard Charlie yell from the other side of the door.

"Shit!" I whispered to Edward as he tried to hide the laughter erupting from his chest. "I'll be right back!" I lowered the top of the laptop so Charlie could not see what was on the screen, then threw on the bathrobe to cover myself before opening the door.

"Are you ok Bells? I thought I heard a yell or something."

"Yeah, sorry, I just stumbled out of the bed, must've been having a crazy dream or something." I said the first thing that came to mind. No doubt Edward was laughing his ass off right now. Of course he'd find it funny, he had the luxury of a basement bedroom.

"Are you sure you're alright? You're all flushed. You don't have a fever do you?" His hand went up to my forehead to see if I had a temperature. "You do feel a bit warm…"

"I just need some more sleep dad."

"Sure, ok." He looked more relieved and started to turn to leave. "Why are you listening to _Santa Baby?_"

"Oh I must've fallen asleep to Christmas music last night. Oops." I tried to give him an apologetic smile.

"Just get some rest, we have a busy day ahead of us."

"Yeah sure. I will."

Charlie finally left, closing the door behind him. I ran back over to my desk, throwing open the laptop so I could resume my conversation with Edward. Thank god we had both finished before Charlie came knocking.

"Holy shit Bella, you need to be more careful! You're loud vocals will get you in trouble!" Edward was shaking with silent laughter.

"Don't act like you don't like it."

"Oh I more than like it. I fucking love your screams of pleasure. They turn me on so much." He smirked at me, green eyes twinkling like Christmas lights. "Are you ready to open your present?"

"Oh! I almost forgot!" I jumped up to get the package, bringing it back to my seat. I sat patiently, waiting for the ok to open it.

"Well, what are you waiting for?" Edward eyed me for a minute, then I tore my gaze away to rip open the present.

When I got all the wrapping paper out of the way, I discovered a plain brown, nondescript box. With shaking hands I slowly raised off the lid. Inside I saw different multicolored tissue paper, concealing what was inside. I picked it up and set it aside so I could get to what was waiting for me. The paper was so soft and smooth it could pass for fabric. I shrugged off the thought and looked down in the box.

I recognized the back of a picture frame. Odd. He bought me a picture? I pulled it out and turned it around to see what the picture could be. When I saw it, I wanted to laugh and scream at Edward at the same time.

"_This_ is what I had to open alone? God, Edward, I thought it was something risqué like a vibrator or something!"

"A vibrator? Hm, that's not a bad idea. Though I hate the idea of something else pleasing you when that's my job. Still, I didn't think you'd appreciate your dad asking you why you had a picture of your boyfriend feeling you up." He laughed a bit louder at that.

He was right. The picture seemed innocent enough. It was of the two of us on the Eagle at Great America. It had been such a fun day. I almost forgot that he had held on to my breasts as I bounced around on the wooden coaster. But the sly grin on his face in the picture was one of my favorite expressions of his. If only that Edward had known what he was about to experience later that night on the Whizzer.

"So that's why you bought two copies." I started tearing up at the remembrance of his purchase. I know it may seem weird for me to cry over such a present, but it was so thoughtful and, let's face it, cheap. Thoughtful was always Edward's style. Cheap, however, wasn't. But he had done it for me because he knows how much I detest expensive items.

"Bella? Do you not like it? I'm sorry if you think it's stupid. I thought it would be nice, kinda sentimental ya know?"

"Yeah, I do know. And I love it. Thank you." This picture would always remind me of our beginning, two people in love, even if they hadn't admitted it yet.

"Well then, I'm glad you like it. What about the other things?"

"What other things?" I looked in the box again, finding nothing but more expensive tissue paper.

"The things your touching right now, silly." I picked up a piece of dark blue something, inspecting it closer, only to discover it was a teddy.

"Oh!" I gasped as realization hit me. Everything i had mistook for tissue paper was lingerie. It was a lot of lingerie by the looks of it.

"I just thought you could use some extra _things_, ya know?" He winked at me and I blushed slightly. I had just been thinking how I never dressed up for him. I would definitely do so now that I had more of a selection to wear.

I heard a knock on Edward's side this time, then a head of black hair popped into view.

"Merry Christmas Bella! Did you enjoy Edward's gift?"

"Not as much as I enjoyed mine I bet." Edward winked at me, which unfortunately Alice caught.

"Ew! See, you're miles apart but _still_ can't go even a day!" She smacked the back of his head and I was left wondering at what she was referring to. "C'mon lover boy, it's time for presents! Bella, I can't wait til you're back in Illinois. I miss you!" Alice gave me her ever powerful pout and then she walked out of sight, presumably to give Edward and I a bit more privacy.

"Well, love…have a good Christmas with everyone. I'll be thinking of you all day. You will call me whenever you get the chance, right?"

"Of course Edward. "

"Good. I miss you love." His eyes dulled a bit, a sign I recognized to mean he was feeling dejected. I was still amazed that my absence could make him feel that way.

"I miss you too Edward. Don't worry, just six more days and we will be together again." I was trying to sound optimistic even though six days sounded like an eternity to me.

"Yeah, six days: 144 hours, 8640 minutes, or 518,400 seconds left." His tone of voice turned just as dull to match his eyes.

"Sure, when you put it that way it sounds worse." I sighted in defeat. Six days sounded unbearable. "I love you Edward."

"I love you too Isabella Marie Swan." He blew me a kiss and then we said our goodbyes.

How am I going to survive 518,400 seconds without Edward when I can barely stand one second away from him? These last 6 days will be pure torture.

* * *

**So I hope you enjoyed this chapter. I wasn't intending on including Christmas morning in this one originally, but then I felt bad for the long absence and the equally long a/n (I just seem to have diarrhea of the mouth when it comes to a/n). I was also not intending on including any hot and heavy scenes inthis chapter, but I love you all too much. So there it is. Sorry if any of you are sick of the smut. I swear that is not what the story is about…I mean it took me ages to even get to it. It's just Bella and Edward demand all the sexual attention, they are insatiable!**

**I'd appreciate some reviews, esp about the first half of this chapter, as I had some difficulties. I was writing it when I was stuck in my other story so I don't know if I like it that much. So review please, I eat them up like Edward Cullen or Robert Pattinson dipped in chocolate. Mmm, yummy!**


	25. Chapter 25

**a/n: still not smeyer. **

**Getting right to the point: Hope4more, I love you hard for your reviews. I cannot get enough of them. And Twilighter620 who always leaves me lovely long reviews which I swallow whole (get your minds outta the gutter), psychodancechick89 who seems to be excited for the book Bella got Edward (which she should be), amgglekim (please don't try and hurt me, I love you!) who hopefully will be sending out a new chapter-fingers crossed!, mspacman1 and maddy who I could respond to-thanksfor the reviews, I'mwiththevampires08 I am so happy I got to read such an amazing chapter-dirty eddie at his finest, and BITTENEV who give me lovely reviews that make me smile huge!**

**Story pimpage of the day: L. Jacoby's Life or Something Like it. check it out, I'm sure you'll love it.**

**I'm so happy that the talk with Sue had an overwhelmingly positive response. As did Bella's naughty Santa strip dance for Edward. I should've known better than to think you guys could tire of those two. **

**So here it is, because I love you! (oh, italics in the beginning is a flashback for bella) and also, a warning for those who read this around people…the end is a bit **_**graphic**_**. You've been warned!**

* * *

"Alice, I need you to do me a favor…" I can't believe I was going to ask her this, but I couldn't take it anymore. "I want to come home earlier and I need some money to change my flight."

All I heard was a high pitched squee on the other end of the phone. That was a good sign right?

"Of course I can help you out with that! Oh Edward will be so excited. You have no idea how badly he wanted to just buy a ticket and come out to see you!"

"Really? Well I'm glad he didn't, that would've been expensive." Though what I was asking now would probably be just as if not more so considering how close we were to New Year's. "I'm sorry I'm asking you for this, I'll pay you back I promise. I just can't stand being here anymore."

_I really couldn't. Christmas was…well it was fine for the most part. Jacob was on his best behavior. But that unfortunately meant he wasn't his usual joking self. He spoke to me civilly but didn't have much to say when we were alone. If everyone was together, he would laugh and crack smart ass comments that was true to Jacob form. It irked me that he was acting so differently around me._

_And when I had tried to call him the next day to see if he wanted to hang out, he told me he was busy. But Charlie had gone over to visit Billy and said he saw Jacob just sitting on the couch staring at the TV. I called him again the next day. Billy told me he was out for the rest of the day, even though I'm pretty sure I heard whispered "I'm not here's" in Jakes rough tones. _

_So two days after Christmas I decided to borrow the cruiser, much to my dismay, and pay a surprise visit to my former best friend Jacob Black. I pounded on the door for minutes before I heard Jake yelling "I'm coming!" from the other end. He threw the door open and I was met by a disturbingly nice site: Jake dripping wet with a towel wrapped around his waist. I couldn't help but watch the beads of moisture as they traveled down a surprisingly toned chest. When did Jake fill out so nicely? _

"_Uh, Bella, what are you doing here?" I had to shake my head to clear the thoughts. Jake was a nice piece of eye candy, but he had nothing on Edward. That man was practically chiseled out of marble._

"_I'm here to kick your ass for ignoring me!"_

"_Well, maybe I should put some clothes on before that, just in case." Jacob barked out his distinguishable laugh while I fumed at his cheek._

_He threw on some sweats but stayed shirtless. That fact did not go unnoticed by me, which I think was his point. It made me that much more enraged. He tried to make small talk while I tried not to look at his chest. Like I said, it wasn't as nice as Edward's but that didn't mean it wasn't nice. I didn't like to think things like that about Jake. It felt almost incestuous. _

"_Why are you avoiding me?" I finally blurted it out._

"_Bella." He sighed, looking away. "If you haven't figured it out yet, maybe it's better that you don't at all."_

"_What the hell does that mean?" I just wanted a straight answer. Was that too much to ask for?_

"_I like you Bella." Jacob brought his hands to his face, covering the russet skin that was now slightly flushed._

"_I like you too, so what?"_

"_God Bella, are you gonna make me spell it out?! I. Like. You. More. Than. A. Friend. There. Happy?!" He spat the words at me and I know my cheeks burned red with my blush._

"_Oh. I'm sorry."_

"_It's fine. You didn't know, apparently. There's nothing either one of us can do about it so what's the point of talking about it, right? You have Edward. I have…Quil? Embry? Doesn't matter." Jake stood and started walking to the kitchen._

"_Wait Jake, I don't know what to say. I mean…" I wanted to comfort him. but the truth is, even if I wasn't with Edward, I would never be able to see Jake as anything other than a close friend, if not a brother. _

"_You don't have to say anything. In fact, you should probably get going. The guys are coming over and I need to finish getting ready. I'll just talk to you later." He disappeared behind the wall and I was left to let myself out._

"Oh silly Bella, you don't have to pay me back. I've been dying to find a way to spend money on you for your present since you made me promise not to. This is the perfect way to! So just sit back and let Alice take care of you my dear!"

Uh oh, had I unleashed a monster?

"K, but one thing, don't tell Edward what you're doing. I want it to be a surprise." I smiled and I could almost hear the saliva shifting in Alice's mouth as she did the same thing.

"Ooh, how lovely. He will love that for sure."

I stayed on the phone with Alice as she looked up different airlines and flight times. Every once and awhile I'd hear Edward in the background as he asked what Alice was up to. She always came up with some rather hilarious explanation to which Edward would hurry away. He even called a few times while I was talking to his sister. I'd click over and explain that I was busy with Charlie and Sue and would need to call him back. After awhile it became clear that there weren't very many options available for me to fly back to Chicago.

"Bella, I think this is the best bet. Ok, Delta flight 1056. You'll leave Seattle at 12:58 pm, have a layover in Atlanta then land at 10:25 pm at O'Hare. I'm sorry it couldn't be sooner."

"That's alright, I mean, as long as you're willing to pick me up. Just remember not to say anything to Edward. In fact, if you could convince him to go to sleep early, maybe I could surprise him that night."

"I love the way you think Miss Swan!"

I had to break the news to Charlie that I would be leaving earlier than expected. He took it well, probably because he had Sue now to distract him. It was almost hard saying goodbye to him and Sue, a woman I had grown to care about greatly in my short visit. She gave me a long hug and I felt the wetness from her eyes hit my shoulder.

But I never got a chance to tell Jake I was leaving. I only half heartedly tried getting in touch with him before I left. Things were still awkward and I didn't know how to talk to him anymore. I just hoped he wouldn't be mad at me for leaving without saying goodbye. It might be better this way anyway.

--

Nine hours after being dropped off at the airport and I was finally landing in Chicago. Alice had surprised me by upgrading me to first class. That little minion had found a way to not only spend money on me, but spend a fortune at that! But I wasn't complaining. After seeing some of the people waiting to board on coach I was grateful for the separation. There was this totally creepy guy who was staring at me the entire time we were waiting to board. Every time I caught him staring he'd lick his lips at me. ugh.

I made my way to baggage claim and found the shocking black head of hair that was Alice waiting for me. She had acquired one of those luggage carts for me, which really wasn't that necessary. I only had one bag and my carry on. I guess she thought it would be easier to push it back to her car than to carry it. It actually took a long time for all the luggage to come barreling out onto the turnstile baggage claim. I tried to stay patient, but all I could think was _Edward, Edward, Edward _as each piece of luggage passed me. When my bag finally came out, I grabbed it then turned to Alice.

"Hey do you mind if I go to the bathroom. I want to _freshen up_ a bit before I go and see Edward." I blushed a bit, knowing what I wanted to do there.

"Sure, no problem." Alice gave me a wide smile, one that made me scared she knew my intentions.

Alice followed me towards the women's restroom, coming inside much to my surprise and horror.

"You don't have to come in and wait for me. Why don't you sit outside? It would be a lot more comfortable and a lot less smelly."

"Nonsense. Here." She pushed me, bag and all, into the handicap stall. Before I had a chance to close and lock the door, Alice pushed her way in with me.

"Alice! Get out!"

"I thought I could help. I know what Edward sent you, so I want to make sure you pick out the right one to wear for him."

How did she…Did I want to know? The fact that Alice was aware that her brother bought lingerie for his girlfriend who just so happened to be her best friend was a bit disconcerting.

"I think I can pick something out by myself, thank you very much." I huffed at her as I began unzipping my suitcase. I knew she had no intentions of leaving, so I just tried to act as if she wasn't in a bathroom stall with me as I planned to strip naked and put on sexy lingerie so I could have hot passionate sex with my boyfriend later tonight, or this morning if it took that long to get to him.

"Oh my god. Ew!"

Alice held up a bra and panty set that had been tucked away in the box of "goodies" Edward had sent. They were a "peek a boo" set I guess you would call it. The bra had slits so that it did nothing to cover up the nipples. And the thong also had a slit in it, making it almost crotch less.

"And _this_ is why I didn't want you in here with me." I grumbled at her as I snatched the pair away and shoved them further down into my suitcase.

"Oh my, you weren't planning on wearing _that_ tonight, were you?"

Yes.

"No."

Now I had to hurriedly search for something else to wear for Edward. I wanted something that would wake him up in an instant and have him ready to cum just by the look of me. what can I say? I was denied Edward's cock for too long. I need this, bad.

"Oh! I like this one. You know how much Edward loves you in blue."

Alice held up a royal blue fly away baby doll set. It had lace on top, making it just a bit see through. And it also had a cream colored ribbon that tied just below the bust. Edward could unwrap me then. I loved the thought of it; perfect for our holiday reunion. The bottoms had thick lace around the waist, and barely covered my cheeks. I knew that would turn on Edward because ever since our romp at the piano, I learned he was a bit of an ass man. Just the thought of him spanking me made me wet with anticipation.

God I feel like a nympho.

"Yeah me too." I was barely able to choke the words out. "Now leave Alice, so I can change. And don't argue. I don't care if you've seen me naked before. The first Cullen I want to see me naked after being gone is Edward, not you."

"Ew. Ok fine."

She thankfully left me to change. I made sure to get all the lace and sheer fabric in the right place. When I reached the Cullen home, I didn't want to have to waste time readjusting or anything. I just wanted to run down to the basement and crawl into bed with the most gorgeous man God ever created. After slipping on the most likely expensive lingerie, I pulled on Edward's oversized NU shirt. It would help to hide the flowing fabric underneath. I found a pair of baggy sweats and put those on too. I'm sure Alice was bound to comment on my wardrobe, but it was necessary if I was going to be wearing such skimpy items on underneath.

"Alright! Let's go!" I clapped my hands and felt like my little friend. She rolled her eyes at my excitement and led me to her Porsche.

The drive went quickly. It was late, already after midnight from waiting for my luggage then changing in the bathroom, so there weren't as many cars on the road. I'm sure everyone was inside somewhere warm, it was freezing outside.

"Go ahead." Alice told me as we walked inside the house. Everyone was in bed already, not necessarily sleeping judging by some of the sounds I could hear, and out of the way. No one besides Alice had any clue that I was here. "I'll give you your gift tomorrow after the two of you emerge from your temple of love." She winked at me then gave me a swift kiss on the cheek before turning to go upstairs to an awaiting Jasper I'm sure.

I made my way downstairs as carefully as possible. I didn't want to trip up and fall down them, waking up Edward. I wanted this to be the best surprise ever. I had made plans on how I wanted to wake him up, something I've always wanted to try, but never had the opportunity to do since he usually woke up before me.

Opening his door as quickly and quietly as possible, I slipped in to have as little light shine through. I set my large suitcase down against the wall, out of the way from anything that may happen later tonight, or should I say later this morning. Then, without further interruption I stripped off my baggy clothes and walked over to the giant bed, where I was met with an awe inspiring sight.

There my god of a boyfriend slept, in nothing but a pair of thick plaid pajama pants, covers strewn about him as if he had been tossing and turning in his sleep. Edward lay there, flat on his back with his legs spread apart. Good, that would make things easier for what I had in store. In his left hand, Edward held a framed picture. And on further inspection I realized it was of the two of us kissing in front of the Sears Tower. by this point I was smiling so hard I thought my face would crack in two. I wondered if he slept with it every night. Could he possibly miss me as much as I missed him?

I stood at his feet, staring at his amazing form, feeling the heat radiate from my cheeks as I envisioned how the rest of this night would go. I couldn't think or let myself feel nervous. So I slowly crawled onto the bed, up his body, making my way to his ear. I let my whisper hit his sensitive skin.

"Edward, wake up love."

A slow crooked smile crept onto his handsome face. But I knew that wouldn't wake him up, nothing short of a hurricane could do that. I just wanted to see that lazy grin, the one I hadn't truly seen for too long now.

After staring at his face longer than probably necessary, I moved back down his body. With feather light touches, I brought my hands to the waist of his pants, dragging them down his body ever so slowly. I let out a small gasp when Edward's growing erection sprang out to me, he was going commando. He never slept without underwear, so why tonight? It's like somewhere deep inside he knew what was to come.

I loved Edward's body. No one should look so damn good. It was overwhelming. His hard stomach muscles were so well defined that I could trace out each line perfectly. And the chiseled V that led down his pelvis was so delicious looking I couldn't resist the urge to dart my tongue out and lick along it. It was one of my favorite parts of him.

Edward's dick twitched at the touch of my tongue. He also let out the smallest of whimpers. I wonder if he thought this was a very vivid wet dream. An almost silent chuckle left my lips. I let my tongue trail downward, reaching the base of his penis, slowly licking my way up his shaft and reaching his now engorged head. Edward's penis was heavenly: long and thick and tasty. I could suck on him all the time and get just as much pleasure. In fact, my lacey underwear was already soaked through with just the knowledge of what I was about to do.

Another noise came from Edward's lips. I looked up at his face and saw his brows slightly furrowed. I wondered when he'd finally realize what was going on and wake up fully. My lips parted and I began to take him into my mouth, wanting to swallow him whole. I loved how my lips felt wrapped around him. it just felt right, me pleasing him this way.

I urged myself to keep going down until I felt my nose hit his pubic bone. He was down my throat and I was proud at being able to deep throat him. I let out a deep "mmm" in pleasure as I thought about how good this felt. Edward's dick twitched at the vibrations and then I heard a sharp intake of breath. I withdrew myself slightly, knowing not to push my gag reflexes that much right now.

"Bella?!" I looked up at him through my lashes, taking in a very bewildered Edward. I decided not to respond verbally. I'd let my actions do all the speaking right now. I tightened my mouth around his shaft, swirling my tongue around his head. "Oh god…Bella…w-w-what are you…shit…so good."

Edward's head fell back onto his pillow as his hand came to meet my head. He began to slowly increase my speed, pushing down to lower me more fully on his cock. Edward's grunts and groans got louder and more frequent as I continued sucking him. I brought my mouth up to his head, tasting the pre cum that was slowly dripping out of his slit. I licked it up like a kitten at milk. He tasted so good.

"Ohhh Bella." My mouth left him, my hand taking its place. I pumped hard with my hand, his cock slick from my mouth. I let my lips come down to kiss at the sensitive skin at his sac, licking and nibbling there. "Oh Bella!" I had to repress the giggle at his change of tone. I knew how much he liked it when I went down there. "I'm so close." He grunted out the words and brought my lips back to wrap around him. I wanted him to release inside, I wanted to taste all of him. it had been such a long time and I missed it. With a final grunt and thrust, Edward released inside of me, his warm and salty seed spilling down my throat as I swallowed it all.

I leaned back, licking my lips at his delicious taste, also savoring the afterglow of his orgasm. He was breathing heavily, hands running through the soft bronze locks. Edward's green eyes were staring down at me, now adjusted to the darkness that surrounded us. I smiled at him and saw his lips twitch into one as well.

"What are you doing here?" He finally spoke. Not exactly the words I had been expecting.

"Did you not want me here?" I pouted, knowing he didn't really mean the words like that.

"You bet those fucking sweet lips of yours I do. I just meant how."

"Alice helped me."

Edward reached down to bring me up to his chest. Our faces were centimeters away and he did not hesitate to reach out and crash his lips hard against mine. His lips were soft yet hard against me, moving with a furious need to convey his feelings. I let myself get lost in the kiss, moving just as passionately against his. I could never get enough of this, kissing Edward like this, our arms wrapped around each other in a tight embrace.

"I love you so much Bella. This is the best present you could have ever gotten me." He eyed my outfit, licking his lips when he took in the ample cleavage in front of him.

"But I have some real presents waiting for you over there!" I pointed at my suitcase.

"Really?!" Edward's eyes lit up like a little child's at the mention of presents. I laughed at his reaction to which he gave me a sheepish smile. "What? I just really like presents I guess." I gave him a quick peck then hurried over to my bag. Edward reached over and turned on his lamp, making us both groan at the sudden change, our pupils unwilling to adjust that quickly.

I grabbed my gifts for Edward, the book and the sheet music along with a special something inside the notebook, and walked as quickly as I could back to Edward and the bed. When I returned, I noticed Edward holding a box of a very conspicuous blue color, Tiffany blue to be exact. I squinted my eyes and grimaced at him. That box could only mean one thing, expensive.

"That better not be what I think it is." I put my hands on my hips, which drew Edward's attention to my barely there outfit. He smirked at me as he looked me up and down.

"What, this? This is nothing." He put the box behind his back, reaching for something else that I had not seen. It was large, rectangular and semi flat. It kind of looked like another frame, though I can't imagine what else he could've framed besides the now infamous Eagle shot.

"Edward, what is it?" He had my interest now.

"Open it and find out." He gave me a wink as he handed me the beautifully wrapped item.

I tore into the wrapping to reveal bright colors and inked words. I felt tears in my eyes as I read the passage:

"_I read once that the ancient Egyptians had fifty words for sand_

_& the Eskimos had a hundred words for snow._

_I wish I had a thousand words for love,_

_but all that comes to mind is the way you move against me while you sleep & there are no words for that."_

"Edward, how did you know that I love Brian Andreas?" my cheeks were now wet with the freely flowing tears. Edward's large hand came to meet my face, slowly wiping away the moistened trails.

"It's my job to know." He leaned in to kiss at the corners of my eyes, picking up each drop that threatened to escape.

"Thank you, I love it." I grabbed a hold of his face and pulled him in for a deep kiss.

"Good, then here." Edward brought out the blue box and I felt myself scrunch up my nose.

"I thought you said that was nothing."

"I figured if I waited until after you opened the Andreas print, you'd be a lot more open to this. Don't worry, it's not anything terribly expensive, I promise." Edward brought one hand up to his heart, and even crossed it, a gesture so childish I let a laugh escape.

"I think our ideas of expensive differ extremely." I mumbled as I yanked the small box out of his hand.

It was long and skinny, so I obviously knew it wasn't a ring or earrings. I could be a bracelet, a necklace, a watch, hell, what all do they make at Tiffany's? I undid the black ribbon, and started to ease the lid off with shaking hands. I don't know why I was so nervous, but I was. He may not think whatever this is wasn't expensive, but I'm sure it was not something just any ordinary boyfriend could afford for his girlfriend. When the lid was finally gone, I looked in the box and felt my breath catch.

"Do you like it?"

There, resting in the box, was a multi chain necklace, probably white gold, with a white gold pendant. It resembled a dog tag, rectangular and hanging vertically, only it was much more modern, with rivets down the sides. Engraved on the pendant was Edward's name, spelled going down in elegant script that reminded me of his writing. It also had a small green emerald, so reminiscent of his eyes, at the bottom.

"Edward, I…"

"I mean, I just thought that when you wear it, it's like you have me with you, close to your heart. And I know that you seem to like my eyes so much, so I figured the emerald there is like me always watching over you, for when I can't be with you. And I had them make one for me. So I can have you close to my heart too, since you are always there."

Edward's eyes fluttered closed for a minute as he reached into his night stand and pulled out a more masculine version of my necklace. It was just a single chain, my name written in a more block like script. And at the bottom was a brown topaz, I assumed to represent my dull brown eyes. He slipped the long chain over his head, the silver pendant hanging between each pec.

"Edward…"

"See, the topaz shines like your eyes, though no gemstone can ever compare to the beauty I see every time I look into them. I hope you don't think the necklaces are weird, I just really wanted you to have something that made you think of me always."

"I love it!" I had to kind of speak up so that he would stop with his ranting. I wanted him to know without a shadow of a doubt that his gift was perfect, even if it was expensive. "It's perfect. You have no idea how much I love it." I pulled out the necklace and put it around my neck. "Can you fasten it for me?" I pulled my hair away from my neck and swept it to the side, to hang over my shoulder out of the way.

Edward came behind me, hands tracing along my collarbone as they moved towards the nape of my neck. After fastening the clasp, his fingers lingered at my sensitive skin, tickling me with his light touches. It was also really arousing and I had a hard time stifling the moan building up in my throat. Edward leaned in to kiss me where the necklace touched my skin.

"It looks good on you. Never take it off."

"Never."

Edward kissed up my neck, reaching my jaw, then trailed his sinfully soft lips to my ear.

"Now, it's my turn."

He stepped back and came around to face me, sitting on his bed leisurely. I was suddenly overcome with nerves. Edward had spent so much on me. First the laptop, though I know he swore up and down it was for him it was obviously for me to use. Then the picture of us. That wasn't so expensive, but all the lingerie padding it down sure as hell was. The Brian Andreas print had to cost him quite a bit too, being professionally matted and framed. And then to top it off, the necklace from Tiffany's. Tiffany's just didn't do affordable. I had hardly spent anything on him in comparison.

"Um…ok." I picked up his gifts, holding one in each hand and then putting them behind my back. "Pick a hand."

Edward placed on slender finger to his chin, tapping it thoughtfully. With each movement I felt myself start to sweat under the pressure.

"Ok, the right one."

Shit.

He had picked the composition notebook. That in and of itself didn't make me nervous. I'm pretty sure he'd enjoy that. But I had decided to add something to it. Edward had been begging to read some of my writing, and I had finally acquiesced. Inside I had included some prose, something inspired by him. I didn't know how he'd take it, if he'd like it, what he'd say. If he didn't like it, I'd be able to tell, and I would be crushed. I don't think I'd be able to write again if that were the case.

"Here." I held out the notebook, on the verge of fainting.

**EPOV**

"Why so nervous love? Anything you got for me I will definitely like. You didn't even need to get me anything. That Christmas morning wake up was more than enough." I leaned in to kiss her as I took the present from her hands.

I slowly tore open the present, an immediately recognizable item revealing itself. It was a beautiful composition notebook, something I could definitely use because since being away from Bella, I have had music invading my every thought. Every time I closed my eyes, this melody kept haunting me. It reminded me of Bella, and it seems with her absence, it only grew and formed more. This notebook could help me get it all down, form it into a more coherent song. I hadn't composed anything in almost a year, so it was nice to finally be inspired.

After getting all the paper out of the way, I opened up the notebook to examine the staff paper. Untidy writing caught my eye, writing I immediately recognized as Bella's. She had written on the inside cover; a note or something. I smiled when I realized I had done something similar just months previously, all in an attempt to apologize. That notebook had helped bring us together. But as I looked at the message, I realized it wasn't just some note to me, the lines were set in a form more common in poetry. I began to read quickly, realizing Bella had decided to show me some of her work.

_Your fingers play my body with a skill I've never known_

_Every tap of those soft pads pulls every string of every nerve_

_I vibrate _

_And resonate _

_Deep inside my soul_

_Letting out sweet chords and melodies – all because of you _

_My love_

_Slender and pale they work wonders _

_Cool to my over heated flesh yet_

_Setting me ablaze with passion_

_They search this instrument, discovering every secret_

_Learning every surface of my ivory_

_Committing to memory the pitch and tenor of my voice_

_An arpeggio that transcends all heavenly tunes_

_Fingers dance across the board of my body increasing tempo and fervor_

_Bringing about a slow crescendo of my song – a song that calls to you, _

_Sings to you_

_Your thumb brushes against my key, a grace note struck that you enjoy_

_Fermata in place to be held out_

_Leading to a crashing climax of this ballad_

_For you_

_My love_

_As that last note dies out I know_

_My body is one with that of the pianist_

_He is the master of my instrument_

_And when he must withdraw from me, as he must_

_My body is left longing to be played_

_Again _

By the last line, I felt my sight become cloudy with tears, actual tears. I was never known to cry, but this woman beside me was simply the most sensational creature to grace my presence. She had written this for me? I had inspired this?

It was beautiful, just like her.

It was phenomenal, just like her.

It was the best, just like her.

And she was all mine.

My heart was full of love for this angelic creature. Here I had spent money in attempts to show my feelings. And here was Bella, showing me with her heart and soul just how she felt. She was so much better than I was, so much more deserving of the gift she gave me. I wish I could've given her something that was even a fraction of how monumental this poem was.

"Doyoulikeit?" Bella's face was flushed red as she hurried out her question.

"More than anything. It is beyond words." I felt a tear streak down my cheek as I responded. I felt a little foolish for crying in front of her, but when Bella met my gaze, her face lightened considerably, cracking the smallest of smiles.

"It's that bad that you're crying?" Her smile widened as she poked fun at me.

"Sh. It's so beautiful that I'm crying. It's beautiful, just like you." I rushed towards her, wrapping my arms around her waist and picking her up as I spun in circles.

"Edward!" She squealed in delight as I finally put her down with a rather long and drawn out kiss.

"You wrote that for me?" Bella simply nodded. "You are amazing, has anyone ever told you that before?" Bella's blush returned. "Wow." I wanted to say something more _profound_, but that's all I could get out. She had left me speechless, along with the breathlessness she always brought about.

"I'm glad you like it."

"Wrong, I _love_ it Isabella, just like I love you. Best. Present. Ever."

"Oh, but you didn't even open up the other gift I got you." Bella blushed a fraction while she pouted. I wanted to know what brought on that kind of reaction.

"You didn't need to get me something else."

"Well, it's as much for me is it is for you."

Cryptic.

I opened the last item as quickly as possible, wanting to hurry up and show Bella just how much I loved and appreciated her thoughtfulness. When the paper was thrown aside, I looked down at what I was holding. It was a book, but not just any book. It was the…

"Kama Sutra?" I felt myself smirk at what I was holding.

If it were possible, I felt myself fall in love with this woman even deeper. She had just bared her soul to me, showing me how much she loved me and my _skills._ It was one of the most romantic things ever. And then she goes and shows me her _kinky _side with this book. God, what a perfect woman.

"Bella love, you aren't tired are you?" I eyed her in that lovely blue baby doll, more than radiant in that shade. She looked good enough to eat.

"No, why?" Her breathing had already picked up, pupils beginning to dilate.

"Because," I flipped open the book, coming to rest at a page that showed a rather interesting position, "I'd really like to try this one out: The Pair of Tongs." My lips curled in a rather devious grin as I held out the book for Bella to see. Her eyes widened as she saw what I wanted to do to her. "It may require a bit more _energy_ on your part. But don't worry, I'll support most of your weight." I licked my lips as I thought about spreading her wide and filling her up. "But first, I think I need to repay you for that wake up call."

Before Bella could react, I bounded towards her, sweeping her up off her feet and carrying her to my bed. I threw her down a bit roughly, too impatient to be touching and tasting her the way I had dreamed for the past week and a half. My hands came up to the baby doll, the one barely covering her creamy skin. I ripped it apart without hesitation, too eager to see every last part of her. Bella let out a small yelp, probably upset at me ruining the lingerie I had purchased for her. But I had bought it so I could do with it as I pleased. And right now, it looked better on the floor, torn in two, than on her body. I didn't want it keeping me from the beauty of her breasts. I moved to pull off the panties that hid her beautiful pussy from me. I grazed her slit through the fabric, noticing how wet it was.

"Bella, you are so wet my love." I inhaled her sweet arousal, mouth watering at how I knew she tasted.

"From the moment I saw you in bed. You have that affect on me."

I allowed myself one agonizingly slow lick up her slit, causing Bella to squirm around my face, before separating her slick folds with my fingers and diving right in. My heart stopped for a fraction of a second as I savored her taste. She was so fucking delicious. My memories of her paled in comparison. How could I ever stop from lapping at her beautiful wet cunt? The angel of death could take me away now, I was already in heaven.

"God Edward, that feels so good." I smiled against her hot flesh, proud that I could please her so well.

"I've missed this love," _lick, _"tasting you like this," _lick, _"fucking you with my tongue."

Bella's moans raised in pitch and I realized that her poem to me was dead on. I did memorize the sounds that came out of her luscious mouth. I wanted to remember how she sounded every time I pleased her. I wanted to make her moan like that all the time.

Bella's hips began to buck up against my mouth as her hands tangled in my hair, pushing me down further into her pussy. I knew she was close. Her body was frenzied with the orgasm building up within. She had missed this, that was for sure. I hadn't been working on her long before I felt her quiver uncontrollably and release a thick coating of her juices all over my face. God I loved when she came all over me. I wanted to smell her on me all the time.

"Did you enjoy that love?" Bella nodded lazily, spent from her orgasm. "Good, because I enjoyed it too. So much. But I think we'll enjoy what's next even more." I pulled Bella up and crushed her against my chest, feeling her heart flutter under her chest. "Do you think you have enough energy to do this?" Bella nodded, a little more vigor in the movement.

Her limbs still wrapped around me, I got off the bed so that we could get into the right position. This would be tricky, but glancing over the explanation of it, well worth it. It was supposed to create an "explosive" orgasm for the two of us, something I'm sure we'd feel regardless of how we fucked, but something I wanted to try nonetheless.

I instructed Bella to bring her hands down to the ground to support her weight. When she bent down to comply, I couldn't resist giving her sweet ass a little love tap. Her responding whimper was enough to get my dick twitching and pulsing with desire. I helped bring her legs up, resting her lower calves and feet on the very edge of my bed. She needed to be resting on her left side for this to work. I straddled her, bringing her right leg up and to the side, gripping her thigh, so that just her left leg rested between me.

"Bella, give me your right hand."

"I d-d-on't know if I can."

"Don't worry love, I'll support you, remember?" I wrapped my left arm around her waist, holding her tight in case Bella lost her balance. "Just grip onto my arm ok?"

She took a minute to move, then as if bracing herself, shot her hand up and finding purchase in my well muscled bicep. The movement brought her hot core even closer to my cock, those slick folds sliding against my shaft. I let out a groan, one that rumbled deep in my chest.

"Oh god Bella, are you ready?"

"Yes, please, fuck me, I've been dying to feel you inside me."

Her words made me tremble with want. Oh I'd fuck her alright.

Bella's hips began to move with impatience. I couldn't hold out any longer. I took my hand off her thigh to guide my tip to her entrance, then grabbed on tight, knowing I wouldn't be able to take things slowly. She needed me to hold on tight or she wouldn't stay in place.

With one quick movement, I thrust into her. I almost lost it as I felt her wrap tightly around me. I had to stop moving otherwise I would cum before I even got a chance to enjoy this position. It had been too long, I had been away from her pussy for too long.

"Mm, Edward." Bella moaned as I filled her up completely, sheathing my entire length in that glorious heat.

"Does that feel good Bella? You like my cock inside you?"

"Yes. I need more."

"Your wish, my love."

I withdrew myself slowly, wanting to feel every inch of her pussy walls as they squeezed tight to my shaft. I pulled out, the tip of my head just barely inside her. She began to whimper again, missing the feel of me. I slammed in hard, thrusting with force equal to the love I felt for her. I wanted to bury myself as deep inside her as possible.

"Edward!"

Bella screamed out as I hit her womb, not able to drill inside her any further. It felt so fucking good, filling her to the hilt. I repeated the action, pulling out agonizingly slow and then thrusting in with as much speed as possible. Being on my feet and holding onto Bella gave me incredible leverage as I slammed in hard.

"Fuck Bella, you feel so much tighter." Bella moaned out again as I continued my hard pounding.

"Please Edward, go faster. I need it faster."

I could do faster; I loved fucking her hard and fast. The friction was maddeningly sweet and delicious. As I sped up, I had an amazing view of her tits swaying with the motions our bodies created. Her nipples were taut, slightly darker than usual with her arousal. I wanted to take them in my mouth but couldn't because of the angle we were in.

"Keep your leg up, love."

I tightened my grip around her waist as I let go of her right thigh. Those tits were too tempting to ignore. I had to touch them, caress them, pinch them. I wanted to pull at those hardened nubs, twist them till she screamed so loud the whole house could hear her. And I did just that.

Bella's back arches slightly as I began to work on her tits. The sounds she made were ethereal. Her screams got louder and higher as I worked both her pussy and her rosy nipples. Her walls began to clench around my cock, a sure sign of her orgasm.

"Oh god Edward, holy fucking shit that feels so…ahhh! Fuck me that feels so fucking good. Shit! Fuck!"

Bella normally let out more curse words while we were intimate, but never like this. I smirked as I realized that the orgasm building inside her was so intense she was letting it out in curses. Words had failed her, my beautiful, sexy, normally very verbal girlfriend.

"Love, you have no idea how fucking good you feel wrapped around my cock. I love your pussy."

I took my hand away from her tits and placed them in between her legs, finding her swollen clit, standing erect against her wet pussy lips. My fingers began stroking it, swirling around the sensitive nerves there. And as her walls continued to contract around me, I pinched down hard, twisting her clit.

"Edward!!" Bella's body, slick with sweat, began to shake so hard I almost lost my grip on her.

I had never seen her tremble so much from an orgasm; it was fucking sexy as hell. Her tight pussy began milking me as the orgasm ripped through her body. I knew I was a goner, letting go of the tightness I felt and thrusting into her one last time as I had the most earth shatteringly amazing orgasm I'd ever experienced.

"Fuck!"

The pleasure was so intense it was almost painful, as pulse after fucking pulse I released a stream of my own cum inside her. My orgasm lasted so long I almost blacked out from the bliss. As I finally rode that last wave of pleasure, I became aware of Bella's left arm shaking from the effort of holding up her weight. My grip had loosened around her as I rode out my orgasm.

"Oomph!" Bella slipped out of my hold and slumped to the ground in a heap.

"Bella! I'm so sorry!" I was panting from the exertion of our fucking.

"Don't…apologize…ever." Bella stopped talking to draw in lungful and lungful of breath. "That was incredible. Holy shit Edward." I dropped to my knees beside her, pulling her against me to cradle.

"I know love. How is it that every gift you give me is the best ever? Because _that_ was definitely the best I've ever had. Amazing."

"Mmhmm." I watched as Bella's eyes started to close.

"Let's go to bed love, I think I've worn you out."

"So worth it." She grumbled, voice thick with sleep.

I picked Bella up and placed her gently on my bed, drawing the covers over her so she'd stay warm. She may be sweaty and hot now, but she'd be feeling the cold soon. As I got in next to her curling myself around her small tight body, I remember thinking I am the luckiest man on earth, before falling into the best night's sleep I'd had since my love left for Christmas.

* * *

**Well? What did you all think? Sorry I kinda skipped Christmas day, it just wasn't anything I planned on going into detail about. The important aspect of it was Jacob, which I tried to touch on in Bella's little flashback. So hopefully you're not upset. **

**I hope you enjoyed the rest of the gifts. A lot of you wanted promise rings…but Edward just didn't think it was right to give that to bella yet. I got the idea of the necklace from everyone's thoughts of jewelry, and the topaz from Mdots who suggested topaz in some setting. Did you think I'd use it in reference to bella's eyes? I know normally the topaz is used for Edward, but for vampy eddie. Topaz is the closest stone I could think of for brown eyes. That Brian Andreas print, I own it, a gift from my fabulous husband. It seriously is so beautiful. Check it out if you get a chance. And as far as the poem for Edward..that's my lame attempt at poetry. So hopefully you didn't mind it too much. I just couldn't think of something I liked for their relationship. So I tried to get creative. Meh.**

**And I hope you found their reunion as explosive as I did. If you have no idea what the pair of tongs position is like, google it (lol) because it is quite hot in my opinion.**

**So you know what to do (hopefully by now), review and send me warm wishes or helpful thoughts or interesting ideas. I love it all.**


	26. Chapter 26

**a/n: still not smeyer, duh**

**you guys are so amazing, I cannot even begin to vocalize it enough! Thank you for all the reviews! I think 25 gained me the most reviews per chapter yet! **

**Goodness I love you all. do you know how happy you make me? I had a constant smile on my face. The fact that you seemed to enjoy my little poem had me giddy. And thanks for the kind words about the other gifts and the pair of tongs. I know it was hard to understand by my descriptions (I challenge you to write it better lol). But I was pleased that a lot of you googled it and found how extremely crazy that position was!**

**Story pimpage of the day, or should I say author pimpage: I'mwiththevampires08. I love her for her smutty and interesting stories. I recommend both So, this is love? And Bitter Sweet Symphony. Leave her lovely reviews bc she has a weekend away for work. Ew. Check that shiz out.**

**And I hope you are all excited for this chapter, sooner than normal, tho shorter than normal too (there just wasn't much more to be said). I was ina frenzy trying to get this out before the weekend officially started. Sunday is my mini's first birthday! So this weekend will be spent planning out one hellof a birthday, complete with a yo gabba gabba cake (her fave tv show. Just under 1 yo and she already has a fave? Goodness). Nevertheless, all free time will be away from my lappy and devoted to creating blissful memories with my small fam.**

**Now on to something **_**completely **_**different. Seriously. I'll need your input after this one.**

* * *

**EmPOV** (that's right, you read that correctly)

"Oh god, Rosie, just like that! Keep going!" I was really enjoying the view of the beautiful busty woman riding on my cock. With my hands clasped behind my head, I was feeling quite good indeed.

Rosalie was the hottest fucking thing to ever walk this earth. With perky tits that defied gravity, you'd think they were fake. But God gave her a set so perfect, every woman envied her and every man lusted for her.

Plus she had the tightest little pussy you could ever have the pleasure of fucking. I don't know how she stayed so tight, especially after how many times we had been together. Again, God had a hand in this. It's like he knew I needed a woman who could wrap those sweet lips around my cock over and over again and still feel like it was the first time.

Fuck yeah, I was in heaven. She's perfect and she's mine.

"Emmett!"

Watching Rosalie cum all over my cock was fucking fantastic. Her "o" face was so hot I felt myself pulse and stiffen even harder inside her.

She may have gotten off, but I hadn't yet.

"Get on your knees baby girl."

My Rosie was a good girl. And good girls listened to what they were told.

She got on her knees, that sweet ass popped out in front of me. I trailed a finger along the butterfly tat she had on her left cheek. I loved it on her. She may have a tat, but she was no tramp stamp skank. My baby was classy. A lady on the street and a freak in the bed as Ludacris so nicely put it.

"Are you gonna fuck me or what?"

Oh yeah, I'd fuck her good. She wouldn't be able to walk straight tomorrow. And I'm pretty sure my entire family would be all in my shit tomorrow about keeping them up. Except for Eddie, who was probably pumping himself to thoughts of Bella right about now. He's fucking pussy whipped.

"Now Emmett!"

I guess I was too though. I smirked, though Rosalie couldn't see it, and began to pound into the best pussy ever crafted by the big man upstairs.

My baby girl was getting louder and louder, as her juices started dripping down my cock. Oh, we'd hear about this tomorrow for sure. Not only was she loud, but my headboard banging against the wall wasn't helping either.

It didn't take long before the pussy I loved so much was clamping down around me, Rosalie cursing out her orgasm. I was getting there too. Fuck my cock had a hard time not busting a load at those noises. I started filling her up, in a state of extreme pleasure when I heard a loud pounding on the door.

Fuck, go away! This was taking the enjoyment out of my orgasm damnit.

"Emmett fucking Cullen, shut up or I will come in there and cut your penis off and shove it in your mouth to shut you up!"

Alice. Damn her.

I got to cum, but it was definitely not what I had wanted, hearing my little sister talk about gagging me on my own cock as I did so.

Rose collapsed on the bed. I threw the sheets over her, pulled on my boxers and stomped my way over to my door.

"Alice, you better thank God you knocked when you did. If you were any earlier, you'd have effectively cock blocked me."

"I know. Trust me. In fact, the whole house knows." The little one glared at me.

I had a hard time staying mad at her though. She was just so comically funny, especially when right next to me. I was like the jolly green giant next to Thumbelina. I couldn't help but laugh.

"What the hell is so funny?"

"Nothing. Sorry Ali. I know you hate hearing me. I just can't help it. I have a big personality and an even bigger.."

"Enough! Try harder to be quiet, k? It's awfully difficult for me to get in the mood when I can hear my brother and his girlfriend down the hall. You're not the only one who enjoys nighttime pleasures big brother."

What the…I don't care if Jasper was my friend. No one was allowed to touch my sister like that. Alice was supposed to die a virgin.

Ok, I knew she wasn't a virgin, but a brother could remain blissfully ignorant right?

"Yeah…well maybe Rose and I will go down to the kitchen to find something to eat…clear out a bit…give you some…privacy." I was choking on my words. I did not need some unwanted mental images of Jasper on top of my little sister.

"Probably a good idea." Alice turned and left.

Shudder. Disgusting.

We made our way to the kitchen, Rose wrapped up in just the sheet still. Maybe I could convince her for a round two on the dining room table. That would be fucking sexy as hell.

But first, sustenance. I needed to feed the beast if I wanted to please my woman.

I threw open our fridge, looking for something quick and easy to eat.

Heh, quick and easy.

"Em, baby, do you hear that?"

Rose used her hands to shush me, even though I wasn't speaking, as she wandered around the kitchen, trying to find the source of a noise I had yet to pick up on. I watched as she wandered closer to the door that led to the basement.

As if, that basement was practically sound proof. We had all grown sick of Eddie pouring out his pussy feelings through music.

"Em, come here!" Rosie's ear was pressed against the door.

Getting nearer to her, I heard faint sounds, nothing I could distinguish. All I knew is that it had to be loud, whatever it was, because it was coming through the thick walls and door Carlisle had installed.

"What is it?"

"You don't think Edward has some…hoochie…down there?" Rose turned her wide questioning eyes to me.

"Never. He's a smart kid. He knows better than to fuck things up with Bella. I would rip his throat out if he did. Or take a page from Alice and shove his dick down his throat." My fists balled at my sides at the though. "Besides, no one can be _that_ loud during sex, not even us."

"Yeah, you're right."

"I still wanna know what's going on." I opened the door quietly then started to descend the flight of stairs.

My ears were bombarded with moans and groans.

What the fuck? What is going on here?

"_Yes, please, fuck me, I've been dying to feel you inside me."_

When did Bella get here? And did she really just say that?

"Is that Bella? Sweet, innocent, blushing Bella?" My Rosie was smiling devilishly, more than pleased at this naughty side of our purest friend.

"_Does that feel good Bella? You like my cock inside you?"_

Rosie and I stood frozen on the stairs. This was kinda hot. I wanted to hear more.

But first…

I pulled the cell out of my gym shorts and dialed Jasper. This shit was too good to not share.

"This had better be good Cullen…" Jasper sounded strained.

"Oh it is, get your ass down to the basement, NOW!"

He knew better than to argue with me.

Not a minute later and Jasper was at the top of the stairs, Alice right behind. I could see her menacing face from here. Shit, I had forgotten about her. I bet she was pissed at me.

Whatever. So worth it. they needed to hear this.

"What is going on Cullen? Why did you call me down here during…" Jasper stopped frozen just like me and Rosie. "Holy shit."

"My thoughts exactly."

Rose was giggling. Alice looked a little green. I guess hearing your brother dish out an amazing pounding was a lot different for the little sister's point of view than the older brother's.

"_Oh god Edward, holy fucking shit that feels so…ahhh! Fuck me that feels so fucking good. Shit! Fuck!"_

Holy.

Shit.

Bella had a mouth on her. What was Eddie boy doing to make her swear like that? I wonder if he'd share so I could have Rosie cursing like a sailor. Hm…

"_Love, you have no idea how fucking good you feel wrapped around my cock. I love your pussy."_

"God, it's like a full fledged porn down there!" Alice was covering her ears with those tiny hands.

"_Edward!"_

Sounds like Bella just came. I bet Eddie's not far behind.

"_Fuck!" _

Yup.

"What's going on down here?" I saw the last two people I wanted here.

"Dad! Mom!"

The four of us ran up the stairs, getting the parentals as far from the open door as possible. I didn't realize the door was left completely open once Alice and Jasper had joined us. Of course my parents had heard something. With that door open, there was no reason the whole block didn't hear those nymphos.

"Is everything ok?" Esme, bless her heart, was looking worried.

She heard Edward swear and assumed he had probably hurt himself or something. She had no idea that he was as far from hurt as possible. Exact opposite.

"Yup, just dandy mom." Alice piped up, trying to convince the two that there was no need to linger here.

"Yeah, I'm really tired, we should probably go to sleep." Jasper faked a yawn and slightly stretched his arms out while closing the basement door. It helped block out any sounds that may come from down there…though I think we had heard the last of it, for now at least.

"Hmm." Carlisle was eyeing each of us separately.

We all tried to plaster innocent expressions on our faces.

"Let's go Rosie." I grabbed onto her wrist and tugged her behind me. Time to blow this joint.

"Goodnight mom and dad!" Alice imitated my actions and pulled Jasper behind her with her freakish midget strength.

We ran up the stairs, leaving two very bewildered parents.

--

"Be nice Emmett. You know how easily Bella gets embarrassed."

We had all congregated around the kitchen table the next morning. I was rubbing my hands together in anticipation. I could not wait to tease the hell out of those two.

"You should've told me Bella was coming home last night." I tried to pout at Alice. Somehow I hadn't picked up on that trait of the family. I felt like a dumb ass whenever I did it.

"She wanted to surprise Edward. If I had told you, the whole town would've known Bella was coming in early."

"Ha! Coming!"

"Grow up Emmett." Alice glared at me, but Rosie and Jasper laughed. At least they appreciated my humor.

"Guys! Guess who got in late last night!" Edward and Bella had finally emerged from the basement, both wearing shit eating grins.

"Well _cock_ a doodle doo guys." I winked at Eddie boy who just gave me a confused look. "Look what the _pussy _cat dragged in." I couldn't help it, I was on a roll.

Speaking of rolls, Alice's eyes were doing that right now. I don't see what the reasoning behind that was.

"Um…hi everybody. Did you guys have a good Christmas?" Bella was looking nervously around the room.

"It was _so fucking good_." They were setting me up perfectly.

"Emmett! Language!"

"Sorry mom." Shit, I had forgotten the parentals were still in the kitchen.

"Bella dear, I'm so glad you came back early. Edward's been a mess without you." Esme came to give Bella a quick hug then left to go to the living room.

"Yeah but he sure does _make_ a mess with her." I lowered my voice so only the six of us could hear.

Cue the blushing Bella. How could she swear like that last night yet still feel embarrassed?

"What are you talking about Emmett?" Edward sounded like a fucking snake, hissing the words at me. I wanted to laugh, but knew he'd probably slap me if I did.

"Huh? What? I just mean things will be so much _tighter_ now that Bella is here with us."

Bella's eyes got all big and shit and I'm pretty sure I heard Edward's teeth grinding to dust in his mouth. They were catching on. This shit was hilarious.

"Emmett." Edward was staring me down. If looks could kill…

"So, did you guys already exchange your presents?" Thank you Jasper. But judging by the smirk on pretty boy blondie's face, he already knew the answer. Hell we _all_ already knew the answer.

"Yup." Eddie boy popped the P at the end, probably pretty smug about last night.

"So what did you get Eddie Bella?" My Rosie was leaning in, waiting to hear the details.

"Um some composition notebook and I gave him some of my writing…" Bella trailed off, leaving us hanging. There had to be something else.

"And a pair of tongs." Edward put his hand to his mouth when he realized he spoke.

What the hell? A pair of tongs? Were they into some kind of freaky shit?

"Oh my god! Ew!" Alice was flapping her hands around like she was trying to shoo away some gnats.

But Bella turned bright red. Hm, it was something freaky then.

"Is that what had you screaming so loud?" I couldn't help it. I had to know.

"Oh my god." Bella muttered into her hands, trying to hide from us all. I swear if there were some sand around, her head would be buried in that.

"Emmett!" Edward stood up, hovering over me like he would punch me any second. Bring it on little bro.

"It's not Em's fault you two are so loud we could hear you from the kitchen. What happened to sound proof walls and doors?!" Rosie stood up, ready to defend my honor. She was a silly thing.

"What?!" Bella gasped pretty damn loud as she looked up to see if we were telling the truth. She turned to look at all of us as we each nodded. "You heard us…last night…doing…."

"Why were you downstairs that late at night?" Edward still looked pissed off.

"Hungry."

"Figures." Edward rolled his eyes, he looked like such a girl when he did that. "But that doesn't explain why you were _all _downstairs."

"Once me and Rosie heard what was going on, I had to share the wealth." I shrugged my shoulders at him. Made sense in my mind.

"So, it was that good huh?" Rosie was eyeing Bella. My little perverted love.

"No offense, but I don't want to hear this. I'm gonna go. C'mon Jazz." Short stuff got up and held her hand out for him.

"Um, I kinda want to hear it." Well hot damn, looks like _Jazz_ was a bit of a perv too. He wanted to hear what was going on last night as much as me and Rosie.

"Well I don't want to talk about it." Bella stood up, still beet red but with anger in those big brown eyes.

"How about…" Jazz was asking.

"No."

"What about…" Rosie was pleading.

"No."

"Not even a little…" I was straight up begging.

"No." Damnit Bella.

"Ok fine. Can you at least answer one question?"

"Maybe." Bella looked cautious.

"What the hell does a pair of tongs have to do with it?"

"Two words Em: Kama. Sutra." Edward had that cocky look on his face again.

"What?!" I wanted to ask more but just then the 'rents walked back into the kitchen.

"You guys excited for the big New Year's party tomorrow?"

God damnit, could they walk in at a worse time? I wanted to know even more now. I would have to google that shit. Whatever a pair of tongs meant, it had to be good.

--

**BPOV**

"New Year's party?"

Thank god Esme and Carlisle walked in whey they did. I couldn't handle this conversation anymore. Had everyone really heard Edward and me last night? were we really that loud? The thought was mortifying and I just wanted the ground beneath me to open up and swallow me.

"Didn't Edward tell you dear? Every year we host a party here."

"Perhaps our son was a bit busy and forgot." Carlisle was eyeing Edward.

"Well, it's kind of big, a black tie event and everything. It's always so fun, but this year's will be even better now that Edward has a date!" Esme clapped her hands. Is that where Alice learned it from?

"Oh." My lips curved down into a frown. It was a black tie event. I didn't own anything nice enough for a party like the one Esme was describing.

"What's the matter, love?" Edward wrapped his arms around me once he saw my sad face.

"Nothing really, I just don't have anything to wear for the party."

"We can go get you something." He gave me a crooked grin, probably trying to comfort me at the thought of having to buy a nice dress.

"No you don't. I almost forgot my present for you Bella!" Alice dropped Jasper's hand and reached out for mine, pulling me away from Edward.

"Have fun love!" laughter danced in his green eyes. He knew I hated being fawned over by his sister.

"Edward." Carlisle quietly spoke his name, stepping up to him in my absence. I watched as Edward's dad leaned in to whisper in his ear. The smallest of blushes graced those beautiful cheeks as Edward nodded to whatever Carlisle had told him.

I wonder what that was about.

"Just so you know, Esme may be in denial about last night's 'events' but I'm pretty sure Carlisle is in the know."

"Oh god Alice. The whole house heard us? That is not what I had intended. This is so embarrassing."

"Don't worry hun, it's not a big deal. It's not as if we don't hear Emmett and Rose every night they're here."

"Doesn't really make me feel any better."

"well maybe knowing that they are probably jealous will. I don't think they've ever been that loud!" Alice winked at me, which coaxed a reluctant giggle from my lips. "Ok, close your eyes Bella. I want this to be a surprise!" That of course made me groan. She knows I hate surprises.

When I opened my eyes I was staring at the most gorgeous dress I'd ever seen. It was a pale light blue, almost shimmering from the light reflecting off it. It was the color of the shallow pools of crystal waters surrounding tropical islands. It was strapless and floor length with an empire waist. Around the empire waist was a beaded bodice, silver and striking against the pale blue fabric.

"It's so beautiful Alice. This must have cost you a fortune. I thought I asked you not to spend any money on me?" I felt bad that she had probably dished out quite a fortune for this gown.

"No silly, I made it! I had the fabric already so absolutely no money was spent on it."

My jaw hit the floor.

"You made this?" How had I never realized just how talented Alice was before.

"Of course. I don't just have brains, I have talent too." She smiled hugely at me. "Now let's see how it fits, shall we?"

The fabric was silk taffeta and light as a feather around my curves. Of course it fit fabulously. When I was all zipped up, I twirled around to get a feel of it. this dress was made for dancing, and even though I wasn't the best formal dancer, I had a feeling Edward was. I was interrupted from my daydreaming with a knock on the door.

"Alice, Bella, can I come in?"

"No!" we shouted together.

"Don't even think about opening that door Edward. This dress is supposed to be a surprise for tomorrow evening."

"I hope it'll be as good a surprise as last night's." I could hear him smiling through the door.

"Shut up Edward!" we again yelled out in unison.

Once we heard Edward's retreating grumbles, Alice turned to look at me. I heard her gasp softly.

"It's beautiful!"

"Well of course it is, you made it!" I wondered why Alice sounded so surprised at her own handiwork.

"Not my dress. I already know that's beyond beautiful. I'm talking about this." She reached out and fingered the expensive pendant that would remain around my neck for as long as Edward wanted me, and probably longer. "When did he give you this? I didn't know he had even bought that!"

"Last night. He told me to wear it always so that he could always be near me, even if he couldn't physically do so." I began to toy with the necklace, rubbing the pad of my thumb across Edward's name.

"He's so corny sometimes." I'm pretty sure Alice was trying to sound condescending, but the tears glistening in her eyes said otherwise.

"And I love him for it."

"Me too."

Alice rushed over and stretched out her arms to bring me into a mini sized bear hug. We stood like that for a few minutes, blinking back tears as we embraced each other tightly.

"Aw, well isn't this such a touching _Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants_ moment. What are you two blubbering about?" Rose was spending too much free time with her boyfriend.

"Just about how amazing Edward is." I sighed out the words as I thought back to Edward's words last night. He was too perfect.

"Yeah, he has to be if he's got you screaming like that!"

"Rose!" Alice and I chimed in together again.

--

The rest of the day was spent preparing for the Cullens' annual New Year's Eve party. Esme channeled Alice, or Alice channeled Esme, whatever, because they both turned into party planning Nazis. I have to admit, my arms were a bit tired from last night, having to support my body. So all the hanging of decorations was wearing on my body. Edward helped out whenever he could, rescuing me from having to re-hang anything that may have fallen do to my shaky arms.

We tried to be discrete, because it seems that Emmett and Rose had decided to google "pair of tongs" and "kama sutra" and discovered what exactly Edward and I had done last night. anytime they noticed me wince while lifting something, they'd start nudging each other with their elbows and giggling like little children. If the shoe fits…

When we had hung the last of the decorations, I took a step back to admire our work. The Cullens' place had been transformed into a winter wonderland of sorts. Everything looked "frosted" over, borrowing the term from Kate Hudson.

Esme had purchased several white "Christmas" trees and had them placed throughout the house. The tallest, standing at nine feet, was placed in the foyer, next to the spiral staircase. The railings of said staircase were wrapped in glistening gossamer strands that sparkled. That sparkle radiated and hit each branch of the white tree, making the entire room glow with light.

The living room had been cleared of as many unnecessary items as possible. All that remained was seating for all the guests. Even the end and coffee tables had been removed and replaced with brilliantly shined chrome accent tables, higher than normal so that standees could easily rest drinks on them. All along the fireplace mantel stood sterling silver candlesticks, holding long tapered candles, that when lit, created a very warm ambiance.

The bar in the dining room held many crystal liquor decanters lined the shelves, catching as much light as everything else in the room. Each piece of stemware was rimmed with coarse raw sugar, making it look dusted with snow. The thought of drinking anything from one of those glasses had me licking my lips.

I just couldn't believe I was about to take part of such a beautiful party. I felt like I was living in a fairy tale. And once I got in that dress, I'd feel even more like Cinderella. Good thing I already had my prince charming. That way if I lost my "glass slipper" which could so happen with my clumsiness, he'd know right where to find me.

--

I had a hard time sleeping that night. my mind was full of waltzes and caviar and ritzy people schmoozing around the house. I imagined Edward would look devastatingly handsome in a tux, even if he complained about being stuck in a "monkey suit" for the entire evening. His hand resting on my lower back as he guided me around the dance floor would be gentle yet firm against my skin, making sure I didn't careen into unsuspecting dancers. And when the clock struck midnight and we all toasted to the new year, Edward and I would share one hell of a passionate kiss to the beginning of an even greater year than this one.

"Love, is everything alright?"

Edward was laying on his back, with me pressed into his side, playing with the chains on my necklace. It was already becoming a habit of his. Whenever he fell into a peaceful silence, he'd gently stroke at the necklace, often times withdrawing just to resume the actions on the chain around his neck. It was endearing. It made me realize just how often he thought about me, even if he didn't realize it.

"Of course, I'm here with you." Edward smiled and leaned down to capture my lips in a kiss. Instinctively I moaned at his taste, wanting to deepen the kiss and take this somewhere else.

"I think we should take the night off love."

What?

My body language must've tipped him off to the shock I felt at Edward suggesting we not have sex tonight.

"I think you need a good night's rest. You look pretty worn out." Edward's lips moved to my forehead and gave me a tender kiss.

"I suppose you're right." I let out a sigh of both disappointment and relief. It seemed I was perpetually in the mood, but my body did not want to comply with my heart's desire.

"Besides, something that Carlisle mentioned to me has got me thinking."

"Oh? And what's that?"

"It's not important right now. What is, is you sleeping. We have a big day tomorrow. You think the worst was decorating? Ha ha, you'll find out the craziness has only just begun." He placed another loving kiss to my forehead, then each cheek, the tip of my nose, and finally my eager lips. He let me draw it out just a bit, before pulling away to bid me a goodnight.

"Goodnight Edward. I'm so excited for tomorrow night. I love you." I let my eyes close as I nuzzled into the neck of my own personal Prince Charming.

**Well? What did you all think? Did you enjoy Emmett? I had an interesting time with him. writing from his POV is a lot different. I had never planned on doing any pov other than e or b, but em was screaming for some attention, that baby. And hopefully you found that whole interaction funny. You just know if Emmett overheard their sexy time he'd find it "exciting" lol**

**And next chapt is the party. It'll include something that Hope4More was asking about. But I won't say what it is…it's a surprise ;)**

**Please send me some love in the form of reviews. If you do, I'll send Edward over with a certain book and show you the way of the tongs. woo**


	27. Chapter 27

**a/n: not smeyer, are you sick of that yet?  
****Sorry, this was totally supposed to come out yesterday, but there were a lot of happenings in the world of 4theluvofmary. So to all that I promised of having a chapter out then, forgive me please.  
thank you all for your reviews. You're the best. Ever.  
****And while you may not always agree with where I take things, just so you know, calling me a pathetically retarded moron is not a help for your cause. Next time maybe be polite. I'm much more responsive that way  
****Story pimpage for this chapter: (2 today for your reading pleasure) **_**Hiding in Plain Site by limona.**_** Love it. I can't wait to see what happens next to our favorite brunette in witness relocation. and **_**Total Eclipse of the Heart by Ashel-13 and HaydenMCullen**_** because Edward as a bodyguard is delicious and she gave me a lovely shout out in the last chapter. Kisses to you.  
****I'm skipping out on my usual long a/n (too late?) because I'm pissy right now. Thanks to all who wished my mini a happy birthday. It was great. Oh, and I have news on my hand for those friends who'd like to know. If you want to chat, hit me up with a pm.  
Here's one whole chapter of unadultered Edward. I love him, but then again, who doesn't?**

* * *

**EPOV**

_Damn this monkey suit_. I stood in front of the full length mirror in my room, looking over my appearance, surveying the sight. _Why do tuxes have to be so constricting? And a bowtie, come on now_. I tried to get it to lay straight on my neck, but it kept leaning to the side. I guess Esme would have to help me with it…again. I could never get it right.

Sometimes I found it so pointless that my family did this every year. But now, with Bella at my side, I did have a bit warmer feelings towards this party. I would be able to dance the night away with the most beautiful woman God had ever created. I guess I could suffer being uncomfortable for one night. I'm sure she'll look ravishing in whatever she is wearing. God how I wanted to ravish her. Last night, letting her sleep instead of taking her and fucking her like I wanted to was by far one of the hardest (no pun intended) things I'd ever had to do.

But Carlisle's words kept coming back to me. Damn him. He was right, as usual.

_He approached me as soon as Alice pulled Bella away from me. I wondered why he was coming in to whisper in my ear. It's not like this family had many secrets; we all knew pretty much what everyone else was up to, except for the more intimate details of course…of course, that kind of changed the other night when my siblings, along with their significant others, had "overheard" us. More like let their perverted voyeuristic tendencies come out._

"_Edward, about last night and that rather…exuberant show of affection…we should talk later."_

_Did he really just say that to me? I hadn't realized my parents had been a part of that debacle last night. I could feel a slight flush enter my cheeks and I almost chuckled at myself. Is this how Bella felt all the time?_

_I was nervous though. What could he possibly say to me? did I even want to hear it? I know that Carlisle and I are close, but was this crossing some kind of weird parental boundary? I hardly needed any tips from him. I'm sure he knew a thing or two, but I probably knew a thing or ten more than he did. I guess those are the consequences of being a slight man whore, for good or bad._

_I was kind of dreading whatever it was Carlisle wanted to say. Maybe he was going to scold me like a child; warn me about the dangers of teenage pregnancy, tell me to wrap it up before I dive in, ask me if Bella was on the pill. _

_So I avoided him as much as possible. It was kind of hard, considering Bella was gone in the clutches of fashion hell I'm sure, and Emmett, Jasper and Rose were already preoccupied with helping my mother clear things out for the party. I tried to busy myself over..i don't know, anything… as long as I looked busy. But Carlisle knew better. He cornered me in the kitchen as I was scrubbing the already clean plate so hard it would probably leave scratches. Esme would kill me for ruining her dinnerware. _

"_Son, can you join me in my study?" He draped one arm across my shoulders, gripping tightly in case I tried to make a run for it. I wouldn't, though the mere mention of accompanying him in his study made me grimace. That study was the place of so many awkward conversations growing up. _

_Like the time he took it upon himself to teach me all the proper names for both male and female genitalia, when I was 8. He had a diagram and everything, along with a pointer that he made me use when he called out a body part. ugh, that was just too embarrassing. Can you even imagine having to point out the clitoris to your father? Though it was helpful in the long run. I guess you could say it was due to Carlisle's persistence to educate that turned me into the sexual being I am today. Maybe I should thank him for that._

_I set the plate down and turned around, his arm still holding me in close proximity, as we headed up the stairs to his study. When we walked in, he closed the door and locked it. _

_That's odd. _

_I gave him a quick glance in question._

"_The last thing I want is for your mother to come walking in." He shrugged at me and went to sit at his desk._

_I hated that he sat there, like some principal about to serve out punishment to a disobedient child. It would be a lot easier if he just came and sat next to me on the couch he had in here. I just don't think he could relax out of that authoritative figure type for long when he was in this room._

_I waited for him to begin speaking. This was, after all, what he wanted. But he just sat there and stared at me, eyebrows furrowing every few seconds, lips pursing in a tight line. I don't know what had him so worked up. I wanted to yell at him to just spit it out already._

"_Dad, what is going on?" this was starting to annoy me. I could use this time to go sneak Bella away so we could…_

"_I don't know really how else to word this, so I guess I'll just say it." That interrupted my chain of thought, probably a good thing since I didn't need to be sporting an erection in my dad's study. "While fucking may be nice, sometimes it's not always the right thing to do."_

"_What the fuck?" I meant to just think that, but realized I had blurted out the words in my complete state of shock._

_Carlisle let out a little cough, as if trying to ignore the fact that I had just sworn, no matter that he had just said the same word. It may be in different context, but still.._

"_You love Bella, don't you?" He decided to forgo chastising me and get straight to whatever twisted point he was getting to._

_I let out a rather weak yes._

"_How much?" _

_I don't think I had ever been asked that before. And I don't know if I could properly express it in words. _

"_Um..a lot?" _

_Carlisle gave me a withering look before responding._

"_You can do better than that."_

"_More than I thought possible." And then, just like that, the word vomit overtook me and I found myself uttering thoughts I had never spoken aloud. "When I'm with her, it's like I finally feel alive. There's this passion inside me that I've never felt before. When we're apart I can't breathe right, like my lungs don't function without her. And I'm so worried about the future. Med school could very well take me away from her and then what? I would want her to wait for me, but she shouldn't have to. She shouldn't have to put her life on hold for me, she deserves better. But I can't not be with her, I don't think I could survive, I just would be a mess without…"_

"_So it's safe to say you love her a lot?" Carlisle cut me off, knowing my ranting could go on for quite awhile, a downward spiral to the depths of self pity and loathing._

_I let out a dry laugh._

"_Yes, more than anything else, more than myself."_

"_Then you should show her that." _

_Isn't that what I had been trying to do?_

"_Edward, what I said before…it may be nice to just…go balls deep all the time," I winced at his phrasing. Balls deep and Carlisle should not be paired up together, ever. "But what a woman like Bella needs is tenderness. You should be showing her your feelings through your physical connection."_

_Well shit. I hadn't been expecting that._

_But hadn't that been the reason for waiting so long in the first place? Hadn't I wanted to make our first time "perfect" and "right" so she would know how I felt? Hadn't I wanted to pour out my love for her through our intimacy, as Carlisle was suggesting?_

_How had I forgotten about that? _

_Probably because now I knew how tight she felt. And that tightness around me made me lose all thought processes. _

_But that wasn't an excuse. It wasn't. Carlisle was right, it wasn't just about fucking, as disturbing as that thought seemed coming from his mouth. We could still fuck, but we needed to make love more, like that first time. I had felt so connected to her, literally one with my beautiful Bella. _

"_Did any of that make any sense, Edward?" _

"_Yeah, it did…thanks." I stood up to leave, to ponder over Carlisle's words to me._

"_What were you…" Carlisle shook his head a bit. "Nevermind. I don't think I even want to know what you were doing that had you two that loud." I couldn't help but smirk a bit at the burning curiosity of my father. Pair of Tongs was probably too much for the old man to handle._

I stared at myself in the mirror again, futilely fussing over my hair. Tonight I wanted to look at my best for Bella, wanted to "dazzle" her as she so lovingly referred to it once. Hands still tugging and smoothing at my hair, I was interrupted by my door creaking open slowly.

Maybe Bella had snuck away for a minute to come see me. I smiled at the thought. She had been busy all day long with the food preparations. Bella, being a naturally good cook, was a great help to Esme, who always refused to cater out her parties. She preferred doing everything herself.

"Oh, Edward…what are you doing here?"

The smile that was creeping on my face left the instant I turned to see Emmett standing in my doorway.

"It's my room dumbass. What are _you_ doing here?" Emmett's presence was an annoyance right now, because I was already past that point with the mess on top of my head. "Stupid hair." I muttered quietly to myself.

"Dude, when did you become such a chick? It's just hair. I'm pretty sure it'll look way worse once Bella gets her hands on you." Emmett bounded towards me to slap one meaty paw on my back, guffawing at his words.

"Right. So again, what are _you_ doing here Emmett?" my redirection to the question had him stop mid laugh.

"Just coming to check to make sure you're almost ready. You know how mom feels about us dawdling the night of her party." Emmett got that shifty eye look.

"So why were you surprised to see me here?" Emmett's eyes bulged out a bit, then his head whipped to look over his shoulder.

"What was that?" He yelled out. "Oh, Rose is calling for me." Emmett took off at that.

Rose didn't call him. I didn't hear her, and we all knew who had the best hearing out of the whole family. What was that guy up to?

Shortly after that odd exchange, I headed upstairs to the main floor, where all the guys were now standing around, clearly bored waiting for the guests to arrive.

I noticed Emmett and Jasper giving each other furtive glances, trying to silently communicate something to one another. Carlisle was chuckling at the two, which instantly made me feel left out of whatever had been going on before I arrived.

"Edward, are you already packing up to head back over to NU?" Jasper asked me out of nowhere.

"Uh, a little bit…why?"

"Oh, just wondering. Did you pack up all your Christmas gifts?"

"Maybe?" This was just getting weirder by the minute.

But before I had a chance to contemplate on the direction of this conversation, the women in our lives began descending the spiral staircase, making quite the entrance.

My eyes quickly swept past my mother, sister, and brother's girlfriend, searching for my Bella. But she was not with them. When they had reached the bottom of the steps, I heard a soft swishing coming from the top of the stairs. I hungrily sought out my beloved girlfriend, happy to see her standing at the top, hands gripping tightly to the banister.

She was a vision.

The soft glimmering from the surrounding décor bounced off her pale skin, making her glow irresistibly. Her gown was a shimmering cascade of water, flowing over her curves and making her look like some Grecian water nymph.

She gingerly picked up the skirt, not wanting to trip over the copious amount of fabric there, revealing sinfully high silver heels adorned with crystals that also caught the lights and sparkled like diamonds. While some heels may scream "fuck me," those whispered "love me," something I intended on doing for the rest of my life.

The beading under her bust glistened under the lights, bouncing their prisms across the room, but drawing my eyes to her ample cleavage. I wondered briefly if she was wearing a bra with that dress.

But what drew my gaze, like a boat honed in on the beacon of a lighthouse, was the pendant resting just between her beautiful breasts. All of the glowing, glistening, sparkling, and whatnot, had nothing on the way the light danced across the necklace I had given her. It shone the brightest among all the twinkling. And I reveled in the fact that it was _my_ name around her neck, _my _name that she chose to keep close to her heart, _my _name that would be the only one uttered from her soft pink lips in the ecstasy of our passion.

I needed her, right now, and the party hadn't even begun. I wanted to worship her, slowly caress every inch of her skin, pay homage to the goddess that she was.

Carlisle must have recognized the look in my eyes, because he patted my back for a bit before speaking.

"See? I was right, wasn't I?" He winked at me before meeting up with my mother, pulling her into a loving embrace.

I noticed the others in similar greeting, showering affections upon one another, so very much still in love, if not more so than when they first got together.

It made me ache to be away from Bella, even if it was just by mere feet. I could not wait for her to come to me. I lithely moved towards her, still descending the stairs. She had only a few steps to travel down, before I picked her up bridal style and twirled her around me.

"Edward!" She squealed in delight before I leaned in to kiss her.

"You look…well there are simply no words to describe it, love. You are so much more than beautiful. More than heavenly, even. How do you do it?" I nuzzled into the sweet skin where shoulder and neck meet.

"Do what?" she replied somewhat breathlessly.

"Stun me with your beauty more and more each day. I didn't think it possible for you to be even more beautiful than you already are. It's hardly fair to the rest of the women. You put them all to shame. Lucky me though." I winked at her as I continued to place feather light kisses along the column of her neck.

"Edward, I-I-I think y-y-you should p-p-put me down n-n-now."

"Why?" I pouted at her, knowing she couldn't resist the Cullen charm.

"Because I don't want to do anything _indecent _in front of your family."

I chuckled as I set her down, trying to discretely adjust myself in the horridly uncomfortable tuxedo pants.

"You're bowtie is crooked by the way."

Bella's petite hands came up to adjust my tie, pulling and tugging at it to straighten it with amazing ability. A flash of Bella, ring on finger, straightening my tie as we made our first appearance as Mr. and Mrs. momentarily blinded me.

Where did that come from?

Should I be alarmed that the thought excited me?

"There, all done. You look rather dashing by the way." Bella stood on tip toe to meet me for a kiss, the distance not so startling with the advantage of her heels.

"Thank you."

The doorbell rang, tearing us away from the private moment we had been sharing.

--

Carlisle had invited many of his peers from the hospital to the party. He wanted them to meet me, wanted me to impress them. Carlisle was holding out hope that I would attend Northwestern's medical program so I could stay close to home. These gentlemen served just one purpose, to convince me of the benefits of attending school here, sell me on Northwestern.

It was slightly humorous.

I remember hearing stories of how Carlisle was hell bent on attending Harvard's medical program, turning down school after school, until his parents started to worry he'd end up nowhere. Finally, when things were looking rather grim, Carlisle had received that ever beautiful gift, his acceptance letter to Harvard Medical.

It's not as if Northwestern's program was poor by any means. It just wasn't Johns Hopkins. That was my dream, my illustrious white whale I was intent on catching.

"So Edward, what field are you looking into?" A very walrus like man asked me, large mustache twitching with every word he spoke, as he patted his rather bulbous stomach.

"I'm really interested in the surgical field, perhaps neurological…"

"Ah, a fine choice indeed. Perhaps I should introduce you to my colleague. He is a skilled neurosurgeon. Oh…" The walrus man called out to someone, but I didn't bother catching his name.

Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed someone talking to Bella. Someone older, male, and too close to my girlfriend for my likings.

"I'm sorry Mr. W…" I had to bite my tongue as I almost called him Mr. Walrus. I had forgotten his real name. "Please excuse me."

"Ah, _Bella,_ it is a pleasure to make your acquaintance." His words carried over the light music and low babble of the party goers. The loathsome creature reached out and took hold of Bella's hand, bringing it up to his lips to place a rather slobbery kiss there.

"Um, yes..the same, Mr…" Bella looked more than uncomfortable as this hound began to shamelessly flirt with her. Even still, my beautiful Bella was always the polite one.

"Please, call me Aro." His voice rang back with just a hint of a Mediterranean accent. "Would you care to dance?"

"Uh.." Bella began, eyes darting around, something I noticed even from my distance. "I don't think.."

"Nonsense. You would do me a great honor by accepting my proposition." I could see those ugly lips sneer just a fraction. No doubt he had other propositions floating through the filth of his mind.

I quickened my pace, lengthening my stride so I could come to the rescue. I did not want his hands touching any more of her tonight, or ever.

"Excuse me." I spat out the words, trying with all my might to remain polite for my parents' sake. "Bella, my love, join me in a dance?"

"Of course." She let out a sigh of relief as she took hold of my hand, squeezing it briefly in a wordless thanks.

I pulled her away, twirling her as we went, admiring how the soft silk floated around her as she moved. She had never looked so graceful before. And judging by the look on her face, she'd never felt this graceful before. She let out a giddy laugh as we came to a stop in the middle of the dance floor.

"Maybe we should go get some antibacterial first, cleanse you of those disgusting lips." I sneered at the thought of that Aro man kissing her hand.

"Don't overreact Edward. He was just being a bit over friendly."

"Right…and I'm the queen of England." I rolled my eyes at Bella's attempts to downplay the situation.

"No, you're just being absurd, silly boy." Bella stepped even closer to my body, erasing any space between our bodies.

I loved how the curves of her body fit against the planes of mine with perfection, as if we were meant to be like this. She was my other half, a puzzle piece missing to complete the whole picture.

"Shall we?" I took hold of her hand and outstretched it, ready to lead her in a slow dance across the room as "Unforgettable" began playing in the background.

"Just be careful, I don't want to step on your toes. These heels would probably stab holes in your feet."

"Now who's being silly? You won't hurt me. I'm an excellent dancer. It's all in the leading anyway." I winked at her as we continued our travel across the dance floor.

Dancing with Bella was extraordinary. When we moved together, it was as if everything floated away. It didn't matter that we were in the middle of a party, surrounded by countless of people. As far as I was concerned, we were the only two in the room. It was just me and Bella, always just the two of us.

"You are an excellent dancer." Bella seemed to have a scowl on her face.

"And that's a bad thing why?"

"Because, you're too good at _everything_. It's hardly fair. For once I'd like to better at something than you."

"Like that thing you do with your tongue and teeth when you…" I couldn't help but bring it up. She had an amazing mouth.

"Edward!" She smacked me playfully, resulting in a rather boisterous laugh from me. "Besides, that doesn't count."

"Why not?"

"Because, correct me if I'm wrong, but you don't have any experience with that particular _thing_. So of course I'm better at it than you." She huffed at me.

"Bella, don't you know that you are so far above me in every way that there is no comparison?" I leaned my head in to nuzzle against the warm skin on her cheek. I could feel it heat up as she blushed.

"I love you Edward."

"Not as much as I love you, my Bella." I leaned in to capture her lips in a sweet kiss.

She tried to deepen it, but how I was feeling from the moment I laid eyes on her, that would be a dangerous action indeed. So I reluctantly pulled away, reminding me forcefully of last night, when I had told her to rest instead of take her like I had wanted. That made my hardening cock twitch slightly.

Bella must have felt it, because she ground into me then her tinkling laughter filled my ears.

"Is there a problem, Mr. Cullen?"

"Yes, a rather big one at that. Maybe we should go get something to drink.."

I let Bella walk in front of me as I led her towards the bar. The point was to hide my erection as we walked, allowing myself time to calm down. But it had the reverse effect, having Bella's ass sway back and forth in front of me, so tantalizingly close to my groin.

When we got closer, I saw Rose and Emmett huddled close together, exchanging feverish whispers to each other as they gave pointed looks at Jasper, standing across the room with Alice. Emmett even pointed at him, shaking his head furiously as Rose giggled behind her hand.

"What's going on guys?" Bella asked as she walked up to the couple.

"Uh, nothing." Emmett's eyes widened a bit, and I was reminded of how he had looked when he saw I was standing in my bedroom.

"What are you up to Emmett?" I narrowed my eyes at him, knowing he was up to something.

"Oh, it's just a little friendly bet with Jasper, nothing important." Rose tried to dismiss the situation at hand.

"Just don't do anything that would disrupt the party. Esme will not be pleased if you do anything to embarrass her tonight."

"Don't worry, if all goes according to plan, the only disruptions that will occur will be when we are all alone." Emmett turned to Rose and winked at her, which made her giggling increase in pitch.

"I don't think I want to know." Bella muttered as we stepped up to the bartender. "Just a coke for me please."

"C'mon Bella, it's New Year's. That's practically permission for underage drinking." Rose nodded her head at Bella as if what she said was common knowledge.

"I'll pass for now."

"At least say you'll have a glass of champagne when the countdown strikes zero!" Emmett looked incredulous at Bella's lack of interest in any alcohol.

But I was secretly glad at her reluctance to drink. She didn't have a good track record for tolerance with the stuff. In fact, last time she drank, she had started rubbing herself all over me, asking me if I wanted to fuck her. And as much as that's a turn on, it's hardly appropriate for a party like this.

We stood around, sipping our drinks casually as we talked about the next semester. It was hard knowing that I wouldn't be a part of things like normally. Everyone else would be immersed in NU activities and classes while I shut my self away to study for the MCATs. While they were all enjoying their free time, I would be berating myself to learn as much as possible in preparation. Bella would be free to go and do as she pleased and I wanted to spend all my time with her, but that time would be limited as I holed away in my room.

"I'm pretty excited about it." Emmett sounded as if he were answering a question.

"That _is_ exciting! Congratulations!" Bella went to hug first Emmett and then Rose.

"What?" I was lost. I had missed that entire exchange.

All eyes were on me and I felt a little flushed, as if standing under bright lights. Whatever they had been talking about must have been big if they were staring at me like that.

"I said, Rosie and me are moving in together." Emmett looked pretty upset that I had missed the big news the first time around.

"What?! When did this happen?!"

Emmett was in perpetual fear of a commitment to this magnitude. I knew he wanted to spend the rest of his life with Rosalie, make her his in the eyes of the state and God, but I think the idea of moving in with his practically already live in girlfriend made him feel like he had to bite the bullet and grow up already.

After repeating the story once more for me, I saw Alice, sans Jasper, walk up to us.

"That is really great news, Em. It's about time." I nudged him hard in the ribs.

"Ow…yeah, you know you're just grateful because that means more alone time for you and Bella." He wiggled his eyebrows at us before noticing Alice's approach.

"Where's Jasper, Alice?" Emmett looked nervous.

"He said he needed to get something real quick."

"Oh hell no, he isn't getting that…"

"Emmett!" Rose shouted at him.

Was I the only one confused as to what was going on? Judging by the looks on my girlfriend's and sister's face, I wasn't. They clearly had no clue either.

"Excuse me." Emmett grumbled, while trying to shuffle his way through the crowd.

"Rose?" Alice questioned as we all turned to look at her.

"Um, probably needs to take a piss or something." And with that she took off, who knows where.

Moments later I saw a streak of blonde shoot through the hallway, as another larger and darker streak went zooming not so far behind. I heard a soft crash and a rather loud curse soon afterwards.

"What the hell was that?" Carlisle looked a bit nervous.

Alice, Bella, and I followed behind him as we went to investigate the noises. We walked up to the walrus like man, flat on his back, broken shards of glass to the right of him, a rather scared expression frozen on his mustached face.

"What happened Walter?" Carlisle extended his hand to help up the man, heaving a bit as he pulled Walter the Walrus back up.

"I-I don't know. I was just standing here, admiring the artwork, when something whooshed past me, knocking me over. I'm so sorry about the glass, my friend."

"Don't apologize. It wasn't your fault. I hope your back is alright."

"Oh, fine fine. I may be old, but I'm still tough." He winked then slowly waddled back towards the bar.

"Something tells me Emmett was involved with this…" Carlisle muttered as he stormed up the stairs to go investigate. "Could you three clean this up? Thanks." He said before waiting for an answer.

Carlisle returned shortly afterwards, shaking his head, clearly annoyed at whatever had transpired. I caught just murmurs from him as he passed. "Crazy…buffoons…pair…fools."

--

Midnight was nearing, as we all surrounded the giant grandfather clock in the great room. Everyone had a glass of champagne in hand, including Bella, who was tucked into my side, swaying to the music. Her eyes glistened with some unknown emotion.

"Bella, will you come with me to the piano?" I led her to the baby grand situated in the one corner.

My family was surrounding it, each couple close together as we began counting down.

"10…9…8…"

Everyone in the house was chanting together, excitement building for the New Year just around the corner.

"7…6…5…"

"Are you excited for the new year, my Bella?" I leaned in close, inhaling the sweet scent of strawberries and freesias that always invaded my senses.

"4…3…2…"

"As long as it's spent with you, then yes." She leaned up towards me, our faces mere centimeters apart.

"1…HAPPY NEW YEAR!"

Confetti was flying through the air, glasses clinking with toasts, noise makers sounding off, but all I could hear and see was Bella. She had voiced what I had been thinking.

"I love you Edward." Her lips began to pucker out, as she waited for her first kiss of the New Year.

"I love you Isabella Marie Swan." I closed the distance finally, our lips meeting in a kiss so passionate it could very well have created fireworks.

When I pulled away, the lights were glistening off the tears streaming down her sweet angelic face. I worried that she was upset, til I saw her eyes. The gold flecks in her chocolate pools were glowing brighter than normal under all the lights surrounding us. They mesmerized me as I felt her gaze speak of her love for me. I crushed her tight to my body, knowing that what I needed most was to be alone with her. If I didn't show her how much I loved her now, I'd combust from the emotions filling my entire being.

I made a move to leave the rest of the party, but Esme's hand shot out and took hold of my forearm.

"Please Edward, play for us first. It's tradition." I looked into my mother's eyes, tears swimming there as I realized she was the happiest I had seen her in a long time.

"Of course." I pulled Bella to the bench, motioning for her to sit next to me. I lined my fingers up to the keys, getting ready to play the song most associated with this holiday.

"_Should __old__ acquaintance be forgot,  
__and never brought to mind?  
__Should __old__ acquaintance be forgot,  
__and __old__ lang syne?"_

The tears that had been threatening the two most important women in my world finally spilled as they listened to me sing, eventually joining in with everyone else as we rang in 2009 together.

--

"Bella, my sweet Bella." I murmured against her skin, placing kisses all along the base of her neck.

We were finally alone, together in my room at last. Esme had kept us busy, cleaning up after our guests had all departed. As Bella and I grabbed plates, glass, and napkins, we watched on with amusement as Jasper and Emmett bickered amongst each other. I had no idea what kind of bet they had going. All I knew was I wanted to do my share of cleaning so Bella and I could get away from everyone.

My sweet little devious girlfriend kept yawning hugely, stretching her arms out wide, feigning exhaustion. Esme noticed and told me to take her downstairs and to bed so she could get rest.

I had every intention of taking her to bed. She just wouldn't be resting.

"Edward." She breathed out my name, the sound making me tingle with want and desire.

"I love you so much, my beautiful Bella. Happy New Year." I continued lavishing her neck with attention.

"You know, after all that happened earlier in the year, I never thought I would be sad to see it end. Spending time with you is my favorite thing ever. But if I thought I had loved 2008, it has nothing on how great 2009 will be." Bella blushed a fiery red at her declaration.

It made me love her even deeper. She fully planned on spending the New Year with me. Her by my side would ensure a spectacular one.

"Of course it will be. I fully intend on keeping you by my side at all times."

I brought my head up to look into her eyes. There were tears there again as she drank in my words. They seemed to flow through her entire body, filling her up til the point of inebriation. She swayed slightly on the spot and I had to hold on tighter to make sure she did not fall.

"I love you Edward." She said after regaining her composure, returning those luscious lips to mine so I could taste her again.

"Let me show you how much I love you." I reached behind her to slowly undo the zipper on her dress. The fabric which had cascaded across her body all night, finally pooled at her feet, something I had wanted to see since I gazed on her beauty.

I was unprepared for what she wore underneath the dress. Bella was wearing a silver satin corset, trimmed with black lace along the top and bottom. It was so tight against her body I wondered how she could breathe. But then I noticed how it held up her beautiful breasts and I was left dumb with wonderment.

"Do you like it?" She gave me a sheepish grin as she spun around.

When she had done a 180, I saw her tight little ass, barely covered in a lacy black thong. The back of the corset was laced up, tied tight to hold her in place.

"Where did you get that?"

"Alice." She replied before turning around.

"You're doing it again, you know." I whispered in her ear once I had walked up behind her. I heard her whimper at my proximity. "You're stunning me with your beauty."

I wrapped my arms around her waist, holding her close to me. My hands traced her curves through the smooth fabric, coming to rest at her chest. I could feel her heartbeat, quick and powerful, under my hand. And I cherished the thought that it beat that way for me, always for me, only for me.

My hands moved from her chest to undo the ties at her back. I took my time, letting my hands trail across her lower back, her spine, and her shoulder blades, as the material began to loosen around her. The straight line of her spine came into view and I had the irresistible urge to lean closer and lick the tight skin there. I allowed myself the indulgence and felt Bella shudder at my action.

"Edward." She breathed out again as she let the corset fall to the ground.

Without warning, I swept her off her feet, carrying her to my bed, and laying her down gently in the middle of it. Her soft peaks bounced and swayed with the movement, hypnotizing me for a moment. Under my gaze I noticed her nipples harden. I wondered if it was me looking down on her that was exciting her further.

When I leaned in to touch the flesh in front of me, I heard Bella's breathing pick up. Her back arched, bringing those heavenly mounds that much closer to me.

"Please Edward, touch me."

How could I deny her such a request when she asked me so urgently?

I finally reached her body, allowing my hands to lovingly caress each breast, palming and massaging them gently at first. With each moan from her soft lips, my pressure increased, making the volume of Bella's cries increase as well.

Her lips called to me, begging to be licked and sucked at. I bent down to kiss her, our lips twisting and moving together in sync. That full bottom lip of hers stuck out just a bit and I brought it in my mouth to suck on, to taste the sweetness of it. I quickly captured each moan, swallowing it, allowing it to fill me up as I fought the desire to groan from her noises.

As my hands continued their ministrations on her breasts, I licked and bit my way down her neck, stopping to suck at the thin skin covering her clavicle. Bella cried out, her hands reaching around to grip onto my hair. Her nails scratched along my scalp, stopping every so often to tug at my hair. The feel of her hands in my locks was delicious and turned me on even further.

After I had lavished enough attention on that sweet spot of hers, my mouth continued its journey south, coming to rest on the fleshy part of her left breast. I sucked it in, using my lips to massage it this time instead of my hand. My tongue darted out to trace around her areola, before finally drawing in the tight hard bud of her nipple. Bella's hips began to buck underneath me wildly as I allowed my teeth to graze the sensitive skin there.

"Edward, that feels so amazing." Her hands pushed down on my head, trying to feel more of my hot mouth on her.

"I want to make you feel this way all the time love." I spoke against her flesh. Then I removed my mouth to move to her right breast, sucking and nipping at the hardened skin, taut from her excitement.

Bella was panting from my actions, raking her nails down my back which was still clothed. She decided to remedy this by reaching to the front and unbuttoning me as quickly as possible. I shrugged out of the shirt, throwing it to the side somewhere, it didn't matter. Her hands began to roam across my chest, feeling every part of skin that was exposed to her. Each time she touched me, my muscles involuntarily twitched under her fingers.

I pressed into her, feeling how warm and wet she was, even through my tuxedo pants.

"Mmm." She let out a delicious sound when she felt me, then ground hard against my erection.

"Bella." Her name came out strained. I was trying to resist the urge to rip off her panties and pound into her hard. But she was making it difficult with ever noise out of her mouth.

"Let me help you get more comfortable."

She began to undo the clasp and zipper on my pants, pulling them down along with my boxer briefs without any hesitation. I lifted off so I could kick them off, leaving me completely exposed to her. My fingers hooked into the waistline of her thong, pulling them down her silky smooth legs.

"It's only fair." I whispered along her calf as soon as the moistened fabric was discarded. My breath caused goosebumps to erupt along her flesh.

"Edward, please fuck me." I saw a crazed look in her eyes as she sought some release to the coil that I knew was winding tighter in her stomach, aching to spring lose.

"No my love." Bella's eyes hardened as she thought I was denying her. I brought my nose to her center, inhaling her arousal, a heavy perfume lingering in the air. "I'm going to make love to you. I'm going to give you so much pleasure your body will be trembling for days."

Bella gasped as I let my tongue dart out and slowly lick along her already very wet slit. My fingers separated her slick folds, so I could slowly draw her swollen clit in between my teeth. I bit down ever so gently as two fingers entered her slowly.

I felt her pussy walls grip onto my fingers, clenching around me tightly. My cock twitched against my stomach as I imagined how good it would feel when I finally slipped inside her.

My fingers pumped into her, harder and faster as her body responded to my touch; hips gyrating and thrusting in an attempt to speed things up. Every time I nipped at her clit, Bella let a throaty yelp out.

As she got closer to her release, she kept chanting "yes, yes yes" over and over. Her body began writhing under me, a sheen of perspiration building up until finally climaxing, her juices dripping down over my hand. I lowered my mouth to lap them up, not wanting any of them to go to waste.

"Edward…" I had expected her voice to sound tired, but when I looked up in her eyes and saw an eagerness there, I was taken back. "I need more from you, all of you."

"You're wish my love." I gave her dripping core one final lick before crawling up her body.

Bella's legs opened up wider to accommodate me, showing off a new angle of her tight pussy. My dick was practically jumping, bucking of its own accord to enter her. It wanted to take control, slam into her with a force so hard she would have a hard time walking the next day. But my heart needed to reign in my dick, will it to listen to me.

"I love you Edward."

"You are my life now, Bella." I whispered in her ear and slowly eased my erection into her tight core.

Every bit of her felt like heaven, squeezing around my thick shaft as I moved inside her. Her walls were coated in her arousal, making it easy to pump in and out of her. Bella's legs went to wrap around my back, ankles locking together in an attempt to keep her as close to me as possible.

I used her grip on me to our advantage. I lifted up to my knees, angling Bella's lower half up almost to a 45 degree angle to the bed. The new angle allowed me to penetrate her differently, hitting against her insides so deeply I knew she would be able to come for me again within no time. Her walls were already beginning to quiver all along my cock.

"Bella, I want you to come again for me. I want to feel and hear how good I make you feel." I told her, my voice a little strained from the thrusts of my pelvis.

I went into her harder and faster as she began to whimper out my name. Her hands came up to her own hair, tangling in there and pulling as if overcome with the pleasure building up inside her. With just a pinch of her clit between my forefinger and thumb, she was gone, falling off the edge.

"Oh god Edward!" Bella screamed out as she rode out the last wave.

I felt her clamping down around me, milking me, egging me on to my own release, which I gratefully met as Bella continued to thrust up at me.

I shivered and shook above her, pumping into her hard and erratically. I groaned out her name, a prayer on my lips as I wished to be doing this as long as she'd let me.

"That was amazing Edward." Bella reached up to wipe away a stray lock of hair from my eye. I saw tears leaking out of her eyes and the horror stricken thought that I had hurt her entered my mind.

"Are you sure? Why are you crying love?" I wiped away the tears quickly before they could stain her cheek.

"Because that was beautiful. You made me feel so..soo...good. And I could feel it, feel how much you love me. Thank you."

"Oh, I'm not done yet Isabella. Can you possibly think I love you that little? We have all night and all morning for me to show you just how much you mean to me."

I picked her up and carried her to my attached bathroom. I started rummaging around the cabinets, looking for the various bottles of bubbles and oils I knew Esme had stored there.

"What are you doing?" Bella asked as I retrieved the necessary bottles, then turned to the oversized jetted tub.

"I'm drawing up a bath for us Bella." I kissed her hard on the mouth as I let the water heat up before stopping up the tub.

As it filled, I poured in different amounts of the fruity and floral liquids. When it had finally filled, achieving my desired result, I extended a hand to Bella who was leaning against the door.

"Care to join me?" I winked at her as I helped her into the blissfully warm water, stepping in to sit behind her. "Are you ready for me to show you how much I love you again?" I kissed her slowly, tauntingly, at the base of her neck. And even though the water was so warm there was steam billowing off the surface, Bella shivered against me.

* * *

**So what did you think? I enjoyed the more sensual lemon this time around, hope you did too. Hope4More, was that tender enough for ya? Lol  
****This is 19 pages (shockingly not even close to the most I've written for you) of pure appreciation for all who take time out to share their thoughts. Thanks as always.  
****And as always, show me some love, or thoughts, or concerns or…whatever. Just try not to call me names and insult. I'm tender ******


	28. Chapter 28

**a/n: still not smeyer, damn.**

**Current state of mind: bewildered, from all you lovelies and the overwhelming amount of support I received after my little rant about meanies. This is me blowing kisses your way while giving you all bedroom eyes. I heart you mucho.  
****To my lovely bff I'mwiththevampire08, much love while you suffer the ever dreaded work this week. I will be thinking of you as you travel far in order to bring home that bacon  
****Story pimpage of the day: manyafandom's Pretty Woman and Jagermeister. Because, who hasn't thought of Edward and jasper at the same damn time? Mmm. Lol  
****And because I'm feelin the burn of my edumication, song of the day "school spirit" by kanye west.  
****Now to the main event. Ladies, maybe you should get the bath running in prep for this one ;) **

* * *

"Are you ready for me to show you how much I love you again?"

Edward's words sent a thrill through my body. His voice didn't help matters either, his soft cooing making me already quiver with the need to feel him inside me again. How one man could make me so crazy for sex was a mystery. Well not completely a mystery. He is Edward Cullen after all. He's a sex god, my sex god.

I smiled as I thought that one word, "my." Mine, all mine.

My ears pricked up as I heard a squeezing noise, confused as to what was happening behind my back. But then Edward's hands came to my shoulders and I forgot to wonder. His hands were currently working away any trace of strain and tension in my body. His hands were magic. They were slicked with some kind of massage oil and moved with so much mastery that I wanted to question where he learned his technique. Instead, my head lolled back onto his chest, making it hard for him to rub me.

"I'm always ready for you to show me." The words came out in wisps, floating up with the steam that rose from the surface of the bubbly water.

Edward reached to the side of us and flipped a switch. The sounds of the motor working the jets broke the silence that surrounded us. The streams of water pounded against my overheated, overworked body, making me melt even more against Edward and his strong hands.

"Here, this may help out a bit, love."

Edward brought his hands to my hips, under the water, and easily lifted me up to situate me on his lap. His ever present erection was now pushed up against my back as his hands moved back up to my shoulders, rubbing away the knots again. It felt so good and I couldn't resist the undulating movements my body was now creating against Edward's chiseled chest.

"God Edward, you're amazing, did you know that?" I purposely shifted my ass so that it pressed even harder against his cock.

"Ung…" Edward's grip on my shoulders tightened for a fraction of a second as he enjoyed the friction of my ass against his cock.

Before I could get too smug about the effect I had on him, Edward moved his hands down my front, walking his fingers down until they reached the now painfully hard tips of my breasts. He pinched them both lightly, twisting just a bit before letting go. As if that wasn't enough, Edward leaned in to me, letting his tongue slide out to trace along the shell of my ear.

"Bella, you're so _slick _and _wet_ all over love." He purred the words into my ear then began to suckle at the moistened skin at my neck.

"You're too good at this." I pouted out a bit even though I was so completely aroused it was hard to be upset.

"What's _this_?"

"Turning me on. It's not fair."

Edward's hands began to palm at the soft flesh of my breasts again. Every so often his thumb would graze against my hardened nipples. He continued to suck at my neck and shoulders as his hands now rubbed along my upper back.

"Silly Bella, do you have any idea the effect you have on me?" Edward thrust up at me, letting me feel how extremely hard he was. "It's almost painful, my want for you."

With some difficulty, my hands found the outer edge of the giant tub, grasping on for dear life as I lifted myself up. Edward's hands went to my hips again, steadying me as I positioned myself over his erection, standing straight at attention just waiting for me.

"I don't want you to be in pain Edward." I gave him a coy look over my shoulder as I began to slowly lower myself onto him.

We both moaned out as I continued farther down his shaft, the sensation of the surrounding water just adding to the pleasure. Edward's hands traveled in, grasping at my inner thighs, pulling my legs open wider. His fingertips dug into my skin a bit roughly, as I slowly bounced up and down on him. I stretched my legs out, my feet finding purchase with the sides of the tub. They had to press hard down against the marble surface in order to give me the leverage I needed to rock on top of him faster.

"Lean back Bella."

One of his masculine hands left my thigh to pull me back against him. I was too busy enjoying the feel of him inside me to be careful. I crashed against his chest as he continued to thrust into me. My hands continued their death grip along the rim of the tub, needing to hold on tight for the pleasure I knew would soon be too much to handle.

"Oh Edward, god that feels so good."

My head rolled back, on his shoulder again, as his thrusts met each of my movements. Every time our skin slapped together, he would let out a guttural moan, the sound of which just drove me crazier with lust and love than what I already felt for him. Those perfectly lush lips met my now feverish skin, licking away the sweat that was beading along my collarbone. Soon I felt his teeth graze and nip at my skin, increasing the pressure there as I lost myself in the ecstasy. Edward bit down hard, making me moan even louder as I crashed down on top of him, marking me as his, before laving the spot with his tongue to sooth it.

Edward's hand had found my left breast, gripping at the flesh tightly, pulling and kneading as we created tidal waves with our movements.

"I love your tits Bella. They're so fucking beautiful. I want to take them in my mouth and suck on them all day long."

I moaned out again, wishing he could do just that. But the position we were in made that impossible. To make up for it, Edward continued his assault, using the water around us to moisten my breasts and mimic the movements his mouth would make there.

He was too good. It wasn't long before I felt that delicious tension build up inside me, making me flutter and tense all at once. I was so close, ready to go over that ever present edge. Edward moved his right hand from my inner thigh to my apex there, circling around my clit as I continued to move up and down on him. The pleasure was so maddeningly intense, it was almost too much.

"Edward, I-I…" I couldn't talk, I was too overcome with the rush of pleasure coursing through my body, rushing down to my core for its release. I thought I was coming apart at the seams, the tremors rocking through me shook so violently.

"That's right my love, come for me." Edward's thrusts increased as I found it harder to continue my movements. His deft fingers never stopped working at my sensitive bundle of nerves, making my orgasm last even longer.

I wanted to just lie there like that, back to his chest, for the rest of the night. But I also wanted to bring him to the brink of insanity. I had thought by the position we had ended up in, I would be the one giving him the amazing orgasm. But Edward had stolen the lead from me, taking complete control of my body. Well, it was time to repay the favor.

I sat up straight, the motion surprising Edward and causing him to still for a brief moment. That was all I needed. Using my feet and the water as my aid, I spun around, Edward still sheathed inside me. The result of my motion caused those sexy V lined hips of his to buck up at me.

When we were finally face to face, I gave him the sexiest smile I knew how to give.

"I believe you said something about sucking on my tits?" I cocked an eyebrow at him, waiting for Edward to pick up on the invitation.

One fucking sexy crooked smirk filled that gorgeous face of his before he lowered his head and took in my pert nipple, flicking it with the tip of his tongue, swirling it around in his mouth. He bit down on it, and I had to grab onto his shoulders to keep from losing myself to the intensity of the pleasure right then.

Edward began to thrust up into me, wanting to take the lead again, but I couldn't have that. I wanted to be in charge.

"Let me fuck you Edward. I want to ride you hard."

Using my grip on his shoulders for help, I lifted up off him, almost completely, before coming down hard on him, my lips smashing against the bones in his pelvis. I did it again, his tip just barely kissing my lips, teasing him some more before lowering myself down so he could bury himself inside me.

"Bellaaaa." His voice was strained. I knew he was already close from before.

"Just let it go Edward. I love when you lose control. It's so fucking sexy."

I bounced up and down on him, feeling the strain in my quads from the relentless pounding I was doing. Edward's eyes rolled back in his head as it tilted back to rest on the smooth tile behind him.

"So close love…so close…"

He couldn't take it anymore. Edward's hips began to move beneath me, thrusting up with a fierce strength, penetrating me completely.

I watched in awe as Edward lost control, his release spilling into me. His face radiated beauty as the climax overtook all of his senses. Those red, perfectly shaped lips were slightly parted, trying to take in more oxygen from the strain of heavy breathing. His eyes were shut tight. It might have looked like he was wincing in pain if I hadn't known he was in the exact opposite state of being. Maybe the pleasure was almost painful, like the pleasure I experienced whenever I came for Edward.

I couldn't help but to reach out and press my lips to those kissable ones, wanting to taste him as he came down from the high he was experiencing. I let my tongue languidly trace around his cupid's bow, allowing my teeth to gently nibble at the bottom lip that seemed to have just the hint of a pout to it. no wonder he was so damn good at pouting.

"Bella." He mumbled my name against my lips. It made me smile. "You're incredible."

"Thank you." The smug feeling of satisfaction returned. Edward brought a hand up to cup my face, letting his thumb caress the skin on my cheek. His other hand came up to gently push away the now frizzy and wild hair that was covering my head.

"But maybe we should get out before we are permanently shriveled up like prunes."

--

**JPOV** (I know, what am I thinking taking this on?)

Bella may have been able to fool Esme, but I knew she was nowhere near exhausted. I had to give her credit for using that as a plausible excuse though. Because of her, those two lovebirds were probably down in that basement doing God only knows what.

And that thought frustrated me to no end.

Ever since the morning after their little sexcapade, I have had nothing on the brain other than what those two could've been doing to elicit such sounds. They sounded like a pair of fucking animals going at it.

It made me jealous.

Not that Alice and I didn't have our share of hardcore fuck sessions, but ours was a more tender intimacy. That's the way we liked it, our bodies melding together and moving with the years of experience and practice we had shared. She could read my body better than I could, and I loved her for it.

But sometimes a man just wants to fuck his incredibly hot girlfriend, damnit.

And Alice's reaction to Edward's utterance of "pair of tongs" left me reeling. It had to be something damn good if she squealed and freaked like that.

Of course I couldn't let that go. I was insistent, to the point of badgering my lovely little Alice. Until finally she cracked and admitted she knew what Edward was referring to. She tried to explain what the position entailed, but it left much to the imagination. So she had me google it.

Oh and fuck me.

That looked damn good.

When I questioned her how she even knew about the damn tong position, Alice blushed, something so unlike her, and averted her eyes.

More coaxing was needed on my part until finally Alice spoke what was on her mind.

"Well, awhile ago I was researching some different _ideas_ for us to try and that was something I stumbled across."

"Y-y-you were looking up different sex positions for us to try?!" I was astounded. Why hadn't she told me?

"I'm sorry." Her voice, normally so chipper and exuberant, sounded deflated.

"For what? The only thing you should be apologizing for is not telling me about it long ago so _we_ could be the first to try that out!"

Alice's eyes grew wide as she stared at me.

"You mean you wouldn't mind some _experimenting_?"

Hell no.

"Of course not my darling. I would be more than happy to try out some new things with you."

Alice, in true form, started clapping wildly before jumping on top of me. Thank god she is so tiny, because the force with which she hurled herself at me would've toppled us both over if she were any bigger. As it is, I almost fell backwards, having to hold my arms out for balance.

"Excellent, because I know just the thing I want to try first. Hold on, I need to go slip into something a bit more…_comfortable._"

And so I knew from then on that I had to get that damn book from Edward and try out some pair of tongs shit. Now that Alice and I were on a whole new sexual level, this would be perfect.

The only problem, Emmett and Rosalie were on the same page as me. that was enough to make me convulse with horror. Wasn't it bad enough that I heard my sister and my best friend humping like rabbits? Did I need to know the explicit details of what they did behind sometimes closed doors?

The bet wasn't even supposed to be a bet. I had simply decided to go ask Edward if I could borrow his book when Emmett intercepted me. he tried to tell me that it wasn't _right _of me to ask Edward to borrow the kama sutra.

"And why, pray tell, not?"

"Because, where's the fun in that?"

"The fun is when he says, 'sure thing Jazz,' throws me the book and I go and make hot passionate tongs love to your little sister."

Ok, so throwing in the little sister was a bit much. But I was sick of his cock blocking ways. He had already interrupted us that night to hear Edward and Bella. How much was one man supposed to take?

"Hale, you better fucking hope you don't get a hand on that book, because you'll find it will no longer be attached to your arm after that!"

"Wanna bet?"

Why did I have to say that? Famous last words when it came to Emmett Cullen.

--

The party had almost been disastrous, though it started off easy enough.

Emmett, Carlisle and I were standing together on the landing, waiting for the 4 girls and Edward to come upstairs. Or as Emmett put it, the 5 girls.

He had just been regaling us with tales of his inept covert mission to pilfer the Kama Sutra. I was surprised that he even mentioned it in front of Carlisle, what with how awkward we had felt when Carlisle and Esme had made their way to the top of the stairs leading to the basement.

But Carlisle had surprised me. He mentioned that he had a pretty good idea of what was going on down there, though the details were something he did not need to know. He had actually had a discussion with poor Edward about how to treat his lady right, give her the proper sexual healing she deserved.

Ok, those weren't Carlisle's words, those belong to Emmett.

When Carlisle questioned why Emmett was trying to sneak the book out, details of the bet came out. Winner had bragging rights for the New Year, all 365 days of 2009. Plus, the loser had to refer to the winner as King Tong.

Again, Emmett's idea. Definitely not mine.

Emmett was distracted by Rose, which was definitely a good thing, so I took the opportunity to sneak away and look through Edward's room for the book that was now a life or death issue for me.

Luckily Edward was also completely wrapped up in Bella. It was actually really great to see him so enamored with her, something we had all wanted to see happen for awhile. Those two were perfect for each other and God knows Edward needs someone as sweet and patient as Bella.

He was a lucky man.

Rummaging through Edward's room was a bit hazardous. It's not that he didn't keep it clean down there, it's just…I was afraid I might stumble across some things I'd rather not see.

It didn't take me long to find the book though. The man had it sitting on his fucking night side table, like it was some kind of bible. Well, I guess it is the bible of sex, so…

I didn't want to waste time, so I grabbed the book and was about to slip it inside my coat. But Emmett's whisper yells had caught up to me.

"Oh no you don't Hale! Give me that damn book!"

Emmett lunged at me. He may have brute strength, but I had cat like reflexes, and longer leaner legs. I could outrun him any day.

Even though I felt like a 10 year old playing tag or some shit like that, I found myself laughing, taunting the great oaf behind me as I dashed up the stairs. I kept turning to look behind me, sticking my tongue out at him in a very mature manner. But I instantly regretted my juvenile ways when I clipped a rather large squishy man in the hallway.

My speed caused him to spin just a bit as I rushed past him. And unfortunately Emmett was close on my heels. Because the man who was already precariously imbalanced, was completely knocked on his ass as Emmett pushed past him. The poor man never saw us coming.

I tried to take refuge in Alice's room, shutting the door behind me and throwing my weight at the door. But like I said before, Emmett had brute strength on his side for situations like that. I knew if I didn't back away from the door now, it would soon be off its hinges.

"Hand it over Hale, and no one gets hurt."

"Please, and have to call you fucking King Tong for the year? I think not!"

I was taking tentative steps backward, trying to find someway out of this situation. The fact that I had the damn book in hand should be enough to win me the bet. Possession is nine tenths of the law and that shit…but fucking Emmett made sure to include the final ground rule: usage of the book.

Damn him.

"What the hell is going on?" Carlisle stepped into the room looking slightly furious. "If this is about that damn book I will not hesitate to punish you two." I didn't even want to think of how he could punish us. Probably forbid us from bedding in his house.

The book made its way behind my back, trying to cover itself from Carlisle's ever watchful eye.

"Dad…sorry about that one dude. It was an accident. Jasper and I were just playing a friendly game of tag and we didn't see him."

I could've laughed out loud at Emmett's horrendous excuse. Playing tag? Really?

"Put the damn book back in Edward's room where you found it. Now please." Carlisle's voice rang with finality. Clearly he didn't buy Emmett's bullshit either.

--

So Emmett is the reason why I am now currently sneaking around the Cullen house at 4 am in the morning.

I needed to give Edward and Bella enough time to tire themselves out. I did not need to hear a repeat performance from those two.

I opened the basement door rather hesitantly, squinting my eyes closed as if it would block out any offending sounds that may happen to float up to me. Nothing but silence met my sensitive ears.

Good.

I started to walk slowly down the stairs, mindful of any creaks that I didn't know about.

That's when I heard one god awful rendition of "sneaking" music. I only use that term because of Emmett.

Damnit. Emmett.

He loved his "sneaking" music. He looked like fucking Homer Simpson, tiptoeing around the corners, poking his head out to keep an eye out for any possible deterrence.

He was mid "dun dun dunnn" when he saw me at the bottom of the stairs.

"Hale!"

I winced at the volume.

"Shut up Emmett." I whispered as loudly as possible. "Do you want to wake them up?"

"Oh. Riiight." Emmett made his way down the stairs, jumping the last couple to meet me the sooner.

But now I was left in a predicament. Here I was, side by side with the enemy about to invade foreign territory. How would we determine who got the book? We couldn't fight over it in the middle of Edward's bedroom. That would definitely wake them up.

"Do you think we'll wake them?" I was nervous to go in there. I know I had been dead set on going in there before, but now it didn't sound like such a good idea.

"Only one way to find out." Emmett sucked in a deep breath and held it, as if that would make him quieter.

Ever so slowly, Emmett turned the doorknob, finally releasing the catch and pushing the door open. A sliver of light filled the room and we were met with quite the sight.

Bella was laid out on her chest, completely naked, head resting on Edward's chest like it was a pillow. Edward's hand was placed gingerly on Bella's lower back. And his head was tilted down, so his chin rested on top of Bella's hair. I noticed Bella's arms around Edward's chest, fingers dug into his skin ever so lightly. And then I realized that the small sliver of light was angled just so that it hit her lower half, giving us an eyeful of Bella's ass.

"Damn, I never noticed before. Bella's got a ghetto booty." Emmett turned to whisper the words to me.

"What the…" All of a sudden we saw a gleam and realized it was Edward's eyes, lighting up in the partial light like a cat's. "Get the fuck out you assholes."

Emmett and I scampered like cockroaches, wanting to get away from there as fast as our feet could carry us. Neither of us missed the icy venom in Edward's tone. Clearly, he was livid that we had found them like that. And I'm sure Emmett's comment did not go unheard.

Fuck the book. My life was too precious to waste on something I could just go to Barnes and Noble to obtain.

"What. The. Fuck. Was he doing up? There's no way we were loud enough to wake him. Doesn't that man sleep?" Emmett was clutching his chest, breathing heavy as we finished our sprint to the second floor of the house.

"I don't know man, but I am kind of afraid to fall asleep tonight."

"Lock the door dude."

Emmett bade me farewell as he went to climb in bed with my sister. Ugh, I gotta stop thinking like that.

When I made my way into Alice's room, I found her peacefully asleep, clutching the camo pillow she had made to remember me by when I first left for school. It always brought a smile to my face that she kept it, slept with it when I couldn't be with her. It was a poor substitute for me, so I went to take its place. Where I belong.

--

**EPOV**

Those little shit heads would pay. I don't know what the fuck they thought they were doing in my room at this time of ni…er morning. Nothing excused them walking in on something so intimate and personal between me and my Bella. We had just spent the most amazing and glorious hours together expressing our love and they have to come in and ruin it.

Did Emmett really have to comment about Bella's ass like that? No one should get a peak at her cute little behind except for me. Labeling it as a "ghetto" booty was just offensive. Her ass was nothing less than perfection damnit.

If Bella's body hadn't been pressed so deliciously against mine right now, I would've gotten up and chased after those two idiots.

Consider yourselves lucky, bastards.

As it were, I was seriously considering slipping out from under Bella and paying them a little visit while they slept. I made to move Bella's arm off from around me, when she tightened her grip on me.

"No, don't go…ever…" Bella sighed out the words, making my heart clench together almost violently.

I had discovered Bella's sleep talking habits long ago, way before we had even came close to becoming the couple we are today. The night of the club, when she had whispered my name, I knew I was a hopeless for her. I realized that Bella's sleep talking was a window to her unfiltered thoughts. I don't know how many nights I stayed awake, hoping to hear her declare her love for me before she actually said those three words. I never did hear it during her sleep, but the other things she said, opened a window into her thoughts.

So to hear her now, asking, no telling, me to not go, ever was…the ultimate. She had to know that I indeed never wanted to go, never wanted to be away from her. But what would happen if I had to be away from her for school?

The thought was depressing. And I decided to rid myself of it before I spent the few precious hours of sleep I had left churning over unpleasant thoughts.

So I focused my thoughts on the sleeping beauty against me, her satiny pale skin like heaven against mine. And, try as I might to get Emmett's words out of my head, I couldn't stop myself from briefly palming that glorious ghetto booty of hers before I drifted off.

--

"Jasper." I growled his name out once I found him alone in the living room.

"Edward, before you begin…"

"What the fuck happened last night? It wasn't enough that my entire family had to hear Bella and me during what is supposed to be a supremely private moment? You had to actively walk in and seek out another opportunity to spoil a moment?"

"Why were you even still awake?" How did he have the nerve to ask me _anything_.

"Not like it's any of your business. But we had just finished a bath together and I just couldn't fall asleep yet. I was admiring the view." I couldn't resist the smile that lifted the corners of my mouth.

But then I thought I heard Jasper mutter "tell me about it" and all happiness vanished.

"What were you doing sneaking in my room last night?" I had at least been trying to remain polite earlier. But now, if he didn't answer me and fast, I was likely to punch out my very close friend.

"Listen Edward, I'm so sorry about last night. I don't even know what compelled me to do that. Well I do, it's just I don't know how I was stupid enough to let Emmett do the compelling." Jasper shook his head, letting his longer than average blonde hair sway from side to side. It was a trick he used on Alice whenever he was trying to get out of trouble.

"Don't try to use that hair trick shit with me Jasper. I may be a Cullen but I am not my sister. I do not get all wet from your hair."

"Sorry, habit." Jasper looked up at me and I could tell from the look in his eyes that he felt bad for what happened. But that didn't explain why he was down there in the first place.

"Are you gonna tell me or what?" I was getting impatient.

But then Jasper opened his mouth and started reliving the events that led up to last night. About the bet that he had unwillingly agreed upon with Emmett of all people.

I couldn't help the self satisfied feeling of creating such jealousy in these two guys. Especially with Emmett who always proclaimed himself _the _sex god.

Psshh, looks like he's been dethroned.

"Alright, I'm feeling generous and forgiving. So here's the plan Jasper. I'm going to just give you the book."

"Edward, that will never work. If Emmett finds out that you gave it to me, he'll say I cheated and declare himself winner by default."

"I never said anything about telling him I gave it to you…."

"What do you have planned Cullen?"

"Oh I'll just put my acting skill to good use. You know it's only a matter of time before Emmett comes down to my room." I threw him a wink and the book then walked away. "Just make yourself busy for awhile, ok? Oh, and um…if you decide to _busy_ yourself with my sister, definitely stay the hell away from me. Keep that shit locked away in her room. I definitely do not want to hear that."

So now all I had to do was wait for Emmett to come down and either apologize for last night or try and take my book again. It was so idiotic that my brother didn't just run to the bookstore. The thrill of the game was too much for him I guess, otherwise I'm sure he would've done that already and have had Rosalie bent into all sorts of different positions by now.

I busied myself with packing up Bella's and mine stuff for when we went back to campus the next day. Esme had just done a fresh load of laundry, bless her even with grown children she still wants to mother us, and so I was now left to sort through our clothes while Bella visited with her aunt and uncle. It wasn't hard to do, since her clothes were so small they looked like they were doll clothes, but I found myself distracted easily.

First was when I started folding the NU shirt I had packed for her to wear while gone in Forks. I loved her in my clothes. It was just unbearably sexy. Plus she had the most delicious scent that permeated my clothes whenever she wore them. But the washing had taken that away. I'd have to make sure she wore this tonight so it would smell like her again.

And then every time my fingers passed over the silk and satin lingerie I had purchased for her, I felt myself harden uncontrollably. Just imagining her in that was enough to get me going. She was sexy enough without the stuff, but when she wore it for me it was like an added bonus. Now I was missing her even more, despite the fact that she was just next door.

Plus I was regretting letting Jasper borrow the book. There were still so many positions I wanted to look at and try. Maybe _I _should just go to the bookstore and buy a copy for him and Emmett.

"Hey Eddie?" Speak of the devil…

"What Emmett?" I tried to make my voice as hard as possible, a difficult task since I wanted to laugh at how predictable he was.

"I just wanted to apologize for last night. I was totally crossing a boundary when me and Jazz came in your room last night."

Time to throw Emmett of the trail.

"What?" I began to dig around the piles of clothes and stuff that I had situated on my bed. "Oh, right. Thanks…" More searching.

"Yeah, I just didn't realize…what are you looking for?" Emmett cocked his head to the side, watching my "frantic" searching.

"Hm? Oh…just some stuff…go on."

"Alright…so yeah, I'm sorry for coming in your room. Jasper and I were just messing around."

"Damnit. Where the hell?"

"Uh…and sorry for talking about Bella's ass like that. It was true, but I shouldn't have said it."

"She does have a nice ass, huh?" I stopped my searching to look up at him and grin. Emmett looked so confused at my preoccupied state. "Now…where is it?"

"What are you looking for Eddie, maybe I can help you find it." Emmett walked closer to the bed, ready to use his large paws to shovel through my stuff.

"Just something Bella got me for Christmas."

"Oh?" Emmett's curiosity was peaked.

"Yeah, I wanted to use it tonight before we left tomorrow for campus." I had to try and sound cryptic in meaning though be obvious enough for Emmett to catch on.

"Let me help you."

Before I knew it, half of my things were being thrown unceremoniously on the ground as Emmett ripped through my things. I hadn't even told him what it was. If I was in fact searching for something, I would probably have been alarmed at Emmett's actions. But knowing that he already figured out what was missing, was hilarious. Every so often a laugh slipped my lips and I had to struggle to make it come out sounding like a growl or other angry noise.

Once everything had been torn apart (damn, I would have to clean this up later) Emmett and I slumped to the ground in exhaustion.

"Damnit, where could it have gone?" I shook my head in disbelief to add to the effect.

"I can't believe he…"

"What?"

"Nothing." Emmett stood up and took one last final look around my room. "I gotta go Eddie. Sorry you couldn't find what you were looking for."

"Hey wait, don't you wanna help me clean this up?" I yelled after him but he was already gone.

After I straightened everything up in my room, I made the ascent to the main level of my house. I couldn't wait to find out Emmett's reaction once Jasper came downstairs and gloated about his victory. For sure he'd lord it over Emmett for years to come.

I didn't have to wait long as Jasper came down the stairs. His hair was a mess, his face flushed red, and his mouth stretched in a mile long grin. He strutted over to Emmett who was playing a game on his XBOX 360. I watched eagerly as Jasper extended one long finger to tap on Emmett's shoulder. And the look on Emmett's face when he turned around and took in Jasper's appearance was priceless.

"Say it, bitch."

Emmett hung his head before admitting defeat.

"All hail King Tong."

* * *

**Well…bites nails…did you enjoy JPOV? Again, after Emmett, I was fully intending on sticking with just e and b, but I found it too difficult to delve further into the bet without venturing out. And since I had already took on Emmett, I thought, why not Jasper? So I definitely need your thoughts people. I feel like I should reiterate this fact: if you don't like it, you can tell me, just try and avoid the insults people. I totally need your thoughts on this.  
****And sorry it took me awhile to get this out…I recently made the trip over to twilighted and got distracted. There's a new thread out there for PT started by the lovely arra584, thanks to you woman for the love.  
****I swear, next update won't take so long. I gotta get em in before next Friday when my hand gets cut open. Gah!**


	29. Chapter 29

**a/n: not smeyer**

**thank you for all the reviews, I guess even the flames. Whatev.  
****And for those of you who don't know this yet…I go in for surgery this Friday to repair a split tendon in my right hand. That being said…I obviously won't be able to type up new chapters with the recovery. Though I am working furiously to get several chapters typed and ready to go so I can periodically post while I am healing. And while I may not be able to type up chapters, I still want to chat. So if you want to show some love while I nurse my injured hand, pm me or chat with me over at twilighted.  
****Story pimpage of the day: _Midnight Desire by twilightzoner. I love the monster!_**

* * *

School was back in session, and with it a marked difference in how I spent my time. I hardly saw Edward during the week, except for at night when he would crawl into his bed after hours of studying. Now that Emmett was living with Rosalie, I basically lived at Edward's place. We never had an official discussion about living together, and most of my things still took up residence at my dorm room, but I was always spending the night. I even had a small space in Edward's closet set aside for my clothes.

It shouldn't bug me, but it did. Why hadn't Edward asked me to move in with him officially? I know he was still living with Jasper, but the rooms were separated by a rather long hallway. And let's face it, Jasper basically took over my spot in Alice and mine's shared room. So what was the problem? Did he think that was us moving too fast?

No, I knew the real reason. Edward and med school. We had talked about this before and I knew that Edward wanted nothing more than to attend Johns Hopkins medical school. And that was all the way in Baltimore. Maryland. That was some 700 miles of distance. Edward, always the pessimist, doubted he'd get into his school of choice. But I knew otherwise. He was the most intelligent man I knew, not to mention his name held a lot of clout in the medical world. Johns Hopkins would rue the day they rejected Edward Cullen.

I wanted him to go there, I really did. He deserved all the best this world had. He deserved to go to the school of his choice, receive the education he wanted, and go on to work in a chosen field suited to his skills. But him going to Baltimore would leave me here.

He probably didn't realize it, but I would go with him if he asked. I loved him that much. I would transfer to University of Maryland. NU be damned. All he had to do is say it, and I'm there.

But that was still a ways off. Edward hadn't even taken the MCATs yet. We wouldn't know Edward's choice for some months still.

Even still, my heart and my head knew that this was the reason Edward hadn't officially asked me to move in with him. I felt heavy inside. Here I lay, wrapped up in Edward's embrace, resting my head on his chest, and worrying that I would crush his ribcage with the weight I was carrying around all the time.

It was only a few weeks into the semester and I already missed how things had been. 2009 was turning out to be not so great.

--

January had started off well enough. Edward and I had made the drive back up to campus, a few days early so that we could have some alone time, without his family interrupting us; something that seemed to happen all too much.

But unfortunately, the other 4 of our little group decided to come up early too. Emmett did have to move all his stuff over before the semester started after all. and that meant we all had to help. They had horrible timing.

I stared down at Edward's long slender fingers, slowly unbuttoning the shirt I was wearing, trailing each digit along the skin that became exposed to his view. My breath had grown ragged with the anticipation of things to come. Edward's eyes caressed my body along with his hands once my shirt was shrugged off.

"Bella, I love you." Edward's eyes burned into mine, searing me with the depth of his emotions.

"I love you more."

"Not possible, love." He sealed his statement with a sweet kiss to my lips.

"Show me how much you love me." I murmured the words against his lips. And in response I could feel his smile pressed against my swollen ones.

His hands, that had been roaming across my shoulders, down my back, up across my stomach, were now coming to the valley between my breasts. I was wearing a front clasping bra, and was all too anxious for his deft fingers to snap it open and set me free from the cotton confines.

"Eddie bo….oh!" Emmett had bounded into the room, mere seconds before Edward could throw off my bra.

"Shit Emmett, fucking knock!" Edward was furious. Not only was his older brother interrupting us, something that seemed to be a favorite past time of his, but also was thisclose to seeing me completely topless.

"Hellooooo Bella!"

"Emmett!" I screamed at him as my hands flew up to help cover what my open bra could not.

I heard a loud slap and a low grunt as I realized Rosalie was standing right behind Emmett, having just smacked the back of his head. Good. He deserved that shit.

So for the rest of the day, we spent our time packing and hauling instead of sucking and blowing. It wasn't fun. Rosalie became dictator of the move, instructing us all where to unload the boxes. We were all covered in sweat and dirt as she stood on the sidelines pointing us in the right direction. Who agreed that she didn't have to lift a pinky to help? Probably Emmett.

Rosalie asked me to move a box filled with books and magazines into her room. The box held an innumerable amount of SI: Swimsuit Editions and Playboys that Emmett had saved up over the years. Needless to say, the box was extremely heavy. I was having a hard time opening her door while still keeping a grip on the damn box. It was slowly slipping from my hand when I finally came tumbling into Rosalie's room.

With a final grunt and push, I got the box onto her oversized canopied bed. I had to sit to take a moment and rest. Why she asked me to bring in this box was beyond me. she should've asked Emmett. I didn't want to get up, having just gotten comfortable, but I heard my friends calling to me from the living room.

As I got up, I noticed a rather familiar looking book sitting on Rose's side table. I would've mistook it for the same one, except this book looked too new, missing the dog eared pages from Edward's rather vigorous perusals. Plus it had a sales receipt tucked in like some bookmark. What the hell? Did Rose seriously go out and buy a copy? My friends killed me with this. they hear Edward and I the night of my return and cannot let it go.

I walked out, shaking my head a little at the ridiculousness of the whole situation, to hear Emmett pleading with Jasper.

"C'mon Jasper, hand me a slice!"

"Did you hear something Alice?" Jasper's voice sounded laced with laughter.

"KT? Pizza please?"

"Who's Katie?" I asked as I stepped into the living room to find my friends sitting on the floor surrounding several boxes of pizza and beer.

"I don't know. Who is this KT person you are referring to Emmett?" Jasper was smirking at him by this point.

"Fine, you jackass. King Tong, hand me some of that Hawaiian. You're such a dong."

"You set the terms, my friend. Reap what you sowed."

Everyone in the room erupted in laughter, except for me and Emmett who continued scowling. I was confused by everything that had just gone down. I did not know what the hell King Tong was supposed to mean, but a part of me was afraid it had something to do with the now infamous book that was sitting in Rosalie's room. Would they ever stop with this?

"Love, are you ready to go?" Edward stood up and extended a hand to me. I gladly took it, wanting to get back to what Edward and I had started earlier in the day.

"So…King Tong…" I started once we had made it to the safety of the Volvo. "Do I even want to know?"

"Probably not."

"It's probably not a coincidence that Rosalie has a copy of the Kama Sutra in her bedroom though, huh?"

"She does? I didn't know that. It's about time they went and got their own copy."

"What do you mean, their own copy?"

"Well, Jasper and Emmett wanted to use mine. I let Jasper borrow it, and Emmett's been a bit sullen over the whole thing." Edward started chuckling then.

"Wait, so you don't have it in your possession? But what about tonight?" I pouted at him. "I was looking forward to trying some new positions."

"Don't worry, love. I got em all in here." He tapped the side of his head, throwing me a sexy crooked grin.

--

The remaining days of our winter break had been rather…exhausting. Not only did Edward want to try out every single position in the book (some of which are so impossibly complicated we ended up scrapping them), but the day before classes resumed I got a rather official looking piece of mail from the financial aid and scholarship office at school.

"Bella! Open it, hurry please." Alice was sitting by my side as I nervously chewed on my lower lip, afraid of what the letter inside said.

"Don't worry love, I'm sure it's good news." Edward placed a reassuring hand on my shoulder, giving me light squeezes there.

"Alright." I gave in, and with shaking hands, placed one finger under the flap and tore open the envelope. My eyes scanned over the letter.

"Well?" Alice questioned, trying to read the letter over my shoulder.

"I got it! I got the scholarship!" I jumped up, shocking the two Cullens that were by my side.

"That's wonderful!" Alice threw her arms around me and hugged me tightly.

"Excellent Bella. That means you can focus solely on your coursework and not worry about finding a job." Edward smiled hugely at me then came to kiss me, despite the fact that his sister was attached to me still.

"Ew, don't do that!" Alice let go and stepped back so Edward could congratulate me properly.

"You know what this means, right?"

"Uh…"

"I'm leaving now." Alice got up and walked out of our room, probably to pay Jasper a visit.

"Congratulatory sex my love." Edward's smile grew wicked as he pushed me back towards my bed, my knees buckling as I hit the mattress.

"Edward!" I giggled as Edward crawled closer to my body, pushing me down so I lay flat on my back.

"Right now, my beautiful Bella, is all about you."

Edward lowered his face to mine, pressing those luscious lips to mine, sending me into a frenzy from the heat of our kiss. He was amazing with his mouth, making me melt from just one touch to mine. I moaned into his open cavern as his heavy hot tongue twisted with mine, forcing the movements back into my mouth.

I watched as Edward's hands trailed down lower and lower on my body, stopping occasionally to explore the curves of my body. He unhooked the button on my pants, unzipping me and tugging the jeans off my body as slowly and gently as he could manage. I sat up, trying to grab onto his chest and rip off his shirt so that we could be in equal states of undress.

"No, no Bella. I said this was all about you. Just lay back and enjoy." He gave me one last kiss before moving down my body, his head hovering over my lower half.

Without another word, Edward hooked his thumbs in my underwear and ever so teasingly began to move them down my legs. His face came closer and closer to my heated sex as he removed the obstructive clothing. I could feel him blow cool air against the warm liquid that was pooling in between my lips, threatening to spill over and run down my thighs.

"My god Bella, you are so fucking wet for me."

I nearly came unglued as Edward's long thick tongue slowly licked up my slit, catching the overflow of my juices and drawing them into his mouth. And when he groaned out a loud "mmm" of satisfaction, my body began to tremble in anticipation of what I knew he'd do next.

Ever so slowly, he used his fingers to part my drenched lips apart, revealing my most sensitive spot to his sight. It was as if he wanted to take his time with me, draw out the pleasure that was slowly building in me. his finger began to work small feather light circles around my clit as his tongue continued lapping at my entrance, devouring me. I squirmed and writhed as he continued to work me with his tongue and fingers.

But Edward's massive hands clamped down on my thighs to still my movements as he plunged his tongue inside me.

"Edward!"

I couldn't help but scream out at the sudden rough pleasure he was giving me. the gentle motions of his tongue on mine had turned into the tongue fucking I knew he couldn't keep from doing for long.

"Don't squirm Bella." He paused his actions to tell me, tentatively letting go to test my limits.

When I did not move, he continued his tonguing on me. I tried so hard not to move, but the arching of my back as he continued to lick and bite at my clit was undeniable. Edward placed a fingertip at my entrance, slightly toying with me as he inserted then withdrew.

"More Edward." I panted out.

"Your wish, my love."

One finger slowly slid inside me, twisting and curling, hitting me deep within my walls. It was enough to send me flying as white spots burst behind my closed lids. Edward's tongue was relentless as he continued to lick and swirl around my clit, drawing out my orgasm to near painful levels. It was so intense, I felt like my heart had stopped from it.

Once I had finally calmed down from the waves of pleasure, Edward moved back up to cradle me against his body. I immediately moved to undo his belt buckle when he once again stilled my hands.

"I said it was all about you, Bella. I do not want anything in return. Not tonight anyway." He winked at me then pulled me closer to his chest, burying his head in my hair. I heard him inhale deeply and let out a low sigh.

--

But that was all before classes started. Now it seemed as if we hardly had time to do anything but throw in a quickie in between my classes or Edward's prep course. Don't get me wrong, the orgasms were still intense and amazing. But the quick fucks were nothing on the intimacy I felt when Edward and I took our time to really explore and touch every inch of each other's bodies.

Edward was just too tired from his studying to do much but eat and sleep. I felt bad for him. he worked himself too hard and I worried terribly for when he actually got into med school. If he was working this hard _now_, how would he fair while taking actual classes and trying to pass exams? And then, how would get through his interning at whatever hospital he ended up at? I worried for his health and his sanity. I know he's strong, but I had heard stories of people cracking under the pressure. I didn't want that happening to Edward.

So it was with that in mind that I sought out Alice's help for a night of fun. The weekends were the only time I could try and drag Edward away from his studies. So I made him promise that this Saturday he would come out with all of us. Alice had mentioned going to the city to see the Neo-futurists.

I didn't really have a clue as to what or who they were, only that we would be seeing some show called "Too Much Light Makes the Baby Go Blind." But the name of the show didn't help give away what to expect. The show didn't start until 11:30pm or something like that, so we had all day to play in the city if we so chose.

But unfortunately, Edward had a class to attend in the early part of the afternoon. He couldn't skip out on it, seeing how he had spent a couple grand on the course. So I would be spending the day as a fifth wheel, something I was not very comfortable with. Edward reassured me that he would meet up with us that night for dinner and the show. I tried not to worry.

Saturday dawned crisp and bitter cold. There was snow covering the ground, making it blindly bright out with the sun reflecting off all of the whiteness. My favorite place to be on cold days like this was wrapped up in Edward's arms, on his bed, under the thick down comforter spread across us. I could almost sleep naked with how warm Edward's body was pressed against mine, our combined body heat causing enough sweat and steam to better suit a sauna. This was especially so when I wanted to help Edward unwind after a stressful day of studying, usually going down on him to erase any tension he may have been carrying.

Like last night, he was so tense and frustrated from the day, when he came he shot off like a canon in my mouth, nearly gagging me on his cum. That was a first. When he heard my throaty noises of disagreement against his seed shooting down my throat, Edward blushed pink and started apologizing.

"Edward, it's not your fault. You can hardly blame yourself for the velocity at which your semen leaves your dick." I don't think that appeased him though, since he just shook his head and nuzzled into my neck, not uttering a word the rest of the night.

He fell asleep quickly, the obvious shame he felt not affecting him too much. I was left lying awake for some time, wondering why just a day of studying could be so stressful for him. it had to be more than that. Was he worried about what schools he'd be accepted to? Worried about what would happen to us if he had to leave the city, or even the state?

I know I was worried about it.

But now, with his angelic face so peaceful with sleep, I couldn't think on anything too troublesome. I was just too enamored with this man, too caught up in how beautiful he was to worry much. I watched as his chest rose and fell slowly, the breath leaving his slightly parted lips. His face held no trace of strain or frustration. The only sign of disturbance was the darkening circles under his eyes, slightly purplish and resembling bruises from lack of sleep. He was working himself too hard.

"Bella. I love you." Edward mumbled out, pulling me closer to him so I could no longer effectively stare at his gorgeous face.

"Edward, how long have you been awake?" I was a bit wary that he had caught me staring, something that I know I did not like while I slept. If he knew I did the same to him, he'd feel he had the right to do so whenever he pleased.

But I got no response from Edward besides more deep, slow breathing. Was he still asleep? This was new. I was always the one sleep talking. Edward had never even so much as muttered in his sleep, let alone blurt out full sentences.

The smile growing on my face almost hurt my cheeks. He was dreaming about me. I wiggled my body to move up his, trying not to disturb his slumber, but desperately wanting to kiss his soft lips.

I was just barely pressing my lips to his when my cell phone rang. The sudden music jolted Edward awake, who I was mid kiss with.

"Good morning my love." Edward said against my lips. "This is quite the way to wake up in the morning." He went to deepen the kiss but two things stopped me: our morning breath, and my phone ringing shrilly by my side. When I pulled away from the kiss, Edward jutted out his bottom lip in that irresistible Cullen pout.

"Bella, are you getting ready for today? Make sure you dress warm because we'll be outside for a big part of the day." Alice was rattling off sentences without any regard to whether or not it was really me who answered the phone.

"Mmhmm, yeah sure Alice. Bye." I hung up, wanting to get back to my very sexy boyfriend.

"What are you guys doing in the city today?" Edward smiled at me, but it didn't touch his eyes, dark and dull with the pain of not being able to join us until later.

"I'm not sure, something outside because Alice told me to bundle up. Though how warm I can get without you is beyond me." I snuggled in deeper against Edward's chest. His only response was a heavy sigh.

We sat in silence for a few minutes more before Edward announced he had to get up and ready for the day. I would have preferred laying here with him to anything else, but it seemed we couldn't stop time from rushing on.

I met up with the other four of our gang outside Emmett's hummer. It was weird to think about riding into the city without being cramped in the backseat. The hummer was one of the first places I had been able to talk to Edward so many months ago. That was back when we were both fighting our mounting attraction, both in denial of what could and eventually would happen. I couldn't help but smile just a bit when I thought back to how awkward and confusing those times had been.

We decided that the first stop had to include food. Emmett was big on this idea of course. So, we made the trek to Soupbox, somewhere that had even better soup than Panera. I was doubtful; I had loyalties to that place. We got in line at the crowded little restaurant, looking over the different photographs from local artists. It was quaint and warm inside, which was refreshing to the biting winds of Chicago winter.

"I'll try the lobster bisque, in a bread bowl of course." I placed my order as my friends surrounding me laughed.

"Is anyone else getting major Seinfeld flashbacks here?" Jasper's eyes were gleaming with mirth.

"NO SOUP FOR YOU." Emmett practically shouted, making the woman in front of him almost drop her bowl. The lady hurried away muttering "fucking idiot" under her breath. That just made us laugh harder.

When we had finished our soup (the bread bowl with it was way too much to eat), I was actually too warm. and oddly enough quite grateful to step outside to cool down some. I told Alice that and she just beamed at me.

"What are we doing now?"

"Ice skating!" Alice began to walk faster, dragging Jasper behind her as the rest of us followed.

Rosalie was soon shivering and I watched with somewhat dismay as Emmett wrapped a burly arm around her. This sucked. A lot. I was by myself with two of the most engrossed couples ever. I bet they would forget I was here. And I ached to have Edward here with me. call it cliché, but I wanted to go ice skating with him. it would not only be romantic, but much safer if I had Edward's arms around me for protection. There's no telling what kind of hurt I could cause with sharp skates.

We walked over to the McCormick-Tribune skating rink and saw hundreds of people in the area either waiting to skate or just finishing. It looked so picturesque, especially when in regards to the hustle and bustle that surrounded the rink. Couples were holding hands as they made circuits around the rink. Little children were forming trains and playing crack the whip. And every so often you'd see a more trained skater doing jumps and spins in the air.

Again, it made me miss Edward.

The two couples were so eager to go skate that they hardly realized my hesitancy to join them on the ice.

"Get your ghetto booty out here Bella!"

Ghetto booty? Where did _that_ come from?

"Um, something tells me that me plus ice equals disaster."

"Don't worry, we won't let you fall." Jasper was trying to ease my nerves and I knew it. it almost worked, though not quite.

They all took turns holding my hand, guiding me along the perilous rink. Every once and awhile we'd all join hands and laugh hysterically as we formed a human wall that other skaters had to go around.

It was fun, but I couldn't fully enjoy it. I felt wrong doing this without Edward. This was his family, his group of friends. He knew them first. Yet here I was enjoying the Saturday with them while he was trapped in some room trying to prepare for one of the most important tests in his life. My eyes began to water from the sorrow I felt for having Edward miss out on this. but the cold wind made the tears burn in my eyes, so I had to blink them out furiously. Besides, I didn't want my friends to see me like this. I'm sure Emmett would just tease me and Alice would undoubtedly want to talk about it til my lungs gave out on me.

The sun had begun to set as we packed up our things to leave the ice rink. Now that I was thoroughly chilled to the bone, I was in need of warming up again. And it seemed that everyone had worked off all the soup they had eaten from before. So now we needed to decide what to do for dinner.

"Edward should be done with his class soon!" I was trying to not sound so pathetically excited, but it slipped out a bit.

"Why don't you call him already?" Rosalie just rolled her eyes at me, as if annoyed by my exuberance towards Edward.

I pulled out my phone as we walked towards Medici on 57th. Apparently they had amazing hot chocolate and delicious burgers. Edward's phone rang several times with no answer. I just assumed it meant he wasn't quite finished with his course. So I left a quick message telling him where we were and to meet us as soon as possible.

We arrived at the restaurant and were greeted with mouth watering aromas wafting towards us. Emmett all but ran towards the door, eager to get seated and start eating. I kept pulling out my phone. _Maybe it's on silent, so that's why I haven't heard his call. _But when I checked, I had no missed calls. _Well maybe the calls aren't going through. _So I had Alice call me to make sure. Her call went through. So I was left thinking that Edward had just decided not to call back. And why the hell would he decide that? I was angry but also worried. _What if something happened to him, if he got in an accident? And I'm wasting time being angry when he's bleeding somewhere? _

My worries were spiraling out of control until the hostess directed us to our seat. We had mentioned we were waiting for a sixth person, so she ushered us to a large table. I took my seat next to the empty place setting, still pulling out my phone every other minute.

It was getting unbearable. I tried calling again and it again went to voicemail. This time I left not such a nice message. I couldn't understand what Edward was doing that would keep him from calling me back and hauling ass over to where we were all waiting.

"I'm not gonna sit around and wait for Edward to get here to order. I'm fucking starving."

Everyone placed their orders. I stuck with just a hot chocolate. I had lost my appetite half an hour ago when Edward should've been done. My stomach was too busy twisting itself into knots.

The restaurant stayed open til midnight, a good thing since none of us felt like leaving until we had to in order to get to the theater where we would be watching the Neo-futurists. I of course also saw relief in this fact because I didn't want to cross paths with Edward if he was on his way. Because maybe it was _his _phone that was broken and that's why I had yet to hear from him.

But now it was 10:15, and there was still no Edward. We had all tried calling him by this point. No one had gotten through. But no one seemed near as worried as I did. What the hell? I was so nervous it was coming out of my limbs, my legs twitching and jerking as they bounced under my chair. Jasper reached a hand out to stop my movements, again, trying to diffuse the situation as only Jasper was known to do. It was no use though.

"Bella, c'mon, we gotta go so we can get in line and wait for the theater to open."

"Huh?"

"Seating is first come first serve. We wanna get there early enough to get good seats. You're gonna love this!" Alice jumped up and clapped as per usual, but her highly contagious good mood was not catching on. I had officially become a sour puss.

Back into the frigid cold, only to wait outside for the damn doors to open, and no warmth from Edward to be had. I was so bitter at this point that I almost considered just getting a cab back to my, I mean, Edward's place. Though I was so pissed off at him that I would probably go to my dorm instead of seeing him. but probably not, I couldn't do that. I was too obsessed with the boy to stay away.

Once the doors opened, we headed inside to buy our tickets. The theater group had an interesting way of how to price them out. You paid a flat rate of $7 plus whatever number you rolled from a die. So you paid anywhere from 8 to 13 dollars. Once you gained admittance, a couple of the group sat waiting to write random names out for you on those "Hello my name is" tags. I looked down at what the dark haired woman had written for me: Mojo. Well I was certainly feeling a loss of mine without Edward.

The theater was really more of a black box, with an odd string hanging across the stage. To that was attached pieces of paper, numbered from 1 to 30. And each guest received a "menu" with the list of 30 different plays. They were going to perform 30 plays in 60 minutes? This should be interesting. And despite myself, I found that I was forgetting about my worries and focusing on reading what each play was titled. Apparently when they shouted "go" the audience shouted the number of the play they wanted to see. Whatever number was loudest was chosen.

"If they sell out for the night, the group orders pizza for everyone." Emmett declared.

"Really? Wow, that's really generous." My friends kind of snickered at me for whatever reason.

Before I could ask what was funny, the room darkened and the "show" began. Each play was written by a member of the Neo-futurists, ranging from the humorous to the deeply depressing. And they were all inspired by some aspect of their real life. From the random nipple rubbing man, to the annoying sombrero wearing "happy birthday" chanting group so reminiscent in restaurants, to the woman declaring her feelings for her lover, I was caught up in a whirlwind of emotions. I was laughing one play and crying the next. These people were really talented.

At the end, because the show had sold out, we all got pizza. Only, it was just one rather large pizza, cut in the tiniest of squares so that everyone could have a piece. So that was why everyone snickered at me. How was I supposed to know that's what they meant by order pizza?

"Did you enjoy that Bella?" Alice looked nervous as we drove back to campus.

"Yeah it was really great. I actually forgot about your douche brother and enjoyed the different plays."

"Good, because we like to go see Too Much Light a lot. Now you can join us!" Alice threw her tiny arm around me, pulling me towards her in the middle seat.

But now that my mind wasn't preoccupied with the performers on the stage, I went back to brooding Bella, stuck on thoughts of what could've happened to Edward and whether or not I would rip him a new one upon first sight.

I went to my room first, dropping off some of the layers of sweaters I had thrown on. Edward was not there, though I had not expected to see him. so I made my way to his apartment. Jasper wisely decided to stay with Alice. I think he was afraid of a fall out going on at his place. I wouldn't want to be there either, only I had no choice.

When I got to his place, I slipped the spare key Edward had given me into the lock and let myself in as quietly as possible. If, on the odd chance Edward was here doing something he shouldn't be (I shuddered at the thought) I did not want to announce my arrival. I didn't hear anything as I made my way down the hall to his room.

When I opened his door, I saw Edward at his desk, back to me, probably _still_ studying.

"Edward fucking Cullen. You promised!" I was seething.

"Huh? Bella is that you?" but the red in my eyes disappeared when I heard his voice. It was groggy with sleep. He had fallen asleep? Like that? How? "What…what time is it? why are you not in the city?" He was adorable in his sleepy confusion. I wanted to go up to him and kiss him more awake, but I was still frustrated.

"Edward, it's past midnight. Of course I'm home. You never joined us!"

"What?!" Edward jumped out of his chair and turned, making his way toward me.

What little frustration I felt was replaced with sympathy. Edward's hair was matted down on one side from where his hand had probably been holding up his head for God knows how many hours of sleep. His eyes were blood shot and the circles under his eyes more pronounced. He looked like shit. The most beautiful shit I'd laid eyes on, but still shit.

"Bella, I'm so sorry. I can't believe I did that."

"What happened?" Tears began to well up in my eyes and the hurt and sadness I had felt all day came crashing down on me.

"I don't know, honestly. I must be more tired than I thought. I came home and was putting some stuff away at my desk and then..next thing I know you're walking through the door. I am so sorry love. Please forgive me." His eyes were drooping with the remorse and exhaustion. The green was there but didn't sparkle. It made my heart hurt. He was definitely over doing it with this test.

"On two conditions. You need to take me ice skating in the city. I felt really left out watching your brother and sister skate with their significant others." I wrapped my arms around him as a show of forgiveness and lifted up on tiptoes to reach his lips for a kiss.

"It's a date, love. What's the other condition?"

"You take it easy. You are beating yourself up and you're not even in school yet! Promise me you'll take more time out to just relax and have fun. You need it to balance out the stress."

"Bella, I can't really…"

"At least promise you'll try." I was begging him. he had to calm this down.

"Ok. I promise to try. But I'll need your help." He picked me up and carried me to the bed, not bothering with the fact that I was still dressed and had shoes on. "Can we start by just relaxing in bed together? I don't want to get out of it until late tomorrow."

"I think that can be arranged Mr. Cullen."

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**Alright. So there it is. I'm not so sure about this one. Honestly, I know you probably saw it coming, but these next chapters will be a bit different and trying since Edward is much more preoccupied with his time. You know what to do, tell me what you think. review it or chat me up at twilighted.  
****I am usually pretty good at responding to all your reviews. But in light of what is to come, I will be forgoing responding to most of them so I can get down more chapters. I didn't think you'd mind if that meant more even while I'm incapacitated, but I thought I'd give you the heads up still. i still read them all, so don't think i will be skipping out on that!Thanks again for all the love. You are the best**


	30. Chapter 30 part i

**a/n: not smeyer**

**I cannot thank you all enough for the love and support you have shown me the past week or so in regards to my surgery.  
****Quick update, I have at least 3 more wks where I'm not supposed to use my hand (this a/n is being typed one handed my lovelies)  
****And this little ditty I'm sending out was part of a longer chapter that I had prepped before the surgery. Only I didn't like a lot f it. so as a special thank you gift, I decided to give you at least this part until I can rework the rest. I hope you enjoy**

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"Bella, love, wake up."

The voice of my very own Adonis was calling out to me. Through my closed lids I could sense how long I had been asleep. Edward's room was filled with bright Chicago sunlight, telling me that the morning was gone. So very tentatively I cracked one eye open, not wanting to blind myself with the rays coming through Edward's windows. When the one eye had adjusted, I opened the other, searching out for Edward.

I didn't see him, but I did smell something delicious.

"Edward?" I called out

"Right here."

Edward stepped through the door to his room and I thought I had died and gone to heaven. There he stood, wearing nothing but grey boxer briefs, crooked smile flashing, hair that adorable mess, and holding a tray laden with scrumptious things to eat.

"Edward." My tone was soft and almost reverent. He should not be making me breakfast in bed. He should've been the one sleeping in late while I got up to serve him. he deserved some pampering after all those rough nights.

"To make up for last night." Edward set the tray on my lap and made to move away.

"Share with me? this is too much for little ol me to eat." I patted the spot next to me on the bed.

Edward's grin widened as he moved to the other side of the bed to climb in. when he was all settled, he leaned in close to me, his lips mere centimeters from my ear.

"May I feed you?"

Edward picked up a large red strawberry and brought it up to my lips. Before I opened my mouth to bite into the ripe fruit, Edward began tracing the tip of it along my lips, coating them with the sweet juice of the fruit. Then he swooped in quickly, his face so close our noses were touching. My eyes closed as I anticipated his lips on mine. Instead I felt his hot tongue lick off the strawberry juice lingering on my lips. I moaned at the contact.

"Open up love." He had pulled away enough for me to see his face clearly. His green eyes were glazed over with lust.

My mouth opened at his command as he brought the fruit back up to my mouth. I used my tongue to bring the strawberry inside, sucking on the tip a bit before slowly sinking my teeth into the ripe flesh. I heard Edward let out a stuttering breath.

"Mm, you should really try some. It's delicious."

Edward's eyes smoldered at my words, tossing the remaining strawberry to the side as he leaned in to taste what was still on my lips and in my mouth. As his tongue twisted with mine, a groan began building in his chest, escaping through his open mouth. I caught the sound with mine, it being almost as delicious as the fruit.

Before I knew what was happening, the tray with food went crashing to the ground as Edward climbed on top of me; straddling my legs, trapping me under his overheated and oversexed body. He pressed into me, allowing me to feel his thick hard erection. I wanted to open my legs to accommodate his body, but I couldn't. Edward could feel me struggling to move and pulled away to smirk at me.

"Is there something you need?"

"Yes," my voice was breathy, "I need you to make love to me."

I did need him. I needed him to take his time wandering my body with his hands. Needed him to take his time kissing every part of my body. And I needed to savor every drop of his delicious flavor, feel every inch of his hardness sheathed inside me.

"It would be my pleasure."

Our hands made quick work of the clothes separating us from each other. But once they were off, it was as if we moved in slow motion.

Edward's hands came up to my breasts, feeling the weight of them in his hands as he cupped those calloused fingers around me. His fingers languorously traced around my nipples, pulling at the hardness, rolling them softly. He touched me as if for the first time. With each caress I whimpered and mewled. I would've been embarrassed except that there was no way of keeping those noises at bay. Edward's hands were working me into an incoherent puddle of mush.

And it didn't get any easier as Edward's hands journeyed down to my now dripping core. I was slick and completely ready for him. when his fingers reached their destination, Edward let out another throaty groan of pleasure.

"So wet for me love."

His thumb found my over sensitive bundle and began to rub circles on me while he pressed one slender finger at my entrance, slowly dipping it inside me. the feel of his fingers all over me was maddening but I wanted more from him. I was getting close.

"More please." My hips jerked up towards Edward's hands, urging him to go further.

He readily complied, thrusting two fingers into my heated sex. He wasted no time, pumping into me quickly, curling his fingers to hit my G spot. It was all so overwhelming and before I knew it, my body was convulsing, juices dripping down my thigh as I came in a burst of light and stars. When I had calmed down enough to speak, I turned to look at Edward.

"Edward, I want to taste you now." The strawberries were good but had nothing on him.

I felt Edward tremble ever so slightly above me before I pushed on his shoulders, trying to guide him down on the bed. When he was flat on his back, I took my time to appreciate his glorious body, the musculature of his torso, so well defined and hard under the smooth pale skin there.

My fingernails raked down along his chest, leaving just barely there marks, forming lines that led me to my final destination. As my hands continued their descent, I finally reached the base of his cock, hard and long as he laid before me. I used both hands to grip onto him, pumping him slowly as I leaned down to slowly tease his tip with my tongue. Edward hissed in pleasure, hips bucking up slightly to try and find more satisfaction than what just my tongue was offering.

I couldn't tease much longer, wanting to taste him fully, just as he wanted to feel my lips around him. I lowered my head slowly, relaxing my jaw as I took him into my mouth, wanting to swallow him down my throat. I knew he wouldn't come in my mouth, so I needed his cock to fill me up there as much as possible. I bobbed up and down on him slowly. Edward's hands came to rest on my head, twisting his fingers in my hair, wanting to help guide me in a pace that we could both enjoy.

"Bella…" Edward was panting. "I need to be in you, please. I want to come inside your beautiful pussy."

I released my hold on him, then moved to crawl up his body, wanting to sink down on him. My hips were positioned above his now red and swollen head, hovering and waiting to lower myself. I wanted to go slowly, wanted to fully enjoy and appreciate how he spread me wide, filled me up completely, made me feel whole. As I sank down on his shaft, we both let out moans of pleasure, reveling in the slow, unadulterated ecstasy of our love making.

I moved on top of Edward, rocking and grinding against him as he thrust deeply inside me. I could feel the tingles begin, making my nipples harden again and my whole body radiate passion. But before I could climax again, Edward rolled us over, never falling out.

I looked at this beautiful man hovering above me, thrusting into me deeply and slowly. His eyes were half closed as he continued his movements, mouth partly opened with the deep pulls of his lungs. He continued the steady pace, taking his time with me so we didn't rush to our ends just yet.

"I love you Isabella Marie Swan." He breathed out his declaration, speeding up and punctuating each word with an even harder thrust.

"I love you too Edward. Oh god, yes, please faster!"

And he did go faster. He plunged into me hard and fast, making me quiver and start to clench down around his cock. I was getting close and Edward could tell. He brought his hand down to where our bodies were joined together and began to work on my clit.

"I want you to come for me, come _with_ me love."

His thrusts, his touches, and his words had me falling over the edge. I felt Edward tense up inside me then watched in awe as his eyes rolled back ever so slightly when he released inside of me.

Edward tried to move off me before collapsing, but didn't quite make it, half his body still crashing into as his arms gave way to his weight. But I loved him pressed into me, I didn't mind. Besides, I was too exhausted to make much of a difference anyway. It had been weeks since we had made love like that, and my body was tired.

"Mm, Edward." I had a hard time speaking.

"Yeah…"

We woke up several hours later, the sun hung low in the sky. I rolled over instinctively, searching for Edward.

"Right here, love." He reached out to me and pulled me in close to his bare chest. "Are you up for a bit more physical activity?" those damn sexy eyebrows began wiggling at me.

"If it involves you, then yes."

"Good. Because I owe you a trip to the ice rink."

That was not what I had in mind.

--

After putting on layer after layer of clothes for the second time this weekend, Edward and I ventured out into the cold. We made it to the rink quickly, with Edward leading the way out onto the ice. He held my hand as I tentatively stepped out, bracing myself in case the ice had a score to settle with me from before (since I had managed to keep my ass off the ice for most of the time the day before). But Edward kept a firm grasp on my waist, keeping me tucked into his side as he began to glide across the ice effortlessly.

_This is what yesterday should've been like, _I thought to myself. It was perfect being here, wrapped in Edward's warm, strong arms. I hardly even minded the cold. Edward's nose and cheeks were reddening from the frosty air and he looked so adorable I had to kiss him. I pulled away, which surprised Edward, and moved in front of him. I wanted to look at him straight on when I kissed him.

But as luck would have it, my feet had other plans.

As I tried to spin to face Edward, my right foot got caught up in the blade of my left skate. I started to fall forward, but stuck my arms out and threw my weight back to adjust my body. Unfortunately I over compensated and started to fall backwards. I was dangerously close to having a sore ass, when Edward's arms shot out and wrapped around my body, hugging me close to him for safety.

"You ok?" I nodded a little sluggishly, my mind still a little jarred. "What were you trying to do?"

"Uh, I just wanted to give you a proper kiss." My embarrassment darkened my already cold flushed cheeks.

"Oh, in that case." Edward dipped me down low again then kissed me hard.

A few couples hollered at us as they skated by, making me crimson from the top of my head to my neck.

We continued skating until snow began falling softly from the sky. It was beautiful, but also a bit wet and very cold. As we moved off the ice, a couple to the right of us caught my attention. They were young, probably only 5 years older than either Edward or me. The man was fidgeting, nervously stuffing his hands in his pockets as his significant other laced up her skates. He kept taking tentative steps towards her, looking as if he were about to stumble forward. And then, just when I thought I couldn't stand to watch this bumbling fool anymore, he called out to his date, who turned to look at him, and got down on one knee.

I let out a gasp when I realized why this man had been so nervous. I elbowed Edward in the side hard to get his attention. He turned to watch with me.

The woman looked like she had a similar reaction to me, her mouth hanging open as her hand flew to her chest. She was utterly shocked. But the look of shock was soon erased as I watched her mouth a "yes" to her now fiancé. I watched with rapt attention as he slid the ring on her finger and she embraced him tightly. They kissed for a moment, completely lost to the world surrounding them, then made their way to the ice rink, both glowing from their happiness.

"Edward, did you _see_ that? Oh my god that was so romantic! The setting, the falling snow, the surprise…Can you even imagine? I wonder what it would feel like to be proposed to like that."

The words slipped before I had a chance to think about what I could have been implying. Edward stiffened next to me, silent as a ghost, and as pale as one.

Shit. He thought I wanted…that I meant…that could be us…

Which is something I had thought long and hard on. And had come to the conclusion that I _did _want that to be us sometime in the future. I just didn't want Edward to know that. I'm sure the idea of marriage was far from his mind, especially since he was so focused on medical school, I did not want to scare him away, make him think that was what I expected. I clearly knew that he would be able to do so much better than me. why would he choose to marry the likes of me when he could have literally any woman he wanted?

Just like that, the good mood I was in turned for the worse. That would be Edward and some other incredibly lucky woman. Not me.

"Ready to go?" Edward's voice sounded distant, removed.

"Yeah." So did mine.

The ride home was silent, neither of us wanting to break the awkward tension fogging up the inside of the Volvo, making it hard to see anything in our future. I wanted to cry, wanted to punch myself for opening my mouth and saying anything at all, but I couldn't do it in front of Edward.

When we reached his apartment, I was suddenly worrying about the tension we'd feel having to sleep in the same bed together. I didn't know how to act around him right now. Should we cuddle and kiss and possibly make love again like we would normally do? I didn't think I could. _How do you react when you realize the man of your dreams, the man you would go to hell and back for, the man you wanted to spend the rest of your life and possibly forever with, did not feel the same?_

"Bella, are you alright?" Edward finally spoke.

"No." the word was raspy on my tongue. "I'm not feeling well." It wasn't a lie technically. "I think I need to sleep."

"Ok, let's get you in bed and asleep, love."

That was the first time I resented his pet name for me

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**you know by now, i appreciate reviews, esp for something like this  
and LoveEqualsEDWARD, after the incrediblt sexy scene with rhage feeding mary, ung, i had to put that in. hope it pleases your vajayjay. it totally makes mine quiver in delight.  
thank you again...come join me at twilighted(dot)net if you wanna chat about PT or the other fab stories. bc well, i make reg appearances there. for sho**


	31. Chapter 30 part ii

**a/n: not smeyer**

**sorry for the slow update. hand is almost 100% this here is dedicated to you ladies at twilighted who would keep me from updating just to corrupt my innocence. heh  
today's pimpage goes out to...ninapolitan and her bella swan diaries. gimmee hotbitch anyday.  
and not to be forgotten, lipsmacked's so obvious. jake of my dreams...  
ALSO i am beta-ing for . go check her story Camp Cullen. it has the vamps**

That night had been awkward. We climbed into Edward's bed, still silent, and without much touching. I was at a loss, not knowing what to do or say to pull us out of this…whatever it was. I had curled up in a little ball on the very edge of my side of the bed. Thoughts of how our night had turned to absolute ruin ran around in my head, crowding out all other thoughts and leaking out of me in the form of tears. Sobs were working their way from deep in my gut and up my throat. But I would not let them escape, not let them overcome me. I did not want Edward to know I was crying. And so with great swallows and deep breaths, I calmed my quaking body to the point where only a few big tears escaped the corners of my eyes.

It was then that I noticed how agitated Edward was, tossing and turning in the bed next to me. His movements were punctuated with long, heavy sighs. He was struggling, with what..I didn't want to think about. But he was clearly suffering. And I hated a hurt Edward. I may be suffering and hurt, but I never wanted Edward to be so. I longed to reach out and comfort him, still his restless body. But I was afraid, for the first time in a long time, to bridge that gap between us; in case he did not want that from me right now.

"Edward." I spoke softly, half of me hoping it was so quiet he couldn't hear me, the other half longing for his response.

"Bella?" He sounded almost surprised to hear me speak. I suppose he hadn't noticed my own struggles as he dealt with his. Edward turned so he was facing my back, coming closer to my body, still in a fetal like position. "Can I hold you?"

The need to burst into tears was almost overwhelming.

"Yeah." My voice was warbled, getting stuck in my throat along with the sobs.

"Thank you."

Edward's strong arms came to me, wrapped around my waist and pulled me close to his chest. My ear was placed on his sternum and I heard his heart beating wildly under his ribcage. Edward buried his face in the hair that was piled on my head. He was breathing in deeply and calmly, taking in the scent of my hair. And those actions in themselves helped to soothe the storm that was raging inside me. I grabbed on to as much of Edward as I could grab, not wanting to let go.

We had fallen asleep all tangled up together, not moving the entire night. I woke up to Edward's peaceful face, all trace of anxiety gone. And when Edward's eyes blinked open and gazed on me, his crooked smile in place, I didn't want to bring up what had happened the night before. I didn't want to make Edward hurt like he did then. And lord knows I didn't want to feel that way either. It was easier to stay happy like this, in each other's arms, than to face the problem that was lurking under the surface.

--

After that rather trying weekend, Edward tried his hardest to not stress and work his fingers to the bone over the upcoming test. He was shooting for a date in March to take the exams. That would put his test results getting to him sometime in April hopefully. The results would be sent to the schools of his choice and so hopefully it wouldn't be long before they got back to him, either accepting or rejecting his application. And if he did not get the responses he liked, the process would start all over again.

That thought was a bit overwhelming.

I can't imagine Edward doing this more than once. He was already crazy out of his mind with worry and stress. How much can one man take? Like I said, he was trying to not stress out too much, but I knew Edward. He's a perfectionist and he doesn't half ass anything. That anything included his relationship with me. he was in over his head trying to be the perfect boyfriend along with the perfect student.

I knew he was busy and didn't want him to feel obligated to try and compensate for time lost between us. But he must have. I regretted my condition to him that night, to make him promise to try and relax. Because he took it as a wakeup call that he needed to be more attentive to me. that wasn't my point at all. He missed it completely.

Edward would spend all day studying while I was at class, only to come home and want to stay up til the wee hours of the night catching up on what he had "missed." The man needed sleep. And every time I insisted, urged, begged, scolded, just plain asked him to sleep he'd shrug it off.

One night it was so bad he was about to fall asleep during foreplay. That was when I pulled out the big guns. I promised to withhold sex if he didn't get more sleep.

"You love sex almost more than I do. You wouldn't last." He laughed lazily at me as he continued to fight sleep, throwing back a red bull in an attempt to reenergize himself.

"Damnit, Edward. It's not about the sex. It's about your health. I don't think you understand how ragged you are right now. I swear the flu would kill you off with how bad your immune system probably is. Besides, if needs be, I'll have Rose and Alice take me to get a vibrator to please me until you've come to your senses."

"What?" Edward looked more alive than I had seen him in days. "No fucking dildo will ever take my place!" He stormed to bed and got under the covers, throwing them over his body rather hastily.

"That's right honey." I patted his head as Edward grumbled out nonsense about vibrators and King Tong. I just patted his head as he drifted off to sleep.

--

It was the day before Valentine's Day. I didn't really care much for the Hallmark holiday, but Edward seemed really giddy about it. I supposed it had a lot to do with the fact that he had never really had anyone of real value to spend it with. But I didn't want him to go overboard. I pleaded with him to just let us stay in, have me cook dinner for the two of us, but Edward wouldn't hear of it.

"Bella, it's a holiday celebrating love. Which we share. So let me do something for you. Besides, I've already made plans. There's no getting out of them now."

My grumbling response just brought about laughter from him. it angered me, but what was I to do? Our alone time was precious, few and far between, so if he was willing to forsake his studying for the day, I would take it.

"Well, what are the plans?" I turned to him as he put away his study material.

"Love, it's a surprise." His duh tone irritated me to no end.

"You know I…"

"Hate surprises. Right. But too bad. What's done is done." He came over to wrap me up in a tight hug. "Would you like to do something tonight?" I was shocked.

"Really? You're going to take off tonight and tomorrow?"

"Of course. I want to spend time with my beautiful girlfriend." Edward's smirk should've been a warning signal for me. He was up to no good. But again, I would be spending more quality time with him, so I wasn't about to complain.

"Then I would love to do something tonight."

"Great, let's go!" Edward's eyes shone out with excitement.

"Right now?"

"Yup." He held his hand out to me, waiting for me to grab hold so he could lead me out of his apartment.

We got in the Volvo and headed out towards the city. It was a Friday night, and the roads were pretty crowded. I wondered how many were going into the city for a weekend getaway. I envied couples who had that much leisure time to spend an entire weekend devoted to each other. Would Edward and I ever be like that? Before I could let myself get sucked down into unhappy thoughts, I spoke up.

"So where are we going?"

"You'll see." He responded with that sexy smirk.

"But nothing too expensive, right? Especially if you'll be spending money tomorrow."

"Nah, nothing too expensive." The smirk turned into his genuine crooked smile and I felt myself relax a bit.

We were in an area that seemed somewhat familiar and I wondered why. Though we had several outings in the city, I was still not that knowledgeable about the different areas and neighborhoods. But then we approached what had to be the final destination for the night. I gasped loudly and saw Edward's face light up with a truly breathtaking smile.

"Really?"

"Yup."

I let out a very loud, Alice like squeal.

Edward parked the car and I shot out of it, not even waiting for him to come around and help me out. That did not go over well his gentlemanly side, but I could really care less. We hadn't had the opportunity to go back to El Famous since the first time he had me eat there. I was more than excited for more.

"You know Edward, you could bring me here tomorrow too and it would be the perfect Valentine's date."

Edward threw me an outraged glare.

"El Famous is _not_ a suitable Valentine's date, Bella."

I did my best to stifle the laughter as Edward led me inside. We sat and ate with ease. It was a change of pace to be together with nothing eminent looming over us. I knew there were things we probably should've discussed, as in what would happen to us if he had to leave for school. But in all honesty, being together like _this _was so abnormal for us lately, that I didn't want to ruin the moment. I was afraid if I opened my mouth and questioned where our relationship was heading, the night would turn into a disaster; much like the episode at the ice rink. I did not want a repeat performance of that night. So I just enjoyed the two of us, eating our Mexican, while chatting about our friends and other random things.

When we finished, I was feeling quite full and satisfied, stuffed like a Thanksgiving turkey. I had every intention of going back to Edward's place to…relax. But that idea drifted out of my mind once Edward had helped me into the Volvo and got himself in the driver's seat. He turned and gave me a wicked smile.

"Isabella, do you trust me?"

"Uh, normally I would say yes…but something tells me…"

"Love, do you trust me?"

"Yes?" I squeaked out. The wicked grin grew even bigger and I audibly gulped.

"Excellent. If you'll allow me please…" Edward pulled a thick black scarf from his back pocket. The sight made me panic.

"What? No…no…what are you going to do?"

"Trust, Isabella." And before I could utter another concern or even attempt to stop him, Edward had that fabric covering my eyes, tying it behind my head. "Can you see anything?"

"No." Though I was desperately trying to see something, Edward was pretty damn efficient at blind folding me. _Hm…_

It was silent then in the car. All I could hear was the steady and smooth sound of the tires against the road. Being without sight was really starting to agitate my nerves. I had no idea where we were headed. I did trust Edward, but it didn't ease my feelings much. He could be up to anything. I should've listened to the warning signals going off in my brain.

"Um, Edward…where are we going?"

"You'll see, almost there." I heard the mischief in his voice. My full, happy stomach was now feeling very uncomfortable indeed.

A few more minutes passed and I felt like screaming with how uneasy I felt about the whole situation.

"Edward, I can't take not knowing anymore. Please, tell me where.."

"We're here. Let me take that off for you." Edward's warm big hands came to the knot behind my head and loosened the fabric that covered my eyes.

When the offending scarf fell from my face, I was left with a perfect view of a towering building, nestled close to the Magnificent Mile.

"What is this place?"

"The Peninsula Chicago. Happy Valentine's day, love."

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**sorry it's short, part deux i suppose. review por favor. next chapter will be back to my normal length as i can now pretty much type as much as i please, tho the hand does need a rest at times.  
again, if you wanna chat, come join the twilighted boards. we all have way too much fun over there.**

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	32. Chapter 31

**a/n: not smeyer. Blah blah blah**

**I am fail. I know it. **

**this chapter is dedicated to Sarah-Loves-Edward because she left me so many reviews and a lovely pm that just helped me get back into this after some disheartening goings on. **

**And it being the holidays and all..i have a pressie for those who don't already know. The ever glorious ninapolitan and I have collabed for wtvoc and jandco's Cullen Christmas goodness. Check out our oneshot…it's more than a bit irreverent and different than PT, just as a warning. As if the title couldn't alert you to that: **_**Twas the Twat Before Christmas.**_** You'll love it, I just know it.**

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BPOV

"The Peninsula Chicago? Edward, what is this place?" I continued to stare at the building in front of me, worried as to what was waiting inside. Whatever it was, my current attire couldn't be appropriate. I was in sweats for God's sake.

"Come on, I'll show you."

Edward grabbed hold of my hand and led me through the revolving doors into a simple yet elegant lobby. I noticed a desk with a man waiting behind it. I was busy admiring the black patterns on the floor, the rich colors surrounding me, the lighting overhead. I didn't realize Edward was walking us towards the man behind the counter.

"Good evening, welcome to The Peninsula Chicago. How may I help you?"

"Reservation, under Cullen."

"Yes, of course." The man gave Edward an appraising nod, though turned to look at me and…grimaced.

What. the. fuck?

But then the disgruntled man handed Edward a…room key?

"Edward, you didn't!" I said on an over exaggerated exhale.

"Your room awaits you, my love." And with grand sweeping motion, Edward gestured for me to take hold of his hand and led me to the lobby.

We stepped into a bright room, decorated in neutrals. Columns stood in intervals, creating more intimate spaces throughout the grand layout. The wall sconces were gold and created more ambient lighting. The floor was hardwood, but had plush rugs that I was afraid to step on. And the seating, well I didn't think I should sit on any of the chairs either. Knowing me, I would spill or drop something, ruining thousands of dollars worth of furniture.

But it was really hard to concentrate on what was surrounding me, since all I could think about was my own appearance. I looked like a bum, especially in contrast to the décor inside. How could Edward take me here when I looked like this? I didn't even have a change of clothes for myself.

Edward must have seen the frustration on my face because once we were in the elevator, doors safely closed; he turned to look me right in the eyes.

"I'm sorry if you are upset at this all. I know you wanted something simple, but I couldn't help myself. You are so special to me that I had to do something equally so. Please don't worry about the money. You know it's not a big thing."

The fact that I should be upset at him spending, quite possibly, a small fortune hadn't crossed my mind. I was too busy feeling so out of place that I couldn't comprehend the idea of how much this must've cost Edward.

"Oh! You're right! You shouldn't be spending this much money on me! what were you thinking?" Edward eyed my quizzically.

"Wait, you mean to tell me that the look on your face wasn't from my gift to you?"

"Well, not at first…but now it is."

"Listen, Bella. You know that my grandparents had very little when they first started their life together. They couldn't give my dad the finer things in life. The trust funds they set up for me and my siblings were meant to be used to make us happy. And nothing could make me happier than spoiling you. What else would I do with my money?" He flashed that lopsided grin at me and all plans of defending my side left me.

"Ok."

"Ok? Hm, I like accommodating Bella." The grin turned into a smirk and then quickly twitched down into a frown. "So why did you look like you were about to rip off my head back there?"

The elevator doors binged open and we started towards a set of double doors. Edward reached out and slid the key into place, unlocking the doors and allowing us access. He twisted the knob, about to push open the door, then stopped.

"Bella?"

"Hm?" Ok, I admit it, I was growing impatient. I wanted to see what was behind the doors.

"What had you so upset?" Oh, right.

"Edward, look at me!"

"I am." He responded with a sexy drawl.

"Shut up. I'm in freaking sweats right now. You didn't warn me. I have nothing to change into. And if you expect me to leave this room with only the clothes on my back, you are sadly mistaken. Because I will not look a fool to the entire staff and patrons at this hotel."

"Love, I have no intention of letting you leave this room." The sexy smirk was back as he pushed open the door.

I gasped for what felt like the hundredth time, again. The entrance led into a beautiful sitting room with finely upholstered armchairs and sofa. The lamps were all dimmed to create a more romantic feeling. Soft piano music filtered through the air. I noticed that there was a faint flickering, and took in the lit candles on the coffee table, the desk, the end tables. And then, there were the flowers. Not roses, but beautiful orchids in varying shades of red and pink, arranged intricately in thick, modern crystal vases

"Edward, oh my god." My tone was hushed, more reverent than shocked. How did he manage all this? "How…"

"I have my ways." He picked up a squat square vase with shortly trimmed orchids, handed it to me then gave me a chaste kiss on the lips. "Happy Valentine's Day." He told me again.

"But it's not even Valentine's Day yet."

"As far as I'm concerned, this whole weekend is one long day. The MCATs are coming up soon. I want to spend as much time with you as possible before reverting back to a more stressful me."

I wondered if he knew I had taking to calling him Stressward behind his back…

"It's all so beautiful…the flowers..they're lovely." I held them up to my nose to inhale their fragrance.

"Did you know orchids symbolize beauty?" I shook my head no. "They are lovely, true. But they do not even compare to you, my love."

"Edward, that was so…cheesy!" I laughed at him, probably not the best thing to do when he had taken time out for such a romantic getaway. Luckily I saw him chuckling along with me.

"Yeah it was, huh?" He abruptly stopped laughing. "Doesn't make it any less true though." He pulled me into an embrace, burying his nose in my hair. "You also smell better than these orchids." He stepped back, but kept one arm around my waist. "Let's go to the bedroom."

"Ohhhh…so you're trying to get me naked and in bed huh?"

"If the mood strikes…" I caught a glimpse of Edward's crooked grin before he threw open a set of French doors.

Inside the bedroom were more of the same fabulous golds and neutrals that the entire place was decorated in. A king size bed was placed directly in the center of the room, up against one wall. A chaise longue sat opposite the bed, a creamy white with matching throw pillows. I noticed a door off to the side that I assumed led to the bathroom. So I walked towards it, wanting to see if the bathroom was as nice as the rest of the room. When I turned on the light, I felt my eyes widen.

"Holy shit!"

"What? What's going on?" Edward followed in after me, fear in his voice.

"Look at the tub!"

I pointed over to the largest tub I had ever seen. But the size wasn't what impressed me most. It was the _view!_ There was a large window alongside the tub, overlooking Michigan Ave. The streets below were filled with cars and pedestrians, off to whatever destination. The lake glimmered from all the city lights reflecting off the smooth surface. It was so beautiful. All of it. And I was going to be spending the entire weekend here, with Edward.

"I take it you like the bathroom?"

"We are so getting in this tub later." My thoughts took me back to that night in Edward's tub, his hands rubbing my shoulders as I pressed against his erection. I must've got lost in those thoughts, because soon Edward was peering down at me.

"What are you thinking about?"

"The night of the party, in your tub, you massaging me. God your hands are so good. I could really use another massage right about now." I winked at him, hoping he'd take the hint and just strip me down so he could rub me down.

"I'm glad you said that. Because I scheduled us a couple's massage tomorrow."

I felt disappointment leak in. Not that I was ungrateful, but I wanted Edward's hands on me, not some stranger's. I don't know how I would handle another set of hands on me, rubbing and kneading while I was basically naked. I decided not to dwell on it. This was Edward's gift to me, and I didn't want to ruin it.

We left the bathroom, walking back towards the giant bed. I noticed a LV suitcase on the floor by the foot of the bed. How had I missed that? I turned to look at Edward who was smiling back at me. I didn't picture Edward as the kind of guy to own that. So that must mean it was for me. After hoisting the surprisingly heavy piece of luggage onto the bed, I opened it to find clothes and toiletries for me. Someone, somehow had packed for me. I had a sneaking suspicion it was my best friend.

"Alice?" Edward nodded.

"This weekend wouldn't have been possible without her help."

I started rummaging through the clothes Alice had packed. I noticed a lot of casual items, well at least casual to Alice. There were "sweats" but those ridiculous PINK ones from Victoria's Secret that I would never wear on a regular basis. I found some jeans and sweaters, and endless amounts of casual but most likely expensive tees. Edward must have been serious when he said he had no intention of leaving the room, otherwise Alice would have packed something far fancier than all this.

Then my eyes trained on a small box with VS's trademarked stripes. On the outside, tucked into the silver elastic holding the box together, was a note from Alice.

"_Bella, something a bit more 'comfortable' for you to slip into. You can thank me later…or not…I'm sure you'll put it to good use._

_Alice"_

I shut the lid and closed up the luggage before Edward could see what I was looking at. And then, with more strength than I thought I had, I picked up the LV suitcase and headed back towards the bathroom.

"Where are you going?" Edward called over to me, his entire body sprawled out on the bed.

"Just want to freshen up a bit." I tried to plaster the most innocent expression I owned on my face. I obviously could not use the term "slip into something more comfortable" without rousing suspicion, since I was dressed solely for comfort.

"K, but hurry back..please?" Edward unleashed the full force of his pout on me, making me scamper towards the bathroom.

Once the bathroom door had shut, I rushed to strip out of my oversized sweats. A quick whiff of the pits assured me that I was in fact, "sure" and ready to go. Then I pulled out the box that held some type of lingerie that I'm sure would be phenomenal. Alice had phenomenal taste and all.

Opening up the box, I saw a lot of red. How fitting. Alice was always one to color coordinate any outfit to the occasion. I pulled the lingerie on and looked it over. I began to dress myself in the red bustier, frills along the cups, and black straps holding me up and in place. The tiny red bikinis also had frills that made them all the more feminine. And just to add to the sex factor, I stepped into and rolled up the black thigh highs, hooking them to the garter so they'd stay in place. The only thing missing were the fuck me heels.

Then I noticed a pair of red peep toes nestled in the bottom of the luggage, almost completely covered up by the rest of my things. As if Alice would forget the shoes. I almost laughed out loud, but kept myself in check.

Since I had the outfit, I wanted to freshen up the face some. I opted for just some eyeliner, mascara and red lipstick (compliments of, again, Alice). I pulled my hair out of the band it was in and ran my fingers through it quickly, trying to reduce any sign of a kink.

"Are you almost done in there?" Edward yelled from the other side of the door.

After a few deep breaths and another quick once over, I opened the door slowly. I stood there, one arm on my hip, the other against the frame to support myself. Edward didn't notice me right away, which was a good thing. It allowed me to stare unabashedly. The covers had been turned down, and Edward lay over them, wearing just a pair of forest green boxer briefs. My eyes drank in the site of his toned abs, dim light casting shadows along hard lines. The pendant with my name on it hung around his neck, resting between his pectorals, just like always. But for some reason, seeing it tonight tugged at my heart. He always wore it; always had my name by his heart.

"Mm, Bella you look…ravishing."

His eyes traveled down my body, lingering at my chest before continuing the journey down to my lower half. I felt my panties dampen at the pure lust in his eyes. Then I noticed a large basket placed on the small table next to the bed.

"What's all that?"

"Hm?" Edward's eyes came back up to mine, slightly confused from the dirty thoughts sure to be running rampant in his head. "Oh this? Just a little Valentine's gift."

He began rummaging through the basket, pulling out different items: chocolate covered strawberries, champagne, truffles, cheeses and…whipped cream? My gaze returned to Edward, questioning the out of place item.

"Er…my own little addition. I figured you would want dessert so…" Edward ripped the cap off the can of whipped cream with his mouth. His unoccupied hand went to the elastic band of his underwear, pulling it down hastily. Then, before my very stunned eyes, Edward pressed down on the nozzle and covered the entire length of his cock with the whipped cream. "Come and get it."

--

The next morning I woke up in the best possible position: pressed against Edward's naked body, legs tangled together with his arms wrapped tightly around me. I breathed in deeply and sighed at the heavenly scent of sex and Edward. My mouth couldn't help but place soft kisses on Edward's chest, letting my tongue peek out every so often to lap up the sweet taste of his skin. I could feel his muscles contracting under my touch.

"Mm…morning love." Edward slowly opened his eyes, trying to blink away the sleep.

"More like good afternoon." I looked up at him and smirked. It was usually me sleeping in late.

"Shit, Bella I had the whole morning planned out…with breakfast and everything."

"Shh, don't worry. I just barely woke up."

Edward groaned as he pulled me even closer, rolling onto his back and taking me on top of him. I could feel his morning wood pressing into me through the sheets that had tangled up between us. A moan escaped my lips as I began to shift against him.

"Bella, we need to get up or we'll miss our appointment for the couple's massage."

"Ugh, Edward can't we skip that? Your hands are _more _than enough. A massage from you is all I need." I tried to plead with him, but all I got out of Edward was a sexy smirk. It looked…far from innocent and I wondered why.

"Don't worry, silly. You'll enjoy this. We _both_ will enjoy this."

I reluctantly rolled out of bed and made to put on some clothes when Edward stopped me. Apparently he had robes brought up for us. He expected me to just slip into the terry cloth and walk up to the spa, with nothing on underneath. I tried to complain but he simply held open the robe from me. He was still gloriously naked, dick slightly hard from earlier in bed. And he just stood there, smirking at me, using his body as a weapon to weaken my resolve.

Damn him.

When we finally reached our destination, I looked around and noticed how empty the place was. I had just assumed that on Valentine's Day, at such a nice hotel, there would be other couples to enjoy the benefits of this facility.

"Edward, where is everybody?"

"Uh…I rented out the place for the next couple of hours." My jaw dropped and just barely missed hitting the expensive Italian marble floor. "I just figured you'd be more comfortable if it was just the two of us." He smiled, genuine and sweet.

"Yeah..and the massage therapists." I griped, slightly under my breath. But Edward must have heard it because I saw his smile transform back into that smirk.

"Mr. and Mrs. Cullen?"

I heard a soft voice call out. I thrilled at the use of Mrs. Cullen, even if it was so far from the truth. Then the woman that belonged to the voice stepped into view. She was tall and very blonde, and just a little too seductively dressed. If she was Edward's masseuse I might just throw a fit.

"Yes, that's us." Edward didn't correct her, and my heart nearly stopped dead. I didn't want to read into it too much…he might have just not wanted to make the effort to correct her…or maybe there was some deeper meaning behind it.

"My name is Lauren. I'll be taking care of you today. If you'd please follow me." She sashayed just a little too much as she led us over to two lone massage tables. Then I noticed a curtain separating them.

"What's the curtain for?" An evil grin spread across Lauren's face.

"Just for some privacy while things are…_situated._"

My eyes widened as I sought out Edward, willing him to correct this Lauren bitch. We didn't need privacy. This was a fucking couple's massage. Weren't we supposed to be able to see each other? And what the hell did she mean by "situated?" I did not like the sounds of this at all.

"Um, are you our masseuse?" Please say no, please say no, please say no.

"No."

Oh thank god.

"You may remove your robe and get situated on the table now. There are blankets to cover you if you get cold or want more privacy. But remember, the masseuse needs access to as much skin as possible to insure proper relaxation."

I watched as Edward walked to the other side of the curtain, too thick to see any silhouette through. I was hesitant to remove the only article of clothing on me. I had no idea if the person about to touch me would be male or female. I hoped it would be a woman because I don't know if I could stomach another man's hands on me. it would feel like a betrayal.

But oh shit, what if Edward had a woman as well? The jealousy was enough to make me queasy.

"Are you all settled, love?" I heard Edward call from the other side of the curtain.

I lay down and pulled the white blanket up over my legs and butt. No one would be seeing that today except Edward.

"Yeah." My voice was shaky as I responded

All of a sudden calming music filled the air. It helped ease the nerves somewhat. But my body was still filled with nervous energy, anticipating what was to come. I faintly made out soft footsteps approaching me and immediately tensed. And before I knew it, large warm hands were touching my bare feet. I jumped at the contact and made to turn and look at who I now knew was a male massage therapist. But that hand moved and held me down by my shoulder.

"Relax Mrs. Cullen."

And I did. And I didn't know why. The voice seemed to have a familiar lilt to it that calmed me down.

When I made no show of moving, both hands were again on my left foot, slowly kneading the sensitive skin there. It felt so good. And I wanted to know the name of the person who could rub my feet so well.

"What's your name?"

"Shh." Was the only response I got.

Two thumbs rubbed into the arch of my foot, circling the skin and adding delicious pressure. When the mystery man had worked the area to his satisfaction, he began to roll my ankle, using his fingers to slightly pull at each toe, creating a slightly erotic feeling to emerge from me.

And I felt so guilty.

I didn't want to feel like that as some man rubbed my foot. I mean, it was my fucking foot for god's sake. His hands moved away and I calmed down. But once they found my other foot the feeling returned. I felt a moan building up in my throat and bit down on my tongue to keep it inside. I did not want to Edward to hear. _He _wasn'tmaking any noises.

After my right foot was finished, the man's hands left me yet again. Cold air assaulted my legs as I felt him push the blanket up, almost exposing my entire butt to him. And then I felt the warm sensation of his oil as he began to work my calves. Each hand found a calf and began to rub and knead out all trace of tension. After last night's activities, I definitely needed it. and this time I couldn't help the moan that left my throat.

I heard Edward's soft chuckle and realized that if he knew _who _was rubbing me, he would not be laughing

"It's not funny Edward." I waited for some snarky come back but was met with silence.

The massage therapist's hands moved higher up my legs, now on the back of my thighs. Every so often a thumb would move dangerously close to my center. I thanked god for the massage oil, as it could easily be confused with any wetness that may be forming down there.

I felt so ashamed. I could not believe I was getting so turned on by this massage. How would I explain it to Edward? If I wasn't careful, I'd be making noises only he should hear. I just needed to focus on something else. I was enjoying this too much.

So I thought of the least sexy things possible: Clay Aiken submitting a sperm donation, Andy Dick administering fellatio techniques, Carrot Top's eyebrows, and lastly, Michael Jackson having sex with…anything.

It worked. And luckily, the man skipped right past my ass and to my shoulders.

I held a lot of tension there, I knew that. It didn't help matters that I was actively thinking disgusting thoughts in order to stay sane. Those strong hands, almost slippery with oil kneaded relentlessly at my tight muscles. I groaned, but this time out of relaxation, not…well…the other thing.

I was feeling highly content with how this was going now. Now that whoever was standing behind me was away from any possible erogenous zones. But then those big hands moved lower down my back, fingers almost dancing down my spine as palms rubbed into flesh hard. It felt so intimate, as if from a lover. And when the hands came to rest on my lower back, dipping down dangerously underneath the blanket covering me, I had to hold my breath. He needed to move from that spot.

I thought I was lucky when he did in fact move up again. But, those hands went out to my sides, slowly working up to my rib cage. And I was reminded that I was completely topless. And if he wanted, he had only to reach out and he would be touching the swells of my breasts. My nipples hardened against my will, pressing into the smooth soft leather underneath. I had to will away the feelings stirring deep inside me. this was a betrayal and I wanted to scream out for this faceless man to stop.

But he bypassed the sides of my breasts and went to my arms. He lightly massaged me all down them. Before he reached my hands, he stopped and started the ascension back to my shoulders. I briefly wondered why he stopped. After all the stroking going on last night, a hand massage was the most welcome thing yet.

I felt at ease again, thinking the massage was drawing to a close. Those hands moved down my back again, touching the skin softly, almost soothing it after the intense rub down. Lower and lower the hands traveled. They dipped down below the blanket again and I felt it slipping from my backside. The man made no move to keep it in place.

"Um..er..no..that…uh..needs to…er..stay."

I tried to get my point across but the man never hesitated as his hands found purchase with my cheeks. His thumbs stretched out, rubbing firmly, slightly separating my cheeks each time they moved back towards his palm. And it felt…too good. This time I couldn't bite away the moan. It came out. And there was no way Edward could mistake it for something innocent. It was laced with sex. He continued to move down, thumbs stretching out too low. He was too close to…somewhere he shouldn't be. And I couldn't believe his audacity. I was right next to my boyfriend, only separated by a fucking curtain. What the hell was this guy thinking?

"No! You..ung…need to stop!"

I felt the unnamed masseuse shift towards me, bending down to my ear. I held my breath, afraid of what he would say and how I would react.

"Sh. I think it's time to do the front." My heart sped up as I realized why I found the lilting voice so soothing.

"EDWARD!!!"

He merely snickered at my reaction. How could I be that dense? That there was absolutely no fucking reason to have a curtain between the two people having a couple's massage. That I didn't even realize his lack of noises should've implied something was going on. That a professional would _never_ be that inappropriate. That of course Edward would plan something like this, thus his smirks at my hesitation.

"Now, now. Please don't spoil all the effort I put into calming you down. Roll over."

I followed his instruction, leaving myself exposed completely to him. I heard a gasp before I saw him. But when I finally did look at Edward, all feelings of my arousal returned. He was standing next to me, completely naked, erection standing out hard and proud. And any feelings of animosity towards him disappeared.

"Edward, I think there's room for two up here."

"Sorry, but I have a massage to finish." He smirked then brought his hands down to my breasts.

The oil made my chest slick, his hands gliding effortlessly across my skin. It was amazing. I wondered what it would feel like to have my breasts pressed up against his chest this oiled up. His fingers plucked at my nipples, making them harden even more than I thought possible.

Now that I knew that the man behind the massage was Edward, I felt it a must to moan my pleasure. And so I did, often and frequently. The sounds spurred him to move faster, something I was extremely grateful for.

Down my torso his hands traveled til he reached my hip bones, rubbing small circles as he stared into my eyes. There was lust there, but also love. I burned under his intense eyes. And I couldn't help but gush as his hands moved down lower until he was lightly tracing my lips, slipping a finger in between to tease my entrance.

I didn't even need to ask, as he knew exactly what I wanted. The oil mixed with my wetness, making his fingers slide in with ease. One, two, three fingers began to pump into me, an attempt to fill me up as much as his cock. And the thumb I had been previously cursing was now welcome on my sensitive clit. All of the pent up sexual tension was released in a sudden rush, bringing my orgasm out so quickly I hardly had time to prepare for it.

My back arched off the table, hips bucking wildly up, forcing Edward's fingers to go deeper inside of me. I was making loud noises, what exactly I wasn't sure, but was grateful enough that we were alone. Edward had great foresight, making sure we were alone so I wouldn't be embarrassed by my rather loud proclamations of love.

I hardly had time to rest my over worked heart before Edward was extending his hand down to me.

"Get up."

The look in his eyes only excited me more as I tried not to squeal in anticipation. I've seen that look before. Last time had been right before we had tried the Pair of Tongs. Which meant he had something really spectacular in store.

I grabbed a hold of his hand and he lifted me up with little help on my part. I was standing on my own two feet before I had a chance to register the movement.

Edward sat down on the edge of the massage table, legs shoulder width apart and feet planted firmly on the ground.

"Sit on my lap."

"Y-y-yes."

Those strong hands latched onto my waist, fingers digging into my skin as he lifted me up onto him. He sat me down on his cock, my pussy taking in his entire length at once. We both moaned loudly at the sensation. I planted my feet on either side of his hips and placed my hands on his shoulders so I'd have enough leverage to bounce myself on top of him.

"No."

I stopped moving as his hands grabbed onto my ankles and pulled my legs back behind him. He put my feet down in a manner that said to keep them planted there. It was uncomfortable and I wondered how I would be able to move on top of him with legs stretched out like that.

"Give me your hands."

I did. His warm hands encased mine as he slowly moved me back away from him so my entire upper half was hanging off the edge of the table.

"Edward?"

But I stopped questioning him as he began to move, thrusting and gyrating into me. he went in so deep, deeper than ever before. It felt so good, his cock thrusting into me at such a new and different angle. He hit my g spot perfectly and that burning sensation began to increase.

I braced myself, feet planted as firmly as possible to accept my weight and movement. And as I gripped Edward's hands tighter, I began to rock against him.

Edward let out the most delicious sound as we both moved in sync. His eyes were fixated at the spot where our two bodies joined, tongue licking his lips as he enjoyed the view. The pendant hanging from his neck swung like a pendulum, the topaz on the tag catching the light and almost hypnotizing me with its movement. With every swing I thought about my love for him, his love for me.

We were both too into the moment to really speak, content to just grunt and groan and moan. But as I got nearer and nearer to my release, I couldn't help but chant Edward's name. His cock was moving inside of me in a way I had never before experienced. My orgasm was building, and I knew it would be intense, more intense than any I had ever had. He was relentless as he continued to thrust into me, hitting my spot over and over again until I thought I'd go mad from the sheer pleasure I felt. Closer and closer I crept to the edge, teetering there, swaying back and forth between both sides.

"Edward, yes…more…faster…harder."

With a grunt, Edward's hips slightly left the safety of the table, driving into me so far I thought he would split me wide open.

And just like that, I exploded, literally, all over Edward. My juices squirted out of me without warning, coating Edward's lap. And he really liked it. Because with one final "fuck" leaving his mouth, Edward came deep inside me, his hot cum filling me up.

Ever so slowly, Edward lifted me up, allowing my blood adequate time to leave my head and re-circulate to the rest of my body.

"I'm so sorry about the mess." I managed to get out as I saw the remnants of my orgasm all over.

"Don't be. That was fucking sexy as hell."

A lazy smile took over his face and I could tell he was proud of his…accomplishment. We sat there, his cock still inside of me as it began to soften, my legs wrapped tightly around his waist now. Edward glanced at the wall, looking at the clock.

"We need to clean up and get going Bella, our time alone is almost up."

He helped ease me off of him and set me down on the ground. We found some towels and wiped up the sticky mess coating the leather. I hoped cum wouldn't ruin it. After all traces were removed, we balled up the towels and, after finding nowhere to deposit them, resigned to take them with us. We slipped into our robes and headed out, the smell of our sex still lingering in the air, along with the smiles on our faces.

When we reached our room, fatigue set in, making it seem like a chore to simply crawl into bed. But we made it there, our bodies seeking each other out, embracing and curling into each other. I felt the cold metal of that pendant against my chest and it soothed me even more.

"I love you Isabella Swan."

"I love you too Edward Cullen. Happy Valentine's Day."

His lips twitched up in a ghost of a smile, too tired to really pull it off. We fell asleep quickly, needing the restorative effects of sleep after that exhaustive massage.

I was jarred awake only an hour later by my phone ringing. My eyes were blurred by sleep, and I had to fumble for my phone. I almost knocked it over but managed to curl my fingers around it to keep it from falling to the ground. Last time that happened I fell off the bed in an attempt to retrieve it.

I looked at the caller ID and was surprised. It was 5 pm, shouldn't she be busy getting ready for a Valentine's date?

"Hello?"

I was assaulted by the loudest, most high pitched scream I had ever heard.

"Bella, he proposed! Can you believe it? He actually proposed!"

"Oh my god!"

* * *

**I wanted to point out that last chapter I left out what the peninsula was on purpose. I realize that many would not recognize what it was, I figured I'd be a bit naughty by leaving it out til now. But most of you googled it so, yeah.  
****For whatever reason, this chapter was a bitch to get out. Sigh. I hope you enjoyed it. The sexing is courtesy of Em (OIPEm), who sent me a lovely little linky depicting said posish. It's called suspended mastery should you be so inclined to check it out.  
****Review and Edward will show up at your doorstep, massage oil warmed and ready to go.  
*****strips off clothes***


	33. Chapter 32

**Twilight...i own it not  
****Thanks for all the reviews-you continue to amaze me with the love. Sorry that I've been bad at replying to your stuff. Forgive me. I'll try harder.  
****And I'm sorry this took a bit..i blame all the bitches over at twilighted that keep me occupied, namely the PP for being so pervishly delicious. Not to mention twilighter620 who indulges my copward fantasies. And arra584 who puts the goods in mah box. Mmm..Brasil is the new Vegas, baby!**

**Pimpage: I have three**

**Because I don't know if I have yet or not, and again because she makes a good copafeelward: twilighter620's Secret. Plus she's promising me some delish outtakes…idk if they'll be going up here or on twilighted. Bug her and find out. **

**OIPEm has her first fic out, Strength in Yielding. Think rose/em sub/dom and yeah…ungggg**

**And last but certainly not least, my gal LoveEqualsEDWARD's first fic, The Tangled Web. Oh good lord but do I love her bastard Carlisle. And being the masta beta and all…I have the inside scoop. Mmmm**

**Read them all and you will not be disappointed. **

**And lastly…am I that transparent that you all knew it was alice on the phone?**

Previously:

_I looked at the caller ID and was surprised. It was 5 pm, shouldn't she be busy getting ready for a Valentine's date?_

"_Hello?"_

_I was assaulted by the loudest, most high pitched scream I had ever heard._

"_Bella, he proposed! Can you believe it? He actually proposed!"_

"_Oh my god!" _

My eyes felt like they were going to pop out of my head. Not that I wasn't expecting a phone call like this in the near future, because I was. I just didn't know how _near_ it would be coming. But there was nothing but joy and excitement filling my heart as I heard the elation in Sue's voice, especially at her Alice like squeal. She was such a kind hearted person who, like Charlie, had gone through loss of love; albeit in very different forms.

"Bella, are you there?"

Damn, I got lost in my thoughts again.

"Yeah, sorry Sue…I just can't believe it!"

"Is that good or bad?" I could hear the worry coloring her tone.

"Not good, Sue, but great! I can't believe my father proposed! How? When? Isn't it only 3 there? What happened?"

Lying in the bed next to me, Edward's confused look turned into one of happiness. It eased my poor heart considerably, since last time we had witnessed a proposal I had gotten excited over, Edward had gone all quiet and emo on me. But he had heard me talk about Sue and Charlie enough to realize how much they deserved this second chance at love together.

"Well…Charlie took me out on a picnic!" I almost interjected about Fork's abysmal weather before Sue continued. "It was actually sunny Bella! It's like fate planned the day out for us." Leave it to a woman newly engaged to bring out talk of fate and destiny and all that. "Some of the guys on the rez told Charlie about this meadow, so we went there. He went all out, Bella. I've never seen him like that! He was really nervous and fidgety too. We were eating and he kept looking up to me with this odd expression. Then suddenly he popped up so he was on one knee, mumbled 'screw it' under his breath and proposed!"

Sue told me how Charlie explained having this whole speech planned out. But because he was so anxious, he forgot and decided "will you marry me" was good enough. She agreed that it was, and so did I. Charlie was never one for words, but that didn't mean he wasn't romantic.

We had been on the phone for close to half an hour when I heard Charlie in the background.

"Sue, is that Bella?" I could hear some nerves in his speech. "I wanted to be the one to tell her."

"I couldn't wait Charlie! And relax, Bella is excited too! Aren't you, Bella?"

I yelled a "sure am" hoping Charlie could hear me and rest assured that I wouldn't stand in the way of their marriage. If Renee could move on, so could Charlie.

We eventually got off the phone, Sue saying she wanted to "celebrate" the good news. I shuddered violently and told her to never speak to me of such things again. She may have gotten away with asking me about how well endowed Edward was, but _that _topic was strictly off limits.

Once my phone was safely on the side table, I felt Edward's arms sweep me up and gather me close to his chest. He hugged me tightly while placing warm kisses to the top of me head. He pulled back just a little bit so as to be able to look at me.

"So? When's the big day?" the smile was so big, so genuine, that I knew he was just as happy for those two as I was.

"June 10th. They wanted to do it after I would be done with finals and everything."

"Wow…that's not too far away."

"Well Sue said they'd waited long enough for each other, why waste any more time?"

"That's sweet." Edward leaned in to place a chaste kiss on my lips.

It was nice to see Edward reacting so positively to the engagement. I don't know what changed, what the difference was between the two incidents. But for whatever reason, news of Charlie and Sue made Edward really, truly happy.

What could've changed?

And then my mind traveled back to just hours before…during our "couples" massage. That Lauren girl had called us Mr. and Mrs. Cullen. And Edward had not corrected her. _And_ Edward himself had called me Mrs. Cullen during the actual massage, before I knew it was him. I didn't really have a chance to think about it then; the realization that Edward had called me that. I was too busy having the orgasm of a lifetime. But now..

Could all this be related?

My mind told me I was far too young to think about marriage. But my heart told me I wanted nothing less. It didn't have to be anytime soon. Just a promise from Edward, a promise that I would be his and he mine for the rest of our lives, would be enough. To know that someday Charlie would walk me down the aisle and give me away to the most wonderful man in existence was enough for me.

But then, what about med school?

I would be willing to travel with him, obviously. But did Edward know that? I had never said the words before. I still didn't dare speak them out loud. There was no way of knowing how Edward would react. But still I had to somehow let him know my feelings, even if I didn't specifically come out and just state it. _I would follow you anywhere._

"What are you thinking about?" Edward's eyes were glowing from the dim lighting in the room.

"Just about how happy I am being with you."

"Yes, being with you makes me very happy."

Edward pressed into me harder, allowing me the feel of his growing erection. I pushed away to emphasize my point. Now was as good a time as any to try and convey my feelings.

"Seriously, Edward. It wouldn't matter where we were as long as I was with you, I'd be happy. It could be my tiny dorm, your apartment, a 5 star hotel, even…hundreds of miles from our friends and family. _Anywhere_ Edward, as long as I'm with you."

I watched as Edward's eyes went from questioning, to comprehending, to burning. His eyes were alight with what I hoped was a fire of understanding and agreement. But I could sense a hint of apprehension there. As if he didn't quite…believe…what I had said.

"Do you mean that? Anywhere?" I could now see hope as clear as day in the green sea of his eyes.

"Yes Edward. I'd go anywhere with you as long as it meant us being together."

Edward's face broke out in the most beautiful smile I had ever seen. And my heart lurched at the sight. He got it. He understood. And he was…_happy._ Or maybe happy wasn't the right word. He was utterly…joyful, elated, blissful. All those words could describe what I saw in his gorgeous green eyes.

"Good. Because, Bella?" His face was nuzzled against mine, his cool breath blowing out across my ear. "All I want is for us to be together like this." His hand was stroking my back softly, lulling me to sleep. "No matter the time or the place. Just you and me love." He kissed me softly on my cheek as his hands continued to ease me into a very relaxed state. And as I settled in for another nap, I thought I heard him whisper "forever." I could feel myself smile even as I drifted off.

--

The rest of our weekend was spent in varying degrees of undress. Thank god Edward wanted to stay in and really spend time together. We were in our own little bubble, completely separate from the rest of the world. The "Do Not Disturb" sign was permanently attached to the knob outside our door. It didn't matter if housekeeping came by or not…in fact it was better. This way the risk of anyone walking in to find us in compromising positions was less than likely.

We took time to work every surface of our suite, paying particular attention to the chaise longue, the shower, and lastly the tub. It seemed we only stopped to eat and sleep. And by the time Sunday afternoon rolled around, I was more than a little sore.

We opted for a late checkout time, just so we could get as much rest as possible. Both of us were dreading going back to…reality. I didn't mind school so much. It was Edward going back to his studies that had me on pins and needles. He'd be taking the MCATs soon. Who knew how often I'd see him then?

The drive back to Edward's apartment was quiet, but nice. We were both content to simply sit back and savor the last bits of our weekend getaway. Every so often I'd turn and look at my God of a boyfriend. His face in profile just accentuated the strong line of his jaw. It was nice to see that it wasn't clenched in frustration or over concentration. His face would lift from time to time into the smallest of smiles, the hint of excitement in his eyes.

"What are you thinking about Edward?" Usually it was Edward asking me that question; always getting lost in my thoughts.

"Hm?" He turned to look at me briefly before realizing what I had asked. "Oh I was just wondering about what our new place will look like."

"Huh?" What new place.

"Well, when we find a place to live I have to imagine Esme will want to help decorate. But if you want total control that's fine too. I'll just tell Esme; she won't mind at all."

My brain just about shut down. Did he just say "a place to live," as in a place to live together?

"Bella?" Edward's eyes looked concerning as he took in my expression. "Are you alright? We don't have to let Esme take over. I just figured we could use the help. Where ever I end up going to school, we'll need to move quickly. She could really help us get situated. But if you want to do it all, then that's not a problem either."

At this point my heart was beating wildly in my chest. I could feel myself close to panting at what Edward was talking about. He was discussing our future, discussing us living together like I had hoped. And even though we practically lived together already, the fact that Edward was imagining our future together was maddeningly sexy. The thought had me getting…hot. It couldn't have been a bigger turn on if he had purposely seduced me. I was so crazy in love with this man.

I wanted Edward right now.

I had to have him.

"Edward. I need you to pull over."

We were getting close to his apartment, but I couldn't wait. He turned to look at me, questioning my statement.

"Bella, if you gotta go to the bathroom, we're almost home."

"No, Edward, pull over now please."

"Uh…ok. Let me find somewhere good."

He continued driving for a few blocks before finding an empty park. It was February after all, and winter in Chicago. Most children were being kept inside where it was safe and warm. Edward began pulling into a parking spot before I stopped him.

"No, park over there." I didn't even bother being polite. I needed him to move further away from the street, where people could possibly see us.

"Is…this…ok?" Edward pulled into the furthest spot and put the car in park. He turned off the car and reached out to his car door handle as if to get out.

"Stop Edward."

"Bella…what's going on?" He was starting to look a little freaked out.

I couldn't have that.

Hoisting myself over the E brake and the gear shifter, I managed to make my way onto Edward's lap, effectively straddling his legs.

"Bella?" his voice came out as a squeak.

"Sh, Edward. I want you. Now."

"Now?" He sounded so nervous, as if the thought of sex in his car was a foreign idea.

"Yes, now." I ground myself into his hardening erection. I moaned out at the delicious feel of him pressed in between my legs.

"God Bella, you're gonna kill me."

But now was not the time to talk. While both of Edward's heads were distracted by my grinding effect, I pressed myself even closer to his body; crashing my lips to his. His lips began to move slowly, softly even, but I was too aroused to make this sweet. I wanted to fuck him in his precious Volvo. I wanted to mark him as mine in his sleek, powerful car.

The backseat was too little (though I would _never_ admit that to Edward). _Looks like front seat sexin' it is._

I didn't bother taking the time to wait for Edward, to "ask" his permission to put my tongue in his mouth. The tip of my tongue pried his lips open forcefully and began twisting and massaging his. I heard Edward moan out in pleasure and it only caused me to kiss him harder.

My hands moved down to his pants, lifting myself up to undo the button and zipper on his fly. When I had accomplished that, I was pleasantly surprised to discover Edward going commando. I pulled his now thick cock out of his pants, all too eager to feel every inch of him inside of me.

I gripped onto his shaft hard and began slowly stroking him, collecting the beaded pre cum from his swollen head to aid me. With my other hand, I guided Edward's hands to the waistband of my sweatpants. He tugged them down, attempting to guide them past my knees. I had to try and stand in order to kick them off.

The only thing separating Edward and me was the tiny scrap of fabric that made a poor excuse for underwear. Fucking Alice and her packing. Edward's long fingers began toying with the thong that was now completely drenched in my wetness.

"Bella…what brought this on?" He was breathing hard as I continued stroking him; his fingers softly tracing my lips through my panties.

"Shut up Edward. No more talking." I licked and nipped his neck, tracing around his Adam's apple before biting it lightly to emphasize my point.

Edward let out a low guttural noise, an almost purr; eyes rolling back into his head before closing his lids shut.

I reached to the side and released the reclining lever on Edward's seat. We went flying back, our chests crashing together. His cock was now pressed even closer to my center, pushing his fingers closer as well. He grabbed on to my wrists, pulling me away from my current job.

"Don't you think your hands will get in the way of…whatever it is you have in mind?"

"Mmhm, you're probably right."

"What…exactly…do you have…in mind, Bella?"

Oh, he knew what I had in mind. How could he not with his cock standing naked in between us and his hands all over my vagina?

"Edward. I'm going to fuck you in your car. I want you to _smell_ me every time you drive the Volvo, so that you _always _think of how amazing I feel wrapped around your cock."

The dirty talking had never been a part of my original plan. But at my words, Edward stiffened between us. I looked up to see lust filled eyes, hooded with desire. And I felt his fingers grab on to the fabric separating us, deftly pushing it aside.

"Yeah, Bella…do that. Oh fuck I want you to do that to me." He lifted me up and sat me on top of his erection, sheathing himself entirely in one movement.

It felt so good. Even after spending the entire weekend joined together like this, it still felt new and fresh. I still gasped at the feel of him entering me. I wondered if I'd ever get _used_ to the sensation of sex with Edward, then realized I would not. It wasn't just because I didn't want to. I could not because it was Edward. Not only did I love this man, but he was phenomenal in bed…or in the tub…or on a massage table…and at the moment, in his car.

My hands were tangling in Edward's hair as he kept his hands on my hips. Every time he thrust into me my fingers clenched harder into his hair, nails now digging into his scalp. His groan vibrated against my chest, making my nipples tighten hard against the cotton of my bra.

I wish I would've taken the time to get us both topless…but it probably was better this way. If someone came a knockin while the car was a rockin, at least my breasts would be covered.

The buildup was intense, the position we were in on his seat only allowing so much speed in our movements. My body needed the release and I fought to go faster, bounce harder on him. my legs were thrashing around us, trying to find good footing to help me. I had one knee on the seat next to Edward's leg and the other foot on the dashboard. I shifted on top of Edward, my other foot coming in contact with the horn of his car. The loud blare made me jump and almost hit my head on the roof of his car.

"Bella, shit…move your foot. Ung…we don't…fuck..want anyone…oh God…finding us…like this."

I moved my foot, cutting off the noise. I had to shift again to get comfortable. The sudden change brought Edward into me deeper. Our moans were simultaneous.

"Christ Bella…I'm so fucking close…I'm gonna…gonna…"

Edward's thrusts were erratic and faster now. And before I knew it, fireworks went off behind closed eyes. He followed soon after me, groaning out my name as he came inside of me. In my post orgasm haze, I noticed how fogged up the windows had become. And, stupidly, had to fight the urge to pull a Kate Winslet and drag my hand across the window a la _Titanic._

"Bella, that was so good. Fuck. Can we just go back to The Peninsula and stay there?"

"Mm, fine by me."

I lifted myself off of Edward and did an awkward roll over to my seat. My underwear was still shoved to the side, sweatpants down by Edward's feet. I could feel Edward's remnants mixed with my own juices leak out of me and onto his leather.

"Shit!" My ass raised off the seat as I looked for something to wipe up the mess.

"Don't worry about it." His smirk was in place. "Like you said. I want to _smell_ you every time I get in this car. That way I can enjoy the bouquet when I can't taste the wine."

After a quick redress and slight clean up (I didn't want to sit in my own mess), we made it back to Edward's apartment complex. We were just stepping out of the car when Emmett and Rosalie walked by us on their way out.

"Dude, what the hell happened to you two?"

I turned to Edward, wondering what Emmett meant. Edward's hair was in complete chaos, twisted and matted all over the place…sex hair. I wondered if I looked just as messy.

Rose turned to look at me, her eyes meeting mine. I felt the familiar heat of a blush enter my cheeks as she scrutinized my appearance.

"Dude…did you guys get it on in the _Volvo_?" Edward's only response was a smile. "How? That thing is fucking little as hell!"

Edward chuckled for a while before responding.

"Emmett, Bella's had the pleasure of becoming more intimately acquainted with…the _Volvo_. And I'm sure she'd agree there's nothing _little _about it."

_I cannot believe he said that…in front of me. And that I haven't died of embarrassment yet. That jackass…I'm gonna call his dick _the Volvo_ from now on…wait…he might like that._

"I'm never riding in that fucking pussy car again." Rosalie shook her head as she led Emmett, who was laughing so hard he was grabbing his sides, to his Hummer.

Edward turned to me with a wink and a nudge.

"Yeah, it is a real _pussy_ car, huh?"

--

"Edward!" This was the best news since last Friday when Edward surprised me for Valentine's Day.

I came running into Edward's room to find him…what else?...studying. His hunched shoulders and blood shot eyes caused a twinge of pain to shoot through me.

_He's almost there. He'll take the MCATs, get his results, and we can go wherever he chooses. It will all work out._

"Hey babe, what's up?" Two large palms pressed into his eyes as if trying to work out the strain they were feeling.

"Remember that poem I wrote for you?"

"How could I forget?" A genuine smile flittered onto his face.

He motioned towards the frame on his desk. Behind the glass lay my poem to Edward. He had cut it out of the composition notebook and had it matted and framed. I remember how flustered I was when he first told me his plan and how much darker I blushed when he asked me to autograph it, saying he wanted to preserve it to show off when I became a famous writer. I put my foot down on that.

"Well, I had an assignment for class. We had to submit an original piece of work, something meaningful to us. I figured, why not use that since it's the most powerful thing I've ever written?" I stopped and blushed at the revelation.

"And?"

"My professor _loved _it! she approached me after lecture and just gushed about it."

Edward stood up and enveloped me in a massive hug, lifting me slightly off the floor. He placed a sweet kiss on the top of my head.

"Bella, that's _great_!"

"But that's not all, it gets better."

"I can't imagine how that's possible." He was smiling so hugely I could see all of his perfectly straight, white teeth.

"Well…" I paused for dramatic effect. "She told the head of the department who insisted he meet with me."

I closed my eyes as I thought back to that conversation.

"_Isabella Swan." Dr. Peterson stood up from behind his desk and extended his hand to shake mine._

"_Please call me Bella." I clasped hands with him, hoping for a firm, reassuring shake. _

"_Bella," he nodded, "have a seat." _

_I nervously tried smoothing out the nonexistent wrinkles in my jeans. I wish I had worn something nicer. Why had I denied Alice's request to make me over this morning?_

"_Professor Blair showed me your writing."_

_Oh my god. Is he mad at me or something? Should I not have written that? Shit. Shit. Shit. _

"_I'm quite impressed Bella. You show much promise for such a young person."_

_I let out a very audible sigh of relief. Which Dr. Peterson unfortunately heard. He chuckled a bit before continuing._

"_I just wanted to let you know you have a solid place here. We need your talent Miss Swan. And I am prepared to secure your future in this department with our Presidential Scholarship."_

_I gaped at him before realizing how stupid I looked._

"_Dr. Peterson…thank you…so much…I don't know what else to say."_

"_Just that you'll continue your outstanding work."_

"_Of course."_

"_Dr. Peterson stood up to show me the door. He shook my hand once more before I stepped outside of his office._

"_I look forward to getting to know you and your work even more in the future, Miss Swan."_

"The Presidential Scholarship, Edward! Isn't that amazing?!"

I looked at Edward's face. His eyes were downcast, lips tight and drawn down in a frown.

"Edward?"

He looked up at me, and upon realizing my quizzical stare, hurriedly changed his expression into one of carefully calculated exuberance. But it didn't reach his eyes which seemed…strained again…and pained.

"Bella, that is _excellent_ news." He pulled me in tighter and buried his face into my neck. I swear I felt him quake just slightly as we stood there together in his room.

I couldn't quite put my finger on the source of Edward's bizarre reaction. If this was "excellent" news, why did I feel so worried?

**Well? Hit or miss? Were you shocked it was Sue, not Alice? Hehe**

**Thank Renee, arra584 for the car sexing…I wasn't planning on having any…lovin in this chapter but she inspired me. and even discovered a kama sutra car guide, which is really scary actually. Lmao. Plus she helped me with some issues that I had. Gracias amiga.**

**also, i feel the need to share that i am not conceited. i do not think my poem deserves all this great recognition that bella is getting. i just..didn't have time to find something or write sometihng else. for serious. it was just for convenience.**

**And lastly, but certainly not least…ly… **

**My PP gals and I have started a blog so lovingly put together by the ever smutterific ninapolitan. www(dot)pervpackssmutshack(dot)com. If you likey the smut…you'll likey and licky the smut shack.**


	34. Chapter 33

**a/n: obv I am not SM. Any similarities are credited to the series. No copyright infringement intended. You know I can't write like she can. lol**

**This chapter is dedicated to all of you. All the reviews that I may have not responded to for one reason or the other (but swear to god I read them all) and the pms from ppl concerned at whether I'd finish this story or not. Trust, I will finish. PT is my baby. I love it and pet it frequently. God that sounds bad. But esp this chapter is for my homegirl mskathy who I am addicted to. I have to know what she thinks, 'what do you think kath?' you should check out her stories. There is IMO a rather hilarious tribute to her delish story The Trip Home in this chapter. Anyone who reads it will hopefully appreciate it. and if you don't read it, do so now so you can too. Then read her other stuff.**

**I really am bad. I know it. and I apologize. In my defense (and it's pretty weak, I'll admit it), mini got sick, I got sick, it was hubs bday…I was also planning on entering some oneshot comps like the SMC and the Vday one…which did not happen obviously. I am just fail at ff life recently. This chapter was a mother fucker to get out. You'll see why. Rollercoaster…*sigh"**

* * *

**BPOV**

The weeks leading up to the MCATs passed in a hazy blur. Edward was practically nonexistent in anyone's lives. And the few times he did spend time with us…it's like he wasn't really there anyway. It wasn't just the stress of the test. I think he was stressing about me, about our relationship.

I blamed it all on my stupid mouth. I had been so excited, so _overwhelmed_, at having the head of the literary department enjoy my writing that I did not once pause to consider the ramifications of my words.

He thought that I wanted…that I was choosing to stay at NU over leaving with him.

Ridiculous.

Every time I broached the subject, Edward brushed me off. I tried to be sneaky but I suspected Edward knew where I was going with my conversations. Because he would change subjects, or at the very least change the focus of the discussion.

"You know, I've been looking at different schools and their writing programs. Maryland seems to have a really…"

"Don't be so silly Bella!" Edward told e with forced enthusiasm. "NU wants you and you came out here for that reason. Why would you even think about going somewhere else?" I could hear the bitterness he tried so hard to mask.

After awhile, I decided to just let it go. I would put in my transfer papers the second it became necessary. Edward couldn't possibly think he could keep me from going with him.

As Edward continued to withdraw within himself, I grew closer to the other Cullens and their significant others. Thank God for them, because without that comedic relief I would not be in a good state of mind.

Emmett was a constant source of relief from my worries. His and Rosalie's apartment became the center for hangouts so Edward could have peace and quiet at his place.

"Ok, so this is something…um…when you lie you have this." Emmett was staring at Rose and me expectantly.

"Guilty conscious?" I tried.

"No."

"Remorse?" Rose tried.

"Ugh, no! Are you guys retarded? God! It's for bad people…"

We sat and stared at him. How he convinced us to be on his team for Catch Phrase I'll never know. They boy could not describe words to save his life. It wasn't that he we was stupid…Emmett just thought on a whole different wave length than the rest of us.

"Jail?" Rose tried again.

"Hurry up it's about to go off! C'mon! Bad people…lie…what the fuck guys? Hurry!"

The buzzer went off as Emmett got red in the face from yelling at us.

"You guys suck!" Emmett threw the hand held game down in a fury.

Jasper picked it up to start his turn, but paused to look at the word.

"Emmett, I think you're the one that sucks. Bella, Rose…if you commit a crime, you need this as an excuse to prove you are innocent."

"Alibi?" We chanted in unison.

Alice and Jasper broke into fits of laughter while Emmett sulked like an overgrown child.

"Whatever, you guys are just too beneath my level of intelligence to get it."

If we weren't playing games we were watching movies. Emmett declared himself ultimate veto power since it was his place.

"You mean _our_ place."

"Of course Rosie, baby."

And apparently Jasper was still enjoying the terms of his and Emmett's bet.

"Alice, sweetheart, would you like something to drink?" Jasper called out from behind the fridge."

"No thank you.'

"Hey Jazz, grab me a beer?" Emmett called out from next to me on the couch.

Jasper returned with one bottle in his hand.

"Thanks man." Emmett's hand shot out to grab the beer from Jasper.

"Excuse me, just what the hell do you think you're doing? This is for me." Jasper brought the bottle closer to his chest, just out of reach of Emmett's grasp.

"Dude, I asked you when you were up."

"You did? Huh, I didn't hear you."

"I said your name and everything. You didn't hear me yell 'Jazz'?"

"You know, I think I did hear you say that…But that's not my name."

Rose and Alice were humming the Ting Tings in the background as Emmett stared on in utter disbelief.

"Jazz…Jasper…that is your name."

"Sure isn't." Jasper smirked at Emmett, clearly loving the taunting.

"Ya know what, King Asshat,"

"_That's not my name_

_That's not my name_

_That's not my name"_

Alice and Rose were now singing out loud, swaying back and forth.

"Tsk, tsk, Emmett."

"How much longer do I need to call you King Tong for?"

"The rest of the year my friend." Jasper's smile was jubilant.

"I fucking _hate_ the Tongs."

We all laughed ourselves silly. Still though, a piece of me was saddened that Edward was not here to enjoy it. He was missing so much it seemed like. And I felt like a fifth wheel too many times to count. Hopefully once the MCATs were over things could go back to normal.

--

"Tomorrow's the big day." I glanced over at Edward in bed. He looked eerily calm.

"Yup." Edward responded in a clipped tone.

"You'll do great."

"Mmph."

"Edward, I know it's hard not to…but don't stress too much. You know all that stuff."

"I guess."

His body was tense even though he tried to give off a relaxed expression. I could see the strain he carried in his shoulders.

"How about I help ease some of that tension?" I scooted even closer to his body, placing my hand on his crotch. I rubbed my palm up and down and began to feel him harden.

"And how will you do that?" A hint of my favorite crooked smile graced his perfectly crafted face.

My hand moved up to his pajama bottoms, slowly tugging down. Edward lifted his ass off the bed so I could get them out of the way. He had no underwear underneath, letting his cock spring up, just begging for attention.

"Let me show you." I winked at him then lowered myself down his body to take the pre cum into my mouth to take away the pre exam jitters.

--

We threw a huge party for Edward after he finished with the MCATs. All of us hid in the living room of his and Jasper's apartment, waiting for him to come home. The moment the front door opened, we all jumped out and shouted at him. I threw myself at his shocked body, his arms just barely coming around to catch me in time before I hit the ground. He placed a searing kiss on my lips before placing my feet on the ground.

"Someone get me a drink!" Edward cried out happily.

"Aw, little Eddie's gettin shitfaced tonight!"

We _all_ got shitfaced…drinking much more than was probably necessary. Edward's inhibitions were completely nonexistent within hours. He'd lean in to whisper in my ear, but talk loud enough for everyone to hear.

"Bella, your mouth is _amazing! _If I score well, I'm crediting your fucktastical blow job last night."

I blushed deeply when I realized that the entire room had heard that. Emmett started choking on his drink while Jasper slurred out "fucktastical isn't even a word Dr. Dumbass."

Edward's whispered declarations got more explicit with every drink.

"I'm so horny Bella. I wanna split your legs wide open and let my tongue lick up and down your pussy. Mmm, suck all that sweet cream in my mouth."

I was beet red…but also completely soaking through my underwear the dirtier his words god.

"I bet you can't wait for me to fuck you Bella. You want my cock, don't you? Tell me Bella. Tell me you want my cock in your pussy."

"Shh!" I felt like Edward was setting the stage for some freaky live action porno since everyone was still over. "I do, but not now. Everyone is here and can hear every word you are saying."

"That's it." Edward stood up on shaking legs. "Everyone out. Now! I have a very sexy girlfriend to fuck."

The alcohol made me giggle even though my brain told me I should feel embarrassed. Our friends had barely closed the door behind them before Edward's hands were all over me.

I think we may have discovered a few new positions to add to Edward's trusty sex bible.

--

Edward's mood had done a complete 180 degrees after the exam. We were back to normal, back to how we were during last term. I couldn't be happier.

As Edward's mood improved, so did the weather. Each day was getting warmer, the sun coming out from behind clouds to melt away the snow. More of our time was spent outside relaxing between my classes.

"Bella, it's spring. Do you know what that means?"

I thought for a few seconds, not being able to follow Edward's train of thought.

"Uh…April showers bring May flowers?"

"No, silly girl. It means baseball season. Which also means you owe me a date to a Cubs game!"

So, one sunny Saturday we made our way towards the ever famous Wrigley Field. It was warm, only a slight hint of chill in the breeze, perfect baseball weather as Edward had told me. We rode the L to the Addison exit and started walking towards the unmistakable stadium. Edward and I were hand in hand as we enjoyed each other's company, Edward explaining the Cubs unfortunate "curse." We were a little too into our conversation, not realizing our steps were leading us right in the path of three people walking in the opposite direction.

"Oomph!" Edward let out a grunt as he ran into a man that was about the same size as Emmett.

"Watch where you're going, idiot!" A tall blonde girl screeched out at us.

"We're so sorry, we didn't see you." I tried to apologize quickly. The blonde looked like she could be as mean as Rosalie.

"It's ok, we know that." The third person in the group, a tiny Alice sized girl, spoke to me.

The tall blonde let out an impatient huff.

"Now now ladies, c'mon, let's be on our way." The large man put an arm around each of the girls, giving them a quick kiss on the cheek.

They stepped around us and continued to walk in the direction they were heading. Both girls were leaning into the one man and I couldn't help but gawk at them for a bit too long. I'm pretty sure I even saw the guy cop a feel on both of the girls.

"Edward…you don't think…that all three of them are…ya know…together?"

"Huh?" Edward was especially imperceptive today, brain solely focused on baseball.

"Nevermind."

We made it inside the stadium, finding our seats in the "field box," whatever that means. Edward made it a point to tell me that we had amazing seats in the infield. I just knew we were really close. As we sat down I took in my surroundings: there were vendors carrying hotdogs, peanuts and drinks, hundreds of seats were being filled by very devout fans, and the team was warming up. It was all pretty…cool. I could see why Edward got so excited about coming to one of the games.

I eventually turned my head to the left and noticed a very handsome man sitting next to me. He had blonde wavy hair and Martini olive eyes. He leaned to his left to whisper in the ear of a beautiful brunette, taking her hand in his. All of a sudden I saw another man, whose good looks rivaled that of Edward's, lean forward just a bit. He placed a hand on the woman's leg, rather far up her thigh. She giggled like a school girl as they all conversed.

Again, I found myself gawking until Edward nudged me to ask if I'd like a hot dog. I nodded as he waved over a vendor to purchase two for us.

"Can we get three of those?" The blonde called out to the man with the hot dogs.

"We all know how you love your wieners, J." The woman and other man began chuckling quietly as the blonde nodded a little too vigorously.

What the fuck? I kept trying to elbow Edward so he'd take a look at what was going on just mere seats away from him. First those three outside the stadium…now these three inside? Oh my god it must be something in the water over here…

Besides the bizarre trios I seemed to keep encountering, the day was completely great. I huddled into Edward's side whenever a cooler than comfortable breeze blew by. I even attempted to catch a foul ball that had come our way.

Edward produced a camera, ever prepared to capture as many precious moments as he could.

"Excuse me, sir?" Edward leaned forward to speak to the blonde man sitting next to me.

"Hmm?" The blonde turned to Edward, doing a double take as he took in the bronze hair and green eyes next to me.

"Would you mind taking a picture of my girlfriend and me?" Edward held the camera out to the blondie next to us.

"No problem." He winked at Edward, which caused a slightly confused expression on my boyfriend's face.

Edward pulled me onto his lap, wrapping his arms around meq tightly and placing his cheek against mine. Blondie counted to three before snapping the picture.

"You two make such a beautiful couple," he told us while handing Edward back the camera. "You look like you are very happy together." He flashed a pretty swoon worthy smile in our direction before turning back to the other two he was with.

"I'd say I'm more than happy with you." I smiled as I kissed Edward on the cheek.

Yes, things were going great, almost erasing all the negative parts from the previous months.

Then, before I knew it, it was late April, and with it the eminent MCAT results. I admit I was getting anxious too. I wanted to know how Edward did. I wanted to know which schools would accept him. I wanted to know if I would be packing up and moving to a new school soon.

Every day when I was done with class I'd come home eager to hear any news from Edward. Each time I looked up at him expectantly, Edward simply shook his head. I was pretty sure he had to have heard by now…right?

Finally, one day after a particularly annoying set of classes, I walked in to find Edward staring down at a piece of paper in his hands. _His scores!!!_

"Edward?"

He peered up at me over the top of the page. I thought I saw an uneasy smile peeking out at me, his eyes holding just a spark of excitement.

"My results." He said in a shaky voice as he held out the paper for me.

I looked over the page, trying to make sense of the jumble before my eyes. I had no idea what it meant. But the numbers seemed high. And that was good…right?

"Does this mean you did well?" I held my breath as I waited for his response.

"Extremely." Edward dazzled me with my favorite smile.

I let out a very embarrassing squeal as I plopped down on his lap, straddling him as I hugged and kissed every inch of his face.

"I knew it! I knew it! Of course you did excellent! Let's call the others and celebrate!"

"No." Edward's immediate response caused me to pause. _No? _"I just…would like for it to be the two of us. Just you and me. We can celebrate with them later."

Well that didn't sound bad. On the contrary it sounded really, really great. Just the two of us…_celebrating_…I didn't mind leaving the rest in the dark for another day or so.

I was expecting a celebration along the same lines as Edward taking the test finally or Edward graduating, only…better. But tonight it seemed Edward didn't have sex on the brain. We stayed in for dinner, cuddled as we watched a movie, listened to music while playing our lyrics game, and talked…and kissed…and cuddled some more in bed before deciding to go to sleep.

"I love you so much. Do you know that?" Edward turned to face me as we lay together.

"Of course Edward. I love you too."

"Good." He kissed me hard. But pulled away before it got too heated. "Good night sleeping beauty."

--

I had thought waiting for the test results had been hell. I was wrong. Waiting for acceptance/rejection letters was hell. I was suffering. Edward was torturing himself. April rolled into May. But instead of bringing flowers, May brought a short tempered, pacing, anxious Edward.

I definitely would've preferred the flowers.

Edward began distancing himself again. And I began coming home in the hopes of finding an acceptance letter in the mail. Nothing was coming and I was getting even more worried than before. Because if Edward had done so well on his exam, shouldn't the acceptance letters come pouring in?

The weirdest part was how Edward reacted to his lack of letters. He didn't seem to be nervous at not receiving any. He was however, acting nervously around me. I could only assume it was over what he would do if he was accepted to Johns Hopkins. I don't know how many more times it would take to convince him. I was going with him, whether he wanted me to or not.

"Edward, have you heard anything?"

"No not yet." He wouldn't look at me. It was all so weird. And frustrating. Completely, one hundred percent frustrating.

"Well I wouldn't worry. I'm sure you'll hear from schools soon."

"Yeah, that's not really what worries me." Edward mumbled as he walked into his bedroom.

What was _that _supposed tomean?

--

Finals were coming up, along with Charlie and Sue's wedding. I got a call from them at least once a day. Sue had asked me to be her one and only bridesmaid and wanted to make sure I found a dress that I liked. She was keeping things simple for everyone, choosing varying shades of blue as her theme.

I wanted Edward to come dress shopping with me so he could give me his opinion. He wouldn't be coming with me to Forks for the wedding (somehow introducing Edward to Charlie at his wedding seemed like not such a good idea) but I still wanted him to see me all dressed up. When I invited him to come, however; he turned me down. He stated that was a "girly" thing to do and I should probably invite Alice (who was already planning on coming anyway) to go with me. If it were any other guy I would think nothing of it. But usually Edward wanted to come with me no matter where we were going or what we were doing. He had even told me earlier that he couldn't wait to see me in my bridesmaid dress…then peel it off me in the dressing room so we could fulfill one of his fantasies.

When I talked to Alice about it, she seemed to think I was making things out to be worse than they really were. It wasn't just that Edward had said no to me. It was also how he turned me down; his tone of voice, his expression, his body language. Almost as if it wasn't just because he thought he'd be bored dress shopping. Almost as if he didn't want to be there with me.

I tried to shake it off, but he continued to try and distance himself from me. As finals loomed closer and closer, Edward was all but pushing me out the door so I could study at the library. It didn't matter that I tried to insist I could get work done at his place; it was quiet enough for studying.

"But Bella, I might _distract_ you from your studies. You need to do well so you can keep your scholarship." Edward winked at me and tried for a suggestive tone. He still sounded off.

And unfortunately for me, finals meant I could not dwell on all the possible reasons Edward was behaving so oddly. All of my attention was focused on maintaining the GPA I needed for my scholarship. If Edward ended up going somewhere outside of the Chicago-land area for med school, my scholarship wouldn't transfer. However, I knew that keeping my grades up would keep the one I had on the chance Edward stayed at NU or help to secure a scholarship elsewhere.

One day I came home early from an exhausting day of studying. Jasper was at dinner with Alice so I knew not to expect him at the apartment. Edward wasn't in the living room so I made my way back to his room. It was quiet, an odd occurrence since there was usually music playing in the background, as I stepped inside to find Edward hunched over his desk. There were envelopes scattered everywhere along his desk. He was so wrapped up in whatever he was doing he did not hear me approach, and as I reached out to ruffle his hair, Edward jumped in shock.

"Bella, holy shit you scared me! What are you doing here?" I noticed Edward hurriedly trying to pile up all the envelopes together and shove them in a drawer.

"I was tired of studying so I decided to…Edward…what is all that?" I pointed at a very thick manila envelope.

"Um, some acceptance letters." He looked so defeated as he admitted he had been accepted to different schools.

"Oh! But that's great! Which schools have you heard from?"

"I dunno…just some…lesser known schools. It's no big deal."

"Yeah it is! If you're hearing from these, you should hear back from the more prestigious ones soon too!"

"I suppose so." And with one final sweep, the remaining letters found their place in the top drawer of Edward's desk.

--

Edward had still to hear from any schools that he wanted to attend, namely Johns Hopkins, as he drove me to the airport for Charlie's wedding. It was really starting to worry me since it was now the beginning of June and still no word. I was especially concerned for Edward's mental health as he stayed silent the entire drive to O'Hare. _The nerves must be finally getting to him. _

"Are you worried about school Edward?" I asked him as we pulled into a parking spot.

"Yeah, you could say that."

Instead of walking over to my door to open it like usual, Edward went straight back to the trunk to get my garment bag. I was only staying in Washington for 4 days. Charlie and Sue were taking off for a month long honeymoon to travel around different parts of Europe; something neither of them had ever had the chance to do. I had no reason to linger there. I had every reason to come back to Illinois as quickly as possible.

Edward carried my bag inside, leading the way towards the security checkpoint. As we got nearer, his steps slowed and carried him to a row of chairs set away from the ever growing line. I assumed he wanted a more private goodbye, I know I did. Edward sat down and motioned for me to sit in the seat next to him. As soon as my butt made contact, I threw my arms around Edward's neck. Even if I'd only be gone for 4 days, I'd still miss him like crazy. I leaned forward to give him a kiss but Edward pulled back slightly, halting my movements completely.

"Bella," Edward started before I could question him, "I got my acceptance letter to Johns Hopkins."

I screamed a little too loudly out of excitement. Some of the people getting in line were staring at me. The anxious feeling that had been twisting inside of me for the past few weeks had started to loosen. I knew he'd get accepted, it was just a matter of waiting to hear back. And speaking of waiting…

"How come you're just telling me now? Why didn't you tell me earlier! I've been just as nervous to hear from them as you!"

"I didn't want to distract you from finals."

Wait…what?

"You knew…back then?"

I knew I should only feel happiness at his accomplishment. But I was feeling more annoyed than anything. He had kept this piece of news from me…to help keep me focused? I was more distracted from _not _knowing!

"I'm sorry Bella. I just thought I was doing what was right for our situation."

_Our situation. _What did that mean?

"Well…I guess that's…understandable." I was at a loss for words.

"There's more." _More?! _"Carlisle's arranged for me to go out there early so I can get to know the different professors and volunteer some of my time at the hospital there before classes start."

"Well it's a good thing I'll only be gone for 4 days. I mean, I'll come back and we can get everything packed up and get all of my records transferred over and…"

"Bella, I'm leaving for Maryland tomorrow."

I just stared at him. I couldn't possibly have heard that correctly. There was no _way_ he would be leaving while I was at Charlie's wedding. He couldn't expect me to be able to get all my shit together by myself…I needed him to help me make the move out there with him. As I sat there and stared at Edward, he just looked back at me. I could not read any emotion in his face.

"Why? You can't wait a few more days so I can go with you?"

"Bella…"

"I mean, it'll be hard enough getting everything packed up by myself…"

"Bella…"

"And not to mention applying…"

"Bella…"

"Then I have to tell Charlie and Renee who will probably be confused since I haven't really told them much about us…"

"Bella!"

Edward shouted out my name to stop my ranting. When I looked up at him, the lines in his face were set hard as stone. His eyes were dull, lacking their usual brilliance. It scared me.

"What Edward?" I asked, my voice mumbling in my worries for what he was about to tell me.

"I don't want you to come with me."

I tried to make sense of what he had just spoken. But it felt as if my spinal cord had detached from my brain. He was telling me something I could not comprehend.

"You…don't…want…me?"

"No. I…" Edward stopped suddenly as he stared back at me.

"You what, Edward?" I whispered, hoping he'd take back the words just spoken.

"I should've done this a long time ago." He looked down at his hands as he spoke. "This relationship was a bad idea from the beginning. You were a bad idea…"

"Don't…don't do this…please." He was this close to confirming all my worst fears; I never was good enough for him was I? I was merely a somewhat enjoyable distraction from his main goal.

"I'm sorry." Edward looked back at me now. There was no sign of remorse in his eyes. "It's for the best though, really."

My eyes were filling with tears that were begging to spill over. I blinked rapidly to try and hold them off. I darted my eyes back and forth trying to displace the moisture that was pooling uncomfortably in the corners.

"A part of me will always care for you Bella, I hope you know that." Edward stood up to take me over to the security check point. He didn't even hold out his hand for me now. When I didn't get up right away, he looked back over his shoulder. "Bella, you need to go or you'll miss your flight."

My body, always eager to do as he willed, responded automatically. Shaky legs lifted me up and carried me forward, even though my brain and heart were left behind on that seat. I reached the end of the line without fully realizing how I got there.

My senses were starting to flicker and fade, cutting me off from recognition of my surroundings. I was left standing, completely defenseless as my entire world crumbled around me. All I knew was Edward turning from me to leave…forever…without saying goodbye. Something clicked back to life briefly as I turned toward him.

"Wait!" I screamed out to stop him. My feet took me back over to where he stood, staring at me confusedly. "I love you Edward."

"I know. Goodbye Bella." And with that, Edward turned and walked out the automatic doors, taking him out of my life for good.

* * *

**Please don't hurt me. you have no idea what writing this chapter did to me. *runs and hides***


	35. Chapter 34

**a/n: not SM tho I guess I did pull a NM. Lol**

**I just wanted to thank you all for the huge response for last chapter. And all it took was splitting those two lovebirds up. If you didn't get a reply from me, I am still working on it. I was just really anxious to get this chapter out, esp after the death threats (haha jk) and angry fists shaking in my general direction. **

**I'm gonna pimp out my homeslice mskathy (I'm glad you guys liked the TTH tidbit in last chapter) and rec her story Discovery of Bella Swan. Mmmm spankbankward is my favorite.  
and apologies for any typos bc it's so damn late…my eyes and brain start to shut off at this point.**

**BPOV**

The details of my flight to Washington were unclear, my mind fuzzy after Edward walked away from me. I did what I was supposed to. I flashed my id, took off my shoes and other metal objects as I passed through security, waited for boarding, stepped onto the plane, put my things in the overhead compartment, sat down and buckled in. I politely, I think, declined beverage service as the friendly flight attendant walked by. I didn't bother unbuckling myself when the light pinged off. What was the point? I was here…but I wasn't. My brain somehow still managed to function even though my heart was broken.

_Edward broke up with me. He did not love me. He did not want me. I was a mistake._

My hand went up to the pendant hanging from my neck. I had taken it off for security, always worried I'd set off the alarm, but promptly put it back when I was through. Some small part of me, the rational part maybe, told me not to bother with it. It no longer meant the same thing, at least not to _him. _Unfortunately my heart, however beaten and broken it was, ruled me when it came to that man. So the damn thing stayed on, tucked under the collar of my shirt. I had grown so accustomed to the weight of it around my neck. To not wear it would make me even more naked and vulnerable than I was since Edward shattered my world.

My feet walked me out of the plane, past a very confused flight attendant. She had offered me a friendly smile. My face was broken. There was no way to force a smile when I felt like I was dying inside. Before I realized it, my hands were tugging at the piece of luggage rotating around the baggage claim. But my arms were weak. I had no strength or will to pull it off. So I watched helplessly as it retreated back out of sight, forcing me to wait even longer among the happy families and friends reuniting.

_How can anyone be happy at a time like this?_

When my luggage came back around, I saw a set of familiar tan skinned hands come out of nowhere to grab onto the handle.

"Let me get that for you Bells."

The voice was recognizable, but for whatever reason muffled, as if my ears too were refusing to work properly. I turned towards the voice, coming face to face with Jacob.

What the hell was he doing here?

"Charlie asked me to come get you so he could get some last minute wedding preparations done."

Jacob was talking to me as he looked down at the tag to make sure the luggage was mine. When he confirmed it was, he finally looked up at me and took in my appearance.

"Bella, have you been crying?"

Had I been? I reached up to touch my cheeks but felt no moisture there. I wondered what I looked like to make Jacob think that.

"I don't know." My voice was quiet and harsh, as if I hadn't spoken aloud for days; just another piece of me that didn't' work right without Edward.

"What the hell happened Bells? You're scaring me." His normally warm eyes turned fierce as he looked me over. "Did someone hurt you? Was it that…guy…"

"Edward." I finished for him.

"I knew it. That fucker! I'll kill him." Jacob's voice was increasing in volume, to the point where others were starting to stare.

"Please don't." I sounded so defeated, even to myself.

I saw Jacob's eyes soften slightly as he listened to my tone of voice. One arm held the garment bag while the other wrapped around me. it felt wrong. And I had to resist cringing away from the foreign body pressed against me.

"C'mon, let's get you in the ar. We have a lot of time for you to tell me exactly what that piece of shit did to you."

--

We drove in silence for several miles. I stared out the window, taking in the familiar surroundings. Everything was so green and alive..like how Edward's eyes used to be when he looked at me.

All around I could see the rain; puddles in pot holes and ditches in the ground…like tears welling up in sad eyes. Rain drops were splattering the windshield…I'm sure my tears would do the same to my pillow once I was safely alone in my room. Droplets clung to the moss and leaves…like tears stuck in my eyelashes.

I hadn't realized I was sobbing until Jacob placed a comforting hand on my knee. This time I did jerk away.

"Bella, it's ok. I just want to help you. You look like shit."

A slightly hysterical giggle left my lips. How could he _say _something like that right now? Of _course _I looked like shit.

"You are such a fucking idiot Jacob Black."

"There you are! Thank God. You looked like a zombie. I was starting to worry whether or not you were still in there." He chuckled lightly as he poked my shoulder. I grimaced at his audacity.

"Shut it Jacob."

"I will…as long as you tell me what's going on. Whatever it is, talking it out will help."

He peeked at me out of the corner of his eye, an encouraging smile directed at me. when that didn't work, he continued. This time he hit below the belt.

"Besides, you need to get yourself together before seeing Charlie and Sue. You may be able to hide it from Charlie for awhile, though eventually even he will be able to see through you, but Sue will notice right away." His eyebrows were set in rigid lines as he concentrated on conveying just how serious things could get if Sue saw me so messed up.

"You're right."

"I usually am." My heart lurched from the pain at hearing a phrase that had left Edward's mouth so often.

I didn't want to tell Jacob about what Edward had said to me, to share the painful words that left a mouth that had previously brought me so much pleasure. So I skimmed over the harsher details. I explained how he had been accepted into Johns Hopkins and we broke up because a long distance relationship just couldn't work with how busy he'd be in school. I may have made it sound like a mutual agreement. I just couldn't bring myself to share how I was not good enough, and never was, for Edward. Saying the words would just reaffirm every horrid detail. My body couldn't handle going through that again.

"There's something you're not telling me." My eyes widened, allowing a few more tears to escape in the process, at how perceptive Jacob was right now. "It's understandable for you to be so upset, but you seem…I dunno…worse than I would've thought. When did you guys break up?"

I stared at him as if it should be completely obvious when Edward broke up with me.

"Shit Bella…he didn't do it today?" I nodded. "But I thought he was dropping you off at the airport." I decided not to ask how he knew that.

"He did."

"Jesus Christ...did he do it…at the airport?"

"Yes." I looked as far away from Jacob's direction as possible. I did not want him to see my reaction.

I felt the car jerk to the left suddenly as Jacob choked out a "mother fucker" and swerved to avoid the car in the next lane.

"He is so dead. If I _ever_ meet this Edward guy I will rip him limb from limb."

"Jacob…"

"No Bells. That guy is a fucking coward. Who does that shit? Waits until you're about to get on a plane to bring up the news? Did he not remember you're about to be in a wedding? Seriously!"

"I'm fine Jacob." I don't know who I was trying to convince more; Jacob or myself.

"No. You're not ok. But you will be. I'll make sure of it."

I was left gaping at the conviction behind his words. How could he be so sure when I saw no silver lining to the situation at hand?

--

Jacob was right. Talking about what happened helped calm me down enough so that I could at least function somewhat normally in front of Charlie and Sue.

It was dark when Jacob pulled up to the familiar driveway. I saw the light streaming from the living room window along with shadows from two people very close together.

Charlie and Sue.

Jacob led the way to the front door, letting himself in as usual. Etta James' "At Last" met my ears, popping and crackling from the old vinyl currently spinning on the record player. Sue's back was to us, head tucked under Charlie's chin as he led her around the room. His eyes were closed, smile playing on his lips as they moved to the music. It was such a tender moment. I didn't want to interrupt them, even if I did feel an ache for love lost in my own life as new love was just beginning.

"Ok lovebirds, we're here." Jake spoke up effectively dissolving the romance in the room. Charlie's eyes popped open and Sue stepped back slightly so she could look over her shoulder.

"Bells!"

Charlie let go of Sue's hand and walked towards me. He pulled me in tight against his flannel shirt, the familiar scent of Pinaud aftershave filling my nostrils. It was so familiar, so welcome, at a time like this. I could almost imagine myself young and small again, before the time of boys and heartache.

"Hey Dad." I sighed out, content to escape my pain by any means possible. My arms held him close to me, not wanting to let go, as if he could keep me together…keep me from falling to pieces.

I felt my eyes fill with tears and had to blink them back quickly. I could not let Charlie see me like this. when I pulled away he looked down at me with a big smile…a smile that faltered once he saw my face.

"Everything ok Bells?"

Sue had her eyes trained on me as I tried to figure out how to answer Charlie's question.

"Yeah, I just feel a little sick from the flight. There was quite a bit of turbulence." That sounded plausible enough.

"Well, let's get you in bed then. Thanks for picking my little girl up Jake."

"No problem Charlie." Jacob turned to look at me, an odd look in his eyes. "I'll see you soon Bells."

"I should get going too." Sue spoke up for the first time since our presence was made known. "Glad you made it in safe Bella." She gave me a warm smile as she hugged me close to her. "Tomorrow's a long day, so get lots of rest."

I nodded as I watched Charlie swoop in to place a lingering kiss on Sue's lips. I heard her giggle. The sound made my stomach churn. And that fact disgusted me. I was getting annoyed with them because they were in love? What was _wrong _with me.

"Goodnight." I mumbled as I bolted up the stairs to the safety of my room.

I didn't bother getting undressed before I fell on my bed. I didn't even bother with my shoes. My body just couldn't _move_ anymore. My brain wanted to shut down finally after being forced to push me through life.

I pulled my cell out of the pocked on my coat. Out of habit I checked to see if I'd missed any calls…more specifically _his _call. Of course I hadn't. there was no reason for him to call me now. With my phone clutched in hand, I lied back and just stared at the ceiling. I must have dozed off because the vibrations against my hand jolted me awake.

I held my breath and tried to calm my racing heart as I looked to see who the text was from. One shaky finger pushed the button that would tell me. I was scared. But I had to know. So I pushed it.

_Just checkin to see if you landed safely._

_Can't wait to hear what Sue thinks of the dress we picked out! –A_

Just Alice.

I instantly regretted thinking that. Alice was my best friend. I should've let her know when I landed, especially since there was no boyfriend who was conveniently her brother to tell. I just wasn't in the mood to talk to her.

_The flight was fine, just long_

_Of course Sue will love the dress, you picked it out! –B_

I didn't have to wait long for a response.



_Btw Edward must miss you already_

_No one's heard from him since you left_

_Bet he's locked in his room sniffing your clothes_

_Lol –A_

"Edward must miss you already?" What the hell? Was Alice playing some kind of sick joke? I was this close to calling and letting out all my hurt on her, when a thought occurred to me.

_She doesn't know. Edward didn't tell her!_

Did he expect me to tell her through text? I couldn't because knowing Alice, she'd call and not stop until she heard from me. And I just couldn't relive the break up for her.

_Why didn't he tell her?_

I had hit the send call button before I even knew what I was doing. The phone rang and rang.

I desperately wanted him to pick up.

I was afraid for him to pick up.

"This is Edward, leave me a message." He didn't pick up and I didn't know if I should be relieved or hurt even more. He was probably screening his calls, afraid I'd call. He didn't want to talk to me.

I heard the beep and froze. I didn't know what to say now…shit…

"Edward?" My voice was timid and unsure. "Alice texted me. She doesn't know what happened, does she?" I felt stupid asking him this, as if he was actually on the other end, an active participant to the conversation. Tears came unwillingly as I realized I may never get to talk to him on the phone again. I would never hear that velvety smooth voice as he told me he missed and loved me. I tried to stop them, an all too common occurrence as of lately, but there was no point. "What am I supposed to tell her?" Salty tears were now rolling down my cheeks; I could taste the sadness on my tongue. "How do I tell her you don't want me anymore?"

I lost it at that point. I was crying too hard, muttering "I love you" and nonsensical words of longing. My sleeve was soaked as I tried to catch and wipe away the tears before they could reach my chin and dribble down my neck.

"I'm sorry Edward. I'm sorry for distracting you, sorry if I made you feel trapped. All I wanted was…"

There was another beep cutting me off. I had "talked" so long, I used up all the time allotted me. I hung up the phone. Then I realized how fucking crazy I probably sounded. I should've erased the message. Better yet, I never should've called in the first place. I was every bit as pathetic as I seemed, but I didn't want him to know that. I had to fix this.

"This is Edward, leave me a message."

"Edward, I'm sorry about that message…I-I-I don't know what came over me. please just disregard it ok? I won't bother you again. Good night, I love you."

I gasped as I hung up the phone, because I shouldn't be saying that stuff to him anymore. He didn't want to hear it from me.

"This is Edward, leave me a message."

"I'm sorry for saying that. I know you don't want to hear it…even if it's true."

Jesus Christ! I hung up the phone and threw it as far away from me as possible. It made a loud thud as it made contact with the far wall. _Great, now I'll probably have to deal with a broken cell phone._ I heard a knock on the door and realized Charlie must have heard the sound.

"Bells, is everything ok in there?" He called out to me from the other side of the door. This was all too familiar…only last time the circumstances had been so much better; Edward on the other side of a webcam, telling me _things_. Did everything have to remind me of him?

"Yeah, sorry, I tripped and dropped my phone."

"You need to get some rest. You and Sue have a date at the spa."

_Don't remind me._

Sleep came easier than I thought it would. I was so tired from all the crying. But the sleep was not restful. My dreams centered around Edward. I even had one where James came back; this time there was no Edward to save me. My body was covered in sweat by the time I had woken up, sheets tangled around my legs.

As I got ready, I noticed how swollen my eyes were. How would I explain that to Sue? But as luck would have it, Sue spoke not a word to me about my puffy eyes. I was grateful for that. She had to have noticed. So why did she choose not to say anything? I had a sinking suspicion she may know. There was no way _I _would be the one to bring it up…especially since she was getting married in less than a day.

We sat down for our facials, side by side. Sue looked over at me and smiled.

"I'm so glad you're here to do this with me Bella. I know I said before that I'm not your mom. But I do consider you more than a friend. I think of you like a daughter."

Traitor tears were threatening me again.

"Thanks Sue, I do. I want to be both to you."

"Good. And so you know, I'm here for you if you need anything." That's all she said. She turned to face forward, leaving me slightly uneasy at the knowing words. She was too perceptive.

"It's a good thing you're here honey. Looks like you're in desperate need of some help." A platinum blonde woman told me as she popped her gum. I scowled at her, wondering how she kept her job when her manners were shit. "Oh, don't do that! We don't want worry lines, now do we?"

--

The day of the wedding dawned…bright, which was a good thing as the ceremony was being held outside. When Charlie had first told me that, I had laughed silly. He went on to explain that Sue had rented a large canopy to cover the guests as they exchanged vows. She was hoping for sunshine. But even if it did rain, she thought the sound of the drops against the canopy would be really romantic.

I heard the doorbell ring and hurried to go answer it. Seth was waiting, tux bag in hand, on the porch. He gave me a wide smile as he walked in.

"Sue sent me here to help Charlie get ready, since you'll be over there getting ready with her. She doesn't trust him to be left by himself. Seems to think he can't dress himself or something."

"He can't." I giggled at the few times I'd seen Charlie in "formal wear" His idea of dressing up consisted of an old brown suit that fit too tight on his shoulders and pants that weren't quite long enough to skim the tops of his shoes.

I ran up to say goodbye to Charlie. I found him sitting on his bed, bow tie twirling in his hands. He had such a worried look on his face.

"Dad, Seth's here. I'm heading over to Sue's."

"Thanks Bells." His voice was hushed as he didn't bother to look up at me.

"Dad, is everything ok?" I went and sat by him, grabbing hold of his hands to still the nervous movements.

"Yeah, just…worried I guess."

"Worried? About what? I've never seen you happier! And Sue looks just as ecstatic to become Mrs. Charles Swan."

"What if I mess it up…like I did with your mother?" He spoke so quietly I wasn't sure I heard him properly.

"Dad," I was on the verge of tears again, only for very different reasons. I always worried that Charlie suffered anxiety over his failed marriage. "You didn't mess up anything with mom. She just…well, she was a free spirit that couldn't be tamed. You loved her, everyone saw it."

"And what if my love isn't enough?" Big doleful eyes looked up at me.

He was breaking my heart. Every word he spoke reminded me of my feelings towards Edward. My love hadn't been enough for him. But that did not mean it would be true for Charlie. I saw the way Sue looked at him. As an outsider I was privy to details Charlie might miss.

"You do more than love her, Dad. You take care of her. You…complete her." I giggled at the cheesy line. It was enough to make him chuckle a little bit too.

"Am I being stupid?"

"Yeah, you are. Now get your butt up and get ready before Seth comes in here and has to actually help you put on your tux."

I drove over to Sue's in the cruiser. I went faster than I normally would because I was running late. I also didn't worry about any cops…pretty sure I was safe from that. After grabbing my dress out of the back I ran up to the front door which was already wide open.

"Sue?"

"In here!" I heard her call out from the bedroom.

When I walked into the room I let out a small gasp. Sue was standing in front of a full length mirror in a beautiful ivory lace dress. The V of the neckline was simple rather than showy. It had an empire waistline which flowed down and ended in a Chapel length train. Tiny crystal beads adorned the intricate design of the lace. Under the bust was the thinnest royal blue ribbon, tied into a small bow. She looked absolutely gorgeous. And I'm pretty sure she would love my dress.

"What do you think?"

"I've never seen a more beautiful bride!" I beamed at her as I began to unzip my garment bag.

I quickly pulled out my dress. It was a navy blue lace dress. Unbelievable that Alice had spotted this at one of the boutiques in Evanston. How she knew to get this, I'll never know. I swear sometimes that girl was psychic. The dress had a deeper V than Sue's, but still nothing too flashy. It was tea length, just skimming my calves. And at the waist…an ivory ribbon.

"Bella, you're dress is perfect! How did you know?"

"I didn't. Alice found it for me." I called out as I went to the bathroom to change.

"Oh, that's Edward's sister, right?"

"Um…yeah." I muttered as I shut the door. I needed to avoid that conversation at all costs.

--

Seth and I walked down the aisle towards the priest at the far end. There was no music, just the sounds of nature in the air. I was Sue's only bridesmaid and Seth was Charlie's only groomsman. Once we reached the end, Charlie turned to smile at me, all trace of worry gone. Now he just seemed anxious; anxious for Sue to become his wife.

The sun had stayed out, just a few stray clouds gently passing through the sky above. But as soon as Sue stepped out and began her walk towards Charlie, I heard the gentle pitter patter of raindrops as they hit the canopy over head. It was one of those rare occurrences, sunshine and rain at the same time. And I couldn't help but think how that was my life right now. I was happy for my father…even if the majority of me was torn up inside over losing Edward. And when both Charlie and Sue said "I do" and kissed to seal their love in the bonds of matrimony, I let myself cry; tears of joy and sadness. I was just lucky crying was an appropriate sentiment here.

**So I wanted to go into more details over the wedding because I had it envisioned so beautifully in my mind. But wtf it's so late and I'm starting to lose it completely. Plus I figure you probs don't care too much about a wedding unless it's for Edward and bella. And since that's not happening…**

**Hope you're happy this is coming to you much sooner than the last update. Let me know what you are thinking. No epov yet. Sorry dears.**


	36. Chapter 35

**a/n: i'm not smeyer. i'm just plain ol' stephanie**

**thanks go out to two ppl today: to bellaslover for reading this over and discussing things with me, even if i am so super lame about my writing. and obv to mah gay bf mskathy who wields the red pen of truth...aka she betas the shit outta my work when i am up late writing and losing brain function.  
lastly, both edward and i are feelin kinda assholey. sorry this took so long. no i am not abandoning this story. in fact...by my best guess...there are only 2 chapters left in the story (more if i get wordy) and quite possibly an epilogue. sources point to yes on that one.**

* * *

Charlie and Sue drove away in… the cruiser. Even through the tears, I managed to cringe at that. Tin cans and streamers trailed behind them as they made their way towards a local Bed and Breakfast. They would stay at the Miller Tree Inn tonight since their flight did not leave until the next day.

Jacob drove me home to an empty house. The idea of being alone there for the night was both relieving and nerve wracking. I was too nervous to be by myself; afraid of where my thoughts would take me. But being alone afforded me the ease of sobbing and carrying on without fear of interruption.

"Bella, are you going to be ok by yourself today?"

Jacob turned to face me as he put his car in park. His eyes were deep with worry. I wondered if he thought I was a danger to myself. _I hadn't done anything to warrant that kind of worry, had I?_

"Of course. I have plenty of things to do to keep me busy." I had nothing. "So don't worry. If I get bored, I'll call you." I would definitely not be calling him.

I really hated how perceptive Jacob was being as he arched one thick eyebrow at me. He didn't believe my lie. Why should he, though, if I didn't believe my lie? Luckily, he declined calling me out on my bullshit. I stepped out of the VW Rabbit that Jacob had started rebuilding when I still made yearly visits and made my way hurriedly through the oncoming downpour.

Once inside I walked slowly upstairs, noticing how my feet sounded on the hardwood, the creaks of the wood reverberating and echoing through the empty house. I had no idea what to do now. I had the entire night to myself. Aside from the few hours in the morning when I would see Charlie and Sue, I had all of tomorrow by myself as well. That thought made me shiver despite the warm breeze coming in through my open window. Seriously, what was I going to do until my flight back to Chicago?

_First thing's first, get out of this dress._

I stripped off the blue lace and hung up the dress so thoughtfully picked out by Alice. How would things be once I got back to Evanston? Would she side with her brother or her friend?

I looked down at myself and noticed the cream bra and panty set I was wearing. I realized for the first time since putting it on that the set was a gift from Edward. I hastily pulled the soft fabric off my body, flinging it across the room in an attempt to not think that I had been wearing something Edward had touched. His hands would never touch me again. I did not want a reminder of the poor substitute the lingerie represented. _I could not wear it anymore. I need to get new underwear._

I shivered again as I made my way to the bathroom, completely naked, to take a shower. _At least being completely alone allows me the convenience of not having to cover up. _The hot water pounding against my skin was something I was greatly anticipating. When I stepped into the bathroom and saw my reflection in the mirror, I stopped dead in my tracks, all thoughts of a shower forgotten. I balked at my reflection. The girl in the mirror was me… but not.

It had only been a couple days since Edward had left me broken at the airport. Already I was thinner, paler, frailer. My hands moved across my skin, exploring my body in wonder. Even when Edward and I were together, I was average looking at best. How had his hands traveled similar paths across my arms, chest, stomach and legs? If he could see me now, there was no way he would want to do any of those things to me again. _No matter, he doesn't want to do those things to you now anyway._

Angry at myself for the self loathing, I stormed the remaining distance over to my shower and set the water as hot as it could go. Steam quickly filled the small bathroom, fogging up the mirror so that I did not have to see myself anymore. I stepped into the stream of hot water, flinching back slightly at the burn of it against my skin. Eventually I adjusted to the sharp feel of the water, relishing in feeling _anything _other than sadness at this point. My skin turned pink, quickly turning to red under the steady stream of water.

I reached for the generic shampoo Charlie kept in here, thankful I had not taken the time to bring the strawberry shampoo Edward seemed to love so much. I didn't want to smell it anymore. It would only make me think of those times he buried his nose in my hair, inhaling deeply. He had always told me how good I smelled. I massaged the shampoo into my hair, maybe digging into my scalp a little too excessively, then rinsed it off quickly. My hand went out to grab some conditioner, only to discover there was none. Charlie never bought any for himself. I frowned, realizing that my hair would look and feel dry once I blow dried it. _But who cares, no one is here to see it anyway._

I lathered up the bar of soap Charlie kept in the shower. I had forgotten to bring in a washcloth so would now have to use my hands. The combination of the hot water and my hands lightly rubbing my skin was soothing. Tension I had not been aware of was lessening as I continued to wash myself. My eyes followed the soap suds as they traveled over my breasts, down my stomach, and disappeared between my legs. Flashbacks of moments I had shared with Edward in the shower invaded my mind. His hands always followed the same path as the soap, only lingering over my more sensitive body parts.

Subconsciously my hands began to linger as well, feeling the weight of my own breasts and the softness of my nipples. My head tilted back to rest against the shower wall as I enjoyed the sensation of fingers tugging at my nipples. Feather light touches ghosted across my stomach, circling my navel and barely rubbing my hipbones just as _he_ had done. My stance widened on instinct, legs parting for the touch I always craved. When my hand reached me _down there_it was only Edward's hand I felt; his palm rubbing against my clit as his finger slowly teased around my entrance. My legs trembled as long, skilled fingers brought me to my release. But when I had finished riding out my pleasure, I felt so… unfulfilled. I looked down and stared at my own hand as it cupped my sex. Hot tears mixed with the water as I cried in realization that Edward really was the only one that could make my body truly sing. And he was never going to do it again. My body would be left to be played by less skilled hands for the rest of my life, because no one could compare to Edward. No one.

I turned the water off in a haze of tears, groping blindly for a towel. Once my hand brushed against the thick cotton, I wrapped it around my body, not even bothering to really dry off. All I wanted was to get in bed, under the covers to try and block myself from my own thoughts.

As I climbed in and pulled the duvet over my still wet body, I noticed my cell phone resting on my night stand. It was blinking at me, indicating a missed call. Hope swelled inside, despite the rational part of me. When I flipped open my phone and saw I had 5 missed calls and 5 unread text messages my heart sped up. I checked the calls first, all from Alice. I almost didn't bother checking the texts, as I was sure they would all be from her too.

_Bella, please pick up. I finally talked to Edward. I know. -A_

God that sounded ominous…_I know._

_Maybe the wedding is still going on. Txt or call when you're done. -A_

_Bella I'm starting to freak out over here. Call me. –A_

_I swear to god I'm gonna kill Edward. –A_

_Don't ignore me Bella. I won't stop til I talk to you. –A_

I knew she wouldn't, and the constant calls and texts would be very, very annoying right now. But how did I call and talk to her about this? I didn't want to break down on the phone with Alice. I didn't want to break down at all anymore. Hearing her sadness, her… pity… towards the situation would be more than upsetting right now.

My phone rang in my hand, Alice leaving no option as she was currently calling me. I felt my heart thud somewhere in my throat as I anticipated what this conversation would be like. My mouth opened in greeting, but no words came out as I answered.

"_Bella? Oh my god, finally. Are you ok? Well, I mean, I know you're not _okay. _But, still, are you…ok?" _Alice managed to squeak out all of that in one breath.

"Yeah, of course Alice. I'm f-fine," I stuttered out, sounding completely unconvincing. Tears were already beginning to well up in the corners of my eyes again. _Damn it_.

"_Oh Bella, I'm so sorry. Edward finally returned my calls…" _She paused as if she wanted me to say something, but really, what was left to say? She knew how he felt. "_And I can't believe it. I just cannot believe it." _

As if I could?

"Please, Alice. Don't do this. Not now. I don't want to talk about it."

"_You need to. Who else have you got out there, huh? I mean, once you get back you'll have me and Rose and Jasper and obviously Emmett to talk to. But for now, it's just you and me on the phone. Talk to me."_

At her words, I was painfully reminded of our little group of friends. They all treated me so well; from the very beginning when Emmett helped unpack all my things. And even when Edward and I were still determined to hate each other, they stuck by me. But when Edward and I finally got together, that was when our circle of friends was really complete. They had become more than just my friends, they had become my family.

The only problem was that I could not think about _them _without thinking of _him. _Almost every happy memory I had of my friends contained Edward. It was too hard to think about it all. From our first night out clubbing, the way Edward had taken care of me without my knowledge, to sexy karaoke singing at the Hundo. Even celebrating the end of MCAT studying madness held great memories…despite all that led up to it.

I knew without having to actually experience it that being around them would be too hard, at least for right now. I did not want to resent my memories of Edward, I loved him too much for that. But seeing them, being around them, would only force me to think of things I wanted to ignore. And then I really might end up not only resenting Edward and what we shared, but my friends as well; friends who could still talk to Edward anytime they wanted.

A forceful realization struck me then: I did not want to go back to Evanston, not yet anyway. I needed to stay in Forks. Charlie could find me a job I was sure. I just had to convince him to let me stay here by myself… and not question why.

"_Bella, are you ok? You still there? You haven't said anything in awhile. What are you thinking about?" _I didn't want to tell Alice yet. She would be sure to get on the next flight out of Chicago to Seattle and drag me back with her.

"Yeah Alice, I'm here. I just…" I didn't know how to finish that sentence.

"_Tell me what happened Bella, if you can, please? Edward wasn't very…forthcoming with details. Only that it happened at the airport."_

"I don't think I can Alice…"

She must have sensed how fresh the hurt was, must have heard it in my voice because she did not press but decided to continue talking. Alice told me how Edward had been ignoring everyone's calls. She hadn't realized anything was wrong until she spoke to Carlisle. He was furious at his son, saying that he hadn't meant Edward "to do anything like that" when he had suggested volunteering at local hospitals in Maryland. Clearly Edward had chosen to not tell anyone his plans before putting them in action.

I was sure, much like she had done with me, Alice called Edward relentlessly until he finally could ignore her no longer. He told Alice that we had broken up at the airport, not sharing anything more with her except that it was "for the best." When she pressed for more details he made up some excuse as to why he needed to get off the phone.

"_What did he say to you Bella?"_

"He... doesn't want me." I sobbed out the words, pressing my face into the pillow to muffle out the sounds.

"_He's lying." _Her words came out strong and sure.

"No." I shook my head even though she couldn't see the action.

"_He is Bella. He has only ever wanted you. How can you sit there and believe any of the bullshit he told you? Can't you see why he said all that?"_

I couldn't hear any of this, not now.

"I gotta go Alice… someone's at the door." Anything to get her off the phone. "Bye." I hung up before she had a chance to respond.

I stared at the phone in my hand, turning it over idly. What would Alice have said had I not hung up on her? What could Edward's reasoning be for declaring he no longer wanted me? _Could _he have been lying? Might he still want me, love me?

Somehow my phone was placing a call to someone I should have left alone. _Hope makes me do stupid things. _At the beep I launched into a one sided conversation.

"Hey Edward, it's me again. I'm sorry to bother you, but I know that you were excited for Charlie and Sue and I thought maybe…maybe you wanted to know that the wedding went really well. Sue looked beautiful and Charlie looked uncomfortable in his tux but really, really happy. And I…well I managed not to cry, at least when it wasn't appropriate. I held it together, for Charlie and Sue, ya know? I didn't want to ruin their big day. I didn't want Charlie to get upset at you. It's not your fault…not your fault that you don't want to be with me anymore." Tears were coming and I knew I had to wrap this up if I wanted to seem at least somewhat sane. "Anyway, that's it…thought you'd like to know. Hope you're doing great in Maryland. I'm sure you are. You always are…great…at medical stuff that is…" I trailed off, not knowing what to say and feeling like a complete idiot for even having called in the first place.

I hung up and stared at the phone, cursing it and its ability to connect me to the one person I longed to talk to most but could never reach again. My phone began to ring and once more I got just a little too excited at the idea that it could be Edward. _Maybe he is finally returning my calls. _But the caller ID flashed Alice. I hit 'ignore' out of the bitter disappointment I felt.

I turned my phone off in case Alice tried calling back. I don't know what she wanted to tell me, but I did not need false reassurances that Edward still loved me. He did not. Any story she tried to tell me would only result in more false hope and I was sick of crying, sick of receiving even an ounce of "maybe" when it came to Edward. I didn't want to feel like this anymore, feel as if I wasn't _whole_ without him. Even though it was true, I didn't relish the pain in my stomach and heart every time I had to acknowledge that I was only a shadow of the person I was with him.

--

When I woke up, my eyes were almost swollen shut from the amount of crying I had done the night before. I rushed to the bathroom to wash off my face. After patting dry I looked up and groaned at my reflection. My hair was a rat's nest. _I will never fall asleep with wet hair again._ I tried to comb through it, but with little success. _Looks like I'll have to take another shower. _I would not let myself linger in there this time. I could not handle going through something similar to last night.

After getting dressed and making myself breakfast, I heard the cruiser pull up in the driveway. I knew I had to bring up the idea of staying in Forks as soon as possible. I only had a few hour window of opportunity, otherwise Charlie and Sue would be taking off and not be returning until August. My mind struggled to think of good arguments as to why I should stay here. I also needed to keep up the pretense that I was fine, in case either of them brought up Edward.

"Bella? You in here?" I heard Charlie call from the front door. Two soft thuds told me they had set their luggage down in the hallway. Footsteps made their way towards where I was at the kitchen table and I felt suddenly very nervous.

"Hey Dad! Sue!" I tried for cheery. It sounded forced, even to myself.

Both settled into chairs at the table to join me. We exchanged a few pleasantries, but didn't have much else to talk about. I had just seen them yesterday, and what they did last night was nothing I wanted to talk about.

"You ready to head back out to Chicago tomorrow?" _Here we go._

"Actually, Dad, I was thinking I'd like to stay in Forks for the summer." I saw Charlie's eyes light up for a second, probably thinking of how we could spend the time together, before his grin turned into a frown.

"But Bells, we won't be here for most of the summer."

"I know. I was just thinking it would be nice to get a job and save up some money for next year."

"You don't want to get a job out there?" Sue spoke up beside Charlie. She was eyeing me, trying to figure out what was really going on.

"Um…"

"What about your, uh, _boyfriend._" Even feeling the pang in my heart at the mention of Edward, it was sweet how flustered Charlie got over the fact that I have… had a boyfriend.

"Well, see, he's going to be really busy this summer volunteering at hospitals in preparation for med school." They didn't have to know the hospitals weren't even in the state of Illinois. "And I already looked into getting a job there and there aren't many options. I figured I could try and find one here." That was a huge lie that they also did not need to know about.

"But you'll be alone." Charlie's frown deepened at the thought of his little girl by herself all summer long.

"Not really. There's Jacob. And Seth too. It will be nice to really get to know my new step brother." That caused a smile to form on both Charlie's and Sue's face.

"I don't know Bells. I mean, spending time with those two would be great I'm sure, especially Seth. But you'd still be staying in a house all by yourself."

"Oh Charlie, lighten up. She's old enough to be by herself. Besides, that new outdoors shop opened up just off the freeway. I think they're hiring right now." Sue jumped to my defense. It was nice but also kind of odd. She gave me a look of understanding before turning to look at Charlie.

"Well, if you don't see any harm in it, I guess that could work. We'll have to go over a lot of things before we leave, just to insure you're safe while we're gone." I rolled my eyes before I even realized it. Charlie missed it, but Sue did not. She had to try and turn her laugh into a cough before Charlie caught on that we were laughing at how he was treating me like I was still 14.

The rest of the time Charlie and Sue were there was spent going over the entire house, making sure each window was closed and locked. If I opened a window I was to make sure to lock it at night, and never leave the house without closing it. I could not leave a house key hidden under the eave any longer. No one was allowed to come inside the house besides Seth, not even Jacob. Apparently Charlie liked Jacob but didn't _trust _him, a thought that made me laugh. Charlie even gave me a can of pepper spray. I had to promise to carry it with me wherever I was, even when I was at home. "You never know Bells," was what Charlie had told me. Throughout the entire walk through, I simply nodded along in agreement. He needed the reassurance that the house and I would be safe, not me. I was a big girl, even if Charlie couldn't quite see that.

Finally, Charlie and Sue were heading out the door, Seth having offered to drive them up to the airport. Before they got in and drove off though, Sue pulled me aside.

"Bella, is there more to the Edward situation than you're letting on?"

_Oh god, please no. Not now. I don't think I can keep the tears away while Charlie is here._

"Sue…" She looked into my eyes, probably seeing the moisture collecting there. Her arms were around me in a flash, holding me close to her. I trembled slightly as I tried to resist the oncoming flood of emotions that the mere mention of Edward had stirred up.

"I think you just answered the question. Whatever happened Bella, it'll work out. If you need to talk, email me. I'll be checking pretty frequently while traveling. You know you can tell me anything, right?"

"Yes. Thanks Sue." I swiped at my eyes, trying to collect the treacherous tears there. I could not let Charlie see.

I was waving goodbye not five minutes later, left alone to my own devices. Sue had given me free reign over her car. She said she didn't mind me driving it. Still, I would only be using it to and from work... that is, if I got the job.

Most of the day was spent in a haze of trying-but-failing-to-not-think-of-Edward. I tried reading, but Charlie's collection was not impressive. Although I had brought a few favorites with me, most were love stories at their core. And _The Time Traveler's Wife_? Forget it. I could never ever read that story without thinking of Edward. Movies weren't much help either. They did not engage my mind adequately. I usually zoned out, thinking about my own personal He-Who-Shall-Remain-Nameless…only I always thought of his name. Edward was such a beautiful name to me.

Alice called, resulting in more tears. She was mad at me for turning off my phone the night before. When I finally told her about my plan to stay in Forks for the summer? She was furious. She ended up telling me exactly what I did not want to hear; that Edward still loved me.

"_He's doing this because he thinks it's best for you. Doesn't make it right…but deep down he had your best intentions at heart."_

"That's fucking bullshit Alice, and you know it."

"_The leaving you part is, I won't deny it. But the still loving you is not. I can tell. He sounds…just as broken as you do."_

I rushed to get off the phone after that. I could not allow hope to grow in my heart, because when it was confirmed that he did not want me, all that pointless desire and anticipation to have him back in my life would just fester and rot me from the inside out.

--

The next day I received a call on the house phone from Sharon Newton. She called in regards to working at their sporting goods store. Apparently the Chief of Police had called to inform her that his only daughter was looking for a job. They had just recently opened. It was family owned, so the only employees at the moment were Sharon, her husband, and their son Mike. She expected business to pick up as it was situated right off the exit leading to the more popular hiking and hunting trails in the area. Sharon asked when I could start. When I said "how about tomorrow," she nearly sobbed in gratitude.

Jake came over to see if I wanted to hang out. A part of me really wanted the distraction. Jake usually did such a great job of keeping me busy and my thoughts centered on the here and now. Only another part of me was worried that, after the confession he made during Christmas and with the news of my break up, Jake had ulterior motives. I declined his offer. He frowned at me and even tried to pout to see if he could charm me out of my house, but I was determined to mope inside.

Alice called yet again. We continued to argue around the question of Edward's love for me. It seemed she intended on calling me every day until I conceded that he did in fact still love me. I never would, because he did not. There was no evidence that could make me change my mind.

"_What about all the times he told you he loved you? What about the time you spent together, the things you shared?"_

"Feelings change Alice. Maybe he only _thought_ he loved me. He probably realized his feelings for me were shallow in comparison to what real love felt like."

"_And how would he have suddenly come to that conclusion, Bella? Edward's been with enough women to be able to the difference between lust and love."_

"Maybe it was just lust mixed with some like…it probably threw him off."

Alice went off on me after that. I hung up. She tried calling back, but I again ignored the call. I felt a trend forming.

My fingers itched to call Edward. I just wanted to hear his message. I missed his voice, so smooth like velvet. Even reciting a standard greeting sounded so sexy coming from him. But that made me seem crazy. And crazy though I may be, again, I didn't want Edward knowing that.

So instead I just texted him…naturally. It was as if my heart was conspiring against me, getting my brain to agree to the crazy shenanigans of my grief. I don't even know what I said. The important, dreadfully so, part was that I had actually sent him a text. It was sitting in his inbox, just waiting to be deleted before reading. I doubted he even cared to hear or see anything from me.

I fell asleep that night to images of Edward scoffing at my pathetic attempts to reach out to him. He had a gorgeous blonde on his arm, kissing his neck and running her hands through his hair, the same as I used to do. Though I wanted to think that Edward would revert back to his former "player" self, if only to stop loving him so hard, I knew deep down that he wasn't really like that. He had never really enjoyed being like that. If for nothing else, maybe being with me had helped him grow out of the need to act that way.

--

My first day at Newton's did not start off well. It was pouring rain outside. I slipped on a worm and fell in a puddle as I made my way inside the store. My left pant leg was completely soaked through, including a large patch on my ass, as if I had wet myself. I was in a foul mood that only worsened when I heard a somewhat familiar voice call out my name.

"Bella? _You're _the Bella Mom hired?" Why did that voice sound so familiar? "How cool is this?" He said it more to himself than anything.

As I stared into the blue eyes in front of me, I realized how I knew this guy. Mike…_Mike_…there had been a guy in my biology lab named Mike. Damn it…what are the fucking odds that the Mike that had asked me out the Friday before my relationship had changed for the better with Edward was the same Mike who I would now be working with on a regular basis?

"Mike, it's good to see you again." I forced the lie out.

"So you remember me? Really? Cool." He tried for a sexy smirk. But no one could pull that off, not like Edward could.

We chatted for a few minutes before Sharon came out from the back to give me a tour of the store. Until I was trained on register, I was in charge of keeping things well stocked.

"Don't worry, if you need any help you can ask me. I can pretty much lift anything in this store." Mike winked at me while trying to subtly show off biceps that didn't seem to exist to me. I had to bite my tongue to keep from laughing at the mental image of Mike asking me if I wanted tickets to the gun show.

The day passed by fairly slowly. Because of the rain there were not as many customers as Sharon had hoped for. I wondered if anyone had clued her in that Forks was the rainiest place in the US before she decided to pack up her family to move here. Mike followed me around whenever there were no customers to ring up.

"So, you know I'm new to the Forks area, and Mom tells me you grew up here."

"Oh, not really, I just used to spend summers here with my dad."

"Still, I bet you know more about the town than I do. Maybe you can show me around some time?"

"Hm, maybe…I'll have to check my schedule." Even if every single day was left blank, I did not have time for him.

Later that night Alice called, as was expected.

"_Remember how Edward basically saved you from James? And he left that sweet message for you in that note?"_

"Yeah." I did not like where this conversation was going…though I never liked where Alice took our conversations.

"_I think he loved you even back then."_

"Alice, he didn't even know me. He didn't love me."

"_Love at first sight Bella. It exists."_

"Goodnight Alice."

--

That routine continued over the next week. Jake would either call or stop by, trying to get me out of the house. Sometimes I agreed, most I did not. I would go to work, be harassed by a guy who was way too eager for my taste, then come home to be harassed by my best friend.

My emotions were a fucking rollercoaster. Every day I woke up feeling alone and unwanted. Even with Mike's persistent pick up lines and "subtle" hints at going out, I did not feel better. I only wanted to be wanted by Edward. Then I'd go home and have to listen to Alice. She always went over past dates or moments with Edward. The hardest night had been when Alice had recounted the first time we said "I love you." I had asked how she even knew about that.

"_Edward told me the next day. You have no idea how long he had wanted to tell you. And when he finally did and you said it back? Bella, I had never seen him happier. He was practically _glowing, _and that is not even a term I like to use to describe men. But he was, because you loved him. Don't tell me that just suddenly went away for him, cecause it didn't."_

I cried so hard that night that I almost threw up.

Jacob came over the next day, again pleading with me to go out. It was well timed. I was still aching from my conversation with Alice from the night before and I didn't have to go into work. I would've done anything to get out of the house and away from the trapped feelings in my head.

"Let's do something crazy Bells."

"Oh yeah…because there is so much crazy shit to get into in Forks."

I saw a wicked gleam come into Jake's eyes.

"I have the perfect thing for us!"

He drove us out of Forks and into Port Angeles. We zipped through downtown, passing the more touristy parts of town and into a seedier area.

"Jake…what are we doing?"

"Just trust me, ok? If you don't like it, we'll head back."

He got out of the car and started walking towards our final destination. It did not go unnoticed that he didn't open my door for me, but not everyone was a gentleman like Edward. His long legs took him towards a store I could not yet see, being so far behind.

"Jake, slow down, I can't catch up!" I called out as he came to a sudden stop.

He turned to me with a grin as I looked up to a sign above the door that read "Pat's Tats."

"Well…you game?"

My eyes bugged out. When Jake had said we should do something crazy…I didn't think he meant _that_ crazy.

"Jake, I don't know. I think Charlie would kill me!"

"But isn't that some of the appeal to it? Doing something kind of "bad" for the thrill of it?" I still looked weary as he opened the door. "You don't have to get anything Bella. But I am. Will you sit with me?"

I nodded and Jake's smile widened. We headed inside to a nearly empty tattoo parlor. I assumed Pat was behind the desk, drawing something out in a sketch pad.

"Can I help you?" Pat's voice was low and gravelly, probably from years of smoking.

"Yeah, I'm interested in getting a tattoo." Jake still had that goofy smile on his face.

"Well obviously dumbass." I noticed the smile leave Jake's face. "What of?"

"A-a-a wolf." He seemed slightly nervous now.

After producing ID to prove he was 18, Jake and Pat went through several books of different drawings and pictures of tattoos on people. Pat started to sketch something out as Jake watched. He seemed to approve, because after Jake nodded, Pat led him to the back of the shop towards a chair surrounded by several tattooing devices…so I assumed.

Jake was getting it on his left pectoral, so he quickly pulled his shirt off and threw it in my direction. Once he was settled in the chair, Pat transferred the design onto Jake's chest. I watched with rapt attention as Pat began to slowly apply the ink to Jake's skin. Every so often, Jake would scrunch up his eyebrows, lips pursed slightly as if trying to hide the fact that he was in obvious pain. I giggled next to him.

"What are you getting girly?" Pat inclined his head towards me, never taking his eyes off his canvas for a moment.

"Oh, I don't know…" I started.

But the more I watched, the more I wanted one. I had never been one to object to tattoos, but it was also something that never came up before. Now that I was here, maybe I could be daring. And the needle…maybe the physical pain would be distracting from the emotional pain I felt.

"You should do it Bells. Get a nice rose or something."

"A rose? A girl as beautiful as her shouldn't get a rose."

At the mention of the word "beautiful" an unwanted image popped into my head. Edward in a hotel room, surrounded by orchids.

"_Did you know orchids symbolize beauty?" I shook my head no. "They are lovely, true. But they do not even compare to you, my love."_

I shook my head to rid it of thoughts of our time at the Peninsula. I was so happy then, and Edward had declared me as beautiful, something I always wanted to be in his eyes. Edward had thought I was beautiful. I could not hear any lie in his voice when he told me that back then. The recollection didn't seem to point to a lie either.

I was always so quick to second guess myself, especially when it came to my looks. I wanted to think positively about myself, even if being beautiful to Edward wasn't enough to keep him with me.

"How about an orchid?"

Pat smiled at me as he paused work on Jake's wolf.

"Now that is pretty damn perfect for you."

Before I knew it, I was getting bandaged up along my right ribcage. Jake had asked why I chose that spot.

"Well, I wanted it somewhere inconspicuous, somewhere Charlie would never see, but still have it somewhere that I could see every day."

"It just looks…so _painful_." He winced as he ran a hand lightly over his chest.

"I've felt worse." I cast my eyes down as I let that slip out.

"Bella…" Jake started almost as a warning.

"Thanks for doing this, paying for me I mean."

Jake had insisted, as it was his idea in the first place. He told me to plug my ears and look away when Pat rang him up for mine, but I saw how expensive his was. I definitely felt like I needed to repay him. I guess I'd be hanging out with him a lot more.

Later that night, as I removed the bandage to clean the area, I admired the art on my body. There was a single stem that curved slightly down my side, three fully opened orchid blooms along it. They were shaded a deep purple. The skin around it was still red from the intrusion and I longed for the day when it was completely healed. I knew I'd look at it and instantly think "beautiful" and for that one piece of my relationship with Edward, I was truly grateful. That knowledge only increased my good mood as I had something that I would never resent him for.

When Alice called, I excitedly told her about my new tattoo. She seemed so taken back at the news that I had gone through with it, but when I told her what it was of, I heard her typical squeal ring through the phone.

"What Alice?"

"_I know those are the flowers Edward got for you for your Valentine's weekend."_

"So?"

"_So…deep down I think you know he still loves you. Why else would you get something permanently marked on your body that reminds you of him?"_

"Not of him Alice…of what it symbolizes."

"_Keep telling yourself that sweetheart."_

--

Another week passed by. I had successfully gone without calling or texting Edward for some time now. I had work, Alice and Jake to thank. Those three in combination helped keep me busy and so exhausted that by the end of the night I usually just threw myself in bed without a second thought.

Mike was still hovering, trying to push me to accept a date, and I was still saying no. Jake still called or stopped by every day to hang out. He thought it was weird that I never let him in the house, but after telling him about Charlie's rule, he understood.

"I wouldn't be surprised if he installed hidden cameras in the house." We both laughed at that. I wouldn't put it past him either, only I knew he had no time to do so before leaving.

And Alice with her damned phone calls, was still telling me every night how Edward was still in love with me.

"_Bella, do you still wear the necklace he gave you?"_

"Yes." I only took it off to shower. I couldn't part with the one piece of him that stayed close to me. I still loved him deeply, I always would. Even if he did not love me back, I wanted to remember him. I was in no danger of resenting him. In fact, my feelings for him had not changed one bit since he left me at the airport, no matter how harsh it was.

"_I wonder where his is, because he didn't leave it here. It wasn't in his apartment or his room at home. I know because I looked everywhere for it."_

"He probably got rid of it, threw it away or pawned it."

"_You know Edward would never do that."_

"Yeah maybe."

"_He still wears it Bella."_ Again with the determined voice, as if she clearly _knew_ he still wore it.

"No Alice. He has no reason to wear it anymore."

"_He's miserable, did you know that? He won't really talk to me. But my mom and dad can hear it. Edward always was one to wear his emotions on his sleeve. He's miserable because he still loves you and knows he fucked up."_

"Alice," I started as calmly as possible, "pardon my French, but shut the fuck up. He doesn't ok? He doesn't love me anymore." Sobs began to work themselves through my system. I hadn't felt this awful in awhile and was unprepared to handle it.

"_Why are you so quick to deny it Bella? After all he did? How can you second guess all that he did, all that he said to you, because of a few stupid sentences?"_

"Because…" I was huddled on the floor of my bedroom, pillow clutched to my chest in an attempt to keep from totally falling apart. "If he still loved me, how could he say that to me…leave me like that? It hurt so much Alice. So fucking much."

"_He doesn't know any better. You are the only real relationship he has ever been in. Edward has always been so… self sacrificing. If he thought it was what was best for you, then he'd do it, at whatever cost. Hurt you to help you or whatever bullshit he tries to tell himself in order to justify his actions."_

"I can't…Alice I can't…"

"_You can't what sweetie?"_

"I can't keep going back and forth, hoping he still loves me. When it turns out he doesn't, I just…I can't. I'm not strong enough." Words left me as I cried uncontrollably into the phone.

"_Oh Bella, I know it's hard. But you'll see. He can't keep hurting both of you like this for much longer. Just try and be strong for a little bit longer. If he doesn't do something soon, I will go out to Maryland and kick his ass. Ok? Emmett will come too. He's been dying to beat the shit out of Edward since he found out what he did."_

I managed to let out a very weak laugh as she said goodbye.

--

Saturday I woke up to…the sun. The brightness coming through my window helped to lighten the dark mood I had woken up in. I would also be spending the entire day with Jake up in Port Angeles. Pat wanted us to come in for touch ups on our tattoos, so we figured we'd make a day out of it.

I still had a few hours before Jake was coming to pick me up. I decided to make the most of the sunshine, always fearful of sudden clouds rushing in, and read outside. After spreading a blanket out on the always damp grass, I stretched out to read. Sue had left some "really great teenage vampire" book at the house. She kept going on and on about it. I finally relented, though the premise sounded ridiculous, and decided to read it in the sunshine.

As I got lost in the book, I discovered that it was absolutely captivating and heartbreaking. The vampire's name was Edward. _Edward! _And not only that, but it was a love story. Even though it pained me, I continued on. I lost track of time, startling when Jake called to tell me he was on his way to pick me up.

I heard a knock on the door just as I finished running a brush through my hair. As soon as I opened the door, Jake was pulling me into a bone crushing hug. I winced, afraid he'd damage my tattoo, and pushed him off me. I tenderly rubbed my side, hoping it was ok.

"For goodness sake Bella, It's been a week and a half. It's fine. I don't think me hugging you will hurt it."

"Yeah, but…I'm just paranoid I guess. Besides, what's got you in such a good mood today?"

"It's a beautiful day out! It's gonna be a great day, I can just feel it!" He sounded so much like Alice right there that I laughed along with his loud chuckles.

--

Nothing remarkable happened in Port Angeles. I guess Jake wasn't as good as Alice. It had been fun, but nothing…great. Though to be honest, nothing great had really happened to me since Edward left me at the airport. Pat had been very pleased with how my orchid had healed. He told me that it was a beautiful piece of art for an already beautiful girl. I of course blushed as Jake ushered me outside, declaring he was getting the "creepy" vibe from Pat.

He was so protective of me. Occasionally he'd wrap an arm around my shoulder, or put his hand on the small of my back as he led me through the crowd downtown. It felt weird…so inappropriate, but I knew he didn't mean anything by it. We had been hanging out going on three weeks without any crossing the line behavior. I wasn't afraid he'd make a move or anything.

There were a few times when I saw a silver car drive by and my heart ached in remembrance of Edward's Volvo. My mind took me to the time we made love on his front seat. I had wanted him to smell me every time he got in it. Did he even bother taking the car with him to Maryland?

The hardest part of the day had been as we walked towards a small café. I spotted a head of reddish brown hair, so like Edward's, heading down a side street out of view. My fingers twitched at the thought of his silky hair passing through them. I shoved both hands in my pockets to try and keep the phantom feelings at my fingertips.

It was getting late and my feet were starting to hurt from all the walking we had done. I fell asleep on the drive back to Forks. Jake shook me a little to wake me up so I could crawl into the house and in bed. When I stumbled out of the car, Jake decided to help me to the front door, afraid my legs couldn't support my weight anymore.

As I went to step up onto the front porch, my foot, heavy with my drowsiness, caught on the step. I stumbled forward with arms outstretched to catch myself, cushion the fall. Jake wrapped both arms around me, pulling my body against his, before I hit the ground. I was lost in the similar sensation of a habit Edward had taken to so often that I almost moved into Jake's embrace. But I checked my actions before I gave off the wrong impression, pushing gently away from his body so he would not get offended.

"Thanks Jake. Really, that would've hurt a lot if I had fallen."

"No prob…" He trailed off as his eyes moved down slightly towards my chest. I felt his hands, still on me, dig slightly into my sides.

A quick scan told me that I hadn't like…popped out or anything. Why was he staring at me? I looked at his face His expression was _angry_ and I grew even more confused.

"Jake?"

"What the fuck are you doing wearing that?!"

"What?"

He rose a trembling hand to my neck, gripping onto the chains around it, sliding his fingers down to the pendant with Edward's name on it. _Edward's necklace._

"I...um...it was a gift."

"SO?!" I flinched at his harsh voice.

"I promised…promised I'd never take it off." I whispered the words, afraid of Jake's reaction.

"SO?!" he repeated. "Why does he deserve your promises? Bella he…is a piece of shit. The minute he left you at the airport, you should've ripped that necklace off and thrown it away. Why didn't you?"

"I couldn't." My voice was small and timid next to his. Tears were coming fast and I couldn't do a thing to stop them.

"Because of the promise? Fuck the promise." Jake was seething in his rage.

"Because I still love him." I blurted out, not really thinking. The only other person, besides myself, that I had admitted this to was Alice. I watched as Jake's eyes softened, his shoulders hunching down slightly.

"Listen Bells. I love you, right? We're tight like family. All I wanted to do was help you get over that fucker, help you move on and stop being so sad all the time. But if you're not willing to give him up in your heart, no amount of my help will do you any good."

"I'm sorry Jake." I was crying harder now. "I know you were trying to help, and you did, but I can't just stop…stop loving him. Ever," I finished, my voice barely audible.

"Why don't you get some sleep Bells…you could use the rest. I'll talk to you tomorrow ok?"

I nodded as I unlocked the door and headed inside. Like so many nights before, I simply kicked my shoes off and plopped on top of my bed, not needing to get under covers as the sun had warmed my bedroom all day long.

Even though I was overwhelmed with the encounter I just had with Jake, I slipped into a light, uneasy sleep. My brain had gotten good at shutting out, at least consciously, the bad thoughts and feelings. It wasn't strong enough to keep it out of the subconscious so I could fall into a deep sleep, but it was something. It was a start.

I was jarred awake suddenly. My hand went out to my phone on instinct. Alice probably called…I had missed our regular conversation tonight. But my phone registered no missed call. So what woke me up?

As my brain defogged from the sleep I had been in, my ears pricked at a sound coming from...somewhere. I had no idea what it was at first, nor where it came from. I rubbed the remaining sleep from my eyes. Once I was done and could concentrate more fully on the sound, I realized it was coming from my window. _My window? _The curtains hanging over my window muffled the sound, keeping it a mystery to me. I was so curious as to what had me waking up in the middle of the night. Normally I would be irritated at the interruption of sleep, but I had to know. My feet carried me to the open window, my hand inches away from pulling the curtain back to see what was going on outside. I stopped when I realized that soft music was floating up to my ears. Then the vocals joined in, and I knew...

* * *

***runs away laughing evilly*  
next chapter is EPOV *gasp* which will be out much sooner. much much sooner  
if you're happy and you know it click "review" *click click* (god i've had way too much caffeine to wake up up after...4 hrs of sleep *yawn*)  
oh and i'll be putting a link in my profile to the tat that served as inspiration to bella's tat (thanks again to kathy who helped me find a non vag looking orchid. bwahaha)**


	37. Chapter 36

**a/n: still not smeyer**

**sorry to those of you who i told would get an update on sunday. i got busy and couldn't finish typing this out, plus i had other things i wanted to add as edward spoke to me (aka cried like a little bitch. don't worry i comforted him thoroughly)  
thanks again to bellaslover for giving me the male perspective. even if edward was a little bitch to me, he didn't want to sound girly to all you sexy ladies. he's a man. real men cry...right?  
and always muchas gracias and erotic spanks for mskathy for being my unofficial official PT beta. i love mah future gay bf.  
i haven't pimped in awhile. and i really need to.  
my homegirl lipsmacked writes, IMO, the best AU fic where Bella and Vampward push their boundaries before their wedding. It's called Baby Steps. Read and review bc that girl deserves love.  
also, Behind Enemy Lines by adorablecullens is such an amazing fic. it's now complete (besides an epilogue i think) and it is so effing good. i fangirl over it. srsly, it is so. effing. good. read it and you will fall in love with balticward, i guarantee it. **

**now, let's take it back some...with what i think you have been waiting for...at least for the most part *evil grin***

**EPOV**

I never planned on this happening… any of this.

I wasn't supposed to meet a girl.

Get distracted.

Fall in love.

Fear which schools accepted me because it could take me away from the girl.

Despise myself for following the dream I had carried with me for as long as I could remember.

Attending Johns Hopkins wasn't my dream anymore; Bella was. She was my past, my present, but no longer my future. All because I left her. Like the big fuck up I am, I left her.

Why did I leave her? _Why_? Bella told me she wanted to come with me. At the airport, as I tried to gently end things with her, she was so insistent about coming with me. Every time I tried to tell her, she interrupted about everything she'd have to do in order to get to Maryland. Every time her mouth opened to state her annoyance at what she had to do, my heart broke.

So I told her that I didn't want her to come with me. It was the biggest fucking lie I had ever told in my life. I wanted nothing more than for her to come with me. But she couldn't…because she only _thought _she knew what she wanted. I didn't think she should come with me because I refused to allow her to give up on her own dream just for me… for someone so unworthy of her love and devotion. Deep down, I knew that what she needed was to stay, or she may grow to resent me in the future.

But any thoughts of our relationship ending amicably flew out the window. She would fight me, I knew it. The fact that she would fight for us made me hurt even more, because deep down I wanted her to. But I had to be strong, cut things off…rip the band aid off quickly so to speak. If I could make a clean break, it would hopefully not hurt her as bad. I never wanted to hurt Bella.

The only problem was, after telling her that I did not want her to come with me, Bella mistook my words for rejection.

"_You…don't…want…me?" _

I was completely shocked. She thought I didn't want her? How could she think that? I had never wanted someone as much as her, and never would. My eyes flew to her face, bewildered at how quickly she could dismiss my feelings.

"_No. I…" _I began, but stopped short when I saw her expression. There was so much hope there…hope and desire and trust. If I told her that I still wanted her, she'd never let me go out there alone.

"_You what, Edward?"_

I still want you.

I still love you.

Come with me.

Even though you shouldn't.

"_I should've done this a long time ago." _I should have broken things off the minute I discovered I was accepted into my dream school. Only I was afraid that if I did that, and still saw her every day with my family and friends, it would be too hard to stay away. "_This relationship was a bad idea from the beginning." _I had to take a moment to stop. My thoughts were everywhere. My brain was telling me one thing and my heart another. "_You were a bad idea…"_

That was definitely not what I had meant to say. I wanted to tell her how _I _was a bad idea. _I _was the one who was making all the mistakes. I was never good enough for her, especially knowing that I would have to leave some day. But once the words were out there, there was no taking them back.

So I watched as the most beautiful face I had ever laid eyes on crumpled in pain. I could almost see the heartbreak; that complicated, vital organ shattering into pieces too small to fit back together.

I could not let it show that mine had done the same. Perhaps it had hardened, turned to stone, stopped beating. She was the reason for my heart's movement. Without her, why would such a thing need to function…to exist? I would leave it with her anyway.

Obviously I should've just stayed at NU. For some reason I thought I needed to go to the "school of my dreams" in order to live the life I wanted. That if I did not attend Johns Hopkins, my life would be incomplete.

I thought a clean break with Bella would spare both of us unnecessary pain. So I chose to leave for Maryland early, an internship of sorts that Carlisle set up with an old friend. I could focus on learning more about the school there, about field work, and ultimately lose myself in thoughts other than Bella.

Bella's hair.

Bella's eyes.

Bella's lips.

Bella's scent.

Bella's body.

Bella's love.

It didn't work though. All of my thoughts surrounded Bella. There was no escaping her presence. Bella was embedded in my mind no matter how I tried to lose myself in work. My focus was gone. My drive to succeed completely disappeared. How could this be what I wanted when I felt so horrible all the time?

_Hindsight is 20/20, isn't it?_

It had been three weeks since I'd left Bella at the airport and my entire world as I knew it had slipped away. Bella had called obsessively the first week I was gone. Each time my phone rang out I cringed. My hand snaked out, to betray what my mind was commanding: _Don't answer_. My heart wanted to rule me, make me answer. I had sufficiently hurt it enough, bludgeoned it close to death.

So my hand always stayed, obeying.

The first messages made me break down in tears. She hadn't realized that no one knew of our break up. She didn't know what to tell Alice; neither did I. When she called back to apologize for telling me she loved me? I felt my heart tear right down the middle. Bella should never be sorry she loved me.

She called later to tell me she had stayed strong all through the wedding because she couldn't bear to ruin her dad's day. She didn't want him to hate me unjustly, but he should. I tore his daughter's heart out right before she would be celebrating a happy occasion…_his _wedding.

_God, Bella..._

The most loving, thoughtful, selfless woman. Even after what I did, she still cared more about me than herself. _Why? Why should she love me so much?_ _I am a monster_.

Other messages were harder, most of them containing little to no speech, just Bella's soft cries. I joined her through those messages, gut literally wrenching, retching with the powerful sobs that escaped me. I cried more often and harder in these past weeks than I had ever in my entire life. Nothing inside me told me I was less of a man for the tears I shed. It was all for Bella. If I could not give her my love, I could at least give her my tears, even if she'd never see them, never know how hard this was on me.

The calls turned to texts, and then eventually she stopped contacting me at all.

Which worried me.

_She wouldn't do anything rash would she?_

I called Alice, who was beyond furious, and begged her to check on Bella. Alice yelled at me for over an hour, stating that she _had_ been checking up on Bella and what exactly did I think she would be doing since they were friends, just _ditch_ her in her time of need? She would _never _hurt Bella like that.

Ouch. Alice knew how to cut deep.

She informed me that Bella was doing as well as could be hoped. I relaxed at the news, if only marginally.

To comfort myself, I sought solace in a place I had not turned to for some time. _Music. _The dusty keyboard was wiped clean and used more in those three weeks than it had been in three years.

Music poured from my fingers like water. I couldn't help but think of Bella as I played. Somehow it eased my ache. I didn't tell Bella the truth, the depth of my feelings when I left, but I could do so here, even if she never heard the notes.

The music described us. From the organized chaos that was our beginning to slow hesitant arpeggios of our new relationship. Then with powerful swells to attest our love and physical intimacy, but the music turned melancholy. Beautiful but sad, bitterly so. Each time I played, the song ended abruptly, no clear resolution, just chords lingering in the air.

Because that's what happened, wasn't it? I had cut things off too soon.

--

I didn't want to be here anymore and everyone knew it. The hospital staff wondered if I was ill, so dark were the circles under my eyes and so pale the skin stretched across my bones. Other students, planning ahead like me, whispered behind my back. They all said the same thing, that I wasn't cut out for such a grueling program.

Hearing my family was the worst though. Emmett had threatened to come out and kick my ass if I didn't come back soon and make Bella better. I hadn't actually believed him until I heard Rose in the background on the phone with the airlines. Alice called every single day. I suspected she was doing the same with Bella, trying to keep us close in any way possible, even if it was only through our mutual connection to her. Carlisle was so disappointed in me. I could hear it in his voice. He told me he would never push me to do something I was not ready for. Esme begged me to come home, to right the wrong I had done. She was crying almost as hard as I had been on the phone. Only, she couldn't hear me. The only evidence of my crying came from the full body shaking as silent sobs overtook me.

But Bella wasn't in Evanston. She wasn't even in the state of Illinois. She had stayed in Forks. No doubt because of me.

Then Carlisle called me out of the blue.

"_Edward, enough is enough. It's time you leave and go get her. I think you're ready now."_

"Dad she doesn't want…"

"_Of course she wants you son. Stop beating yourself up so much. Go to her and beg her to take you back."_

"Dad she doesn't deserve to be with someone who won't be around. School and interning will keep me from her. I can't do that, ask her to sacrifice so much."

"_Are you that blind? Do you not see she _wants _to do that? Bella would follow you to the ends of the earth."_

"Dad, I…"

"_Listen, Edward. You don't think I look back and regret the times I missed with your mother? That I left her by herself too often, to care for you and your siblings with little to no help because I was caring for other people's families instead? But I did what I did because I felt it was right. Yes, we had to work hard to stay together. We struggled, we fought, but we made it. If you love someone so strongly, you find strength to do what needs to be done. Do you understand that?"_

I sat and listened to everything my father had to say. He had been through all of this before. How could I think that I was the only person ever to face the dilemma I was in? He was so insistent that Bella did want me, that she really did want to be wherever I was. We could work this out if we tried hard enough, worked hard enough.

"Yes."

And all of a sudden, I did understand. It was as if the thick fog clouding my judgment had finally lifted all the way.

Things were finally beginning to make sense to me. After three weeks of being emotionally worn down, I realized how completely fucked up my logic had been. The pain felt on all sides of this situation was caused by _me_. The stupidity of not discussing our future more thoroughly was a result of _my _avoidance. The fear of the unknown that had caused the stupidity was all on me - my stupid, unfounded fears. Bella had tried to tell me that she wanted to stay with me, I just chose not to listen.

"_So what are you waiting for?"_

I didn't worry about really packing. Clothes weren't necessary. If need be, I'd buy some. I only brought the one thing I needed, checking the awkward item on arrival. I was on a flight heading to Washington before nightfall.

--

I got in late, the flight seemingly taking years before touchdown in Seattle. There was no silver Volvo to take me speedily towards Bella. I had to settle on a silver Ford Focus that, if I squinted hard enough, _kind of _looked like my car. The drive to Forks was not much quicker. If I didn't know better, I'd say it took days to finally get there.

I checked in to a small inn outside Forks, but I couldn't sleep. I decided to find Charlie's house. I wanted to make sure Bella was indeed staying there. As I approached the small traditional, I slowed, noticing the soft glow of light coming through a window on the side of the house.

_That would be perfect._

I sat in my rental car on the opposite side of the street, waiting until I saw the light go off. Sure she was sleeping, I drove back to my small room to allow myself the same privilege. Hopefully this time tomorrow I would have Bella with me, in my arms, where she belonged. I just needed her to forgive me first.

The next day dawned bright and sunny, something I wasn't expecting based on Bella's descriptions of the small town. I drove back towards Bella's house, parking a few blocks away, just in case. I stayed hidden behind a wall of branches and bushes, watching as Bella, slight smile on her angel's face, stepped outside to drink in the sun's rays.

Her skin was glowing. God, she was gorgeous. My dreams fell short of her real beauty.

I watched with rapt attention as she lay down on a blanket to read. I moved in closer to try and catch what book it was. I didn't recognize it by the dark cover, though judging by her facial expressions, she was really into it. So engrossed was she, that when her phone rang next to her, she jumped. I almost chuckled out loud at how adorable she was, but then I remembered I was trying to stay out of sight.

Shit, if anyone saw me, they'd either think I was casing the joint or was some perverted peeping Tom.

_Well I was kind of guilty on both counts, wasn't I?_

To my immense displeasure, Bella hurried back into the house. Out of nowhere a small VW Rabbit came pulling up to the house. A tall boy with long, black hair stepped out of the car. Instantly recognizable, despite the fact that the one and only time I'd seen him had been through a web camera…

_Jacob Black._

He knocked on the door, tapping his foot impatiently. As soon as Bella opened the door, the boy pulled her into a bone crushing hug. I saw her wince and slap him until he let go. Her hand went to her side, touching a spot by her ribcage tenderly.

_Did that dog hurt her? I'll fucking kill him if he did!_

I stared on as the boy led her into his small, rusty car. _That hunk of metal had nothing on the Volvo. _My mind just could not even fathom the idea that my Bella could be on a date with him.

_But she isn't _my _Bella anymore, is she?_

Shaking that thought away, I waited until they were out of sight before flat out running to my car. The urge to follow was undeniable. I made sure to keep a safe distance so as not to give myself away as not only a peeping Tom but a stalker as well.

The car headed towards the freeway, speeding up once it reached the three lanes. My mind worried for Bella's safety, not knowing how well the boy could drive. He probably just barely acquired his license. I continued to allow a few cars between us, though never losing sight of the rusted car carrying the most precious cargo inside. A sign indicated the exit for a town named Port Angeles, and I watched the Rabbit change lanes to get off there. Many cars followed suit, and I assumed the town was either rather populous or a popular attraction for tourists.

I followed the car and found myself entering a small downtown area. I decided this part of Port Angeles, at least, was dedicated for those who did not reside here. It seemed the sunshine had brought everyone out today. Pedestrians were walking out between cars, into crosswalks or in the middle of the street, and I found myself having to stop several times in order to let them pass. I felt panic rise up in my chest as I no longer saw the Rabbit in front of me.

Cursing, I weaved in and out of traffic as effectively as I could. Mothers with their children in strollers glared as I raced through the crowded streets. The speed limit was only 15 mph and I was going…well, much faster than that. I ventured down streets that held small cafes, a theater, other souvenir shops, and every other tourist trap possible. Nothing. I even spotted a bookstore several blocks out of the way during my perusal of the small town. If I knew Bella, and I'd like to think that I did, she would want to visit there. But as I pulled up to the bookstore, I noticed it probably didn't hold the kind of books Bella would choose to read. _Another dead end. _

I drove on for several more minutes, panic starting to sink in. _Where could they be? _I started widening my search circle, venturing towards the less frequented parts of town. After rounding a corner I finally spotted it, the VW Rabbit that had eluded me for far too long. Bella and the boy, however, were not inside. After a split second of indecision, I decided to park and walk around the area to try and spot them inside one of the local businesses. _Though I can't imagine what they would be doing down here. _

Leaving a less than ideal tavern, I spotted long mahogany hair a block away from where I was. The Jacob boy was still at her side, leading her through the increasing crowd as they entered the more popular part of town, with his hand on her lower back. I growled as I took in the sight before me, speeding up so I could keep an eye on them. Quickly guessing where they were headed, I turned off onto a different street. As soon as I was alone I broke into a run, wanting to cross back over and pass by the two of them.

They must have stopped to window shop some, because I found myself approaching the intersection at the same time as they did, even though I was hoping to reach it just after they passed it. Bella was looking straight ahead and I was suddenly very nervous for her to see me. How would I explain my presence?

_Bella, I made a mistake so I decided to come out to Forks and beg you to forgive me and take me back. How did I know you were in Port Angeles? Oh, well you see, it's kind of funny. I was staring at you while you read outside and just so happened to see this kid come pick you up and drive you away. I decided to follow you guys. That's not weird, right?_

Yeah right. That was not how I had planned things. She couldn't see me yet. My feet picked up the pace, carrying me past them and down a side street, hopefully out of view. When I thought I had gotten far enough from the main road, I turned to look behind me. No Bella. I was both relieved and disappointed. Honestly, I didn't want her to see me yet. Tonight. Tonight would be the time to redeem myself, when she would hopefully see my regret and tell me she still loved me as much as I loved her.

--

The day had been so long. I caught up with Bella and Jacob shortly after my scare. He kept dragging her around town. Every time Bella asked to rest, slightly rubbing her feet once she had a seat, I winced. What the fuck was this kid playing out? She was tired. She definitely needed to go home. The sooner she got home, the sooner I could set my plan into action.

_But what if he doesn't leave? What if she invites him inside?_

My stomach churned at the thought. She wouldn't. She didn't like him like that. How many times had Bella told me she thought of him as a brother? And none of her actions gave off the "more than friends" vibe. I had to try and stay calm, relaxed, and have faith that she did not want the boy.

I followed them back into Forks, not distancing myself as much as I should have. I was too anxious. The sooner we got back to Bella's, the sooner Jacob would leave, the sooner I could beg for forgiveness. The Rabbit pulled into the driveway as I passed by the house quickly, hoping not to get noticed. I parked a few blocks over and doubled back towards Bella's as fast as my tired feet could carry me.

Bella was being led to her front door by the boy, his arm wrapped around her shoulders as he pressed her close to his side. Another growl was threatening to escape me, but I was too close, back behind the safety of the bushes and branches, and could be overheard; it was such a quiet night. Just as Bella was stepping up onto her porch, I saw her stumble and head towards the ground. On instinct my body lurched forward, wanting to catch her and keep her from harm. Before I could step out and give myself away, that stupid boy wrapped his arms around Bella and pulled her back onto her feet. He kept his arms around her a little too long for my liking. Bella must have been thinking the same as she tried to remove herself from his hold.

Jacob looked like he was in a daze, and I prayed to God it wasn't because of how close Bella's beautiful body had just been to his overly hormonal teenage one. I could just barely make out Bella's expression. She looked nervous at first. Her head tilted down and I wondered what she was looking at. When her head came back up I saw fear in her eyes. Words left the boy's mouth, though I couldn't quite make them out. Bella's expression turned bewildered as Jacob's hand traveled to her neck.

_Don't touch her._

But his hand didn't stop to caress her or anything. His hand gripped onto something and pulled it away from Bella's body. The outside light on Bella's house caught the item in Jacob's hand, causing a faint glimmer to reach my eyes. Was that…

_My necklace?_

She was wearing it still. I had told her to never take it off, and she had kept the promise. That must mean…

"SO?!" Jacob's loud voice carried over to me unmistakably.

Bella looked taken aback and I wanted nothing more than to run over there and pull him away from her. No one should talk to Bella like that.

"SO?!" He repeated again. If he wasn't careful I was going to knock that fucker out. "Why does he deserve your promises? Bella he…is a piece of shit. The minute he left you at the airport, you should've ripped that necklace off and thrown it away. Why didn't you?" His words made me stop all thoughts. They were true.

_I am a piece of shit. I do not deserve her. She could do so much better than me._

Before I could fall even deeper into my own self loathing, I saw tears start to gently streak down Bella's cheeks. If I were where Jacob was, my hands would surely go up to cup her beautiful cheeks, thumbs wiping away the tears before they fell too far.

Jacob continued questioning Bella's reason for wearing my necklace. I was probably more anxious to hear the answer, only I couldn't hear Bella. Her voice was so quiet that it did not reach my straining ears. I saw her shake her head slowly. Her eyes went up to Jacob's and she started to speak again. Her voice was growing louder, clearer in her conviction.

"…still love him."

There was no way to describe how I felt in that moment. Time had frozen for me, despite Bella and Jacob still conversing outside her door. Jacob left as Bella walked inside and shut the door. And I… I was still standing stock still, overcome with emotions. She had told him she still loved me. _She still loves me! _I was so happy. No, happy wasn't strong a enough emotion for it. I was on fucking cloud nine, flying high. I was so elated from her words. My heart wanted to explode from the joy I felt, and a handful of other expressions that probably made me sound stupid and girly. But they were true. I could not deny how I was just all around pleased at what she had just admitted.

Jacob was long gone and Bella was in her room. Her light was only on for minutes before being turned off again. I didn't know if that meant she had gone downstairs for something, or if she had gone to bed. It wasn't too late, but she had a long day in Port Angeles, I could see her going straight to bed. My Bella needed her sleep.

_That's right, she is _my _Bella. No one else. Because she still loves me._

I walked towards the house, glad for the curtains drawn across her window. She wouldn't see me if she happened to look out the window. I leaned against the siding, waiting and watching. I wanted to make sure she was in her room. Waking her up was probably less than ideal. _Bella was always grumpy when she didn't get her rest. _I laughed, almost out loud, at the thought of a very irate and sleepy Bella. My smile widened when I thought that I could be so lucky to see that side of her soon. I was fucking giddy from Bella's words.

After I was sure she was in her room, no noise or light coming from any of the lower portion of the house, I hurried to my car. Popping the trunk before I got there, because I did not want to waste another minute, I threw myself at the heavy keyboard inside. Adrenaline was coursing through me with the anticipation of what I was about to do. The heavy instrument was light as a feather as I jogged back to the side of Bella's house. I set up the stand and placed my sole source of comfort for the past three weeks on top.

I rolled my neck, cracked my fingers and tried to shake off the nervous energy that was suddenly rushing through my body. The high I was on just moments ago was gone. She had said she loved me, but what if it was too little, too late? I couldn't believe how quickly my emotions had changed from being so sure and excited to questioning and nervous.

_Deep breath, Cullen. You can do this._

My fingers went to the familiar keys, lightly running over them to familiarize myself. After _several more _deep breaths I began to play. I had chosen a song that would be recognizable to Bella, by a band we both liked, and that held meaning to our current situation. My eyes flickered up to the window, hoping to see her beautiful, small hand part the curtain and see me below. There was no movement.

_She's probably still asleep._

Lyrics that I had long since memorized came out of my mouth, the words feeling heavy on my tongue as I poured my emotions out into song. As I sang, raindrops began to fall slowly, hitting the top of my head and shoulders, a few grazing my knuckles as I played on. But there was still no Bella at the window. I stared up at it until the rain fell harder, blurring my vision. My lids slid closed, not needing to look in order to play. I felt the song so strongly, a deeper meaning urging me to continue to play and sing; sing my heart out to the one woman who owned me, body and soul.

My voice grew in volume and intensity as I neared the part of the song that meant the most to me. Here was my apology, here was my heart for Bella to either accept or reject. It was no longer raining outside, but pouring as a strong wind came in and carried my words hopefully up to Bella's ears.

_She couldn't still be asleep, could she?_

The hair that Bella loved to touch so much fell in my face, plastered against my skin and just being generally annoying. But I didn't dare stop to swipe it out of the way. I could handle the discomfort of the rain and hair for her. As long as she heard my words and knew it was the truth I sang to her.

I was nearing the end of the song. I peeked out of one eye to gaze up at the window. Still no Bella there. Not even the glow of a light came through. I was getting worried now.

_You're still all that matters to me._

My fingers hovered over the last chord, completely lost and feeling so fucking alone. My fears were being confirmed as Bella continued to ignore me, because what else could explain her absence? I did not believe she could sleep through that song. There was no way. She had to have heard me but chose to deny me her presence.

_It wasn't good enough you fool. You hurt her so bad. Going all Lloyd Dobler on her was not fucking good enough. _

Somewhere, in the depths of my despair, I realized that I had begun to play the piece composed for Bella. I had played it so many times that I did not even need to think about the movements of my fingers. My thoughts swirled around Bella and how I would never have her again. I felt the familiar tingling in my eyes and hated myself for crying as my tears mixed together with the rain. At least if someone saw me they wouldn't know any better.

Again I was reaching the end of my song to Bella. I must have, somewhere deep inside, been hoping Bella would come out once she heard a song she did not recognize. Maybe I was hoping she'd somehow know it was about her. But one final glance up to her window told me she was not coming, and again I played the last chord to a song that would only ever represent the woman inside of this house. The "end" came and went, leaving me feeling as confused and unresolved as the song did. I didn't know where to go from here. I didn't know how I would live my life knowing that I had fucked up the best thing that had ever happened to me. I only knew one thing.

Bella did not forgive me. Bella did not want me.

_Too little, too late._

_

* * *

_

**please, have a heart. tell me your heart aches just a little bit for edward...please? maybe you can love him again?**

**i'd just like to add in a quick .02 here: the thing with alice and bella. what you don' see in the last chapter are the rest of their conversations. alice doesnot just focus on trying to help bella realize edward still loves her. most of their convos happen like you'd expect, alice letting bella vent and bashing edward for being a complete douchebag. but the important parts are what got written in. bc that is what bella needs to hear most. **

**and...sorry if you continue to think i'm evil. you won't find out what song edward is singing til next chapter, when you see it thru bpov. it's better that way. trust me. i'll be posting the song tho on the twilighted thread for PT before the next chapter is up (not just yet but soon). so maybe you can pay a visit and check it out. otherwise you'll just have to wait :)**

* * *


	38. Chapter 37

**not smeyer. you know this.  
****a/n: i got wordy. i had to break up the chapter. it should be coming to you tomorrow night as i won't have time on wednesday. extra special thanks to mskathy for staying up later than she was supposed to in order to read thru this. i cannot post PT without her supah masta beta skills as i have grown so accustomed to her opinion. she is definitely gettin some sbux for it. love ya beyotch. and sorry i made you cry :(  
fyi: words that are both italicized and in quotes are the lyrics Edward sings. just italicized words are Bella's thoughts.**

**oh shit! i almost forgot...like srsly was a click of a button away from posting before i realized that i hadn't posted the song. duh. omg...*deep breath* you really should go to youtube or d/l this song bc IMO it makes the scene that much better. this is the scene that has played out in my mind from basically day one. guh what it does to me.  
chapter song is:  
"I'll Catch You" by the get up kids. (word to the wise...if you go to youtube for the song..i recommend not watching the vid as there is a very very emo one that will prob just make you even more depressed. the point of this chapter is to get us to happier times!). and as much as i really wanted to post all the lyrics to the song...i restrained myself. i know that gets annoying. so if you don't watch/listen to the song, might i suggest at least looking up the full lyrics? they are not all 100 percent applicable, but you get the idea.**

**When last we saw Bella… **

* * *

_My feet carried me to the open window, my hand inches away from pulling the curtain back to see what was going on outside. I stopped when I realized that soft music was floating up to my ears. Then the vocals joined in, and I knew..._

"_Can you sleep as the sound hits your ear one at a time…"_

There was no mistaking that voice. No one on Earth could compare to how beautiful that voice sounded to me; how that voice made me feel every time I heard it. There was no forgetting the rich timbre and smooth texture, how even in everyday speech there was a lilt that sounded musical.

_Edward._

My heart lurched and my breath caught in my throat as he continued singing. The words rolled off his tongue, ringing with a conviction that I hoped was sincere.

"_That I should stare at receivers to receive her isn't fair."_

_Am I dreaming? He can't really be here outside my window. Because if Edward _is _here, singing me _this_ song, then that would mean…_

My brain couldn't even finish that thought. Just in case I was wrong or this really was a dream, my brain was trying to protect me from further pain.

Instead of throwing the curtains back so he'd see me, I stayed hidden, gazing down at Edward through the space between window and fabric. I didn't want him to see me, not yet, not now. But I did want to watch him.

A full moon hung low in the sky, illuminating the scene before me. Edward's skin looked ghostly pale in the wash of moonlight. His face was cast down as his long, skilled fingers moved slowly and smoothly along the keys. I got lost in the sight of his fingers; how they caressed each black and white key, much like they had done to my skin.

More than anything I wanted to see his face. I had missed those intense green eyes, the straight nose sloping down to a set of perfect lips, made even better whenever they slid into that crooked smile. Only there was no lopsided grin playing on his face, just lips opening to allow sound to come out; a determined look on his face.

As if he could read my thoughts, Edward looked up at my window. His usually clean shaven face was covered with at least a week's worth of stubble, bordering full on beard status. I had only ever seen him go a few days without shaving, the worst being when he was studying for the MCATs. It was surprisingly _sexy. _I willed the thought away as much as possible. Now was not the time.

His eyes glowed under the moonlight and seemed to pierce straight through the fabric. The determined look had changed to something almost fierce and so much more than intense. If I hadn't known the curtain was blocking his view, I would have sworn he was looking right at me.

"_Don't worry I'll catch you. Don't ever worry."_

Clouds were starting to roll in quickly, a sure sign of a storm on the move. I could hear the soft pattering of rain drops as they hit the roof. Edward was still staring up at my window, despite the light rain falling gently into his eyes.

"_Your arms in mine anytime."_

At this point the rain had started falling faster to the damp earth below. Edward's eyes slid closed but his head remained tilted up towards where I stood, as if trying to stay connected to me regardless of whether he could see or not. Dark spots began to bleed through his clothes where each drop struck him.

"_Wouldn't trade anything. You're still my everything."_

I felt tears begin to form at the corners of my eyes. Did he mean all of the lyrics? Could I still be his everything?

"_Don't worry I'll catch you. Don't ever worry."_

A peal of lightening cracked open the sky, letting out a torrent of rain. The tone of the music had changed, forceful and passionate. Mother Nature was listening to Edward's plea, her storm swirling and raging around him in an expression of his song. Her tears drenched him completely, the thin grey t-shirt he wore now plastered against his well defined chest.

"_Still breaking old habits when you pulled the wool over me."_

I watched in complete wonder as Edward's face twisted in agony, eyebrows furrowed together. His face was lifted up again, eyes shut tight as the rain beat down on him. His normally bronze hair was darker from the rain and falling into his face. A few stray locks curled around his eyes, brushing his lashes. My hand twitched at my side, longing to move his hair back and away from his face.

"_I can see everything. Remembering. Jinx removing."_

Without realizing that it was moving, I noticed my hand go towards the curtain, only seconds away from pulling it back. I didn't want him to see me still. I didn't know why, only that I wasn't ready.

His fingers beat out the notes, powerful and passionate. He was always so expressive when he played. Tonight though the feelings he evoked were even stronger. Despite how horrible I had felt for the past few weeks, I hurt to see him like this. Despite the pain I was in, I never wanted Edward to be in pain.

As the music began to slow and soften, so did Edward's appearance. His forehead smoothed out as he continued with the chorus. I thought I could see his face silently pleading through the notes he played.

"_Don't worry I'll catch you. Don't ever worry."_

He opened one eye briefly as he looked up to my window, looking anxious and almost expectant, but he didn't see me. I felt a new ache in my heart as I watched his head bow down and his shoulders hunch as he sang out the last two lines of the song.

"_No need for reminding. You're still all that matters to me."_

The last chord rang with a certain… finality. Almost like punctuation to the end of one long poignant statement. They seemed to solidify a feeling of remorse, at least that's how I interpreted things. The notes played on until fading out, being carried away by the wind.

Now that the song was over, my heart and mind were left to war against each other. I had felt every single word Edward had sang. Each word was so strong, so true, and so seemingly honest that I almost forgot what he had done to me. I almost forgot that he had left me at the airport.

Almost. But not quite.

_Does he honestly think he can sing one song and all will be well? Fuck. That._

_Just go down to him. _

_No. He doesn't deserve your attention._

_But look at him! He's hurting! He's in pain! Don't you feel bad leaving him down there in the rain after _that?

_I hope he _does _feel bad. Don't you think he _deserves _it after how he hurt you?_

_He made a mistake._

_Right, by being with you._

_No! That was a lie. Can't you see that? He still loves you. He never stopped!_

The declaration my heart had made to my brain made me stop everything. Even my heart seemed to still as I let that thought sink in. _He still loves you. He never stopped. _Did I really believe that? I didn't want to, not after what he did. But just like that, words I remembered spoke to me behind closed eyes.

"_Don't you see Bella? All this time, my life was missing that one crucial piece - you." _He had admitted that to me even before we started dating. He was so sure of his feelings even then, despite believing that I did not return them.

"_Isabella Marie Swan. I love you." _That was the first time he had told me he loved me, at least that I heard, just after the run in with Laurent over Thanksgiving.

"_Don't worry love, I was made for you and you for me." _How he eased my mind just before the first time we had made love.

"_No, Bella, you don't understand. That was my first time making love to a woman. You are the only woman I have ever made love to, because you are the only woman I have ever loved." _The thought of that revelation brought more tears to my eyes. I had cried then, too. Now it was so much more overwhelming after all we had been through.

"_I fully intend on keeping you by my side at all times." _New Year's Eve had been a night of romance as Edward showed me just how much he loved me.

"_You are my life now, Bella." _I wanted that statement to be true, even now after the breakup and weeks of being separated.

"_Bella. I love you." _Even in his sleep he told me so.

"_Good. Because, Bella? All I want is for us to be together like this. No matter the time or the place. Just you and me love, forever." _He had whispered the "forever" part so quietly I didn't know if he planned on me hearing it. But I did. And right now it was adding to all of his uttered words of love and devotion.

"_I love you so much. Do you know that?" _That was shortly before he had distanced himself from me, leading to our eventual breakup. Looking back it almost seemed as if he was saying it to reassure me, in case something came up that could call his love for me into question. And hadn't that happened?

All of a sudden Edward's voice morphed into the high breathy one of my best friend. Alice.

"_He's doing this because he thinks it's best for you. Doesn't make it right... but deep down he had your best intentions at heart."_

"_What about all the times he told you he loved you? What about the time you spent together, the things you shared?"_

"_I think he loved you even back then."_

"_Love at first sight Bella. It exists."_

"_Edward told me the next day. You have no idea how long he had wanted to tell you. And when he finally did and you said it back? Bella, I had never seen him happier. He was practically _glowing, _and that is not even a term I like to use to describe men. But he was, because you loved him. Don't tell me that just suddenly went away for him, because it didn't."_

Every conversation I had with Alice after my break up had resulted in either me yelling at Alice or crying as I hung up the phone. I was mad at her, mad that she was not being as sympathetic as I had wanted her to be. Sure she was comforting in other ways, but a true friend wouldn't have recalled all of the beautiful memories Edward and I had created together…memories that were so dangerously close to being tainted with how things ended.

"_So…deep down I think you know he still loves you. Why else would you get something permanently marked on your body that reminds you of him?"_

Did I know that deep down? My heart began to race in my chest as I thought through everything.

"_Why are you so quick to deny it Bella? After all he did? How can you second guess all that he did, all that he said to you, because of a few stupid sentences?"_

Alice's words struck me hard. He had done so many things right in our relationship. His words, his actions, his whole demeanor towards us as a couple were all ways to proclaim a love I had always felt. I was quick to deny everything because of fear of more rejection, of more pain. Yet there Edward stood, outside my window, having just sung me a beautiful song. He had sung to me and I stayed hidden, rejecting him in my own way because I was still hurting. While I felt I had every right to _not _go to him, I still wanted to. Because I still loved him. And I knew, after a time, I would forgive him.

I was done thinking, letting my mind choose my actions for me. My heart took over as I ran out of my room and down towards the front door. It wasn't enough for him to see me at my window. I wanted to go out to him. I silently thanked whatever higher power was watching over me as I sailed down the steps without faltering once. I had to skid to a stop as I got to the door.

Music was once again reaching my ears. The song was not recognizable to me though. I peered through the small window cut out of the front door to see Edward, fingers once again moving across the keys. If I had thought Edward looked intense before, it was nothing compared to his face now.

As he played the beginning of the song, his face was hard and stern. I could feel frustration, confusion, bewilderment in each note that he played. It reminded me of how we had first met; from the moment he first saw me in the lecture, Edward had given off the impression of resentment.

Luckily we got to know each other before any real anger could be felt towards one another. As I thought back to how fun it had been catching Edward in a lie, bringing him Panera soup when he was "sick," I noticed the song change tones. It sounded more playful and upbeat.

Before my eyes, I watched as Edward transformed along with the music. His lips curled slightly, curving up into a hint of the crooked smile I loved best. He was enjoying this part of the piece. I was too as I could only see the two of us as we began to realize how we felt, what our true feelings were.

My heart swelled as he continued playing, feeling love and happiness course through his fingertips and transmitting through the sounds coming from his keyboard. My mind took me back to how much we enjoyed being together. We loved so deeply and completely. When we were both stripped down between the sheets, we moved together as one person. It was beautiful and just… right.

When the song took on a more melancholy feel, I was positive this was a song about us. Edward had composed something to express our relationship. I was overwhelmed. When had he found time to write such an elaborate piece? Wasn't he busy getting ready for med school?

Wanting to find out, I opened the door and stepped outside. Edward's head was still down, eyes closed as his fingers moved slower and slower across the keys. The sound of the rain drowned out my footsteps as I walked along the porch. The ground was so soft and muddy that there was no way Edward would know I was approaching him. My mouth opened and closed several times to make my presence known, but I couldn't interrupt. I wanted to know how Edward would play out the remainder of the song. How did he see our relationship? Would it surge forward, minor turning into major to indicate a positive feel? Or would he let it fade out into nothing? I was nervous because however he chose to end this piece…would quite possibly spell out our own relationship.

Edward did not choose either of the paths I had conjured up. Instead, the music seemed to just stop, mid thought, without any hope for an ending; whether it be happy or sad. His head fell slowly, gracefully down to where his hands were resting on the keyboard. His knees were bent and shaking ever so slightly. Was it the cold? Or the weight of something intangible that caused him to buckle under the pressure?

"How does it end?" I had finally found my voice. I needed to know.

Edward's head popped up violently when he heard me. His eyes were wide, wet lashes clinging together from what I assumed was the rain. _He couldn't have been crying, right? _

"I-I-I don't know." His eyes turned down, staring at hands that were now wringing together in apparent unease.

"Happy or sad?"

This time his gaze moved up to my face slowly. He was searching my face for something, but of what I couldn't say. Was he hoping to see forgiveness in my eyes? Love? Impatience from me at his lack of answer?

"I don't know… yet."

"I'm sick of sad." It was a simple statement, but one hundred percent true.

"Me too." He stated the words quietly. The absolute anguish I heard in his voice tugged at me.

We stood and stared at each other for several long minutes. I was now completely soaked through like Edward. Despite it being summer, and how warm it had been earlier in the day, it was now turning unseasonably cold. The harsh wind was cutting through my wet clothes, making me shiver as if I were out in the middle of winter. I noticed Edward shiver slightly as well and the need to take care of him increased tenfold.

"You shouldn't be standing out here. You'll get sick." I turned back towards my door, left open in my haste to get out to Edward. I walked towards it, having no idea if he would follow or not. My ears could not pick up on any footsteps so I turned back to him. He was still standing at his keyboard, a look of despair radiating through every pore of his body. "Are you coming in or not?"

I was rewarded by another look of shock on his face. I had to turn away so he could not see the smile on my face. He must have crossed the lawn quicker than I thought possible because before I knew it, Edward had wrapped his arms around my waist, turning me to face him

"Oh Bella, my Bella, please forgive me. I am so sorry. I didn't mean… I never meant to hurt you. I only wanted to make things better for you. I love you. I never stopped, not ever."

I wanted to say something back but his lips crashed down on mine before I had a chance to open them. The wind was causing the rain to fall at an angle, hitting Edward's back and my face as his mouth moved against mine. The warmth I felt from him coursed through my entire body, warming me head to toe. My body melted against his as he sucked and licked at my mouth, an eager and frantic kiss that was trying to get as much as possible; as if he was trying to make up for lost time between us. His hair fell into my face as we continued to kiss, twisting with mine as the wind howled around us.

_This is too easy. You're letting him off too easy._

_Yeah, I know. So?_

_He needs to answer for this Bella. Make him explain more. You deserve that. He owes you that much at least. Right?_

_You're probably right. Damn it. _

I reluctantly pulled away from him, a hard thing to do as it felt like he was suctioned to my body. When he felt me move, Edward stopped immediately. His body tensed and his expression grew afraid.

"Please Edward, let's go inside. We need to dry off. Ok?"

All he did was nod as he tried to reach for my hand. I stepped to the side, avoiding the contact. I knew that if he touched me, I would not stay strong. What I needed now was to hold my ground. We needed to talk.

Edward followed me upstairs and to my room. I watched as his head moved back and forth, taking in all of my possessions. His hand reached out occasionally, brushing his fingers along old pictures and drawing, books and CDs, an old computer and printer… remnants of a life I had lived with Charlie.

"I'll go get us some towels."

"Ok."

He stood in the center of my room as I walked out to the linen closet. Once I was out of sight I took the opportunity to breathe in and out deeply, to try and calm my nerves. I was so scared and I didn't know why exactly. He had apologized and told me he loved me. What was left to be scared of?

_How about if he does it again?_

I realized the apparent root of my problems. There was nothing to reassure me that Edward would not try to leave me again, whether it be for my own good or not. I was hoping he could say something, do something to make the promise real. I needed to know if he could restore my confidence in him.

I grabbed two large towels and headed back to my room. Edward had not moved an inch. His eyes were trained on the door, awaiting my return with an eagerness that seemed so innocent.

"Here." I threw him the towel, afraid of getting too close.

"Bella, I…"

"Why did you do it, Edward?" _I guess there's no beating around the bush tonight._

"Because I'm an idiot." The towel was wrapped around his shoulders, not really doing anything to dry him off. His hands were gripping the cloth tightly as he spoke. "I thought I was doing you a favor Bella. I thought if I removed myself from the situation, you could carry on with the life you had planned on before you met me."

"Who put you in charge Edward?" I stepped towards him, anger boiling up inside. "Why is it that you think you know better than I do?"

"Thought." He shook his head.

"Thought?"

"I only thought I knew what was best for you. I was wrong. So fucking wrong." He sunk down so he was sitting on the ground, legs bent up to his chest. I mimicked his actions, our knees so close they were almost touching.

"Yes, you were." I was dying to touch him. My hand reached out and sat on his right knee. I gripped it hard as I continued. "How could you _think_ that Edward? I told you. I fucking told you that I wanted to be with you! And you left me. You left me at the airport as I was flying home for my father's wedding! Do you know what that did to me?"

"I listened to every single message. I read every single text. Every time I heard you cry, I cried too."

I gasped audibly. He _had _heard my messages. And cried? Then what took him so long?

"Why didn't you come sooner then?"

He shook his head.

"I thought I was doing what I wanted. I thought maybe in time the pain of leaving you would lessen. I was a fool, though, to ever think that. Eventually I realized that I would never be able to forget you and that my feelings for you would never diminish. My only hope rested on knowing that you would be happy in the path you had chosen."

"I haven't been happy since you left me Edward."

"I know that now. But I thought it would be selfish of me to make you follow me, live with a man who would be absent more than he was present."

"But I would do it Edward. I love you. I would do anything to be with you."

"And I would do anything to be with you. That's why I've withdrawn from Johns Hopkins. I'm going to attend NU's med program."

"No! Edward that's your dream! You can't give that up!"

"It's not my dream anymore. I'm not happy there. I want to stay in Evanston with you and my family."

"But you'll end up resenting me, for making you give it up."

"Oh Bella," his head shook faster, "I could _never_ begrudge you anything. That was what I was afraid of though; that you would hate me for pulling you away from the life you had built for yourself. This is my choice and I _want _to."

His hands came up to rest on mine, grabbing onto them with a softness I had missed. His thumb caressed the skin near mine. I leaned forward, wanting to be closer to his touch.

"But what if you leave me again?" I closed my eyes as I cried my fears out. My body was shaking, and I doubted it was from the cold this time. Edward's hands left mine and reached out to my shoulders. I tried to move away, but his grip tightened on me.

"No Bella, come here." His hands moved down to under my arms, hoisting me up by my armpits. He brought me over to rest in his lap, enveloping me in his strong arms. I molded myself against him, trying to get as close as humanly possible.

"You could do it again. You could, Edward. You could leave me again." I sobbed out the words, scared to death of what would happen to me if he did. I may have been surviving alright now, but that did not mean I was strong enough for this a second time around.

"Never again, love. I will never leave you again." He leaned back against my bed, bringing me with him to rest against his chest. His words were meant to reassure, but they only upset me further.

"You can't promise that! You promised me before and you broke every single one." I pushed against his chest wanting to get up and walk away, but his arms were a cage around me, keeping me firmly against his body.

"No Isabella. I didn't break every single promise. I never stopped loving you."

"You c-c-can't prove that."

His hand reached down to my neck, fingering the chain around it, much like Jake had done earlier. Only this time, I looked into a face that was full of love and hope. Edward was not mad at the sight of his necklace on me.

"Remember the night I gave this to you? I asked you to never take it off, and you promised that you wouldn't. Earlier tonight when I saw you with that… boy, I was afraid you had moved on, that I was too late to win you back. But then I saw _this _around your neck still and I knew that you still loved me. I knew that I still had a chance at loving you again, the way I wanted to."

I didn't know what to say. He had seen me outside with Jacob? How? I was opening my mouth to ask when I saw him reach down into his shirt and pulled out my necklace's partner. The white gold was the only part of him that looked well cared for, shiny and free of marks or other blemishes.

"I never took it off. Not once Bella."

"_And I had them make one for me. So I can have you close to my heart too, since you are always there." _

The words came back to me with a force strong enough to knock me over had Edward not been holding on to me so tightly. Even when he left me, he had wanted at least some small part of me with him always.

Relief and exhaustion overtook me as I buried my face in his neck. My tears mixed with the wet open mouthed kisses I placed along his skin. I breathed him in deeply, his scent soothing and relaxing my strained body.

"You can't ever…never…Edward…stay with me." My words kept getting caught in my throat.

"Shhh." He stroked the back of my hair, rocking me slightly back and forth. "Always, my love. I will stay with you always."

I don't know how long we sat like that, my legs and arms wrapped tightly around him, but I was stirred awake when Edward lifted me to a standing position.

"Bella, I'm going to find some clothes to change into. You don't mind if I borrow something from your dad right?" I shook my head no. "Why don't you change into something warmer. I'll be right back."

I hurriedly stripped off my now damp clothes. I grabbed the first items my hands came in contact with, sweatpants and another t-shirt. I dressed quickly, needing to see Edward come through my door and back to me. A few minutes passed and Edward had still not returned.

_Where is he? Did he leave? _

Panic was rising like bile in my throat as I ran out of my room and towards Charlie's. As I reached it, Edward walked out in a flannel button up and old gym shorts. They hung off his frame slightly, Charlie being a bit bigger than him.

"Bella? What's the matter?" He looked scared as he saw the tears in my eyes forming again.

"I just thought…I was worried that…"

"Come here love." He scooped me up and carried me back into my room.

He set me down in the middle of the mattress and followed shortly after, pressing right up against me. I rolled onto my side to face him, moving into his arms. He pulled me in the rest of the way, tucking my head under his chin and rubbing soothing circles against my back.

"I love you Isabella Swan."

"I love you Edward Cullen."

"Forever."

* * *

**as always, reviews are much appreciated. especially after this chapter. i'd love to know your thoughts.**


	39. Chapter 38

**not smeyer.  
****  
a/n: "this is the end, my only friend, the end." ladies and gentlemen, give it up for jim morrison...**

in all seriousness...this really is the end. last chapter (besides an epilogue that is in the works but have no set timeline as to when it will be posted).  
first i want to apologize since i said that i would update the next day and now a freakin week later it is finally going up. i was conflicted with this chapter and RL demanded some attention. not to mention i'm having a hard time letting go of this story.

if you'll indulge me for a moment...i am all weepy and sappy over this story ending. when i started it, i didn't expect any readers or reviewers. it was more of a creative outlet, a new experience to try out. but for whatever reason you started to read and review and i grew to love and obsess over each comment, whether good or bad, that got sent my way. thank you to those that have been with me from the very beginning: FolsomBoogie (my very first review), icefang7 (ever the dependable reviewer), carmelinagunn and grtchn (where i would i be if not for that piano picture). then there are some of my closest friends all thanks to ff: twilighter620, i'mwiththevamps08, arra584, acireamos, mrs. captain peroxide, gustariana, all of the PP bitches who put up with me and actually read this silly story(lipsmacked, purdueliz, tallulah remiter, my one and only cricket emmy, to name a few), my "boytoy" bellaslover (even if he doesn't really review hehe). and of course, all the new readers who took the time to review every single chapter. you guys amaze me: Lee723, Black Eyes Blood Red Lips, courtney-catastrophe, and the others who i don't have the time or space to thank. i'm sorry if i didn't respond to any reviews. i read every single one (i know that is so cliche to say, but it's true) and really do appreciate them all.  
last but not least, i must thank my one and only future gay bf, red pen wielding beta extraordinaire, mskathy. how did i ever post PT without your prior approval? say what you like, without your help these past few chapters, i may not have been able to get through the b/e breakup or their reunion. 

**and so...without further ado...i give you the last chapter of Private Tutor. **

I woke up warm and content with the smell of Edward surrounding me. Every time I breathed in, his very presence filled me. I was almost scared to open my eyes though, just in case this was all one elaborate dream.

_I hope I'm not dreaming._

"You're not dreaming love, at least not anymore." I hadn't realized I had spoken aloud. Edward's voice reached my ear, still thick with sleep. "How did you sleep?"

I slowly opened my eyes and noticed that we were lying together in the same position we had drifted off in. Edward's arms were still tightly around me, my head under his chin, legs tangled together. I wondered if we had moved at all last night. I knew that even asleep, my body wouldn't do anything that would take me away from Edward, not after how long we were apart.

"Really well," I sighed out.

"Good." Edward placed a kiss on the top of my head before shifting our bodies to look in my eyes. "I love you Bella."

My cheeks flushed at his words, a sensation I hadn't experienced in so long. I felt like I had the first time Edward told me he loved me; a little shy and a lot giddy. After believing he didn't for three weeks, Edward's "I love you" felt new and fresh; almost like starting over, though hopefully without the waiting for sex part. That had been brutal.

I lifted my right leg to rest on his hip. The action brought us even closer together, allowing me to feel a part of Edward I had truly missed. He was hard as granite in between my legs. My hips moved of their own accord, grinding against his erection ever so slightly. I was too ready for this; had missed the way Edward and I loved each other physically. Edward's fingers were digging into my skin as I moved slowly. His breathing picked up, but his body remained still against mine.

"What are you doing?" I looked up and saw both of his eyes closed tightly, his jaw clenched hard. I supposed he was using all his restraint to keep from moving with me.

"Oh, just getting comfy." I giggled as I remembered our time on the Whizzer. Those exact words had left my mouth as I moved my butt against Edward, making him come in his pants.

"Yeah, well, maybe you getting _comfy_ is a bad idea." His tone was light and joking as he finally opened his eyes to look down at me. His body even loosened up, ready to absorb the small thrust of my hips.

My body, however, tensed.

_Bad idea. You. Were. A. bad. Idea. _

"I need to take a shower." Even I could hear the flat tone of my voice. I avoided eye contact as I moved away from Edward, trying to shimmy out of his grasp and off the bed so I could get away before more tears came.

"Bella?"

"I feel dirty." Just thinking of those words coming out of his mouth at the airport were enough to make me second guess everything that had happened last night. He said he loved me still, even through all that. But how did he explain me being a bad idea? And how could I have been so willing to just let him back in my bed…in my heart? "All the rain and mud and stuff. I just want to go get clean."

"Do you want some company?" His question held no assumption, just simple inquiry.

"No."

"No?" Apparently he misread my answer, as if I were teasing him. I could hear him smile as he questioned back. There was a hint of a suggestive tone now.

"No. I don't want you to come with me." I hadn't intended on throwing his words back at him, the same words he had used to crush my heart. But they just spewed out like vomit.

I didn't give him a chance to respond. My feet took me quickly out of my room and to my bathroom. I closed the door and locked it instantly, afraid that he would try to follow. I pressed my back to the door before I slid down to the ground.

_Stupid Bella. You're so fucking stupid. How do you explain what he said at the airport? He said you were a bad idea! _

_I know. But…_

_But what? _

I had no answer to that. There was no way I could make sense of why he told me that. I was on autopilot again, turning the handle to hot so I could focus on the heat as water pounded against my skin; anything to banish the conflicting thoughts raging through me.

How had I not thought to ask him this last night? I shouldn't have let him in my bed before he explained every last word he had spoken that day. What was wrong with me?

_Complete and total emotional exhaustion. All that crying. It wiped you out. You weren't thinking right last night. You couldn't handle that conversation._

_You can now though. _

After a quick shower, I stepped out and began to dry myself off. I realized too late that in my hurry to exit the room I brought no clothes with me.

_You can't go back with just a towel around you!_

I sat on the toilet seat, contemplating what to do next: how to get back in my room, fully clothed, so Edward didn't see me practically naked, and how to bring up the rest of the worries I had. Was it beating a dead horse to ask why he had told me he didn't want me if he just spent the last night proclaiming a love that had never stopped?

_No._

Still sitting, wondering where I could find spare clothes in the house, I was interrupted by a loud knock on the door. For a split second, I thought Edward was standing outside the bathroom door, until I realized the sound was too far away. Someone was knocking on my front door.

_Wha?_

More knocking came, pounding louder and louder as I sat, confused, on my toilet. Couldn't whoever was at my door take a hint? I was obviously _not_ going to answer the door. To my horror, I heard the unmistakable squeak of the hinges on my front door. Whoever was pounding was now opening.

_But the spare key isn't outside anymore!_

_Shit. I forgot to lock the damn door last night, didn't I?_

"Bella? Are you here? I mean, I know you're here because Sue's car is in the driveway."

_%$Q#$^*#$%_

"I know Charlie made you promise, but if you don't answer, I'm coming in."

_No. Nonononono. Now is not a good time. Go away!_

"Bella, I'm really sorry about last night. I didn't mean to freak out."

_Fuck._

"Ok… I'm coming in."

I was officially trapped. Covered in only a towel, I could not go out to greet Jacob. _What the fuck is he doing here? _For whatever reason, the synapses in my brain were misfiring. I could not speak. His presence struck me dumb. So instead of calling out to him to come back later, I bit my nails in abject terror with every heavy footed thud on my stairs.

"You can't avoid me forever Bells. C'mon." Judging at how suddenly his footsteps had stopped, I guessed he was standing outside my door.

I held my breath as knocks came down against my bedroom door. Silent prayers left me, hoping somehow Edward could hear me mentally screaming at him to not open my door.

_He wouldn't, right? Because I wouldn't be knocking on my own door. And anyone else knocking would not know he was in there. _

"What the fuck? What are _you_ doing here?"

_Shit. He opened the door._

I could only imagine what it looked like; Edward in Charlie's clothes, probably completely mussed up from being outside most of the night in the storm and falling asleep before he cleaned up.

"Hi. I don't think we've been properly introduced. I'm Edward Cu.."

"Oh I know who you are, asshole."

I heard a series of odd shuffling sounds and a hard smacking noise resonating in the air. Edward's soft groan reached my ear. Without thinking, I flung open the bathroom door and raced the few feet separating me from my bedroom. I could almost feel the color drain from my face when I took in the two men before me.

Edward stood by my desk, hand covering his nose with a trickle of blood appearing between his fingers. His eyes were blazing with anger, but he made no move to go after Jacob who had clearly just punched him. Jacob. He was standing just inside my room, right hand curled tightly into a fist. His breathing was heavy, chest heaving up and down. His nostrils were flared and eyes zeroed in on Edward. Neither turned to look at me when I came in the room, too busy staring the other down.

"What's going on?" As if I didn't already have a pretty good idea.

"Bella…" Edward turned to look at me, alarm in his eyes.

His hand fell away and I could more clearly see the damage inflicted by Jacob. His nose was most likely not broken, but just badly damaged from Jacob's rather large fist. I turned to Jacob next, noticing that not a single hair on his head was out of place. Edward had not touched him. It looked as if he had no intention of striking Jacob back, otherwise he would not have been standing off to the side.

"What is going on?" My gaze was fixed on Jacob, waiting for him to acknowledge me. After what seemed like hours, Jacob glanced my way.

"I want to know why he's here." Jacob's eyes were back on Edward's, whose green ones were focused on me.

"Bella, I'm sorry. I didn't realize…"

"You don't talk to her. You don't deserve to have her listen to one word coming out of your fucking mouth."

"Jacob!" I stomped over to him, my towel held firmly in place with one hand.

"What Bella?" He spun around in a fury. "Just fucking what? Why is Edward here?"

"I came to apol…" Edward tried to interrupt with an explanation.

"I didn't ask you."

"He came to apologize." I had been keeping a close eye on Jacob up until that point. At my words, I looked over at Edward who had a look of anticipation etched on his face. He no doubt was worried after how I had left my room. "And I forgave him." Relief washed over him in a powerful surge. I had problems, issues to deal with, but I'd wait to discuss that later, when it was just the two of us.

"No." The change of tone in Jacob's voice was alarming. He had gone from loud and accusing to quiet and concerned. His eyes squinted in disbelief as he first looked at me, then Edward. "You didn't."

"I did."

Jacob turned and walked towards the door without another word. He was halfway down the stairs before I realized he was leaving. Somewhere in my mind I thought about how I should probably put some clothes on so I could run after him properly, but I also knew I didn't have time. He would be out the door, in his car and driving away before I had managed to throw on a shirt.

"Wait!" My bare feet slapped against the hardwood loudly, causing Jacob to pause at the foot of the stairs.

"I'll see you around Bella…or not. Whatever."

"Jacob don't do this." Despite how things had gone down since last night between us, I owed Jacob my gratitude. He helped me stay afloat during such a tumultuous time.

"Like I told you last night Bella, all I wanted to do was help you. No amount of me yelling or punching-which I'm not sorry about, by the way-will help you realize that you are too good for that guy."

He reached out as if to hug me, but changed his mind last second to just pat me awkwardly. _Oh right, the towel. _Jacob smiled at me weakly, trying to avoid looking anywhere but my face.

"I'm sorry Jacob. I owe you a lot."

"Yeah, well. I just hope it was worth it." His eyes bored into mine.

"Hope what was worth it?" I questioned him, desperate for my friend to stop looking at me with such disappointment.

"Edward. The pain. Everything." I still looked at him, confusion clear on my face. "You have no idea what you looked like when I picked you up at the airport. Even just recently, when you thought no one was watching, you looked so…fucking sad Bella. He left you and it broke you. And now he's here and you take him back, just like that? What happens when he leaves again?"

"He wouldn't." But even after Edward declaring he never would, I felt doubt creep into my heart.

"How can you be so sure? Was his reason for leaving you resolved?"

"Yeah…" _I think._

"Really? I mean, you didn't tell me everything that happened, but from what you did say, I don't see how you can believe that. I bet you never thought he could leave in the first place. Am I right?" I darted my eyes away so he wouldn't see that I had indeed felt that way. "So whatever he says now…how can you trust him?"

"Well…"

"I don't think there is anything you can say that will answer my question, but I guess it's not really my place to say anything. Just be careful I guess. I couldn't bear to see you like that again." Those were Jacob's parting words as he left me standing alone in the foyer, worry overtaking my once light heart.

I padded slowly up the stairs back to my room. Edward was sitting on my bed with a washcloth in hand. He must have gone looking for one to clean off the blood. That also meant he must have heard my conversation with Jacob. The fact that his eyes were cast down at his feet told me he had, in fact, heard every word.

"Bella?" I had just finished closing the door to my room when Edward spoke aloud. "Do you agree with Jacob? Can you never trust my word again?"

"Um." I didn't know what to say. Last night I had just come out and asked him, but for whatever reason, in the light of day, I was feeling more exposed and foolish. "I should probably get dressed."

I reached my dresser and pulled out a Forks High School gym uniform Charlie had gotten for me one year in hopes I'd attend school here. It was the first thing I spotted and subsequently the easiest thing to grab and run out the door with. I was at the door when I heard Edward behind me.

"No, Bella. I won't let you run away again." His hand went to close the door before I could slip outside, holding it in place. I felt trapped against the door, even though Edward was a comfortable distance away from me. "Please talk to me."

"I…" My head shook from lack of words.

"What made you take off so quickly earlier?" So he had noticed something was off.

I couldn't look him in the eye as I decided to speak.

"I'mabadidea." I rushed out the words, gripping the ugly gold shirt in my hand.

"What did you say?"

"You think being with me is a bad idea." My hands brought the shirt up to my face so I could hide from whatever reaction Edward was about to elicit.

"What? How could you say that?" His voice sounded almost angry and that scared me even more. _Was angry a good thing or a bad thing? _"Bella, look at me."

"No." I burrowed my face deeper in the musty smelling shirt.

"Look at me." I felt the heat off Edward's body as he moved closer. Our bodies were flush against each other as he spoke again. "Please." I noticed a softer tone to his voice as I felt the fabric being tugged away from my face.

Edward was stronger than me and managed to rip it as gently as possible from my grasp. I closed my eyes in an effort to keep him blocked from my sight. One long finger swept slowly down my cheek. Edward's hand coaxed my face up with the finger and thumb now under my chin.

"Bella, tell me why you think that."

"Because you said so." I finally looked at him and saw confusion etched on his face.

"No I didn't. When did I say…"

"At the airport. Before you left. Before you left me."

Edward's eyes softened as he heard what I said. He stepped even closer to me, pushing my back to the closed door. Both his hands were at my face now, holding me in place so I could not look away.

"I didn't mean it Bella. Do you not believe me?"

"I don't know." Edward's mouth turned down into a frown at my words. "If you still loved me at the time, why would you tell me I was a bad idea, tell me you didn't want me?" Tears began leaking from the corners of my eyes. Edward was quick to brush them away before they fell any further.

"When I said that you were…those words, I didn't mean it. That's not what I meant to say Bella."

"Then what did you mean to say?"

"That I was a bad idea for _you._" Edward's head bowed down as he shook it gently back and forth, his hands never leaving my face.

"How could you think that?"

"Because I knew that I was not good enough for you and eventually I would have to let you go. Either that or you would grow to despise me and my absence from your life."

"No Edward, I would never…"

"But you see, _I_ thought that, and when I said I didn't want you to come with me, you mistook it to mean something else entirely. I didn't correct you because I thought if you believed I didn't want you, you could get over me quicker."

"I don't know Edward." Both of my hands were clutching to the towel wrapped securely around me. They busied themselves in the cotton so I would refrain from reaching out to him. After what had been said last night and just now, I should be more relieved. I wasn't though. He was so good at convincing me he had loved me before the break up, then he went and left me. He was even more convincing now. He could leave me again.

"I wish you could trust me, but I understand why you don't, and that it's all my fault. I will spend as long as it takes to convince you though, Bella. Even if I have to tell you every minute of every day." Edward leaned down to kiss me, but I turned my head so his lips brushed my cheek instead. "I love you. I will never leave you again."

"No." I tried to push him away from me, hoping that even though I was not strong enough to actually do so, Edward would know what I wanted and comply. "I don't want to hear that."

"But it's true. I love you. I will never leave you again." He pushed into me harder, ignoring my request to back off.

"Edward don't."

I pushed harder. I really didn't want to hear him say those words. I hated feeling so conflicted over his feelings and intentions towards me. I wanted to believe him, but a part of me couldn't. I hated that part because I just wanted to surrender to the sweet words coming out of his mouth. The ups and downs over the past 12 hours were making me feel like a human roller coaster.

"Bella, I love you. I will never leave you again." His leaned in towards me, touching his forehead against mine. I could feel his warm breath, smell the slight mint of toothpaste he must have used while I was talking to Jacob.

"Please don't do this now." I whimpered. Couldn't he see that I was hurting too much? I was stretched too thin between what I wanted to believe and what I feared was the real truth.

"Isabella Marie Swan. I love you. I promise that I will never leave you again."

"Stop!" I pushed back against the door, hoping to get enough leverage to push him off me. It worked, at least somewhat, as Edward rocked back on his heels. The extra room gave me enough space to lash out at him. "Just shut up already!" I smacked his chest with as much force as I could muster. I was moving wildly, thrashing about, completely confused over how I was feeling. Edward's hands had moved from my face, trying to grab hold of my hands and still my movements, but nothing could stop me from the break down crashing over me.

Except I forgot I was in only a towel.

Cool air hit my chest suddenly as I realized the cotton had slipped down past my breasts. Everything seemed to freeze, including Edward's and my movement. I looked up at Edward to see him staring down at my chest. My eyes followed his gaze and saw that I was blushing from being exposed to him.

Edward's eyes slowly moved back up to my face, a look of hunger and absolute need replacing the soft repentance I had seen before. I felt his hands grab onto mine, lacing our fingers together, and lifting both of our arms above my head. My eyes widened as he took a step closer to me, closing the distance I had managed to create between us.

"Bella…" His lips came down firm against mine before he could finish a thought.

The kiss was all lips and tongue and teeth, passionate and hard. There was no gentleness behind it as he pulled my lips between his and bit down enough to make me open my mouth in response. I groaned at the roughness, needing to feel this from him. He drew my tongue in his mouth and sucked on it forcefully, eliciting more moans of pleasure. I couldn't breathe from the intensity of the kiss. It was as if he was sucking the very oxygen from my body into his, filling up on it to allow him breath. Because he needed me to breathe, to live; his kiss spoke that for him.

His hands left mine, moving down my arms and making me shiver from the feeling, goose bumps erupting on my flesh. When they reached my shoulders, his lips left mine to follow the path set by his hands. They played at the soft skin on my neck, rubbing and nipping all along the collarbone and hollow of my throat. Both danced along the skin of my breasts, circling nearer and nearer to now painfully hard nipples. His fingers kneaded into my flesh as his lips circled around one nipple, tongue flicking against me and making me cry out sharply. He pushed both breasts together, attempting to get as much of me in his mouth and against his lips as possible. I arched my back at every touch, wanting to get closer and needing to feel more.

I looked down into the messy bronze locks that I had missed so much. It was now my turn to move my hands, quickly leaving their place above my head to rest in his hair. Every time he bit down or pinched I would tug and pull, wanting to make him moan against my skin. I marveled at his perfect peach lips puckering up to my breasts, pink tongue darting out to taste and lick and savor my taste. Sensing my eyes on him, Edward looked up and held my gaze. Without a word he began to kneel before me, taking the towel lower and lower as he moved.

Now completely on his knees with the towel at my feet, Edward traced every curve of my body. His hands left my breasts to follow my hips and the slope at my lower back that led to my ass. He reached around to my front, running fingers lightly up my stomach and circling around my navel. Not once did he look away from me.

He let his tongue slide out and follow his fingers, licking circles around my navel and occasionally dipping inside. When he had lavished enough attention to that portion of my body, he kissed his way out to my side, biting down on my skin every once and awhile. I heard, rather than felt, my head knock back against the door. My eyes slid shut as Edward loved every inch of my torso.

After several minutes, Edward's motions slowed and then stopped. My hands were still entwined in his hair, trying to urge him forward again. When he made no move to continue, I opened my eyes to try and decipher the sudden halt to the passion. Edward's eyes were locked on my side, wide as they took in…my tattoo.

"Bella, what…?"

He brought one finger up to the orchids blooming against my side. He traced each petal and stem as if trying to make sense of what he was seeing. There was no anger there, only wonder at seeing something that once was not there.

"Oh, that's, well, my new tattoo. My orchid tattoo." I looked away, once again scared at how he would react to my words.

"Orchid?" I chanced a look at him, his eyes were fixed on the purple inked into my skin.

"Yeah, I got it done a couple weeks ago. Jacob wanted me to do something kind of crazy…" I trailed off after noticing his expression.

"That _boy _made you mark up your beautiful skin?" He grimaced at what I considered beautiful art against plain skin.

"No. He didn't. I chose to do it all by myself. He didn't pressure me or anything, but when I saw him getting one, I decided it couldn't be any worse pain from what I had already been going through…" _Shit._

"Oh my god, Bella." His voice broke as he nuzzled into my side. "Is that what you think of then, every time you see this tattoo? Do you think of the pain I caused you?" I tried to answer but Edward kept talking. "Because of me…because I fucked up, you have to live with this permanent reminder of how horrible I was to you. God, Bella I am so sorry." He tilted his head up and began placing open mouthed kisses around my tattoo. "I'm sorry I fucked up so bad."

"Edward, stop." I brushed the hair away from his face so that he could see me better. "I don't think of how much you hurt me when I look at my tattoo."

"You don't?"

"No. Do you want to know what I do think of?" He nodded solemnly. "Every time I see these orchids on my side, I remember how happy I was with you, how beautiful and loved I felt. I felt all those things because of you." I gave him a watery smile as I let myself be completely honest, not only with him but with me as well.

_He loves me. I know it. As scared as I may be, I can't live without him. I need to learn to trust him again._

"I want to continue making you feel those things, love." Edward stood up slowly, pressing his body against me once again.

"Maybe you should show me how much you love me."

A growl erupted in his chest as Edward's lips crashed against mine. His hands flew up to my hair, wrapping the loose locks around fingers and pulling me harder to him. At the same time, he pushed against me, his lower half coming into complete contact with my naked body. I could feel how hard he was along my lower stomach.

"I love you so fucking much, Bella."

He pulled away from my lips long enough to voice the declaration, then returned to kissing me, only now his lips were sucking on my neck, working their way up to my ear. His tongue licked the shell of my ear, teeth tugging at my lobe as he held me to him.

I managed to snake my hands out to the flannel he was still wearing. The buttons slipped free from the holes easily after so many years of wear. When the last button was undone, I pushed back the material, revealing his muscled chest and stomach to me. I ran a finger up and down the defined lines of his abs, feeling him twitch against me. I used my other hand to push the shirt off his shoulders, Edward taking his hands away from me so it could fall off completely.

The flannel hadn't even hit the ground before Edward was up against me again. His skin brushed against my sensitive nipples, making me shudder pleasurably against him. My hands fount the waist of the shorts that were already slipping off his hips. They slid off easily, letting his erection spring out to attention. I wanted to sink to my knees and take him in my mouth, but Edward held me upright as if sensing my thoughts.

"Wrap your legs around me, love."

I stretched out one leg, curling it around his waist. Edward placed a hand on the back of my other leg, helping hoist me up. The action brought his cock in direct contact with my already wet sex. He felt so good rubbing up against me, his head brushing against my swollen clit.

"I can't wait to be inside you. It's been so long." He panted against my neck, straining to control himself.

"Don't wait then."

Edward lifted me up higher so he could position himself at my entrance. He pulled me onto him slowly, letting me adjust to him after three weeks of missing him inside me. The gasp that left my lips once he was fully inside was involuntary. He always felt so good, but right now it was better. After all we had been through, it felt even more right and more pleasurable.

"Oh god…you're even tighter than before Bella." He groaned the words into my ear then kissed the soft skin behind it.

My arms wrapped around his neck, hugging him closely to me. My back was firmly against the door as he elevated my lower half, giving him a better angle to work with. Now that he had entered me, Edward was no longer gentle and slow. He worked up to a furious pace, thrusting as hard as he could. His fingers dug into the skin of my ass, helping to bring me down on his cock even harder.

Edward's mouth found my nipples again, sucking and biting as he continued his movements. I could feel myself building up to release already. It was so intense and Edward was unrelenting as he hit against my sweet spot over and over again. I didn't think I could handle it for much longer, getting closer and closer to climaxing.

"Bella" _thrust _"I'm" _thrust _"never" _thrust _"leaving" _thrust _"you" _thrust _"again."

I screamed out his name as I came harder than I ever had before. I clenched my legs around him tightly as my grip around his neck increased as well. My eyes shut of their own accord, despite wanting to look at him when he reached his own release as well.

Edward's movements turned frantic as he got closer, holding me against him so he could fuck me as deep and as fast as possible. With one final thrust, he stilled as he released inside me. He let out a guttural "fuck" as he sagged against me, letting go of my legs so my feet could hit the ground and support my weight.

"Bella, I'm sorry. I wasn't too rough was I?" His breathing was labored as he tried to calm himself down after such a vigorous work out.

"Not at all." I smiled as he leaned in to kiss me.

"Why don't we go clean up."

We made our way back to the bathroom for my second shower of the day. This time Edward joined me. He washed me lovingly, being extra careful when he brushed the washcloth against my tattoo. He made sure to pay extra special attention to my breasts and vagina, making me ache to feel him inside me again already. When it was my turn to wash him, I noticed he was hard again.

"So soon?"

"What can I say, _every_ part of me missed you love. That includes my dick."

The water had long run cold before we finished in the shower. After toweling off, I threw our clothes from the night before into the washing machine so that Edward would not have to parade around in my house wearing Charlie's clothes. I changed into more attractive clothes, having someone to look good for, while Edward slipped on another pair of Charlie's shorts, preferring to remain shirtless until his clothes were finished drying.

We were laying in bed together when another thought struck me.

"Edward, did you really withdraw from Johns Hopkins?"

"Yes."

"You shouldn't have done that. Not for me."

"I didn't do it for you. I did it for me, for us." His smile was nothing but warm as he looked down on me, head propped up on one hand and the other arm draped across me.

"But…"

"No 'but's Bella. I mean, unless you really want to transfer to Maryland. Do you?" He was asking me what I wanted in the situation; so much better than just deciding for both of us like he had done before.

"Well…I mean, I would prefer to stay in Evanston, but if Johns Hopkins is what you want, Edward, I will go there."

"It's not what I want. What I want is right next to me." He leaned down to kiss me softly on the lips.

"Does that mean you're moving back to Evanston right away?"

"Only if you decide you're done living in Forks. Otherwise I may just camp out here for awhile." He flashed that gorgeous crooked smile at me and I practically melted at his words.

"No I think I'm ready to head back."

"Good. I'll need you to protect me. I have a feeling the minute we get back into town there will be several people waiting to kick my ass."

"Don't worry baby, I'll be your own personal body guard."

"You want to guard my body, huh?" His crooked smile turned wicked as he covered me with his body, letting me feel the weight of him. It was a good thing I had the entire house to myself; my giggles turned into loud moans within a matter of minutes.

Later that evening as we found ourselves yet again in my bed, Edward sat up abruptly, excitement shining in his eyes.

"I can't wait to start looking for a place to live."

"Hm?" I asked drowsily. We had so much make up sex that I could barely move, the soreness delicious to me.

"When we get back to Evanston, I'm going to ask Esme help us look for our own place. Jasper's a nice guy and all, but I want to be able to have you anywhere at any time without worrying who may see us. Our door will be locked at all times."

Tears of happiness clouded my vision. I moved to sit up next to him, crawling into his lap so I could press my body against his.

"Thank you."

"For what?"

"Loving me."

"Bella, I'm the one who should be thanking you. And not just for forgiving me and taking me back."

"Ok, whatever." I rolled my eyes lovingly at how sweet he was to me.

"I'm serious." He paused to make sure I was really listening and that all eye rolling had ceased. "You know when I first saw you, I clearly noticed how beautiful you were, but I automatically assumed you were... a bimbo." He whispered the words as if afraid he would offend me. I merely laughed at his assumption. "Obviously, I learned how smart you really were."

"Stop, you're making me blush." He really was.

"Funny that I should be your private tutor when you were the one to teach me so much. Things more important than biology or anatomy. You taught me about life and love."

He rolled us over so he once again hovered above me. Our lips melded together as we relearned the way to make each other's bodies come alive with desire.

"I love you Edward."

"I love you Bella. Forever. And I'm never leaving you again."

* * *

**again, thanks so much for sticking with me from beginning to end, even when my writing was not so flawless (not that it is now) and somewhat juvenile. review if you like, if you don't, if you have questions, whatever. i can't pass up my last chance to really whore it up for reviews ;) i also encourage you to go to the twilighted thread for the story if you have some indepth q's and whatnot. i frequent there often and may quite possibly more promptly respond to you there.**

**shameless plug: i have started a new story: the artist in the ambulance, that i have already begun posting here on ff and on twilighted. now that pt is over i will be updating more frequently. if you'd like, give it a looksee and let me know what you think. **

**i love you all so much!**

**_and i'll take with me the memories  
to be my sunshine after the rain  
it's so hard to say goodbye to yesterday  
_**fades out with boyz II men****

* * *


	40. epilogue

**Disclaimer: not smeyer, not at all.  
**

**A/N: Here it is, at long last, the epilogue for PT. IDK why I had to take such a break, but it was necessary to step back and properly write this. I wanted to do it justice. Hopefully you agree the wait was worth it.  
thanks to bellaslover for giving me some outside perspective. and for renaming this an "epic"logue.  
and as always MUCHAS GRACIAS to mskathy who listens to my rants and cheers me on when i get emo. she betas me good. i owe her a lifetime supply of sbux for everything she has done. **

**Italicized portion is flashback**

**BPOV**

"Why so anxious, Bella?" Rose was standing behind me, running a finger across her lips absentmindedly.

"I just can't wait to see him."

Alice "awed" next to me as she continued to fuss over my makeup and hair. There really wasn't much more she could do, but her hands still fluttered around me as I sat and patiently let her primp me. I allowed it because I thought I owed it to her. Alice was the one that had been there for me during all that time away from Edward.

"But you guys were only apart for a few weeks. And didn't you see him like, last night?"

"Shh." Alice cut Rose off before she could get into a full blown rant. "Bella has every right to be anxious. It may have been only a few weeks, but they were very long, hard weeks without him."

The only response from Rose was rolling eyes; absurdly long lashes fluttering as she did so. I didn't let it get to me, though. I couldn't. I was just too happy. So instead of a nasty retort, I laughed.

"Besides, I didn't see him last night. It was two nights ago. Thank. You. Very. Much." Rose rolled her eyes again and I was afraid they were in danger of coming loose and falling out of her sockets with how frequent that habit was becoming. "I know I'm hopeless."

"Hopelessly in love, maybe."

Alice gave me her widest, cheesiest smile. She giggled as she played with a curl in my hair. Rose and I joined in the laughter, feeling giddy. I sat between my two best friends, reveling in the moment. It had been too long since we'd been together like this.

"You look beautiful, Bella." Rose leaned over to hug me. "Really, you're practically glowing from happiness. It's so great seeing you like this. After what happened…"

"Rosalie McCarty! Do not bring that up now!" Alice sat forward so she could smack Rose's shoulder. "Bella doesn't want to think about that right now!"

"I know, but it's true. It's not as if she doesn't know how bad she looked."

The fact that they were talking about me as if I wasn't there was really annoying. On top of it all, my mind was taking me back to how awful those three weeks had been. I had looked like shit; I saw firsthand the toll of being broken up with Edward had taken on my body.

Now was not the time to even think about that. We had moved past those tumultuous weeks.

"_But_," Rose kept talking, no notice of how I was responding to the topic at hand, "you have to admit, Emmett's reaction was _priceless!_"

Judging by the raucous laughter coming out of her mouth and the tittering giggles from Alice, I knew they were thinking about what Emmett did when we got back into Chicago.

"_God, it's so great to be back!" Edward inhaled deeply, then promptly started coughing from the strange smells that always seemed to permeate O'Hare._

_We walked towards baggage claim, avoiding the crowds surging by us, hand in hand. Whenever someone came nearby, threatening to separate us, Edward pulled me in tight. I loved it. My body wanted to meld into his side; only that made walking too difficult. So instead, I just took what I could get, enjoying the feel of any part of his body on mine._

"_Do you mind?" I pointed towards the women's restroom, desperately needing to empty my bladder and freshen up after a long, turbulence-filled ride._

"_Of course not." He flashed that beautiful crooked grin my way. "I'll be waiting outside."_

_After using the bathroom, I took inventory of my appearance. Despite the rumpled hair and creases in my clothes, I looked so much better than I had before Edward showed up outside my window. I splashed water on my face to try and wake myself up, put on some lip gloss, ran my fingers through my hair, and was out the door on my way back to Edward. _

"_Ready?" He extended his hand out to me, which I gladly accepted._

_It was a good thing I was with Edward. O'Hare was so insanely large. Left to my own devices, I probably would've ended up in the International Terminal instead of baggage claim. We reached our destination without mishap, all we had to do was wait for our luggage. Anticipating quite the wait, Edward led me over to a nearby bench. He sat down and pulled me down on his lap, not giving me the option of sitting next to him. I giggled like a school girl, giddy to be with my boyfriend._

"_We should've tried, love."_

_Shifting on his lap, I turned to look at him. Upon seeing the disappointment on his face, I rolled my eyes. He had a one track mind._

"_You know as well as I do that there is zero room in those bathrooms for any funny business."_

_One adorable Cullen pout was his initial response._

"_But I'm horny." His voice was laced with pain, as if he was physically aching from the need to have sex. Well…I understood that pain._

"_It hasn't even been 24 hours!" I put my hand over my mouth to quiet my laughter. I was also hoping it would hide at least some of the blush painting my cheeks. _

"_Yeah, but I need to make up for lost time." He smirked at me, making my blush deepen. That smirk did naughty things to my body, not to mention ruining my underwear._

_Edward recognized the desire written plainly on my face. Using my weakened state of mind, he leaned down to kiss me. It was long and sensuous; his tongue pushing past my lips and slowly thrusting into my mouth. The moan that left me was completely unintentional._

"_People can see us!" I whispered as I pulled away, albeit reluctantly._

"_Let them watch." His mouth moved down to my neck, sucking on the thin skin. I rolled my head to the side, enjoying the way his lips felt against me. My eyes were slowly closing when I spotted my luggage coming out onto the belt._

"_Oh! Edward!" I heard him snicker, as if my exclamation was due to his talented mouth. "Our luggage, stupid." I smacked him playfully on his shoulder._

"_Fuck." I got up off his lap, laughing the entire time. I turned back in time to see him adjusting himself. That set me off, as I doubled over from the laughing fit now taking over my body. _

_As I reached out to grab my bag, I felt an unfortunate sense of déjà vu wrack my body. Last time I was doing this, Jacob was helping with my luggage. Last time I wasn't with Edward, because he had broken up with me right at this exact airport._

_I shook my head to clear away the negative thoughts. That was behind us. Now, after the discussions we had, we could move forward._

_A loud grunting sound broke me from my reverie. I turned in time to see Edward stumbling back, hands holding onto his stomach as if injured. Then I saw Emmett, massive fists clenched and held at the ready, a disgusted look on his face._

_Oh shit._

_Bag forgotten, I ran towards the small crowd that was now gathering around my boyfriend and his older brother. I had to get in there and intervene. There was no way I would allow Edward getting hauled off to some holding cell for public brawling. _

"_Emmett!" I shouted as loud as I could, hoping to be heard over the now very noisy crowd. Edward was standing up straight, a look of pure shock on his face. His hands were at his side, no longer nursing the injury inflicted by Emmett. _

"_What do you think you're doing?" The shock was now replaced with anger._

"_Hm, let me think. I'm pretty sure I'm about to beat the shit out of you. How could you do that to Bella? How can you even show your _face _in this state while she's in Washington, completely distraught, because of you?"_

"_Dude, Bella's…"_

"_Whatever, man. The time for explanations has passed. I promised Rose I would hurt you the next time I saw you. Now I'm just making good on my word."_

"_Emmett!" I tried again, pushing people aside so I could get to his side._

"_You need to calm down, Em." Edward's hands were raised, as if in surrender._

"_Nope. What I need to do is kick your ass." Emmett was advancing on Edward. The crowd was even larger. If I didn't get through these people soon, security was sure to show up._

"_But you don't understand. Bella's…"_

"_I don't want to hear your excuses, dipshit." _

_I had finally managed to squeeze past the remaining people blocking me from the Cullen boys. While I wanted to go to Edward and comfort him, I knew I had to talk to Emmett first. He was in a fit of rage, red faced and lips drawn tight as he prepared to fight his own brother for my honor. It was touching, but unnecessary._

"_Emmett, you need to stop." I placed my hand on his bulging bicep, trying my best to push it down. _

"_Sorry ma'am, but you see, my brother here totally screwed over his girlfriend. And _not _in a good way."_

"_I know, but it's ok. He came back to get me. We're back together." Emmett wasn't even looking at me as he tried to shake me off._

"_Her name is Bella, and she's the sweetest damn girl ever. She didn't deserve what my asshole brother did to her…." _

_Clearly, he didn't realize who I was. He thought I was just some good Samaritan come to break up the fight. He felt compelled to explain the situation, but hearing him talk about me like that was bringing tears to my eyes. He was so sweet._

_It was also kind of funny. I could see Edward out of the corner of my eye. He was trying not to laugh, knowing it would only enrage Emmett more._

"_Emmett, it's me. Bella."_

"_Huh?" Emmett stopped short, turning to look at me. His eyes bugged out slightly and his jaw dropped. "Bella?"_

"_Hi." I fluttered my fingers at him._

"_Bella!" All anger forgotten, Emmett lifted me up and hugged me so tightly my back cracked._

_At this point, Edward was busting out laughing. He couldn't hold it in anymore. Seeing Emmett had calmed down, he walked over to us, huge smile on his face._

"_I tried to tell you, man. I went and got Bella back."_

"_Hmph." Emmett turned to give Edward a sour look. "I'm still pissed at you. She may have let you off the hook, but I'm not so easily won over."_

_"That's alright, give it time." I kissed Edward's hand as we went back to retrieve our bags._

_"Emmett?" Edward stopped to look at his brother. "How did you know to come to the airport?"_

_"Alice told me you'd be here."_

_"And she didn't find it important to mention that Bella was with me?"_

_"Guess she forgot to tell me." Emmett cracked a grin._

_I think Alice was hoping Emmett would do exactly what he just did. Scheming girl that she is..._

"I still can't believe he didn't realize you were standing right next to him!" Alice was now snorting, something I had never seen before.

"And I can't believe you sent him there to kick Edward's ass! That's just mean, Alice!" I shook my finger at her, scolding the more evil side of my best friend.

"He deserved it." Rose's grin was so huge, her cheeks had to hurt.

"Whatever." I exhaled a large breath, blowing a curl out of my face. "That's going to get annoying," I explained as I forced the same curl back again after falling over my eye.

"Here, use this." Rose pulled a beautiful hair pin from the drawer beside her.

"Rose, it's…beautiful."

The lily pin she held out to me looked as if the petals were made of mother of pearl. They glistened and shine with a beautiful iridescence. In the center was a cluster of crystals that radiated out about half way down the petals. It was so elegant and understated, yet striking. I knew that I would be able to wear it and not feel too over-adorned.

"It was my grandma's. She gave it to me before she passed."

"Oh, I can't wear that!"

"Nonsense!" She smiled as she picked up the curl and used the pin to hold it in place at the side of my head. "It looks good on you."

"Thanks."

"Look at Bella, bein' all girly!" Alice was high off of all the makeup and shit I was currently wearing. "Hey, are those…are those earrings I see?"

Cue eye roll.

I never wore much jewelry. Apparently my friends were under the impression that Hell would have to freeze over in order for me to do so willingly. It wasn't that I hated jewelry, just the kind Rose and Alice were always sporting: huge dangling earrings, large cocktail rings, and layers upon layers of necklaces were not my style. My style was simple, like the simple princess cut diamond stud earrings I was wearing.

"Did Edward give you those?" Alice looked upset, as if she should have seen it coming that her brother gave me a gift.

"Actually, they're from Renee." I smiled as I fingered the small bling in my ear.

"Besides," Rosalie started, "you know if they were from Edward, they'd probably be a couple karats bigger."

Alice stood up, a faraway look in her eyes. She turned to Rose and me, face completely blank. It frightened me. I was seconds away from shaking her when she opened her mouth to speak.

"It's time." The high soft voice she usually spoke in was replaced by something deeper, gruffer.

"Is everything ok, Alice? You're starting to scare me." I watched as ever so slowly, a small twitching began around the corners of her lips.

"In exactly one hour and twenty two minutes, your life will be drastically change. For. Ever." She tried to keep a straight face, but couldn't keep herself from cracking up.

"Ok, Miss Cleo. How about we go meet the boys now?" Rose stood up to leave, Alice close on her heels. "You ready?"

"Yup." I started making my way out the door when I realized I was missing something. "Almost forgot something, hold on."

After grabbing it off the counter, I smiled and walked out after my two best friends, excited to see Edward. It had only been a couple days since I'd seen him, but I just couldn't get enough of that man. I loved him, body and soul. Now, with those three weeks behind us, I wouldn't have to worry about being separated from him ever again.

--

**EPOV**

Waiting for the girls to finish getting ready was becoming painful. I needed to see Bella, so much that I was beginning to fidget restlessly. The label on my beer was in shreds on the end table. Jasper and Emmett were doing their best to distract me, but it wasn't working so well. I know I promised not to peek, to leave Bella alone while Rose and Alice got her ready for today, but now I was regretting it. Really, one little quick visit wouldn't hurt anyone, right?

"The interrupting cow…"

"MOOO!" Emmett could hardly get the loud noise out over his guffawing.

"Jesus, Em, did you really just tell the interrupting cow joke…again?" I looked over at my brother, tears streaming down his face from how hard he was laughing.

"Earth to Edward, did you not hear him set that up?" Jasper turned his confused face towards me. "He was making a big todo about it and everything. I think it was all for you, too."

"Oh…well, sorry. I guess I got lost in my thoughts."

"Bella on the brain?" Jasper put his arm around me in a brotherly gesture.

"More like pussy on the brain."

"Emmett!" I yelled out at Emmett, hating how he seemed to trivialize my relationship sometimes.

"You know it's true. Don't get your panties in a twist." Emmett made his way to the mini fridge in the corner, pulling out another beer. If he wasn't careful, he'd be drunk before night fell. That would not go over well.

"Are you glad you and Bella are going to be getting back to a normal life now?" Jasper tried redirecting the conversation.

"I would hardly call it a 'normal life' Jasper. Do you think becoming a doctor leads to any sense of normalcy?"

"C'mon, man. You know what I mean."

"Right, I know." My fingers were at the torn shreds of label, randomly piling them up and scattering them in a nervous gesture. "I just worry about our future. I worry how hard this will all be on her. I hate seeing her in pain, and I know it will affect her."

"Bro, if you two could get past the shit you've been through already, there ain't nothing that can get in the way now." Emmett came over and sat beside me, beer held out for a toast. I clinked my bottle against his while laughing.

"It's a little early for that, don't you think?" He responded with a half hearted shrug. "You really think we can work through this ok?"

"Do you love her?" Emmett peered down at me, a hint of warning in his eyes.

"Of course I do." His expression softened as he leaned back on the couch.

"And you'd do anything for her?" Jasper asked from the chair across from us.

"Yes. Anything and everything." I felt somewhat corny saying it aloud, but that didn't lessen the truth of it.

"I wouldn't worry, then. You'll make it work somehow." Jasper smiled slow and easy at me, trying to calm me down.

"Mom and Dad got through it. It's not like it's impossible to make a relationship work through the shit storm of becoming a doctor."

"I guess you're right." I smiled back, trying to ease the odd gurgling sensation in my stomach. I was nervous - both in a good and bad way. The good was winning, though. I knew what I wanted and was trying not to let my insecurities get the best of me.

A soft knock on the door brought all three of us spinning toward the sound.

"Mr. Cullen, are you ready?"

"I think that's my cue." I stood up, all traces of nerves gone

--

Soft music was playing in the background as I stood and waited for Bella. I looked around the room and noticed all those that were most important in our lives.

My brother and my best friend stood beside me; Emmett fidgeting with the blue vest he was forced into and Jasper the picture of cool, calm, and collected in his tuxedo.

My parents were in the front row. Esme was already crying, even before Bella made it down the aisle. If I wasn't mistaken, Carlisle's eyes were filling with tears he desperately didn't want to let fall. I couldn't look at them for too long. Doing so would wreak havoc on my overly emotional state.

Bella's family sat on the other side of the aisle. Sue and her children were seated next to Renee and Phil. They chatted amicably as they waited, trying to keep from breaking down for as long as possible. Jake was even there, with his friends from La Push. He looked over at me and I nervously stared back into a face that was clearly telling me _Don't fuck this up or I will fuck you up. _I nodded slightly as I took in his warning. A small smile flitted across his features as he saw me, then turned to talk to his friends.

There were other people in the crowd that I didn't recognize, but knew held special importance to our families in one way or another. Bella wanted this to be a small affair, and our group was small, intimate, as we were surrounded by the foliage of the garden we were nestled in. The late Spring air was warm and laced with the scent of flowering blossoms. Everything was beautiful and damn near perfect.

The music changed to the familiar chords and the world seemed to stop spinning on its axis, because standing in the back was Bella. My Bella. She radiated beauty, overshadowing everything in her path. Alice and Rose were making their way up to the altar, but I couldn't keep any of my focus on them. I barely even registered Charlie standing by Bella's side, his arm linked with hers.

Her dress was perfect on her. All those months of Alice dragging her to fittings had been worth it, and I no longer resented being kept away from her until the wedding started. Seeing her like this was amazing. Her shoulders were completely bare; the strapless, ivory gown was decorated with flowers along the bust and around the hem of the skirt. I immediately thought of the orchids I had given her on our first Valentine's Day together, as well as each one since then, and noticed the bouquet she held: white orchids with a hint of pink in their centers were bundled together.

The sun shined down on her like a beacon, causing her porcelain skin to glow. My hands itched to caress the curve of her clavicle, run across her shoulders, and down her back. A sudden glare off her neck brought my attention to the necklace she wore; _my _necklace. It had been years since I had given her that necklace. She had yet to ever take it off. Nor had I - they remained a sign of our devotion to each other. A jaw-aching smile threatened to take over my face as I realized that even now, on her most important day, she kept it on. I wondered if Alice had thrown a fit, tried to convince her to wear something more appropriate.

_I'm so glad she's wearing it. Too bad she can't see mine under the tux shirt._

I stood in awe as Bella made her way slowly toward me. Her smile made my heart clench tight and any residual nerves disappear. She hadn't changed much since that first year we were together. She still wore her hair long, tossing it up in a messy bun when she wanted to get it out of her face. The makeup she wore was minimal, though today more visible - something I assumed was due to all the pictures we'd be taking. There were some subtle differences. She had the body of a woman, swells of her breasts and curves of her hips more apparent. Her figure was supple and everything I wanted. Holding on to those hips as I made love to her was indescribable. Her face had lost some of the roundness so common in youth, but her eyes, brown and soulful, were the same. The peach pink lips that I loved to kiss were the same, too.

No matter any changes she may undergo throughout the years, she would still be My Bella.

A kiss from Charlie on her cheek as he handed Bella to me brought me out of my reverie. She was standing beside me now, ready and eager to become my wife. I knew I had waited too long for this day, to become her husband.

The wait had been worth it though, and was a true test for our relationship. Bella finished up school as I spent countless hours with mine. Med school was hard, occupying all of my time. I don't know how Bella stayed as patient as she had. It wasn't all sunshine and rainbows, there were plenty of shouts, heartache, and tears. But never any regret.

She stayed with me through the shock of my first year, which was harder than I had anticipated. She humbled me when I got cocky my second year, thinking I had figured my shit out. As I sat the first part of my boards prior to my third year, she stayed up to help quiz me, cooked me "brain food," and listened to my fears and doubts at becoming a doctor. My last year was when I leaned on Bella the most. I had to pick my specialty. I had always assumed I would go with Neurology. After everything I learned during my clerkship, however, I realized that perhaps Neurology wasn't for me.

Eventually, after hours spent discussing it with Bella and even more sleepless ones, I had decided to focus on becoming a family physician. General practice may not be as glamorous or even as financially rewarding, but being able to have more stable hours meant a life better spent with Bella. We could start a family sooner and build the life we really wanted, with less concern of how much of a role I'd play in it.

Bella had an amused look on her face, as if she knew I was deep in thought. She winked at me as the Priest officiated over the ceremony. I couldn't get enough of her. We had spent nearly three weeks apart as I finished my last year. Bella traveled to spend time with her family, both in Washington and Arizona. Alice had gone with her, making sure all the last minute wedding planning was taken care of. As much as I wanted to go too, it was impossible. There was no way to take round two of my boards while traveling with her.

There we were, together, hands clasped tight as we recited our vows. The actual words blurred in my mind. All I saw, all I heard, all that was, was Bella. Her eyes were misty as she repeated the words that bound us together. Her smile was permanently fixed on her face as she listened to me, and when the words "I do" were uttered and we leaned together to share our first kiss as husband and wife, her very essence seemed to fill me up. Loud cheering assaulted my ears as we turned to face our friends and families.

_Husband and wife. Mr. and Mrs. Cullen. Happiest day of my life._

--

"Introducing Mr. and Mrs. Edward Cullen," a voice boomed out through the speakers as Bella and I waited to walk into the reception area.

"Edward, your bowtie is crooked." Bella smiled up at me as she hurried in front of me to straighten out my wardrobe malfunction.

I stared down at her lovingly as I remembered the New Year's Eve party where she had done the exact same thing. My daydream finally realized, the simple diamond on Bella's left ring finger sparkled from the surrounding light.

"There, perfect." She ran her fingers across my shoulders and down my arms. "Ready?"

"Absolutely."

--

The reception…oh God, the reception. I wish I could have fast forwarded through all the bullshit. Bella was the dutiful bride, smiling, hugging, and talking to all of our guests. I was lost, though. My mind had left the gardens and moved to our new place, just minutes away.

All I remembered from that evening was the sound of clinking glasses, toasts being made in our honor, cake being cut, dances shared… Though when Bella and I shared our first dance, all the background shit seemed to fade away. I held her close to my body as we swayed back and forth. We shared small kisses and dirty words, leaving me with a raging hard on to get rid of before the song ended.

Even leaving the reception, guests waving around sparklers as we dashed to the Aston Martin parked out front, was insignificant to me. As long as Bella enjoyed herself, and the photographer took adequate amount of pictures, I was happy.

We finally made it to the small single family home we had purchased in Highland Park. It was close to the hospital I had matched, which would be a huge plus once I started my internship/residency.

"Welcome home, Mrs. Cullen." I picked her up so I could carry her across the threshold. She giggled and kissed my neck as we walked in, making it hard for me to concentrate.

"Thank you, Mr. Cullen." She set her feet on the floor and began walking into the living room right off the main entrance. "Or should I say…_Dr. _Cullen."

"Haven't I warned you before what bad things you calling me 'Dr. Cullen' does to me?" I let my gaze move slowly down her body, wondering what she could be wearing under her dress.

"What if I don't consider it bad?" She smirked at me and began walking deeper into the living room before I had the chance to catch up with her.

Bella made a small squeaking noise and I rushed over to see what had elicited such a reaction. I caught up to find her staring out at the baby grand piano sitting by the window.

"Do you like it?" I saw her nod in approval. "A wedding gift from my parents…"

"Will you play something for me?"

Bella glided towards the bench, sitting down on one end to leave room for me to join her. I was struck dumb at the image. The ivory of her dress contrasted beautifully against the ebony of the bench, and in that moment, all I wanted was to be near her, claim her as my wife.

_Mine._

"Always, love. Any requests?"

I sat down next to her, wanting nothing more than to pull her on top of me. However, I knew what she wanted, and would gladly give it to her…and then give _it _to her later. I was already uncomfortable in my tuxedo pants, but getting an erection made everything worse, so I focused on playing for the beautiful woman at my side.

"My song." She blushed, as if she had any reason to be embarrassed.

There were some things I would never tire of doing; playing Bella's song was one of them. Though, throughout the years it had been modified slightly, the beginning still started out the same, with its somewhat awkward stumbles and falls. The portion of the piece dedicated to our separation, however, did not seem to occupy as much of the music as before. In the many years we had been together, while the distance and break up had inflicted serious pain on both of us, it was only a small part of our time together. The remainder of the song reflected that -- stronger, more vibrant, and full of an energy that could not be diminished. The ending was more triumphant than questioning, a better fitting resolution to our story now.

"So beautiful." Bella murmured next to me.

"Not nearly as beautiful as you." I leaned in to whisper in her ear, my finger slowly moving down her right side, where I knew that orchid tattoo was. "I'm glad Alice kept me away from you. I thought the tradition of not seeing the bride before the wedding was so silly, but it was better this way, I think."

"Me too. I wanted to keep some things as traditional as possible." Bella twisted her body to face me, swinging her legs over my lap.

"Oh, really? Like what kinds of traditions?" I slipped her heels off, knowing how sore her feet must be, and rubbed the balls of her feet firmly.

"Mmm, that feels so good." She sighed next to me, enjoying the attention to her much abused feet. "Well I had to do the 'something old, something new' one for sure."

"The what?" As happy as I was about getting married, that didn't mean I knew about all the different details that went into planning one.

"You know, the old saying meant for good luck? The bride is supposed to wear something old." She fingered the pendant that was just barely peeking from above her cleavage. "Something new." Her hand moved up to the diamond earrings from Renee. "Something borrowed." Now she was carefully removing the flower pin in her hair. She had told me earlier how Rosalie had been sweet enough to lend it to her while they all got ready. Bella set it down on top of the piano before leaning over to kiss me sweetly on the lips.

"What about the blue? I don't remember seeing you wear anything blue all day." At my words, Bella's smile grew wicked.

"Well you wouldn't have, now would you? Because," she stood as she spoke, slowly hiking up the skirt of her dress, "it was under," higher and higher she lifted, "my dress." All of the fabric was around her waist as she finally revealed the blue portion of her wardrobe. In front of me, Bella stood, legs slightly apart, wearing the smallest of royal blue thongs.

"Jesus Bella." I reached out to trace the lace along the outside of her underwear. "Is there a matching bra for that?" I stood up to get closer, wanting to rip off the dress, but knowing Bella would not be too pleased with my actions.

"No." I couldn't help but feel disappointed at her answer. "But, maybe you should take this off me and see what I _do _have on up top." The sexy smirk still firmly in place, she turned her back to me so I could unzip the dress.

"With pleasure, love."

Her dress fell in a rush to the ground, leaving my beautiful bride in a corset that matched the thong perfectly. She spun around so I could see her, breasts practically spilling out of the fabric that was laced together up the front.

"Bella, you look…" I couldn't finish the sentence. My body overrode all thought process and I was pressing next to her within seconds.

"Take off the damn monkey suit, husband of mine." Those sexy hips pushed up against mine, grinding against me.

Our clothing was taken off hastily, Bella's wedding dress tossed off to the side somewhere since we could "get it dry cleaned later." My tuxedo was not as nicely handled, most likely torn at some of the seams and missing buttons from our lack of restraint. But it didn't matter because it was, "only a rental. We'll pay to have it fixed."

"Come here," I growled out as I sat down on the bench, pulling Bella on top of me roughly. My cock rubbed up against her ass as she ground her pussy against me. She was so warm and wet against my skin, ready for me. I was fucking hard enough to hammer nails at this point. I needed her too bad to wait any longer. I wanted her to be so turned on, she came apart at the seams. "Sit on my cock, baby." I whispered the words in her ear, waiting for the reaction I knew was sure to follow.

Bella moaned against my neck as she lifted herself to position herself above me. She sat down, one of her hands guiding me inside her. With all of her heat surrounding me, I wanted nothing more than to grab her hips and move her up and down my shaft. However, this night was about Bella, and I wanted to focus on her pleasure, so I let her set the pace.

Watching her ride me, breasts bouncing up and down, was so fucking erotic. She braced herself on her knees, each one placed outside my legs, using my shoulders to help keep her steady. My hands were left free to roam her body, now glistening with the exertion of fucking me slowly. I turned my attention to her nipples, making sure to flick and pinch, until they hardened under my touch. My thumb grazed over the sensitive flesh and Bella threw her head back in pleasure.

"Oh god, Edward. Feels so good." She brought her head back up, staring at me as she continued to rock herself on top of me. She was torturing me with her slow movements. "Do you like it when I ride you baby?"

"Yesss." The word came out as a hiss. She was killing me, slowly, sweetly, sensuously.

"But you want more, don't you?"

"So bad, love."

Every time Bella and I made love was spectacular, but in this moment I needed more. I needed to fill her completely. I wanted her to feel every last inch of me, pressed into her so hard, she would forget where one of us started and the other ended. Tonight, more than ever before, I wanted to go as deep inside her as possible; claiming her body, heart, and soul as mine. That's what she was: mine, now and forever.

"Fuck me, Edward," she breathed out sultry and warm against my neck. "I need it."

Her words went in my ears and rushed down to my cock, making me swell inside her even more. Even after all this time together, the simple request to fuck her made me mad with lust and love.

"That's right. You need it. You need it because you're mine, Bella. No one can give you what you need like I do. And no one will ever get to try again."

Lifting her up with me, I set her ass on the keyboard. The cacophony filled my ears along with her increasingly loud moans and exclamations. The bench fell behind me, and even though the thing was brand new, I couldn't find it in me to care. We had not had the opportunity to have sex on a piano since that one time in my parents' basement. Having Bella's legs wrapped around my waist as I pressed her hard into the instrument made me wonder why I had waited so long to do this again.

My true love and my first love together: Bella and music.

Bella leaned back, hands stretched out to her sides. Her fingers clawed at the keys on each end, trying to find something to hold on to. I knew the feeling well. When I was inside her, I needed to be grounded somehow. Right now, holding on to her soft flesh as I let myself go was enough.

I thrust into her as hard as I could, her body pushing up against the fall and music rack. Her breasts moved each time I pushed inside her, and I fixated my glance on those perfect nipples. I leaned forward to suck one into my mouth, biting down as Bella begged me for more. Her back arched up from the body of the piano, pushing more into my mouth.

"Oh fuck! Oh..mmm…yesss…" Her words left her as I continued to work both her pussy and her chest, trailing my lips over to her other breast after a time. I started moving away when I felt Bella's hands move to my hair, gripping hard and holding me in place. "Don't move. Don't fucking move. So close."

I could feel her tighten all around me as her body sought the release it craved. She let out a stifled yelp, never letting go of my hair as I kept moving through her orgasm.

"Don't hold back, love. Next time I make you come, I want to hear you scream my name."

She looked up into my eyes, the chocolate brown glazed over, lids hooded with what seemed to be an insatiable lust. _God I love this woman. _

"I love you Edward." She seemingly responded to my unspoken thoughts.

"Love you so much." I managed to get the words out as I quickened my pace, wanting us to both come again, together. "Bella, baby, I want you to watch me as I fuck you."

She looked down to where we were joined, watching me slide out of her, my tip almost kissing those lips before thrusting in again. Her eyes were feverish, breaths hard and labored as we raced closer to climax. I loved watching her watching me.

"Touch yourself for me," I begged, knowing I wasn't going to last much longer like this.

I didn't have to ask twice. Bella's hand left my hair, now damp with sweat, to slip between our bodies. Two fingers found her clit, rubbing small, fast circles around it. Her eyes closed at the new sensation added to the feel of my cock inside her.

Bella moaned louder and louder, her tiny body beginning to shake and quiver underneath me. She clamped down around me, tiny legs drawing me inside her even further. As she came, Bella screamed out.

"Edward!"

A few pumps later I was coming inside her, hard. My entire body stilled as I let go, relishing in the feeling that was uniquely caused by Bella.

Sweaty and spent, we somehow managed to make it to our bed on the second floor. We lay there together, limbs tangled up, as we drifted off to sleep on our first night as a married couple. Moonlight streamed in through a window still left bare from the recent move. The glow illuminated Bella's skin, tempting me to caress the supple flesh of her thighs.

"Mm, Edward…"

"Yes, Bella?" She rolled onto her side so she could look at me better.

"Ready for round two?"

* * *

**so...it's been awhile huh? i hope you were a bit confused as to the time line of the events and what the events actually were. the intention was for the wedding to not be immediately obvious. but even if it was, here's hoping you enjoyed it. and the sexy times...i feel so out of practice with lemon writing, almost as if this was my first time all over again. lol. if you were happy in the pants then i did a good job.**

**this is the absolute end of PT. there will be no sequel. i appreciate all your love for this little story of mine, but i just cant write more. i took e and b on their journey, now it's time to let them be. i just could never adequately write e's time as a doctor. but if you are looking for doctorward, i do have a story about one. a dr. mcdoucheward to be exact. so if you need something else to read and critique, link's in my profile for TAITA.**

**thank you again for every review. whether it be good, bad, indifferent, it all helped aid me in shaping PT. you are the best everrrrr**


	41. Outtake The Proposal

**disclaimer: do not own**

**a/n: this outtake is all due to anniej13's generosity for purchasing me in FGB. thanks for buying and for allowing me to post this on ffnet for others. and also thanks to mskathy who is my go to girl for PT beta stuff.  
this was a fun last little romp in the PT world. hope you enjoy. if you do, make sure you say thanks to annie too for requesting this**

* * *

**EPOV**

I woke up with the best, scariest, most life-altering feeling that morning.

_Today is the day. This is it. _

I made sure everything was prepared for my weekend getaway with Bella. Our _surprise _weekend getaway to Lake Geneva. Bella still thought I would be at the clinic all day, doing grunt work for the residents. Little did she know - which was exactly how I wanted things – I had gotten the day off.

I'd pretend to leave for the day, run a few last minute errands, then head right back home. The ring was safely stored in my jacket pocket. I'd put it there the night before and not touched it since…just in case. Reservations had been made at the White Swan Inn – so chosen because of my beautiful girlfriend's last name. She'd have to appreciate that gesture. Dinner would be a candlelit affair complete with violins accompanying the romantic mood. The boat tour was set up for the following day. I even scheduled a couple's massage at the local spa.

_Here's hoping for a repeat performance of our first Valentine's Day massages. _

So all in all, it was going to be perfect. Romantic, beautiful, everything the woman I love deserved.

_You are the man Edward._

_Yes, I am._

--

After pulling in front of the apartment building, I had to resist the strong urge to run inside. I needed to keep calm or Bella would figure out what was going on. And, despite her supposed hatred of all things surprising in nature, I needed this to work out exactly as I planned. The romantic in me wanted this to be the perfect proposal, the kind girls bragged about to their friends. The kind you saw in those cheesy jewelry commercials. Only better, because it would be real and. Just. Fucking. Perfect.

When I got upstairs the sound of music and water running grabbed my attention. Following the noise I found Bella in the shower, dancing around behind the curtain, singing along with Beyonce.

"_If you liked it then you shoulda put a ring on it."_

Ok. Really. Could my timing be any more fucking –I'll use the word again - perfect?

**BPOV**

I'd be lying if I said things had been easy in my relationship with Edward. The loving part was easy. It was the separation, the commitment to things outside of our own happy bubble that made things so hard. My schooling. Edward's schooling. It was all so…demanding. But I had just graduated with my bachelor's from Northwestern. Things, at least on my end, were slowing down.

Too bad I was still spending the day alone.

Edward had been so busy lately that we hardly had the chance to celebrate my big day. But he had promised me we would go out that night. After he was done with school Edward wanted to take me to the fanciest restaurant in the city. A part of me was hoping we would just get take out and spend the night at home, celebrating in the way I liked best.

Still, our dates were few and far between. I decided to make the most of my alone time, by pampering myself in preparation for our evening out. I'd scheduled an appointment for a waxing, followed by a mani-pedi. Alice got news of my date with the spa and decided to tag along. She was never one to pass on bliss. And of course, she was giddy that I had volunteered myself for it all. No force necessary from the pixie girl.

When I got home, I felt relaxed and happy. My body was smooth and soft after the wax. My nails were nicely shaped and polished. I was…sexy. And I wanted to keep feeling that way all night long. I wanted to see Edward and have him buckle from the sex appeal I was radiating. Ridiculous, but still something I couldn't wait to see.

Trying to maintain the sexbomb attitude, I stripped out of my clothes and sauntered into the bathroom, turning on the shower. I plugged my iPod into the dock and went to my "Dance" playlist. It contained all the music I loved to dance to when no one was around, so I could be as foolish as I wanted to be. Song after song came on as I moved my body under the warm spray of water. By the time "Single Ladies" came on, I was completely lost in the music. Singing along, I tried out some sexy dance moves while I washed my body. I was even doing the pump walk, knowing no one could see how ridiculous I looked.

_Thank god Edward isn't here to see this. _

"Mmm, you know I love coming home and finding you all naked and wet for me."

"AGH!"

His voice coming out of nowhere, scaring the bejesus out of me, coupled with my foot being mid-air from my dance moves, made me do some weird jump-step. Unfortunately, being in the shower didn't help matters either. When my foot hit the tub floor, it slipped out from underneath me. It all happened so fast I didn't have time to grab onto anything. I landed with a thud.

"Bella? Are you okay?" I heard the curtain push to the side as I tried to pull myself up to stand. My right ankle was throbbing painfully so I settled on sliding back down on my ass.

"Does it look like I'm okay?" Annoyed, I was really annoyed. I couldn't help it. I was all sprawled out on my ass, looking stupid.

"No, it doesn't."

"That's right. I'm naked, wet – not in a good way - probably have a sprained ankle, and all on the only night in _months _we've had to spend some quality time together." Saying it out loud got me all worked up. "What are you doing home?" Before I had a chance to realize how I sounded, I saw disappointment flash in Edward's eyes.

"I wanted to surprise you." He looked so dejected standing over me, slightly hunched shoulders with his hands outstretched toward me. The anger and annoyance melted away.

"Really?"

"Yeah, I had it all planned out. But now…" His hair had grown out into a sexy, disheveled mess. Stray locks streaked across his cheeks as he shook his head. It was kind of distracting.

"I'm sure I just sprained my ankle or something. We can still go out to dinner."

A sly smile spread across Edward's face. It had me wondering what was going on inside that head of his.

"Let's get you out of there." Edward reached down and began pulling me in tight against his body to help me up.

"I'm all wet so-"

"That's what she said." Edward's laughter rumbled through his chest and vibrated against me. Seeing him so happy and excited made me smile. He was always so stressed lately. I began laughing along when I gingerly stepped with my right foot.

"Ow!" Tears came to my eyes against my wishes. I knew if Edward saw how much pain I was in he'd call off our date night. Trying to hide the grimace and moisture in my eyes, I turned my head away from him. I figured my naked breasts were sufficient distraction from the very visible pain.

"Bella? I think I need to look at your ankle more closely."

Clearly I was wrong.

"Baby, I'm sure it's just fine. Don't worry about it. I just want to get on with our evening."

"What kind of doctor would I be if I let my beautiful girlfriend go without proper treatment?" He chuckled as he gently pushed me down so I was sitting on the edge of the tub.

"This isn't necessary, Edward." He helped swing my legs out over the tub and propped my right leg up so he could get a closer look.

"Bella…your ankle is really swollen." He lightly pushed around the inflammation.

"So?" I felt pain as he rotated it around.

"And you don't have full range of motion." He tried to gently push my foot up. It hurt so bad that I cried out before he moved it very far.

"It's not that bad." I bit my lip in attempts to conceal the pain again.

"You could have fractured something, Bella. This amount of swelling isn't exactly _normal. _I can't be sure if anything more is wrong unless we get it x-rayed."

"Oh no, Edward, we don't need to go to the-"

"No arguing, love. Let me help you get covered up and I'll take you to the ER." His expression was grim and I was afraid he might be mad at me.

"I'm sorry I ruined your plans for tonight." Hot tears pricked my eyes.

"You didn't ruin anything, Bella, don't worry. Maybe if they're quick, we can still make it."

"To dinner?"

"Yeah, dinner…"

--

**EPOV**

I helped Bella pull on a pair of baggy sweats, some of my old NU ones, and watched on with amusement as she tried to wrestle her wet hair back into a ponytail.

"It's all knotted and gross." She pouted, making it impossible to not kiss her. After a quick peck I pulled back and noticed a slight frown on her face.

"What's wrong?"

"I won't be in any shape to go somewhere nice for dinner. Look at me! I'm a mess." Seemingly giving up on that adorable mess of hair of hers, Bella tied it up in a quick bun. She made to reach for some make-up, but we didn't really have time for that. The quicker we got her to the hospital the quicker we were on the road to Geneva. That also meant the quicker I got that ring on her finger.

_Hell, I don't even care if we go to an actual restaurant tonight. Just as long as we get out of here and Bella says ye,s I am fucking fine eating whatever._

"Don't worry, we'll just pick something up on the way."

"On the way to where?" _Oh shit, did I really say that? _"To the hospital?"

"Oh, uh, no. Not to the hospital. On the way home. We can just enjoy a nice night in." She didn't have to know the night in would be at a Bed & Breakfast…

"That sounds nice." Her hands were on my chest all of a sudden and I worried if I didn't keep my mind right, I'd forget she had an injured ankle and take her in the bathroom.

--

I managed to get Bella in my car by carrying her on my back to keep all weight off her right foot. She kept giggling, jokingly calling me her pony. Then she started singing Ginuwine in my ear. I was so fucking hard, even though the timing was completely wrong. But when your girlfriend starts singing about riding you, your cock pays attention.

Dr. Gerandy saw us enter the clinic and luckily worked some magic to get us in with a nurse quickly. After she asked the standard questions about what was wrong and how much pain Bella was in, she informed us that as soon as Dr. Gerandy was done with his other patient, he'd be in to see us. Unfortunately, the paper thin walls made it possible to hear some of the conversation going on next door. It didn't sound like Dr. Gerandy would be done anytime soon.

Even after the talking died off, Bella and I were sitting and waiting for several long minutes.

"This is getting ridiculous." I thought I'd have some pull around here… "I should go find someone to help you out."

"Don't bother, Edward, I'm sure the doctor will be in soon." She was still clearly in pain but patient despite probably being as anxious as I was to leave…though not necessarily for the same reasons.

In fact, I was amazed I'd managed to keep my cool for this long. I had originally planned to be on the road by then. We would already be cutting into our plans. If Dr. Gerandy didn't hurry the fuck up, we'd miss even more. I didn't want to postpone the proposal for another night. The idea of having to sit on this any longer had me itching all over.

A knock on the door announced Gerandy's arrival. _Finally. _He walked in slowly, taking his time as he settled behind the computer. I wanted to growl at him. _Hurry up. _

"You just couldn't stay away for one night, huh Cullen?" I wanted to scowl, but since I worked under Gerandy, I had to suck it up. So I laughed.

"Guess not."

Gerandy went through the same routine as the nurse, only taking on a hands-on approach like I had done in the bathroom. Bella told him whenever she felt pain, wincing and struggling against his assessment. I noticed his brow furrow when he reached the same conclusion as me.

"I'd like to get this x-rayed."

Bella groaned even though I had basically told her to expect that.

"Okay."

"I'll have someone from Radiology come get you."

Which meant more waiting. Great.

Gerandy left us to our disappointment. Bella, disappointed because our date night was looking ruined, and me, disappointed because the first night in what was supposed to be our weekend getaway was ruined.

A low rumble broke me from my thoughts.

"God, I'm starving." Bella patted her empty stomach, looking sheepish. Another strange sound came from her, making me laugh, despite my sour mood.

"Bella Swan?" A stocky, balding man came in the room with a wheelchair. "I'm here to take you to radiology."

When Bella was safely in the wheelchair and covered in a warm blanket, I decided to use the time for some last minute cancelations.

"Love," Bella turned to look at me before being wheeled out of the room. "Why don't I pick you up some food while they're getting your film?" I figured I could call from the road so she wouldn't overhear anything and feel guilty.

"The usual?" A smile touched her lips, making it hard to leave her.

"Of course." The drive to El Famous would give me plenty of time.

--

Bella's food lay on the passenger seat as I dialed the White Swan. I explained about Bella's accident and not being able to make it up that night only to be informed that due to their 24 hour cancellation policy, I would receive no kind of refund. Damn it.

My hand reached into my pocket, finding the small box there. Pulling it out, I flipped open the top and looked at the ring I wanted Bella to wear for the rest of her life. Simple, classic, a timeless piece of beauty. Just like Bella. When I woke up that morning, I had everything planned to perfection. How had it all gone to shit?

No candlelit dinner.

No romantic music.

No heartfelt, sappy speech.

No down on one knee as Bella finished her dessert.

No hectic scramble to our bedroom to celebrate.

No rose petals, tea lights, music.

Or, to put it simply, no perfect proposal for a woman who was more than deserving.

I managed to make my way back to Bella's room without realizing. My body was on auto-pilot as my mind slowly berated itself for not being able to make everything come to fruition.

"Mm, something smells good." Bella was back in her room, sitting atop the bed. She shifted her weight to lean closer to me, making the paper underneath crinkle noisily.

"The usual."

She rubbed her hands together, so childlike, in her joy. It was really quite adorable how easily pleased she was. I loved how much she loved the simple things in life.

"Gimme!" I barely had the chance to hand the white styrofoam container over before she had it opened. She was in the middle of shoving a chicken taco into her mouth when Gerandy came back into her room with film in hand.

"Good news, Bella. No fracture. Although your ligaments did suffer some damage…"

I tuned him out, already knowing the proper treatment for a moderately sprained ankle. Instead, I watched Bella. Her hair was making a desperate bid for freedom from the tie that held it in place. Tendrils had made their way around her face, behind her ears, half in her eyes. She didn't seem to notice as she listened to everything her doctor said. She was completely caught up in what he was saying, probably wanting to make sure she'd follow his advice to the best of her ability.

However, that didn't stop her from eating. A white, plastic fork made its way to her mouth. I stared openly as she slowly wrapped her lips around it. From the look on her face, I knew she was savoring the taste. After watching her swallow, she pulled the fork even more slowly out of her mouth, keeping those pouty lips firm around the plastic. When it was out of her mouth, she used her tongue to lick off any remaining beans. So sensual. So erotic. And it was fucking Mexican food.

_Oh fuck._

I looked up at her eyes and noticed she was staring at me, catching me eye fucking her. The tiniest smirk graced her lush lips. Even though I had been so impatient for the good doctor to arrive, I was now more than ready for him to leave.

"Make sure to take it easy. Avoid being on your feet as much as possible."

"I know the dril,l doctor. This isn't my first time with an ankle injury." Bella turned to face me completely, eyes laughing.

I didn't think it was funny at all. Because of me she was hurt and unable to participate in the activities I had planned for the weekend. What was the point of even going away? So that she could spend the next two days in bed? She wouldn't be able to enjoy the boat ride, the dancing, the strolls through town…

"Edward? What's the matter?" I looked up to find us alone in the room. Gerandy had slipped out while I was distracted.

"I'm just, well, fucking pissed." Bella cringed. "Not at you, love! At me. I'm pissed at myself."

"Why?"

"Because, look at you!" She cringed again.

"That's not exactly the smoothest thing you've ever said to me."

Shit, this was not coming out right.

"I'm sorry; you know I don't mean it like that. You're here with a sprained ankle instead of out celebrating with me. We're going to miss out on…so much."

"Like what?"

I shook my head, not wanting to go into details.

"And then you made that joke about having gone through this before, as if that's even funny!"

"It is funny, at least to me. It's like we've come full circle." She waited for me to respond, but when I said nothing, continued with her train of thought. "Doesn't it seem like a lot of our biggest moments happen in a hospital? Or at least, they did when we were first dating?"

"Such as."

"The night at the club. That was a pretty big night, right? You decided to take a chance. And then, our first date at the concert. I ended up here, with a broken ankle, my left ankle to be exact. It's almost too perfect that I've managed to screw up my right ankle the night we were going out to celebrate my graduation. Don't you think?"

_Not just your graduation._

"Still, this isn't what I had planned."

"That's okay. I think it's almost better this way." Did she have any idea what she was even saying? "Because I mean, you know I don't need the big, fancy, over the top stuff. This is more us anyway. Me doing something stupid and you being there to take care of me." It was almost like she wasn't talking about the date night she was expecting anymore. "Besides, we're together. And I have my El Famous. The night seems pretty damn close to perfect if you ask me."

"Bella-" My hand was in my pocket and my knees were bending. I heard a soft gasp that brought my eyes to Bella's face. Her eyes were bright and shining. "Will you marry me?"

"Oh-"

"I mean…shit, Bella, this isn't how I planned on proposing, but you're just sitting there all beautiful and talking like that, telling me how perfect this is. And all I wanted was for the perfect proposal, because you deserve the best and I am so ready to make it official and make you mine forever." I opened the box, but Bella's eyes never left mine.

"Yes."

"Everything I planned got screwed up. I wanted to…wanted to woo you all over again. But of course it never works out-"

"Edward, yes." I felt her warm hands cup mine, bringing them and the box closer to her. "Of course I'll marry you!"

"Yeah?" I was a little dumbfounded at my outburst, and that she had actually said yes.

"Yeah. Now get that ring on me."

With shaking hands, I managed to slip the ring on her finger. It looked perfect there, like she was always meant to wear it. _Mine. _Bringing her hand up to my lips, I placed a soft kiss on her finger, just below the ring.

"You have no idea how happy you've just made me."

I stood up and kissed her, showing her through my lips, teeth, and tongue just exactly how she made me feel. She moaned softly when I put both hands on either side of her, trapping her underneath me. When I felt the cool metal of her ring on the back of my neck, I fucking lost it. I pressed my hips into hers, rubbing my erection against her roughly. Bella gasped out my name and some sense returned to me. I grudgingly removed myself from between her legs and made my way to the door.

"Where are you going?" Her cheeks were flushed with her desire.

"To lock the door. Don't want anyone interrupting, now do we?" When I had done just that, I rushed back over to Bella, needing to be as close as possible.

"Hurry, Edward." Her eyes were dark and hooded with desire. "Want you so much."

"I know, love. As much as I want to take my time worshiping you, I can't. I'm too impatient. I love you. I want you. Right now."

"Oh God." Her hands were on my pants, quickly unzipping the fly so she could reach her tiny, warm hand in to grab my dick. "Take off your pants."

Bella moved her hand away so I could push my pants and underwear down. As soon as they hit the ground though, her hand was back, stroking my slowly. I pressed myself closer to her body, crashing my lips down on hers. While I kissed her, she worked me up and down. Every time she brought her hand up, I felt the pad of her thumb graze across my tip. I trembled against her mouth as she drove me to the brink of insanity. Before I could get too close to coming, I gently removed her hand from my dick. I was able to pull away from her without too much protest.

"Those sweats have got to go." I yanked down the pants, being careful to avoid her right ankle as much as possible. I was in the process of removing her underwear when a noise outside caught our attention.

"Everything alright in there?" I didn't recognize the voice behind the door.

"Yes, Bella's just finishing her dinner and we'll be on our way." Somehow, I was able to calmly speak, while Bella's hands found their way to my erection again.

"Ok. Just leave the door open when you're done."

We both stood still, waiting for the sound of footsteps to fade away.

"What if someone catches us?" Bella sounded worried.

"The door is locked, remember?"

"But what if they hear us and come bang on the door to get us to stop?"

"Well then, you'll just have to be quiet then. Won't you?"

My hands went to the waist of her underwear, needing them out of the way so I could get inside her.

"Wait. Can you…leave them on? Just in case…"

She was worried about getting caught with her pants off. Even though the door was locked. Even though she'd be covered by me. Even though it was _my_ ass completely bare, pants down around my ankles.

"Bella-"

"Please." She reached down and moved the crotch of her underwear off to one side.

For whatever reason the sight of her like that made me even harder. It made it more exciting because we were doing something we weren't supposed to.

"Please." She repeated herself, this time using her other hand to grab onto my cock and guide toward her pussy. She slid my head up and down her lips, rubbing it against her clit, making her moan.

"Shh, Bella. Gotta stay quiet." I used my lips to keep her quiet, swallowing her moans as she used my cock as she pleased. When she finally pressed me up against her entrance, I was wound up so tight I couldn't stop myself from thrusting into her. Hard.

The muffled gasp only spurred me on. Bella was so tight around me. Tight and warm and wet. Her left leg wrapped around my waist while her right lay to the side, an attempt to keep it from getting injured more.

I couldn't stop kissing her as I continued to pound into her. I wanted to be attached to her in every way possible. Her lips moved against mine eagerly and I knew she was feeling the same way. The need to be connected to each other was tangible. Her hands were on my upper back, stroking my shoulder blades; nails biting into my skin.

"I love you," she half whispered, half panted against my cheek.

Her words. Even after all the years, those three little words made me high. She loved me and now she would be my wife. I fucking loved her. So fucking much. And I needed every inch of her. All the time. Right now.

The hoodie that swallowed her was easily pushed up past her bra. Not having time to unclasp that, I shoved the cups up to expose her rosy pink nipples. They were hard with her excitement. Just begging for me to take into my mouth.

Licking around each stiff peak, I tasted the slight salt of her skin. My mouth enclosed around her nipple and sucked hard. Bella cried out in pleasure.

"Shhh," I murmured against her breast before scraping my teeth against her pebbled flesh.

"Edward!"

I covered her mouth with my hand, yet again trying to keep her quiet. She lowered her noises and I thought she was going to cooperate. Instead, I felt her tongue flick against my palm. I drew away in surprise but didn't get far. Bella stilled my hand and took my index finger into her mouth, letting her tongue swirl around it.

"Fuck, Bella."

"Shh, Edward, be quiet."

She smirked at me as she gripped me tighter with hands and leg. Her mouth went back to sucking on my finger and all I could do was think about how good I felt inside both her pussy and her mouth.

"I'm so close." She was whimpering now, pushing her hips up to meet each of my thrusts.

"Me too." It was all I could do to not grab both her legs and hold her down while I lost myself inside of her.

Bella shuddered under me, tightening around my erection, and biting down on my finger to keep from screaming. The pain and pleasure mixed together, drawing out my own orgasm. I pulsed inside her, the feeling so intense I couldn't move.

"I love you. So much." All I wanted to do at the moment was collapse on top of her but knew we couldn't stay there like that any longer.

**BPOV**

Edward hurriedly grabbed a paper towel from the sink area to clean us up before getting our clothes situated. While he went to toss our garbage, I took a few seconds to look down at my left hand.

The band was thin, either white gold or platinum, with an emerald cut diamond. So simple yet so elegant. I loved that he knew my style enough to choose the understated. And I'll admit to loving how the diamond caught the light. It sparkled so nicely.

"Ready, love?" He held his hand out for me, ever the gentleman, to help ease me down from the bed.

"Yes." I knew I probably had the goofiest smile as we opened the door and made our way out of the InstaCare. If anyone was staring at us, I didn't know. I purposely kept my eyes on Edward, choosing to remain oblivious to anyone that most likely overheard our romantic tryst.

"It's a good thing we have a set of crutches at home already." Edward seemed to be floating along next to me, so great was his mood.

"Yeah, I guess being a klutz comes in handy for when I'm…being…klutzy." I laughed as I hobbled out of the building to Edward's car. It made my precarious balance all the worse, and I found myself clutching onto Edward even harder. If it hurt or was uncomfortable for him, he never mentioned. He might have even enjoyed it for all I knew.

"Let's get you home and that foot up. You need to rest and I want to pamper my fiancé." Edward's smile was blindingly brilliant as he opened the passenger side door to his Volvo, easing my body into the seat.

"I think you rather enjoy calling me that," I told him as he got in behind the wheel.

"I do." He leaned over to kiss me sweetly. "But I'll enjoy calling you my wife even more."

We drove home in contented silence, not needing to say anything. I almost felt like if I did speak, I'd be disrupting the magic in the air. It hadn't been the most traditionally romantic proposal, but it was honest and sweet and just right for us. Still, I felt bad that he had been planning something big, and I ruined it. I wondered just what he had wanted to do.

"Edward?"

"Yeah?" His response came across almost drowsy, though I knew he wasn't tired.

"What did you have planned for tonight?"

"Huh?"

"Well, you said earlier that you wanted to propose differently. So if I hadn't sprained my ankle, what would you have done?"

"Oh." Edward looked straight ahead, seemingly thinking something over. "You know what? It doesn't matter what I had planned, because this worked out even better. This worked out…perfectly."

* * *

**thanks for reading. for the last time ever...if you liked it, review.  
**


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